Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow
by Twilight-Kate
Summary: Inspired by a challenge. Buffy and gang go to Stars Hollow in fear a hell mouth may be opening. They fight to keep the secret that could be their greatest ally, for a town that has no idea what's coming for them. Crossover with Gilmore Girls.
1. Introduction

This story was inspired by a challenge from someone else. I decided to go a little out of my element to try and create something people would enjoy.

My guidelines were:

1) Has to be in Stars Hollow

2) Buffy and Lorelai had to have feelings for one another

3) Willow couldn't be with Kennedy

4) And Rory had to be in high school with Dean as a boyfriend

Now that screws up the timeline because Rory wasn't in high school when Buffy finished season 7. So just let this one go and enjoy the story. haha

It takes place (for Buffy), almost a year after season 7. The rest is just me making stuff up.

Only the characters I make up, are mine. Images of these characters will come soon, as I love to have an image as I write.

Dedicated to my friend Jenn, who always wanted to read my stories and will start with this, even though Buffy and Lorelai have to be together (as per my instructions) haha

Enjoy all!

Please review


	2. Captain Frueeios or Cheer Loop Crunch?

* * *

Buffy Goes To Stars Hollow

Chapter One " Captain Frueerios or Cheer Loop Crunch

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from either Buffy or Gilmore Girls. I make no money from these stories. They are written purely for my amusement and yours. Enjoy.

A/N: Feedback is always, always appreciated.

* * *

"Wow, how much did you pack?" Xander groaned under the weight of the huge box he was carrying. He set it down on the end of the pine sleigh bed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a box float by. Startled he lost his grip on the box, spilling half the contents onto the mattress.

"Way to go Xand," Buffy said from the doorway.

Xander gave her a look, "Well, tell Will to stop floating boxes…it's just plain disturbing."

Willow laughed as she crossed her bedroom. With a flick of her wrist the spilled contents lifted up and returned back to the box.

"Why am I lifting boxes as big as my head when you're just doing the magic whammy with them?" Xander asked.

Willow tucked a red strand of hair behind her ear. "I was kinda wondering the same thing myself," she said with a smile.

" I thought you weren't using magic here Will. It's a small town, the kind where everyone knows your name, business and your favorite color. I am guessing the floating boxes is a show up at your door with pitch forks kind of idea."

" We're inside," Willow insisted, pointing towards the window, "as well as on the second floor!"

Xander looked at Buffy with a look that said, "Help me."

Buffy lifted her coffee mug to her lips and gently blew the steam away before taking a tentative sip. " You did say you'd be subtle with the whole magic thing Will. We can't have anyone noticing us too much."

Willow sighed. " I miss Rome," she muttered into the pillow that she hugged to her chest.

"Is Rome spelt K-E-N-N-E-D-Y?" Buffy asked softly.

Willow looked up at her from beneath her red bangs. " Maybe."

Xander dug his hands into his pockets as he stared at the ground awkwardly. Willow and Kennedy had broken up just before leaving Rome. Kennedy hadn't been thrilled with Willow spending a lot of her energy with the scoobies and then with the idea of Willow returning back to the states on another mission Kennedy had, had enough. They hadn't been getting along for a while, and Xander hadn't been surprised when it had ended. He didn't really like Kennedy that much anyway, she seemed bossy to him and he just never understood the chemistry between the two of them.

But this was his Willow and he cared more about her then he did most people, if she was hurting then he was hurting too.

Buffy crossed the room to sit next to her best friend. Xander muttered something about getting the rest of the boxes and disappeared. Buffy set her coffee on the bedside table before sitting next to Willow on the bed. Buffy pulled Willow into her arms and stroked her hair.

" I don't know why I'm surprised," Willow, said softly, "what Kennedy and I had was nothing compared to what Tara and I had."

"Nothing will be like what you and Tara had," Buffy said, knowing that the truth behind the statement was something she could identify with herself, " she was your soul mate."

Willow nodded, "Yeah but it wasn't even close. And I knew it wouldn't be like Tara, but I think I used that as an excuse for long."

"Oh honey at least you know now. You can move on. Find someone who'll love you as much as you deserve."

Willow smiled. They sat silent for a moment before willow spoke. "I'll miss the sex though."

Buffy laughed. " I know what you mean."

"It's been awhile," Willow admitted sheepishly.

" I know what you mean," Buffy repeated.

" We'll find someone right?" Willow asked.

"Of course," Buffy answered immediately.

Both girls sat in contemplative silence.

* * *

Lorelai looked at her reflection in her vanity as she swept her make up brush over her eyelid. She worked without thinking as she had done for two weeks after sleepless nights.

The same nightmare haunted her thoughts night after night. The same black void that chased her through the night. All she had felt was hopelessness and that was the most terrifying thing she could imagine.

Every morning she switched over to autopilot and tried to get through the day. Something was happening she had no idea what, but something was going to happen. Something in her gut was trying to warn her about something, but for the life of her she couldn't guess what.

She finished applying the smoky purple eye shadow and drew a smoky purple line around her eyes with pencil then applied her mascara. Lorelai stood back to view the result. It made her eyes look even lighter; she had to admit she actually looked human, probably because she'd used half a bottle of concealer on the bags under her eyes. She dabbed some coral lip-gloss on her lips before tossing it into her black purse.

After dressing in a gray pantsuit, she grabbed her blazer and headed down to breakfast.

Rory was already there and surrounded by three cereal boxes.

"Hey kid trying a different combo today?" Lorelai asked as she poured herself a much-needed cup of coffee.

Rory nodded. "Today it's Captain Crunch, Cheerios and Fruit Loops. I call it Captain Frueerios."

Lorelai smiled. "Or possible Cheer Loop crunch?"

Rory looked at her mother as if she was crazy. " I think the word Captain gives it a sophisticated sound."

"Sure cause a guy with eyebrows on his hat screams sophistication," Lorelai said, as she unwrapped a cold pop tart from the box.

"Well, when your hat is so big where else would you put them?" Rory asked as she shoved another spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

"Are you coming home night after school today or seeing Dean?" Lorelai asked already knowing the answer to this question.

"I have a project due on Friday," Rory said, "I have to work on the outline."

Just as Lorelai suspected. "Oh dear daughter of mine, " Lorelai sighed, "have a little fun. Honor the time old tradition of blowing it off until the last minute."

"Honor?" Rory asked a skeptical look on her face.

"Time old," Lorelai finished. " It doesn't say time old for nothing you know."

"Right. Well, I'm all for fun but fun doesn't give you credit for Harvard."

"When is it time new tradition?" Lorelai wondered out loud

"There isn't." Rory answered poking at her cereal.

"Well not if someone doesn't start it," Lorelai stated. "It'll be like a time new tradition."

"My mother the revolutionary," Rory muttered. "When the morning ramble begins it's time to go."

Lorelai smiled, popping a piece of pop tart into her mouth. " Have a good day. Don't waste time with all that fun ya hear?' Lorelai said in a horrible southern accent.

"I won't," Rory grinned. "It'll be part of my time new tradition."

"That's my girl!"

Rory bent to kiss her mother's cheek. " Bye."

"Bye Hun."

After Rory left Lorelai's smile faded instantly. It was getting harder and harder to keep this up. Even the morning routine was lacking. She dumped the dishes in the sink. Somehow she would find something to get her out of this funk.

* * *

The light streamed in through the tiny crack in the white lace curtain. It fell perfectly across her closed eyes making her groan in response.

The morning had come way too quickly yet again. Kate snuggled deeper under her comforter trying desperately to find sleep again. She weighed the ups and downs of whether she should close the curtains or not before the fog of sleep had a chance to lift completely.

Rolling onto her side she looked around her two-room loft over top of Doosey's Ice Cream Shoppe. It was a cute little loft and even though it was basically bare it was all hers and she loved that.

The furniture she'd brought with her consisted of a small table which she used as a kitchen table and a black wrought iron bed, bedside table and a couple of pictures. It was small but had huge windows with always made it seem light and cheery. And her bed fit perfectly into the small alcove in the far corner of the loft.

Kate had lived here for only two weeks in this small picture perfect town and everyone was so nice. For the first week everyone treated her like she was this hot commodity. As if they'd never had new people come to their town, they hurried to have her figured out.

Now, four new people had bought a house on Peach Street in the beautiful old Victorian house that she walked by every day. The town's attention shifted towards them and that was ok by her; she wasn't much for attention anyway.

Two weeks ago she had shown up, broke, homeless and hopeless at Luke's Diner and he'd offered her a free cup of coffee, a job as a waitress and rented her the loft over the ice cream Shoppe. He was a lifesaver. He'd even brought her over a bookshelf, couch, coffee table, chairs, an armchair and a desk in the couple of weeks that she'd been there.

Not only was he already protective of her but also he was also incredibly sexy in that scruffy way.

With a sigh of frustration, Kate threw aside the covers and shuffled to the bathroom. Today Luke would be delivering her shobi screen that he insisted he could make for her, when she told him she'd like to save up for one to create a separation between her bedroom area and the rest of the loft.

Even though life was pretty great right now, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was up. She felt like she was constantly forgetting something she was supposed to do. Usually this feeling took awhile to hit her and then she'd pack up and move on again, never really belonging anywhere. There was a new feeling though, which was new…that somehow the answers she had been searching for might be found here.

* * *

Buffy brushed her hair for the millionth time before twisting it into a French twist and securing it with pins. Taking a deep breath she let it out slowly, willing herself to relax. She'd battle the worst kind of evil imaginable and she was getting the wiggins because of a job interview!

Everyone was pulling his or her weight to pay rent now it was her turn. Unfortunately killing beasties didn't pay well. In Rome she had worked at Dawn's school having enjoyed the brief stint at Sunnydale High.

Giles said that Stars Hollow might be a potential Hell mouth. After the defeat of the First, Giles said that evil had got desperate and wouldn't attempt a re appearance at an existing hell mouth and would attempt a surprise attack. So here she was again.

Willow had got a job at Stars Hollow high school as a computer teacher, Xander was working –surprise-construction, Dawn was enrolled at Stars Hollow High and Buffy was going for a job interview at the Independence Inn.

Buffy dressed in black dress pants and a shear champagne camisole type shirt under a black blazer. She'd chopped her hair while in Rome so it didn't take a lot of time to pin it up in a loose bun. She was a mixture of sophisticate and casual. Buffy took a second deep breath, finished applying her make up before grabbing her purse and keys and headed out.

Boxes still lined the hallways, which still annoyed her. The boxes didn't make her feel settled and after a hectic year she wanted to feel settled again.

Buffy stepped out onto the sun filled streets and headed towards the Inn.

* * *

Lorelai set down the file folders on the reception's area and glanced Michel.

She sighed. "What now Michel?"

"Peter and Shelly were snickering at me," he said in his thick French accent.

"Well if you would stop doing butt clenches behind your desk it would make it much easier on all of us to pretend we don't notice," Lorelai said.

Michel sniffed as if he had smelt something funny, "If no body cares about personal fitness is not my fault."

"Oh we care Michel," Lorelai said as she shifted through her daily planner, " but seeing is different."

"Fine," he said, "I will do my exercises somewhere else. It wouldn't hurt Peter to try and exercise."

"Michel…" Lorelai sighed.

" 'E's got the beer belly you Americans wear as if it were an accessory," he muttered bitterly.

"Well with fanny packs out of fashion we had to find something to pouch out our stomachs." Lorelai looked up as if she'd just remembered something she'd forgotten, " Remember Jelly Bracelets?"

"Jelly Bracelets?" he said with disgust.

"Yeah in all the colors. I used to wear them all up my arms…"

" "Ow fascinating," Michel said rolling his eyes

"Now a days," Lorelai said with a wave of her hand and roll of her eyes," kids wear them to symbolize their sexual partners."

"But not you…" Michel added clearly bored now that the conversation had shifted.

"No, of course not," Lorelai said. "Though getting knocked up would have probably earned me the glittery kind."

"Possibly," Michel said no so subtly covering a yawn.

"Sorta wishing you hadn't started this?" Lorelai asked a knowing smile on her face.

"Very much," Michel said as he returned to his computer.

"What's on the agenda?" Lorelai asked.

"Your interview for your assistant," he said bitterly.

"Now Michel you know you're my favorite but having an assistant will help both of us with the workload."

"I suppose," Michel said, starting to come around to the idea.

"I just hate the interview process. It's a parade of fakeness. Everyone is so fake and overly chipper."

"Why don't you drink some more coffee and you can catch up." Michel added.

"I know you're joking but that sounds like a great idea," Lorelai said. "Hey maybe I can make my assistant get me coffee."

"Yes, because that helps both of us," Michel said sarcastically.

"A manager with a sugar high is a happy manager," Lorelai said cheerfully.

"You are crazy on a sugar high," Michel added, starting to warm up to the idea.

"So who is first on the list of potentials?"

Michel looked at his computer. " 'Er name is Buffy Summers"

Lorelai stared. "Buffy? As in the dog faced girl?" she added with a laugh.

Michel, usually one to enjoy a sharp jab at someone's expense didn't laugh; instead he stared just over Lorelai's shoulder. Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut in horror. "She's standing right behind me isn't she?"

"Yes," Michel said, a smile finally breaking through, "Oh this is going to be a very good day."

Lorelai turned towards the blonde haired girl that stood in the doorway a bemused expression on her pretty face. The first response should have been horror at what she must have overheard and yet there was another feeling. Did she know this girl?

"I am so sorry. Haven't had my medication today," Lorelai joked. She held out her hand. "Lorelai Gilmore."

"Buffy Summers. No canine aspects at all," she added with a smile as she shook her hand.

"Oh good," Lorelai said with a shaky laugh, "Cause the whole marking your territory thing could be awkward."

" I'm house trained."

"How long ago did this get old?" Lorelai asked.

"Pretty much from the get go," Buffy laughed.

Lorelai smiled. "It's nice to meet you. I think this will work out great. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"I'd love a cup of coffee!" Buffy said relieved after missing her morning coffee.

"Big coffee drinker?" Lorelai asked as she led her towards the kitchens.

"If it were a drug I'd snort it," Buffy said.

Lorelai laughed as she fell in step beside Buffy. "I hear ya. You know Buffy, I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

* * *

To Be Continued 


	3. The First Smell Of Snow

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from either show. I make no money for these stories.

* * *

"Eeeee…oooh,oooh…oh no, oh no…"

"Havin' some trouble there?" Rory asked.

Lorelai looked from her daughter to the armful of junk food she was-ungracefully-trying to fit through the doorway. A bag of double chocolate chip cookies toppled over and fell to the floor with a loud smack.

"Ah crap, now they'll be all smooshed," Lorelai pouted.

Rory nodded solemnly. "The chips will have separated from the cookie."

Lorelai looked up at her daughter, a thought forming in her head. "Which is why we will crumble the bits over ice cream!"

"I knew there was a reason you were my hero!" Rory smiled.

"Thank you, thank you," Lorelai said, attempting a bow. "Now help mummy move our stash to the kitchen."

"Ok," Rory said, taking an armful of junk food. "So what's all this for? It's not movie night."

"No," Lorelai agreed, " but it is a very special night and I have donuts and coffee."

"Donuts and coffee?" Rory said as she tried to mull it over in her head and the meaning behind the special occasion gala.

"Rory!" Lorelai exclaimed in mock horror. Running over to the door she yanked it open allowing in a cold draft that sent goose bumps up Rory's arms.

"It's freezing in here!" Rory said, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Can't you smell it?" Lorelai said a smile from ear to ear.

"Oh no," Rory mumbled, burying her face in her hands.

"Yep. Snow!" Lorelai said, holding her arms out to the side as the wind blew her hair around her pretty face.

"The weather report says it's not supposed to snow until next week," Rory pointed out.

"Weather report, schmeather report," Lorelai said waving her hand in dismission. "I smell it!"

"I don't," Rory said, "Like dogs and high pitched noises, I think only you have the skill to smell the coming snow."

Lorelai smiled. "It's cool to be original."

"So when do you predict it will come?" Rory asked.

"Hmmm..Tomorrow, definitely tomorrow." Lorelai said with conviction," Oh, it's a magical time with cool coats and pretty scarves and cute hats! Oh and mittens! You can't forget the mittens!"

Rory smiled. "Mittens are a plus," she agreed.

Lorelai closed the door softly. Even she was human and it was starting to get a little to cold for comfort. "I love the snow," she said softly, taking a deep breath of the lingering fresh air that filled the tiny kitchen.

"Seriously?" Rory said sarcastically.

"Are we going to have donuts and coffee at midnight?" Lorelai asked. As if she had to ask.

"Absolutely," Rory assured her, "even if we have to stand in a blizzard to do so." Her mom's over the top enthusiasm was starting to spread even if she'd had a crappy day today.

"You are my hero," Lorelai said hugging her daughter around the shoulders.

"Did you say something about chocolate chip ice cream?" Rory hinted.

Lorelai had the bag of chocolate chip cookies. "Way ahead of you and I got gummies, strawberries-side note, I promised Taylor my first born for these as they are out of date…."

"I am not living at Taylor's. He'd make me wear a uniform and work in his shop." Rory said.

"Yeah, and a hat like a tea cozy!" Lorelai laughed, enjoying the joke. "And…and he'd make you speak in a British accent like a proper young lady."

"Ok mom…"

"Wait, I'm not done." Lorelai said, almost in hysterics now," and he'd make you…." Lorelai paused. "Oh, what do you know I'm done. Hmmm…thought I was on a roll."

"It's a travesty," Rory said seriously, taking a look through the bags. "Charcoal?"

"For texture." Lorelai said with a straight face.

"What?"

"The snowman," Lorelai said with a sigh.

"Ah, right." Rory said, replacing the bag.

"Not that I'm not enjoying this whole straight man, funny man act, but what's up kid? You aren't your usual jolly self."

Rory rubbed her temples slightly relieved that she could stop the act. "Just got a lot of homework to do. Chilton is really hard."

"Of course it's hard," Lorelai said, " it's a breeding ground for future Harvard alum. It's no walk in the park."

"Yeah, but…maybe I should have stayed in high school with Lane and…"

"Dean," Lorelai finished. She pulled out a chair and sat down.

Rory stayed silent, figuring that was the safest way to go. "Look Rory, I know you care about Dean a lot, and him with you. You have dreamed about Harvard for as long as I can remember. It's your dream, and it will get you far in life. You can literally do anything you want. Just because you don't see Dean everyday at school doesn't mean he won't be there when you graduate. It's a little time apart. It will be worth it. Besides I didn't raise my daughter to give that up for someone."

"It's not like that mom," Rory said. "So please, no uber feminism speech."

"It's not. I love men! I said someone. It's not worth it to give something up for anyone! "

Rory managed a small smile. "I know. Sorry. I just got a lot going on up here," she said tapping her head.

"You had a bad day hun. It's always on the bad days that we evaluate our lives. And that's fine. Just don't do anything rash on the bad days."

"So if it's what I wanted, you'd let me go to Stars Hollow High if I decided to do it on a good day?"

"Oh hun," Lorelai said soothingly as she tucked a piece of hair behind Rory's ear," not if your life depended on it."

"Gee thanks mom," Rory said, unable to suppress a smile.

Lorelai grabbed the cookies again. "That's what I am here for!"

* * *

The lobby of the Inn was bustling as Lorelai quickly made her way through the crowd juggling a hot mug of coffee.

"There are snowflakes out there," she said excitedly, "Actual flakes. Flakage if you would."

Michel looked up from his desk, "Go a-way," he muttered.

Lorelai ignored him. " We should get out the sleds. People will want to go sledding. And skates, "she said ticking off the items on her fingers, "the skates should be cleaned however. I will get Paul to get the skis out of the storage room while he's repairing room 108."

"As great as sliding around on half frozen water may make our guests the falling in and getting hypothermia may make for some bad suggestion cards. There is not enough snow on the ground for skiing unless people want to get stranded and then survive by eating their dead partner's buttocks," Michel said, ticking off the items on his fingers in a sarcastic mimic of Lorelai.

Lorelai's smile never faltered as she replied just as evenly. "You know, one good snowball fight might dislodge that pole from YOUR buttocks," Lorelai said with a smile.

"Go away," Michel repeated.

"You know what I love about snow?" Lorelai continued.

"Please, if you mention scarves or mittens I will 'urt you."

"Everything is so quiet, peaceful even. Everything is covered and everything starts fresh." Lorelai said a hint of sadness in her voice.

"And then it gets gray and slushy. It's bitterly cold and it is too icy," Michel said.

"Do you like anything about winter?" Lorelai asked.

"Yes," Michel said with conviction, making Lorelai's eyes widen in surprise. "The end of it."

Lorelai shook her head. "You are a sad little French man," she said as she took her mug of coffee and headed to the cheeriness of the kitchens.

As soon as Lorelai stepped into the open doorway she was greeted by Sookie's huge, cheerful smile that instantly made Lorelai feel recharged. She was in awe of Sookie and the way she seemed to have an endless amount of optimism…or maybe her act was just as convincing as Lorelai's had been lately.

There was nothing fake about Sookie though. She was holding her spatula in her head as she waved it around in time to her story. She waved her hand over her head and almost hit a server boy who jumped back just in time, but spilt the content of the tray he was carrying over his head in a wild imitation of slapstick comedy. Sookie, naturally, remained immune as she continued on with her story.

Lorelai rounded the corner to see who Sookie was deep in conversation with. Sitting on the opposite stood across from Sookie sat Buffy Summers, her newest assistant. There was something about this girl that Lorelai couldn't put a finger on. She sat there in a light smoky gray blazer and pantsuit, with a crisp white shirt underneath. Her hair was pulled up high on her head, leaving her long neck exposed with only a few tendrils that must have escaped. There was something so strong in such a petite girl. Something that Lorelai wished she had in herself. Buffy's lip curved up in a smile and Lorelai found herself smiling too. What was happening? She was officially going crazy. For a split second she thought herself yearning…_nope, must stop crazy thoughts_, she thought to herself. _It's probably the lack of sleep._

"Hey Lorelai," Sookie exclaimed, nearly knocking over the same server boy that had just stood up from picking the contents off the floor. He covered his head and ducked.

Lorelai snapped out of her trance and took a hesitant step into the kitchen. Buffy looked up and her and smiled. "Sorry, I just…." She said, getting to her feet.

Sookie smiled guiltily. "It's my fault," she explained. " I sorta caught on fire and Buffy ran in here and put me out. And then you know me, ramble, ramble, ramble." She finished giggling.

"Not a problem. You ok Sookie?" Lorelai asked, concerned about her overly clumsy friend.

"A little singed but still cookin'. Get it..cookin'" She laughed.

Lorelai was staring at Buffy again. Buffy stared back a moment before looking down at the floor. Sookie frowned. "It's my fault Lorelai, you aren't mad are you?"

Lorelai realized then that she was staring. "What? No, of course not, "She said smiling, "Sorry, I keep going somewhere else. Haven't had a decent nights sleep for a couple of days." _More like two weeks, _she thought.

"I could take care of things if you wanted to go lay down in one of the rooms," Buffy volunteered, retrieving her notebook from the counter. "I was just about to call Sam and tell him about the Baxter's anniversary dinner. So there's nothing more to do."

"Yeah, maybe I might," Lorelai said, feeling suddenly very tired.

Sookie was concerned. Lorelai didn't look so good. Her normally bright eyes were showing signs of some dark circles, which when she looked closely, was a bad attempt at covering them up. "Yeah, you should lay down hun. I'll wake you up in a couple of hours with some hot chocolate and marshmallows." She added trying to remind Lorelai of the winter drink that Lorelai loved to drink as soon as the first snow hit.

"Thanks Sook," she turned to Buffy, "If you have everything under control I'll take a nap in one of the empty rooms."

"Not a prob boss," Buffy said, squeezing Lorelai's arm. "Relax."

Lorelai felt the touch of Buffy's hand on her arm like an electric current. "Right."

She said her goodbyes and turned and made a hasty retreat to the nearest vacant room. She felt like she was going insane. She was thinking thoughts that at any other time would make her seriously doubt her insanity. She could run through the thoughts a million and one times it still wouldn't make sense. She was out of excuses and too tired to care. But seeing Buffy Summers had just done funny things to her insides.

Lorelai found a vacant room at the end of the hall. She closed the door behind her and locked it. Slipping out of her cardigan she tossed it over the couch and kicked off her heels. She walked over to the large window that faced the pond and snow covered gardens. Everything was so pristine, so clean. Placing her palm against the window she felt the cool glass beneath her palm. She leaned her head against it, letting the coolness relieve the beginnings of a headache.

Finally, when sleep threatened to overcome her she pulled down the curtain and removed the rest of her clothing until she wore only her white silk slip. Lorelai crawled under the comforter and laid her head against the pillow.

For the first time in two weeks she felt the fog of sleep start to drift over her and she welcomed it. And for the first time in two weeks she dreamt.

* * *

"Oh my god," Lorelai gasped as she shot upright in bed. She clamped her hand over her heart that felt like it was going to burst from her chest. Her body was damp with sweat and her slip stuck to her like a second skin. Her breaths were coming out in long haggard breaths and her mind spun.

Burying her head in her hands she made herself calm down. The clock on the bedside told her that three hours had passed. She lay back down against the pillows. _What is happening to me?_ She thought wildly. _But it was a dream. I can't control what I dream about. No one can. I mean who hasn't dreamt about Angelina Jolie. But this was Buffy. Someone she knew. It must have been the thoughts from before that brought this on_, she thought calming herself down.

With a shaky breathe, she turned onto her side and fell into a troubled sleep.

* * *

Lorelai awoke to the sound of knocking on the door. She sat up, wrapping herself in a bathrobe as she walked towards the door. "Yes?" she called through the door.

"I brought you your hot chocolate," came Sookie's voice.

"Oh. Right." Lorelai said as she unlocked the door and pulled it open. She took the cup and sniffed the comforting smell of hot chocolate.

"You look a lot better," Sookie said clearly relieved.

Lorelai smiled. "Great sleep," she said her face starting to redden at the memory of why.

Sookie smiled back. "Good. Anything you want?"

"No. I am just going to get in the shower and then I'll bring the sheets down to be cleaned and we'll have Paul come and clean the room."

"You really need to go to all that. You only slept here a couple of hours." Sookie said.

. "Inn's policy. I will be down in a bit."

"Ok," Sookie said turning away. She had a second thought and turned back to Lorelai. "About Buffy?"

Lorelai had to stop herself from dropping the mug. Did she know? "What about her?"

"It's the end of her week trial and she was wondering if you were going to take her on full time."

Lorelai smiled. "She's definitely hired."

* * *


	4. One Step At A Time

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

Disclaimer: I do not own characters from Buffy or Gilmore Girls.

* * *

Kate set the dish bucket on the empty table and loaded the empty dishes inside. Spraying the table with cleaner she washed it, transfixed by the damp streaks that criss crossed back and forth.

"Kate? Are you ok?" came a familiar voice.

Kate jumped, visibly startled. She spun around coming very close to smacking right into the broad chest of Luke Danes. Luke reached out and grabbed onto her arms to steady her.

She smiled thankfully as she looked up to meet his look of concern. "Are you ok?" he repeated.

"Yeah," she said," Just a little spacey."

"Are you sleeping ok?" he asked. "Is the heat working a little better?"

"Yeah, it's all working perfectly," Kate, said. "You have to stop worrying about me Luke. You've done so much for me already."

Luke dug his hands into his pockets. "Am I smothering you? I am being too smothering aren't I? I knew it. Geez, it's just that I've never had a renter. Not really sure how to act."

Kate patted his forearm unaware of the jolt that shot through his body. "You're a great landlord. A god even." Kate laughed," I don't know what I'd do without you."

Luke smiled, slightly embarrassed suddenly. "Not a problem," he coughed as he turned and walked away.

Kate finished cleaning the table as a pretty red head walked through the door arm in arm with a young brunette.

They sat down at the newly cleaned table. Kate guessed there were talking about boys from the snippets of conversations she heard.

"Hello," Kate said, " Can I get you guys anything?"

The redhead smiled back. "Just coffee right now."

"Ummm…I will have coffee too," the brunette said.

"It will stunt your growth Dawnie," the red head said.

"I'm taller than both you and Buffy," she pointed out.

Willow frowned. "I changed my mine, she can have coffee and I will have orange juice that helps growth right?" She laughed.

"What about milk?" Kate suggested, "It does a body good and all that."

Willow smiled flirtatiously. "Milk then."

Kate smiled slightly flustered as she handed them both menus. She turned to go get their drinks but not before she heard Dawn mutter under her breath. "That was subtle Will."

Kate set their drinks in front of them promising to return in only a moment to take their order. A young man sat with his back to the window and looked up as Kate approached.

"What can I get you?" she asked pleasantly.

"The usual," he said matter of factly.

"And that would be?" she pressed the coffee pot growing heavier as she stood there.

"You don't know?" he said genuinely surprised. "Luke didn't tell you?"

"Uh no," Kate said, wishing that Luke would come and rescue her.

"Well that's not very good customer service," he said looking affronted.

"Well why don't you just tell me what your usual is and that way I promise that I will remember it for next time." Kate suggested growing more and more impatient.

"Oh well," he said considering this. " I don't have a usual item of choice. You see I fancy myself a bit of a connoisseur if you would. As long as I stick to my food groups as mother always taught me, I eat a little of everything."

Kate stared at him open mouthed. "Then why did you say it?"

"I was testing you. I take it upon myself to know the comings and goings of my fellow townspeople, as I am involved in many organizations. One of Taylor's right hand men so to say and I know that you are new so I was testing you," he said looking very pleased with himself. "The pinnacle of the food service industry is to know your customers. Their wants and needs."

What he needs is a swift kick to the head, Kate thought. She wondered if he would notice if she started to back away slowly…or did that bring on an attack?

"Can you just tell me what you want?" Kate said, almost begging now.

"I will have a coffee." He said simply.

"Alright," Kate said, pouring him his coffee as fast as humanly possible without spilling it and then getting a lecture of how the spillage of coffee would affect tips and the return of customers.

She walked over the counter where Luke was writing down inventory figures. "Who is that guy?" Kate whispered pointing over his shoulder.

Luke looked up. " That's Kirk."

"Is he…slow?" she asked hesitantly.

A laugh burst out of Luke before he could stop himself. "Not clinically," he said," he just lives in another world most of the time. If he annoys you just walk away, it doesn't stop him from talking but you sorta drown it out after a while."

"Ah ok. You serve him next time," she laughed.

The door opened and a young guy walked in and sat down with Willow and Dawn. Kate grabbed a fresh pot and headed over. "Hi can I get you guys anything?"

"How about a million bucks?" the guy asked.

"You think that if I had a million bucks I'd be working here?" Kate laughed.

"Hey!" came Luke's reply.

"Cause I totally would still be working here," Kate added quickly. "Best job ever."

The three laughed. "Coffee please," he asked. "My name is Xander by the way. We are new to town."

Kate shook his outstretched hand, careful to juggle the pot just right. "I am Kate and I'm fairly new myself."

The others introduced themselves officially. Kate found out that Dawn was going to Stars Hollow High and Willow was starting her new job as a teacher which is why she was way too nervous to eat, and Xander was doing construction in Hartford for now.

"How do you like school?" Kate asked Dawn, having never stayed in school long enough to make friends.

Dawn turned red and Kate worried that she had somehow embarrassed her.

"Dawnie has a crush on a boy don't ya?" Xander teased tickling her ribs. Dawn swatted him away.

"Cut it out!" she scolded even though her face lit up at the thought of this mystery boy.

Suddenly her face went still in surprise as her face went even redder than before. Kate turned to where she was looking. Kate smiled. " Oh you mean Jess?"

"Shhhh…"Dawn said in a loud whisper burying her head in her hands.

"Sorry," Kate apologized.

Willow patted Dawn's back. "Hun, you are only making more of a spectacle by hiding like this."

Kate left them and headed over to Luke and Jess. For Dawn's sake she should forget about Jess especially with that thing he had for Rory Gilmore.

* * *

Buffy wiped the mirror still foggy from her very hot shower. She still had a couple of hours before she even would have attempted to get up. She was waiting for a call from Giles, which meant she had to get up really early.

Wrapping herself in a terry cloth robe she exited the fog of the bathroom and into her adjoining room.

In a little under a year she'd lived in more places than she had ever before. Her room was her own with its mocha inspired coffee house feel. There was something about this town that made her feel lost and at home all at the same time.

Most of all she loved this house with it's old Victorian feel. All hardwood floors and arched ceilings. The boxes had finally been unpacked and everything had been arranged to make the home feel theirs.

Buffy, Dawn, Willow and Xander had moved into the six bedroom Victorian almost a month ago now without as much as a single vampire or demon showing up. As much as she loved this place she wondered if they had come to the right town. And the fact that the craziness could be going down somewhere else made her nervous.

Just then her phone rang. Buffy sprang upright snatching up the phone before it could ring a second time. "Hello?"

"Hello Buffy," came the soothing voice of her watcher.

Buffy felt herself relax almost instantly, the way you would after hearing a parent's voice. Even know she missed him so much. "Hey Giles. How are you?"

"A little tired," he said, " but otherwise I am in fine spirits. And the others?"

"Settling in.," she said, hoping they could jump into the point of the conversation. "That's the thing Giles, should be settling here. Nothing has happened and it's been almost a month now. Don't get me wrong, it's been great, almost like I was an actual person-but it's still weird right?"

"It is," Giles agreed." But the evil is moving to another location after the first fell, doesn't mean they aren't there. Maybe they are laying low, or simply haven't arrived."

"True," Buffy agreed.

"Did you get the job at the Inn?" He asked.

"Oh yes, sorry, I did. I was on a trial but now I am on full time. I am Lorelai's assistant manager."

"Well done Buffy," he said, fatherly pride evident in his voice.

"Thanks. I really like it. And it would have been awkward to watch the place without having a job there. And getting paid to be a slayer finally-huge perk!"

"Nothing suspicious there?" Giles asked.

"Well considering it may be the location of the new hell mouth as you said before, there isn't too much going on. Except…"Buffy trailed off wondering if she was looking for evil where there was none.

"Except?" Giles pressed.

"My boss, Lorelai Gilmore, she seems a little odd. I mean she's perfectly nice but I get this weird vibe when I am around her that I can't put a finger on. She stares at me a lot too, like she knows something."

"Hmmm.." And Buffy could almost swear she heard him cleaning his glasses as he pondered. "Well keep an eye on her. It could be nothing."

"Right. Not a problem," she said, feeling the conversation trailing. "Do you think you might come out here for a visit?"

Giles smiled at the hope in her voice. "Well I have to take care of a few things here. Just check that everything is going according to plan and then I will try to get out there."

"Ok, sounds great!" Buffy said feeling a lot better than she did this morning, even if she did have to get up extra early.

"I have to be off," he said, somewhat sad at ending the conversation. "Give everyone my love, even Xander. Take care of yourself."

"You too," Buffy said. She replaced the receiver and curled up on her side, wrapping the robe tightly around herself. Everything was going great she realized. She was happy, Dawn was happy again. Everyone was happy and settled. Everything seemed to be working itself out. Like the sort of feeling you get right before the fall.

* * *

Everyone was staring. She could feel several pairs of eyes watching every move she made from every angle. She may as well be sitting here naked with how exposed she was feeling. She wished now that she had just stayed in her own classroom alone than be in this small room sitting completely alone and surrounding by people twice her age if not more. Surely some of them must have wondered if a student had wondered into the wrong room.

"Hi, do you mind if I have a seat," came a voice.

Willow looked up into the face of an incredibly attractive woman. She opened her mouth to respond but didn't speak in fear that the words 'hubba hubba hubba' or something just as stupid, would come tumbling out of her mouth.

The women smiled, not missing a beat. "Please say yes as there are no other seats and I really don't want to walk out of here looking rejected."

Willow found her voice. "Please sit," she said her voice almost a squeak.

The women sat across from her. She took the lid of her salad and unwrapped a plastic fork. "My name is Ashley," she said.

"Willow."

"You must be the new computer teacher then," Ashley said, stabbing a piece of lettuce with her fork.

"That would be me," Willow said, suddenly unable to finish her lunch. It was hard enough to talk let alone go through the task of biting, chewing or swallowing. "And you are?"

"Gym teacher," she said. "So how are you enjoying S.H.H?"

"So far I like it," Willow said. Now that you are here, she added mentally.

Ashley smiled. "Good. I wouldn't want you to leave."

Willow felt her face start to redden. Has she just flirted with me, she thought.

"You and I are the only ones here under thirty. I don't have to talk about the beginnings of menopause now." She said laughing. Her laugh was just as throaty as her voice and it was the hottest thing that Willow had ever heard.

She had blonde hair that fell in soft curves and she had the greenest eyes that she had ever seen. She wondered if they were fake contacts. She had curves in all the right places and her skin was a warm olive color that had to be because of her background. Her face was perfect, from her big round eyes heavily lined with thick lashes, straight nose and full bow mouth that were now wrapped around her fork.

She didn't notice that Ashley had stopped eating and was now just staring at her with a raised eyebrow and a knowing smile.

"S…Sorry," Willow stammered, searching for an excuse, any excuse to explain the fact she had just mentally undressed a potential friend. "I was just wondering if you were wearing colored contacts." She couldn't believe she had just come up with such a convincing lie. Buffy must be rubbing off on her.

Ashley didn't buy it. " Nope. I'm 100 natural."

Willow almost choked on the suggestive nature of that comment. "Oh, they are pretty."

"Thanks," Ashley said. Just then the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. "Well guess it's back to the races."

Willow was so disappointed. "Right. Well thanks for eating lunch with me."

Ashley laughed. "You didn't even touch your lunch."

Willow looked down at her tray. "I guess I wasn't hungry. First day jitters I guess," Willow said lamely.

Ashley picked up her garbage, getting to her feet. "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Willow looked up in surprise. "Tomorrow. That's Friday."

"That's right," Ashley said.

"Friday is like a date night," Willow said, having meant to keep that thought to herself.

"So it is…"Ashley said, the corner of her perfect mouth turning up in a smile.

"Oh…well, sure. That would be great. Do you mean…I mean, do you know..I.."Willow stammered.

Ashley placed a reassuring hand on Willow's shoulder. "Gym teacher," Ashley said, feeling that should explain anything. "Can't give up a good stereotype." She said with a wink.

Willow smiled, her face growing red. "Alright then. I will see you tomorrow night then."

Ashley handed her a piece of paper that she had just written her number on. "Give me a call tonight. I will see you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of the class. " She paused in the doorway and turned back to Willow giving her a subtle once over. " By the way it was really nice meeting you."

Willow gathered up her things and headed to class trying to keep her legs from turning to jelly. God, she loved this town.

* * *

Lorelai wrapped her coat tighter around herself, rubbing her hands together to try and keep warm.

Rory stood at her side as they both stared at the large wood door.

"I would rather be dipped in honey and placed in a pile of red fire ants then knock on that door," Lorelai said seriously.

"I know," Rory said.

"I would rather be strapped to the propeller of a plane and flown across the Atlantic than knock on that door."

"I know," Rory said.

"I would rather be striped naked and paraded across this town then knock on the door."

"I know," Rory said.

Just then the door opened. "Lorelai, Rory," Emily said looking annoyed. "Are you just going to stand out there all night wishing the door open?"

"No Grandma. Sorry," Rory said.

"Well come on, don't let all the cold air in," Emily said, walking away leaving the door open behind her.

"I would rather be doused in alcohol and set on fire then walk through that door," Lorelai said.

"I know," Rory answered.

Lorelai stabbed at the meat substance on her plate with her fork, unaware of the conversation going on around her. All she could think about was Buffy and it was driving her crazy. For the last week of her trial she was always off to doing work and they would only meet when they were checking in with each other.

Then today Buffy was around her more. She didn't understand why but Buffy seemed to be around her at a moment's notice. Was she watching me? Lorelai wondered now as she sat in this dining room. Had she been feeling the same foreign feelings that she herself had felt a million times a day since Buffy showed up at the Inn?

"Lorelai?" Emily's voice came breaking through her thoughts.

"Mom?" Lorelai said.

"How is everything at the Inn?"

"Great."

"Rory told me you hired a new assistant manager. That must help a great deal." Emily said.

"Is that a question of a statement?" Lorelai asked.

Emily frowned. "What is her name?"

"Buffy Summers," Lorelai said, visibly tensing when she spoke the name out loud.

"What an odd name." Emily said.

Rory smiled. "At least she's pretty."

Lorelai reddened. "How do you know?"

"She came into the diner at dinner with her friends." Rory said. "She seems really nice."

"She is," Lorelai agreed picturing her again.

"So everything is going well then?" Emily said again.

"What's up mom?" Lorelai sighed.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked innocently.

"The smile mom. You have that smile."

"I am not allowed to smile now," Emily asked.

"Sure you are mom. But I know that smile," Lorelai said.

"I don't know what you are talking about Lorelai. Really, it' s a smile." Emily said, shrugging her shoulders. Lorelai couldn't believe that her mother even had the ability to do something so normal as shrug-ruining her perfect posture.

"No. It's the 'I've got something on Lorelai smile'" Lorelai said.

"Rory is your mother taking a medication of some sort?" Emily asked the same infuriating smile on her face.

"I am sitting right here mom," Lorelai sighed. Rory looked between the both of them wishing she could disappear, or that her grandfather would show up.

"So Rory are you looking forward to working at the Inn over the Christmas Holidays?" Emily asked.

Rory looked at her mom trying to send her a thought. Lorelai just looked confused.

"Yes I am," Rory asked, trying to take the attention away from her mother.

"The Chilton newsletter came out today!" Lorelai said, finally understanding, " And you've read it cover to cover and that explains the smile. It all makes sense now."

"You didn't read it yet Lorelai?" Emily asked.

"No mom. I was at work all day and then came straight here, but I will read it when I get home. Twice just to make sure I got all of it."

"You are so obtuse sometimes," Emily said, sipping her wine.

Lorelai leaned forward towards Rory as if they were in cahoots. "Did she just say I was fat?"

Rory smiled.

* * *

Willow pulled the fleece blanket for Buffy as she joined her on the couch.

"So how was your first day?" Buffy asked.

"Perfect," Willow sighed. " I actually met someone."

Buffy raised an eyebrow." Great, we are going to be run out of town cause the local teacher is canoodeling with students."

Willow elbowed her playfully. "Hey! Yeah right. It's a teacher."

"Gym teacher?"

Willow's eyes widened in surprise. " How did you know?"

Buffy shrugged. "Stereotype."

"That's what she said," Willow laughed.

Buffy nodded. "Then I like her already. So are you going out?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Good for you Will!" Buffy said honestly thrilled for her best friend.

"Yeah. She's gorgeous. And she is funny and I think it could be great. I am a little nervous though after everything with Kennedy."

"One step at a time Will," Buffy said.

"Exactly."

They both turned towards the television set. Buffy had a thought. "I'm so jealous."

"You want to start dating girls now?" Willow teased.

"No. You are dating. Those first butterflies and the excitement over every touch or kiss. And you will be with the sex having while I am here making time with Mr. Vibby.."

Willow raised her eyebrows. "Mr. Vibby?"

"I didn't say that," Buffy said a small guilty smile on her face.

"Right, I didn't hear it," Willow said. "But Buffy it will happen for you. Remember-one step at a time."

Buffy smiled. "Exactly"

* * *


	5. Questionable Chinese and Cookies Galore

_Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Gilmore Girls or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I make no money for these stories…. unfortunately._

* * *

Willow stared at her reflection in the mirror trying to figure out how she managed to get paler between her shower and her room. 

"You ok?" Dawn asked from her place at the end of Willow's bed. She was flipping through a magazine as she lay on her stomach.

Since she could remember (or from the memories that the monks stuck in her noggin') she loved watching people get ready for an evening out. She used to love watching her mom prepare.

"Sure, aside from the stomach butterflies that are threatening to kill me at any second," Willow said rubbing her stomach with her hands.

"You are going to be fine," Dawn, said, "You are, like, the perfect girl. She's going to see that if she's as great as you think she is."

Willow beamed. " You are the sweetest person in the world Dawnie, thank you." She was genuinely touched and for a whole minute she had forgot just how earth shatteringly nervous she was about tonight.

"Not a problem. You'll especially love what I have planned next," Dawn said, the excitement evident in her voice.

"Oh Dawn what did you do?" Willow asked.

Dawn jumped up from the bed, her magazine-now forgotten-fell to the floor. "Well I arranged something to make you feel extra special on your big night."

"Does this involve illegal drugs?" Willow asked hesitantly.

"Not that special," Dawn said rolling her eyes.

"Too bad, a nice buzz would have been nice," Willow muttered, tucking a piece of red limp hair behind her ear.

"Paranoia and nervousness? Would that be a good combination?" Dawn said sarcastically.

"I shutter to think," Willow answered. " My hair is completely and utterly crap. Body volumizer my patootie." She sulked with that old Willow pout.

"Well then you will really love my surprise," Dawn said seriously close to collapsing into giggles the way she was going Willow thought amused.

Dawn's infectious cheerfulness was starting to rub off on Willow and she was starting to get excited again. As if on cue the doorbell rang. Willow almost had a heart attack when she thought it might be Ashley arriving way too early….way too early, Willow's heart began to return to it's normal rhythm…she had an hour to go.

Dawn's smile grew even larger.

"Who is that?" Willow asked.

"It's a sur-prise," Dawn stressed as she turned and bounded down the stairs.

Definitely no more coffee for that girl, Willow thought. She heard a female voice join Dawn's and her interest was piqued.

Dawn returned to the room and Willow turned to find herself staring into a pair of familiar ice blue eyes. "Kate! Hi." Willow said awkwardly. Of all the surprises she didn't think she'd find herself staring at the diner girl.

"So Kate and I got to talking today while I was grabbing a snack at Luke's," Dawn explained leaving out the fact that she was actually there to catch a glimpse of Jess. " And it turns out that Kate worked for a photo studio in her old town and she used to do hair and makeup as well. So I told her that you had a hot date and she's here to beautify you. Not that you need it of course!" she blurted out, looking sheepish. " I mean that sometimes when you feel nervous if you over compensate the hotness factor and feel really good about yourself you calm down a little." She finished her rant weakly, looking up at Willow beneath her thick lashes (which was hard considering Dawn was still growing and taller than Willow)

"It's true," Kate agreed. That would explain the camera that she wore around her neck and the aluminum looking case she held in her hands, Willow thought piecing the puzzle together.

Willow looked between the two of them. "Well then thank you both very much."

"Alright," Kate said setting down her camera and opening her kit to reveal a wide variety of products.

"Wow, now I know what I want for Christmas," Dawn said in awe as she looked over the pretty jars of colors.

Kate led Willow to her chair and sat her down. "Are you going somewhere dark?" Kate asked.

"Why, do I look that bad?" Willow asked.

Kate laughed. "No, no it just helps me pick make up. I think I am going to give you a smoky look. It would make your eyes look gorgeous."

Kate was staring at Willow so intently that Willow feared she might start turning red again and ruin the job Kate had concealing the red marks on her face. Kate got to work talking to both Willow and Dawn as though they had all been friends forever. Kate, a self admitted recluse, found that she felt both comforted and happy to be here with these two girls feeling like she might have friends for the first time in her life.

Dawn watched from the end of the bed and talked feeling like she used to when she used to hang out with Willow and Tara. Kennedy never really let anyone else sit with her and Willow. Willow and Kennedy really enjoyed their alone time, or at least Kennedy did.

When Kate was done she let Willow see herself in the mirror. "Holy crap!" Willow exclaimed as she stared at her reflection.

"That's a good holy crap right?" Kate asked.

Willow's eyes were lined with black liner making them in such a way that made them appear heavy lidded, reminiscent of the 50's pin up girls. She also had a combination of light to dark purples across her lids making her eyes looking smoky all the way around. She looked sultry without appearing slutty. Willow pouted her lips, which were a lighter coral that looked plumper with a shiny lip-gloss.

"It is definitely good! Great! Fantastic!" Willow said, wrapping her arms around Kate in a hug. "Thank you so much."

Kate smiled as she hugged Willow back. It made her feel good that she could help her out.

Kate curled Willow's hair and twisted it back in a curly cornrow look that made it look raised at the crown of her head and then twisted it back and pinned it. There was a mass of curls pinned to the back of her head with a few tendrils hanging down making her look carefree and if she'd just woken up from a night of fabulous sex.

As Willow wrapped a curl around her finger, Kate snapped a picture capturing Willow unaware. The flash snapped Willow around in surprise. Kate smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, it was a hobby of mine and you look really great."

Dawn popped up from the bed, speechless until now. "Can you do my hair and make up and then you can take my picture?"

Kate smiled at the young girl. "Sure."

"Wait," Willow said, "I have no idea what to wear that will go with my face!"

"We'll help you," Dawn said.

If Kate weren't here Willow could have zapped herself something. After much deliberation they picked a white lace shirt that was low cut with a draping bell sleeve. Over top of the shirt she wore a black bustier that pushed her breasts up and ended just at her belly button so that the delicate lace of the shirt came out through the bottom.

Then she wore a black skirt that clung to her thighs than flowed close to the legs and ended just a few cms above her knee, with a slit down the side. Then to shake it up a bit Willow borrowed a pair of lace up crimson red stilettos from Buffy. (Buffy wasn't home at the time to consent but they all agreed it was what she would have wanted)

Kate had Willow pose with her hip cocked to the side, her arms behind her back and her chin tilted down with a pouty expression on her face. "Gorgeous!" Kate said as she snapped a few shots.

"You look so amazing," Dawn, said in awe.

"You really do," Kate agreed. "This is one lucky guy."

Willow and Dawn smiled a secret smile at each other. Kate frowned in confusion. "Did I miss something?"

"Willow is going out with a girl," Dawn said.

"I like people of the female persuasion," Willow said.

"Uh…gotcha," Kate said feeling embarrassed. "Sorry."

"No problem," Willow said. " Thank you so much for all this."

"It was fun," Kate said. "I hope you have a good time."

"Thanks," Willow said with a grin. She kissed Dawn's cheek, hugged Kate again and grabbed her purse before heading downstairs.

Dawn turned to Kate. " It's just us now. Popcorn?"

"Sounds good."

The girls headed downstairs together. Dawn linked her arm with Kate's. "So tell me Kate, how well do you know Jess?"

* * *

Lorelai held up a Chinese container to Rory. "What do you think?" 

Rory sniffed it. "Where is it from?"

"Friday?" Lorelai guessed.

"Last Friday?" Rory asked.

"A Friday in the not so distant past…"Lorelai said.

"Throw it out," Rory said.

"But…"

"Out!"

"Fine," Lorelai grumbled tossing it into the nearest trash bag.

"So it is alright if I come to work with you next week?" Rory asked.

Lorelai tossed something wrapped in plastic into the garbage. "Of course kid. I can't wait."

Rory smiled at her mother's absent mindedness. Although a holiday away from any kind of work would normally make a high school student ecstatic but Rory knew it wouldn't take long before she got really bored.

"Do we have plans with Dean this holiday?" Lorelai asked.

"Just the Christmas Party at the Inn, the rest is just day to day."

"Living life on the edge," Lorelai laughed. " How I envy the children of your generation."

"You had hippies and pot," Rory pointed out.

"True, though if you even mention the spandex I WILL disown you," Lorelai said pointing a moldy sandwich at her.

"Uh…ewwww…" Rory said, " that smells worse than the hamster you left at the pet store that time."

"That hamster was evil," Lorelai insisted.

"Well filling the cage with Kleenex wasn't exactly helping you make a new friend."

"That's it, you are no longer my daughter," Lorelai said.

"Now did you wear the spandex over or under the tube socks?" Rory asked with a big smile on her face.

"Hey!" Lorelai exclaimed.

"You were the one that disowned me," Rory pointed out.

"Hey I found the smelly culprit!" Lorelai said reaching into the back of the fridge.

"Wasn't the culprit the moldy sandwich?" Rory asked.

"No way," Lorelai said bringing out a second Chinese container and with it a wave of foul air. " This is the culprit. The moldy sandwich just got it all riled up!"

"Ewww…" Rory said again.

"Hey this is the container from the distant past which means the other container was fine," Lorelai said peeking into the garbage.

"Mom!"

"What!? I wasn't going to eat it" Lorelai protested.

"I know you mom. Oscar the grouch is your hero!" Rory said.

"He's all the time surrounded with food and a close by disposal service at all times." Lorelai said in awe.

"Sometimes I think you are the strangest individual," Rory said shaking her head.

"Well watch out," Lorelai warned. "It is genetic. I mean, look at your grandmother. If you have even an ounce of her in you, your life is going to be a tragic mess of strangeness."

"Point taken," Rory said pouring her mother and herself two cups of coffee. "I mean who else cleans their fridge at night when everyone knows it's a Sunday morning kind of chore."

"I work better at night," Lorelai answered.

"Are you avoiding Michel again?" Rory asked. " Is he trying that all cabbage diet again?"

No, not Michel, Lorelai thought. Try a pert blonde who seemed to take up way too much space in Lorelai's head lately.

"Just trying to get some stuff sorted," Lorelai said defensively.

Rory wasn't buying it. Something was bothering her mom. It also bothered her that Lorelai wouldn't talk to her about it considering they were so close. Hopefully in time, Lorelai would tell her.

"So did Luke ask you to tutor Jess?"Lorelai asked as she filled her bucket with soapy water and a dash of comet.

"Yes and thank you for warning me," Rory said sarcastically as she drew a bag of cookies towards her.

"Sorry kid, lot's of stuff going on up here," Lorelai said pointing to her head. "So what did you say?"

"I said yes," Rory burst out. "What else could I say? You gave me no warning and Luke was giving me the puppy dogs.

Lorelai looked at her daughter sympathetically. "Oh not the Luke Danes' puppy dog eyes."

Rory picked at a chocolate chip cookie. "I'm supposed to go over there tonight."

"How does Dean feel about this?" Lorelai asked. "Must have been hard trying to explain why you couldn't hang out Friday night."

Rory's eyes cast downwards. "Oh you mean the part where I had a chance to tell him and didn't?" she whispered.

"Oh hun," Lorelai sighed, throwing some comet on one of the shelves as she began to scrub.

"Well I will. It's not like there is anything secretive going on. " Rory said.

Lorelai wiped a piece of hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand. " Then why didn't you tell him?"

* * *

Willow sipped her strawberry zinfandel as she stared at Ashley who at that moment was doing the same thing. Both girls broke the silence with laughter. After the best date ever, Willow found herself back at Ashley's loft. She couldn't believe that Ashley had invited her over for a nightcap but after a perfect night the flow just seemed to lead her here. 

It was a night of great conversations, humor, lingering looks, touches and anticipation. Basically it felt like three hours of intense foreplay.

They'd seen a movie, had dinner and ended up here-shoes kicked off, curled up on the sofa with a fire keeping away the damp cold of the night. It was all perfect.

The sound of the wood crackling in the fire filled the loft along with the soft sounds of jazz coming from Ashley's stereo. The reflection of the flames danced across Ashley's face, casting shadows in the hollow of her high cheekbones.

Without thinking Willow reached out and traced the line of Ashley's cheekbone with the pad of her thumb. Their eyes stared into one another's as Willow then ran her thumb along Ashley's lower lip realizing it was just as soft as she had thought they would be.

Ashley parted her lips gently catching Willow's thumb in between her teeth.

Ashley released Willow's thumb and took Willow's glass from her and set them both on the glass coffee table. Ashley pushed a tendril of Willow's hair behind her ear.

Ashley cupped Willow's cheek as she lent forward. Their lips met gently at first briefly as if to give each other a way out if needed.

Then their lips touched again. Willow parted her lips while Ashley's moved confidently over hers.

Then the phone rang.

Ashley moaned into Willow's mouth as she raised herself up. "I'm so sorry. I have to get that."

Willow moaned in protest Ashley smiled seductively as she walked over to the phone. She paused a moment as the speaker talked and a funny look came over her face. She spoke in hushed tones and then pressed mute. This didn't look like a brief call.

Ashley shot her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I have to take this."

Willow figured this would happen. She got to her feet and slipped her shoes back on. She grabbed her wrap and walked towards Ashley. "No worries. I had a great time."

Ashley smiled. "Me too."

Willow kissed her one last time and then reluctantly left. "I'll call you."

But Ashley was already speaking in hushed tones on the phone. Willow wrapped her coat around her and left.

* * *

Dawn discarded the fifth shirt she'd tried on and threw it on the rapidly growing pile. She was bursting with excitement. Today in Mr. Myler's economics class she had been paired with none other than Jess as a partner. It was like fate had finally smiled on her. 

Jess had suggested that she come by the diner tonight to discuss their project briefly. She hadn't liked the briefly part but it didn't matter now. Maybe once they got talking they would go somewhere else to eat or go to the movies. It didn't matter Jess had asked to get together tonight! On a Friday! Sure she wasn't ms. Social gal but she knew that Friday was a huge deal among high schoolers.

She'd wanted to tell Willow all about it but she was too nervous about her actual date, and Buffy was working late at the Inn yet again…even Xander had gone out with a friend from the construction site.

She checked the mirror yet again, hoping that she'd finally found it. She chose a low cute light pink shirt that clung to her chest and a pair of low-rise jeans that did excellent things for her butt. She paired it with a funky belt and shook her hair loose, letting it fall around her shoulders in a slight bed head look. She did a once over, smiled at herself and then grabbed her coat.

As she walked, she wrapped her arms around herself wishing she'd gone for layers. The light of Luke's Diner lit up the street and she was happy to see that there weren't many people inside. More intimate, she thought happily as she swung the door open.

Luke looked up at her from the counter. "Hi. We are almost about to close if you want something from the kitchen you better order now."

"Ummm..Actually I am supposed to meet Jess."

"Oh?"He said, looking a little surprised. "Just a minute."

He yelled for Jess and moments later there he was. Dawn forced herself not to grin like an idiot and remain as though she was bummed about the assignment as he looked. And then she realized with horror that she had forgot to bring her books. Real smooth Dawn, she thought.

"Hey," he said in his non-committal way.

"Hey," she replied back.

Dawn twisted her hands together unsure of where to go from there. She'd hadn't thought this far. "I didn't bring my books," she said. "I spaced."

Jess shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Don't need them. Do you want a drink or something?"

A drink? Well it wasn't as committed to the evening as say, dinner, but it worked. She nodded. "Coke?"

Jess looked at Luke who rolled his eyes. "I'm your waiter now? Get the drinks yourself I am going upstairs."

Now they were really alone. Jess set her drink down in front of her and then took a seat across from her. "Thanks."

"Not a problem," he said.

He was so difficult to read, Dawn thought. "So what did you want to discuss?" Jess asked.

"Ummm..I don't know. We're supposed to pretend that we are just married and starting out," Dawn said keeping her voice as steady as possible. "So I guess we start with working."

"You aren't going to be one of those stepford wives are you?" Jess said, with a half smile that made Dawn's heart thump a little bit faster. It was the first time she'd seen the slightest smile.

"No way," Dawn said. "Pearls and the bee hive hair do was never really my thing. You aren't going to sit around and develop a beer gut are you?"

Jess laughed. "Sounds tempting."

"You are different from a lot of the girls at the school aren't you?" Jess asked suddenly.

Dawn smiled. "You mean with the whole outsider thing?" she asked.

"Hey, who wants to be one of the lemmings?" he asked. "We understand how it is right?"

She nodded, feeling a warm heat flush her cheeks. He was comparing her with him. They were alike and he saw it. He seemed to look over her shoulder for a moment and then reached out and took her hand. "Guess we will have to budget a wedding ring then?"

Dawn smiled. His warm hand squeezed hers. Then she heard a cough. She looked over her shoulder and there stood Rory.

"Hey," she said awkwardly.

"Hi," Dawn said, trying to remember where she'd seen this girl.

"Sorry, I thought that we were supposed to study?" Rory said, starting back towards the door.

Jess started to get out of her chair. "Why don't you come sit over here with us?" Jess asked.

"No thanks. I have work to do," Rory said. Was she jealous? Dawn wondered.

"Well we were just finishing," Jess said in a hurry.

Dawn's look of hurt clearly didn't register with Jess as he was looking at Rory. Finally his gaze found Dawn. "Sorry, I forgot that Rory was tutoring me tonight."

Dawn opened her mouth to say something and then closed it, shaking her head. How stupid could she be? "I see. Well no problem we can discuss this later," Dawn said, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice.

Rory looked at her sympathetically. "Sorry."

Dawn shrugged. Jess walked her over to the door, his hand on the small of her back. He was sending her mixed signals. "I'm sorry about this, but Luke is doggin' me to get better grades."

"Well you know, I could tutor you sometime?" Dawn suggested. "I mean we're already getting together for this project."

"Two birds with one stone huh?"He asked.

"Something like that."

He turned back to Rory. Dawn hated that look he gave her. "Well I will see you later."

Jess smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Bye"

And with that Dawn found herself standing out in the cold feeling like she had just been used and then tossed.

The hurt turned to anger which lead to embarrassment…and being embarrassed just turned her back to anger. Digging her hands in her pockets she turned and headed home with a plan in her head.

* * *

After Rory left to go tutor Jess and once she had cleaned and scrubbed the fridge, floor and counters Lorelai was starting to get pruny fingers. She was doing the cleaning dance of denial and she knew it. 

Because of one little dream she had disrupted her whole life. She had abandoned her work at the Inn and that made her sick. She was Lorelai Gilmore she ran that place and she always did a 100. Throwing on her coat, she grabbed her keys and headed back to the Inn. This craziness had to stop; she had a job to do.

Moments later her epiphany faded and she stared at the Inn and wondered if Buffy was inside. God lord Lorelai, get a grip. She turned off the ignition and headed up to the Inn. Everyone had turned in for the night. It was the time of day she loved being at the Inn the best. The busy coming and going was over and the Inn settled.

As Lorelai turned the corner she found Buffy. Buffy was sitting curled up on the couch a pad of paper resting in her lap and her head lying on the curve of her arm that was folded under her head. Her eyes were closed and her bangs had escaped from their pins and had fallen across her closed eyes.

Lorelai walked forward gently taking the pad from underneath Buffy's hand. Buffy stirred at the movement and her eyes snapped open. Lorelai jumped at the same time Buffy did. They both laughed.

"Sorry, I guess I fell asleep looking over the preparations for the wedding." Buffy apologized.

"Did Michel draft them?" Lorelai asked.

Buffy nodded. "That would explain the forty winks."

Buffy smiled. "Well more like twenty winks," she said. "I could go for some coffee."

Lorelai smiled. "I have just the cure. Sookie usually leaves a pot on for me when she goes home."

"Do you normally stay late?" Buffy asked.

Lorelai knew where this was headed but answered truthfully. " Yeah normally."

"I haven't seen you the past week," Buffy said. Yep, Lorelai knew it.

"Well I've had things to do at home." Mostly avoiding you, Lorelai thought again.

Buffy followed. In the kitchen they poured themselves a cup of coffee each and sat down at the stools surrounding the island. Lorelai pushed a plate of cookies between them and Buffy grabbed one gratefully realizing that she had skipped dinner and her stomach was unforgiving.

"We haven't really talked much since I started," Buffy said. "I'm I doing ok?"

"Yes, very good. It takes a load off my shoulders being able to count on someone else. I don't have to be running around so much." Lorelai smiled, nibbling a cookie. It was true, Buffy was a natural, and she couldn't believe that she hadn't done this type of work before. She seemed a natural.

"Are you ok?" Buffy asked hesitantly, making sure she came off seeming concerned and not too nosy. " Sookie told me that you haven't been feeling that well lately."

Lorelai twisted her ring around her finger. Way to go Sookie. "Yeah, I'm fine. Maybe a little tired lately. Nothing much."

"She sorta told me that you were engaged not too long ago."

"Well Sookie just doesn't know when to stop sharing does she?" Lorelai said, laughing awkwardly.

Buffy smiled. "I'm not trying to be nosy. I just understand about ending a relationship."

"Feels like the end of the world sometimes."

"Sometimes literally," Buffy muttered. Lorelai looked at her puzzled. Buffy just shrugged. "You know what I mean."

Lorelai smiled. "It just wasn't meant to be. I'm pretty much over it. Christmas just brings up those feelings of making you feel well aware that you are single."

"Stupid holiday," Buffy agreed.

"Stupid men," Lorelai shot back laughing.

"Sometimes I think it would be so much easier just to give up men and follow suite of my best friend and become a lesbian."

The cookie Lorelai was eating lodged in her throat and she coughed, cookies spraying everywhere as her eyes widened. Buffy's eyes widened in alarm as she ran to behind Lorelai, patting her back. "Are you ok?"

Lorelai gulped down some water, wiping away the tears that had starting to form. "It wasn't a come on," Buffy said quietly.

And then, for no reason, Lorelai started to laugh. She started to laugh so hard at the ridiculousness of the past few days and it felt good. Buffy seemed startled at first but the giggles were infectious and soon she was laughing too. Lorelai's stomach began to ache with the laughter and the giggles subsided.

"I haven't laughed like that in awhile," Lorelai admitted.

"Same here," Buffy said. Then she reached out and touched Lorelai's cheek. Lorelai felt a jolt go through her.

"Cookie," Buffy explained, wiping her hand on the back of her jeans.

Lorelai grinned as they stared at each other. "Well, there's nothing like a near death accident to make you tired."

"Don't I know it," Buffy said, grinning at her own joke.

Together they walked to their separate cars. Buffy started hers and waved as she pulled out. Lorelai pulled her keys from her bag. "Hey!"Came a voice.

She turned towards the speaker and felt a pain rush through the side of her face and then everything went black.

* * *

Light began to filter through the cracks in her eyelids. It was too bright even with her eyes closed. She could faintly hear the sounds of voices around her but couldn't tell whose they were. 

Then the pain came. It felt like her right eye had exploded in her head and it throbbed. She swam in the waves of pain not knowing if they would stop or just get worse until she passed out again.

Slowly she tried to open her eyes again but only saw a fog…and the blurry image of figures.

She thought she heard someone say vampire and frowned. Was she going insane?

"Lorelai? Are you awake?" came a soft voice.

Lorelai turned towards the speaker. "Buffy?"

"Yeah, it's me. Are you ok?"

"W…what happened?" Lorelai asked, taking a while to work the words out.

"You fell," Buffy explained.

That didn't seem right. She'd fallen a million times and it had never caused this much pain.

"You must have slipped on some ice," Buffy said. "You hit your head pretty hard but the doctor says you don't have a concussion so that's good."

"Doctor?"

"Yeah. You were there for a bit. You were in and out. I got you home though," Buffy said.

Lorelai's vision cleared and she saw Buffy sitting beside her on her bed and a red headed girl standing behind her. "Hi, I'm Willow." She said introducing herself.

"Sorry, I am not at my best," Lorelai laughed weakly. Then she remembered something. "I thought I heard someone say something to me first."

Buffy looked up at Willow. Lorelai couldn't see her expression. "Umm..That was a customer. He wanted to know how to turn the heat up." Buffy lied.

Lorelai was too tired and sore to question it further. She just nodded. Buffy gave her some pills and her eyes became heavy soon after.

Buffy got to her feet slipping back into her coat. She held her finger over her lips motioning for Willow to be quiet.

Once outside the house Willow turned to Buffy. "Did you see it?"

Buffy nodded gravely. "Vampire."

"And?"

"Dust now. My first in a couple of weeks. Just like riding a bike." Buffy said as she unlocked the doors.

"So obviously Lorelai isn't in on it," Willow pointed out.

"She has nothing to do with what's coming," Buffy agreed, "but this does mean that something is coming. We're in the right place."

As the engine roared to life Willow added weakly. "Yay."

* * *

As Dawn lay in bed, she listened to the voices of Buffy, Willow and Xander die down as their movie began. They'd invited her, but she wanted to be alone. 

She lay now under her comforter staring up at her ceiling unable to think of anything but Jess. She thought of the way his eyes smoldered into hers and the way his lips curled up in that half smile she loved so much.

She imagined a scenario. She was in her room like she was now, and Jess burst in. He didn't say a word as he walked over to her and grabbed her. The image brought a bittersweet smile to her face as she imagined the kiss he would give her. The way he would be unable to stop himself. He would want her the way she wanted him. It would be just like the movies.

As she lay there she began to feel the sadness well over her at the fact that it was her imagination kissed her, instead of Jess. She wanted him so bad that the need of it began to wash over her in waves taking away the satisfaction that she had briefly clung too.

She opened her eyes and stared at the object hidden in her closet that would hopefully change all that. As soon as she had got home she had gone into willow's closet (where she knew she held her stash) and there it was…the book that would change everything tomorrow. Tomorrow Jess would want her like she wanted him. She clung to that image as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.


	6. Hocus Pocus We Need to Focus Pt 1

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I claim no rights to copyrighted material. I do not own any characters and make no money from these stories

* * *

Dawn stood under the hot spray of the shower, hoping that the (almost uncomfortably) hot jets would wash away some of her anxiety. Last night she had done something that this morning, in the light of day, made her a little nervous.

Last night she had cast a spell. It was a lust spell. She went for lust instead of love just in case anything went wrong…figuring this balanced her in the cosmic scales…she wasn't making anyone fall for her against their will. She just wanted Jess to want her like she wanted him. Besides he was a guy… didn't they always want it? Not that she'd have sex with him…well, she wasn't completely decided against it, but it felt a little weird to have sex with someone that was under a spell.

She washed her hair with her favorite shampoo letting the warm fragrance of vanilla drift through the steamy bathroom. Dawn had cast the spell at exactly midnight last night (Sat night/Sun morn), which meant that the spell wouldn't take affect until noon this afternoon (Sunday)…12 hours from the time it was cast. It would last until midnight tonight. This meant that it wouldn't affect school, and should be easier to get him alone.

The only thing she had left to do was make sure she was with him at exactly noon, or it wouldn't work. Luckily she had read again on Friday night, and called him Saturday morning to schedule a meeting-all he had to do was show up. At that possibility, the butterflies came again. What if he didn't show? What would happen then?

Dawn turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a robe. She couldn't allow any negative thoughts in right now. The sun was up when she emerged from the bathroom and went into her room. She had been up at the crack of dawn (no pun intended) unable to sleep. She felt like a horny girl on Christmas morning. She giggled at this thought as she exchanged the towel for her robe.

Dawn crossed her legs and brushed out her hair as she stared out the window at the snow-covered lawns, untouched by footprints, car tracks or plows. Untouched…just like herself. She smiled as she touched the tiny blue stone that sat on her bedside table. She must carry the stone with her at all times. The stone was infused with the magic of the spell.

Dawn had also done all the other preparations that one young girl must take when she is about to have a guy lust for her. She'd spent the better part of the morning shaving, using scented bath wash and rubbing her body with scented lotion. The smell of vanilla surrounded her-her favorite scent, and a scent that Buffy told her men loved. If anyone should know, Buffy would.

She placed some gold body dust lightly over her body giving her a bronze glow that highlighted her curves. Everything was a step towards confidence for her. Every layer was crucial. Her underwear was even carefully thought out. She had saved up money from the allowance that Buffy gave her and yesterday she had bought a black lace bra and black lace panties to go with it.

Next came black leather pants and a crimson red low cut, tight fitting sweater. Dawn blow dried her hair and wrapped it in hot rollers before heading downstairs to get some breakfast.

Xander was already up sitting on top of the island with a bowl of cereal perched in his open palm. He paused mid scoop when Dawn walked into the kitchen. The milk poured off his spoon into the bowl as his mouth froze in the 'O' position. Dawn tried to play it cool as though she hadn't noticed but inside she was pleasantly pleased with the reaction. If a "big brother" type could look at her in that kind of awe then what would other males think.

"Good morning," she said reaching for a coffee mug with one hand and the pot of coffee with the other.

"Uh..mornin'?" Xander said, pointing at her with his spoon hand. "Though isn't that more of a night outfit?"

Dawn made a face as she poured her coffee. "Well I plan on wearing it until tonight. Does that count?"

"Has Buffy seen you?" Xander asked.

"No. She is still sleeping. She works at the Inn late every night." Dawn walked over the dining room table, sitting across from where Xander sat. "Besides I am almost eighteen now Xander. Last year of high school and all that."

Xander stared down at his cereal. "I am so old."

"23 isn't old," Dawn said. "I just wish people would stop treating me like a kid. Just because I am younger…doesn't automatically make me a kid."

"You'll always be a kid to me Dawn. We all think that way, it's hard to think of you all growed up." He said with his usual goofy Xander grin that Dawn loved. He had been much happier since living here. After Anya died, he'd gone into a depression in Rome. Supposedly she'd told some pretty horrific stories of her old vengeance days in Rome…how that made him miss her more was odd, but Dawn understood. In their lives, someone to love and to love you was a comfort that you tried to hold onto for as long as possible.

"So what are you up to today Dawnster?" Xander asked between bites.

"Well I am supposed to meet Jess at the Inn to work on our project."

Xander grinned nodding his head along with whatever deranged thought was running through his head.

"What?!" Dawn said annoyed. "What!?!?!"

"Nothing."

"Fine…" Dawn said continuing. " I am going to meet Buffy first to-"

"Dawnie's in luuuuuve.." Xander sing songed.

Dawn rolled her eyes. " Anyway, I am going to meet Buffy first. Buffy and them are going meeting up to plan the Christmas party and I thought I would help out. What are you doing?"

"Well I will be going too," Xander said. "Gotta check this guy out."

Now it was Dawn's turn to drop her jaw in shock. "Xander!"

"Relax. I am going to help hang decoration. Willow is going to. We will leave you lovers alone."

Dawn traced the line of the wood on the table with the point of her finger as she let that term drift through her head. If only it were true. "He isn't my lover Xand. Actually I am pretty sure he's got it bad for Rory. Lorelai's daughter."

Xander shook his head. "Maybe, but with a girl like you after him? What guy could resist?"

"You'd be surprised," Dawn muttered.

"Oh come on. You are a beautiful girl. He'd be lucky to have you."

"Thanks big brother," Dawn said sarcastically.

"Or get in your pants cause you're smoking!" Xander said.

Dawn laughed. "Thanks. Much better now."

Xander dropped his dish in the sink. "Not a problem. That's what I am here for."

Xander bent to kiss the top of her head before he handed upstairs for his shower. The gesture was just what you'd expect someone to do to a child and yet that kind of gesture from Xander always made her feel special.

* * *

As Willow's eyes opened her first thoughts were of the dream she'd just left. It was the best dream she'd had in a while and she desperately tried to hold on to it as she closed her eyes again. She moaned in defeat as the last images faded away into the back of her mind. Just thinking of her again made Willow yearn like she hadn't in a long time. That girl would be the end of her. After their first date, Ashley had called the next day and apologized for the interruption but promised to make it up to her tonight.

If Willow played her cards right she'd have a girlfriend for the holidays. Just one more week of school and then the holidays would begin and she was going to make sure she had pockets full of mistletoe everywhere she went.

* * *

Finally she got out of bed and headed for the shower. She promised Buffy she'd go to the Inn and hang Christmas decorations even though she was Jewish…however Xander had promised to do the snoopy dance if she showed. It was worth it, she thought as she turned on the shower.

Kate wrapped herself in a towel as she stepped from the shower wishing she had a robe to wrap herself in. She had cranked up the heat before sprinting to the warmth of the shower and prayed that it had warmed the loft already. Waking up freezing was not fun and she would have to remember to buy herself a robe one of these days.

As she stepped from the bathroom she froze in shock as she found herself staring at Luke. In her shock she briefly let the towel slip an inch lower giving a shocked Luke a view of the rise of her breasts under the towel. "LUKE!!"

"SORRY…sorry. I…sorry," he stuttered holding his hand over his eyes.

"God!" Kate said, clutching her rapidly falling towel. Every time she grabbed our shifted her skin was becoming more and more exposed. Finally she covered herself again. "Ok, it's alright. I'm good."

Luke turned to look at the wall as if checking the woodwork. "I am really sorry. You told me you wanted me to wake you and you weren't answering so I just thought you were asleep… I knocked."

"The delivery at the Inn!" Now she remembered. "Sorry Luke I guess I forgot."

"Well Sookie is taking time off with the baby. I was going to bring lunch to them, I can do it myself."

"No, no no. It's fine. I want to help. I just totally forgot. Just give me a few mins while I get dressed and I will be over in a minute."

"Dressed. Right. Sorry," he apologized again.

Kate smiled at his turned back. "Don't worry about it. It is totally fine."

"Ok. Right. I'll get the food cooking and you'll meet me over there later."

Kate laughed as soon as the door closed behind me. For such a rugged man he had acted like he was 14 years old and caught with his stash of playboy.

* * *

Lorelai poured, what had to be, her fifth cup of coffee that morning as she looked over the plans for the annual Christmas party. This year had gone so much smoother with Buffy helping out. The two women sat across from each other in the dining room as they discussed some finishing ideas for the event.

"I love the Inn this time of year," Lorelai said. "All the wreaths, bows and boughs of holly."

"Fa la la la la…la la la la," Buffy finished.

Lorelai laughed. "Exactly. I love Christmas."

"Me too," Buffy agreed, "though, as a rule I try not to invest to much in holidays. They have a potential to bite the big one when I do that. Especially birthdays. Buffy birthdays tend to be a no no."

"Oh, why's that?" Lorelai asked.

Buffy stalled. "Umm..You know. The whole expectations thing. Parties going awry.." The whole undead trying to kill me all the time, she added silently.

Lorelai nodded. "Lots of hassle I guess."

"Yeah." Buffy trailed off.

"Well around here holidays are big spectacles. You'll pick up on that and if it doesn't annoy you I'm sure you'll find the spirit early on. If not, I keep a bottle of a different kind of spirit under the reception desk at all times. Makes things a little cheerier."

Buffy laughed. "I'll make sure I stick close to the gal with the alcohol then."

How close will that be, Lorelai thought before catching herself.

"So how is the bump?" Buffy asked.

At the mention of the accident, Lorelai gingerly touched the bump on her head, which was almost gone already. "It's ok. Been a little head achy the past couple of days but that may also have something to do with the stuff we have to get sorted for this party."

"It won't be a problem," Buffy assured her. "We have a lot of stuff worked out. Just tiny little tasks to do."

"You're absolutely right," Lorelai agreed. " I have to stop worrying."

Just then Dawn, Willow and Xander showed up and official introductions were done. Lorelai pointed Xander and Willow to the boxes and ran over the plan while Dawn took a seat in the dining room and checked her watch every five minutes.

* * *

Dawn closed her eyes holding her breath and then letting it out slowly, counting the seconds in her head as she dared herself not to dart at the clock. Why was time going so agonizingly slow?!

She touched her pocket to make sure the blue stone was still there, and it was. She moved her books around on the table for the millionth time as if organizing them a certain way would make Jess miraculously appear.

The traffic was slow, so every time she heard the door open she spun her head around so hard she was sure she'd break it eventually. The door opened again as a cold blast came in with it…Dawn turned, slower this time, but was met with disappointment again when it was just Kate and Luke. Luke? If Luke was here. Her heart jumped in her throat as she tried to calm herself. The door closed and no one else entered.

Dawn got to her feet and went over to Luke and Kate who booked it to the kitchens holding huge paper bags of food. Dawn caught the swinging door and waited until Luke had set the bags down before speaking. "Is Jess with you?"

Luke spun around. 'Pardon?"

"Jess," Dawn said, her impatience starting to show. "Did he come with you? He was supposed to meet me here to work on our project."

Kate flashed her a sympathetic smile as Luke continued to look confused. "No he didn't come with me. He said he was working with Rory today."

The mention of Rory's name made her feel like someone had just wrapped their fingers around her heart and squeezed. And then the panic hit…it wasn't going to happen. The spell would be useless. Jess wouldn't be with her at noon and he wouldn't lust for her. It was all for nothing. The planning, the worry, the careful selection of everything…all of it was for nothing.

"Dawn?" Kate said quietly, touching her shoulder gently.

"What? Oh sorry," Dawn said absentmindedly; her thoughts all over the place. "I'm going to go get started on the project."

"Jess is forgetful," Luke offered, "He isn't exactly a stickler with time. He will probably show up later."

Yes, but later wasn't noon. It was over. Dawn smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. She nodded and left the kitchen.

As she walked past Xander and Willow as they hung the bough of holly over the doorway Dawn dropped the stone into the garbage can. It was over now. She'd have to try something new. Or just give up.

* * *

"That was not how Paul hung the holly last year," Michel said disdainfully as he eyed the job that Willow and Xander were doing.

Buffy walked up to Michel and offered a box of donuts. "Want one Michel?"

"Ah no," he said wrinkling his nose. "Do you know how many steps I would have to do on my step machine to work off one of those frosted cover heart attack cakes?"

"That means no in crazy person language," Lorelai told her with a smile.

"Gotcha."

Buffy carried the boxes over the others. Michel sighed. "How does she stay so thin when she eats so much," he said bitterly. "Et is not fair."

Lorelai looked at him shaking her head in amusement as he watched Buffy look over the donuts. Willow was watching Xander hang the boughs. Dawn held the ladder as it wobbled under the weight of him as he tried to adjust it to Michel's specifications.

"Do you polish the balls like Michel asked?" Willow asked.

Xander grinned. "Really not a sentence I'd ever hear you say…"

"Xander!"Willow groaned.

"Yeah, yeah. So shiny I can see myself. My scary, small headed slightly egg shaped self. So we're all good."

Lorelai was watching Michel in amusement as he watched Buffy who was trying to pick which donut to devour next, and Willow and Dawn were watching Xander as he hung the boughs; who was now enthralled with his reflection and as Luke and Kate entered the room speaking to one another…no one was looking at the clock that had just struck 12 noon.

And at that moment the eight people in the room had formed a circle without knowing it. Blue smoke rose from the garbage can where the blue stone lay. It spiraled up around and around and then broke into eight streaks of light that struck the hearts of all eight members.

As the old clock in the entry struck the twelfth chime…the spell was cast.

* * *

To be Continued… 


	7. Hocus Pocus We Need To Focus Pt2

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Gilmore Girls or Buffy (unfortunately), I make no money for these stories.

A/N: Here is part two of Hocus Pocus. I was having too much fun with this chapter so it is going to be more than two parts. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Lorelai was watching Michel in amusement as he watched Buffy who was trying to pick which donut to devour next, and Willow and Dawn were watching Xander as he hung the boughs; who was now enthralled with his reflection and as Luke and Kate entered the room speaking to one another…no one was looking at the clock that had just struck 12 noon.

And at that moment the eight people in the room had formed a circle without knowing it. Blue smoke rose from the garbage can where the blue stone lay. It spiraled up around and around and then broke into eight streaks of light that struck the hearts of all eight members.

As the old clock in the entry struck the twelfth chime…the spell was cast.

* * *

The stream of light momentarily stunned the group, knocking them a little off balance. Xander stumbled on the ladder; flailing his arms in a futile attempt to stay on the ladder. Willow and Dawn cried out, reaching out to stop him but their fingers just brushed him as he fell to the ground with a hard thump! He grimaced in pain, but his eyes remained closed.

Willow dropped to her knees beside him, throwing her upper half over him. "Xander! Oh god Xander, open your eyes."

Dawn dropped to her knees on the other side. "He just got the wind knocked out of him. He's ok." She said, checking for any visible injuries.

"I think he needs CPR," Willow cried, already tilting his head back.

"He is breathing Willow," Dawn said as she rolled her eyes. " He doesn't need CPR."

Willow looked disappointed. "Oh." She sat back on her heels, her hands folded in her lap.

Dawn cupped Xander's shoulder shaking him a little to rouse him. "Open your eyes Xand."

Willow smacked her hand away. "Don't touch him. He could be concussed!"

"That's not even a word!" Dawn said, rubbing her sore hand. "And did you just hit me!?"

"Well you could have caused further injuries!" Willow protested. "It's a well known facts that ignorant treatment of the victum can lead to further damage."

"He fell like… a foot. Calm down!" Dawn said

"Maybe we should lift and put him on the couch," Willow wondered out loud.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Fine. Buffy could you…"

Dawn turned to her sister …only to find her staring dreamily at a donut, her chin rested in her open palm.

"Uh, Buffy? A little help." Dawn said, louder this time.

"This," Buffy began dreamily. "It is- like- the most perfect donut in the whole world."

"Uhhh….alright. You have fun with that," Dawn said. Had everyone gone nuts?

Dawn put her hands under Xander's arms and began to heave him up while Willow grabbed his legs. "Ummm…Luke?" Dawn said over her shoulder. "Could you…oh my god!" Dawn dropped Xander in surprise and he hit the floor again. Willow yelled a curse at her but Dawn was staring at Luke who was making out with Kate in a way that was starting to make her fantasies look mundane.

"Now, even I know I was too young to see that," Dawn muttered, as she held her hand over her eyes.

"Xander? You're ok. Thank god!" Willow exclaimed clutching his hand to her chest.

"What happened?" Xander asked looking around him.

"You fell," Willow explained. " I would have caught you but Dawn was in the way."

"Hey!" Dawn protested, frowning at her. What the hell was going on around here?

Xander jumped to his feet and took off for the opposite side of the room. He stopped at the entranceway in front of the mirror. "Oh thank god," he said with relief, " I didn't injure my face."

Dawn planted her hands on her hips. "What was that now?"

Xander turned to her. "My face. I could have bruised. Skin like this bruises easily you know."

"I think you injured your head," Dawn said shaking her head.

"What?! Where? My hair?" Xander said with worry as he ran his fingers over his hair.

Dawn sunk down on the couch holding her head in her hands. She was starting to feel like she'd just stepped into crazy land. Willow walked up behind Xander and starting massaging his shoulders cooing in his ear about how she'd been so worried and that she didn't see anything wrong with his "beautifully sculpted" face.

Kate and Luke were locked in an embrace kissing and caressing to the point where Dawn felt there should be an R rating on this scene. And Buffy was enthralled with pastry. At least Michel and Lorelai looked fine.

Dawn walked over to Lorelai who was writing something on a pad of paper. "Lorelai did you notice that Luke and Kate are making out?" Dawn asked.

"How nice for them," Lorelai said, her brow furrowed in concentration.

"What are you doing?" Dawn asked trying to look over her shoulder.

"I'm writing a letter," Lorelai said as if it were obvious. "Now shhhh…."

"Who is the letter to?" Dawn asked.

"Michel," she whispered, a sly smile on her face.

"Uh, well. The art of letter writing is always a good thing," Dawn said slowly, as if the words she was speaking caused her disbelief. " But he is, like, two feet away from you."

Lorelai looked at her as if she were nuts. " It's a love letter," Lorelai explained.

"A love letter?! To Michel? Are you kidding me?" Dawn whispered as loudly as she could.

Lorelai looked to Michel to make sure he hadn't heard and then turned back to Dawn looking annoyed. "Yes to Michel."

"Why?" Dawn asked.

"Because I love him," Lorelai said, "Really, Dawn think."

"But…it's Michel. You don't even seem to like him that much."

"Well no." Lorelai said, considering that. "But sometimes it hits you I guess."

"Well…I…alright." Dawn stammered.

Lorelai put down her pen and turned to Dawn conspiratorially with a secret smile on her pretty face. "It's weird because at times I doubted his sexual orientation but then again I've been doubting mine recently so I guess it doesn't really matter." Lorelai rambled unaware that Dawn was staring at her with her mouth open.

"What?!" Dawn asked again louder this time.

"Now go play over there or something. I have to finish this." Lorelai said turning her back and returning to her love letter.

Dawn turned back to Luke and Kate and tapped him on the shoulder. "Do you think you guys could like...concentrate for a minute here. Something is weird."

Luke and Kate broke apart breathing heavily. Kate straightened her shirt. "Hey kid, what's up?" she asked, smoothing her hair back into place.

"What's up? What's up?!" Dawn said nearing panic. "Have you looked around this room? Look at what is going on! Willow and Xander, Lorelai writing love letters, you and Luke going at it like rabbits, and ….is Michel playing with Buffy's hair?"

Kate giggled as she wrapped her arms around Luke's neck and pulled him back for a kiss. Dawn marched over to Michel and slapped his hand. "What are you doing?"

"Ouch. You crazy girl," Michel said. "I was just asking what shampoo Buffy was wearing. She smells so delicious."

"I do have great smelling hair," Buffy said dreamily.

"What is your childhood trauma," Dawn demanded. Taking the donut out of Buffy's hand. "It's a pastry."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Give that back Dawnie."

Michel took Buffy's hand. "I would love to feed you donuts by the fire," he said smoothly. "I cannot eat them for it goes to my hips, but you are a goddess."

Buffy finally noticed he was there. "What? Go away," she said.

Michel looked hurt. " Have I offended you? I will get you your donut back," he said, getting to his feet.

Dawn backed away. " Get away from me."

"Give me the pastry and no one gets hurt," Michel said.

"Buffy listen to me," Dawn said," something is happening. Can't you feel it?"

"I feel you getting on my last nerve," Buffy said.

Dawn tossed the donut back on the table and turned away. Ok, ok, calm down Dawn she told herself. You can figure this out. Her foot hit the garbage can and she cursed as a pain shot up her leg. The garbage can tipped and the items fell out over the floor.

"Shit," Dawn muttered as she dropped to her knees. As she collected the trash her fingers brushed over the stone that lay between the papers. Only now it was white instead of blue, the way it would appear after the spell was cast. But the spell didn't work, she thought, Jess wasn't here.

And then with a horrifying clarity she turned and looked at what was unfolding around her and tried to calm herself as she pieced it together. If the spell had worked the way it should have; then she had to have Jess looking at her, she had to be the first thing he saw as the clock struck 12.

Luke and Kate had been looking at each other as they entered the room; Lorelai must have been looking at Michel and Michel looking at Buffy; Buffy was eating donuts; Xander had been staring at his reflection in the silver bells and both her and Willow had been staring at Xander…only she hadn't been affected because she wasn't meant to.

That meant she was alone in this. The spell was only supposed to last to midnight tonight. If only it were that easy though. They would all remember this. They were doing (in Luke and Kate's case) and might do something that they would regret and it would be her fault. They might not know that, but Buffy, Willow and Xander would know it was a spell. With all the spells cast she should have realized that they very rarely worked out.

Ok, think Dawn said to herself. Think. Maybe she could get home and rework this spell somehow. She wished she had read ahead further about how to reverse the spell but she was expecting to have Jess well on his way to third base by now so she hadn't thought about that. The only one who could help her was Willow.

Taking a deep breath she walked over to Willow who was still fawning over Xander. Dawn grabbed onto her arm gently as if she were about to tell her a big secret. "Willow, I really need to talk to you."

"Ok Dawnie," Willow said her eyes still on Xander.

"Alone," Dawn said trying to keep her voice calm. As long as she stayed calm she could try and talk some sense into these people.

Willow frowned. "Um..ok. But just for a moment." Then she turned to Dawn with a huge smile on her face. " Xander is going to let me comb his hair."

"Oh my god that is so great!" Dawn said with fake enthusiasm as she pulled her away, but not too far away.

"Ok. Now I am going to tell you something and you have to listen to me and not freak out…promise?" Dawn said.

"Oh my god!" Willow said.

"Ok, now that's freaking out!" Dawn said, feeling her calm melt away.

"Xander said something about me didn't he? He doesn't like me? Or he's not over Anya. I knew it. You know I was better for him than Anya ever was. First of all I never had an irrational fears over rabbits…or Cordy, she was a huge snob. I was always there for him. I am a lesbian for Christ's sake-and still I am willing to work through that!" Willow rambled.

If this situation weren't worsening Dawn would have laughed at the craziness of it all. "No it isn't that at all."

"Oh ok. Geez don't scare me." Willow said laughing in relief.

"Ok. Now remember Jess," Dawn said and waited until Willow nodded. " Well I sorta cast a spell to make him fall for me. But only for 12 hours! Only he never showed so I threw the stone in that garbage can over there in the same room with the eight of us. And I guess the spell worked, I mean- I know the spell worked. Only it affected the seven of you. You each fell in love with the person or thing you were staring at."

Willow took a moment to digest that information. "You cast a spell! Dawnie they never work. Especially love spells."

"Yeah, I know. But that's not really the issue."

"Right." Finally she looked around her at what was unfolding. " Wow, I think you're right."

Dawn sighed with relief. "Oh thank god."

Willow turned back to look at Xander as he groomed himself. "What I wouldn't do to get a piece of that," she sighed.

"Willow you're a lesbian!" Dawn pointed out.

"I wasn't always!" Willow snapped and then as if she'd just heard a recording of herself played back, her eyes widened in surprise. " I think I may have been affected from the spell."

"Ya think?" Dawn said, and then calmed herself down because this was all her fault. "I am so sorry."

"Yeah me too. Cause a spell that causes me to relieve my old feelings for Xander doesn't really feel like a fun time," Willow said.

Dawn stared down at the ground. "I know. I didn't think Willow. I was obsessed with Jess and I just thought…"

"I get it," Willow assured her. "It's a little against the norm, but I get it."

"So what do you do know?" Dawn asked.

"First things first. You have got to make sure I stay away from Xander because I am already going to regret a lot of what I just said to him."

"What did you say?" Dawn asked.

"Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me," Willow said without missing a beat. "Now is this a lust or love spell?"

"Ummm…lust," Dawn thought. "Yeah it was more lust than love. I just wanted Jess to want me."

"Right. Ok. That's a good thing. Love spells tend to turn dangerous. Probably why I am talking to you calmly about this and not over there riding Xander like a cowgirl…"

"Ewww…"Dawn said.

"Sorry, but these thoughts are incredible hot," Willow said. "You are going to have to be patient with me. This could get worse. I mean I sensed something happened and even as I thought and said stuff it felt strange but like I was very far away. Maybe it's because I am a witch that I can break from it a little. I don't know but we have to figure something out Dawn. Especially in Luke and Kate's case cause…damn."

Dawn went to look over but Willow covered her eyes and pulled her away. "Ok. You go get Luke and I will get Kate."

Dawn grabbed her arm. "Wait. How? They are into some serious dry humping-not that I know what that is by the way-and I don't want to touch Luke when he's all…'happy'."

"Magic," Willow said.

"Magic? But there are…civilians," Dawn said for lack of a better word.

"Normally an issue ms ' I cast a spell that had everyone lusting for each other'…but sorta not an issue right now."

Willow froze the room. Then she separated Kate and Luke and gently levitated Luke until he was inside the broom closet and then Dawn shut and locked the door. Before Willow unfroze the room Dawn told her to wait while she ran over to Kate and re did her shirt buttons before letting Willow continue. "Wanted to give her some dignity."

Willow looked over at Xander and with a flick of her wrist his shirt flew off, Willow ran over and ran her hands up and down his chest, planting a kiss on his mouth. Dawn turned her face to the wall. "Willow!"

Willow finished what she was doing and returned to Dawn. "If you don't let me let it out in bursts it will pent up. Calm down, it's not like he's getting any."

Dawn nodded her head. Not like she could disagree with that. Willow replaced his shirt before unfreezing the room.

"Luke?" Kate said looking frantically around her.

"He had to go out and get you something," Dawn explained.

"He's so sweet that way," Kate said as she rubbed her fingertips over her swollen lips. Totally unaware that he had disappeared in the blink of a second.

Willow looked at Dawn. "This is going to be a long afternoon."

Dawn nodded. "So we wait it out?"

"Let me just try to work this out. You sit here and watch and I am going to go try and meditate on this. Speak to the goddesses see if I can work this out. And being out of range of Xander would really help about now."

Dawn nodded. "Ok. Great. Thanks Will. And sorry."

Willow smiled weakly. "We'll talk about this later. Buffy will have something to say. Those donuts are going to go right to her thighs."

Dawn smiled. "She doesn't seem to be eating them, so much as admiring them."

Willow gave her a look. "Right go. I'll watch."

Willow gave her shoulder a squeeze and then exited the room. Dawn walked over to one of the couches and lay down. She hadn't slept much last night and now her eyes were starting to grow heavy.

* * *

Willow lay on one of the beds in the empty rooms. She had tried several times unsuccessfully to end the spell. It was cast by another person with such a degree of inconsistencies that she couldn't find the line of it. All magic casts a trail that you could pinpoint, but this one was impossible to find.

The only thing she could do was cast a spell that would keep all the guests in their rooms and to keep the Inn locked so that none of those affected could get out. The magic had tired her and the constant stream of naughty thoughts concerning Xander was starting to grate.

Just then she heard the door open and she peeked out beneath the pillow she'd thrown over her head at the intrusion. Xander. He didn't seem to notice her as he walked into the bathroom.

"Xander?" Willow called out. "What are you doing?"

"This room has better lighting. I found some facial cream that I want to use. I really have to start taking better care of myself."

"I think you look fine. But I don't think you should be here," Willow said her voice verging on desperation. Please, please leave.

"You think I look ok?" Xander asked.

"God yes," Willow breathed, her heart beginning a frantic dance inside her ribcage. Women, women, breasts…not penis' she kept thinking.

Xander seemed pleased with this. "You were always there for me Will."

"I know. But you shouldn't be here."

"You don't think I should change my hair or anything?" Xander asked his reflection. "No, it's great just the way it is. I've been working out you know. Want to feel?"

Willow felt her knees start to buckle as she clutched the doorframe as if it were the only solid object in a spinning room. "Xander?"

"You want me don't you?" Xander asked. " It doesn't surprise me really. I'm one hell of a looker."

"I am going to totally ignore that you just said the word looker," Willow said as she threw herself into his arms.

Xander grabbed her around the waist and lifted her against him. Willow cried out as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their mouths met in a battle as they kissed each other fervently.

Xander walked them into the adjoining room and they fell in a heap onto the bed. Willow ripped the shirt off him, clutching onto him. "Do you want me?" Xander whispered in her ear.

. "Yes!" Willow cried. No, bad Willow. Say No. Run away. Run very fast, away.

Suddenly she felt her shirt being yanked from her body. Crying out in surprise, she attempted to cover herself. Maybe I could just give in, she thought. Maybe just for a little bit and stop just before anything is removed…or inserted. Sure, she wasn't sexually attracted to men anymore, but Xander wasn't just any guy. Xander was Xander. Her Xander. She had loved him forever, who could blame her if some part of her wanted to give in. There was always a curiousity there. And this just felt oddly right.

Willow clutched her hands into his hair tugging gently. Xander arched his head back, his mouth open in pain. "Watch the hair Will!

That did it. "Oh my god," Willow said in horror. She clutched her shirt to her chest and sat up knocking him off her.

"What's wrong?" Xander said.

Willow held up her hand freezing him. "What the fuck am I doing?" Willow asked.

She redid some of the buttons, as the other lay somewhere scattered on the ground. Later she would definitely have to do a forgetting spell.

* * *

Dawn opened her eyes as Willow shook her awake. "Dawn! Wake up."

Dawn sat up looking around her startled. "What happened?"

"Nothing much except I had to separate Lorelai and Buffy from a near serious pastry accident."

"Where is Xander?" Dawn asked.

"Ahhh..Sleeping in a closet somewhere." Willow said.

"What? Why?"

"Believe me, it's for his own good." Willow said as she plopped down on the couch next to Dawn.

"Why is it dark?" Dawn asked.

"It's seven o'clock," Willow said.

"Five more hours…" Dawn moaned. "So I am guessing your counter spell didn't work."

"Nope." Willow sighed. "It's worse for me you know. I am affected by this spell too. I managed to calm most of the thoughts using magic…but that's it, they are still in there somewhere and it's incredibly unsettling."

"I could not be more sorry," Dawn said for the millionth time.

"Try," Willow answered.

Dawn sighed as she rested her head back against the pillows. Most of them were sleeping now exhausted from the over emotion of it all.

Just then the lights turned out. "What was that?" Dawn yelled.

"I don't know," Willow said. "It's icy out there maybe there was a power outage."

Just then a crash sounded through out the Inn. The windows crashed in from all around them and dark figures leapt in.

Dawn screamed once before everything went black.

* * *

Dawn opened her eyes slowly and looked around her. The right side of her head ached and as she brought her hand away from her head, the sight she saw made her stomach turn. She spotted blood on her palm.

Dawn groped from the lamp on the table beside her and turned it on. A little bit of light fell across the lobby. She saw Willow lying on the floor next to her, a gash across her forehead.

"Will?" Dawn asked shaking as she felt for a pulse. She was alive. Willow's eyelids fluttered and then opened.

"What happened?" She asked in a croaky voice, her lips trembling.

"We were attacked," Dawn said. "It might have been vampires. But I couldn't really see them."

Willow got to her feet slowly. " Check the others."

Buffy had managed to fight off a few and was now sitting on top of one a stake held over his heart. "What are you doing here?" she asked, finally sounded like Buffy.

"I'm not telling you anything," he spat.

Buffy punched him in the face. "How about now?" she asked sweetly.

"Our master will kill you," he said.

"Like I haven't heard that a million times and yet here I am," Buffy said. She tugged off her cross necklace and placed it in his mouth. His eyes widened in pain as his tongue began to burn. "I find this method works real well," Buffy said.

She let him sputter and spasm under her. "Now what do you want to tell me?" Buffy said.

Sure enough the pain got through to him and he was ready to share. "We were told to lay low for awhile," he sputtered. "But our master sensed that a spell was done that was distracting the slayer. We were sent to get the girl."

Buffy's head snapped up as she searched the room for Dawn. "Dawnie?"

"I'm here Buffy." Dawn said, as she stepped closer so that Buffy could see her.

The vampire sneered. "Not her."

"Who isn't here?" Buffy asked.

Willow and Dawn searched the dark corners. Lorelai and Michel were still knocked out.

Luke and Xander were still sharing a closet for two.

Dawn's heart dropped into her stomach. "Kate," she whispered. "They took Kate."

* * *

To be Continued…. 


	8. Drowning

Buffy Goes To Stars Hollow

Chapter 7: Drowning

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from either show, except for the ones that I made up.

* * *

"Why do you want Kate?" Buffy asked. "Is she still alive?"

"She lives," the vampire sneered. "Not for long. The end is only a matter of time slayer. She will be one of many that will face the end sooner."

"Where is she?" Buffy asked.

"Underground," the vampire said. "But you won't find her."

"Where?" Buffy said digging the stake in further.

"Do you think they would tell us?" the vampire laughed. " This master is smarter than the others. We handed her off to another group, who will hand her to another and so on. You won't find her."

"Why Kate?" Buffy asked again.

The vampire laughed. Buffy plunged the stake into his chest and sunk to the ground as he dissolved into dust.

"Why did you kill him?" Dawn asked. "He would have said."

"He bothered me," Buffy replied. "He wasn't going to say. We will figure that out later."

Buffy got to her feet tucking her stake into the back of her jeans. " Now what was this about a spell?"

After the explanation of the spell Buffy took a moment to digest all the information.

"That would explain the love for pastries and my overwhelming sugar rush. Which is kind of cool except for the feeling that my heart might pop out of my chest at any moment." Buffy added as an after thought.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am," Dawn said, starting to feel like a broken record.

"Buffy! Are you alright my love," Michel cried as he rushed to her aid.

Buffy frowned at Dawn. " You are really going to have to make up for this. I preferred it when I thought he hated me."

"I could never hate you," Michel said. " I was probably just having a bad day."

"You made me pay you back for the post its I used," Buffy sighed. "Per post-it!"

"It was a joke most definitely," Michel said trying to think back. "Though that does sound like me." Michel added.

"No it wasn't, you made a huge deal," Lorelai said from behind him. " And frankly I don't blame you. You work really hard Michel if you want I can fire her for you. I have that power." Lorelai beamed at him.

"Hey wait a minute!" Buffy said.

"You can't fire her," Michel said with disgust. "She makes the day so much better."

"I need a donut," Buffy sighed.

"Ok, this is started to stray from the deal at hand," Willow pointed out. " We need to find Kate."

"Right," Buffy said dropping the donut on to the table. " Hard to concentrate. How long is this spell supposed to last?"

Dawn looked up at the clock a grimace on her face. " A little over three hours," she said timidly.

Buffy shook her head, rubbing her temples with her fingers. " Ok. My head is a little fuzzy. I have weird thoughts going on," she said more to herself than to the others. I must concentrate she thought. Time to get into slayer mode.

"Will, we have to do something about them," Buffy whispered nodding her head behind her to indicate Michel and Lorelai.

Willow nodded and as she waved her hand the two of them fell gently to the floor in a dead sleep. "That works," Buffy said.

"What about Luke?" Dawn asked.

"He is in the closet with Xander," Dawn said smiling a little at her word choice.

"Are they? Do they?" Buffy trailed off unable to bring herself to finish the sentence.

Dawn grimaced at the image. " No. Luke lusts for Kate and Xander lusts for himself…. so on second thought sticking him alone might not be a good thing." Dawn added as an afterthought.

"Maybe we could use Luke?" Willow suggested.

"How?" Buffy and Dawn asked at the same time.

Willow started pacing, voicing her thoughts out loud. " Ok, go with me on this. Usually under a love spell such as this- people feel a connection to each other, almost like a tracking sense. Just like I know where Xander is at all times right now. If we tell Luke that Kate is kidnapped it will make him go search for her. With the spell affecting both of them to each other it should strengthen their bond to one another. It's a long shot but it might get us somewhat close."

Buffy thought about it. " It sounds good Will, but I'm a little nervous about taking Luke into a potential fight. I mean these people rarely deal with petty theft let alone vampires."

"I've seen people in love spells," Willow said remembering the spell Xander cast that had her going crazy as she wielded a knife in hopes to kill him than live without him. " They go crazy. If Luke thinks they are hurting her I'm pretty sure he can fend for himself. If not I could protect him with magic."

"Well it is our only option right now," Buffy said wishing she could come up with something else first. The past two weeks were the most normal of her life even while keeping a secret. However it was much easier keeping a secret when vampires weren't attacking every day. And now she was thrown right back into the fighting and already the people around her were getting involved. How would she explain this?

"Well if this doesn't screw me over for a raise I don't know what will. " Buffy said.

"Do you think I could just say goodbye to Xander first?" Willow asked as she let Xander out of the closet. Before Dawn and Buffy could say anything Willow threw herself into Xander's arms.

"A forgetting spell may be in order after this," Buffy said. Buffy and Dawn looked away as Willow kissed him.

"Doesn't she remember she's a lesbian?" Buffy asked.

"Wow I didn't know that was possible to do with a tongue…" Dawn said thoughtfully. Buffy covered her eyes and turned her to the wall.

"Just be still, close your eyes and think of your country," Buffy teased. "Come on Willow," Buffy called.

Willow came over to them looking sheepish. " Sorry, sometimes it gets too hard to control."

"Not a problem," Buffy said. "There are things you wouldn't believe you could do with donuts." She laughed, and then paused. " I didn't say that."

Willow and Dawn nodded. " I don't think Xander should go," Willow said. It was hard enough with him around to concentrate.

"How will we keep him here?" Buffy asked. Xander usually insisted on helping.

"Stick a mirror in front of him," Dawn said," that should keep him busy."

"Well I think it's time to let the beast loose," Buffy suggested.

"I'll get Luke," Willow agreed.

* * *

Twenty minutes later the four of them were walking through the Stars Hollow cemetery. Buffy wrapped her arms around her body to keep the heat in as she walked.

"Wow, a town with only one cemetery," Buffy whispered to Willow. " Who thought it was possible?"

"Freaks," Willow smiled, her teeth chattering from the cold.

The grass snapped under their feet as they moved through and around the headstones following behind Luke. After they had told Luke, he had done just what Willow had said and gone crazy with rage. A couple of lamps would definitely have to be replaced tomorrow, another thing to explain, Buffy thought.

Finally Luke had set out walking towards god only knew. Buffy hoped this worked because they were running against the clock. It didn't help that they were all under a spell and now a kidnapping to add on top of it. Another thing Buffy would have to explain. Hopefully Kate was all right and if so, hadn't seen too much. As she thought about it, she didn't know Kate that well. But if the vampires wanted her she must mean something to them but what could it be? These were the times that she wished Giles was here, he usually suggested the things she thought about herself but coming from him it just made her more sure of herself.

In a way she would always need a watcher, because Giles was more a father than a boss type. She missed his fatherly ways and even the way he'd look annoyed at her for jumping head long into danger. If he were here he'd probably give a "oh dear" and clean his glasses. That thought made her smile.

Luke stopped in front of them and turned. "She's under the ground?" he said more in surprise than fact.

Buffy pointed towards a crypt. " Maybe there is a tunnel entrance in there," she suggested. There were always tunnels in the crypts back home.

Luke turned and headed to the crypt pulling open the door so hard, Buffy half expected it to rip off the hinges.

Sure enough there was a small entrance in the back. "Big gaping holes of death," Buffy muttered. " Luke let me go first." She pushed in front of him before he could protest and lead them down a winding passageway…deeper and deeper into the dark.

As they got deeper each turned on their flashlight. "That smell is familiar," Buffy said wrinkling her nose. " Funny enough, I didn't miss it."

Dawn smiled despite the fear of walking headlong down a narrow dark tunnel in the direction of the bad guys. She always preferred the plan of her running in the opposite direction of the bad guys. But she felt responsible and thus she walked towards the evil. It was that or stay at the Inn watching the donuts as Buffy had suggested.

Then the mistakable sound of running water filled the air. "What the hell?" Buffy said out loud.

As the path narrowed they turned a corner and found the culprit of the sound. Running along side them was a water tunnel. The snow must have been melting pretty fast because the chill from the water made them shiver and it was flowing pretty fast.

"Stay close to the wall," Buffy instructed tugging her hat down on her head.

"This doesn't seem right," Willow said out loud.

"Walking through a sewer drain in winter?" Buffy asked. " Seems like a typical Saturday to me." She added sarcastically.

"No I mean there's an energy," Willow said. " I feel like I'm walking against something. Don't you feel it?"

Buffy concentrated. "No I don't…"

And then the ground began to shake. From past events- when the ground started shaking it always led to terror and death. "Get down," she yelled over the sound of the earth cracking above them.

Buffy reached for a pipe sticking out from the wall but her mittens made it impossible to get a good grip and they slipped off. With a cry of panic, Buffy fell backwards and hit the water with a loud smack. The icy water hit her like an electric shock.

"Buffy!!!!!!" Dawn screamed as she reached for her sister.

Buffy sputtered to the surface reaching for her hand. The icy water threatened to pull her under.

"Willow!" Dawn yelled. "Help me!"

Willow struggled to get up but she was pinned under a piece of pipe that had fallen over her midriff. The pain coursed through her body as she searched the water for Buffy. "I…I can't get free," Willow screamed.

The water wrapped its icy fingers around Buffy's body as it pulled her under. Buffy's lungs burned with the cold water that rushed down her throat as it pulled her under again and again. She kicked her legs as hard as she could, banging them against the solid concrete of the walls. As she fought the current she saw glimpses of her sister getting farther and farther away. Panic began to override the calm she tried to maintain, as her body was tossed around in the current that was over taking her strength. She was out of control and she couldn't do anything about it.

She reached out her hands frantically, struggling to grab onto something, as the water began to make her body numb. With one last desperate attempt she kicked her legs only to be pulled further under. The water closed over her head pitching her into darkness as her lungs burned for air.

The cold hurt her body as it stabbed her flesh. Her fight started to fade as the water took her further down spinning her around and around in its current. Buffy felt the water coarse down her throat and fill her lungs like icy knives. Then she felt a warm sensation run through her veins as her eyes closed and the small shred of light faded into nothingness.

* * *

Dawn watched as her sister was swept around the corner and felt her heart drop into her stomach. The feeling was similar to watching her sister swan dive from that platform a few years ago. Her body shook with unshed tears as she struggled to her feet. The shaking of the earth hadn't lasted that long but it was long enough to steal her sister from her again.

Dawn turned back to Willow, who even in the small piece of light they had, looked pale from shock. Luke had been knocked unconscious momentarily but was now trying to pull the pipe off Willow.

"Help me," he muttered to Dawn under his breath.

Dawn had to tell her legs to move and finally they did, and she stumbled towards him. Focusing she grabbed one end of the pipe and used every bit of strength she had to pull the pipe off Willow. Willow slid herself away, leaning against the wall.

"Buffy," she said under her breath as tears mixed with the dirt on her face. " I couldn't save her. I tried but I couldn't see…I…"

"We can still find her Willow. Get up, we have to go."

"We have to find Kate," Luke said.

"We will find them both," Dawn snapped. "Buffy is the only one that can help her."

"I can do it," Luke said stubbornly. "I will rescue Kate."

"You will listen to me," Dawn said. "If we separate they can pick us off. Willow felt something, so they must have this booby-trapped; they know we're here. We have to stick together."

Willow got to her feet slowly. " Dawn's right. Come on." She grabbed her flashlight and began to walk in the direction that Buffy had gone.

As time went by, Dawn felt the hope begin to fade as well. The tunnel seemed endless and she was brought back to memories of the movie Labyrinth where the pathway was never ending. Dawn hadn't seen any new landmarks to mark the passing of time; it was the same concrete tunnel as she had seen for the past ten minutes.

When hope began to fail she saw a turn in the tunnel up above. Dawn's step quickened as she hurried to the end. As they turned the corner they saw where the water dropped to a cavern below.

Dawn began to run as the tunnel opened up at the end. They came to the end of the path where it turned again and went in a large circle. There was a door directly opposite across the small cavern.

The water fell into a pool at the bottom. Dawn looked over the side shining her flashlight into the murky pool. "Do you see anything?" she asked Willow and Luke who were doing the same thing.

"No…I can't…" Willow began and then her voice stopped.

Dawn moved her flashlight to the same place that Willow's shone. In the middle of the pool was Buffy-laying face down in the water.

* * *

"Buffy!" Dawn yelled, though it was useless. Buffy's arms were at her side as she bobbed in the water. The white dress she was wearing made her look like an angel Dawn remembered thinking. Buffy wasn't moving.

Dawn handed her flashlight to Willow. "I'm going in."

"It's like thirty feet down Dawn. You don't know how deep it is. Let me see if I can lift her," Willow said as she prepared to use magic. She frowned, her face showing panic.

"Willow! Hurry!" Dawn said tearing her eyes away from Buffy.

"I can't!" Willow said. "My magic isn't working!"

"You think we'd let you use magic down here?" Came a deep voice from behind them.

They spun around but there was only darkness. "Where is Kate?" Luke demanded.

"You dare to ask me questions? I don't really think you are in the right position to make orders of me," the booming voice said again.

The voice felt like it was coming from everywhere around them. Dawn spun around trying to find the person or thing the voice belonged to. Damp cold began to spread to her bones as he teeth began to chatter against her will.

"Where is she?" Luke demanded again.

"He's under a spell he isn't thinking," Willow said her voice edging on hysteria. This voice was creating a weird sensation in her body like mind numbing fear.

"Yes. The spell. Thank you Dawn," the voice said. The use of her name felt so intimate and creepy that Dawn shivered. "You caused a distraction for me to act. I hadn't planned to yet, but I can't let opportunities go to waste."

"End of the world opportunities?" Willow asked.

"That will come in time," the voice said. "For now I like to have my fun."

Willow and Dawn inched closer together, grabbing onto each other in the darkness.

"What are you going to do with us?" Dawn asked, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer to that.

"You wanted to see where Kate was. And now you will…" the voice grew louder as it seemed to come from right in front of them. A blast of cold air hit before everything went black.

* * *

When Dawn came too the first thing she noticed was how warm she felt. And then she felt something hard pressing into her back. Opening her eyes she found herself looking around a cavern right from the movies, complete with jagged pieces of earth hanging from the ceiling and coming up from the ground. A fire pit sat in the middle of the cavern and a fire was blazing. It was how hell was always depicted.

Her arms were tied behind her back and her legs were tied at the ankles in front of her. Turning her head she saw Willow tied beside her and Luke on the other side of Willow. She couldn't remember how she had got here. She remembered a flying sensation as she seemed to float through the tunnels and now she was here- all in the blink of an eye.

"Dawn are you ok?" Willow whispered. She didn't see anyone around her that could hear her but she didn't want to risk it nonetheless.

Dawn nodded. Then she remembered the last glimpse she had of Buffy and felt the despair spread through her insides. "No."

"I'm so sorry Dawn," Willow said knowing she should say something but wasn't sure what.

"Why are you sorry? This is all my fault. Buffy is dead because of me and my stupid spell," Dawn said disgusted with herself.

"Buffy might not be dead," Willow said.

"You saw her Will and there is no one that was around to pull her out. She is gone because I like a boy." The whole thing with Jess was ridiculous to her now. She was a horny girl who cast a spell that had her sister killed, Kate kidnapped and possibly dead and the three of them tied up. She wished she were the one that fell into the water and died.

And yet because she was the reason this had all happened, she felt like she had a duty to keep fighting. No matter how much she wanted to curl up in the fetal position and pray that the end would come quick and painlessly.

"Do you see Kate?" Luke asked.

"No," Willow answered shaking her head. The gash on her forehead and the throbbing in her legs mixed with the fear of the unknown and she feared she might pass out. She couldn't think now of Buffy, the grief was too much to handle on top of this. She would put it away and think on it later when she had proof that her best friend was stolen from her.

The only sounds in this cavern were the crackling of the flames that cast shadows against the jagged rocks of the cave. And if you were to listen really close you could also hear the soft cries of a young girl who'd lost the most important person to her.

Luke struggled against his bonds that dug painfully into his skin. Lying on his side he managed to work his arms under his butt. Then he sat back up and pulled his arms under his legs and rested them on his lap. Willow's eyes darted around the cavern to see if anyone had noticed as her heart began to race.

Luke grunted with pain as he worked the bonds so that they were loose enough to pull over his wrists. Once free, he started to work on the bonds around his ankles.

Willow chewed the inside of her lip in worry. This was too easy. They had thought of everything, including her magic and yet one of them was able to slip so easily from rope? It didn't make any sense.

"Luke," she whispered. " I don't think this is a good idea."

"I'm going to rescue Kate," he whispered back as he pulled the last of his bonds free. " What else should I do? Sit here and wait until they return?"

Dawn looked up at him tearfully. " Will you," she said through trembling lips, " will you please find Buffy Luke? Please find Buffy. I know you think you love Kate and want to find her, but please, please can you find Buffy first?" Dawn broke into sobs that racked her body as she kept repeating her last plea.

Luke bent down in front of her. He put his finger under her chin and tilted her face up to meet his. Even with the foggy events of the spell in his mind, Dawn felt like she was really looking at Luke and believed him completely when he replied. "Of course I will."

Then he was gone.

* * *

Deep in the recesses of the cavern Buffy's body floated in the murky, icy waters of the pool. Just before she had passed out she had felt a falling sensation and managed to suck in some air before she was pulled under again.

Her survival instincts kicked in enough to swim, slowly and with great difficulty, to a small raised stone platform in the center. Somehow she found the strength to raise herself up onto the platform, which thankfully, was only an inch above the water before she passed out again. Anyone looking down at her would assume she was floating on top of the water.

She thought she heard voices from above her, but everything seemed so far away. Her mind seemed somewhat alert and yet when she tried to send instructions to the rest of her body it wouldn't work. Seconds later the blackness stole her away again.

He splashed into the water beside her grabbing a hold of her and turning her onto her back as he dragged her to land. He lifted her up onto the cold stone of the platform and placed his head on her chest to check for breathing. Her chest rose softly and her pulse was weak but steady.

He turned her on her side and hit her back hard enough to make her exhale loudly and some of the murky water spurted out of her mouth as her eyes snapped open. Buffy started to spit out water as she struggled to sit up.

He put his arm around her back to support her as she sucked in huge gulps of air. Buffy's throat burned and her body felt like it was nothing but a bag of bones as she sat for several moments breathing in air. "I never thought I would be so grateful to smell sewer air," she said weakly.

* * *

Back in the cave Dawn and Willow waited anxiously counting the minutes that Luke had been gone.

"I wonder if he found her?" Dawn asked, afraid to hope.

"I don't know Dawnie." Willow responded. " I hope so."

"I know the answer to that," came the voice again.

Willow and Dawn turned towards the voice and only saw a robed figure standing to the right of them.

"Looks like Luke got free," the voice said as if it were amused by the concept. " It would seem the slayer lives."

Dawn breathed a sigh of relief. " Really?" she asked.

The robed figure nodded. " Which is a little disappointing. However, it would have been too easy for me if she had simply drowned. What would they say about that at the water cooler tomorrow?" The robed figure laughed at its own joke.

"Where are they?" Dawn asked.

"Well Luke is right here," the robe figure said pointing to the vampire that appeared with a beaten up Luke.

"Where's Buffy?" Dawn asked. She looked at Luke. " You saved her right?"

" Luke wasn't with Buffy when we found him," the robe figure informed her.

"I thought you said Buffy was alive," Dawn said fearing that it had all been a game and Buffy was still laying in the water somewhere.

"Oh, the slayer lives. But our boy here wasn't the knight in shining armor." The robe figure said. " It would appear that there is another player."

Willow and Dawn looked at each other in bewilderment. " Then who?" Dawn asked.

* * *

Buffy wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve as she leaned against his chest for support. "Thanks," she said gratefully turning to her rescuer.

Her eyes widened in surprise that soon turned to shock as he began to speak. "It wouldn't be a Saturday if I wasn't saving the day pet."

Buffy's lips formed the name that her mind couldn't yet comprehend. " Spike?"

* * *


	9. Left Behind

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Gilmore Girls, or anything in the Buffyverse. Though I wish I did. The characters that I make up, are mine.

"Let's get you up luv," he said pulling her to her feet. Buffy's legs felt like jelly as she struggled to stand.

"But how?" she managed finally. " You died."

"It's a long story," Spike said as he supported her weight on his side. "I didn't die in Sunnydale. Well I did die in Sunnydale but I came back."

"I know that part," Buffy said.

Spike looked at her in surprise. " You knew?"

"Andrew," Buffy said.

"That little ponce promised me," Spike began. Then he stopped, figuring this wasn't the time.

"Why did you tell him to lie Spike? Why did you let me believe that you had died that day? After what I told you and you didn't even tell me you were back." Buffy said refusing to move anymore.

"This really isn't the time luv, let's get you all warm and cozy in your house and then we'll sit down to a cuppa and talk." Spike said.

"The others!" Buffy said, having completely forgotten about the others. " Did they get out?"

"They were taken somewhere else," Spike said.

"And you didn't stop them!" she exclaimed.

"Don't want to argue luv you were several moments away from walking towards the bloody white light. I thought that a live slayer was priority."

"Right. Sorry," Buffy said. " Did you see which way they went?"

Spike shook his head. " They were there one minute and gone the next."

"Great," Buffy mumbled. She tried to take a few steps on her own but her knees buckled under her. Spike caught her before she hit the ground. Buffy held onto his arms. "Just let me get my sea legs." She said.

"We don't have a lot of time." Spike pointed out.

"Well you tell the room to stop spinning and I will tell my legs to move," she said, just before sinking to the ground again. If she wasn't so cold and her friend's weren't in danger part of her thought she might enjoy the comedy aspect going on. Just then she remembered something and with a sigh she reached into her back pocket and pulled out what looked like mush.

"What the bleedin' hell is that?" Spike asked.

Buffy pouted. " My donut," she said sullenly. " I knew I shouldn't have brought it but I was afraid to leave it behind."

"Did you hit your head on the way down pet?" Spike asked.

"We're all under a spell," Buffy sighed as if it were an every day event. Which, let's face it, it almost was.

Spike let a drawn out." Right." Before he pulled Buffy back to her feet. "Drop the sodden donut and we will go find Red and the nibblet."

"Sounds like a capital plan," Buffy replied. " Let the wackiness ensue!"

"You seem all right now," Spike pointed out.

"I find death usually agrees with me," Buffy teased. "Does something for the complexion."

"You're not concerned with your friends?" Spike asked skeptically.

"Of course I am, but this spell makes with the happy and it's hard to concentrate sometimes that's all." Buffy smiled and then became serious. " And the fact that I am looking and talking with you makes me think I actually bit the big one and I am in heaven right now."

Spike smiled as he put his arm around her to steady her. " If you were in heaven pet, I can guarantee you, I wouldn't be there."

"Good point." As she held on a little tighter than she needed to.

Together they walked down a series of endless tunnels searching for a sign that they had gone this way. The shock of the event was wearing off and Buffy started to feel the cold again. It felt like the ice water had spread to her bones and no matter how hard she tried she'd never be able to feel warmth again.

"Are you alright Slayer?" Spike asked, his voice concerned.

Buffy closed her eyes as she let that husky voice float around her. She couldn't believe this was happening. It didn't seem possible and yet after everything they had been through she had learned not to be surprised anymore.

"Peachy," Buffy said. If she tried to say anything more, all the events from the past year would tumble out of her mouth in and endless line of word babble.

Suddenly Spike stopped. "Did you hear that?" he whispered.

Buffy listened. She couldn't hear anything but her own ragged breathe. " Ah not equipped with vampire hearing give me the cliff notes here." She said.

"Footsteps," Spike explained as he propped her against a wall for support.

"Hey, I don't appreciate being a sewer prop," Buffy said. As she tried to stand up, she felt herself start to fall again.

"No offense luv but you're slowing me down. Just stay here." He said as he moved off.

"Hey!" Buffy whispered as loud as she could before it verged on yelling. Then she sunk to the ground. " Well this sucks."

Spike moved down the tunnel. He had heard voices but the reason for leaving Buffy was more than that. He knew he was going to see her again and was going to play it as cool as possible, but just seeing her floating on the water, made him remember the day he hadn't saved her.

Being away from her had been hell, but being with her was torture. He couldn't ignore the fact that he had noticed how her white dress had clung to her wet body like a second skin. He couldn't ignore that, beneath the smell of sewer, her hair still smelled like vanilla. And most of all, he couldn't ignore the familiar way she had fit against his body.

Walking away from her was better. Soon he would have to explain everything about why he was back, and what was going to come. Soon.

He heard the footsteps draw closer and pressed his back against the sewer wall. A long dark shadow fell over the wall as it came closer. Spike felt his muscles tense the way they did before a fight. He felt his face tighten and shift as his vamp face appeared.

As it turned the corner Spike felt a lion like growl spring out of his throat as he pounced. The figure wasn't nearly as big as he thought it would be and he tackled it easily. He heard a high scream as they fell in a clump to the floor. Spike straddled it and raised his fist to strike when he stopped suddenly.

"Sorry nibblet," Spike apologized.

Dawn lowered her arms (having raised them in defense) and squinted in the dark to make out who it was. That voice. The name. "Spike?"

"In the flesh," he said, pulling her to her feet. "Sorry."

Dawn brushed the dirt off her pants as she stared at him with a look of shock on her pretty features. " I can't believe it." She said in wonder and then her eyes narrowed skeptically, "Are you the first?" she accused.

"The first is down for the count luv. It's me." He stroked a piece of hair off her forehead and tucked it behind her ear.

Without thinking Dawn threw her arms around his waist and pressed the side of her head against his chest. Spike smiled as he hugged her back, pressing his lips against the top of her head.

"I missed you so much," Dawn, whispered. She had never been so happy to see a vampire in her whole life. " I thought you were dead."

"I rarely stay dead these days luv," Spike smiled.

"Did you see Buffy?" Dawn asked as she reluctantly drew her arms away.

" Yeah. She's alright." He assured her.

Dawn smiled. " Thank you."

"Where is Red?" Spike asked.

"Haven't heard that name in awhile," came a voice behind them.

Spike found himself looking at Willow and smiled at the familiar face. Willow hugged him too realizing it was the first time she ever had. With everything that had happened it was good to see someone from the old days. "You might want to get rid of the vamp face Spike. Civilian coming up behind me."

Spike nodded as his face returned to normal as Luke turned the corner. "How did you guys get free?" Spike asked.

Dawn looked at Willow before speaking. " He let us go." Even as she said it, she seemed unsure.

Spike's eyebrow was raised in doubt. " He let you go?"

Dawn nodded, looking around her nervously. " Yea. He said it wasn't time for us. And he just let us go. Except for Kate. He didn't let her go. He said that he was sure that we would come back to rescue her and that we could try."

"That doesn't seem right." Spike said.

"We have to go Spike. Most of us are under a spell and we aren't at full power," Willow said. " Where is Buffy?"

"Here. Buffy is here. Buffy is slightly paralyzed but she is here." Buffy said from down the tunnel.

"Buffy!" Dawn cried happily as she ran towards her sister.

Dawn threw her arms around Buffy, which knocked them both to the ground. "I guess the paralyzed part didn't hit home with you huh?" Buffy said evenly as they both lay there.

Dawn raised herself up. "Oops sorry," she said sheepishly.

"I'll get her," Spike said.

"No I'm fine," Buffy said. The cool stone against her head actually felt good. It was preventing her from throwing up. Just then she felt the ground began to tilt as it got farther and farther away. She realized that Spike had scooped her up in his arms and was heading quickly towards the exit.

"Put me down," she said weakly.

"We have to get moving luv just enjoy the free ride." Spike muttered under his breathe as he held her against his chest.

"What about Kate?" Luke asked. " We have to get Kate."

"Look Luke. We all want to get Kate back, and we will. But we have to go get some things and come back later."

"I am going to go get her now!" Luke said refusing to move another inch.

Willow put her hand on her hips. " I didn't want to have to do this." She snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"What did you do?" Dawn asked.

"A little spell. It will make him follow us out of here. Think of it as a less dead zombie spell." Willow said.

Together they started back along the dark tunnels in search of the exit. Luckily Spike hadn't been as turned around as they had and found the way back easily. Dawn hadn't ever been so happy to be in a cemetery in her life. She gulped in the fresh night air as she hurried towards the car.

"When we get back to the Inn," Willow began," you have to help me get Michel and Lorelai together so we can do a forgetting spell."

"No more spells for me," Dawn said, " I tend to make magic do the wacky."

Willow smiled, squeezing Dawn's shoulder. " Only in a helper capacity."

Dawn nodded taking a deep breathe. " Alright."

Once they got back to the Inn, Willow and Dawn rounded up Lorelai and Michel with only a few minutes to spare. Willow had explained that it would work smoother if she cast the forgetting spell within the lust spell. There brains were already foggy from the spell and if the forgetting spell were cast now then it would all just seem like a dream.

Willow gathered all the ingredients and Dawn brought them into the lobby under false pretenses. Once the spell was cast they both fell into a deep sleep. "So what will they think happened today?" Dawn asked.

Willow shrugged. " I put in some everyday events into their heads. It will just seem like a typical day for them. Don't worry."

"What about Luke and Kate?" Dawn asked.

"I did the spell on Luke already. He is at home sleeping it off. As for Kate I can't do anything about her right now she's out of range," Willow explained.

"But Kate works for Luke, he's totally going to notice if she doesn't show up tomorrow," Dawn said.

"I implanted a memory in his head, that she is very sick and wants to be left alone," Willow said," he assumes that we are stopping by to take care of her."

"Well it seems like everything is worked out," Dawn said sadly, " But Kate is still missing."

Willow replaced the ingredients and packed up her things. " I figure they need her for something and because of that, I'm sure she's alive for now. For tonight we need to get some rest Dawnie. We are no good to her like this. Tomorrow morning we will try and figure something out."

Dawn smiled sadly. " It's weird. I made this spell for a Saturday figuring that if anything happened then we would have Sunday to work things out."

"Small favors eh?" Willow said putting her arms around Dawn's shoulder. " Let's go."

Dawn put her arm around Willow's waist as they headed to the car. " I guess this is the beginning of everything?" Dawn said out loud.

"We'll make Stars Hollow regret the day they welcomed us in," Willow smiled.

Back at the old Victorian the scoobies shared, Xander turned in early to avoid another awkward run in with Willow. Willow helped Buffy undress and get into the shower, and then into bed.

Dawn made up one of the spare rooms for Spike. She was fitting the bed with clean sheets while Spike leant against the doorway and watched.

"Sorry about the boxes," Dawn said over her shoulder, " Everything we didn't unpack got stored here."

"I've slept in worse places nibblet," Spike said. " I could have found a nice crypt. You didn't have to take me in."

"Of course we did," Dawn, said putting the last of the pillows on the bed.

After she finished she turned and sat down on the side of the bed, looking at her folded hands in her lap. "It's going to get bad isn't it?" she whispered.

Spike walked over to sit next to her. "As a rule, yea. Most likely luv. This is just the beginning. We've been through this all before. Same game just different players."

"Are you going to stay?" Dawn asked looking up at him from under her lashes.

"Until the end." Spike assured her.

Some people weren't settling down for the night. One sat alone, cold and terrified in the deep cavern underground.

Kate wrapped her arms around her raised knees and lay her head down. Her body was emptied of tears but her body still shook from the cold. She remembered being at the Inn waiting for Luke to return to her. Then there was darkness and loud noises and the feeling of being pushed around by strong men. One minute she was safe and warm and the next she was in a cave fearing for her life.

She had been filled with an overwhelming lust for him and had almost gone through with it. A glance at her watch told her it was past midnight. In one instant her feelings of love had disappeared and she felt empty. Up until now she felt that Luke was coming for her and she had held onto that hope and certainty. That wasn't the case anymore. Something had gone through her moments ago and then left-taking with it, any bit of hope she had left.

Her voice was hoarse from screaming. Her pleas went unheard. No body had come for her. No one had explained to her why she was here. She didn't know which were better, waiting for someone to come, or waiting alone. If they came for her it might be the end. The terror was consuming her.

And just then a figure appeared. Kate shrank away trying to make herself as small as possible.

The figure stopped in front of her. "Who are you?" Kate asked in a tiny voice.

"You don't recognize me?"

Kate shook her head.

"Well I suppose that is expected. It's been awhile. Especially with that damn forgetting spell they put on you."

Kate shook her head. " I don't know what you're talking about. Please let me go. You have the wrong person. I don't know you. I'm nobody."

The figure laughed. At least she figured it was supposed to be laughter. It was loud, deep and sent shivers up and down her back. " Nobody? Everything would point to the contrary Kate."

"I don't understand," Kate pleaded feeling the well of tears coming again.

"We met once, you and I." The figure said. " You left an impression. It would seem to me I didn't do the same to you."

"Who are you then? When did we meet?" Kate asked, her voice edging on hysteria.

"In Ireland, Kate," the figure said.

"Ireland? I've never been there"," Kate insisted. "How am I supposed to have remembered you?"

"It was Ireland," the voice insisted. "Over one hundred years ago."

To Be Continued….


	10. First Encounters of theRelationship Kind

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

Chapter Nine: First Encounters of the Relationship Kind

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. I don't make money from these stories.

* * *

When Buffy awoke the next morning, every inch of her body was acutely aware of the fact that Spike was in her home.

The man she had mourned twice was sleeping in her spare room. Part of her loved him and the other part hated him. One part wanted to lash out and the other wanted to satisfy that empty place inside of her.

Spike didn't seem so concerned with her pain however, or he would have come to her after the first time he 'died'. He didn't though, and that was the part the made her insides ache.

Buffy turned on to her side as she balled up the pillow beneath her head. The clock told her that it was time to get up. For the first time, she really didn't want to go into work.

What she wanted was to bury herself under her comforter and sleep all day. Sleep was the only way to escape the questions that raced through her mind.

Groaning in defeat, she tossed the covers aside and headed for the shower. At least she had a shot of getting out of the house without running into Spike.

* * *

Luckily for Buffy, the only ones in the kitchen were Xander and Willow. By the looks of it, they were going about their business but to a close observer they were avoiding each other at all costs. If one reached for the cereal, the other one had toast; if one had coffee the other had juice.

Willow hadn't done a forgetting spell on them in case they risked losing valuable information and the fact that Kate was still lost to them.

Buffy smiled at her friend's awkwardness as she poured herself a coffee. "Are you guys ever going to speak to one another again or is going to be freeze out 2007?" Buffy asked, hiding a smile behind her coffee mug.

Xander pointed an accusing finger at Buffy. "Hey, you don't know! There were boundary issues…and, and.."

"Bad touching," Willow piped in between chews.

Xander nodded at her. "Right. Bad touching!" He said. He was so animated the Buffy was trying very hard not to laugh. Xander and Willow had a brief smile with each other over their censuses only to remember they weren't supposed to look at each other and focused back on their breakfasts.

"It was a spell," Buffy sighed. "It's not like we haven't had to deal with the aftermath of spells gone wrong before. We've prepared for this we have kits and everything! So rally the wagons and let's get over this." All she needed was a skirt and a set of pom-poms and she would be her own cheering section.

"Ha-rah!" Xander mumbled shoving a spoonful of cheerios into his mouth.

Buffy set down her mug and crossed her arms over her chest. "Seriously guys, you're best friends. It was a spell. Can't you just forget about it and move on?"

"It's hard to just move on Buffy," Willow said.

"Really?" Xander asked.

"Oh get over yourself Xand," Willow said, with a first hint of a smile. "I like girls now sweetie."

"You weren't so concerned with that the other night," Xander pointed out. Didn't hurt the ego that Willow had been drawn to him. He decided not to reflect too much on the fact it took a spell to do it.

"Maybe there was something feminine about you," Willow suggested, a small smile playing on her lips.

Xander's ego took the punch. "Hey! I am all man baby," he said.

"I don't know," Buffy said, playing along. "The way you were preening yourself was kinda girly."

"Hey pastry girl, if anything- that was metro." Xander said defensively.

"Well it certainly wasn't hetero," Buffy said unable to contain the laughter.

Willow laughed along with her. Soon Xander couldn't help himself and joined in. It felt good to laugh after everything.

Willow put her hand over Xander's. "We good?"

Xander gave her hand a squeeze. "Always."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Well I'm going to leave this 'after school special' moment and go to work."

She said goodbye to her friends, grabbed her messenger bag and headed out. At least she had a Spike free afternoon to look forward to.

* * *

"You don't look good," Luke said as he poured Lorelai a coffee.

"And a happy day to you too. Your customer service is amendable!" She said with mock enthusiasm.

Luke's eyes softened. "Sorry. I just mean you don't look happy."

"I think the morning is arriving earlier these days," Lorelai complained, pulling the mug of coffee close.

"It's almost Christmas, doesn't Christmas make you unbearable happy?" Luke asked.

"Unbearable for you, you mean?" Lorelai smiled.

"Mostly, yeah." Luke smiled back.

"Yeah. I just have a lot of plans to go over for the Christmas Party. This is Rory's last week of school before holidays and then she is coming to work at the Inn with me. And it's less than two weeks before Christmas and I feel like I've been in a daze this weekend."

"You too?" Luke said. " I don't remember much of this weekend. Part of me was surprised that it was Monday today.

"It seems kind of busy in here today," Lorelai commented. " Where is Kate?"

"She's sick," he said. "There must be a bug going around."

"That would explain a lot," Lorelai said. "Do you have any burgers?"

"It's nine in the morning," Luke pointed out. "Burgers aren't nine in the morning food."

"They are if you've been up since four," Lorelai pointed out. "I figure if I eat afternoon food that I will feel more awake."

"I don't understand how you aren't big as a house," Luke said shrugging.

"Talking as fast as I do tends to burn calories," Lorelai said. "Burger me."

"No burgers. I'll make you pancakes." Luke said.

"With blueberries?" Lorelai asked with a childish grin on her face.

"With blueberries," Luke said headed to the kitchen.

Lorelai leaned over the counter. "You are a person to worship Luke!" Lorelai called.

"I'll go get my robes," Luke muttered.

"Hey Lorelai," came a voice from behind her.

It was Buffy's little sister. " Hey Dawn," Lorelai said, tapping the seat next to her. "Have a seat."

"I can only stay a minute," Dawn said.

"What's wrong?" Lorelai asked.

"Nothing," Dawn said nervously.

"There must be something," Lorelai said softly, the way she would with Rory. "You are looking everywhere but at me."

Crap, she noticed Dawn thought. "I felt bad about breaking the lamp," she lied quickly.

Lorelai's brow crinkled in confusion. "When did you break a lamp? What lamp?"

"The one at the Inn," Dawn said. Then she remembered that Willow had cast a spell that fixed all the damage.

"When was this?" Lorelai asked.

"Ummm…the other day. I replaced it though. But the guilt was eating at me so I thought I would just come clean," she took a big sigh, " I feel all better. Thanks for listening. I have to go to school now. Bye Lorelai."

Before Lorelai could formulate words Dawn was already through the door. "Bizarre girl," Lorelai said under her breathe.

* * *

Dawn stuffed her books into her locker and grabbed her wallet. "Hey Dawn!"

Dawn turned towards the voice and saw that it was her newest friend Jenn. She had met Jenn in art class and they had hit it off immediately. Her friendship with Jenn was probably the only thing that made moving to a new high school in her senior year bearable. High school was hard enough, but going into one when she was in her senior year where friendships have already been made, was really hard.

"Hey. Cafeteria or quad?" Dawn asked.

"Art room," Jenn said presenting a third option. "Too cold for outside, cafeteria too packed with people. The art room is much better."

Dawn nodded. "Art room it is."

There were only a couple of people in the art room when they entered. And one person Dawn hadn't expected to see. Her heart jumped into her throat when her eyes landed on Jess sitting in the corner, nose buried in a book.

For a split second Dawn considered running, but Jenn had already found a seat and was calling her over. Jess heard her name and looked up. He smiled at her, but Dawn found herself looking away and hurrying towards Jenn.

Dawn slid into her seat so fast that she nearly slid over the whole surface and landed on the floor. Jenn put a hand out to steady her. "Whoa, what's up spaz?"

Dawn smiled, slightly embarrassed, praying that Jess hadn't seen that. "Nothing. Just a little hyped up," Dawn lied. "Too much caffeine and I turn spazzy."

Jenn looked over Dawn's shoulder and then leaned in to whisper in Dawn's ear. "That Jess guy is totally staring at you."

Great, so he saw my near accident. Dawn tried to play as cool as possible. " That's nice."

" 'That's nice'" she said, mimicking Dawn's statement. "You have been talking about him since you started here."

Dawn waved her hand wishing she could dismiss the whole conversation. "It was a stupid crush. I'm totally over him."

"Really?" Jenn said casting her eyes to her own latest crush. "What's your secret?"

"Him liking another girl helps," Dawn said, pulling her lunch from her bag.

"Oh. Sorry," Jenn asked. "Who is she?"

"She doesn't go here. She goes to Chilton."

"Ahhh...it's the skirt thing I bet," Jenn said. "Guys tend to like the early Britney Spears look."

"Doesn't mean he couldn't fall for you," Jenn said. "I mean the way he's staring at you doesn't make him seem to be so bothered with the other girl."

Dawn thought of the crush that had turned into a spell. "I'm not going through that again. Crushes are exhausting."

"Hey Dawn," came a voice.

Dawn and Jenn looked up into the eyes of Jess Mariano. "Hey Jess."

"We still going to get together for that project?" he asked.

Dawn shrugged. "I suppose we should." She prided herself on remaining so cool, when her heart was actually threatening to choke her at any moment.

"Come by Luke's after school?" he said. Dawn wasn't sure it was a question of a command, but she nodded anyway.

After Jess had left Jenn smiled. "Round two?" she suggested.

Dawn sighed. "Hit me baby one more time," she muttered before her and Jenn burst into peals of laughter.

* * *

"Rough night?" Lorelai asked.

Buffy looked up from her agenda. "That's putting it mildly."

"What's wrong?" Lorelai asked as she took the seat across from Buffy, grateful to put her mound of paperwork down.

Buffy covered her notes on the Kate situation as discreetly as possible, as she pulled the Christmas party plans closer. "An old ex came to town last night," Buffy said. When she put it like that, it actually sounded pretty normal. She left out the part that he'd died twice, was currently without pulse and, oh yeah, a vampire.

"Yikes, nothing causes dark circles under the eyes like the old ex coming to town," Lorelai said as she put a coffee in front of Buffy.

Buffy sipped it gratefully. "I thought I did a good job covering those," she said, touching the dark marks under her eyes.

"Metaphorically speaking," Lorelai said. " You look great. You can get away with sleepless nights when you are your age."

"I feel old," Buffy muttered.

"Oh hun, you're not old until you have a child." Lorelai said, as she laughed. "And even then it's all about skin care."

Buffy laughed. "Raising Dawn makes me feel like I have a child. Does that count?"

Lorelai shook her head. "If she didn't come out of you, it doesn't count."

Buffy grimaced at the imagery. " I'm going to have nightmare now."

Lorelai laughed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Buffy shook her head. " A world of no," she said. "But thanks. As the queen of procrastination, I can't believe I am going to say this, but I would rather work."

"Fair enough," Lorelai said. "The offer is always on the table."

Lorelai looked down at her plans as she began to go over preparations. Buffy smiled at her down turned head. It was nice to have a friend that knew her as Buffy and not the slayer. As her eyes scanned Lorelai's pretty features she found herself wondering how much easier it would be to be a lesbian and not have to worry about men.

"Mistletoe?" Lorelai asked.

Buffy's mind snapped back to reality. "Huh?"

"Mistletoe?" Lorelai asked again. " You sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine. Just a little spacey," Buffy said. "My bad. I'm completely yours," she said with a smile.

Lorelai smiled back. "Good," she said, returning to her plans.

Buffy felt something go between them and chalked it up to exhaustion. Pushing aside feelings of relationships Buffy concentrated on the task at hand.

* * *

Willow sat in the teacher's lounge pretending to enjoy the salad that sat in front of her. The fact was she couldn't even taste what she was chewing. Everything was done mechanically to keep up the appearance that she was just enjoying the lunch hour like everyone else.

Inside her stomach was in knots and her mind was racing. She hadn't spoken or seen Ashley all weekend. The spell had taken her mind off her for a while, but now it was Monday and back to normal and that girl was occupying her mind yet again. Willow figured she had valued reasons for not calling her…lusting for her best friend, fearing her other best friend was dead and sharing a house with a vampire were all in a weekend's work for her, what was Ashley's excuse? Had she been out with another women? It wasn't as if they were exclusive. They'd been on one date and made out a little. When you looked like Ashley, you probably didn't spend many nights sitting alone.

Willow checked the clock again. Only two minutes had gone by since the last time she checked. Where was she? Maybe she is avoiding me, Willow thought.

And then as if on cue, the door to the teacher's lounge open and in a whiff of fragrant air that made Willow's head spin, Ashley entered the lounge. Her eyes landed on Willow within seconds and a grin spread across her face that made Willow's stomach flip.

Willow noticed that most heads turned when Ashley entered a room. It made her feel extra special that Ashley didn't seem to notice them as she slide into a seat across from Willow.

"Hey Willow," Ashley said, setting down her tray. "How was your weekend?"

"Not very eventful," Willow said. And then she figured that Ashley might wonder why Willow didn't call her then and thought up an excuse. " Wasn't feeling that well." At least that part was true. Images of making out with Xander were enough to make her feel a little nauseous, sorry Xand, she thought.

"Poor baby," Ashley said with a sexy pout. " You should have called. I like any excuse to play candy stripper."

"You mean striper?" Willow blushed.

The corner of Ashley's lips turned up into a sexy half smile. " No."

Willow swallowed hard, but tried to remain just as flirtatious. " And here I was thinking chicken soup was the cure for what ails you."

"Chicken soup has nothing on a little TLC," Ashley informed her.

"Well next time I will definitely give you a call." Willow said.

"I can't wait that long," Ashley stated. "What about coffee tomorrow night?"

'What about tonight?' Willow thought. And then she immediately felt bad when she remembered that she was supposed to be concentrating on Kate. "Sounds great," Willow said.

"Good," Ashley said, sipping her coke. Willow beamed. Another date with Ashley was the cure for what ailed her. She couldn't wait! Willow could have laughed for worrying about anything, as clearly Ashley liked her. So what was she so worried about?

* * *

Xander wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his gloved hand. He set down his sledgehammer and told the guys he was taking a break. He headed over to the lunch station, glad to be in the shade. There may have been snow on the ground but with the sun shining the way it was, he was already sweating.

"Taking five?" a female said from behind him.

Xander turned and smiled at the office assistant, Brooke. " You're not going to tell on me are ya?" he asked.

Brooke smiled as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Only if you don't tell on me. This is like my fifth cup of coffee."

Xander smiled. "It's a deal." They made a show of shaking on it, before Brooke sat beside him on the picnic bench.

"How is the office stuff working out?" Xander asked.

Brooke shrugged. "Office like," she said with a smile.

The guys gave Xander a hard time about Brooke. After a couple of weeks on the job, Xander was the only one that Brooke had ever tried to talk to. Not that Xander minded. She was beautiful, but she was also the boss' daughter.

Straight from college, Brooke had come to help her dad out with the business set on starting her own one day. She was very strong and didn't seem to notice the leers the others gave her when she walked by, swinging her hips as if she were on a runway.

The guys would never say anything to her if they wanted to keep their jobs, and that gave Brooke a certain amount of power. But when she talked to Xander she was sweet and funny.

Even in a button down parka she was gorgeous. She was wearing a white wool cap, and her blonde hair flowed in ringlets out the bottom. A pair of black-rimmed glasses perched on the end of her nose, unable to hide the piercing blue eyes that lay behind them. Her cupid bow mouth was turned up at the sides in a secret smile as she caught him looking.

" Want a camera?" she asked.

Xander blushed, looking away quickly. " Well that's my cue to get back to work. The building won't build itself."

Brooke reached out to grab his arm before he could get away. "Hey Xander?"

He turned. "Yeah?"

" When were you going to ask me out?" she asked.

Xander coughed. "Ask you out?"

"Yeah," Brooke said confidently. " This playing hard to get thing is cute and all, and so much more with the sexy eye patch, but was there a point where you were going to ask?"

"Me playing hard to get?" he asked in disbelief.

"You have this whole unattainable thing going on," Brooke said. "Don't get me wrong-it's sexy, but give a girl a break."

"Unattainable?" Xander said again. " I'm not unattainable. I'm an attain-a-thon."

Brooke smiled her eyebrows rising in amusement. "You know there is a better word for that right?"

"Easy?" Xander asked, smiling back.

Brooke laughed. "Something like that."

"Well, alright then," Xander said. "When?"

"Uh no way mister," Brooke laughed. "I'm not doing all the work here."

"This weekend?" He asked.

"Sounds good," Brooke said. She handed him a card. "There's my number."

"A card. I feel so grown up," Xander laughed as he pocketed the card.

Brooke smiled as she turned to head back to the office. She turned just before heading through the door. "I never do this by the way," Brooke said.

Xander smiled. " Neither do I."

* * *

After school Dawn headed to the Inn to have an early dinner with Buffy before she headed home to do her homework. She hadn't forgot that she was supposed to meet Jess, and she was very aware every second she was away from the diner that he might be waiting.

'Let's see how he likes it' she thought. Part of her still wanted Jess, but the confusion of the weekend made her feel stupid for doing so. The crush had taken over her logic, and she learned the hard way that it wasn't worth it. It wasn't like love had made her do the wacky before. She'd almost killed herself on the train tracks once while under a love spell, and she couldn't forget her first kiss either-with a vampire. She truly was Buffy's sister-doomed to have bad relationships.

As she turned the corner by the diner she realized that she would have to pass it in order to get to her house. She crossed to walk on the other side of the street, but soon after she heard her name being called.

She turned to see Jess jogging after her. "What's up?" he asked, after catching his breath.

Dawn shrugged. "Nothing. You?"

"I thought we were supposed to meet up?" Jess asked.

"Oh. I forgot. Sorry," Dawn said, turning towards her house. "Why don't you just study with Rory?"

She hadn't meant to sound so bitter when she said that last part, but it was the girlyness in her coming out.

"Hey, wait a minute," Jess said catching her by the arm. "Is that what this is about?"

"It depends what you mean when you say this?" Dawn asked, crossing her arms.

"This little tantrum," Jess said.

"Tantrum?!" Dawn spat," this isn't a tantrum? This is indifference."

"Seems like anger to me," Jess said with an easy smile on his face. He was enjoying this Dawn thought angrily.

"I'm not angry Jess. I loved being used to make other people jealous."

It was the first time that the coolness of Jess' expression faltered. " I'm sorry," he said.

Dawn checked his features for a hint of insincerity and was surprised when she didn't find any. "It's fine," she said with a sigh.

"Let me make it up to you," Jess said as he rested his arm on hers.

"Like how?" Dawn asked, now intrigued.

Jess smiled. "I'll buy you something to eat."

"I ate," Dawn, said.

"Desert?" Jess asked.

Dawn looked down at the ground. "Say more things like that…" she said peeking at him beneath her lashes.

Jess laughed. "Lots of chocolate. Girls like chocolate right?"

Dawn laughed. "Ok, you're on."

Jess put his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the diner. The weight of his arm across her shoulders, and the heat of him pressed along her side made her stomach do flips. Just as they neared closer Dawn noticed Rory sitting inside with her books on top of the table. Dawn stopped in her tracks as she stared at Rory through the window. She turned to look at Jess, brushing his arm off her shoulders. Jess looked at her in surprise, and then followed her gaze.

"I can't believe you!" Dawn accused. "You were going to do it again."

"Wait a minute. You have this all wrong," Jess started.

"Ya, you're right. This is all wrong," she said turning on her heel.

"The project!" Jess yelled out, unable to think of anything else to say.

"I've just become a single parent," Dawn yelled over her shoulder.

Jess watched her retreating form. Cursing he kicked at a piece of garbage on the road and then dug his hands into his pockets. He turned to look back at Rory. Dean emerged from the washroom and joined his girlfriend.

"She's with Dean, not meeting with me," Jess mumbled even though Dawn was too far away to hear him.

* * *

Buffy set the phone down and booked a new guest into the computer when Michel hovered over her.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Lifting weights," Buffy replied sarcastically, "Want to spot me?"

"You think you are funny don't you?" He asked, his voice oozing contempt.

Buffy shrugged. "Most of the time. I do enjoy a good pun."

Michel glared at her. Buffy picked up the keyboard and starting doing reps with it. "See, this is comedy my French friend."

Michel didn't laugh. Buffy set the keyboard down. "I was just entering a guest Michel. Take a pill."

"I enter guests in the computer," Michel said.

"Well you weren't here when the phone rang, were you?" Buffy stated as she finished entering the last of the information.

"I was in the washroom," Michel said.

"Then you're welcome," Buffy said.

Michel wasn't amused. " Please move."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she moved down the counter. " Things are back to normal then," Buffy muttered.

"What was that?" Michel asked.

"Nothing," Buffy said smiling. She dropped down behind the counter to search for the invitations for the party.

"Hey do you know where Buffy is?" Came a voice.

Michel sighed. " She is down there," he said pointing down.

Spike raised his eyebrow at the suggestive comment. "Really?!"

Michel sighed. " Oh ha ha, Michel made a sexual comment. Americans."

"Hey, I'm English," Spike, said defensively.

"That is so much better," Michel said as he walked off. "Please feel free to take her."

Buffy stood up and smiled at Michel's retreating form. "He put you in your place," she said.

Spike leaned on the counter. "Bloody nancy boy."

"Now Spike, use your grown up words," Buffy said, sorting through her paperwork.

"Hey luv, I know it's hard me being here, but do you have a moment?"

"Why would it be hard for me that you are here?" Buffy said in a rush of words.

"You haven't looked at me once yet," Spike pointed out.

Buffy brought her head up and made a show of staring at him. "Better?"

"Do you want me to go?" Spike asked.

"No!" Buffy said a little too quickly.

Spike smiled. "Listen, I wouldn't normally just show up like this but I think I found a nest."

Buffy looked around her, worried that someone had heard. " Very stealthy, stealth guy."

"Sorry," Spike apologized. "Will you come?"

Buffy looked at her watch. "Yeah. Let me just go tell Lorelai."

As she walked away, she felt her heart begin to race. She had avoided him all day. Now, he was here. And he wanted to talk. That meant she would have to ask the questions she had been thinking of forever. And what did you think of them? Had he thought of her? What had happened in L.A.? More than anything, she wished she were back in bed, hiding away from the confrontation that was about to happen.

* * *

To Be Continued… 


	11. And the Earth Shook

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

Chapter 10

And the Earth Shook

A/N: Like I said I listen to music a lot. So just in case you want to know my inspiration.

Was listening to Hurt by Christina Aguilera during Buffy/Spike conversation.

For the rest I listened to Dead Parade by My Chemical Romance a lot. I find reading it while listening to these songs add a better effect ( so put these songs on if you have them if you want)….they do for me, but enjoy all the same.

* * *

Night had fallen a couple of hours ago and the air was colder. It started to snow softly as Buffy and Spike walked side by side through the cemetery. Buffy tensed and relaxed her hand around the stake in her hand as she walked.

They had been walking for about ten minutes in absolute quiet and it was starting to make her crazy. Even awkward conversation would be better than this deafening silence. Silence made her mind race with scenarios and thoughts that didn't have a point. All these thoughts that all lead to one conclusion-he had never really cared about her.

So that was one of the reasons she was actually grateful for the vamp that jumped out from the trees. Buffy turned and knocked him to the left, stunning him momentarily. Spike spun around at the commotion but was knocked to the ground by an attack from behind.

Buffy did a roundhouse of her vamp, taking his feet out from under him. "That was rude!" She said. "I think you need a time out."

The vamp lunged at her. Buffy grabbed him by the shoulders, buckled her legs under to do a backwards somersault, and used his momentum to flip him over her head. He landed with a loud thump onto his back. Buffy finished the somersault and sprang up in front of him. Before he could get to his feet, Buffy thrust the stake past his ribcage and into his heart.

Spike had just dusted his and walked over to Buffy. "You ok?"

She stretched her muscles like a cat. "Like riding a bike," she said with a smile. "Though the punning could use some work."

"It wasn't your best," Spike agreed with a smile.

"I was almost killed recently," Buffy said, "Sorta takes the cocky edge away. Give me time."

Then she turned and looked around her. "Was that it?"

"What do you mean?" Spike asked.

"Did you bring me out here for two vamps?" Buffy asked.

"No, there were more," Spike said then paused. " I was sure there were more."

Buffy didn't look impressed. "We've been down this route before Spike and déjà vu isn't what it used to be, so stop with the cryptic."

"I don't think I am understanding you luv," Spike said, "Which isn't a surprise."

Buffy frowned at that comment. "Not fair Spike. You show up out of nowhere and I get the blame here for the miscommunication? I'm not going further until you help me understand."

Spike sighed as he turned and sat down on a nearby bench. Buffy sat next to him, waiting.

" You know about the first time so I can skip that. About six months ago I was working with captain forehead saving the world as usual. There was a big apocalyptic battle. I fought. I died. Then I reappear at the Welcome to Stars Hollow sign about two weeks ago."

" You lost me in the middle," Buffy said. "You died in L.A. and then you just reappeared?"

"Don't look at me like that slayer, that's the truth."

"Cause I should believe a vampire, that supposedly loved me, was alive for a almost a year without trying to contact me. How do I know you'd be here now if you didn't just appear as you claim?"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "So that's what has your knickers in a twist? That I didn't come for you."

"We're getting off topic," Buffy mumbled, studying her hands.

"No I think this is what we should be talking about," Spike insisted.

"Fine," Buffy said bitterly. "Didn't you ever think to…?"

"Every day," Spike said softly.

Buffy was caught off guard by the pain in his voice. "Really?"

"From what I remember," Spike said. "That's another thing. When I came here I didn't have a lot of memory of what was between us. Of what happened."

"Do you remember us?" she asked.

"Only when I am around you," he answered honestly. " I feel different."

"How so?" Buffy asked.

Spike shrugged. "I don't know. I can't explain it. I feel like I am looking for the answers still."

"You and me both," Buffy said softly. "Spike, did you see what happened before you died?"

"See what luv?" Spike asked.

"Did you see," Buffy said, her voice starting to tremble. "Did you see Angel?"

Spike looked away and the gesture made Buffy's heart hit her stomach. "Did he?"

Spike looked back at her, remorse on his face. "I didn't see. Buffy it was….it was a crazy with everything going on. I didn't see a hell of a lot. But I don't think anyone made it out."

Buffy nodded, grief threatening to turn her to jelly right here in the graveyard. " He was waiting," she said under her breathe, "Until I was done being cookie dough." She said flashing back to their last conversation, which ironically, had been in a cemetery too.

"What's that luv?" Spike asked.

Buffy shook her head. "Nothing."

"He could still be out there," Spike said trying to comfort her. " He's got a hard head, probably due to the vasts amount of nancy boy hair gel."

Buffy laughed in spite of her grief and looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. "You should talk captain peroxide."

Spike laughed as he squeezed her knee. " I'm sorry I never came back. I didn't know what to say."

Buffy smiled. "No worries," she lied, " I'm used to the Buffy will never have a healthy relationship thing."

"Yes you will," he said honestly.

Buffy met his eyes. " You're going to leave again aren't you?" she said.

Spike looked away from her accusing eyes. " I don't know what will happen Buffy. But I am here now."

Buffy nodded, that was all she could ask for she supposed. There was a rustling in the trees to their left and both of them jumped to their feet, grateful for the interruption.

Buffy dove into the bushes, pulling a snarling vampire out. She threw him to the ground and lunged at him. The vampire kicked his leg out, sending her flying through the air. He was on top of her in seconds.

"Last words slayer?" he grunted into her ear.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with your dinner," Buffy shot back, throwing him off her. She pushed herself back, and then jumped to her feet in an effortless move.

They circled each other, daring the other to move first. Buffy saw Spike wrestling with another vampire over her shoulder. The vampire used this opportunity to lunge at her. She ducked out of the way and came up behind him and thrust the stake through his back, finding his heart easily.

He exploded into dust as Buffy turned to assist Spike. "I told you there were more Slayer," he grunted, from the ground that the vampire had just knocked him into.

Buffy grinned sheepishly. "So for once you tell the truth. Didn't you ever hear of the story of the boy that cried wolf?"

The vampire stood and stared between the two of them. "Umm, could we?" it rasped.

Buffy and Spike stared at him. "We're trying to have a conversation here," Buffy said.

"Yeah how rude," Spike said.

"I say we kill it," Buffy said.

"You're the slayer," Spike said with a shrug, as they both turned towards the vampire.

The vampire dove at Spike. Spike grabbed him in a headlock and the two wrestled while Buffy stood, bored.

"Boys, boys what's the problem?" came a voice from the street.

Buffy let the stake drop from her hand, and kicked in under some bushes. "Miss Patty!" she said loudly so that Spike could hear.

"Are they fighting over you dear?" Miss Patty whispered conspiratorially to Buffy.

Buffy smiled awkwardly. "Something like that."

"How romantic," Miss Patty said, as she stood by Buffy.

"My knees are buckling as we speak," Buffy giggled. God, she felt stupid. How could she get Miss Patty to leave?

"We should go," Buffy said, putting her arm on Miss Patty's elbow.

Miss Patty pulled out of her grasp easily. " My dear once you get older you'll regret not taking full advantage. My third husband used to get into fights for me, he didn't have the muscles that young boy has but he was very good."

"Who did he fight?" Buffy asked trying to take Miss Patty's eyes away from Spike, who was trying to play up the fact that it was a silly fight.

"My soon to be fourth husband," Miss Patty giggled. Buffy's eyes widened in surprise.

"Wow. Neat." Buffy said rolling her eyes.

"Stay away from my girl!" Spike yelled, tossing the vampire in the bushes so that they wouldn't see him explode into dust. Spike came out of the bushes moments later wiping dust off his jacket.

"My, you are strong," Miss Patty said, running her hand up Spike's arm.

"How's that now?" Spike said looking at Buffy for answers. Buffy just shrugged as she enjoyed his discomfort.

"You know," Miss Patty whispered to him," I run a dance school just across the road there. You should come by, you're very lithe aren't you?"

Buffy choked back a laugh. " He really is Miss Patty," Buffy said. " You should get him in your ballet class. Ooh Oooh, and you should put him in tights!" Buffy, excitedly, added

Spike glared at Buffy. " I don't dance," he said to Miss Patty. If he killed humans, now would be a time.

"You're very Billy Idol aren't you sweetie?" Miss Patty asked. " I guess the style never goes out of fashion." She said the last part to Buffy who just suppressed a giggle.

"That ponce stole his look from me," Spike said under his breath.

"What was that?" Miss Patty asked.

Buffy decided now was a good time to step in. " He was just saying that we have a thing to get to. We will talk to you later Miss Patty," Buffy said.

"Ok dears! Remember to come by the class sometime."

"We will," Buffy said, as she steered Spike away from here. Once they were out of earshot Buffy burst into laughter.

"That wasn't funny," Spike said.

"Yes it was," Buffy said.

Spike ran a hand over his hair, " Is this outdated?"

The statement made Buffy nearly double over in laughter. " You're over a hundred years old Spike, you ARE outdated."

Spike smiled. " Especially with lines like 'stay away from my girl'" Buffy said. "What was that?"

"Hey, it wasn't easy to think on the spot pet," Spike said. " I remember you saying something about your knees buckling?" Spike added with a sexy smile on his face.

"I was role playing," Buffy said quickly.

Spike smiled as they walked back to the house, a slightly lighter air about them. It felt just like old times.

* * *

When Dawn got home her mood was instantly lightened when she saw the gang (including Spike) sitting around the living room.

She hung up her coat and stepped into the doorway. It warmed her heart to see everyone sitting together talking and laughing like old times.

"Hey all," Dawn said.

A chorus of hi's came from around the room. Dawn went over to sit on the floor in front of Willow. It was always her favorite place to sit, because Willow would always play with her hair when she sat in front of her.

"So what are we all talking about?" Dawn asked as she grabbed a vacant bag of chips.

"We're discussing the option that Xander's date could be evil," Buffy said with a giggle.

"I'm not counting it out," Xander said, not bothering to defend his date. "I mean why try and fight it, I tend to attract those of the demon variety."

"You really do have a sucky choice in girls," Willow agreed.

"Yep, yep. Laugh it up," Xander said. " The fact that I am pathetic has earned me the last brownie I think," he said, reaching for the last brownie.

"Hey I think you are forgetting Buffy the vampire layer over there," Willow laughed.

"Hey!" Buffy said swatting her.

"It's true!" Willow said in her defense.

"But still…ouch," Buffy said, wrapping her arms around her knees. Her pout soon turned to a smile though. "So the chocolaty goodness is mine then?" She reached for the brownie.

" I changed genders," Willow protested, " I mean I changed gender of the people I dated when my ex werewolf boyfriend cheated on me."

"That doesn't count," Xander said. "That just gives you 100 of the population to copulate with."

"Young ears in the room," Dawn said. " Don't say copulate."

Xander laughed. "So Willow's out." He said, "Pardon the pun."

"Oh ha ha, "Willow said.

"What about me?" Dawn asked. " First kiss was a vampire…."

"Taking after her big sis," Spike said.

Buffy threw the pillow at him. "I'll have you know my first kiss wasn't with a vampire."

"Your first shag was," Spike said.

Buffy glared. "Still wasn't my first kiss."

"Oh well then," Spike laughed.

Dawn looked between the two, rolling her eyes. "Anyway," she continued. " Then the second guy made me fall under a love spell that had me almost killing myself, because he wanted someone else…"

"Again, because of Buffy," Willow pointed out.

"Is this attack Buffy day? Oh ha ha, Buffy is a big slut," Buffy laughed.

"Admitting it, is the first step," Xander said comfortingly. He ducked as Buffy took a swing at him.

"And then," Dawn said, " The third guy had me doing a love spell that had people kidnapped. Brownie is so mine."

"What about me?" Spike said.

"First of all," Buffy began," You don't eat. And second of all you killed people."

"Fair enough," Spike said with a smile.

Dawn reached for the brownie. "Hey, I think I won," Buffy said.

"You've been in love, I haven't. I win," Dawn, said as she popped the last of the brownie in her mouth.

Buffy found herself glancing at Spike with that first comment and then looked away quickly.

"Doesn't matter, not much for deserts these days anyway," Buffy said, thinking of her recent donut fetish.

"So we're here to discuss Kate," Dawn said. "Right?"

"Absolutely," Buffy said. And there was a definite shift in the room as the conversation turned to more serious matters.

"So what did I miss?" Dawn asked.

"Not too much," Willow said. " Usually we would try and figure out why they want her, but we don't have a lot of time. As per usual. We don't even know what we are dealing with here."

"A creepy robed thing?" Dawn volunteered.

"That seems to appear out of thin air and can take you from one place to another without you even realizing it," Buffy added.

"That is troublesome," Dawn, said.

"I was thinking invisibility," Willow suggested. "But this guy senses magic, so it would have to be done beforehand. And I think I should do a spell before we go and hope that is holds. Or I could try to mess up our energy so it has trouble sensing us."

"Can you do that?" Buffy asked.

" I think so," Willow said as she looked over her notes. " But once I am in there he might be able to break my concentration."

"So you should stay outside?" Buffy asked.

"I think that's the only way. Me and Dawn can stay outside." Willow said.

"I like the plan where I don't go into those creepy sewers," Dawn agreed.

"How does that work Will?" Buffy asked.

"Well everything is made up of different kinds of energy," Willow explained. "And there are different frequencies. Take Spike, for example, as a vampire he has a heightened sense of sight and hearing. That is because demons, vampires and people who had passed on have a higher energy frequency."

"Spike is on a higher frequency?" Xander asked. "No wonder he doesn't make any sense."

Spike held up two fingers in an offensive gesture. "Continue Will," Buffy said with a roll of her eyes.

"This guy operates on a higher frequency. To patch into our frequency he has to lower his. It's like what a psychic would do to communicate with the dead in reverse. This takes a lot of energy, which is probably why he let us go, because Kate wasn't secured."

"That's why more and more vampires are arriving," Buffy said. " He's building an army."

Willow nodded in agreement.

"Then why patch into our energy at all?" Dawn said. "Why not just be a regular nasty?"

"Because I don't think he or it, is up to full power. Right now his best defense is an offense, really. He uses fancy tricks to stop us and distract us. He even said to Dawn and I that he wasn't planning on making a move yet, but because Dawn's spell had us distracted he thought he would act then. I also don't think he is corporeal yet." Willow explained.

"Like the first?" Buffy asked, feeling a little on edge at fighting that again.

"Not as powerful," Willow said, " Or it would have been worse right from the beginning."

As the mention of the First, Xander reached out and touched Spike's leg. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" Spike snapped.

Xander shrugged. "Just checking that you were touchable."

"Next time, you pull back a bloody stump," Spike said.

Xander held up his hands in defeat. "You're dead and the first can take over any dead thing it wants. It made you its bitch one time, it could have done it again."

"I was nobody's bitch," Spike retorted, looking wounded.

"Well now that, that is cleared up," Buffy said sarcastically. "Do you think it will try to find a body? Something I can fight."

"Is that what Kate is for?" Xander asked.

Willow shrugged. " I don't know."

"So it brings us back to figuring out what's so special about Kate," Buffy said.

"Maybe not," Spike spoke up. " Maybe it is because she's nothing special. As the slayer you'll figure it's your duty to save her, but you'd wait longer to rescue her than you would if it were your baby sis."

"Giving him more time to do whatever he has to do to Kate," Xander said, stealing the eureka moment from Spike. "I think overbite has a point."

Spike muttered something under his breath.

"But letting us go could only give us time to get more powerful," Dawn pointed out.

"He only has to be a little more powerful than you nibblet," Spike said.

"And if Willow and Xander are right, he will get more powerful too," Buffy pointed out.

"So what about this plan?" Buffy asked Willow.

"First I can make you guys invisible to get past whatever road blocks he has, though it will have to be through a potion and I can't guarantee how long it will last as all my energy will go towards maintaining the energy field. I will do a spell to mix up your guy's frequencies and that will make him expel a lot of energy to try and locate you."

Buffy tried to take it all in, but all this talk about energy was starting to drain hers. "So when can we do this Will?" Buffy asked. "I don't want to give him any more time than I have to."

Willow calculated the time in her head. " Well I need about thirty minutes for the invisibility spell and about ten minutes with each of you for the energy switch."

"Don't we get the group discount if we all go in together?" Xander asked.

"We're all different," Willow explained. " And it would be much harder to pinpoint single frequencies than a mass."

"All this talk of frequencies and technical terms is going to make me blow a gasket," Buffy said. "Let's keep it simple. Them, bad…us, good. Fire, bad. Tree, pretty."

Willow grabbed her books and headed upstairs. "Just give me half an hour of meditation before you come up."

* * *

Dawn stood beside Willow at the entrance of the tunnel inside the crypt. Dawn had done meditation before so it wasn't hard to center herself as Willow instructed.

The night smelled of fresh fallen snow and the wind blew ominously against the sides of the concrete crypt. Dawn felt a shutter ran down her back as the trees creaked against strain of the wind.

The girls sat across from each other, with their legs crossed. They held their arms in front of each other, pressing their palms together. Buffy, Spike and Xander had disappeared down the tunnel about five minutes ago. Three candles sat between them with the flames, dancing and straining against the wind, but staying strong.

Dawn's job was to perform as the vessel for Willow so that her circle was complete. Willow began a low chant deep in her throat. Dawn tried to concentrate as much as she could, but the chant that came from Willow seemed like it wasn't even coming from Willow anymore, instead the voice seemed to be filling every spare inch of the room.

Suddenly Willow's head shot up as her pupils dilated so much that her entire eye was now black. A white glow started at the roots of her hair and then spread throughout her hair, making it white. She was a goddess. A white glow spun around the room and then began to circle them, lifting them off the ground as they sat.

Dawn felt warmth wrap itself around her and she felt like she was drowning in it. Burning up from the inside. Dawn found her center and let the feeling take over as every part of her body felt like it was humming with energy. Her vision was blurry, her ears ringing and voices called out to her from all around the room.

The pressure grew and grew and then the candles blew out. Both Willow and Dawn felt a sharp pain hit their faces that made them gasp in surprise. Then both of them flew backwards hitting the opposite walls with a loud smack, and then everything went black.

* * *

"We should have a theme song or something," Xander whispered.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"A theme song. The song rises as the good guys go off to fight the evil. You would think we would have a theme song."

"I can't fight with a theme song," Buffy pointed out.

"Why? It has bars doesn't it?" Xander said, snorting at his own joke.

Buffy rolled her eyes. " I am not even touching that one."

"It was a little funny," Xander said.

"You are a little funny in the head," Spike said.

"Shut up over bite," Xander muttered.

"Could we not?" Buffy whispered.

They walked in silence for awhile.

"If we are invisible, how come I can see you?" Xander whispered to Buffy, as they made their way down the tunnels.

"Because we are on the same frequency now," Buffy explained.

"That was the energy thing," Xander pointed out.

Buffy sighed. "Then I have no idea."

"So maybe we aren't really invisible," Xander pointed out.

Just then a vampire headed towards them. "Time to test," Xander said.

"Xander!" Buffy said in a hushed whisper, reaching out to grab him back.

Xander stood in front of the vampire and started to do the snoopy dance. He started pretending to fight with the vampire. Buffy tried to suppress the smile that was playing across her lips. Spike rolled his eyes.

"Can't see me can ya? Big stupid dead guy!" Xander said, flinging his fists.

Buffy sighed. Spike rolled his eyes again, grabbing his stake. " But he can hear you…wanker," Spike said.

Xander looked sheepish. "Oops."

Spike grabbed the surprised vampire by his collar and threw him against the wall and Buffy staked him. "No more words from brain trust other here," Spike said, pointing over his shoulder to Buffy.

Xander stood beside Buffy. "Sorry, I got a little too into it."

"Just stay quiet Xand," Buffy said. They continued down the tunnels. Willow had made a map to lead them to where they were taken.

Twenty minutes in, the tunnels ended abruptly and they found themselves in a huge cavern. "Oooh, this place looks like it's right out of a horror movie," Buffy said as she looked around at her surroundings.

"So where's the bad guy?" Xander whispered from behind her.

They made their way, Buffy in the lead, through the winding path. She didn't like the atmosphere. Fires were lit everywhere, so something had made its home here, so where was everyone? As Buffy neared the top of a small hill, she peered down into the blackness, and leaning against the rock wall, was Kate.

"There's the bait," Buffy whispered, "So where's the toy surprise?"

Just then the earth started to shake. Buffy felt the ground shift beneath her feet, pitching her head first over the edge. "Buffy," Spike yelled out, reaching out for her.

Buffy felt like her stomach flew into her throat as she was pitched downward. Luckily she remembered to tuck and roll at the last second which made the impact not so hard. She lay there slightly dazed for a few moments as the earth rose and fell beneath her.

Xander worked their way down to where Buffy lay. Xander pulled her to her feet and steadied her. "That cut looks nasty," Xander said, looking at the gash above her eyebrow. " Are you ok?"

Buffy tested her wrist. "I think I sprained my wrist, and my body has a new batch of bumps I never had before, but that seems to be the extent of the damage." She looked around her. "Where is Spike?"

"He's staying up there to act as lookout," Xander explained.

The earth stopped shaking as they drew closer to Kate. Kate heard them coming closer and her head shot up in fear.

"We're here, don't worry," Buffy said, making her way over the cracks in the earth to untie her.

"What?" Kate said, her eyes looking around her wildly. "Who's there?"

"We're invisible Buffy," Xander pointed out.

Buffy untied Kate and pulled her to her feet. "Come on," Buffy whispered to Kate.

The earth had stopped its shaking enough that they could make there way easily through the cavern and begin the climb back to the top. A hand grabbed Buffy's and pulled her up over the edge. She stumbled slightly but steadied herself. "Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome," came a deep voice.

Buffy jumped with fear as she found her wrist trapped in the robed figure's hand. "So you're corporeal then," she muttered. " Good to know."

She swung her leg up and aimed it at the figure's head. The figure moved fast, ducking her leg, and twisting her arm painfully behind her back. "You're quick slayer, but you'll find I'm quicker."

Buffy grunted with pain as her arm threatened to snap. "I'm also supposed to be invisible."

"I can smell you," he said.

Buffy frowned. " I knew I should switch to unscented shampoo, but damn it if it isn't my girly side giving in," she said through clenched teeth.

"Always making with the jokes," he said.

"What can I say, it's a self defense mechanism," she said, "Luckily I also have other self dense mechanisms."

She kicked off on the rock in front of her, twisting out of his grasp, and flipping over his head. She landed a kick in the small of his back that sent him toppling over the side of the cavern. "Run!" Buffy yelled, as she pulled a semi-conscious Spike, to his feet.

Xander grabbed Kate's hand and took off into the tunnel with Buffy and Spike close behind. They ran as fast as they could as a loud growl came from the cavern behind them. The ground began to crack behind them as they raced through the passageways.

Buffy looked behind her only once, to see the ground begin to cave in on itself behind them in an all too familiar déjà vu. "Hurry!" she screamed.

They pushed themselves forward faster, their lungs feeling like they would explode with the exertion. Then they saw a small flicker of light as they rounded the tunnel and it felt like a saving grace.

With one last push they ran from the tunnels into the crypt.

Buffy turned just in time to watch the entrance of the tunnel close up behind them. The candles went out with the rush of wind that went through the crypt. Buffy searched the room for Dawn and Willow. The blanket and candles were still sitting there but Dawn and Willow weren't.

Buffy felt like she was about to have a heart attack. "Dawn? Willow?" she asked, panic rising in her voice. She knew it must have been too easy.

Then, thankfully, she heard a small sigh from behind the stonewall. Buffy ran over and found Willow lying on her back. She crouched down beside her. "Will, are you ok?" Buffy asked.

Willow's face had three long gashes down her face as if she'd been attacked by something with claws. "Dawn?" she said weakly, before her head lulled to the side.

"She's over here," came Spike's voice. Buffy turned to see Spike holding an unconscious Dawn in his arms.

"We have to get them out of here," Buffy said. Xander walked over to Willow and scooped him up. Kate walked forward. "What is going on?" she asked weakly.

"It's a little confusing," Buffy started to explain, and then stopped. Kate wasn't' talking to her, she was looking over Buffy's shoulder at Spike, with a look of surprise, confusion and fear.

Buffy figured he had his vamp face on, but when she looked Spike had his human face on and was staring at her the same way. " Katya?" Spike whispered.

"William?" Kate whispered, and then crumbled to the ground in a dead faint.

The room was deathly quiet, everyone not knowing what to say or how to respond. Buffy looked between Spike and Kate. "Great, another person to carry," Buffy quipped.

* * *

To Be Continued… 


	12. I Will Remember You

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

Chapter Eleven **I Will Remember You**

**A/N**: If you have the song Hurt by Christina Aguilera you should listen to it on repeat when you read this chapter. That or I will remember you by Sarah McLaughlin

**Italics indicate flashb**acks.

* * *

The gang gathered back at the house to attend to the wounded. No one was talking about the huge bomb that had been dropped, but there was definitely an elephant in the room, as they went through the movements.

Buffy's scratches were already starting to heal, and her ankle was a dull throb by the time they reached home. Willow and Dawn were treated for their face wounds, which didn't appear as deep as Buffy had feared. She figured they were merely a warning, but that was something else she didn't have the answers for at this time.

Kate was awake and paler than any vampire, Buffy had ever seen. She was wrapped in a blanket and cuddled on the end of the couch, furthest away from Spike. Every once and awhile she cast a furtive glance over at him, before looking quickly away. Spike, who didn't worry about comfort, was staring at her with an unreadable expression.

Normally, after a fight, they would see what the injuries were and treat them accordingly before getting a good night's sleep. But there were still unanswered questions and Buffy figured it would be a long night.

After treating injuries, Buffy and Willow sat on the couch with Kate. Spike sat in the armchair, leg crossed so that his ankle rested on his knee and his arms crossed over his chest. He was the essence of defensiveness.

" Ok, scoobies will come to a meeting," Buffy said dramatically, in hopes to lighten the mood.

"Case of "what the hell?" to commence," Dawn added in, as she stared between Kate and Spike.

"That's a question I have been asking myself for the past hour nibblet," Spike said. He addressed the comment to Dawn, but his eyes never left Kate. Kate felt the weight of his cool blues on her face, and felt herself flush under the intensity of it.

"How do you know Spike?" Buffy asked Kate.

Kate shrugged. "I don't know him."

"You said his name," Buffy said," well, his mortal name."

Kate looked between Buffy and Spike. " I know that I said William. And for a brief moment things became clear, but after I blacked out I didn't remember anything. It was only for a moment and then it was gone."

"Convenient," Spike said under his breath. Buffy glared at him, before turning back to Kate.

Kate picked at the lint of the blanket, wishing she were anywhere but here. Then a thought occurred to her and she looked at Buffy. " Did you say mortal?"

Buffy's eyes widened. " You got that eh? Well, there are some things we need to explain. Don't wig out, but things aren't always what they seem."

"Those things you thought existed under your bed but knew couldn't be there in daylight….well, they are real. Vampires, demons, witches, dimensions and everything. Totally real." Xander said.

"Well that was summed it up," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "Remember my idea of easing her into all that Xand? We don't want to freak you out Kate."

Kate shook her head. " It doesn't freak me out at all," Kate said. And then she smiled. "Actually it is starting to make a weird kind of sense."

Buffy smiled. " I remember that feeling. It's scary as hell and yet comforting to finally know you aren't completely insane."

Kate smiled. Then she turned to look at Spike. "So you aren't William?"

"I was. When I was human." Spike said.

"What are you now?" Kate asked.

Xander laughed. " Excellent question. The jury is still out on that one."

"A vampire luv," Spike said.

Kate snorted a laugh of shock. " A…a vampire? A vampire."

"Grade A, no pulse, stake through the heart blood sucker," Xander replied.

"I think she knows what a vampire is mate," Spike muttered.

Kate stared between the two of them as if they were crazy. " Vampire. Aren't vampires evil?" she said.

"Well, yes. Normally." Willow said.

"But Spike is…not evil. Anymore, anyway," Dawn said. " He's a good guy now. He's family." Dawn smiled at Spike at the last part.

Spike smiled in return. " Thanks nibblet."

"What are you Kate?" Dawn asked.

Kate looked offended at first, and then searched the room as if it would offer up answers. " I'm… human."

"Then how?" Willow started.

"The robed thing did tell me that he knew me," Kate began, " He said that I had left an impression on him in Ireland. He also said that it was over a hundred years ago."

"And you don't remember anything?" Buffy asked. " Like, oh I don't know, walking around the earth for over a hundred years?!"

"Look, it's crazy ok?" Kate said defensively. " Why would I lie about this? It doesn't exactly make me look sane."

" It's just that something bad is going on, and for all we know you are in on it," Buffy said. "How do we know that you didn't plan all this to get back here with us?"

"Wait a minute. Spike, you said you knew her right? When you were William?" Willow asked.

"That's right Red. Only I knew her when I was a vampire, not human. And she was called Katya."

"Then why did she call you William?" Willow asked. "I always thought you took the name Spike when you were a vampire?"

"Because that's what I told her my name was," Spike answered, his eyes still lingering on Kate.

"Ok let's stop this game of beating around the bush," Buffy said. "How about you just come out and tell us what you did to her, what was she to you?"

The corner of Spike's mouth turned up in a sexy grin, as he toyed with the lighter between his fingers. " An obsession."

"What?!" Everyone chorused.

"Like stalking her and her friends, like a big undead thing?" Xander asked.

"Who am I?" Kate asked.

Spike looked at her, and for the first time Kate was looking him straight in the eyes. " I met you in Romania luv. You were a gypsy."

"A gypsy?" Buffy asked, her voice giving away her thoughts of Angel.

Spike smiled at her. " That's right goldilocks. She was a member of the clan that cursed your dear Angel."

* * *

_He had watched her from his hiding spot in the bushes behind the caravan. She had fascinated him immediately, her face unable to hide the raw emotion she felt. Pain and sorrow was etched into every feature on her beautiful face. _

_She wasn't what many would call beautiful; she was too exotic for that. He could chalk that up to her Romanian heritage. Her hair was a black as a raven's feathers that shone with a bluish tint under the moonlight. It cascaded down past her shoulders in an endless ripple of waves._

_Her almond shaped eyes were an, impossibly, light green (he'd noticed them when the flames of the fire had caught her face in the light) under a thick layer of black lashes. Her full, strawberry colored, lips were turned down at the sides in sorrow._

_Tears streaked the planes of her high cheekbones and olive skin. She looked like she belonged in a Greek myth. As beautiful as she was, it wasn't her beauty that called to him. It was the pain and vulnerability that ebbed off her in waves. He remembered, clearly, that feeling which had inspired his poetry not too long ago._

_His carnal hunger began to turn into a need to possess this rare beauty first, before killing her. The source of her pain was his sire, Angelus. Angelus had killed a member of her clan. More than that, the victim had been her sister._

_Right now, Darla was planning an attack on the caravan to make them take the curse that had left Angelus a whimpering baby. As soft as peaches, Spike thought to himself._

_Spike had gone along hoping for a buffet of the gypsy variety. And yet, as he watched this girl, an idea began to form._

_Angelus had accused him of acting like a young pup; acting without thought. This way of acting had led them to seek refuge in the sewers many times. Angelus never wasted an opportunity to point out of Spike that he lacked the finesse of a good kill. He lacked the patience of hunting his prey, driving them to the point of breaking before killing them._

_Spike clenched his teeth until his jaw ached. He'd show Angelus he was better than him, by doing something Angelus had never been able to do. To kill this girl, he thought wickedly, he'd have to love her._

_

* * *

_

" To kill her, you'd have to love her?" Buffy repeated. " Just when I thought vampires couldn't get any creepier."

"Do you have selective memory?" Xander said, " He's a vampire! And his sire was Angelus was the ultimate creep. Why am I the only one not surprised here?"

Willow looked at Kate who was paler than before. "Are you ok?"

Kate shrugged. "No more than I was before."

Willow smiled. "You'll learn to take that as a good thing."

Kate smiled weakly. "Yay."

"Does any of this sound familiar?" Dawn asked.

"More like a story I feel I've heard before," Kate answered after a moment. " But nothing other than that."

"May I?" Spike asked.

"Yes continue," Buffy said.

* * *

_People ran like chickens with their heads cut off. In their terror they didn't have the sense to run away, they just ran around in circles screaming into the night air._

_Darla was ' coaxing' the leader into changing Angelus back with empty promises. Spike couldn't have that because it would ruin his plans. He jumped into the nearest caravan and feasted on the nearest person. He didn't have time to enjoy his kill, but time would make up for it._

_He stumbled, drunk on blood, outside. He belched loudly to draw Darla and the gypsy's attention. Darla rolled her eyes, before killing the leader before he could scream._

_"You couldn't wait?" Darla hissed._

_Spike shrugged acting as innocently as possible. "We'll have to find another way," Darla said as she gathered up her skirts and drifted back into the woods._

_Drusilla wrapped her arms around Spike's waist. " The voices in my head are screaming," she said in her dreamy daze._

_"That would be the screaming of the gypsies luv," Spike said, resting his head against hers._

_"It fills my head," she said. The tip of her tongue traced the line of her upper lip as she looked demurely up at him._

_"Go back to the house pet, and I'll bring you something that will fill your stomach," Spike said, splaying his fingers over the flat plane of her stomach._

_Drusilla mimicked biting him, snapping her teeth at the end. "I will go name all the stars while you are gone," she said. " Miss Edith won't be able to watch as she's been naughty." Drusilla pouted._

_"I will be home soon my love," Spike said, pressing his lips against hers._

_The screaming had died down, now that the threat seemed to be gone. Spike hid from the crowd as he walked towards the woods. The young girl was standing on the outside of the crowd, looking in. A feeling he knew all too well._

_"Are you alright?" He asked, as he drew nearer._

_She jumped visibly, her hand flying to her throat. " I'm not one of them," Spike said. "I hunt them."_

_"You are a vampire hunter?" She asked, her voice giving away her uneasiness. Her eyes scanned the length of him._

_"Yes," Spike said, searching his mind for a name that she would know. " I work for Holtz."_

_The name seemed to work. Her eyes widened as she took a deep breathe. "So he's heard then? That Angelus has been cursed? My father said that they were sending one to see."_

_Spike nodded. This was so easy, he thought. "What is your name?" she asked._

_"William," he answered. He couldn't very well tell her his name was Spike. And then he remembered that she had said someone had been sent. Had they given them a name? He should have waited until he could get the name out of her. This was a lot harder than he thought. All he wanted to do was grab her and have her right there in front of her family._

_"Katya," she said extending her hand._

_Spike took her warm hand in his. His fingertips brushed along her wrist and he felt the steady beats of her pulse as the blood ran through her veins. Blood. He felt his face start to change and looked down at the ground trying to calm himself._

_"Are you alright?" She asked._

_"Fine," he lied. "Are you alright?"_

_She smiled. That act lit up her entire face and if he had breath, it would be taken away at the sight of her. " I was told to explain the curse to you," Katya said._

_Spike took her hand and led her over to the open meadow. It was dangerous to take her away from her family, but he didn't want to risk them seeing him. A large tree stood over to the side, and they sat under it._

_The moon was bright in the sky and their only source of light. Katya settled down and Spike sat beside her, as she began to talk._

* * *

"I need some coffee," Willow muttered. "Can we take a small break?"

Buffy nodded and got up to help Willow get some coffee. When they were alone in the kitchen, Willow turned to Buffy.

"Is it difficult?" She asked Buffy. "Hearing about Spike back then?"

"No more than usual," Buffy said. " I mean there are things in his past that I know he did. I'm always aware of it. But actually hearing a story of it just makes me wig a little."

"Makes it harder to remember him as soulful Spike," Willow agreed.

"There must have been a happy ending though," Buffy said. " I mean she's alive."

Willow poured the coffee. "True. Which brings up another question."

"What?" Buffy asked.

"Did he turn her?" Willow asked.

"She's been out in the daylight," Buffy said. "There's no way she's a vampire."

Willow nodded. "Then what?"

"That is the question," Buffy said. " Come on, I hear chapter two about to start."

* * *

"We kept our meetings a secret," Spike began again," her elders knew that she was meeting with a vampire hunter, but I never met with any of them, under the delusion that I didn't want to be well known in case word spread to the vampires. The less they knew of me, the better. It wasn't the best excuse, but they seemed to stay away…for awhile."

"We spent every night together, which was easy enough to get away with as I was acting as their protector. It was easy to get away with it," Spike explained. "Sometimes too easy."

"They never suspected anything?" Dawn said.

"No nibblet, not once. The fear that another would be killed made them keep to themselves. They were still in mourning for their daughter." Spike answered.

Kate sat, unblinking, as she listened to the story. Every once and awhile she would close her eyes as if trying to remember it for herself.

"Katya was a strong woman," Spike said, " She liked being the leader and so she never doubted anything either. She had no reason to believe I was anything than what I said I was."

"So you acted like you loved her?" Xander said with disgust.

"Yes," Spike said. "And she believed me."

Kate closed her eyes; a feeling of unrequited love began to wash over her. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed and the feeling of loneliness was starting to wash over her.

"Do you remember?" Buffy asked.

Kate shook her head. "Not completely."

"We talked about vampires and my made up adventures at first," Spike continued, smiling now as he remembered. "And then she began to open up. She told me about her sister, about how she was always second best. How her she felt that her family had wished it were her that died, and not their beloved daughter."

"Are you alright?" Buffy asked Kate, resting her hand on Kate's forearm. Kate didn't realize until she looked at Buffy's concerned face that her cheeks were damp with tears.

Kate nodded her head. "I'm ok."

"Do you want me to stop luv?" Spike asked, the concern evident in his face as well.

"Maybe we should continue this tomorrow…or later today," Buffy suggested as she glanced at the clock. "The sun will be coming up soon anyway."

Kate nodded slowly. " Do you want to stay here?" Buffy asked.

Kate nodded; too tired to attempt going home. "Thank you."

Everyone got to their feet. Buffy led Kate to the bottom of the stairs. Kate turned and looked over her shoulder. " Spike?" She said quietly. Spike looked up at her, his expression unreadable. "Did I love you?"

The pain from that question ebbed off her in waves, and everyone in the room felt the weight of that question. Spike nodded. " Yes," he said. " At least you told me you did."

Kate nodded once, before allowing Buffy to lead her up the stairs.

* * *

_Spike searched the woods for a sign of her. She had told him to meet her here. His eyes searched the darkness of the meadow, where they'd first met almost a month ago now. There was no sign of her._

_A weird feeling seemed to take over him. Was it concern? Fear? He pushed them aside. Hanging around a human for so long must have rubbed off on him. Tonight was the night._

_Tonight he would kill her. She loved him, which he could feel. From the way her eyes burned into his, how her cheeks would flush when he'd touch her face, or the way her heart would beat faster every time he would get close to her. Everything screamed out to him, but still he wouldn't give in. He wouldn't kill her, not until she was in love with him. And now she was._

_She reminded him of a doe, her eyes wide and curious. The way she would move towards something, but then jump back fearful. She'd never been with a man; he could almost taste the innocence around her. When they were together, however, her curiosity would excite him._

_Finally a flicker of light called to him from the thicket of trees to the right of him. He moved towards them. Behind the thicket there was a large opening of a cave. Spike stepped through the opening and his mouth dropped in surprise._

_Hundreds of white candles were spread throughout the small cave, making the rocks seem soft with its glow. The biggest surprise was what he found in the center of them. Surrounded by hundreds of petals, laying on a fur draping was Katya._

_She was wearing a white dress that clung to every delicious curve. A corset bounded in her stomach and made her breasts swell over the top. The dress was cut in layers around her legs, so that one leg was completely bare, giving him an ample view of thigh._

_Her hair was loose and in waves around her almost bared breasts. Her eyes were wide and her lips lifted in a smile when his eyes drifted over her. She was breathtaking. The glow of the candles seemed to illuminate her and she glowed like a goddess._

_She couldn't have set the scene more perfectly. Spike felt the hunger begin to grow. Her family would find her like this tomorrow morning, thinking he'd gone to the trouble of laying out the scene. He'd have to thank her for this the moment before her heart stopped._

_"William?" Her voice seemed to come from far away. It sounded small in this place._

_"Katya? What is this?" Spike asked as he looked around._

_Slowly, she got to her feet and walked towards him. She rested her hands on his chest, and tilted her head to look up at him. "I have to tell you something."_

_Spike nodded. "What's that luv?"_

_Katya drew a shaky breath. " I love you."_

_He had known this, and yet the words on her lips did something to him. But, he thought to himself, she loved a lie. She loved William, not Spike. It should have been an empty sentiment, and for a fleeting second, he found himself wishing he were William. The vampire hunter. Her protector._

_Spike cursed himself for thinking these useless feelings. Katya lips started to tremble._

_"Why won't you kiss me William?" She whispered against his lips._

_Spike stared into her eyes. He cupped her cheek with the palm of his hand, running his thumb over her lips. He leaned in closer and brushed her lips softly with his own. His lips molded over hers, deepening the kiss. Kate tensed for a brief moment, and then adjusted to the rhythm. Spike pulled away, the lust for the kill was starting to excite him._

_"Why won't you hold me?" She asked, stepping in closer._

_Because I'd kill you in a heartbeat, he thought. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her roughly against him, making her cry out in surprise. He brought one hand up and tilted her head to the side, and ran his lips along the side of her neck. Katya moaned softly, as her hands dug into the fabric of his shirt._

_He felt his face change as he began to nibble. She was ready for it. He had done it; he'd show Angelus that he wasn't a young pup anymore. " I love you," she moaned against his collar. Why did she keep saying that?_

_Spike felt every muscle in his body tense. Suddenly his face changed back to human as he turned to look at her. She was so innocent, so pure. Maybe he'd have her first. It would be a waste to kill her now._

_Spike cupped her face in his hands as he brushed his lips over hers, softly at first. The tip of his tongue came out and ran along her lower lip. Her lips parted under his as his tongue slipped inside. He caressed her tongue with his and then darted around every inch of her mouth, tasting her. _

_Katya clutched onto his collar, fearing that her knees would buckle under her. Spike broke the kiss and Katya cried out at the loss. He turned her around gently and began to work the laces of her corset, while his lips kissed and nibbled her shoulders. He threw the corset down to the ground._

_His fingers slipped under the straps of her dress and he pulled them up and down the curve of each shoulder, kissing the bare skin as he went. He pushed the dress down and it floated in white layers to the ground at her feet._

_She stood completely naked in front of him now. He kissed down along her spine, his hands around her front, fingers splayed across her flat stomach. Kate felt her skin grow hot with each intimate touch._

_Katya gasped as she jumped away. Spike got back to his feet, and pulled her back against him. "I won't hurt you," he promised._

_Weird sensations began to grow in her lower stomach; it felt like a knot was building. She had never felt this way in her entire life._

_Spike scooped her up in his arms and held her firmly against his chest, and carried her to the fur that she had laid down. Gently, he set her down on the fur and then stood at her feet. His fingers worked the buttons on his shirt and tossed that to the ground as well. He slid his pants off next. Katya rested on her elbows; her eyes scanning ever inch of bared flesh._

_A momentary fear seemed to cross over her face, before lust took over. This was all so overwhelming, Kate thought. It felt like it was happening so fast. It felt right and wrong at the same time. _

_Spike had never had a women look at him this way and it was almost unnerving. He laid along side her. He kissed her again, rougher this time. Katya turned towards him, her hand resting on his bare chest. The heat of her hand seemed to scold him. He rested his hand along the curve of her hip and caressed the smooth skin there._

_"Are you sure?" He asked, unsure of why he did. He was evil; he could have anything and anyone he wanted. He'd never asked for permission before._

_She nodded, her teeth biting her lower lip. "Yes."_

* * *

_Afterwards, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms, Katya peeked up at him beneath her lashes. "Thank you."_

_Spike chuckled. "Your welcome luv."_

_"No," she said seriously now, "thank you for loving me."_

_Spike was about to correct her, but looking into her eyes, he found he couldn't. He just nodded._

_After, when Katya had fallen asleep in his arms, Spike raised himself up on one elbow and watched her sleep. She was so peaceful, so beautiful. She had given herself over so completely. _

_Spike's fingers traced the curve of her jaw, as he pushed the hair away from her neck. Now it was time. He felt the bones shift in his face as the change came over him. Tomorrow the gypsies would find their daughter naked and the blood drained from her. He had done everything he said he would, and now it was time._

* * *

Kate sat up in bed, sweat drenching her clothes. Her eyes searched the darkness around her. She was in Dawn's room. She was safe. It was a nightmare. She buried her head between her hands, pressing the palms into her eyes in attempts to wipe out the imagery that still lingered.

With deep breathes, her heart hammering against her ribcage she stared into the darkness. She had only been asleep a couple of hours.

Then, with frightening clarity, she realized that her nightmare wasn't a nightmare. It was a memory.

"I remember," she whispered in the darkness.

* * *

To Be Continued. 


	13. I've Been Lorelai Gilmored

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

**Chapter 12: I've Been Lorelai Gilmored**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters from GG or Buffy, except for the ones I make up. I make no money from these stories.

On to the story.

* * *

Kate was already awake as the sun broke over the horizon. She was already awake when the muffled sound of voices and hurried footsteps carried on beneath her; and she was already awake when the house became silent once again.

And yet, her body sent no message to her brain that she should get out of bed. She stared up at the ceiling letting the events of the past couple of days spin a tangled web in her mind. The confusion was the worst part. Memories began to wash over her in a seemingly endless tirade. She tried to sort one from another in an attempt to create some semblance of a timeline. And then she would push it away figuring she was crazy or that the thoughts were a side effect from the numerous head traumas she'd had in the past two days.

None of these thoughts made any sense at all, but she couldn't even remember what she'd been doing up until she'd moved to Stars Hollow. She felt like she had been in a fog for the past month.

As she lay there, she began to try and figure out where to go from here. Should she tell them she remembered, and face the endless stream of questions? Putting it out there would make it all true, was she ready for that?

At this point she was a potential suspect and normally under these circumstances the truth would clear her. But these weren't normal circumstances and the truth might only hurt her case.

Finally she managed to accept the fact that she had to get out of bed in order to have a, much needed, shower. The cold hit her like a wall as she threw off her covers. She shuffled down the hall in search for a bathroom.

Kate stood under the hot spray of the powerful jets for as long as possible. She used some of their shampoo and washed her hair three times before she felt like she'd thoroughly rid herself of cave dirt.

In the mirror, she stared at her naked body and inwardly shuttered as she saw the long finger mark bruises on her upper arms. There was nothing like visual reminders to make the icy fingers of fear wrap themselves around her heart. She had been so close to dying in that damp version of hell.

Kate wrapped herself in a terry cloth towel and exited the bathroom in a puff of smoke. The fog blinded her momentarily and she walked into, what felt like, a wall. Only the wall had hands that reached out to steady her.

"Good afternoon luv." Came a voice that caused a shiver to run down Kate's spine.

Kate hugged the towel closer. She may as well have been trying to cover herself with a face cloth with the way he was looking at her.

"I'll just go change," she muttered, as she backed away from him. Kate slammed the door behind her, leaning against the security of it. All she had were her clothes from yesterday covered in god knows what and she'd already decided to burn those once she found matches.

There was always Dawn's clothes, but Kate was taller and curvier than her. This definitely left out Buffy as an option. That girl was practically a midget, Kate thought.

Kate managed the jeans, which fit snugly, but it would have to do until she could get her own clothes. She stood for a moment. "Hey Spike?" she called through the door.

"Yes?" Came the reply, surprisingly close to the closed door.

Kate smiled as she opened the door a crack and thrust her arm out. "Give me your shirt please," she said. The next thing she felt was a lump of fabric being placed in her open hand. _The guy undressed quickly_, Kate thought with a grin.

She pulled the black tee over her head. It was long on her, but it covered the fact that she was taking low-rise jeans to a new level. Kate stepped into the hall, and sure enough, Spike was waiting.

He was leaning against the railing, his arms crossed over his bare chest. Kate couldn't help herself from doing a quick scan. She was human after all.

"Good look for you," Spike said, "my shirt on you. Though it isn't the first time." He added the last part in a whisper and a cocky grin.

Kate tucked a wet strand behind her ear and smiled up at him. "The girls in this house are all very tiny," she explained. " I'm sure one of Dawn's tops would look like a tube top on me."

Spike laughed. "You look good from where I'm standing luv, but then, I've always thought so."

Kate did look good to him. It was different to see her in modern clothing that hugged all the places she'd covered up in the past. She had existed in a time where curves weren't a bad thing. She wasn't heavy by any means. Her breasts were heavy and full, her waist small, her tummy flat and her hips shapely. She looked like she belonged in the 40's right up there with Marilyn Monroe and Ava Gardner.

She still looked the same. Her hair was still black as night and wavy. It wasn't as long as it used to be. That wasn't the only difference though; there was strength in her now that had been unspoken before.

"You are about to make a girl blush," Kate teased, disrupting his thoughts.

Spike took a step towards her and Kate instantly felt her personal bubble become invaded. It was strange to her that as a vampire, with no body heat, he could radiate a heat through out her entire body.

"You aren't fooling me luv," he said, his face becoming serious.

His ice blue gaze drilled into hers. So much so that even when she ducked her head, she could still feel them on her. His face was so close to hers, that if she raised her head their lips would meet.

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked. She tried to sound confident, but her voice trembled.

His fingers traced the sides of her bare arms, as if trying to warm her. "No body looks at a stranger like that," he said softly.

"Like what?" She asked, her face still facing the floor.

"Intimately." He said the word as if it oozed sex.

Kate finally looked up at him, her eyes challenging him. "Maybe I'm just a slut." She shrugged, with a smile on her face.

The corner of Spike's mouth turned up in a half smile. " No, I can still smell the innocence on you."

"That would be my shampoo," Kate pointed out. Her hair did smell fantastic.

Before he could say another word, she brushed by him and headed down the stairs, putting as much space between them as possible.

She hadn't decided if she was going to admit to the fact she knew her past, but it was going to be harder being around him without letting him know.

Buffy had left a note explaining that they would be home early. Kate was in the middle of drinking her coffee when Spike entered the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," he said. He was leaning against the doorframe, looking down at his hands.

Kate shrugged. " It's no big deal."

"I mean," he said, taking an unnecessary breath, " that I am sorry about what I did to you. Whether you remember or not, I want you to know."

Kate tensed, trying to remain oblivious. She didn't know him well enough now, if she had known him at all, but the pain on his face looked sincere. Kate set down her cup. " Alright." She had to say something, and that was the only word that came out. Sorry didn't even begin to heal the hundred plus years of pain.

His apology had brought up a pain so big that she felt like she was drowning in it. Her mind flashed images before her mind's eye, and she had no control over the content. The pain seemed like yesterday_. I can't breathe_, she thought wildly.

Wrapping her fingers around her mug, she stared down at the blackness of her coffee and tried to take in deep breaths. Spike stood upright.

The next thing she knew he was at her side. "Are you ok pet?" He asked, his voice full of concern.

Kate shook her head, choking back the onset of tears. Summoning all the strength she had in her, she looked up to meet his gaze. " I remember," she said simply. It was too hard to keep it buried. There was too much anger to look at him as if she couldn't remember.

Spike's eyes widened. " And?" He asked, his voice weak.

Kate got to her feet. "And," she began. " I think I don't want to be around you right now."

She pushed past him and headed for the door. "Kate, wait," Spike called as he followed her.

Kate forcibly pulled open the front door, bringing in a stream of sunlight. Spike cursed as he jumped backwards, his bare chest smoking a little.

Kate turned to face him. " Don't come after me," she said. Then she thought a moment and laughed bitterly. "Though, based on past events that won't be a problem for you will it? You had no problem leaving me to die did you?"

With that she stepped into the sunlight and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

"Would you wait up!"

Dawn spun around, pushing her hair out of her face, as she did so. " Stop following me!" She said this loud enough to make some of their fellow students stare.

Jess grabbed her by the elbow to prevent her from fleeing again. "Would you just put off the drama queen act for a minute?"

Dawn's mouth opened in a retort. " I didn't realize you had feelings for me," Jess finished.

"F…feelings of anger, sure." Dawn stammered.

"You know what I mean," Jess said in a hushed tone.

"You are so arrogant. I don't think of you that way," Dawn lied.

"Why else would you be so mad about Rory?" Jess asked.

"B…because we had a project to do," Dawn said lamely. She really would have to lie better in the future. Sure, she was a reformed clepto, but lying-she sucked at.

"Somehow I don't think that's what this is all about," Jess said. The amused expression on his face only infuriated her more.

"I don't have those kind of feelings for you," Dawn repeated slowly, " And if I had in the past, I don't now."

Dawn pulled her arm out of his grasp and fled down the hallway.

"You know, you're really cute when you're mad!" Jess yelled after her.

* * *

"So what were you saying?" Willow muttered, somewhat incoherently, as Ashley's lips nibbled a trail along the curve of her neck.

"Something about canceling our date tonight?" Ashley said between nibbles.

Willow's eyelids fluttered closed as Ashley leaned her weight against Willow, pushing her against the white board.

"We could get caught," Willow muttered, though at this point, she didn't really care. Willow ran her hands under Ashley's sweater, tracing her fingers over the heat of her skin.

"That's the fun of it," Ashley said, laughing huskily against Willow's neck.

"I'm sorry for canceling," Willow said. Never had she been so sorry.

"I guess I'll have to do without," Ashley said, her fingers trailing along Willow's waistband.

"It's just that…a family problem…has come up," Willow stammered between heavy breathes.

"Not a problem," Ashley said, " Next time."

Ashley ran her lips over Willow's just as the warning bell for last period rang out.

* * *

"Do you have a dress picked out for the Christmas party?" Lorelai asked.

Buffy shook her head. " I figure that I have a week. I will go shopping sometime."

"Lorelai, the phone is for you." Michel said.

"Who is it?" Lorelai asked.

"I am not your answering service," Michel said.

"Has 'up with people' heard about you?" Lorelai asked as she snatched the phone away from Michel.

"Lorelai Gilmore speaking."

"That man is very rude," Came the reply.

"Hello to you too mom," Lorelai said, rolling her eyes at Buffy.

"You really should get someone else to answer the phone Lorelai," Emily said. " I couldn't understand half of what he was saying."

"But you got to me, so mission accomplished," Lorelai replied.

"I want to know if you are coming to dinner tonight?" Emily asked.

"There's a lot of work piling up," Lorelai began, trying to get it out in a rush of words before Emily could stop her excuse.

"Only I've told Clara to make extra and with those inept maids the agency keeps sending me-if I tell her now she'll most likely still make too much," Emily began, " and your father and I are going on a business trip and if we have extra food that is just asking for ants."

"Ok soliloquy girl," Lorelai sighed.

"Pardon?"

"I'll be there mom," Lorelai said, as she said it she made a long stroke over the plans she had for tonight, and slid the pad over to Buffy.

"I don't want to trouble you Lorelai," Emily said.

Sure you don't, Lorelai thought with a groan "I'll be there with bells on," Lorelai said with a fake grin.

"Excellent," Emily said. "See you then."

Lorelai hung up the phone and stared at it for a minute and then spoke out loud. " Sorry mom, not tonight I am really busy."

And then she replied with a haughty posh accent. "Not a problem Lorelai, I know how busy you are and it wouldn't bother me if you miss a dinner."

Buffy watched the display with a raised eyebrow. Lorelai set the phone down on the table. " I find finishing the conversation helps me vent," she explained with a smile.

"You ok?" Buffy asked her.

"This is how I look after I've talked to my mother," Lorelai said, " I've been Emily Gilmored."

Buffy laughed. " I know the feeling."

"The 'deer-in-the-headlights-slightly-out-of-breathe-head-spinning-what-the-hell-just-happened' kind of thing?" Lorelai said in a rush.

"Yeah. Added with the instant replay that haunts you?" Buffy added.

"It's like you know me," Lorelai said with a laugh.

Lorelai brushed her hand over Buffy's. Buffy laughed nervously, as the touch sent a chill down her spine, and she began the dance of distraction and shuffled through the Christmas Plans.

"So starting tomorrow, Dawn and Rory will be helping out," Buffy said out loud as she wrote a couple of notes down on the paper. " We can get them to decorate I guess."

"Hey Buffy…."Lorelai said in a quiet voice.

Buffy tensed, Lorelai's tone meant that something important was about to be discussed, and Buffy had a feeling it wasn't about table settings.

"Yeah?" Buffy said. Her mind was reeling with ways she could excuse herself from the room, but none seemed plausible. She was the queen of procrastination, and at the time she needed it the most, she was completely blank.

Lorelai turned towards her. "This is going to sound so weird," Lorelai began. She stared down at her hands, wishing she'd gone ahead with her plan to write down what she wanted to say on her palm. She knew she should be looking at Buffy, but that was too hard. If she looked at Buffy, she would cease to make words come out of her mouth.

And Buffy was looking at her in such a way, that Lorelai was convinced that Buffy knew what she was going to say. And that was weird in itself. Up until now, she'd just battled with inappropriate thoughts. Well they weren't inappropriate; really, except for they involved a member of a gender she'd never been interested in before. If they were just thoughts, why should she tell Buffy? It's not like she wanted anything to actually happen. They were thoughts to entertain in her head only. And yet, she felt like she wanted to say the words.

"I blame the lack of coffee," Lorelai continued. The more she rambled, the more she was driving her point into oblivion.

Oh god just say it, Buffy prayed. An unexplainable tension had hung between them since Buffy got hired here.

"Well," Lorelai began, taking a deep breath.

"Jess is such an idiot!" Came a voice from the doorway. Buffy and Lorelai both jumped at the interruption. Dawn burst through the door, her cheeks red from the cold and her breathe ragged from running to the Inn.

Lorelai scooped up her paperwork and mumbled an apology to Buffy, before hurrying to the kitchen.

Great, more unanswered questions, Buffy thought. She moved over to allow Dawn to sit down. Maybe some of Dawn's high school problems would be easier to deal with right now. After the brief conversation with Lorelai (that had gone no where) she was feeling light headed, unsure and a little flushed. With an ironic smile, she realized that she'd been Lorelai Gilmored.

* * *

Buffy tossed her car keys into the dish by the front door and picked up the mail. A routine, every day event that made her feel like a normal women returning from a day at work. However, the vampire in the kitchen took her back to her reality.

"Hey," Buffy said, as she set her paperwork down on the island.

"Bringing your work home with you again slayer?" Spike asked.

"Yes," Buffy said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. " But this doesn't include broken doors and lots of bruise-age."

"What's it all for?" Spike asked as he pulled a file from the stack.

Buffy swatted his hand away. " Hey, that's all organized. We are having a Christmas party next week and we're just finishing up some last minute plans."

"Look at ms. Business woman," Spike said.

"I know! I'm all growed up," Buffy said with a laugh. " Eww, Spike, don't drink blood out of my mug!"

"What should I be drinking out of?" Spike asked.

"Your mug! There's a thought," Buffy said as she set the mug designated for blood in front of Spike.

"That has bloody flowers on it," Spike said as he pushed the girly mug away from him.

"You're such a male," Buffy sighed.

"All encounters with you would point to yes," Spike said with a sly smile.

Buffy couldn't help but smile as she shook her head. " Spike, don't even go there."

"Why?" Spike teased, brushing his hand over hers. Buffy pulled her hand away as if he'd scolded her.

"Where's Kate?" Buffy asked.

Spike tensed, pulling his hand back. "She went home," Spike answered.

Buffy groaned in frustration. " I told her to stay here so we could talk about this."

Spike looked down at his folded hands. " She remembers Buffy," Spike said," She remembers what happened that night."

"What night?" Buffy asked.

"It's not important," Spike said. He slipped from the stool and took his drink into the living room with Buffy hot on his trail.

"Spike! We have some new evil in town and your past chippy could be a link."

Spike turned with an eyebrow raised. "Chippy? You speaking my lingo now pet?"

"Spike, come on," Buffy said grabbing his arm. He turned so fast that they collided into each other.

"Hey everyone!" Came Willow's voice from the hallway. " I've cancelled a potentially hot date for this. So what's the hub bub….bub?"

Willow trailed off as she saw Buffy and Spike in a loose embrace. Willow cocked a hip to the side as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh my goddess! You two are totally doing it again!" She said in an accusing tone.

Buffy righted herself. " No Will. We aren't doing it."

Willow looked between them suspiciously. " Are you sure? Cause last time you said you weren't doing it…you were doing it."

"Stop saying 'doing it'" Buffy said.

"I don't fancy being her bitch again anyway," Spike said as he plopped down into the armchair, pulling a smoke from his pack.

"You- my bitch!" Buffy snapped, " I think I was your bitch."

"You were both bitches," Willow said with a laugh. " So you aren't together?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "No."

"Don't answer too quickly or anything there, luv," Spike said.

"Where's Kate?" Willow asked.

"Ah, excellent question," Buffy answered. " She left. Supposedly she remembers everything."

"Why did she leave?" Willow asked. "Is she evil? She's evil isn't she? Crap."

"She's not evil," Spike muttered. "Or at least she wasn't."

"Then why would she leave?" Willow asked.

"She and I didn't end well," Spike answered. "So she left."

"You just leave a trail of broken women don't you?" Willow said.

"Hey, I wasn't broken." Buffy pointed out quickly.

Willow just gave her a look. "So we have to find her. She probably went home right?"

"Hopefully," Buffy said. "Cause we can't go trailing after her if she's left town."

"She hasn't left town," Spike said.

"How do you know that?" Buffy asked. And then her nose crinkled up in disgust. " It's not that gross smelling her thing, is it?"

Spike gave her a look. " No, she's standing right there."

Buffy and Willow turned to see Kate in the doorway. "Kate. Hi." Willow said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible, as if they weren't just talking about her.

Kate handed Buffy the pair of folded up jeans she was holding. " This is Dawn's, I borrowed them."

Buffy set them down on the counter. " Where did you go?"

"Home," Kate answered. " I had to be alone for a bit."

Buffy nodded her head. " I guess I can understand that."

Just then Xander came in the door. "Hey everyone! What's up?"

Buffy looked from Xander to Kate. " Kate remembers what happened to her and she's just about to tell us what."

Xander looked between the two girls. " Alright." Then he rubbed his hands together, with a his usual goofy smile, " Who wants popcorn?"

* * *

To Be Continued…. 


	14. A Night Like This

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

Chapter 13 **A Night Like This**

**Disclaimer**: I claim no ownership from either shows- Gilmore Girls/ Buffy or the characters.

**Warning**: There is some serious hanky panky in this chapter, though I am not revealing the pairings, as that gives it all away. (And we all know my characters are the only ones who give anything away…haha)

This chapter was going to be split in two because it's almost double my normal entry, but I wanted to get the Kate flashback out there as other characters are prodding me at this moment for a turn. haha And I don't want people bored of Kate…cause I love her! haha

Again, I listened to Hurt a lot. I also listened to "Don't Speak" by No doubt and "Calling All Angels" by Jane Sibbery. Pretty much, any sad song works. haha

Italics indicated Flashbacks

* * *

Later, once Dawn had returned home, they sat down once again to talk about the past. They found themselves, pretty much, in the same position, as they were the other night. Only Kate didn't seem as shy and unsure of herself. From the glares she gave Spike, Buffy guessed she was pissed.

"Ok, so I am guessing that you didn't turn her that night?" Buffy said, getting things on a roll.

"No, I didn't." Spike said.

"Why?" Dawn asked.

Spike looked at Kate, a look of reminiscence on his chiseled features. "Because I fell in love with her."

"Oh." Dawn whispered.

* * *

_Spike stared at the curve of her neck, his face changing on instinct. He traced the soft line of her neck with the tip of her fingers, imagining what it would be like to taste her. He wandered what it would be like to hear her soft cry of surprise, before it turned to tears of shock as he devoured her. He thought about devouring her until her heart came to a stop. He would lay in wait and watch the reactions of her family and friends when they found her naked body drained of life._

_And as he lowered to take the first taste, she moaned in her sleep before turning over and snuggling against his bare chest. The gesture stunned him. He could feel the warmth of her breathe against his chest, and watched the soft rise and fall of her chest as she returned back to the deep embrace of sleep._

_He lowered his face, again, to her neck and realized that his face had returned back to his human face. He placed his lips against the curve of her neck and sucked gently, tasting her on his tongue. Still he did not bite her. He caressed her skin under his calloused hand and planted kisses over her shoulder. Still he could not bring himself to bite her. With a shock he hadn't expected, he realized he had feelings for her._

_The thought of her dying brought a weird sensation to his dead heart. Unless he could turn her into a vampire. Then he could have her forever. He shook his head, trying to erase the thoughts. She had bewitched him somehow, put a spell on him or something._

_Getting to his feet, he left behind her warm embrace, and ran out into the night. This couldn't be happening to him. He was going soft. He ran as fast as he could, trees flying past him in a blur until he couldn't feel the ground underneath his feet anymore._

_He knew what would cure him. He needed a good kill before sunrise and the cold embrace of his dead lover._

_With the taste of an innocent victims still on his lips, he entered the room that he shared with Dru. She was lying on the velvet cover, her dark hair splayed over the pillows, her hand curled under her chin like she was a sleeping child._

_Spike pulled off all his clothing and crawled towards her. He hovered above her, planting kisses along her jaw line, leaving tiny blood prints along her alabaster skin. He grabbed at both sides of her corset and with a grunt ripped the bodice in half._

_Dru's mouth curled up into a smile, but her eyes remained closed. "Did you bring me something to eat?" she whispered._

_The satisfaction lasted only a few blissful moments, and then all he could do was think of Katya, and what she would do when she woke tomorrow morning. Alone. _

* * *

" You left her alone?" Dawn said in disgust.

" Hello, vampire." Spike said.

"Ok, but you can't use that as an excuse forever," Xander said.

"Leave anyone else at the altar lately Harris?" Spike snapped back.

Xander frowned. " Touché."

"Yep, I woke up alone," Kate, said, finally piping up. Until now Spike had been telling the story.

" He left me in the night."

"So guys were just as piggish back then?" Buffy said, more to herself than to the room.

"So then what happened?" Dawn asked. " Did you ever see Spike again?"

Kate nodded. " Once."

Spike stared down at the cigarette he held in his hand. " He came to find me a couple of days later," Kate said.

* * *

_Katya walked along the line of the forest and the meadow, weaving in and out of the trees every few steps. It had been a couple of days since she had been with William. That morning after, she had dressed herself and hid the remains of the night. It had been heartbreaking to gather the candles and flowers and hide them, erasing all physical evidence of their time together._

_The part that hurt the worst, was not knowing what she had done wrong. Had she been terrible? Did he just want to have her for one night? He had never said that he loved her, now that she thought back._

_Katya wiped away the tears that ran down her cheeks as she kicked at the fallen leaves on the forest floor. The sun was setting rapidly and she knew she should head back to the caravan, but being surrounded by family who didn't know what was going on in her head was too much work. Keeping up the façade was exhausting her._

_The sky was red as the sun retreated behind the mountains. Katya watched as the darkness swept over the land towards her, in a perfect metaphor of how she felt._

_At last, she was completely surrounded by the dark as she walked further and further from the caravan. Just then, ahead of her, a figure stepped out from the cover of the trees. Katya's heart jumped into her throat as the clutches of fear began to take hold. She had been foolish to assume that the vampire threat had passed._

_As the figure stepped into the path of the moonlight, she caught a brief glimpse of his face. Her heart picked up it's pace and a huge smile spread across her face at the sight of him. And then, it all came flooding back._

_Katya was torn. Her pride made her want to turn in her tracks and ran from him, but her heart made her want to listen to what he said. So she stood. Frozen._

_"Hi," Spike said._

_"Hi?!" Katya repeated. " Well, now I feel a lot better thank you."_

_"Wait," Spike said, stopping her from leaving by grabbing her arm. "I want to explain."_

_"Alright," Katya said as she pulled out of his grasp, and crossed her arms over her chest._

_"I am sorry that I left," Spike said. " I thought you were in danger." That was true enough._

_"And a great way for keeping me safe is to leave me in a dark cave," Katya replied._

_Spike opened his mouth to reply, and then closed it. He'd been practicing this all day. " Because of what I do, I thought that you might be a target. So I stayed away from you, but I was always around watching."_

_That part was true as well. He wasn't lying, exactly, just picking around the truth. Katya took a deep breath. " In danger from whom?" she asked._

_"Vampires," Spike answered._

_"So," Katya began, feeling self-conscious. " You didn't leave because you didn't like me?"_

_Spike's eyes widened in surprise. " I like you Katya," he said._

_"I wasn't bad?" she whispered._

_Spike put his finger under her chin and tilted her face back so that he could look at her. " You were bloody great."_

_Katya smiled, as her cheeks flamed red. " I missed you so much," she said, throwing herself into Spike's arms. Spike tensed for a moment and then wrapped his arms around her and held her close._

_"Come away with me," Spike whispered against her hair. He had to get her away from Dru and Darla. Dru had questioned him about where he had been for all those nights when he had been away from her. When he'd come to her the night he'd been with Katya, Dru could smell her on him._

_With Dru and Darla attacking him, he had finally admitted that he was baiting a human into loving him before he killed her. The girls were delighted by the idea and were further delighted by the idea of the three of them killing her. Spike hadn't thought that far. He went along with it, saying that was his plan. Love made the kill all that much better._

_Spike had to get her away from them before they came for her. Katya put her hands against his chest and pushed away so that she could look up at him. "Go where?"_

_"I don't know," Spike said with some urgency. "How do you fancy England? Or Italy? Anywhere you name it and we'll go."_

_Katya shook her head, laughing. " We can't just go."_

_"Yes we can," Spike insisted. " There is nothing stopping us. Let's just go. You said yourself that you feel like your family doesn't care. So what do you have holding you here?"_

_"I….I don't know," Katya muttered. " Romania is all I've ever known."_

_"Katya," Spike said, pulling her close to him. " I love you." There, he said it. And it didn't feel as forced as he thought it would. He realized in that second that it was true. He loved her._

_Katya's eyes widened. " You love me?"_

_"Yes. Now will you bloody well follow me luv or do I have to carry you?" Spike said with a grin._

_"You love me," Katya repeated in wonder._

_"We covered that already luv," Spike said, " I need to know if you will come with me?"_

_"I will come with you," Katya replied. Spike kissed her hard, crushing her against his body._

_Katya cried out against his lips, as his lips moved fiercely over hers, his mouth crushing her lips against her teeth. Katya clawed at his shirt as she tried to bring herself closer to him. Her knees buckled as Spike pulled her to the ground with him in a tangle of limbs._

_Katya laughed. "William not here," she giggled against his lips._

_"Here is perfect," Spike said, as he began undoing the laces on her corset as fast as possible._

_"You were the one who was in such a hurry to leave a moment ago," Katya protested, as Spike tugged on her corset._

_"We have a few moments," Spike muttered. "Is this thing wielded on?"_

_Later, they lay wrapped together in a pile of fallen leaves. Katya smiled against his chest as she raised her head to face him. Spike turned and looked at her. "What?" he asked softly._

_"Just checking that you are still here," she said with a smile._

_Spike kissed her softly. "Still here."_

_"When will we leave?" She asked._

_"Right now sounds about right," Spike said, as he got to his feet._

_"Now? Shouldn't we wait until morning?" Katya asked._

_Yeah, if you want to run away with a giant pile of dust, Spike thought bitterly. He would have to tell her the truth._

_"Katya, there's something I should tell you," He said, pulling her to her feet._

_Katya frowned. "That doesn't sound good."_

_"There's something you need to know about me before we leave," Spike said._

_Katya smiled nervously. "What is it William?"_

_"I'm not who you think I am," He said._

_Katya turned away from him. " I don't think I want to hear this." Her bare foot hit a rock sticking out of the ground and she cried out in pain as she bent to grab her throbbing foot._

_"What happened?" Spike asked._

_"I cut myself," Katya said, holding up her blood stained hand. The metallic smell of blood wafted through the air._

_"It's not too bad," she said, laughing at her clumsiness. " I…" She brought her head up and looked into Spike's face. Her smiled faded, and her eyes widened in shock._

_"Katya?" He asked._

_Katya stumbled over her dress as she jumped away from him. Spike frowned, reaching out for her. "Don't touch me!" she screamed, as she fell over herself as she struggled to her feet._

_"Bloody hell," Spike said, reaching for her again. " What is wrong with you?"_

_Katya struggled with the words as the shock gripped her heart. Her mouth opened and closed in a futile attempt to form the words. And then finally, it ripped out of her throat in a shriek. "V…Vampire!!!"_

_Spike jumped back as if he'd been scolded. He reached up to touch his face, and sure enough he found that his face had changed into the monster he had hid from her. The smell of blood must have triggered it._

_"Katya please. That is what I was trying to tell you."_

_"Vampire!!!!!!!!" She screamed again and she began to run as fast as she could towards her family. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, ignoring the pain the shot through her injured foot._

_"Katya!" Spike screamed as he ran after her. His vampire instincts were stronger than his mortal ones, and the fact that she ran from him only added to the hunger he'd denied for too long. How a relationship between the two of them could ever work, he wasn't sure. He knew that he loved her as much as possible, and that love would be enough to keep her safe from him. If she would only stop and listen for a bloody second._

_Her lungs felt like they would burst, but she pumped her legs as hard and as fast as they would go. Her first instinct was to run into the trees and hide herself, but she couldn't see in the forest. She knew the forest by heart, but she wouldn't risk it._

_Up ahead she saw more figures move into the clearing, and with a cry of relief she recognized her brothers and uncles. Spike was still yelling her name and a couple of times she felt his fingers brush her back as he closed in on her. With one last cry of panic she pushed herself through the group of clan members and into the arms of one of her cousins._

_The group held up crosses and Spike jumped backwards. More group members came from behind Spike and threw a rope around him, wrestling him to the ground. Spike cried out in pain as they threw holy water on him._

_"Katya!" he screamed in pain, as they hauled him to his feet._

_"Shut up vampire," her brother sneered._

_"Katya, please just listen to me for a minute."_

_Katya looked into his eyes then, tears running down her cheeks, into his human face. He looked so sincere._

_He pushed and fought like a man desperate to escape. Katya couldn't see him through her family. One moment she saw them struggling, and then in a blur, Spike was standing in front of her. He'd moved so fast that it took a moment for her to realize what was happening. His hands cupped her face as his eyes bore intensely into hers. "Remember that I love you. No matter what happens."_

_Before Katya could respond, Spike had been dragged away again. Her cousin put his arm around her shoulders and led her away. " What are you going to do with him?" she whispered._

_"They will put the curse on him," her cousin informed her. Katya looked at Spike over her shoulder, feeling her heart break for the second time._

_Katya was led back to her caravan in a stupor. She sat now, staring at her reflection, her mind a blur. All she kept wondering, over and over again, was how it could have fallen apart so fast. For the past month she had been the happiest she had ever been in her life. When she thought she couldn't be happier, happier came. She felt new all over and hopeful for the future. In a matter of moments it had shattered. It had shattered around her feet in pieces, and before she could attempt to put it back together she had to find the pieces that fit. Nothing fit together. Nothing would ever fit again._

_She had loved him with an intensity that scared her. The love had been replaced with disgust, and then turned to numbness where she didn't know how she felt. The energy radiating off her in waves made the room hum with magic. She wasn't as skilled in magic yet, but when anger struck, the air crackled with the spark of it._

_William had made her feel things she couldn't put into words. When she'd been with him, she had felt loved. When she was with him she forgot about the pain of her sister's death, the pain of knowing her family didn't love her enough and the pain of not knowing where she belonged. For the briefest of moments she had belonged to him. He had told her such beautiful lies and the promise of taking her away with him._

_Katya stumbled to her feet and fell onto her bed. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as sobs racked her body. If she held on tight enough, maybe it would keep her insides from falling out._

_The feeling of emptiness was too much to bare. Would the pain ever end? And so she lay there, feeling her heart break. She remembered what her cousin had told her._

_William would be cursed tonight. It wouldn't be the curse that was inflicted on her sister's killer. Her family was constantly using vampires to practice their curses on._

_William was about to have one of the cruelest curses put on him. They would burn him from the inside, prolonging his life for maximum pain. They would watch him scream in pain until there was nothing left but dust._

_This is what she would have wished for any vampire, and part of her wished, that she wished him dead. Only the thought of him dying was like someone punching her in the stomach. The panic of that left her breathless._

_Without really thinking about it, she jumped to her feet and fled from the confines of her room. Katya found William sitting outside the elder's camp. He was tied and chained to a tree. The moon was bright tonight, and it shone enough light on William's face, for Katya to see the extent of the damage._

_He looked up then, as she drew closer, and surprise flickered across his face. One of his eyes was almost completely swollen shut, dark bruises covered a side of his face and a long gash ran across his face from cheekbone to temple._

_"K...Katya?" he whispered through swollen lips._

_Katya dropped to her knees in front of him. She studied him for a moment and then brought her hand back and slapped him across the face, careful not to further injure him too much more. Spike grunted in pain._

_" That's for lying to me!" she said in the loudest whisper she could manage as she crossed her hands over her chest. " Now that that is out of the way." She stared a moment and then her demeanor softened as she touched his face gently. " Did I hurt you?"_

_The corner of Spike's lips lifted in a half smile. "It certainly didn't help luv."_

_"Well…good," Katya said with conviction. " You look horrible."_

_Spike choked on a laugh. " I don't feel too great either pet."_

_Spike stared at her face trying to read her expression. "You come to off me yourself, luv?"_

_"No," Katya answered. " I hadn't thought of that."_

_Spike smiled again. " I should kill you," Katya said. "You are a vampire. And although I find this hard to believe, I am here to let you go."_

_"Come again? I think I have taken too many blows to the head because I think you just said you were here to let me go?" Spike said._

_"I am letting you go."_

_"Well, I'll be buggered," Spike, whispered, shaking his head._

_"The last thing you said to me was that you wanted me to believe you. Believe that you loved me. You didn't ask me to let you go. And I am guessing you could have fought a lot harder than you did. Considering how your kind usually operates, you didn't have to leave me any piece of hope, did you? But you did." Katya was looking at him seriously now, daring him to tell her that she was wrong._

_Spike hung his head. " Yeah. Do you believe me Katya?" he asked as he raised his head. There_

_was an air of intimacy between them now; it hung heavily in the air between them._

_"I don't know what to believe. I know that I want to believe. For my sanity, I think I have to," Katya said, with a sad laugh._

_"Fair enough," Spike said._

_Katya leaned forward as if to kiss him, but moved beyond, as she began to work the chains around his arms. She had to use magic and this took a lot of concentration. Sweat began to bead on her forehand as she held her hands above the chains. Not only did she have to unlock them, but also had to make it look like he'd broken out himself._

_Katya was leaning over him, giving him a tantalizing view of her breasts that threatened to spill over at any minute. Katya could feel his breath (vampires could breathe, they just didn't need to that is why they could smoke-as she'd learned) against her neck, which sent goose bumps up her arms._

_He could see the vein in her neck pulsating so close to his parted lips, smell her arousal and hear the rapid beat of her heart. When the chains were tossed aside, Katya sat back on her heels. He was a free man now. If he really was a monster, he could kill her now._

_Katya pushed a brown curl off his forehead and ran her fingers once more through his silky curls. Gently she stroked the planes of his face from his high cheekbones to the line of his jaw as if every movement would somehow ingrain the memory of his face clearer in her head._

_Her green eyes filled with tears, until the sight of his face began to blur and her heart became heavy in her chest. Leaning forward she pressed her lips gently against his, almost as a sigh instead of kiss. Her hormones were running rampant; she had yet to explore this new adventure she had begun a couple of nights ago. She longed to explore his body, as he had done with hers. She wanted to be filled again and again as she had in the forest this very night. Most of all she wanted time. More time._

_Spike groaned against her lips, as his fingers thread themselves through her hair, holding her closer. "Promise me," she whispered, as she pressed her forehead against his. "Promise me that you will come back for me."_

_Surprise flickered across his face as he grabbed her upper arms, forcing her to raise her head and look at him. " You can't stay here."_

_"I have to," Katya replied. "Only for a short time."_

_Spike got to his feet and pulled her up to hers. " Are you off your rocker luv? Come with me."_

_"If I go with you they will assume you have taken me. To do their curse they will have already taken some of your hair or anything else they needed. That is all they need to curse you wherever you go. They only kept you here because they wanted to watch."_

_Katya shuddered at that last thought. Apparently the idea wasn't the worst thing Spike had ever heard of, or done, because he seemed unfazed by it._

_"Staying here is a bad idea luv," Spike said again. "It's crazy."_

_"Crazier than being in love with a vampire?" Katya asked her mouth turned up at the corners in a half smile._

_Spike chuckled. " I still can't believe that you are letting me go, after everything."_

_Katya sighed. " I know. But something about me changed since I met you. I felt like my own person for once. And if you die here tonight then I'm afraid that part of me will die right along with you, whether or not this is real, doesn't seem to matter right now. It doesn't really make any sense, but having you alive is like being able to believe in something again. I've never had that. And I like who this new girl is turning out to be," she said with a smile._

_"I like her too."_

_Spike grabbed her around the waist and crushed her against the solid wall of flesh that was his chest as his mouth came down on hers. Katya allowed a moment to wrap herself around this moment and tried to commit it to memory._

_Katya pulled back. " Go," she said in a ragged whisper._

_Spike seemed to hesitant and then with a nod, he took off towards the woods. She watched the spot where he'd disappeared for a long time._

_She was alone again but this time she was hopeful. She had no idea if William loved her as he had claimed. Could someone love without a soul? She knew the humans with a soul could do horrible things and could hate like a monster that had no soul. So which was more pure? Which was a greater to achieve? What was more rare? Hating with a soul, or loving without one?_

_Whether he did or not, Katya loved him and that was enough for now. Soon she would be away from here and be only with him. She would probably love him until they day she died._

_It wasn't until the sky showed the first signs that dawn was coming before she headed to the elders camp to finish one last thing before she could rest._

_Katya had only been asleep for a couple of hours when she was rudely shaken awake. Fingers dug painfully into her upper arms, as she was shaken so hard she felt like her neck would snap. Her vision cleared quickly. It was her father that shook her._

_"Father!" Katya screamed as she tried to free herself from his grasp._

_Her struggles were futile as his grip felt like iron. "You stupid, stupid girl!" he yelled again and again. He let go of her finally, rising to his feet. Before Katya could react he struck her with the back of his hand._

_A red-hot pain exploded along her cheek as the force of it knocked her right off the bed and into the opposite wall. Tears sprung immediately to her eyes as she hit the wall. It had all happened so fast that Katya was breathless from the pain._

_She huddled in the corner cupping a hand over her, rapidly swelling, cheek. She noticed now that her mother was standing in the doorway, her face buried in a rag as her shoulders shook with silent sobs. She looked pleadingly at her mother, who just turned her back on her._

_"What did you do with the potion?" her father bellowed._

_Katya jumped in response, as a whimper of fear escaped from her lips. She had never seen her father so angry, not since the night her sister had been killed._

_"I…I didn't…" she whimpered._

_"Don't lie to me! You set him free. The elders saw it!" he screamed. The scream seemed to reverberate off the walls, causing it to shake around her._

_Katya felt the fingers of fear grip her heart as she remembered that the elders could have had visions about it. She was so wrapped up in setting him free and destroying the potion that she hadn't thought about creating a mind block. How could she have been so completely and irreversibly stupid?_

_There was no point lying now. " He didn't hurt me father," Katya whispered, unable to meet his eyes as she lived up to his disappointment._

_"You let go a vampire Katya!" her father said, his voice more of a shout than a scream._

_"He didn't hurt me father," Katya repeated. " He didn't deserve to die."_

_Her father looked as though he'd just been punched in the gut. His face was bright red, as he clenched his fingers into fists. He was too angry to speak, she thought, as the anger trembled off him in waves. "Every vampire deserves to die!" he screamed. The energy coming off him made the caravan begin to rock, as her belongings flew from their selves, and the ceiling began to crack. Her mother cried out in fear as a piece of ceiling nearly hit her. "Especially that one!"_

_Katya pulled her knees to her chest, and she stared at her father in terror. " His sire is the one that killed your beloved sister!" The mention of her sister brought tears to her father's eyes and a lump to his throat as his voice trembled._

_Katya's eyes widened. No, it couldn't be true. " He was playing you, you stupid girl and you fell for it like a whore!"_

_Katya jumped, her face giving her away. " The elders saw that too," he said, his voice cracking with the disgust. " We were after him next Katya. "_

_"It's not true," she whispered. " He loved me."_

_Her father laughed cruelly. " He wanted to bed you Katya. He can't love you." The disgust in his voice made her blood ran cold in her veins. "We came to find you that night Katya. We knew then."_

_Katya buried her head in her knees as the tears began to flow. They hadn't heard her cries and came to save her. She was nothing but bait._

_"His women came to us Katya," her father said. "The two women vampires were the ones who lead us to you both. It was them that turned you in."_

_William had women? Katya's heart twisted in her chest, making it impossible for her to breathe. Had this been his plan? No, he loved her. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me, she kept repeating in her head as she rocked back and forth._

_Her father grabbed her by the arm and forced her to her feet nearly pulling her arm from the socket. Katya cried out in pain, her knees buckling under her._

_"You will be punished for this Katya." Her father said, with no emotion in his voice._

_"How?" Katya asked, her voice trembling._

_"The same punishment as anyone else," her father replied as he tossed the door open and pushed her through it. She stumbled and fell, hitting the ground hard, pain shooting up her arms. A crowd had formed around her now. She rose onto her elbows and looked up at her father who hovered over her. " The punishment is death."_

_Katya refused to cry. Which wasn't hard, considering her body felt drained of tears. She'd been kept in this room for hours now. They were waiting until night, and then she would be hanged. If she had any remaining hope that her family loved her, it was gone now._

_She didn't understand anything anymore, if she had at all. The pain was too much to bare. And William. If what her father said was true, he had lied to her again, and again she had believed him. The emptiness was oddly comforting now. There wasn't pain where she was now, because she knew she wouldn't have to endure it for much longer. She was dead already._

_William wouldn't be coming back for her. No one would. Tonight she would die. Tonight she could rest her tired body and lay in the cool earth. She wouldn't let them see her cry or beg. She would walk with her head held high towards the noose, and she would walk strong to her end. She would hold all the pain, fear and anger deep inside her tonight and then when the box was pulled from beneath her feet she would unleash it upon them all. She would die, but she would make them suffer. She wasn't as good as her sister, she had been told that enough. So tonight, would be her night. Killing a gypsy from a powerful family would have its consequences, and they would all feel it._

_The door opened, a sliver of light falling across her stone like face. Without expression she stood, as if pulled by string, to her feet and walked towards the door. The coven had lined up on either side, giving her a path towards the large oak. The large oak where she used to sit in its branches and read would be where her life would end; she would have laughed at the twist of fate if they hadn't been watching._

_She felt aware of all of them in that moment. Their hopes and dreams and their disappointment. Each one was waiting to see if she would run, or scream, or beg. Katya raised her chin, and began to walk down the pathway. Each member held a candle and bowed their heads as she walked._

_She had been dressed in the ceremonial robes of black and crimson. The only time she'd worn such fine fabrics would be at her funeral._

_The grass was cool beneath her feet as she made her way to the platform. Her father stood at the front (wanting a perfect view no less) with her mother. Katya felt the grain of wood under her feet as she began to climb._

_The rites were read as she turned to face the meadow. The meadow. A pain tugged at her chest as she felt her façade starting to fade. She bit her lip to keep from crying as she stared past the bright light of the candles to the blurry darkness on the outskirts. It was so close, yet so far away._

_And then she saw him. William. Hidden just behind the forest. His eyes landed on hers just as hers landed on his._

_He wasn't moving to stop them, and this caused a swell of pain to rise in her. He was just another member of the crowd waiting for her end. The murmur of rites still sounded in her ear. She would let him be the last to see her. With all the strength she possessed, she stared at him, her face unreadable._

_Let him be forever be cursed to feel unrequited love, she thought with a vengeance. Let him know how it feels to love someone that could never love him. She had loved a vampire. He was someone who was supposed to be beneath her. Let him be cursed to feel beneath someone else. Let him feel the agony and torment, she thought again, her eyes searing into his._

_She felt the rough rope put around her neck and didn't flinch or break her gaze on William's face. He looked in pain, she remembered thinking ironically as the light played tricks on her eyes. The knot tightened. Was he saying something? Breathing was harder. Was he sorry? And with a deep breath she then exhaled slowly. She held her arms to the sides as waves of magic flowed off her. She looked once into the night air, feeling the cool breeze against her skin. Then she lowered her head and looked back at her beloved William. The platform gave way. Everything went black._

_It was quick, her death, but the backlash of her pain that unleashed on her clan -wasn't._

* * *

Kate sat for moment in the silence that filled the room and then she raised her head. " That's all I remember."

Buffy took a breath. " So you died."

"I think that was the moral of the story," Xander said.

Dawn shot Xander a look before turning to Spike. " She died?"

"That was the last I ever saw her," Spike said.

"You died?!" Buffy repeated. Well, that didn't make much sense.

" She died," Willow said.

Kate got to her feet slowly. " That's all I remember. I was killed for loving a vampire. I was killed for letting him go. I hung that night. I remember that part clearly," she said with a bitter laugh. "And that's all she wrote."

Buffy shook her head. " I just don't understand this. How are you back then?"

"Ooh ,ooh! Maybe she's an great, great, great something or other?" Xander offered.

"I didn't have children," Kate reminded him.

"Right," Xander said sheepishly.

"I am going to go now," Kate said as she headed for the door. Buffy opened her mouth to say something, but Kate had already turned to speak. " I won't go anywhere Buffy. You know where I live."

"Maybe we can do a spell to help you unlock how you are alive," Willow said.

"Can you do that?" Buffy asked.

Willow shrugged. "We would have to get someone more powerful to do it."

"Will you come back then?" Buffy asked.

Kate nodded and then she turned for the door. Spike got to his feet to follow her but Buffy stopped him. " Not tonight Spike. Just leave her alone."

"I don't fancy another round of kick the Spike," he said, " but I have to talk to her."

"Not tonight," Buffy said again. " If you care at all for her, you will just let her be alone."

"I feel so bad for her," Dawn said as she watched Kate's retreating form out the window. " She looks so alone."

"I think she is stronger than she thinks," Willow said, hugging Dawn around the shoulders.

Dawn nodded, but wasn't so sure.

* * *

Kate stripped off her clothes and slipped beneath the cool sheets of her comforter. As she curled into the fetal position, hugging her pillow she thought back to that night. She could almost feel the rope around her neck. This night had been a lot like that one. With a moon so full it almost didn't seem real, a coolish breeze that brought with it the smell of snow. Her thoughts had been the same as it was then.

She had been so stoic that night. As she had told the story she had remained that way. Never faltering, never crying. But here, in this room, she was alone again. The nights had been similar in many ways. The pain was still the same all these years later, but on a night like this, she cried.

* * *

To Be Continued… 


	15. Shots Won Out In Long Island

Buffy Goes to the Stars Hollow

**Chapter 14: Shots Won Out in Long Island**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Gilmore Girls or characters from either.**

* * *

After Kate left there was a weird tension in the air. It was like someone had tipped over a box and everyone just stared at the spilled contents unsure of what to do.

Dawn went up to bed and Xander vegged out in front of the TV watching some reality show. Willow and Buffy sat on the loveseat like two girls about to see the principal.

"Well that was something eh?" Willow said, somewhat awkwardly.

"Definite baggage issues," Buffy agreed as she nodded her head slowly; a blank stare on her face.

"So what now?" Willow asked. Buffy shrugged. They sat in silence for a moment, and then Buffy had an idea.

"Why don't we go out?" Buffy asked.

"Out?" Willow asked.

"Yeah. Out. It's this new thing kids are doing these days," Buffy said.

Willow turned towards Buffy, cocking her head to the side. " Those crazy kids," she said, " So what is this 'out' they're doing?"

"Well they get dressed up and go to places with someone else or a group sometimes. Wackiness ensues and fun is had by one and all." Buffy explained with a straight face.

" We ARE great lovers of the wacky," Willow said excitedly as she slapped her hands together.

"Well then," Buffy said, with a deep breath, " How about we go and get all dressed up and go out?"

"That sounds like I better go get ready," Willow said.

"Doesn't anybody just ask a normal question anymore?" Xander muttered without taking his eyes from the TV.

" Were we interrupting your reality TV watching?" Buffy asked in a baby voice as she batted her eyelashes at him playfully.

"Did you miss who got the rose?" Willow asked.

"Who got kicked off the island?" Buffy added with a giggle.

"Who's sleeping with who?" Willow said.

"You are both so funny," Xander said dryly. " And for your information, yes to all of the above."

Willow and Buffy ran up the stairs to get ready. Xander shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "About time."

* * *

Buffy relished the act of getting ready for a night out of fun. It was a nice change of pace to not chose outfits that hid grass stains, blood stains or stains from the latest beastie. It was great to wear tight fitting clothing, without wondering if your stake, knife of other weapon would be properly hidden from public viewing. For many people it was a routine, for a slayer it was an occasion.

Things had been so crazy lately and drinks with her best friend seemed like the perfect night to her. Buffy had selected a crimson colored shirt. It hugged her slight curves. It covered one shoulder before sweeping low under the other arm leaving the second shoulder and some cleavage bare. The hemline followed a similar cut. It sat high on the hip on the covered shoulder side and then swept down to hang below her hip on the bare shouldered side.

She chose a black fitted pencil skirt that came to just above the knees with a small slit up the side. For a finishing touch she slipped on her favorite (but rarely worn) black stiletto Mary Janes. She created a smoky eye effect and some shiny lip-gloss. Twisting her hair she pinned it back into a French twist and pulled several tendrils around her face, softening the effect. The look elongated her neck and made her look soft, yet sexy.

Willow stood in the doorway watching her best friend get ready. She hadn't seen Buffy look this peaceful in a long time. After everything between Spike and Kate, Willow wished she could see in Buffy's head. It wasn't often that an evil being fell in love. They had all thought that Buffy had been Spike's first love. But after everything another twist had played out. Spike had loved Kate. And now Kate was back. She knew Buffy didn't want to start things again with Spike from what she said, but it couldn't be easy to have him come back into her life so suddenly only to realize the first love of his life was back as well. Still, Buffy looked happy and peaceful.

"Looks like I'm going to have some hot arm candy tonight," Willow said.

Buffy smiled. " You look like a hot Wiccan yourself."

Willow had dressed in a gauzy black shirt and black dress pants with stiletto boots. Her hair was longer now and gently curled around her pretty face. Buffy wrapped a scarf around her neck and slipped on her black leather jacket. "Are you ready to go?"

"Absolutely," Willow said. " And I have lots of money for the many drinks I plan on consuming."

"Are you planning on getting plastered?" Buffy asked with a smile.

"Beyond plastered," Willow said. " I dare say shit faced!"

"You dare and you did," Buffy said as she checked her purse for her lip-gloss. "And I'll be right there with you."

"Good let's go," Willow said.

* * *

They took a cab to a bar just outside Stars Hollow. The décor was mix of coffee house, Grecian themes and Parisian themes. In those words it probably should have looked like a wreck, yet somehow it was comfy, elegant and sexy. The place seemed to be only lit with candles and torches plastered on the wall.

They checked their coats and headed into the lion's den. "Fancy," Buffy said as she took her coat check tab from the guy at the front desk.

"Look at all the pretty people," Willow said in awe.

"The amount of botox is astounding," Buffy whispered as they weaved through the tables towards the pull of the bar. " Let's go to where all the pretty drinks are."

"I could pay for my whole college education with the amount of plastic surgery some of these women have…" Willow trailed off. Buffy turned quickly, sensing Willow's alarm, and knocked a women's elbow. Buffy muttered an apology, even as the women stared at her as though she'd tasted something sour, and hurried after Willow.

"Well, I have been here for five seconds and I've already made with the violence," Buffy whispered. "What's with the statue routine?"

Willow grabbed Buffy's elbow and steered her towards the bar. Once they slid into their stools Buffy yanked her elbow away and rubbed it to ease the hold Willow had had on her. "I am a slayer, what's your excuse?" Buffy pouted.

"Sorry," Willow mumbled as she stared over her Buffy's shoulder.

"I'd believe that a lot more if you actually looked me in the eye," Buffy said. " Makes a girl feel un-special."

"I'm sorry. I love you. Won't do it again." Willow said.

"Now you're taking a line out of Spike's book," Buffy muttered under her breath.

Buffy popped a mint into her mouth. "Did you know studies have found trace amounts of urine on bar mints?" Willow piped up without having ever looked at Buffy.

Buffy opened her mouth and let the mint fall out of her tongue into her hand and then preceded to wipe her tongue with a napkin. " Two Long Island ice teas," Buffy said to the bartender.

Once the bartender placed the drinks, Buffy turned to Willow. "What is going on?" Buffy asked, her voice betraying her frustration.

"What?" Willow said as she continued to stare over Buffy's shoulder.

"Will, one second more and I am outta here," Buffy stated.

Willow turned back to Buffy, saw the look of annoyance and looked apologetic. "Sorry Buffy. It's….Ashley is sitting over there with another women."

"Oh," Buffy said, turning to look. Willow grabbed her hand. " Don't look!"

"Hey I'm queen of subtle," Buffy assured her. She pretended to drop her purse and as she bent over to pick it up she looked over her shoulder to where Willow had been staring. "So which one is Ash?"

"The blonde," Willow said. "Err….the more blonde one." She said after realizing that the other stunning woman was also blonde. Talk about feeling inadequate. The other woman was absolutely beautiful.

"Wow, she's…" Buffy started, feeling like her jaw dropped when she fixed her eyes on Willow's potential girlfriend.

"Hot," Willow finished.

"Maybe they are just friends?" Buffy offered.

Willow rolled her eyes. " Yeah, with benefits no less."

"Hey someone could think we're together," Buffy said, " and we're just friends."

"Yes, true. However I don't hold your hand do I?" Willow said having watched the other girl lay her hand over Ashley's in a gesture that could only mean that she didn't drive stick either.

Buffy shrugged. " Not as a rule, no." Buffy sipped her drink as she watched the pain cross over her friend's features.

"I can't believe this! I cancelled the date and a few hours later she's out with someone else!"

"So are you," Buffy pointed out.

"That's different," Willow said as she waved her hand in dismissal. " You're my friend."

Buffy took another sip of her drink. "Not for long," she muttered. "Well this is loads of fun."

Willow frowned. "I'm sorry. It's just that I really, really like her Buffy."

"I know Will," Buffy said, " But you don't know what is going on between them. So try and have fun. Or get shit faced and THEN we'll have some fun."

"Ok good," Willow said. "I'm all yours, I'm here for you my best friend, I am completely here…and, oh my god, she's touching her leg!!! I can't believe she's cheating on me! I should just walk over there and…"

"I'm pretty sure I have feelings for my boss," Buffy stated simply as she pushed the lemon around her drink with her straw.

Willow slowly turned her body around until she was facing Buffy, her eyes widened in surprise. " Well that distracted me," she said.

Buffy gave her head a quick nod. "Good."

"That's what you were doing right?" Distracting me?" Willow asked.

"Absolutely," Buffy said firmly. " And absolutely true."

"Wow," Willow said, staring down at her glass.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. Buffy ordered two shots. "We're going to start a tab. Keep them coming." She informed the bartender.

"Buffy are you serious?" Willow asked.

Buffy nodded. " More drinkage is definitely needed now."

Buffy looked at the shot glass critically before shooting it down. The stuff tasted like liquid fire and it spread quickly through her system. "Blahah…ha…" she mumbled incoherently as she shook her head with her eyes squeezed shut. " Now I remember why I stopped drinking this stuff." Well that and the inconvenient, poorly timed sex with a platinum vampire, she thought.

"Buffy…"Willow said, trying to bring her attention back around.

Buffy toyed with the shot glass between her fingers. The cat was out of the bag now. "I'm serious," Buffy answered simply.

" Well it's a little strange," Willow said. Buffy's look made her back track quickly. " But understandable…sure. I mean, he's a little eccentric but you seem to like guys outside of the box."

Buffy shook her head. " Who are we talking about?"

"Michel," Willow answered. "I guess the accent is kinda sexy. I'm just surprised."

"Well if that's a surprise, then this will blow your mind. My boss is Lorelai, not Michel. I have thoughts about Lorelai. There…I said it."

Willow's eyes widened. " What?!?!"

People started to turn their heads towards the two girls at the bar. Buffy covered her eyes as she turned away from the onlookers. "Subtle Will."

"Sorry, sorry," Willow muttered. She picked up her own shot glass and downed it. The fiery liquid began a slow burn down her throat. "B..But she's a woman."

"I did notice that, yes." Buffy said in hushed tones.

"I…how…what….but," Willow stammered.

"Do that for a couple more weeks and you'll be where I am," Buffy muttered as she lined up another shot.

"Are you sure?" Will asked.

"I, Buffy Summers, have had lesbian thoughts about one Lorelai Gilmore," Buffy said slowly and formally. Saying it out loud was weird.

"She is hot," Willow agreed. She wasn't blind after all.

"But I am straight!" Buffy said. The bartender in front of her stopped mid-pour. Buffy winked at him. "Hey, how's it going? Think you could give us a sec?"

The bartender turned away and hurried to the less eccentric customers. Buffy turned back to Willow. "Just the other night I had some hot dream about Spike. Just cause I have thoughts about Lorelai doesn't mean anything."

"Like what?" Willow asked.

"Well he was the Phantom and I was the innocent slave who did his bidding. Let's just say he had a huge…" Buffy whispered, leaning towards Willow.

"I meant what thoughts about Lorelai?" Willow asked as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh," Buffy said, grinning sheepishly. " I just have sexual thoughts about her." Buffy noticed the bartender standing in front of them.

"You're timing is impeccable!" Buffy said sarcastically. "Just leave the bottle."

"You've been single for awhile. You must have pent up frustration. Maybe it's sex for the mind to think of something you consider taboo," Willow said reasonably.

A slow smile spread across Buffy's face in relief. " It makes sense. Nothing is hotter than taboo right?" Buffy and Willow took another shot. Buffy poured some more into each of their shot glasses. "I can't believe you thought I liked Michel," Buffy laughed.

"Yeah, cause liking Lorelai makes so much more sense," Willow said. "And his accent is not at all sexy."

"Can't understand most of what he says," Buffy agreed. "But still, Lorelai over Michel is so much better."

" It's just a taboo thing Buffy, don't worry about it. It's not like you actually want to act on some of these thoughts," Willow laughed.

Buffy's eyes darted away from Willow's questioning gaze. "Do you?" Willow asked. Buffy smiled a guilty smile. "Buffy Summers," Willow began with an authoritative tone, "do you want to have sexual intercourse with Lorelai?"

Buffy grinned at Willow's tone. Buffy held up her right hand her thumb and index fingers only cm's apart. "Just a little bit."

Willow slid a shot toward Buffy.

"Oh boy," Willow muttered before shooting back her drink.

"Oh girl," Buffy corrected as she followed Willow's lead.

* * *

"Did you ever know that you're my hero?" Buffy said loudly as she threw her arms around Willow's neck.

"You are the wind beneath my wings," Willow answered. Both Buffy and Willow burst into peals of laughter.

Spike stood in the doorway of the house, a smoke dangling from his lips. "Not that bloody song again."

"Did you know you make me fly high?" Buffy giggled as she fell into Spike's arms. Spike righted her. "Are YOU high luv?"

Buffy laughed. "You're funny. Blood shirty, you are," Buffy giggled.

"You Spike speak," Willow laughed. Then her eyes narrowed in thought. She crossed her hands, one over the other as she said, " Reverse those last two words."

"You're both half in the bag!" Spike said with an amused expression.

"What does that even mean? Who is in what bag?" Buffy said as she stumbled over to Willow.

The girls linked arms as they headed inside. They both collided with opposite sides of the doorway and were knocked backwards. "Ow…" Willow muttered as she rubbed her arm.

"Walking linked is dangerous," Buffy agreed, her face serious.

"It injures 1 of Americans every year," Willow said. Willow and Buffy burst into laughter again. Buffy collapsed onto the porch, clutching her stomach as the giggles took over.

Spike tossed his cigarette over the railing, rolled his eyes and bent to scoop up Buffy in his arms. "Unhand me vampire!" Buffy shrieked as she beat against his chest.

"I'm not too crazy about babysitting a drunk slayer myself luv," Spike muttered as he carried her through the doorway.

Xander appeared in the hall. "What is all the commotion? Hey, are you guys boinking again?" Xander accused.

Spike sighed as he set Buffy on her feet. "For crying out loud…no, she's pissed."

Buffy giggled. " I'm not so angry. I'm drunk," she explained. She leaned against Xander smiling up at him.

"Hello, my Xander shaped friend," she giggled.

"Why is it she only hits on me when she's drunk or under a spell?" Xander muttered to no one in particular.

"That's what it takes?" Spike answered.

"Hey, I believe she had to be invisible to be with you," Xander retorted.

"Burn!" Buffy laughed, slapping Spike's arm. " I missed being blinvisible (hiccup)…visible…(hiccup)…not seen," Buffy finished.

"What did you guys drink…a brewery?" Xander asked.

"Well it was between long island ice teas and shots," Buffy said, using her hands emphatically to gesture. " and the shots are very very teeny but pack a big punch." She giggled. "Like me. Teeny but almighty with the strength."

Xander rolled his eyes. " Yes you are a very teeny strength filled slayer. A very drunk teeny person. I am guessing the shots won out."

"Oh yeah," Buffy said, leaning against the doorway as she closed her eyes with a dreamy smile on her face. " The shots won out alright, with long island ice teas a distant second."

Willow stumbled into the hall. "How are you feeling Will?" Xander asked.

"Having lesbian thoughts about my boss," Willow answered, leaning against the wall for support.

Buffy raised her hand. " No. No. That's me."

"Oh yeah." Willow sighed. "My girlfriend is boinking another women…probably."

"Sorry Will," Xander said. Willow's eyes began to tear. Xander put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him.

"More bad touching?" Willow asked.

"No," Xander said. "Seriously why drunk chicks?"

"Cause the line between friends and lovers gets blurry with the alcohol?" Buffy offered. Then she slapped Spike's arm again as she laughed. "Get it? Blurry?"

Spike grabbed her hands and held them together. " I get it pet. No more slap the Spike."

"That girl is hot," Willow said. " I'm going to bed now. Or throw up, whichever comes first." Willow stumbled up the stairs, clutching onto the railing as if it were a lifeline. Xander rolled his eyes as he followed behind her.

"Let me help you," Xander said. He held Willow against his side as she helped her up the stairs.

"My legs feel like jelly," Buffy complained. Then she smiled. "Feels nifty."

"Alright Slayer. Time for bed." Spike insisted. He didn't hesitate to pick her up and throw her over his shoulder-fireman style.

Buffy hit his ass as he started up the stairs. " I'm not sleepy though."

Spike carried her into her room and laid her on the bed. He pulled off her shoes and covered her with a blanket.

"Did you love her?" Buffy asked.

Spike turned just before he got to the door. His whole body seemed to tense, and then he turned and walked to sit next to Buffy on her bed. "Katya?" Buffy nodded. "Yes," he answered.

"Do you still?" Buffy asked.

Spike brushed a piece of hair off her face. "Why do you ask?"

"Because she loves you," Buffy answered, her voice starting to sound farther away as sleep began to hit.

"I don't think she does," Spike said. " I was a git and she seemed pretty angry."

"You tend to bring that out in women," Buffy said, with a half smile on her face. " She's angry because she loves you, not in spite of it…."

"You're very insightful when you're drunk." Spike said with a smile.

"I always thought so, but no one ever listens," Buffy said with a pout.

"Are you ok with this?" Spike asked. "The Kate thing?"

Buffy closed her eyes, a small smile spreading across her face. " I can't blame the girl," she answered dreamily. Then she opened her eyes a little, here face becoming serious. "But no, not really. I don't think I'll ever be ok with us, Spike."

Spike smiled as he bent to kiss her forehead. "Buffy?"

"Hmmmm?"

"What was that about Lorelai?" he whispered.

Buffy frowned, her eyes closed. " Shhh…Buffy sleeping now."

Spike smiled as he got to his feet. By the time he got to the door he could hear the deep, steady sounds of Buffy's breathing as she slept.

* * *

With a strangled sob Kate sat upright, the sheets tangled around her. She clutched her chest where she felt her heart hammering against her ribcage.

Sweat formed in beads over her brow in the aftermaths of the nightmare. In her sleep she had been transported back to that night again. She had felt the coarseness of the rope around her neck, the power that rose from the anger and the overwhelming pain of betrayal from her greatest love.

The pain she had refused to let herself feel that night seemed to be catching up with her tenfold now. Kate drew in a shaky breath and wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. She looked at the clock on her bedside table. 3 am. She had only been asleep for three hours! Her hands were trembling as she freed her from the blankets.

Suddenly she paused feeling the hairs on the back of her neck rise. Kate had the distinct feeling someone was watching her. Getting to her feet slowly she walked towards the feeling-the window. As she stepped into the beam of light from the lamppost she came face to face with someone outside.

Kate's mouth formed an 'o' in a silent scream, her breath momentarily suspended. Once the screaming in her head shut up, recognition took over.

"William," she whispered. Her heart seemed to jump up into her throat with the joy of seeing his face. It was a moment when she felt like Katya again. Then she remembered that he was Spike now.

"I mean Spike," she corrected as she ran her fingers through her, serious, bed head.

Spike stood outside the window watching her. "Going to invite me in luv?"

Kate frowned. "And why would I do that?"

"I can't come in unless you invite me in," he explained.

"I'm well aware of the rules of vampires," Kate said as she crossed her arms over her chest. " What I wasn't aware of was the perverse desire to seduce women…and for what?"

"Because I wanted to prove to my sire that I was bloody good enough," Spike said.

"And you failed," Kate said.

"I fell in love," he corrected quickly. His voice sounded like a growl, his eyes were smoldering.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Please." She sighed the word, "Do you usually let the person you love die?"

"Kate…I…" Spike began. Kate held up her hand in a sign of silence.

"Spike please…I don't want to hear it. I can't bare to listen to you try to explain. It hurts too much," Kate said, feeling the swell of pain rise again. "It makes me so angry. I just….can't….." Kate clutched her head between her hands as the blood began to race through her temples. She felt so dizzy.

"Kate…" Spike said, an edge of alarm in his voice.

"Just….stop," Kate gasped. The dizziness was getting worse and worse. Her vision began to blur as she felt the ground beneath her rise and swell, only to dip down sharply. Her stomach began to match the rhythm. Then she realized the sound of blood rushing through her head was actually the roar of the building shaking around her. The wood groaned in protest and the sound of objects breaking filled the air. Kate squeezed her hands into fists at her side as the anger and pain began to boil inside of her.

"Kate!" Spike yelled.

Kate looked up to see a piece of plaster break loose and come plummeting towards her head. She didn't even have time to scream. She was hit hard from the side and smashed into the ground with enough force to rattle her teeth. It had happened so fast, that she didn't even have time to register the pain, until seconds later. With a pain filled groan, her head lulled to the side. The piece of plaster that had fallen was laying only inches away, dangerously close to where her head lay now.

The weight pressing her into the floorboards was another shock. Kate blinked to clear her vision and saw Spike's face inches from her own. "What the hell?" Kate whispered, as she stared up at his face. "Earthquake?"

Spike raised himself up, planting his hands on either side of her head. " That was no earthquake luv, that was you."

Kate pushed Spike off of her with a grunt as she stumbled to her feet. "Me? Did you hit YOUR head? The ground was shaking!!! The sky was literally falling!!" Kate said enthusiastically as she gestured wildly to the mess around her.

"I saw it luv, nothing happened out there. This building was the only one shaking. I'm guessing along with your memory you got a power boost as well." Spike exclaimed as he rolled to his feet, lighting a cigarette.

"Get out of here!" Kate demanded between clenched teeth.

"I just saved your pretty little head," Spike pointed out.

"Too little, too late," Kate reminded him.

"About that luv," Spike began.

"I'm not your love, stop calling me that!" Kate yelled. She walked over and snatched the cigarette from his mouth as she walked to the window and tossed it out. "Now get out!"

Spike crossed the room so fast he appeared as a blur. One minute he was staring at her like a parent would look at a child having a tantrum; and the next he had her by her upper arms in a vice grip. Kate cried out in a mixture of surprise and pain.

Spike shook her roughly. "Would you just listen to me for a minute! You've got me by the short hairs here when all I am trying to do is explain, but with you carrying on I can't think straight. So you're going to listen right?"

Before Kate could react Spike thrust her into a nearby chair. Kate gripped the arms of the chair to keep from toppling over with the force. Spike began to pace in front of her rubbing his hands through his hair looking as nervous as possible. If Kate weren't so mad she'd find it endearing.

"About that night," Spike began as he finally took a seat on the edge of her bed so that he could face her.

Kate opened her mouth to say something, but Spike suspected that and covered her mouth with his hand. "Na uh pet, my turn to talk. Your turn to listen."

Kate hesitated and then gave a nod of her head. Her jaw was set in a firm line, insistent on remaining as calm as possible.

" When you let me go," Spike began, " I was met in the woods by Dru and Darla; two vampires I was with. I figure by that look on your face you know who they are. Right. Blimey. Ok, I had promised you to them, merely a distraction luv…Kate. Turns out they had followed me and knew I had fallen in love with you. They were the ones who told your father that's why they found you so easily that night."

Kate remembered her family bursting through the trees that night like a saving grace. It was a moment, no matter how brief, when she thought they had cared. Her eyes began to fill with bitter tears. Her family had known long before she had and had come to capture them both.

Spike paused. " You alright?"

Kate wiped away her tears with a shaky hand as she drew in an equally shaky breath. "Continue."

"They knocked me out and the next thing I remember is waking up tied to a bloody tree. I saw you and I tried to get loose. I tried to yell out. They made me watch you die as punishment for my humanity."

Kate felt her lower lip tremble. " So you didn't let me die. You couldn't stop it?"

"I tried Kate. They punished me for it. With you dead I gave up. Returned to my old ways. Figured I'd gone carrot top for a while. I killed my first slayer soon after to prove to myself that I was still evil. Through the years I've thought of you often. And when I saw you again, it was like nothing I've felt before."

Kate nodded, biting her lower lip and staring skyward to stop the tears from spilling over.

"Kate?" Spike said after a moment.

"I….ummmm…this is so overwhelming," Kate stammered. " First I wander around for a month in a fog not remembering who or where I belong. I end up in this small town working as a waitress until a demon kidnaps me. Then my memory comes back and even though it's been over a hundred years it feels like yesterday. Only the pain of betrayal weighed on me as though a centuries worth was lying on my shoulders. And then I find out that you didn't betray me…and I just….I can't…"

Kate buried her head in her hands. " I just feel so lost." She managed, before bursting into tears.

Spike went to hug her, but Kate's head snapped up. "Please don't," she said weakly, her eyes pleading.

Spike dropped to his knees in front of her. " Kate we were in love."

"I was in love." Kate corrected. " Evil can't love, its just gratification. Had I lived you would have turned me eventually. You were in love with that fact that I loved you."

"Evil loved you," Spike said, his voice betraying his frustration. " There was something different between us pet, I don't care what you say or think. I know it. And if you don't believe me then, believe me now. I have a soul now."

"You were cursed?" Kate asked in disbelief.

"Not cursed," Spike said with a wry smile. "I got it myself."

Kate shook her head in awe. "I can't say that I wouldn't have turned you," Spike said, "I don't know that. I might have being the git I am. I don't even know where we go from here; I just had to let you know. No matter what, we have something special. A connection that I can't explain"

"You sound like a hallmark card," Kate said with a small smile.

Spike smiled. " I know and I'm just sick about it."

Kate laughed. Spike smiled as he tilted her head up to meet his face. " How are we so connected?" Kate asked.

"Because," Spike said as he gripped her hands between his. " I saved you from the falling plaster."

Kate frowned. " I don't see how…"

"You didn't invite me in," Spike said.

Kate's eyes widened. " What?"

"You didn't invite me in, but in that moment I was able to get inside," Spike explained as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. Kate placed her hand over his, pressing the coolness of him against her cheek. " I don't know what to think anymore," she whispered as her eyes fluttered shut. The fight was going out of her now. She was so tired. "Please go Spike. I just can't right now…."

Spike opened his mouth to say something and then thought better of it and closed it again. Their eyes met in the silence and then Spike nodded firmly showing that he understood. He got to his feet. Kate watched him walk away as a weird panic feeling began to build in her chest. She had a flashback of watching him walk away that night. Unsure if she would ever see him again. "Wait!" Burst out of her mouth before she even knew what she was asking him to wait for.

Spike turned and Kate flew across the room into his arms, her mouth crushing against his. Spike hesitated momentarily before wrapping his arms around her and crushing her against him.

. The kiss wasn't slow or romantic but a battle to vent every emotion that had happened in their short romance. Kate pressed herself against him, trying to bring herself closer to his body, clinging onto him like he was the only solid object in a spinning room.

Her head was swimming with conflicting emotions. She couldn't be with him. Not yet anyway.

"What was that?" Spike said as they broke apart gasping.

Kate traced the line of his lower lip with her finger, as she looked up at him. "Closure," she said simply but firmly.

Spike narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Closure?"

Kate nodded. "What does this all mean Spike? This confession, what is it for?" So he had loved her, but where did they go from here. Did he want her? Or just to give her peace of mind?

"It's your call," Spike said.

Kate caressed his face, unable to pull herself away from the comfort of his body pressing against hers. " I don't know who I am anymore. I don't feel the innocence of Katya anymore, yet her memories are the only ones I have. It is so conflicting. Like there's something missing from the past that I don't remember. I don't even know how I am here. I just feel like someone so different."

"Does that someone love me?" Spike asked, as he held her face between his hands.

Kate blinked. His face was so close. She had missed that face so much. She searched inside her, trying to separate Katya from this new person to find that answer. Even as Katya her love for him had been new and there had never been a chance to really know it. And then the answer came.

She looked up at Spike and took a breath as she answered as honestly as possible. " I don't know."

* * *


	16. Breaking the Ice

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow 

**Chapter 15**: **Breaking the Ice**

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I do not own either Buffy or Gilmore Girls or any of its characters. I write purely for your entertainment and mine!

**A/N**:. And although I have the ending of this story plotted out…I think I might write a sequel series. Though we will see how you guys feel or if I should just leave well enough alone. haha

* * *

Willow stirred her morning coffee careful not to bring the spoon in contact with the mug-a mistake she had made earlier. A mistake that still reverberated through her head even now, jarring her head. She felt like she belonged in a slow motion segment, where the camera would emphasize water dropping into a sink, the ticking of the clock and any other mundane sound. Sounds that you took for granted, except for when you were hung over and every noise seemed amplified.

Buffy stumbled into the doorway leaning against the frame for a moment to recover her strength. She stared at the island wondering if her legs would hold her up a second longer until she could sit. Buffy took a breath and stumbled to the island gripping the side of the counter to pull herself up onto the stool.

"You look like how I feel," Willow groaned.

Buffy made a face. She laid her head against the cool counter hoping the cold would alleviate the headache. " That's because I threw up so much I've actually turned inside out. You are looking at Buffy's insides right now."

"Whose idea was it to mix various drinks together to make a brand new drink?" Willow asked. She sipped her coffee tentatively, waiting to see if it was going to sit well before drinking any more.

Buffy raised her head, peering out beneath her bangs. "Yours. Definitely yours."

"I hate me right now," Willow muttered.

" I hate you a little too." Buffy agreed as she lay her head back down.

"Yeah, well whose idea was it to sing?" Willow shot back.

"It's what you do when there's karaoke, a stage and a mic." Buffy pointed out defensively.

"Yes except for the fact it wasn't a karaoke bar, the stage was the top of the bar and your mic was the bartender's hand," Willow said, trying to keep a straight face.

Buffy was horrified, as she buried her head into the side of her arm. " Oh god! I thought that was a dream."

Willow shrugged. " He gave you his phone number, so it wasn't a complete loss."

Buffy groaned. " Would very much like to crawl under a rock and die now."

"At least we had fun," Willow pointed out. " I think. I can't really remember a lot. I remember seeing Ashley, I remember lots of drinking and I remember your confession."

Buffy groaned. "Not now Will."

"Maybe it was the drinks talking," Willow suggested.

"I wasn't drunk when I told you," Buffy said. "I was serious, but I still don't want to talk about it."

"Hey everyone!" Dawn said cheerfully as she breezed into the kitchen.

Buffy and Willow cringed and groaned at how loud it was. "Quiet down little girl," Buffy muttered under her breath.

"You guys look horrible," Dawn said as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"You gonna hurt her or what?" Willow muttered.

"You're so much closer," Buffy shot back.

"You're a slayer!" Willow retorted.

"Thus I could kill her," Buffy said as she made a face at Willow like a five year old.

"So?" Willow shot back.

"So?" Buffy mimicked in a high voice.

Dawn had watched the display between them. Rolling her eyes she tapped the spoon against the side of the cup until Buffy and Willow winced and stopped their bickering.

The noise made Buffy's teeth hurt. " Though if I do kill her no jury would convict me surely?"

"Are you going to work?" Dawn asked.

"No," Buffy muttered.

"You can't escape if forever," Willow muttered.

"Escape what?" Dawn asked.

"Escape the….hangover," Buffy lied as she shot a warning look at Willow. " Besides I am not escaping anything, I feel like crap."

"You can't miss work for a hangover," Dawn said. " You make me go to school!"

Buffy rolled her eyes. " Not if your head feels like mine! It feels as if my head is rejecting my neck," Buffy moaned and then her head snapped up in a way that she would pay for later. " Wait, when were you hung over?"

Dawn smiled mischievously as she planted a kiss on Buffy's forehead. " See you later."

"Where are you going?" Buffy called.

"Jenn's." Dawn called. She turned at the doorway, wrinkling her nose. " And you should shower, even your hair smells like booze."

Buffy stuck out her tongue. " You are so nice to your big sister," Buffy said sarcastically.

Dawn smiled before grabbing her coat and disappearing outside.

"I'm going to lie down for a while," Buffy said as she slid off the stool. " Can you call the Inn and tell Lorelai I'll be in to help her with the decorations later?"

"I'm too tired," Willow moaned.

"Will you are on holidays you get to stay in bed. Take pity on me. Help me out. " Buffy pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

"No eyes," Willow warned. " Make Xander do it."

"He's already left for his date," Buffy pointed out.

"I have a date," Willow said, as though she had just remembered. " Ashley left me a text message this morning. We have a coffee date."

"Ah, well good luck with that. Remember to keep an open mind." Buffy said as she stifled a yawn. " Just call Lorelai first…please?"

Willow nodded. "Fine."

"You're a peach," Buffy said as she shuffled out of the kitchen and back to the warm comfort of her bed.

* * *

Clearly everyone was taking advantage of the first day of holidays. Children of all ages were at Stars Hollow Ice Rink, skating with the freedom of no school for two weeks. When Xander had called Brooke about their date, she had told him that she had to come into Stars Hollow to drop off paperwork and that he should chose what they do. Having been new to Stars Hollow himself he had asked Dawn for help. He probably shouldn't have asked a teenage girl for dating advice now that he thought about it.

It was a beautiful day though. The sun was shining making it warmer than it had been all season. The air was still crisp with gave everyone a slight flush in his or her cheeks. The setting looked like something out of a postcard.

Xander was more interested in the setting beside him. Brooke was sitting on the bench next to him, bent over as she tied the laces of her skates. She had a white wool cap pulled low over her curly hair, and a thick coat vest over her red sweater. Xander noticed that when the sun caught her hair it shone with streaks of golds and reds. Xander checked himself. He was noticing how sun caught a women's hair. Little thoughts like this meant he was clearly into her. That was fast, he thought. He hadn't noticed a woman like that since Anya. It had been a long time, but the thought of a relationship was still scary. Part of him felt like he was betraying Anya.

"You ok Xander?" Brooke asked.

Xander looked down at her mitten clad hand lying on top of his. She's touching me, always a good sign he thought. Xander had completely dazed off and found himself staring at Brooke's smiling face.

"Just so you know the whole staring thing is not at all stalker like and creepy," Brooke smiled.

Xander laughed nervously. " Sorry I'm a little nervous I guess."

"It's ok," Brook said as she gave his hand a squeeze. " To be honest…I am a little nervous too."

"Really?" Xander asked. To be honest he was more surprised than relieved.

"Yes really," Brooke laughed. " First dates are nerve-wracking to say the least. And you haven't seen my below average skating skills yet."

Brooke got to her feet, testing her balance of the skates and then held her hand to Xander. " I hope you'll want to see me again after you see this."

Xander laughed as he took her hand and stood up. " Somehow I don't think that'll be a problem."

Together they stepped out onto the ice. Brooke gripped the side of the rink as she brought both feet onto the ice. Xander stepped effortlessly onto the ice and held out his hand to her. " I'll hold you up."

Brooke smiled. " Why don't we just stick to the sides of the ice where the wall is? I hear it's a new kind of skating experience that everyone should do."

Xander laughed. He skated over to her and put one arm around her waist, drawing her closer. "Well this isn't so bad," Brooke sighed, as she leant against him.

"So, on to first date questions," Brooke said. " You said you were new to Stars Hollow, where did you live before?"

"Well I was in Rome for a year or so," Xander said.

"Rome?" Brooke said. "Wow, a world traveler."

"Not really," Xander said. " I just went there for a while because…well, we were helping out some students."

"Are you a teacher?" Brooke asked.

Why couldn't he just say traveling? This was going to be hard. " No. Just helping a couple of girls study there. Giles was their watch…teacher. And I was just assisting."

"Wow," Brooke said. " A watchteacher. Interesting."

Xander smiled. " English term I guess."

"Right," Brooke said suspiciously.

"It's complicated," Xander said finally, hoping the subject would be dropped before he burst out with his whole life story.

"A girl?" Brooke guessed.

" You could say that," Xander said.

"Where did you live before that?" Brooke asked.

"Well I was born in Sunnydale and lived their most of my life before going to Rome."

"Sunnydale? Sunnydale, California?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, why?" Xander asked.

"Wasn't that buried in the earthquake?" Brooke asked.

Ah crap, Xander thought. " Yeah. We got out just before it happened."

"Wow. You sure have had and interesting life."

Interesting was putting it mildly. " I guess so." Xander said. " It's a lot more interesting now." He smiled at her suggestively.

Brooke smiled. " Same here."

Xander tightened his grip on her as they took another lap around the rink. Brooke giggled, as she tried to keep up with him. "Not so fast!" She giggled. " I look like a drunk marionette doll here!"

Xander laughed. " Sorry." He slowed down a bit. He liked having her pressed against his side. Instead of being a goofball, he was feeling very masculine…holding onto a girl who needed him to keep from falling. In the past it had been the other way around.

"Hey Xander, why were you so surprised when I said I was nervous too," Brooke asked after a moment.

"You just never seem nervous. You always seem…"

"Bitchy?" Brooke finished.

Xander laughed. " No…I mean I never thought…"

"Don't worry about it," Brooke said. Xander smiled, gratefully. " I just seem that way at work, it keeps the guys from bothering me. It's hard being a women in a workplace full of men."

"Yeah," Xander said. " They can be jerks sometimes."

"But not you," Brooke said. " You never did that stuff. Or said that stuff."

"I kept the thoughts to myself. I'm more 'think about it guy' than 'act on it guy'." Xander laughed.

"Oh?" Brooke nudged him with her shoulder. " What thoughts were those?"

"Ah, I'm not one to think and tell."

Brooke blushed. Xander smiled. " Are you blushing?" He said as his ego took a boost.

"You're not supposed to point it out!" Brooke said as she shoved him playfully. Xander jumped back laughing and in the commotion their legs were tangled and they both fell to the ice.

Both of them burst into peals of laughter. Xander raised himself up on his elbow staring down at her. He pushed the hair away from her face. " Is this the cliché where the laughter dies down as we stare at each other before kissing?" He asked, with his usual goofy smile on his face.

Brooke smiled. " Well it is a cliché for a reason," she said huskily.

Xander dipped his head and brushed her lips with his own, softly. Brooke sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck as he dipped down to kiss her again. Then she started giggling, reverberating the sound through his chest. Xander raised his head. " My kissage produces giggling?"

"No. Your nose is cold," Brooke said with a smile as she tapped the end of his nose with her finger.

"Oh," Xander laughed. "Well we should move. Not only are we now a speed bump on the ice, but the cold is spreading to my nether regions."

Brooke laughed. " We can't have that."

Xander pulled himself to his feet and Brooke along with him. " What a sad finish to an almost unblemished skating experience," Brooke said as she wiped ice off her pants.

" We can do better." Xander said. Before Brooke could ask what, Xander grabbed her around the waist and dipped her backwards, planting a kiss on her lips. Brooke giggled as she wrapped her hands around his neck. The gesture was met by applause from their fellow skaters.

Xander righted her and they both took an exaggerated bow. Brooke clung to Xander as they skated off the ice.

Once they were firmly on land Brooke turned to him. " So you bared my horrible skating do you still want to see me?"

Xander pretended to think about it. " How about hot chocolate. And a date to the Independence Inn's Christmas party?"

"Hot chocolate sounds great!" Brooke said as a wide smile spread across her face. "And the Christmas party sounds great too. I'd love too."

"See, breaking the ice wasn't so bad for a first date," Xander grinned as he put an arm around her shoulders.

"My ass says otherwise," Brooke said.

"Oh you took it literally…you are funny," Xander said dryly.

"You see what I did there?" Brooke laughed.

"I did and I commend you for it," Xander laughed.

Brooke laughed as she wrapped her arm around his waist, hugging him to her side as they made their way to the nearest coffee shop.

* * *

Kate took the empty plates and coffee cups and walked over to the counter. Xander and his date sat in the corner smiling at each other over two cups of hot chocolate. Kate smiled at the picture they made and felt that familiar longing every single girl had when she saw a couple in the first weeks of a new relationship.

"Kate!" came a loud voice behind her.

Kate spun around, alarmed, and was grabbed by the arms. She took a deep inward breath as she already had bruises from Spike. "Why the arms?" she muttered as she found that it was Luke who had grabbed her.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Kate said. "Mind letting me go?"

'Oh," Luke said, as if just realizing he had grabbed her. He dropped his arms to the sides, taking a step back. " Sorry. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine," Kate said, remembering the cover story now. " Ah right, very sick. All better now."

"Not that," Luke said in wonder. " I mean your apartment! There is plaster everywhere! They say it was a the construction nearby…which I don't really understand, but are you ok?"

Kate winced as she remembered the apartment. "Yes I'm fine. I hadn't seen you yet so I didn't get a chance to tell you."

"Taylor told me," Luke said. He ushered Kate over to a chair and sat her down. " He went on about bylaws and construction do's and don'ts. I've let rent slide for two months and that shut him up for now."

"Luke, I'm fine. Don't worry."

"I should have known it wasn't sturdy before renting it to you," Luke said. Kate was taken aback by his concern and felt a smile spread across her face.

"Luke, really. I am ok. Don't worry about it. '

" I will fix it," Luke said, getting to his feet so quickly that Kate felt a breeze against her face.

"Right. Ok. Moment over," Kate muttered as she got to her feet as well. She reached out for Luke's hand. " Luke just wait until later. It's fine now. I'm working anyway."

"Ok, right." Luke said adjusting his baseball cap nervously. He seemed so restless that Kate found herself laughing. Luke looked surprised and then realized how he had acted and then found himself laughing along with her.

"I think I just got a glimpse into the way Kirk acts," Luke laughed. Kate laughed harder. It felt good to laugh. "I will come over tonight and fix it."

Kate shook her head. " I don't want to trouble you."

"It's no trouble. I am the landlord. Plus, I'll bring us something to eat." Luke suggested.

"Eat?" Kate said with an innocent smile. " Food would suggest a date."

Luke smiled. " Would it? Hmmm…I guess it would."

Kate's eyes widened in surprise as Luke smiled at her and then walked back to the kitchen. Kate watched him go, waiting for him to turn around and explain what he meant. He didn't come back out.

" What just happened?" Kate said out loud to no one in particular.

* * *

Willow looked around the busy coffee shop growing more and more irritated as time went by. She had showered, put her make up on, and done her hair for this and each step had felt like a painstakingly long chore. She had medicated herself enough that her headache was just a dull ache, but she still felt like crap. And somehow she felt like seeing Ashley wasn't going to be as great as it normally was. Seeing Ashley after last night could only make her feel crappier. Willow hated confrontation.

Ashley walked in; dressed in a black pants and a lime green cashmere sweater that made Willow feel like taking her right there. Only Ashley could make a sweater look like she was a step away from naked.

Ashley found Willow easily in the crowd and waved as she headed over. Ashley didn't look like her normally confident self, Willow noticed. Instead her confidence looked like it was replaced by nervousness.

"Hey," Ashley said as she slipped into the chair opposite Willow.

"Hey," Willow answered, stirring her hot chocolate.

"Let's just get to the point," Ashley said quickly. Willow looked up. This was it. Ashley was dumping her before Willow had even had time to confront her about the other women. This was so unfair.

"Fine," Willow mumbled. This was fast becoming the worst day ever.

"I know you saw me with Madie last night," Ashley said.

"Madie?"

"My ex-girlfriend," Ashley explained.

Ex-girlfriend?! Of course, Willow thought. And then Willow thought about it. Ashley had seen her? " You knew I was there?" Willow asked.

"It was kind of hard not to notice you and that girl dancing on top of the bar."

Willow hung her head, feeling a flush spread over her face. "You saw that? Wow, this is embarrassing."

Ashley looked down at her hands folded in her lap. " She's pretty. That girl you were with."

Willow looked up, surprised. " Buffy? She's my best friend. We're not…like that."

Ashley looked relieved. " Really?"

Willow smiled in spite of the fact that she thought Ashley was moments away from dumping her. " Yeah."

"It's just that you cancelled our date and then I saw you with her." Ashley said.

"Well I cancelled because I did have a family thing come up. Buffy and I live together. Along with Xander and Buffy's sister. I couldn't get out of it, but it ended earlier than I thought. And Buffy and I hadn't gone out in awhile and I thought it was too late to call you," Willow explained in a rush of words.

"Oh, I'm relieved," Ashley said. " I admit I was a little jealous."

"You were jealous!?" Willow burst out. " You were the one sitting with the play boy centerfold and she was all over you."

"All over me?" Ashley asked.

"Well…yeah," Willow stammered, feeling rapidly more stupid as the silence drew on. " She was…ah…touching your hand." Yep I am officially a tool, Willow thought.

Ashley laughed. " Well god forbid she touch my hand. Haven't you ever been friends with ex's?"

Willow thought about her history. One ex left town, one died and one was still in Rome. " No." she said.

"Oh. That's too bad." Ashley said. " Well Madie is one of my closet friends. We were friends before we were lovers. Clearly a romantic relationship wasn't for us, but we didn't want to lose that friendship. I hope that's ok."

"Yeah." Willow shrugged. " That's great for you."

"Are you ok?" Ashley asked.

"Well that depends. Did you come here to say you didn't want to see me anymore?" Willow asked, unable to meet her eyes.

Ashley was shocked. " What? Willow that's not why I asked you here," Ashley said. Willow looked up and met her eyes. Ashley covered Willow's hand with her own. " I just wanted to explain why you saw me with Madie. I wanted to know if you were breaking up with me?"

"Breaking up with you?" Willow said incredulously. " You're like…the hottest women ever, I just figured a lot of people would want you. Like Madie."

Ashley smiled. " Well as long as you're one of those people, I hope you'll stick around. You think of me as this wonderful woman, but don't you see that I think that of you. Don't you think I worry that another women wants you?"

Willow smiled. " Honestly. No."

"You are gorgeous and funny and I love being with you," Ashley said, a faint blush coming to her cheeks.

"Wow," Willow sighed under her breath. " Well I feel stupid now."

"You aren't stupid Willow," Ashley said. " We are both new to this and it takes awhile to figure things out. Are we exclusive, aren't we? Do we mesh well together or not? There are lots of questions in the beginning."

"Well we haven't meshed yet," Willow said playfully.

Ashley laughed. " True."

"I don't want to date anyone else but you," Willow said.

Ashley smiled. " Same here."

They sat in silence for a moment. Ashley reached into her purse and brought out her wallet. She took a couple of bills out and put them on the table. " Let's go."

Willow looked up in surprise. " Go? Where?"

Ashley smiled seductively. " Mesh."

Willow grabbed her purse. " I don't usually have desert before dinner, but you're on."

Ashley laughed as she took Willow's hand. " You ok with this?'

Willow smiled and then gave Ashley a quick kiss. " Absolutely."

* * *

" A little to the left. Yeah, right there. No, no a little higher. Perfect," Buffy said.

Lorelai looked down at Buffy. " Can you hand me the pin?"

Buffy took a pin from the container in her hand and handed it up to Lorelai. " These decorations look great Lorelai."

Lorelai smiled as she pinned the holly into place. She stepped down from the ladder and stood beside Buffy. She looked up at the holly and smiled. " It really does look good!"

"The lobby looks great too," Buffy said. " Who thought of putting decorations in the guest rooms?"

"That would be moi," Lorelai said, as she picked up another section of bough. " The lobby is beautiful but guests spend a majority of time in their rooms so I thought bringing some Christmas spirit into their rooms would be a good idea."

"Definitely," Buffy agreed.

Buffy had taken a nap earlier that had alleviated most of her headache and after the longest and hottest shower in history she felt up to leaving the confines of her bed. She had dressed down a little as per Lorelai's request. Buffy wasn't supposed to be working today but had told Lorelai (before the night of endless drinking) that she would help decorate the rooms. Lorelai had told her that she didn't need to dress up and Buffy took full advantage.

However when she spotted Lorelai, she realized that Lorelai had also dressed down and made 'dressing down' look good. Buffy had stood in the hallway for a moment and watched as Lorelai hung the boughs. Lorelai had dressed in a pair of faded and torn jeans.

Buffy shook her head in disbelief of the thoughts that were going through her head. What the hell was wrong with her? Taboo, taboo, and taboo she kept thinking over and over. She had pent up sexual frustration. That was all.

Lorelai had spotted her then, and her thoughts were pushed from her mind. And now two hours and many rooms later they were hanging more decorations. Lorelai wished this wasn't the last room, spending time with Buffy was so much fun for her. They were talking more about their lives and laughing over past history. It wasn't work oriented as it always had been in the past.

" Thank you for helping me," Lorelai said. " I could have got Michel to help me but he would have sat there and complained the whole time about how Paul could have done a better job."

"It's not a problem," Buffy said as she handed Lorelai another section.

"Well I know how hang overs are," Lorelai said.

Buffy rolled her eyes. " I don't usually get hung over." She explained.

"Don't worry about it," Lorelai said as she climbed the stepladder. " I find the morning after food is the most important."

"I couldn't think of eating this morning." Buffy said.

"Ah, and that is the mistake most make," Lorelai explained. " Certain foods actually help. My personal favorite is Mac and cheese."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, you have to find your hang over food. And lots of water." Lorelai explained.

"You sound like quite the authority," Buffy laughed.

"Lots of break ups," Lorelai explained with a laugh.

Buffy nodded her head in understanding. Though her break up cure tended to be beating the crap out of the latest beastie.

"Ok, pin me," Lorelai said.

Buffy handed her a pin. Lorelai took the pin and reached up to hang the bough. " A little higher," Buffy said as she stood back to look.

Lorelai lifted up onto her tiptoes as she tried to get the bough in the right place. Lorelai took her other hand off the ladder and went to put the pin in place. As she struggled to get higher, she felt the ladder shift to the side. Lorelai gasped out loud as she reached out to grab onto the ladder, but her hand slipped. Buffy threw the boughs to the side and lunged forward. All in fast-forward, Buffy reached up and caught her before Lorelai hit the floor. Lorelai fell against Buffy grabbing onto her shoulders to keep from hitting the ground.

Buffy readjusted her hold, her hands now firmly around Lorelai's waist. Lorelai lifted her head slowly; acutely aware at how her body was pressed up against Buffy's.

"Wow, you're strong for a tiny women." Lorelai laughed, but it sounded strained and more nervous than amused. Buffy gave her a shaky smile as the butterflies in her stomach began to twist an exotic dance being this close to Lorelai.

"Not a problem," Buffy said. Her voice was low and breathy with Lorelai's face only inches from her own.

They stared at each other for a moment as a cloud of tension seemed to lower over the room. Suddenly every sound was emphasized; the ticking of the clocks, the sound of their heavy breathes. Even the silence seemed to be deafening.

"This is weird," Lorelai said. Finally vocalizing the feelings they had both had for weeks now.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. " Or weird, cause it's not weird?"

Without thinking Lorelai glanced down at Buffy's lips, wondering what would happen if she just leaned forward a little. Would Buffy run away? Was this right? Thoughts ran through her head and it made her stomach churn with indecision.

Buffy felt her head tilt up in reflex bringing her lips closer to Lorelai's. So close that Buffy could feel Lorelai's breath tickling her lips.

"Hey Buffy?" Came a voice.

Buffy and Lorelai sprang apart as if they had been electrocuted. Willow stood in the doorway, shock written all over her face. Lorelai felt like the ground had crushed in below her. Running her hand nervously through her hair she looked between Buffy and Willow. " Thanks Buffy." She looked at Willow. " I fell."

Willow nodded her head. " Right."

"Well, I have to get working on the menus with Sookie. If I don't she'll be making more deserts than dinner." Lorelai laughed nervously.

Buffy nodded at her as she dug her hands into her pockets. " I'll talk to you later then."

Lorelai said her good byes as she all but ran for the door. Once Lorelai was gone Willow shot an accusing look at Buffy. Buffy sighed, covering her face with her hands as she fell into a sitting position on the bed.

"She fell?" Willow mimicked.

"Yeah, she did," Buffy, said defensively. " I caught her."

"And?" Willow asked.

"And," Buffy said taking a breath. " We almost kissed."

"What does that mean Buffy?" Willow asked.

Buffy threw her hands up into the air in defeat. " I don't know Willow. I don't know! I have no idea what is wrong with me! Everything I knew about myself was lost the day Sunnydale was sucked into the ground. I just don't know anymore."

"Buffy I…"

"No. I don't want to hear it Will. This isn't a spell and I don't know if it's a taboo thing, sexual frustration or what? It's not a sexual identity thing. I like men still…it's just that when I'm with her…" Buffy took a breath. " When I'm with her I don't care about the reasoning behind the actions, I just care about the actions."

"Wow, I don't know what to say," Willow said.

"There is nothing to say," Buffy said. "Maybe I am just tired of living by right and wrong. Good and evil. Life and death. I just want to feel free. I'm sick of questions. I want to be crazy."

Willow smiled. "I get that."

Buffy smiled. "I'm gonna go. I'm tired." Buffy said as she got to her feet. She squeezed Willow's shoulder reassuringly before she headed downstairs.

Once she hit the lobby Buffy slowed as she looked to her right and found Lorelai standing behind the desk, looking back at her. Buffy stalled as they stared at each other. Questions drifted between them, as they were both aware of what could have happened in that room. Then Buffy took a breath and walked away.


	17. Stars Hollow: Red Light District

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 16: Stars Hollow: Red Light District **

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I do not own either Buffy or Gilmore Girls or any of its characters. I write purely for your entertainment and mine!

A/N: This chapter took forever cause I just kept erasing everything because it was sucking royally. But it's supposed to be a fluff chapter to set things in motion…sigh enough out of me.

* * *

Lorelai ripped through her wardrobe as if her life depended on it. She couldn't find a thing to wear. Sure, she had a wide range of clothes and yet, she couldn't think of a single thing to wear.

"Any luck?" Came Rory's voice from the doorway.

"Yes I found something in no time and now I'm just tearing through my closet for fun," Lorelai replied with mock enthusiasm.

"Wow you're cranky pre-evening coffee," Rory said.

"Sorry kid," Lorelai said with a sigh. Then her eyes lit up with hope as she pulled a, geometric clash of color, blouse from her closet. Lorelai turned to face Rory, holding the shirt against her. " What about…"

"No," Rory interrupted.

"But…" Lorelai protested.

"No." Rory repeated.

Lorelai looked at the blouse critically. " Yeah, you're right. Why the hell did I buy this?"

"I wanna say intoxication?" Rory suggested. " Or on a dare?"

"Careful…I feed you," Lorelai reminded her as she hung the blouse back in her closet.

"Why are you putting it back if you hate it?" Rory asked.

Lorelai shrugged her shoulders. " Too lazy. I'll just throw it out later."

"Which is probably how it lasted so long in your closet in the first place," Rory said as she entered the room. She crossed the room and took a seat on the edge of her mom's bed.

"If you're going to mock me you can go," Lorelai said with her nose in the air.

Rory smiled. " No more mocking," Rory vowed.

"That does me no good! Help me!" Lorelai pleaded.

Rory and Lorelai switched places. Lorelai flopped down onto the bed, sighing in frustration.

"What are you going for?" Rory asked as she began to flip through her mother's closet.

"Something warm but nice," Lorelai answered as she grabbed a pillow from her bed and crumpled it up under her head. " I'm trying to represent the Inn."

"Well, we're all going to be in the square and it's freezing out there," Rory pointed out.

Lorelai cocked her head to the side as she eyed her daughter critically. " Your point?"

"You will be wearing a jacket. No one's going to see what you're wearing."

"Exactly! Thus it makes it even harder to pick."

"But no one is going to see if you're well dressed."

"So I have to create the illusion of being well dressed," Lorelai stressed.

"You're officially too crazy to be allowed in society," Rory sighed as she went back to finding an outfit for her mom.

"Be good to your mother," Lorelai chided," the stress of Christmas at the Inn is taking over."

"Isn't Buffy helping?" Rory asked.

That name still managed to start the butterflies going and her heart leap into her throat. With the number of times Buffy came into her mind, Lorelai would have to get used to the rollercoaster her insides took.

"Yes," Lorelai said trying to keep her voice as normal as possible. " She's very good."

"I don't think her sister likes me too much," Rory muttered absentmindedly.

"Who wouldn't like you?" Lorelai asked as she looked adoringly at her only daughter.

"I think that she thinks I like Jess," Rory answered. " Or that he likes me."

"Well if it bothers you, you should try and talk to her tonight," Lorelai suggested. Sure, it was easier dishing out advice than taking her own. " When you're both at the Winter Carnival kissing booth."

Rory shot her mom a warning look. " How hard are you trying to keep a straight face right now?"

Lorelai tried to keep her lips pressed together as she shook her head from side to side. Soon the giggles began to erupt from her throat. " Not very successfully," she managed to say before bursting into laughter.

"In my defense, Taylor left that part out when he asked me to volunteer."

"And this surprises you?" Lorelai asked. " Taylor is the king of mincing words until you don't know what you've agreed to. It could be fun."

"Yeah, try explaining that to Dean," Rory said.

"Oh come on, didn't he ever learn to share? Besides it'll most likely be losers and old men," Lorelai said with a wicked smile.

"Shush you," Rory pouted.

"Who else did Taylor rope into doing the kissing booth?" Lorelai asked.

"Kate and Dawn," Rory answered. " There, this is the outfit." Rory pulled out a pair of light gray and white pin stripe pants; a pink collared shirt and a light pink and gray large checkered fitted, sleeveless sweater.

"You know what would look good with that?" Lorelai suggested with an approving voice. " My pink bracelet with the dangly bits."

Rory frowned. " You mean MY bracelet?"

"Oh. Right. Can I borrow it?" Lorelai asked in a girly voice as she clasped her hands together.

"I don't know where it is." Rory said as she set the outfit on the armchair.

"It's by the plant pot on the kitchen counter," Lorelai admitted sheepishly.

"What's it doing on the kitchen counter?" Rory asked.

"Having an affair with the toaster," Lorelai clapped her hands over her mouth. "Oops, I wasn't supposed to tell."

"That's crazy."

"I know," Lorelai agreed. " Why do we have a plant pot?"

"A little bit of seriousness please," Rory replied.

" I mean we all know plant life ceases to be in the Gilmore house," Lorelai continued with a pause.

"There's that seriousness I was craving," Rory said as she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously," Lorelai stressed the word. " Is there an un-killable plant?"

"Yes…Plastic?" Rory offered with a grin.

"Ha…Ha," Lorelai drawled. " Nothing survives. We should have a plant. Normal people have plants."

"Operative word being normal," Rory said as she began to search for shoes. " It doesn't help that you put them in the darkest places in the house."

"Well, that's because it fills the empty spaces. Like nooks. Nooks sometimes need a little something," Lorelai offered. " Is light so important?"

"It is the 'photo' part in photosynthesis," Rory explained.

"Huh…interesting. So what were we talking about?" Lorelai asked.

"No clue," Rory answered.

"That happens to us a lot," Lorelai said thoughtfully.

"Segways find us easily," Rory agreed as she laid out a pair of black boots to go with her mother's outfit.

"Life is a segway," Lorelai sang, a smile starting to form. " And I wanna…"

"Stop," Rory insisted.

"Drive it all night long," Lorelai finished with a childish giggle.

"You're too much," Rory said with a laugh.

"Never!" Lorelai insisted. " Just the right amount of crazy."

"Says the crazy person," Rory said.

"So where is this kissing booth. I'm bringing my camera. Every mother wants a picture of her daughter kissing strangers. I can put it on the mantel next to the clay hand print you made when you were five."

"You're just mean!" Rory said. " There's your outfit." With a pout she turned on her heel and headed downstairs to get ready.

Lorelai jumped off the bed and ran to the doorway. " Don't forget to brush!"

"Stop!" Rory yelled as she fled down the stairs.

Lorelai stuck her head out into the hallway. " Hey Rory?"

"Yeah?" Came the reply, after a hesitant pause.

"So what did we say the deal is with the bracelet?"

"It doesn't go!" Rory called up.

"But…" Lorelai protested.

"Trust me. No." Rory replied and then Lorelai heard the sound of Rory's door closing.

Lorelai pouted. " But it's pretty," she muttered. Turning, in her fashion defeat, she headed towards the outfit Rory had laid out for her.

Lorelai eyed the outfit critically. " Not bad," she muttered, as she headed for the bathroom with her make up bag in hand.

* * *

Buffy wasn't worried about what to wear. She'd already thrown on a pair of black dress pants and a red turtleneck sweater. Her mind couldn't be further away from fashion than it was now. Instead her thoughts were ones of amusement at her, rapidly anxious, sister.

Dawn was pacing the length of the living room clasping and unclasping her hands. Finally she came to a stop in front of Buffy. " Maybe I can say that I'm sick?"

"You already agreed Dawnie," Buffy said. " It's for charity. Don't worry about it, besides Spike was only joking about the old toothless men." At this last comment she shot another disapproving look at a bemused Spike.

Spike smiled and shrugged his shoulders. " Have you seen some of the townspeople slayer?"

"Dawn, stop worrying," Buffy said again, trying to reach out for her sister, mid-pace.

"Bring us your homeless, your desperate, your semi intoxicated masses," Spike began, his voice loud and full of authority.

"Spike!" Dawn cried as she lunged at him. She got two slaps to his chest before Spike's arm encircled her waist and he pulled her down across his lap. Dawn cried out in surprise as she fell in a tangle of limbs. Spike began to tickle her ribs until she shrieked in protest.

Spike loved his nibblet and she loved him back. It was probably the most innocent and purest love he would ever have with another human being.

"You're probably too old for this now," Spike said with a hint of remorse. " You're all womanly now."

This brought a smile to Dawn's face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head against the crook of his neck. His skin felt cool against her face as she breathed in the comforting smell of him.

Buffy looked at the pair of them, feeling a pull of loneliness and longing. Together they looked like they were in their own world. Buffy pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Spike could always sense Buffy's feeling; chalk it up to stalking her for months on end.

Buffy excused herself to get a drink and as she passed by the two of them huddled together on the couch, Spike reached out and grabbed onto her wrist. With a quick tug, he pulled her off her feet and onto his other knee. Buffy cried out in surprise as she found herself back in his arms in a matter of seconds.

Buffy righted herself, her palm pressed firmly against his chest. Her eyes met his in a mix of surprise and embarrassment as old feelings began to stir. Her left breast was pinned firmly against his chest and the curve of her hip was pressed against him in a way (even after all this time) that felt intimate.

A look passed between them that Dawn couldn't help but notice. " Too soon?" Spike muttered, as his breath tickled across her lips.

"Things sure are complicated here on Walton's Mountain," Xander sighed as he leant against the doorway.

Buffy pushed herself up and off Spike's lap, crossing her arms defensively under her chest.

"Well don't you look spiffy," Dawn told Xander, with a look of disbelief on her face.

Xander was decked out in a long purple robe adorned with gold stars and a matching pointy hat. It was an outfit that looked oddly familiar in these new surroundings.

"Isn't that?" Buffy began before she had to cover her mouth to keep the giggles at bay.

Xander looked down at himself. " Yeah it's Giles. But I think I carry it off better." He picked up the robe and swirled it around his feet, a gesture which made Dawn and Buffy laugh.

"You look like a right ponce," Spike informed him.

"Why did you even keep that?" Buffy asked. The outfit brought back memories of Giles wearing it the first day that the magic shop opened. How she'd walked in and just stared at him, unable to make any sort of reaction.

"I don't know," Xander answered. " Memories? Plus it did come in handy for tonight."

"Ah, you're helping Willow at the psychic booth tonight." Buffy remembered. " Has Willow seen you?"

"No, why?" Xander asked.

"Oh good, cause I want to be here when she does," Buffy laughed.

Just then Willow entered the room. She stopped when she saw Xander and stood motionless as she stared at him. Except for her mouth parting in surprise she just stared at him with a blank stare.

Xander held his arms out at his side. " What do you think swami?" Xander asked.

Willow covered her forehead with her head and closed her eyes as if she were channeling the future. " I predict that there's no way I'm allowing you wear that."

"Come on Will, he'll definitely attract attention. And I think he looks cute," Dawn said, giving Xander a wink.

"Thanks," Xander said with a wide grin.

"Okay, enough of this," Buffy said. " I gotta go and meet Lorelai. I'll see you guys tonight. You coming Dawn?"

Dawn nodded as she untangled herself from Spike and grabbed her coat. "We'll meet you there later," Willow said as she pulled the wizard clad Xander up the stairs with her.

* * *

Buffy pulled up beside Lorelai's jeep and left the car running as she got out of the car. " Hey Buffy!" Lorelai said cheerfully, even though she struggled down the steps with a huge box in her arms.

"Here let me," Buffy said, already taking the box from Lorelai.

"Don't worry, it's really heavy and…." Lorelai protested, but Buffy had already grabbed the box and was walking away as if it were a box of feathers. " Or not…" Lorelai said in disbelief.

"Way to go Wonder women," Dawn muttered from the passenger seat, as Buffy passed by. Buffy immediately started to pretend that the box was heavier, pretending to struggle a little with it.

"Wow, I didn't notice how heavy it was," she grunted, realizing how lame she sounded.

Dawn rolled her eyes. " Subtle," she mouthed as Buffy shot her a warning look. Buffy helped load the rest of the boxes between the two cars.

"I think that's it," Lorelai said, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. " I guess I'll meet you there."

"Great I'll grab coffees," Buffy said.

"You're my hero," Lorelai grinned as she gave Buffy's shoulder a squeeze.

Buffy grinned and then headed back to her car. Dawn was staring at her, saying nothing.

"What?" Buffy asked.

Dawn just smiled. " Nothing."

* * *

Rory and Dawn were seated together in the Kissing Booth setting up the banners. Both of them were acutely aware that they weren't speaking to each other, which made it awkward with each passing second.

Kate walked towards the two of them, looking just as embarrassed to be there as they were. " So did Taylor rope you guys into this too?"

Dawn and Rory nodded. "Well at least I'm not alone," Kate said, as she organized the seats. " So we do this in three lines then?"

"Yep," Dawn replied. " It's like an staged orgy of kissage."

Rory giggled. Dawn looked at her with surprise and then found herself smiling too. The crowd was starting to build as the three of them worked. The Carnival would be starting in just minutes and then the embarrassment would begin. Dawn had already started to look for old guys that might come up to the booth. Surely no old guys would want to kiss them? Yeah right, came Spike's voice in her head.

"Doesn't a carnival have rides?" Kate asked.

"You would think." Dawn said.

"This carnival has been going on for as long as I remember," Rory said. " It used to have rides until Kirk got trapped in the tilt-a-whirl. We haven't had them since."

"How does someone get stuck in a tilt-a-whirl?" Dawn asked.

"You really don't want to know," Rory said.

Dawn looked confused. " See, if you'd met Kirk you would totally get that," Kate said with a grin.

They set up their chairs and watched the lines form in front of them. "Wow, does anyone feel like they've stumbled into the red light district?" Dawn asked.

"I feel slightly whoreish." Kate agreed.

"At least it's charity," Rory said.

"Right," Kate said as she eyed the crowd. " So we kiss guys for money. Only we don't keep the money. Great idea."

Dawn and Rory laughed as they stared at the faces in front of them. Kirk came running up the stairs towards them.

"He can't kiss me, he knows me," Rory said with relief.

"Ah crap," Kate and Dawn both said.

"Hey Kirk," Rory said.

"Hello Rory. I will be MCing this booth tonight."

"Mc?" Rory said.

"Yes. Three women such as yourselves will need a male influence in case the men start to get a little crazy."

"Great. Kirk the pimp," Kate muttered.

"Ladies and Gentleman of Stars Hollow. My name is Kirk and I am the orchestrator of this fine event," Kirk began as he faced the crowd. " Behind me sit some of the finest women in Stars Hollow. You will need to buy tickets from the front booth and present your tickets here. You can choose any lady you like. There are a few rules, however."

"This is so embarrassing," Dawn, muttered as Rory and Kate nodded their heads in agreement.

"One," Kirk said loudly as he held up one finger. " There will be no other touching then lip to lip. Two; there will be no open mouthed kisses. Three; The kiss will have a minimum time limit of five seconds, counted mississipp-ily, of course."

The three girls looked at each other one this one. Rory mouthed " Mississipp-ily?" as the other two looked just as confused.

Kirk smiled back at the ladies. " If any of these rules are broken I will escort you out of the square. Thank you and have fun."

The first people started to arrive. Dawn and Kate got most of the kisses, as a lot of guys didn't want to kiss Rory, a girl that they had grown up with.

At one of their breaks, Dawn re-applied some lip-gloss the Kirk insisted they wear, and scanned the group of people in front of her. Most of the people there were guys from her high school, which in retrospect, probably wasn't much better than old men. Now she'd be Dawn Summers, the girl who kissed the entire male population in Stars Hollow High.

As she scanned the group, a dark haired guy caught her attention. She felt her heart jump into her throat as she recognized Jess. And he was standing in line! Then, with regret, she realized that he was probably here for Rory.

"Great. Now I have to witness the fact that he likes her," Dawn muttered to Kate, who sat in the middle.

Rory overheard and frowned as she searched the crowd. She spotted Jess and realized that Dawn had been talking about her.

Luke made his way across the snow-covered square, his hands jammed into his pockets for warmth. Why he came to these things, he'd never know. He promised Lorelai to help fix the booth for them and was about to leave when he spotted his nephew in line at the kissing booth.

"Well look who's decided to show some town spirit," Luke said.

Jess scowled. " Go away."

"What are you doing?" Luke asked.

"What does it look like?" Jess asked as he moved up in the line.

"Are you here for Rory, Jess? Are you causing more trouble?" Luke accused.

"I'm not here for Rory," Jess said. " I don't have a thing for Rory…anymore. Would you people just get off my back?"

"Then what are you doing here?" Luke asked.

Jess looked away angrily. Luke nudged his shoulder. " Come on, tell me."

"Dawn," Jess said under his breath.

"Who?"

"Dawn," Jess said, louder this time.

"She's pretty," Luke agreed. " When did this happen?"

"Nothing's happened," Jess said. " Not yet." Luke was looking at him in a way that meant he wanted more. Jess sighed loudly. " She's mad at me. She thinks I have a thing for Rory."

"Do you?"

"NO!" Jess said in a loud whisper. " I just told you no."

"Just checking," Luke said with a shrug.

Jess moved up more. " You think she'll want to kiss you?" Luke asked.

"Guess we'll find out."

"Could be embarrassing if she doesn't," Luke said, with a slight smile as he egged on his nephew.

"Could be?" Jess said under his breath, frustration showing in his voice. Then a smile came to his face. " Could be embarrassing for you too?"

"Why's that?" Luke asked.

"Cause you just got in line. Have fun Uncle Luke," Jess said sarcastically, as he slapped Luke's back and headed up the stairs.

Luke looked up and found Kate smiling back at him, and Kirk reaching out for a ticket.

"Not me," Luke said. " I was just standing with Jess. My nephew Jess. I …I'm not in line."

"Come now Luke," Kirk said, in his MC voice. "Don't insult the young lady."

Luke looked at Kate. " No I wasn't insulting you."

Kate smiled. " It is for charity. I promise I used anti-bacterial Chap Stick on my lips," she joked.

"But I…"

"Come on Luke. Don't be a wuss," Kirk said.

"I'm not a wuss," Luke muttered under his breath.

"Come on dude, let's move it on. You don't have to get to know her first, you're paying her." Came a voice from a teenager behind him.

Luke turned around. " Calm down," he said angrily.

"You're starting to cause a commotion," Kate said with a grin.

Luke dug in his pockets and handed Kirk money with a sigh as he began to climb the stairs looking as embarrassed an out of place as humanly possible. Luke pulled the chair back and sat to face Kate, looking down at his hands.

"Alright, how do we do this?" he asked nervously.

"You have kissed a girl before right?" Kate teased.

Luke laughed nervously. " Yeah, of course."

They both sifted nervously, first one leaning forward and then the other. With mumbles of "ok" "right" and "here we go".

Kate went for it first, feeling more awkward as time went by. She cupped Luke's cheek as she pressed her lips against his. His lips were cold from the chill in the air, and it sent a chill down her spine. It felt awkward at first as they were at an awkward angle, and each was afraid to break the initial position. Then Kate turned her head slightly to the side and reformed her lips over his, catching his lower lip between hers. The, near open-mouthed kiss, sent a shock through each of them. Kate drew in a breath, as Luke's lips seemed to meld against hers. She felt his hand cup her cheek, his thumb brushing against her jaw. Then Luke's lips parted slightly and the tip of his tongue traced her lower lip before slipping inside and flicking across the inside of her lip.

Suddenly a loud noise broke through and each of them sprang apart, Luke nearly falling right out of his chair. Both looked towards the interruption and found Kirk standing there with a bullhorn in the air. "I saw open mouthed. Sorry Luke, but I may have to use bodily force to move you out of here."

"Touch me and you'll be walking funny tomorrow Kirk," Luke mumbled. He looked back at a red faced Kate before walking down the stairs to a chorus of "way to go dude" from the crowds of teenage boys.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dawn had watched in surprise as Jess handed off his ticket to Kirk and walked right past Rory towards her. Jess sat in the seat across from her, a cocky smile on his face.

"What do you think that proves?" Dawn asked. " Is this a fun game for you?"

"Just donating to charity," Jess said.

"Cause you woke up this morning and wondered what good deed you could do today?" Dawn asked sarcastically.

"Something like that," Jess shot back.

"Uh, if you two wouldn't mind getting on with it?" Kirk asked. " We have people waiting."

"Of course you're good deed is against my will," Dawn spat back.

"You volunteered to be here," Jess pointed out. "Besides, you want it a little bit."

"You are such an arrogant ass," Dawn said.

"Dawn, please," Kirk said. " You don't want people to revolt at a kissing booth."

"Come on Dawn, customers are waiting," Jess, chided.

"You are a jerk you know that?" Dawn said between clenched teeth. " A mean, sadistic and cruel…"

Jess rolled his eyes as she went on her tirade. He reached out with one hand and grabbed the back of her head holding her tight. Before Dawn could protest, his lips came down on hers roughly. Dawn felt her heart jump into her throat as a tension began to immediately build in the bottom of her stomach. Unfortunately she hadn't been kissed much in her life and even those few times didn't compare to this. The kisses before had been awkward and unsure and very sloppy. This one felt like it literally took her breath away. Her mind was racing a mile a minute and the sensations going through her body as his mouth claimed hers in a way she'd only seen in cheesy movies.

The bullhorn off the side startled them and Jess broke the kiss, all teasing gone from his features. In fact, the way he was looking at her was making the butterflies dance in her stomach. Dawn couldn't help but just stare back.

"Go out with me," he said.

"Is that a question or…?'

"Go out with me," he repeated, not about to make her joke her way out of this.

"There's a Christmas Party at the Inn in a couple of days," she whispered, her lips still tingling.

"I'll see you then," he said firmly.

And, just like that, he was gone.

* * *

"Well I guess you didn't foresee me coming?" Ashley said.

Willow looked up in surprise. " Ash! Hi!"

Ashley took a seat beside Willow, reaching under the table to squeeze Willow's thigh. "Why Ms. Ashley, there are children around here," Willow said in a mock southern accent.

"So there are," Ashley said.

"What are you doing here? Not that I am unhappy to see you," Willow asked.

"You know, just checking out the town. Getting acquainted, trying to become involved and blah blah blah," Ashley laughed.

Ashley moved her hand up Willow's thigh, digging her hands into her thigh. " I missed you today," Ashley said quietly.

Willow swallowed hard. "I missed you too."

"You almost done here?" Ashley asked.

"Depends on what you're talking about," Willow teased.

"Well that depends. You didn't before, but do you foresee me coming now?" Ashley said suggestively.

* * *

"I'm sorry about earlier," Luke said.

Kate looked up from the display she was currently dismantling. " Why?"

"Well…for…you know," Luke stammered nervously.

"It was for charity Luke, kissing was the name of the game." Kate said.

"Yeah, but we got the bullhorn," Luke said.

"Yeah, that was unpleasant."

"The kiss?"

"The bullhorn," Kate assured him.

"Right! Right…" Luke trailed off.

"Luke?" Kate said, trying to read his expression. He made a weird sound almost like a sigh.

"I don't know you well enough to know your noises yet," Kate laughed. " What did that mean?"

"Would you like to?"

"Get to know your noises?" Kate asked.

"Get to know me more," Luke, answered.

"Sure," Kate said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"What do you think about dinner?" Luke asked.

"I think it's a fine way to cap off breakfast and lunch," Kate laughed.

"You're making fun of me aren't you?" Luke smiled.

"I would love to have dinner with you Luke," Kate said, as she squeezed his hand.

Luke smiled. " Ok, great. Tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Ok good. See you tomorrow then," Luke said. They stood there a moment more and then Luke nodded and walked away.

* * *

Dawn packed up the rest of the chairs and rubbed her hands together to warm them. Rory walked up behind her looking nervous. " Hey Dawn?"

"Yeah?" Dawn said.

"Ummm…it's cold huh?" Rory said, feeling completely lame now.

"Yes it is," Dawn said.

"Yeah." Rory looked down at her hands. Dawn stared at her a moment and then, sure Rory was done, went back to packing. "Hey Dawn?"

"Yeeeees," Dawn said slowly.

"Do you want to go to Luke's for coffee or something?"

"Why?" Dawn didn't mean to make it sound so abrupt.

"Well I know that don't like me much but I thought if we were going to be working together at the Inn for the next couple of weeks that we should get to know each other."

"I like you," Dawn said. "I….guess I haven't acted like it."

"Well I know you like Jess. But I am with Dean. Happily with Dean. And Jess and I don't like each other like that. I'm pretty sure he likes you after tonight."

Dawn smiled as she remembered the kiss. " Yeah. I'm sorry you thought I didn't like you. I was jealous I guess."

"Well, do you think we might be friends?" Rory asked. She suddenly felt like she was in kindergarten again.

"Sure," Dawn said.

"Great."

They stood for a minute. " Coffee?" Dawn asked.

"Oh. Right," Rory laughed. "Sounds good."

* * *

"Things seem to be going pretty good here," Buffy said as she handed Lorelai a cup of coffee. It had to be the millionth cup they had both consumed in the short amount of time they had been here.

Lorelai accepted it gratefully. " It really is," she said happily. They were auctioning off a stay at the Inn and had risen quite a bit of money thus far. " We can pack up now I think."

"Oh thank god. I am having fun and all but it is freezing out here." Buffy said.

"It does feel like Jack Frost is nipping at the nose," Lorelai laughed.

"More like slapping at the face," Buffy said between chattering teeth. Lorelai laughed.

"You are totally a California girl aren't you?" Lorelai asked.

"Completely," Buffy agreed.

"All tanned pretty people," Lorelai added. With a little mental image of a tanned Buffy.

"There's pretty people all over," Buffy laughed.

Lorelai started to feel the tension again. " So did Dawn sign up for the kissing booth too?"

"Yeah," Buffy laughed. " Taylor roped her into it with promises of donating and representing the town."

"That's Taylor," Lorelai laughed. " I always found kissing booths extremely weird."

"Me too. Sounds like a good idea at first but could you imagine the men that would line up?" Buffy asked.

"Makes a mother proud that her daughter so willingly shares herself," Lorelai smiled.

"Well, technically it's not willing," Buffy, pointed out.

"Well that will make me sleep better at night." Lorelai said.

I know what would make me sleep better at night, Buffy thought.

"What?" Lorelai asked.

"Did I just say that out loud?" Buffy wondered, horrified

"No. It was the expression on your face," Lorelai said with a laugh. " What were you thinking?"

'Nothing," Buffy said quickly.

Lorelai nudged her shoulder. " No way, you were totally thinking something."

"I, totally was NOT," Buffy laughed.

"How school kids are we?" Lorelai laughed.

"Next thing you know we'll be sneaking behind the gazebo for a smoke," Buffy said.

"Ah, but I never smoked in high school," Lorelai said.

"Neither did I come to think of it," Buffy said. " Hmmm..Maybe I wasted my whole high school experience.

"I did get pregnant in high school though," Lorelai said.

"Well then, there you go, you lived the typical high school experience," Buffy said with a laugh.

"Made gym class a bitch." Lorelai mused out loud.

Buffy laughed. " Great excuse for skipping though."

"Yeah, especially in swimming when I became the floatation device everyone was using." Lorelai laughed.

Buffy snorted, and then covered her mouth in horror. " Oops."

"Don't apologize, let it out. Keeping in a snort could break ribs," Lorelai laughed. Then paused. " Or is that sneezing?"

"I think that's sneezing," Buffy laughed.

"Well you learn something everyday," Lorelai said, shrugging her shoulders.

Buffy took a seat next to Lorelai. "I should have worn gloves," Buffy muttered as she rubbed her hands together. " Still not used to winter."

Lorelai reached out and felt Buffy's hands. " Wow, those are like ice cubes. Here I have a second set."

Lorelai went to take her hand from Buffy, but Buffy held onto it firmly. Lorelai looked at her in surprise. And then she looked down at Buffy's hand, wrapped firmly around her own.

"We should really talk," Buffy said in a rush of words. She hadn't planned to talk about anything. Hell, the last thing she wanted to do was talk about this but just being with Lorelai made her feel like venting.

"Alright," Lorelai said slowly.

"This is awkward," Buffy said.

Lorelai nodded as she looked over Buffy's shoulder. " And inappropriate," Lorelai added.

Buffy frowned, feeling really stupid now. " What?"

Lorelai reached out and put her hands on Buffy's shoulders so that she could turn her around. " Miss Patty and Babbette are coming over here and if I think I know what you're going to talk about, you don't want to do it with them there."

Buffy nodded, feeling more frustrated now. " You're right."

Lorelai waved at Miss Patty, then she whispered to Buffy. " We'll talk tomorrow night."

Buffy nodded and then began to straighten the displays as Lorelai talked to her friends. Tomorrow night. Finally, there would be closure.

* * *


	18. Send Me Somebody to Love

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 17: Send Me Somebody To Love**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Gilmore Girls, nor any of the characters. I make no money for these stories. Also the lyrics used in this song are not mine but that of the legendary Freddie Mercury. (If you don't know who that is, then I suddenly feel old at 23)

* * *

As Buffy struggled to get her arms to bend at unnatural angles, she silently cursed the builder of this dressing room. Why the hell was it so small? There wasn't enough room to move around let alone get a good look at yourself. Even if you moved until your back was pressed against the wall, you still couldn't really get a good look at yourself.

And considering she hadn't bought a nice dress in years, she was trying to enjoy this event as much as possible. Her arm was seconds away from popping from the socket as she tried to wrench the zipper up.

Buffy could hear the giggles coming from the dressing rooms to the side of her, which belonged to Dawn and Rory. Lorelai was somewhere around here as well, but stayed silent. The last Buffy remembered Dawn and Rory didn't seem to care for each other. Now they were suddenly bosom buddies. Maybe working at the Inn together had solved their issues. Buffy, however, had an issue with Dawn at the moment.

This morning over breakfast, Dawn had begged Buffy to take her shopping for the Christmas party. Dawn had gone on and on about sister bonding and how they hadn't spent a lot of time together since moving here, until Buffy caved under the guilt.

All afternoon Buffy had looked forward to some nice sister bonding time. And then Dawn had dropped the bomb. After working with Rory, Dawn had impulsively invited Rory and Lorelai to go with them. No amount of frantic arm waving behind their heads would stop Dawn from talking. So here they were, all four of them.

Buffy knew that Lorelai and her were going to have a talk, but that was tonight. Buffy wanted some Lorelai-free time to sort out what she wanted to say.

They'd already shown off some of their options to each other, and Buffy had to admit to herself that she was having fun. Buffy looked at her reflection in the mirror, and even though it wasn't the best view, she fell in love with the dress. It was one of those moments, where you just stare at yourself and feel that excited heart leap into the throat that screamed 'this is the one!'

Buffy changed back into her jeans and tee and put her dress back on the hook. She unlocked the door and found Lorelai standing the common area. Lorelai didn't see her, however. Buffy stopped short, watching as Lorelai looked critically at her outfit.

Lorelai was wearing a midnight blue, floor length dress. It was low cut in the front and sleeveless. The most impressive was the back, which dipped low and to the side, showing off a lot of tanned flesh.

"Wow," Buffy said out loud.

Lorelai jumped, startled, spinning around to face Buffy. " You scared me."

"Sorry," Buffy apologized. " But that looks fantastic on you."

"Really? I was just trying it on for fun." Lorelai asked. " It's not too much?"

" As in too much fabric, cause a big no there," Buffy smiled.

"Exactly," Lorelai said. " It seems a little much for a Christmas party."

Buffy stepped forward and ran her fingers over the fabric. " What is this, silk?"

"I don't know, but whatever it is I want to have it's baby." Lorelai laughed.

Rory and Dawn emerged from the dressing room then, holding their chosen dresses. "Wow, mom." Rory said.

"Really?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, you look hot," Dawn, said.

A male customer walked by and did a complete double take. Rory noticed and made a face at the guy, which sent him walking off quickly. " See, admirers already." Rory said.

"He wasn't looking at me," Lorelai said, waving her hand in dismissal.

"Mom, he was looking at you like you were a porter house steak!" Rory said.

Lorelai looked to Buffy. " Is that a good thing?"

"If you like steak, I guess," Buffy said, with a shrug.

"Well, maybe I will look around a little more," Lorelai, said, as she headed back to the dressing rooms.

"Hey Lorelai, we still have to pick up those orders from The Outlet," Buffy said, as she glanced at her watch.

"I totally forgot," came Lorelai's panicked voice from behind the dressing room door.

"Don't worry. I will go do that. You find a dress. Dawn and Rory can go get the rest of their things," Buffy said, looking at the two of them. " Then why don't we meet by the fountain downstairs and grab some lunch?"

"Sounds perfect," Lorelai responded.

Dawn and Rory nodded, as the three of them went to buy their dresses. Afterwards they went their separate ways.

The four of them met for lunch in the food court and bought an entire table full of food. Lorelai and Rory explained to the horrified Buffy and Dawn that it was variety that counted. And a Gilmore experience that everyone had to go through at least once.

Buffy took a corndog. " Wow, I haven't had one of these for years."

"Ah, the American treat, the corndog," Dawn laughed.

"You know, there really aren't enough meat on sticks," Buffy said, thoughtfully.

"True," Lorelai agreed. " There should be more meats on sticks."

"Like…." Dawn said. Then she paused. " What other meat could you put on sticks?"

The four of them sat there in deep thought. " New subject?" Buffy suggested.

"Excellent idea," Lorelai said. " So dresses are done, hair accessories done, jewelry done. Wow, four women got all that done in the record time of a couple of hours."

Buffy held up her corndog in triumph. " Yeah us!"

"Thanks for inviting us," Lorelai said. " I promised Rory we would go, but with all the planning for the party I probably never would have gotten around to it."

"The more the merrier!" Dawn said.

"Why are you so cheerful?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"Can't a person just be happy?" Dawn said, practically giggling.

"A person can, yes. You, not this much. This looks strange on you," Buffy said, studying her sister's face. " It's kinda freaking me out."

"Hey!" Dawn protested, frowning.

"That's more like it," Buffy grinned.

"Jess asked her to the party," Rory said.

Buffy's eyes widened. " Who's Jess? Jess who? Why do I not know of this Jess."

"You will," Lorelai said, as she rolled her eyes.

Buffy was alarmed. " What's wrong with this Jess?"

"Nothing!" Dawn said. "Nothing is wrong with him. And he's Jess, not 'this Jess'"

"Wait a minute," Buffy started, pointing the corndog at her accusingly. " Is this the guy that you cast the….your sight on? Earlier." Buffy inwardly cursed herself. She would have to remember to be more careful around the civilians.

Dawn's eyes widened as Buffy almost spilled everything and tried to move on quickly. " I was interested in him before, yes. But it was all a misunderstanding. Besides, it's just a date. I'm just going on a date."

"Just remember," Buffy said seriously. "No sex below the neck." She smiled then.

Dawn rolled her eyes. " Buffy."

"Dawn." Buffy mimicked.

"So, dresses. Fun huh?" Lorelai said, changing the subject.

"The last time I remember getting the dress, hair and jewelry thing was my homecoming dance and prom…. I think that's it." Buffy said, trying to think back. Geez, twice? How was the possible? Ah yes, she thought, all the vampire slaying.

"And the prom is the only dress that stayed intact," Dawn said. " She turned up on homecoming covered in forest." She was referring to the Cordy and Buffy slayerfest thing.

Buffy slapped her shoulder playfully. " Shush you."

Lorelai raised a questioning eyebrow. " Forest huh? Too good for the backseat of a car?"

"Which is how I was conceived, I believe," Rory said, with a grin.

Lorelai slapped her shoulder playfully. " Shush you."

The girls finished up their lunch, and left feeling a little too full and pretty sure that the dresses they'd bought would no longer fit.

As they headed to the parking lot, it began to rain. With a yell of surprise they ran the rest of the way to the car.

"Hey Buffy, could you drop Rory and I at the diner?" Dawn asked from the backseat.

"Diner? You just ate," Buffy said.

"I don't think they're going for food," Lorelai whispered with a smile.

"Oh," Buffy said. " Does this Jess work there?"

"Subtle Buffy," Dawn muttered. " And no. We just want to get some coffee."

"Alright," Buffy said, as she turned onto the highway to Stars Hollow.

"I can take them after you drop me off at the Inn. I have my jeep there," Lorelai said.

"Not a problem. The diner is on the way," Buffy said. And we need to have our talk before I blow my brains out, Buffy thought.

Lorelai seemed to understand the look and didn't say anything more about it, as she switched on the radio. Rory and Dawn sat in the backseat talking and giggling, totally unaware of the two, very silent, adults in the front seats.

* * *

Kate set the plate on the counter in front of Luke, which a loud clang. " What's wrong with it now?"

"He says he wants the crust cut off," Kate replied, as she gestured over her shoulder towards the difficult customer in question.

"Kirk! You can eat the crusts!" Luke replied.

"I don't think I digest the roast beef sandwich well with the crusts on," Kirk replied.

" How do you know it's the crusts and not the roast beef?" Luke said.

"Oh, don't ask that," Kate muttered as she rubbed her throbbing temple.

"Mother makes me roast beef all the time, and it never makes me sick," Kirk began. " You see Luke… "

"Crust less sandwich coming up!!" Luke said, as he grabbed the plate.

Kate slid onto the nearest stool, taking the pressure off her throbbing feet. Luke slid a drink in front of her, which she accepted gratefully.

"How you holding up?" Luke asked.

"If waitressing were an Olympic sport, I think I could go for the gold," Kate replied.

"I'm so sorry about this," Luke said.

"I figure working double shifts build character," Kate replied with a smile. " Besides it's not your fault that Caesar is out sick and Kyle broke his arm. The dinner rush is almost over, we made it!"

"Yeah, but we lost our reservation about a half hour ago," Luke said, as he glanced at his watch.

Kate shrugged. " There will be other dinners," she assured him, " besides my idea of fun right now is a hot bubble bath."

"Is there a dress code for that?" Luke asked.

Kate smiled. " Funny man, Luke Danes. I meant alone, but thanks for the invite."

If Luke blushed, it would be now. " I didn't mean it like that…I …"

"Don't worry about it, I got it." Kate said, with a wink.

"Luke!" Came Kirk's voice.

Luke muttered something under his breath, as he took the knife to Kirk's sandwich. " Just a minute," he told Kate as he took the plate back to Kirk.

An hour later the place was blissfully empty. Every inch of Kate's body felt like it was about to rebel against her. Luke had taken the dining room as Kate organized the food in the back room.

She looked around the messy room and leaned back against the door for support. She really didn't want to be doing this now. Then a thought occurred. She made sure the door was locked behind her and then turned to face the messy room.

Lifting her hand she made a flicking gesture with her hand. A wave of energy flowed through the room as boxes lifted into the air and returned to their spots on the shelf. With another flick the broom danced across the room, sweeping the up the dirt and paper.

Kate giggled at herself, as she twirled past the broom, and turned on the small radio. An old Queen song came on, and it filled the air. Kate smiled as she began to sing along, twisting her arms in the air above her head as she danced in front of the sweeping broom, pretending that it was someone tall, dark and handsome.

The night with Spike had proved that she had powers. When she'd been a gypsy, she could use magic in the form of spells but never active powers. Yet, another mystery. She'd practiced with small things since, and the power had grown over time.

'Got no feel, I got no rhythm  
I just keep losing my beat  
I'm ok, I'm alright  
Ain't gonna face no defeat

I just got ta get out of this prison cell  
One day I'm gonna be free, lord  
Find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love'

" Ain't gonna face no defeat. I just to get out of this prison cell, one day I'm gonna be free." She sang loudly. It was true. Magic made her feel freer. It was something that was all hers. One day she would break free of this mystery and just be.

Kate felt the rush of adrenaline and power run through her as she shut her eyes and danced through the small room. A loud knocking on the door brought her to an abrupt stop, and the broom fell to the floor with a clutter.

"Kate!? Are you ok?"

Kate wiped her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand, her breathing heavier now. "Yeah, fine."

She fixed the boxes and then unlocked the door. Luke stared at her suspiciously. "What were you doing?"

"Cleaning."

"Why was the door locked?"

"Oh, did I lock the door?" she asked innocently. " Sorry. Didn't realize."

Luke just stared silently. "We finished?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, come on," Luke said.

Kate headed into the dining area and stopped short in the doorway. The diner was dark, except for a small glow of candles on a small table in the center. "What?" she breathed quietly.

"We missed our reservations, so I brought dinner here," Luke explained.

He had set a table with candles and flowers. Kate smiled. " You didn't have to do this."

"I didn't want to miss our dinner," Luke said. " Come on."

He held out a chair for her. Kate looked down at herself. She was still wearing her dirty clothes and grease stained apron. " Can't say much for my evening wear," she laughed, as she took a seat.

"I think you look great," Luke assured her.

Kate wiped a piece of hair off her face with the back of her hand, " Liar."

Luke brought out two plates of cheeseburgers and fries and set one in front of her. " This is really sweet Luke," Kate said.

"It's just cheeseburgers," he said. " No one bring you cheeseburgers before."

"Not that I remember," she said, smiling at her own personal joke.

"Well it's the least I can do after helping me today," Luke said. He took a drink of his beer, and then stared at it, as if he were contemplating something.

"What's up?" Kate asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking of asking you if you wanted to go to the Christmas party at the Independence Inn."

"And what conclusion did you come to?" Kate asked, with a wry smile on her face.

Luke smiled. Setting his beer down he turned to her. " Did you want to go with me to the Christmas party at the Independence Inn?"

"Yeah, I'd like to," Kate said. " I mean it's the least I can do for you after making me the best cheeseburger I've ever had."

Luke's eyes drifted down to her full mouth. "What are you thinking about now?" Kate asked.

Luke eye's met her and then he reached one hand, cupping the back of her head to pull her towards him. Kate smiled just before his lips met hers. A loud noise and the breaking of glass broke them apart.

"Jesus!" Luke swore, as he jumped out of his chair. Kate looked down at the floor and saw a large rock, which had just broken the window, lying there.

"Damn kids," Luke said, as he grabbed a broom. " Are you ok?"

Kate ran a trembling hand through her hair, as she slowly got to her feet. "Yeah." She walked over to the broken window, careful to avoid the shards of glass.

"Do you see anyone out there?" Luke asked, his back to the window.

Kate crossed her arms as the chill of the rain blew against her. She looked around the dark square, but there wasn't anyone out there. " No."

"I bet it was the Emerson boys," Luke said.

Kate was about to turn from the window when a gust of wind blew a scent her way. It was a scent that sent a chill down her spine, and a swirling sensation low in her stomach. She felt the familiar pull even as her body seemed to be drawn forward.

"Yes," she said sadly. " The Emerson boys. "

* * *

One of the worst things you can do with another person is sitting in an awkward silence. A silence that seems deafening as time goes by. And when both people were aware of the silence it was even worse.

Buffy was very aware that Lorelai was silently sitting in the passenger seat next to her. Lorelai's arm was pressed against hers on top of the middle console and Buffy was very aware of that as well. As Buffy sat there she went through the hints she normally experienced in these sorts of situations. Hint #1-Noticing the slightest touch from the other person. Hint #2-Inhaling a sweet floral scent and realizing it had an exotic undertone. Wondering where Lorelai had bought it so that Buffy could buy some? Certainly a sign that these feelings were not of the norm.

"What are you thinking about?" Lorelai asked, with a curious grin on her face.

It wasn't until Lorelai asked that Buffy realized that she was smiling. "Oh, nothing," Buffy said, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. " Just thinking about lunch today."

Lorelai grinned in some sort of understanding that Buffy didn't get, but was relieved for. The settled back into their awkward silences. Buffy glanced at Lorelai out of the corner of her eye. Lorelai seemed to be staring wistfully out the window, watching the rain pour down outside. Her hair was pulled high on her head and Buffy noticed that she'd missed some tendrils, which curled down the nape of her neck. ' Yet another hint ' Buffy thought.

Buffy tapped her fingers along the steering wheel in rhythm to the music. Lorelai had picked this radio station that played classic rock. She didn't know half the songs, but she grinned as Lorelai sang along with them.

"Rainy, isn't it?" Buffy said, lamely. She felt the need to say something, but if she'd know that, that was going to come out of her mouth she wished she'd just said nothing.

"Yes. Rainy," Lorelai repeated.

Buffy shook her head. " That was lame, sorry."

"Not lame," Lorelai protested. " Awkward and a little obvious, but not lame." She finished with an understanding smile.

Buffy laughed. " Remember the good ol' days when nothing was awkward between us?"

Lorelai was about to agree and then thought about it. " Honestly, no."

Buffy smiled. " Yeah, I don't know where I was going with that."

Lorelai took a breath and then just spoke as honestly as possible. " Maybe you mean the good ol' days where we had these weird feelings for men and not our friends."

There, she'd said it! Now it was out in the open! Buffy had thought about this moment more and more with each passing day. She had thought she'd feel relieved when it was finally spoken aloud. However, all she felt were knots in her stomach. This meant she had to talk about Buffy-a topic, herself, that she didn't like to discuss.

"Ok, for the record, you not speaking is leading to several brain aneurysms," Lorelai said, with a nervous laugh.

Buffy took her eyes off the road briefly to look at her passenger. Lorelai had turned in her seat so that she was facing Buffy. The confused and frightened expression on her face seemed to match Buffy's own emotions. Buffy tightened and loosened her fingers on the steering wheel several times, trying to keep her whole body from going numb.

"Sorry," Buffy said. " I know what you mean. It's …it's just something I can't really put into words. I am much better at beating the crap out of something than talking about my feelings…you know, figuratively speaking."

"Same here," Lorelai said. " Except for the beating crap out of something part. I don't understand it Buffy, I really don't."

"Neither do I," Buffy agreed. " And still we are skirting around the subject."

"I know," Lorelai agreed.

Buffy could see the lights of the Inn up ahead. Buffy pulled besides Lorelai's jeep and killed the engine. With the sound of the engine gone, only the rapid beats of the rain against metal filled the air.

Buffy sat back in her seat and closed her eyes. Why was it so hard to say the words? It felt like she couldn't physically push the words out.

"Well, I'm just going to say it," Lorelai said, " Clearly you and I have feelings for each other."

"Wow, I'm impressed," Buffy said, with a relieved grin.

"You learn overtime that sometimes it's better to just put it out there," Lorelai said, with a shrug.

" Well if you're going to use logic then," Buffy joked.

"So that's the all right?" Lorelai said. " There are feelings."

"Definite feelings," Buffy agreed. " And we're both straight."

"That we are," Lorelai said, with a nod.

" Quite a predicament," Buffy said.

"As predicaments go," Lorelai said, " this is a big one."

"So what now?" Buffy asked.

"That is the question," Lorelai said. " I mean add up the weird situation with just the general uncertainty of having the feelings for someone and its kind of mind blowing."

"The mind is definitely blown," Buffy said. " And suggestions?"

"Hopefully the awkwardness goes away while we try to sort this out."

"We almost kissed Lorelai," Buffy said, finally able to vocalize that event. " I think that was my first hint that it wasn't just feelings. We were both very much about to move in the physical part."

Lorelai looked down at her hands at Buffy's outburst. "You're right," she said, taking a deep breath, " So then we handle this like you would with other co-workers."

"Right. Ok. " Buffy said, then paused. " Which is what now?"

Lorelai smiled. " I'm your boss. It wouldn't be professional. Besides it's a confusing situation as is with everything going on in our lives… and maybe we should just….I don't know."

"Ignore it and maybe it'll go away?" Buffy said, doubtfully. " Can we really do that?"

Lorelai turned to Buffy, raising her shoulders in a defeated shrug. " I think we have to. Right now anyway. There are a lot of tings going on. We're both out of relationships. We're both confused, we're both stressing about this event."

"I guess you're right," Buffy said, quietly.

"It's best to stop now, before anything starts," Lorelai said, trying to sound convincing.

"It would sound more convincing if you believed that," Buffy said, as she looked out of the window ahead of her.

There was a silence again. Buffy shifted in her seat, then she looked at the packages in the back seat. " You want me to help you bring those in?"

"No, I've got it," Lorelai said. " I just have to finish a few things inside, then I'm going home. You go. And thanks for today."

"Not a problem. Been awhile since I went out with friends," Buffy said, grimacing at the emphasis on 'friends.'

"Well…goodnight," Lorelai said, as she reached for the door handle with her packages in hand.

"Night," Buffy said.

Buffy watched Lorelai exit the car and run up the stairs to get out of the rain. With a sigh, Buffy turned the key in the ignition and listened as it purred back to life.

She threw it into reverse and turned back on the road towards home. Buffy flicked on the radio and the station that Lorelai picked, roared to life. Buffy realized with delight, that she actually knew this song. The sounds of Freddie Mercury of Queen soon filled the air, as she began to sing out loud.

' Each morning I get up I die a little  
Can't barely stand on my feet

Take a look in the mirror and cry  
Lord, what you're doing to me  
I have spent all my years in believing you  
But I just can't get no relief, lord'

As the words flowed out of the mouth, she started to really listen to the words she was singing. And as she did she thought about herself, about Lorelai and about the feelings.

' Somebody, somebody  
Can anybody find me somebody to love  
Everyday I try and I try  
But everybody wants to put me down

They say I going crazy  
They say I got a lot of water in my brain  
Got no common sense  
I got nobody to believe'

A laugh bubbled up inside her at the irony. Soon she was laughing so hard, she ended up pulling the car to the side of the road to listen to the song. She complained about not having a relationship, about the cruel people she had met in her life. She had wondered time and time again what was wrong with her, to have people treat her the way they did. She'd wanted comfort in someone else's arms and she prayed for it all the time. Then she thought the deal with Lorelai was another cruel twist of fate. But maybe she had a shot this time, but the packaging it came in had thrown her off. Why did caring about one person have to define her? Why did having feelings for this women have to pin her with a label for life? Maybe it just was what it was.

The scene before her was right out of a horror film. The long rain soaked road stretched out in front of her, no lights around except for the lights from her car and the soft tapping of ran against the metal. Her turn was ahead…she was at a crossroads literally.

Buffy listened to the soft beating of the windshield wipers that kept in beat with the song.

' Somebody, somebody  
Can anybody find me somebody to love  
Everyday I try and I try  
But everybody wants to put me down

And as she sat there, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, the laughs turned to sobs. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her chest ached with each struggled to compose herself. How had she got so lost? Why did everything have to be so confusing?

Everything inside her seemed to hurt so much and she couldn't understand why. Why? Why? She kept repeating, as the sobs got louder.

With a cry of anger and frustration she hit her steering wheel with an open palm again and again until it seemed to groan in protest. Then she began to hit everything she could, as if trying to break from invisible bonds. The window, steering wheel, and dashboard- everything got a hit. The physical pain in her hands seemed to give her something to hold onto, something other than the mental pain of the situation.

Buffy laid her head against the window, feeling the tiny vibrations of the rain against it. She saw Lorelai's face and felt a wash of desire come over her. She remembered Lorelai's words. " It wasn't right, right now. Stop before anything starts." But when would something like this ever feel right for them? And then it became blindingly clear.

With a jolt of clarity, she pushed her foot down on the accelerator and pulled a very dangerous-yet very Buffy- U-turn.

As the car sputtered and slid over the road, Buffy drove towards the Inn, breaking every driving law there was.

As the lights of the Inn drew closer, Buffy felt like she'd checked her sanity at the door. Lorelai had said it herself-better before things got started.

As she drew closer, Buffy realized with a mixture of fear and relief that Lorelai's jeep was still there. In fact the lights were on and Buffy could see Lorelai inside her jeep.

Buffy stepped on the gas before she could lose her nerve. With one last push, Buffy slammed on the breaks, sliding to a stop inches from Lorelai's bumper. She had successfully blocked her in completely.

Throwing the car in park, Buffy jumped from the car. Lorelai, angrily, jumped from her car but her expression changed to one of surprise when she saw that the jerk that had blocked her was Buffy. And Buffy was already out of the car with keys in hand.

Buffy looked soaked through, her hair matted against her face, her eyes smudged with black liner. Somehow it looked sexy on her, and the intense expression on her face, made Lorelai's heart leap into her throat.

"What's wrong?" Lorelai yelled, over the roar of the rain. " What are you doing?"

Buffy was only feet away. Her teeth were chattering from the cold, her chest heaving with exertion and fear. Buffy's lips trembled as she spoke. " Starting something."

Before Lorelai could register what that meant, Buffy closed the distance between them. One minute she was standing feet away, the next she had her fingers in Lorelai's hair, pulling her forward, so that their lips met in a crushing kiss.

Lorelai's eyes few open in surprise. Buffy pulled back, her breath coming out in ragged gasps. " I started something," she said, " not it's too late to ignore."

Lorelai stared into Buffy's eyes; finally understanding what weeks of torturous thoughts had lead to. She hadn't been alone; Buffy had felt the pull as well. She kissed her so that they could not excuse their feelings.

Lorelai slipped her arms around Buffy's waist and pressed Buffy against her. Lorelai's lips came down on Buffy's again. Their lips touched softly, hesitantly, and then Lorelai's lips parted.

They broke apart breathlessly, bursting into nervous laughter. Buffy untangled herself from Lorelai and took a step back. Buffy tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear as she giggled nervously.

"So that happened," Buffy said.

"Yeah. We kissed," Lorelai said.

"Finally," Buffy laughed. " Felt a long time coming."

"And we pulled off the cliché of people kissing in the rain. You made a scene and everything," Lorelai laughed, as she gestured behind her at the two cars, " What is it about that rain?"

"Supposedly it's a cleansing metaphor," Buffy said, laughing at the irony of what she was about to say. " Cleanses away the past, the doubts…I guess. More like I am impulsive and like an entrance."

Lorelai nodded. " That was an entrance."

Buffy smiled. " Is it ok that I did?"

Lorelai smiled back. " It's very ok."

"Good. Just checking," Buffy looked over her shoulder at her car. " I should go. We can't get sick with the party coming on."

"Absolutely," Lorelai agreed. They both hesitated once more, acting like school children after a first kiss. They kissed one last time before heading to their separate cars. Buffy was just about to slip inside when she heard Lorelai's voice.

"This could get complicated, you know," Lorelai called out.

Buffy looked down at the ground for a minute then looked up with a smile. " It wouldn't be my life if it wasn't."

* * *

Author's Note: Release the balloons, light the firework pop the corks on the champagne!!! A kiss, a kiss!!!!!! I did it, I did it. 


	19. It's Red,Green and Chipped All Over

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 18: It's Red, Green and Chipped All Over**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Gilmore Girls, nor any of the characters. I make no money for these stories. Also the lyrics used in this song are not mine but that of the legendary Freddie Mercury. (If you don't know who that is, then I suddenly feel old at 23)

* * *

Luckily for Buffy, living in a small idyllic town made it easier to keep her identity hidden. Whereas Sunnydale had more cemeteries than Starbucks', Stars Hollow had one cemetery on the outside of town. Except for some kids messing around with the occult, Buffy had no fear of running into anyone.

Stars Hollow didn't come with vampires and demons already set up either. The only ones she'd come across were here for Mr. Deep Voice Robey guy, and she hadn't heard anything from him in more than a week. Typical male, she thought, tries to kill her and then doesn't even call.

So far she had dusted two vamps and she felt better already. After last night she needed one good slay. She was pretty proud of herself, not for the kiss itself (which was awesome) but for the fact that she wasn't dwelling on it. Sure, she could have gone through the "what ifs" and "what nows" but she just left herself live in the now. She could worry about that stuff later.

One person, however, wouldn't let her be. That was the, oh so annoying, platinum blonde beside her.

"Come on slayer," he prodded, " I know you better than you think I do. And right now some bloke has got you by the heart strings."

Buffy smiled. " Drop it Spike. I can honestly say that no bloke has my heart strings." She emphasized the words bloke, though Spike just figured she was making fun of his accent. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Spike asked.

"Flung any rocks at diner windows lately?" Buffy said, knowingly. Spike raised his eyebrows in surprise. The surprise soon turned to scorn.

"How do you know it was me?"

"Because I heard Luke complaining about 'those Emerson boys' who broke his window at the diner," Buffy explained. Then her voice changed, revealing a sudden sadness. " And because I know you better than you think I do." She turned Spike's words back on himself.

Spike kicked at the ground his hands clenched in his jacket pockets. " It just made me …angry, I suppose, when I saw her kissing that wanker."

"Luke is not a wanker," Buffy said. Defending the diner owner who had been nothing but nice to her since she moved here.

"He's, like, twice her age," Spike said.

"First of all, no he isn't," Buffy said," second of all, look who's talking. And third of all she's technically over a hundred years old."

"If you want to look at it that way," Spike muttered.

Buffy studied his down turned head, trying to read his features. "They're not exclusive or anything Spike. It's brand new. It might not last."

Spike muttered something quietly to himself. " What?" Buffy asked.

"I let her decide," Spike repeated.

"Decide what?" Buffy asked.

"Decide where we go from here," Spike explained. " I guess she decided."

"Whether you are together or not?" Buffy asked. Her voice held an edge of bitterness to it.

"Yeah,"Spike said.

Buffy stopped in her tracks. Spike took a few more steps before he noticed that Buffy was no longer beside him. Spike turned to face her.

"Why are you telling me this!" Buffy exclaimed, as she gestured with her hands, before pressing the palms of her hands against her eyes. Her head had started that familiar throbbing that came with the tension.

"Slayer?" Spike said.

Buffy looked up. " Why are you doing this? Why are you telling me this? Is this some demented payback thing?"

"Slayer, have you gone completely carrot top? That's what friends do, don't they? They talk about their problems, share their fuzzy feelings and what not?"

Buffy was about to answer, when something over Spike's shoulder caught her attention. "Hold that thought," she said, as she pushed Spike out of the way.

"Slayer," it growled.

"Vampire," she spat back. " Now that we've been introduced."

The vampire lunged at Buffy, but she ducked and rolled past him. The vamp turned and charged again, this time he managed to land a punch right across her face. Buffy's head snapped back as she was thrown to the ground. Using the pain to fuel her anger, she sprang back to her feet. She did a round house knocking the vamp to the ground. She landed with a thud, dazed momentarily and then he was on his feet. It looked at Buffy a moment and then ran for the exit of the cemetery.

"Oh no you don't," Buffy said. She reached for her stake and then taking a breath, she aimed and then threw the stake as hard as possible. It flew through the air-twisting end over end until it hit its mark and plunged deep into the vampire's chest. The vamp screamed once before he exploded into dust.

Buffy retrieved her stake and then walked back to Spike and without missing a beat, took off right where she left off. She walked right up to Spike jabbing his chest with her finger to drive her point home. "We're not friends Spike."

She turned, folding her arms over her chest, as she took a breathe before turning to face him. "We're not friends," she repeated. She spoke as though worn out and defeated. "We never were. We were enemies, we were lovers and we fought side by side. But we were never friends."

"Buffy…I…" Buffy held up one hand to silence him.

"I told you I loved you and you threw it back in my face and that's fine because I did more of my share of that to you. Then you died, possibly twice, you come back here suddenly and you aren't sure of your love for me because you can't remember it. It's like you got to come back here with a clean slate. I didn't. When I see you, I see those last moments with you. I am still me. You come back and find your old flame, and expect me to what? Be chummy with you about it? Maybe plot ways to get her back? It's too much Spike. In time, sure, but it still….it still hurts."

Spike looked away and then at the ground, anywhere but at the raw pain in Buffy's face. "I'm sorry. I'm a git aren't I?"

"As gits go, yeah," Buffy said, with a small smile. "Besides, it's not just you Spike. There is a lot going on right now. There's a new evil in town, supposedly worst than the First and yet we've heard nothing after the first meeting. I don't really know what to do with myself, or who I am right now. It feels like I have a chance to feel shiny and new again, but I can't get there."

"Shiny and new?" Spike asked with a smile.

"Sure," Buffy shrugged. " Who doesn't want to feel shiny and new again."

"Is this another cookie dough analogy?" Spike joked.

Buffy slapped his arm playfully. " How do you know about that?"

"The famous cookie dough speech," Spike said with a half smile, "Oh, everyone knows about that."

"I think it's a fine analogy." Buffy said defensively.

Spike walked over to Buffy, extending his arms. Buffy tensed for a moment and Spike stopped. " Is this ok?"

"Only one way to find out," Buffy said, as she let Spike put his arms around her and pull her close. Buffy rested her head against his cool chest, and let her eyes flutter closed. There was a smell in the air, the smell of snow. Buffy opened her eyes and saw large white flakes begin to fall from the sky.

"You think we'll ever be friends?" Spike whispered, against her hair.

Buffy closed her eyes and she inhaled deeply, trying to hold on to this comforting moment. "Maybe," she said quietly. " One day."

* * *

"Goodnight mom," Rory called up the stairs.

"Night Kid," Lorelai called back. She waited until she heard the sound of Rory's door close before she retreated into her own bedroom. Lorelai slid out of her robe and tossed it onto the end of her bed, before crawling under her comforter. She turned off the small lamp on her bedside table that plunged the room into darkness.

As she lay in the darkness she found herself replaying last night's events in her head. When they had had that brief conversation in Buffy's car, Lorelai thought it had been settled, though she'd felt no closure. She had been so sure she had made the right decision. It had been a case of lust that was it. Sure, it was strange how they had both felt it, but it was still just a feeling. Feelings went away, a lesson she'd learnt well, and the sooner it ended the better for both of them. It wasn't as if there were long term aspects in their futures. She didn't think she'd want that anyway. She needed closure. To get over that closure, maybe she needed one hot affair. One last attempt at being the crazy girl she'd missed out on.

Sure, it might be new and exciting at first, but what then? It was hard enough bringing a new man into her life and Rory's, but a woman? She could only imagine Emily's face. Lorelai smiled at the reaction that would bring up. It would almost be worth telling her for that reaction, Lorelai thought.

It was just too complicated to be worth it, right? Lorelai had laid her head against the steering wheel, listening to the radio. A song by Queen was playing one of her favorite songs. The words made her want to roll her eyes as the irony.

' Each morning I get up I die a little  
Can't barely stand on my feet

Take a look in the mirror and cry  
Lord, what you're doing to me  
I have spent all my years in believing you  
But I just can't get no relief, lord'

Lord, somebody, somebody

Can anybody find me?

Somebody to love?

'Got no feel, I got no rhythm  
I just keep losing my beat  
I'm ok, I'm alright  
Ain't gonna face no defeat

I just got to get out of this prison cell  
One day I'm gonna be free, lord  
Find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love'

Listening to the words, her thoughts had become a jumble in her head. With a sigh of defeat, she turned the key in the ignition and waited until the jeep roared to life. What she had wanted to do then was go home, drink way too much, and fall into a drunken slumber.

As soon as she'd started the car, a beam of light had momentarily blinded her. Before she had time to react, a black car was speeding towards her. It skidded to a stop only inch from her car.

When she'd found a soaking wet Buffy standing there, this weird feeling seemed to fill her. She didn't realize it until now, that the feeling had been one of hope. She had privately hoped that Buffy hadn't let her walk away so easily.

When their lips had touched, it felt like a shock wave had shot through her body. Her body reacted like it did to any potential lover that was unexpected. It had been a great, foggy headed, chills though the body kinda kiss.

She wondered what it would be likes to see Buffy at work tomorrow. The tension was relived somewhat and she hoped that would lead to a more normal conversation. What happened was still a question; it was a question she didn't feel rushed to answer. And that was a pleasant comfort.

* * *

Willow felt the bright rays of the sun penetrate her eyes without even opening them. The sun felt warm against her closed eyelids. Even though the sun told her it was time to wake, the warm naked body pressed against her wanted to hold on to this dream state.

Before the fog of sleep could lift, Willow walked to the window and pulled the curtains closed, casting the room into semi-darkness. She turned and looked upon her lover. Ashley was tangled in the sheets, one perfectly shaped leg bare from toes to hip. Willow crawled back into bed as quietly as possible as not to wake her.

Supporting herself on one elbow, Willow ran the tips of her fingers over the curve of Ashley's hip. Ashley skin felt as soft as silk under her fingers. Ashley's eyelids flickered at the touch.

Ashley opened her eyes and smiled. She sat up and planted a kiss on the tip of Willow's nose, before rolling out of the bed. She made her way to the bathroom and had just shut the door, when the phone rang. Willow looked at the bathroom door, waiting to see if Ashley would come answer it. The shower started. Willow reached over for the receiver. " Hello Ashley's residence, Willow speaking."

Willow heard a surprised intake of breath on the other line. "Hello?" Willow asked again, but the line went dead.

The door to the bathroom opened and Ashley stuck her head out. " Was the phone ringing?"

"Yeah, I answered it, but they hung up," Willow said.

A fleeting look crossed over Ashley's face but was gone before Willow could register it. Ashley recovered and then smiled. "I'm taking a shower." Ashley said. " And I just wanted to know if you wanted me to show you my special skill with the detachable shower head?"

Willow smiled and was up and out of the bed before Ashley could even finish the question.

* * *

When Xander opened his eyes, it took him a couple of seconds to remember where he was. And then he saw an arm lying across his chest that wasn't his. Brooke was curled against his side, her arm over his chest and her head buried into the side of his neck.

Last night there had been a huge snowfall and Xander had been stuck in Hartford at Brooke's apartment. After a dinner, hot chocolate and some light making out in front of the fireplace they had sex.

He hadn't been laid in a long time and felt like he'd forget how to do it when the time came. But it had been just like riding a bike. It didn't hurt that the bike in question, had some serious hardware. Brooke had seemed to enjoy herself last night, Xander though with a grin. It had been pretty mind blowing for him too. Even the next morning he still felt completely drained.

He lay there glancing around her loft. The loft was designed like a studio with floor to ceiling windows, open rooms and hardwood floors, complete with open beam ceilings and studio lighting. She had done well for herself, clearly.

Brooke stirred as she began to wake.

"Good morning sleepy head," Xander whispered.

"Mmmm…mornin'," Brooke said, as she stretched her tired limbs.

"How's it going?" Xander asked, trying to remain cool.

Brooke smiled as she planted a kiss on Xander's bare chest. "Good. Pleasantly numb. How are you?"

"Great," Xander replied. " Do you….I mean, are you….ok, with last night?" he stammered. His voice gave away is nerves.

Brooke ran her finger over Xander's lower lip and smiled when he sucked her finger into his mouth. "If you're asking me if I regret what happened, the answer is no," Brooke assured him," Granted it was a little sooner than modern dating suggests. But I've wanted to sleep with you since I first saw you."

Xander smiled as his ego took a boost. Xander cupped her cheek, bringing her lips closer to his, for a long, slow kiss. "I'm going to have a shower," Xander said, after the kiss was over. "You want to join me?"

"Be right there," she said, as she smiled up at him.

Brooke waited until he was in the bathroom, before reaching for her phone. She tensed when she heard the voice on the other end of the line. "Hello, Ashley's residence, Willow speaking."

Brooke opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. "Hello?" came the voice again. Brooke hung up abruptly.

That was close, she thought. She threw the covers aside and went to join Xander.

* * *

"You guys keep going on about Luke's coffee, but I think your coffee is pretty damn good," Buffy said, between sips.

Sookie smiled. " Thank hun." She slid a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies towards Buffy. "Here, try some. What do you think?"

Buffy hesitated. " They're…ah, festive," she said, as she looked at the green and red cookies. "But there's something about green food that causes me to lose my appetite."

"It's not Christmas until you've tried one of Sookie's famous Christmas Cookies," Lorelai said, as she breezed into the kitchen. She was holding her coffee in one hand and her planner in the other, looking more relaxed then she'd been in awhile.

"Hey Lorelai," Sookie said, cheerfully. The cheerful Sookie was armed with a spatula that went flying when she waved wildly at Lorelai. A busboy ducked, just before the wayward spatula almost collided with his head. Buffy reached out to help the busboy as Sookie, as always, remained blissfully unaware.

Lorelai smiled, as she crossed the room towards the coffee pot. " What's wrong with you?" Sookie asked her.

Lorelai glanced over her shoulder. "What do you mean? Nothings wrong."

Sookie looked up from her mixing bowl. " Come on. You've been all distant and moody for the last couple of weeks and then suddenly bang….you're all Lorelai happy again."

It wasn't exactly a bang, Lorelai thought with a cocky smile. " I'm fine. Just stressed over the holidays. I'm fine now."

"Did you put something in your coffee?" Sookie asked. Lorelai laughed.

"Everything is pretty much done for the party," Buffy said. " The stress is pretty much gone."

Lorelai shot her an appreciative smile. "See Sookie, I'm not crazy."

"Ok," Sookie said, with a shrug. " It's not a bad thing. I'm glad you're happy."

Buffy slid her cookie under her napkin while Sookie wasn't watching. Michel walked into the kitchen looking like death had worn over. " What's wrong Michel?" Buffy asked, as she covered the cookie quickly.

"Mr. Mallows is complaining about the heat in his room again."

"I just had Paul fix the heater," Lorelai pointed out.

"Yes. And now it's too hot," Michel said, with a look of distain.

"Too hot, too cold. Seems like he needs a trip from the three bears," Buffy muttered under her breath.

"That's Goldilocks," Michel pointed out, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I don't much care for Goldilocks," Buffy answered. The name brought way too many memories back for her.

"I always liked Sleeping Beauty myself," Lorelai said.

"My favorite was snow white," Sookie added.

"Snow white was a tramp," Michel said, making everyone look up in surprise. Michel shrugged. " She was living with all those men.

"They were dwarves," Buffy said.

"They are still men," Michel pointed out.

"Yes, but tiny men," Buffy laughed, as she held up her index finger and thumb to demonstrate how tiny.

"Enough Disney talk," Lorelai, said. " Tell Mr. Mallows that the heater will be turned down and tell him dinner is on us tonight."

"But…" Michel started.

"Just tell him Michel," Lorelai said. " It's Christmas."

"Hey Michel?" Buffy said. " Have a cookie. It will make you feel better."

She picked up one of the cookies off the plate and held it out to Michel. " See it's green, red and chipped all over." Buffy quipped.

Michel stared at her for a moment, looking angrier and angrier by the second. "Make me feel better? Make me feel better?"

"Aw crap, now she's done it," Sookie whispered to Lorelai.

"She woke the lion," Lorelai whispered back.

Buffy looked over her shoulder at both of them for an explanation, but Michel had started again. " Do you know how many calories are in those cookies? Do you know how many squats, and lifts and aerobics I would have to do to work off only one of those cookies?!"

"I'm not really a squats girl," Buffy said, trying to keep a straight face.

"It takes a lot to keep this figure up," Michel said. " And you are trying to sabotage my fitness regime."

"Did you know the faster you talk, the more French you get?" Buffy asked.

"Infuriating Girl!" Michel shouted.

"My Indian name, I believe," Buffy said, starting to get annoyed now.

"Ok Michel, go tell Mr. Mallows what I told you please," Lorelai, said.

Michel left the kitchens with a huff. Buffy turned towards the other two. " What is wrong with him?"

"Inbreeding?" Lorelai suggested. Sookie elbowed her.

"He's just takes his diet seriously," Sookie said.

"I'll say," Buffy muttered.

"So, Lorelai and I are going to rent some chick flicks tonight. Sort of a distressing before the party," Sookie said. "Did you want to join us?"

"I'd love to and thanks. But I promised my friend Willow that we would hang out tonight." Buffy said. Buffy gulped the last of her coffee and then scooped up her paperwork. "I'm just going to run some last minute details past the band and then I'm gonna head out. I'll see you guys tomorrow then?" She was talking to both of them but she was only looking at Lorelai.

"See you tomorrow," Lorelai said with a nod. "Oh, and I won't tell Sookie that you hid a cookie under your napkin."

Sookie's head shot up at the mention of her name. " What?!"

Buffy laughed. " Thanks."

As Buffy headed into the dining room she heard Sookie, " What's wrong with the cookies? How come she doesn't like my cookies?"

* * *

"So you kissed?" Willow said.

"Yeah," Buffy said with a sigh. Willow remained quiet. Buffy peeked at her from under her toque. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?" Willow asked.

"I don't know. What do you think?"

Willow shrugged. " I wonder why you are telling me. I wonder why I am the only one you told. Is it because I, too, kiss girls so somehow I'll understand your dirty little secret?"

Buffy frowned. "No, I told you because you're my best friend and because of that maybe you'll understand."

"Sorry," Willow said. " That was a crappy thing to say Buffy, sorry. I'm just a little on edge with Ashley. Something's up. Something I can't put my finger on."

"Women," Buffy muttered.

The two of them were crossing the small park that was about ten minutes from their house. Buffy was armed with snacks and Willow carried a selected amount of movies with her. Night had fallen an hour ago and with it had come another snowfall. One thing Buffy had missed in Sunnydale was the snow.

As they walked, the sound of snow crunching beneath their feet was the only sound that could be heard. Puffs of smoke came out of their mouths as their warm breath mixed with the cold air. Buffy pulled her toque down further to cover her ears, as she shifted her hold on the snacks.

She hadn't planned to tell Willow, but as best friend she felt like she had to tell someone before she burst. There was no way she was going to tell anyone else. She didn't even know how that conversation would go. She figured she'd let this thing with Lorelai run its course and see what happened before she went blurting things out to her friends and family. For once, Buffy wanted to keep a secret out of need, not duty.

" I can't believe Christmas is only a couple of days away," Buffy said.

"Hello. Jewish." Willow answered.

"What about Xander's snoopy dance?" Buffy said. " You wait for that every year like we wait for Santa." Buffy laughed.

Willow grinned. " I do love the snoopy dance," she agreed.

Buffy was suddenly aware of snow crunching behind her. An ominous feeling spread through her, as every hair stood up on end. "Will…" she whispered, before Willow was hit hard from behind.

"Will!" Buffy screamed. Willow went flying into a tree before crumbling into a heap at the base.

Buffy dropped her bags and ran towards the vamp that was hovering over Willow. She grabbed him by the arm and hauled him off. She hit him under the chin with the palm of her hand, causing his head to snap back with a crack.

He grunted in pain, as he reeled to recover from the blow. He swung for Buffy, hitting her at the temple, driving her to the ground like a ton of bricks. As she struggled to her feet, her head spinning, another vamp joined the fight. He hit her with what felt like a metal bar, right across the shoulder blades. Buffy screamed in pain, as she fell to the ground again. As the vamp brought the metal bar down, Buffy took the jolt along her open palm as she gripped onto it.

She jammed the pole up and hit the second vamp in the face. He fell into the first vampire and they both fell to the ground. Buffy jumped to her feet.

"Two on one," she said, her voice thick with pain. " Now that's not fair."

As Buffy went to swing at the closet vamp, something hit her from behind. An intense pain and heat seemed to spread up from the base of her neck. Her legs went to jelly and she fell to the ground. The pain seemed to be coming from everywhere as she tried to pull herself into a ball. Her head was swimming, and she remembered thinking that this must be it. The day she died. Again.

The next thing she saw was a bright light. If she weren't in so much pain, she would find it amusing that the white light thing was real. She didn't remember a white light the first two times. The whole park seemed to light up, as if the daytime had wiped out the darkness.

The snow underneath her was making her cold. The fact that she felt the cold meant she was still alive. She held on to that to keep from passing out. The next thing she knew, Willow was hovering over her, her face full of concern.

"Am I dead?" Buffy muttered, through swollen lips.

"Not this time," Willow said, attempting a smile. "When you see yourself you might wish you were."

"Thanks," Buffy muttered again. Her eyelids fluttered closed.

"Buffy? Buffy?! Come on Buffy, wake up," Willow insisted, shaking her best friend.

"I'm awake," Buffy whispered.

"We have to get you home," Willow said, as she helped Buffy to her feet.

With Willow holding onto Buffy, they began the awkward walk towards their house. "Where did the light come from?" Buffy said, her head drooping against Willow's shoulder.

Her speech came in broken waves; luckily Willow was used to the beaten talk of Buffy, and understood. " It was something I worked on in Rome," Willow answered. " Simulated sunlight in a vial. It was something that Tara and I used to work on."

"You've had it all this time?" Buffy asked.

" I wasn't sure if it worked," Willow said. " And this took months to get right. You were taking quite a beating, so I had to think fast."

"Well me and my head thank you," Buffy said. " Are we there yet?"

"Almost," Willow said. " Just hold on for a little while longer."

"I'm holding Will," Buffy said. Every bone in her body was screaming in protest at the act of walking. She hadn't been in so much pain in a long time, and it had been a nice vacation. Her head was throbbing like crazy and bile was rising up in the back of her throat that threatened to make her throw up those stupid green, red and chocolate chip cookies.

Finally the lights of the old Victorian were right before them, and Willow sighed in relief. She was in pain as well, and carrying a half unconscious Buffy, wasn't easy. As they climbed the stairs to the house, Buffy was pretty much gone. It was getting near impossible to keep her eyes open, and her legs weren't keeping their footing well.

Willow pushed open the front door and pulled Buffy inside. As they came through the door and around the corner, Willow saw Spike, Dawn and Xander sitting in the living room. Willow stopped dead, as she followed their glances. "Buffy?" Willow whispered, her voice betraying her shock.

"Mmm…?" Buffy groaned. The light hurt her eyes, and she couldn't open them. Just then, Buffy felt like the ground was pulled from beneath her. She felt a pair of arms go around her, preventing her from colliding with the floor. She felt herself lifted into the air, as she was carried. She heard a mumble of excited voices, but could no longer pick one voice out of the crowd. In her delusion, she though she heard another familiar voice.

She felt the couch beneath her, as she was lain down. She tried to open her eyes, and the light flooded in.

"Buffy?"

"The lights…" she groaned. Someone was kind enough to hit the lights and things weren't so bright.

"Buffy, can you hear me?" Came a voice again.

Buffy attempted to lift her eyelids again. She never knew eyelids could feel so heavy. Someone sat in front of her, and she blinked several times to try to focus. Several seconds later, her eyes focused and then widened in surprise. Immediately, her eyes filled with tears, and a wave of relief flooded through her.

"You're not here," she said, shaking her head slowly. "I'm having delusions."

He laughed, his voice so real. So warm. Buffy slowly, and painfully, lifted her hand and reached out to touch him. He was there.

Buffy felt a sob catch in her throat. " I missed you, Giles."

"I missed you too Buffy," he said, as he ran his hand over her head, pushing her hair back. " Everything is going to be alright."

Buffy managed a nod, before her eyelids fluttered shut again.

* * *


	20. It's Beginning to Look a lot Like XMas

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 19: It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas**….

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Gilmore Girls, nor any of the characters. I make no money for these stories

Also I have done some images for this story, for those who wonder what Ashley, Brooke and Kate look like. I like to have an idea so I base them on celebs usually. If you want to see some of the images I have made then please email me at twilight. and I will email them to you.

* * *

Buffy faced the monster in front of her.

Its eyes were rimmed in red and were protruding from its face. Colors of purple and blue with a twinge of green surrounded both puffy eyes. Most of its face was covered in these colors. Its hair was matted to its head and there were cuts and scratches from its many battles. It was the ugliest thing she had ever faced.

She moved forward. So did it. They were staring each other down. Buffy narrowed her eyes. So did it. She moved a little closer, and it followed suite.

With a sigh, Buffy leaned in for a closer inspection. After she'd seen enough, she laid her head against its head. The pane of glass that separated her from her own reflection felt cool against her warm forehead. The monster she faced was one she'd seen many times before. Sure, it varied in appearances, but each one symbolized one thing. Survival. She had survived to see another morning even if she was all battered and bruised.

She hadn't been so beaten down since the First. Every part of her ached, even after a day spent in bed floating in and out of consciousness. That part had been great.

The cuts had closed due to her kick ass slayer powers, but some of them still looked as sore as they felt. Her left eye was no longer swollen shut, but bruising covered almost the entire eye socket.

The fact that she had serious bed head on top of a bruised and broken body didn't help. She touched her abdomen gingerly, moving up to her ribcage. Buffy was pretty much sure that some of her ribs were bruised.

The vamps had been strong. It was true that there were more of them than there were of her, but she'd dealt with that in the past and walked away with a couple of scratches. Not even the worse hangover ever, compared to the wreckage of this morning. They had been so strong if Willow hadn't stepped in, she would have died. Again.

And then she remembered Giles. Just thinking of her father figure brought a smile to her beaten face. She had spent only moments with him yesterday. Part of her worried that he wouldn't be downstairs, that it would have all been part of a cruel joke.

She hadn't seen Giles in so long. When they'd relocated to Rome, Giles had taken off again to try and resurrect a new Watcher's Council. No matter how long she'd been a slayer or how independent she'd become, part of her felt like she'd always be a little lost without him.

The scene that greeted her downstairs was a step back in time. The surroundings were different, but the people and the vibe reminded her of all the meetings in Sunnydale.

When they had been invited to Rome by the Immortal ( a story in itself) they had worked to rebuild their own kind of council. One where the council worked for them not in spite of them. The potentials (now slayers in their own right) had returned back to their homes with a promise to keep the secret and keep in touch. These without homes took jobs at the council, split between Rome and England.

Rome had been an interesting experience to say the least. For a while, she felt halfway normal. One night while drinking way too much, she swore she saw Angel and Spike at a club. Everything came crashing back. Even a hot fling wit the Immortal couldn't erase the feeling that something was missing.

When Giles had called and told her about Stars Hollow, she realized that even with all the slayers, she could never escape this. She would always be the Slayer. The Chosen One. It was her cross to bare.

Everyone was seated around the island in the kitchen. The shades were drawn which eliminated the beautiful sunshine, which pressed against the blinds, screaming to get in. Of course it was to prevent the oh, so flammable one, from exploding into dust.

"Buffy, Good morning," Giles said. Buffy hadn't even realized she was standing still in the doorway until every face turned to meet hers. Giles handed her a cup of coffee, which she accepted gratefully.

Giles looked critically at her up turned face. He reached out his hand and gingerly turned her head to the side to inspect the damage. Buffy searched his face looking for some kind of reaction. He took a step back and without missing a beat took off his glasses and cleaned them. Buffy smiled in spite of the pain it caused.

"I still can't believe you're here," Buffy said in disbelief. She took a seat next to Spike and set her coffee down. " I half expected you to not be here."

"Well hopefully I've come in time," Giles said, in his usual serious tone. " The threat is rising."

"Dun, dun, dun," Dawn whispered to Xander, who sat beside her.

Giles shot her a warning look and Dawn's smile vanished. " Sorry."

"Rising?" Buffy said, uncertainly. " But it's barely even….simmering. We've heard nothing from Mr. Robey Deep Voice."

"Your face would prove otherwise," Giles pointed out.

"Yeah, but that was the only time since our meeting. Before that, we had only a couple of vamps. Nothing out of the ordinary there," Buffy said.

"It is if it's happening in a small town that hasn't had a vamp for nearly fifty years," Giles said. " Vampires hardly ever hunt in small towns, unless they are just passing through."

"Rupert has a point," Spike pointed out, " surprisingly."

"As ever, thank you for your opinion Spike," Giles said. "Now to catch you up Buffy, Willow showed me the research you've been doing."

Buffy looked at Willow in surprise. Willow tried to portray something to Buffy without speaking, but Buffy couldn't read it.

"She did?" Buffy said to Giles, without taking her eyes off Willow. Buffy shrugged, unable to receive the signal Willow was trying to send.

"You seem surprised?" Giles said, clearly steering the conversation somewhere Buffy had no map for. " Could that possibly be because you haven't done research?"

"Well, now, that can't be true," Buffy, said. She glanced at everyone's faces and felt the shame spread. Surely, they'd done something?

"It is true Buffy," Giles said, sternly. " I sent you here to do research in hopes we might stop this before it got too powerful."

"There was….stuff," Buffy said lamely. Suddenly she wished she'd stayed in bed.

"It's been less than two weeks since we were attacked," Buffy said. " And we are doing the best we can but you told me to get a job at the Independence Inn because you thought it was a possible hell mouth. I'm not allowed to tell anyone the secret I have, but keep up the pretence. It's a hard job, Giles, I have to work to keep an eye on things."

"You've worked before Buffy," Giles said.

"What about Kate?" Willow said, trying to put a positive spin on things. " We found Kate."

"Ah yes," Giles said, nodding his head. He slipped off his glasses and rubbed his temples with the tips of his fingers. " A girl who knew Spike over a hundred years ago remembers her own death but not how she is alive now. A girl who was kidnapped by this creature but unsure of why it did or what she means. Where is she now?"

"She lives in town and works at the diner," Dawn said.

"So you don't have her within your sight most of the time?" Giles said in disbelief. " She could be in an alliance with this thing for all you know."

"Kate isn't evil," Spike insisted.

"She wasn't evil when she was alive; when she was human." Giles stated. "You don't even know her now."

Spike muttered something under his breath. " Pardon?" Giles asked.

"Look, before you make with the fisticuffs," Xander interrupted, not speaking up until now. " Do you know Kate is evil Giles?"

Giles slid his glasses back on, shaking his head. " No, I don't know."

"Well there you go," Spike said. " Jumping to conclusions as you always bloody do. Nothing changes with you Watchers."

"Shut up Spike," Xander said. " We should have done more research. Kate could have done anything in the last hundred years. We have proven she died. We haven't proven how she still lives. You knew her before her death, you don't know her now."

Spike got to his feet quickly, knocking over his chair. " I know her, she isn't evil. Don't you think she would have off'd us by now, if she were?"

"Not unless she didn't remember," Willow said, thinking out loud. Spike shot her a look. " Before you get all twitchy, just think about it Spike. What if the memory loss part was true? What if she struck a deal with the other side to be brought back and the memory loss is in her way. Maybe that's why the other side took her. Maybe that's why she only remembers her death."

"Exactly what I was about to say when everyone started jumping down my throat," Giles sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. Closing his eyes he felt the onset of a headache.

"She's not human!" Dawn burst out, saying it out loud just as the thought hit her.

"What? That's not what I meant Dawnie," Willow said. " I'm talking about her memory."

"I know. She's not human," Dawn clarified.

"What are you on about nibblet?" Spike asked.

"I didn't say it," Dawn said. " Giles did. A few moments ago. He said she only remembered her past before her death-when she was human. Meaning she's not?"

Everyone turned then to look at Giles. " Well, yes, now I have your attention," he said sarcastically. " Only Kate knows for sure what happened. A warlock will be able to help her remember for sure. I have sent for him already. We have found out only one thing- Kate is not human."

"Dun, Dun, Dun," Dawn echoed again. This time it came out weaker and unsure. Everyone just stared at the table, unsure of how to react.

"Quite right," Giles said, offhandedly, as he began to clean his glasses again.

"So we keep an eye on her," Buffy said finally. " Well, that's easy. She will be at the Christmas party tonight."

"Christmas party?" Giles said.

"Yeah. The Inn is holding a Christmas party." Buffy explained. " Everyone is going."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Giles asked. From the tone in his voice, Buffy guessed he already knew the answer to that.

"Stars Hollow's own scrooge," Spike said, " No party for Buffy loo and the scoobies too?"

"One more Seuss reference and your date will be with my dust buster buddy," Buffy said, even though a small smile flitted across her lips. "Giles, I've been helping plan this. It's Christmas! Besides, she'll be there."

"Because going to a party and no researching has got you this far," Giles said. He sounded so disappointed and Buffy felt about five years old.

"We did the best we could Giles," Buffy said. " But we all need to relax. We need this one normal holiday moment."

"You're being stubborn!"

"I'm being human!" Buffy shot back.

"You're supposed to be the slayer!" Giles said angrily, bringing his hands down hard on the countertop. Everyone jumped.

Buffy shook her head. " No. No!" She jumped to her feet. " I'm supposed to be done!"

Everyone stared at her in surprise. Despite the pain and the anger boiling inside her, Buffy stood as tall as possible as she stared at Giles. She spoke the words she had been thinking since she got here. Having said them out loud brought a wave of sadness rolling over her and her voice was thick with threatening tears.

"I'm supposed to be done Giles! When I stood on that road over a year ago, I was done. I was allowed to be normal…finally. But it's never going to happen. This is what I am," she said, pointing at her bruised face. " This is all I ever was and all I'm ever going to be!"

Before the tears had a chance to fall, Buffy turned and stormed from the room. Dawn looked teary and Willow shook her head.

"I think his heart grew ten times too big," Spike muttered as Giles shot him a look of contempt.

* * *

"Wow, you sure do clean up well slayer," Spike said. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, his eyes scanning the length of the beautiful women inside.

Buffy smiled as she adjusted her earrings. " Wow yourself." She turned and walked around the platinum hottie standing in her room. " I don't think I've ever seen you dressed like this."

Spike was dressed in a tailored suit, looking pretty hot, if she did say so herself.

"Xander said it was a dress up thing. So I dressed."

"With what money?" Buffy said with a smile.

Spike looked down at the ground, clearing his throat. " You look beautiful."

"Nice cover," Buffy said.

"You covered up those bruises well," Spike said. Her face was flawless.

"Willow did a glamour. I'm still bruised Buffy underneath." Buffy explained. She finished with her earring and did a little turn. " So?"

"Amazing," Spike said, with a wink.

Buffy stared at herself in the full-length mirror. The dress she had finally settled on was vanilla in color and clung to her curves. It was strapless gown, cut to the floor with a large slit up the side. The back was cut low and came to a point at the small of her back. Her makeup was done in golds and shimmery powder that made her look golden.

"Is Giles going?" Buffy asked.

"I think so," Spike said. " If only to keep an eye on everyone."

"Ok," Buffy said quietly. She desperately wanted to enjoy this night.

Spike walked forward and enfolded her in his arms. Buffy tensed at first, but let him hold her close. Closing her eyes, she leaned against him, drowning in the comfort he was offering. It was one of those moments that she knew would be few and far between in no time. And what would happen after everything? Spike would most likely disappear as quickly as he had arrived. With this thought, Buffy pulled away, smiling up at him. " We should go."

Spike nodded and held out his arm for her to take. With a laugh, Buffy entwined her arm with his and let him lead her from the room.

* * *

The lights from the Inn lit up the front lawn and the sound of cheerful Christmas music drifted outside to the guests clambering to be inside. The inside was decorated with splashes of gold, silver, white and red. It looked like it would be found on the cover of many decorating magazines.

The vibe inside was warm and friendly and as Buffy and the Scooby gang walked in, they felt the joy of the season wash over them. The morning's events seemed to float from their minds as they walked arm and arm with their loved ones as if they were normal people.

Willow had selected a green dress that looked beautiful with her red hair. She wore her hair long and curly, with her makeup done in gold and green to match the dress. The dress was organza with small threads of gold sewn through it, and small gold ribbon was tied around the dress in small spiral designs.

Ashley wore a black, strapless cocktail dress, which hugged every curve. She wore her strappy stilettos and her eyes were smoky and black. She wore her hair curled and pulled high, leaving her neck bare and slender. She hugged Willow's arm to her side as they past their coats to the guy at the coat check area before being pulled into the crowd.

Xander passed a drink to his beautiful girlfriend, before taking one for himself. He held up his glass in acknowledgement as Willow spotted him across the room. Xander hugged Brooke to his side, as Willow and Ashley made their way over.

"Xander, I want you to meet Ashley," Willow said, beaming brightly. Ashley and Xander shook hands. Xander couldn't help but flush at the sight of her. Brooke nudged his side, as she went to shake Ashley's hand as well.

"This is Brooke. And this is my best friend, Willow," Xander said, getting his voice back.

Brooke and Ashley smiled at each other, before Ashley started to pull Willow aside. " Do you want to get something to eat?" She asked Willow. Willow nodded, excused them, and headed to the food table.

"Get your tongue back in your head Mr. Subtlety," Brooke whispered.

"I didn't have my tongue out," Xander said back, as he gave her waist a squeeze.

"Come on, let's dance," Brooke laughed, as she pulled him onto the make shift dance floor.

Xander wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close against his body. Brooke laid her head against his chest so that he could lay his chin on top of her head. Brooke wrapped her arms around his waist. She loved how they fit together perfectly, so that she felt safe. It had been a long time since she had concerned herself with the routine of getting ready to go out.

She'd love every part. From the long, vanilla scented bath to the act of choosing her makeup and hairstyle. Her favorite part was sliding into the dress she'd, painstakingly selected, for tonight. It was a white, spaghetti strapped organza dress with an empire waist. It hugged her chest tightly and then flowed out, hiding most of her curves, except for when she moved. When she moved the dress would move and momentarily mold against her body, showing the curve of a toned thigh or the indent of her waist. The fabric felt amazing against her skin, but the best feeling right now, was the feeling of Xander's hands holding her close.

She didn't think she would fall this hard. And as much as she'd tried to keep her control, she felt herself falling fast and falling hard.

* * *

Lorelai was on the outside of the party, looking in. No one could see her, unless they were looking for her. She stood in the small alcove, hidden by boughs of holly and blanketed in shadow. It was a quiet place to stop and reflect on the evening. Watching the members of her town smiling and dancing, she felt warmth she hadn't felt in awhile. She had created this, for the most part, and it was finally here. Everything was falling a little more into place.

Lorelai held a champagne flute in one hand and gently swirled the liquid around and around. The sounds of "I'll be home for Christmas" sang by some husky voiced women, drifted through the Inn. It was one of her favorite songs. She watched her beloved daughter dance in the arms of her boyfriend, with a dreamy expression in her eyes. Lorelai remembered that expression. She remembered when things seemed a lot easier.

She had been in such a rut for the past couple of months. After breaking the engagement with Max (which she didn't regret) she felt a little lost. She had always been independent and a little out there. She wanted to be crazier. Once upon a time, she had dreams of opening her own Inn, traveling to Europe and so many other things. And now she spent most of her time running this Inn and dreaming of traveling. She didn't feel like Lorelai Gilmore anymore, she was 'hide in alcove' girl.

However, with her closest friends surrounding her, she felt hopeful again. That brought a smile to her face.

"Hey, 'women-I-kissed-the-other-night'?" Came a voice.

Lorelai found Buffy standing to the side of her, carrying two glasses of champagne.

"Hey," Lorelai said, with a laugh.

Buffy went to hand her the glass, and then noticed that Lorelai already had one. "Oh, you already have one."

Lorelai brought the glass to her lips and gulped the rest down, and then set it down on the table. "Refreshing," she said, as she reached for the glass.

Buffy smiled. "It looks beautiful Lorelai, you did a great job."

"We did a great job," Lorelai said, as she looked around the festive room.

"So why are you hiding here?" Buffy asked.

"Not hiding," Lorelai said, " Observing."

"Are you sure you're not hiding," Buffy asked. " Like, say, from me?"

"Why would I be hiding from you?" Lorelai asked.

"After the other night, I thought you might be hiding from me," Buffy said. " I don't usually go around kissing my bosses. I blame the rain."

" Stupid rain," Lorelai laughed. "I'm not hiding from you Buffy. Sure, the other night was a little out of the ordinary for me, but I am not hiding."

"It wasn't exactly the most normal night in the life of Buffy Summers," Buffy agreed. " But I've never exactly had the most normal life."

"I hear ya," Lorelai said, as she sipped her champagne.

"Are you sorry that we did?" Buffy asked.

Lorelai hesitated. "For the kiss itself? No. It felt right at the moment. Of course there is a lot of other stuff to consider. When it comes to that stuff, I don't know where I stand."

"I totally understand," Buffy agreed. " Everything always seems to lead to questions. I just wish we could skip that part."

"Skip to where though?" Lorelai teased.

"Skip to the part where we forgot the complete awkwardness of it all and go with the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe." Buffy said, as she pointed to the well-placed mistletoe above their heads.

Buffy stepped closer, their body's only inches away from one another. Buffy pushed Lorelai's hair off her face, as she tilted her head slightly, to look up at her. "No one can see," she whispered.

Lorelai found herself moving closer. Tentatively, Lorelai brought her hands to rest on Buffy's waist. Buffy smiled in spite of the awkwardness, as their lips met. It was gentle at first, as though each one were resisting it.

Just then, they heard someone calling Lorelai's name over the sound system. Buffy sprang back, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to catch her breath. "Did they just call my name?" Lorelai asked in a hushed whisper.

They met each other's eyes and laughed nervously. "Well, you should get out there," Buffy said.

"Yeah. Ok. Right. " Lorelai looked over herself. " Do I look alright?"

"You look beautiful," Buffy said.

Lorelai smiled. She grabbed her champagne and slid from the alcove. Buffy listened to the sounds of the crowd cheering on Lorelai as she thanked each one in turn. Buffy gulped back the rest of her drink, and slid back into the alcove. With all the craziness going around, this was one kind of crazy she wanted to get lost in.

And in the dark of the alcove, Buffy smiled to herself.

* * *

"I never took you for the kind of guy who was light in his loafers," Kate said, as peered up at Luke.

Luke frowned. " Doesn't that mean gay?" he asked.

Kate blushed. "Oh. Oops. I just meant that I didn't think you were the dancing type."

Luke smiled, as he pulled her a little closer. " It's not a hobby of mine. But with you looking like that, I am just trying to keep the other guys away."

Kate smiled. " Well, maybe I am trying to keep you from the other women."

Luke spotted Babette and Miss Patty at the opposite end of the room, no doubt, talking about Kate and him. Luke grimaced. " I don't think you have competition," Luke said.

Kate laughed. " Well, neither do you."

Luke chuckled under his breath. Clearly, Kate hadn't seen all the men watching her all night. Luke noticed that Kate looked deep in thought, and he whispered. " What are you thinking about?"

Kate looked at him a moment before answering. " I was just wondering if you were ever going to kiss me?"

Luke looked surprised. " I kissed you."

"Ah yes, but that was for charity," Kate replied.

"Well, every time I try to kiss you, vandalism happens," Luke answered.

"Well…" Kate began. " How do you feel about women making the first move?"

"I'm still waiting," Luke answered.

Kate smiled as she raised herself up on her toes, and pressed her lips against his. Luke captured her bottom lip between his, giving it a gentle tug as they pulled apart. Kate smiled. " See, no vandalism."

Luke dipped his head and caught her lips again, his tongue darting between her parted lips. Kate sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck, as she pressed herself against him.

As they parted for the second time, a face appeared beside her. Kate gasped in surprise as she found Spike standing beside them. He had appeared with no sound. Even Luke jumped a little.

Spike's eyes narrowed as he glared at Kate. " I need to talk to you."

* * *

Dawn raised herself onto one elbow as she smiled down at Jess. Jess had been completely attentive all evening, even when Rory joined them for a brief moment. Rory wasn't so bad; in fact Dawn really liked her. And fortunately for her, Jess didn't. Jess had stayed by her side all night, made excuses to touch her and whispered things into her ear all night. Dawn felt like she was floating on air. She felt completely relaxed and on edge all at the same time.

Jess was the ultimate bad boy. And even though he was kind with her, he still had an edge that excited her. And the fact that he was the first potential boyfriend she had ever had just added to the tension.

When Jess had pulled her into an empty guest room, she had felt exhilarated and unsure at the same time. Her body was telling her something completely different from her head.

Jess had turned down the lights and now they both lay on the bed, side by side. Dawn ran her fingertips over Jess' cheek and over his mouth. Jess played sucked her fingertips into his mouth, biting down gently.

Dawn pulled her fingers away, giggling softly. She wondered if her face was as red as it felt. After several minutes of making out, she felt as giggly as the girls she always made fun of. No wonder, people did the stupidest things when they were in love. Not that she was in love with him…yet.

"What are you thinking?" Jess asked softly. His arms were folded under his head, as he looked up at her.

Dawn shrugged. " Nothing. I guess I can't believe that I just made out with you, when a couple of days ago I didn't even want to see you again."

Jess smiled. " You wanted to see me," he said confidently. "You were just mad."

"I had every right to be mad," Dawn, pointed out.

"Let's not start this again," Jess said.

"I'm not starting anything," Dawn said defensively. " You started it."

"I started…!" Jess began, feeling defensive. Then he took a breath. " Now you've done it."

"Done what?!" Dawn said loudly.

Jess lunged at her, rolling her onto her back. Dawn gasped loudly, as his weight pressed her into the bed. "What are you doing?!" She gasped.

"Shutting you up," Jess said, before crushing her mouth with his own.

* * *

"Ok, ok, I am coming. No need to pull," Kate protested, as she wrenched her arm out of Spike's grasp. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Kate rubbed her arm tenderly. There would be a bruise tomorrow. The chill of the night air hit her like a blast as he pulled her onto the wrap around porch. Kate wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm.

Spike paced back and forth in front of her. Finally he stopped in front of her. "What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you?"

"Currently, the pain in my right arm is what is wrong with me," Kate answered sarcastically.

"You were kissing him," Spike said.

"Yes, I was, " Kate, agreed. " So?"

"So?!" Spike said in disbelief. Kate shrank away from his accusing stare.

"What are you doing with him?" Spike asked.

"That is none of your business."

"It is my business," Spike said. " After everything that we…."

"You didn't bring me back Spike!" Kate spat. " You are not the reason I am back here. Who knows why I am, but it wasn't you who did it, so how is this any of this your business? We had a fling way back when. That's all. You don't even know who I am any more than I do."

"I know you better than you think," Spike insisted. He ran his hand over his hair, cursing under his breath. Why was everyone so against him on this? " You are being stubborn as always."

"Me?! I don't go around throwing rocks through windows," Kate said.

"What?! Buffy told you?" Spike asked.

"No, I knew it was you," Kate said.

Spike walked closer, cupping her face and tilting her head back so that she had to look at him. " How did you know?" he asked softly.

"Spike, stop it." Kate said, trying to pull away. Spike held her firmly.

"How did you know?" he repeated, never dropping eye contact.

"I…I sensed you," Kate admitted, whispering the words.

"You sensed me, like I sense you," Spike said. " That means more than just a fling a hundred years ago. You and I are connected."

"It seems that way," Kate admitted. Spike smiled, as he began to lower his head towards hers. Kate turned her head to the side and his mouth-met air. Kate pulled out off his grasp a second time, and walked down the steps of the porch. She turned as she reached the bottom. "But that still doesn't mean that I want you."

A look of pain fleeted across Spike's face. Kate tensed, she felt like inflicting pain on him, like he'd done to her many lifetimes ago. And yet, inflicting that pain left her cold. "Spike…"

"No forget it…I…"

Suddenly all the lights in the Inn went out and there was a massive boom that shook the ground below their feet. Kate cried out in surprise, as she tried to keep herself from falling.

"What the hell…?!?" Spike began, and then he grunted in pain.

Kate heard the sound of someone dropping to the ground, but there wasn't enough light to see who. "Spike?!?" Kate screamed.

A cold burst of air hit her back and she spun around. In the small amount of light, she saw a robed figure gliding towards her. Every part of her screamed to run, but it felt like her feet were weighted to the ground. The remnants of the dinner she had had began to rise in her throat. It was gliding closer and closer and bringing with it a chill so strong, that it felt like a million pins in her flesh.

Kate opened her mouth to scream, but that too seemed frozen in horror. She remembered the cave where she had been trapped and feared that this time it would just kill her where she stood. She could hear the panicked cries of the people inside the Inn, but they seemed so far away some how.

Kate could only pray that it wouldn't hurt. That death would come quickly. The robed figure stopped in front of her.

"Katya." It hissed. " We really need to have a talk, you and I."

* * *


	21. Everywhere I Go

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 20: Everywhere I Go….**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Gilmore Girls, nor any of the characters. I make no money for these stories; they are written purely for fun.

**A/N**: I have been working on more images for this story. If you want them email me at twilight. and I will send them to you.

* * *

"Buffy! Buffy!"

Buffy spun around to find a frantic Giles hurrying towards her. By the time he got to where she stood, his face was strained and a fine line of sweat was beginning to bead on his brow. Clearly, he'd been looking for her for some time.

"Oh Giles, I want you to meet my boss-Lorelai," Buffy said easily as she gestured to the stunning brunette standing at her side.

Giles managed a polite nod, and grasped her head in a rushed handshake. "Could you excuse us?" Giles said to Lorelai. He was pulling Buffy away before she could even answer. Once they were far enough away not to be overheard, Giles turned towards Buffy.

"Giles, what's your trauma?" Buffy whispered loudly, as she pulled her arm free of his grasp.

"Where's Kate?" he said in a hushed whisper.

"She's over there with," Buffy pointed towards Luke. But Luke was now standing between Babette and Miss Patty, looking very uncomfortable. Buffy turned towards Giles again. "Well, that's not good," she spoke under her, breathe.

"No, quite right," Giles said sharply. "You're not taking this seriously at all, are you Buffy? I just don't understand you right now."

Buffy rolled her eyes, planting her hands firmly on her hips. "I'm doing the best I can Giles."

"I don't think that's true," Giles said. " You may be all over the place when it comes to life, but when it comes right down to it; when it comes down to what really matters, you're always so…proactive. You can always step up and do what you have to do. You're a fighter Buffy."

Buffy's cool façade faltered. Basically, he was expressing his disappointment in her. Nothing got to her more than feeling like she was letting the man, she thought of as her father, down.

"You're right," Buffy said, finally. " You're absolutely right. The delivery could have been better, but I got the message. Excuse me." Buffy turned, and with a renewed purpose, she went to find Kate.

Giles watched her walk away, with a smile on his face. A passing server offered him a glass and he gladly accepted. As he watched Buffy charge towards Luke, he felt that familiar tug of pride he'd always felt for his slayer. He couldn't imagine what was going through her head after all she'd been through the past year, but if being tough on her made her stronger than so be it. If she only knew what he had been researching for the past couple of months, she wouldn't be quick to spend her time at Christmas parties and making friends. However, maybe spending time at 'being normal' wasn't such a bad idea. Who knew how many days they had left?

* * *

"Oh, hello dear. Don't you look beautiful," Miss Patty said, as Buffy drew near.

Buffy smiled politely. "Thank you."

"What a skinny little thing you are honey. I used to be as tiny as you are when I met my Morie," Babette said, in her usual raspy tone.

"In what life time?" Miss Patty said sarcastically, as she nudged Babette. Babette nudged back and soon the two women were laughing about past events.

Buffy looked to Luke for help. Luke shrugged. " Why do you think I've been standing here, if I had an escape plan?"

"Oh Luke, you are such a tease," Miss Patty said, as she cuddled into his side.

"I'm sorry ladies, but I need to steal Luke away for just a moment," Buffy said. " I will bring him back in one piece." She added a wink to her promise, which had both women laughing again.

Buffy reached for Luke and lead him to a less crowded area. " Thanks for saving me. I kept trying to think up excuses and each one somehow triggered a childhood experience." Luke laughed. " Next time you come into the diner, coffee is on the house. If you find a way for me not to return then you can eat on the house as well."

Buffy forced a smile. " Thanks. But actually I just wanted to ask you where Kate was."

Luke looked surprised. " Kate? She went off with that Billy Idol wanna-be."

Now it was Buffy's turn to look surprised. Luke smiled. " Never saw that resemblance before?"

"No, I have. I was just surprised that you knew who Billy Idol was," Buffy said.

"Is there anything wrong?" Luke asked. " Is he trouble?"

Buffy choked back a laugh. "Well, that's another story, but no. Sorry to leave you hanging, but I just need to discuss something with her. Did you see which way she went?"

"It looked like they were heading outside," Luke answered. He was starting to look more and more concerned as the interrogation pursued.

Buffy attempted to reassure him. " Just girlie stuff. No worries. Thanks."

Buffy headed back towards Giles. She took the drink from his hand and took a large swig. " Spike took her outside. No doubt to try and remind her that she is supposed to be in love with him or something. The guy really can't let go of these things." She shook her head, making a 'tsking' sound with her tongue.

"And?" Giles said.

"And," Buffy said, with a sigh. Geez, could she ever someone to just have some faith in her for a moment? " I came over to tell you and then I am going to go outside and find her. Is that ok with you? Geez Giles, I have everything under control…" Buffy said in with a wide smile, as she placed her hands on her hips.

The moment the words left her mouth, the room was pitched into darkness. Before anyone could make a sound of surprise there was a massive boom. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the exact same time. The ground beneath his or her feet seemed to pitch forward, and everyone was thrown forward at the same time. Buffy felt like her teeth were rattling in her mouth, as she was thrown against a pillar.

She took the brunt of the knock against her, already bruised, ribs. Buffy let out a grunt of pain as she struggled to right herself. The shaking stopped as quickly as it began, but the lights remained off.

In the small amount of moonlight coming through the large bay windows, Buffy saw Giles staring at her with a look of ' I told you so' written all over his face.

Buffy frowned as she crossed her arms over her chest, as if to challenge her watcher. " As if that was my fault!"

* * *

Kate felt like her throat was going to collapse in on its self. It felt like an icy hand had wrapped its fingers around her throat and begun to squeeze. Her wide eyes stared, unblinking, at the robed thing in front of her. It was unnerving enough to face an evil thing, but staring at a gaping hole was somehow more unnerving.

Finally, she found her voice. " Talk to me about what?"

"About your past," it rasped.

Its voice resembled the sound of sandpaper being used on a piece of lumber. The grating tone of its voice sent chills through her body. A chill that had nothing to do with being cold.

"I don't remember much of my past," Kate answered.

"That is because you haven't accepted," it replied.

"Accepted? Accepted what?!" She asked. This conversation was sounding more and more like a religious conversion every second. Next, it would probably ask her if she'd found Satan.

"I need you to come with me," it said simply. " I need to talk with you."

"You just want to talk with me?" she repeated slowly, just to make sure she was hearing it correctly.

"Yes," it answered, as though amused at her confusion. Kate thought she even heard a slight chuckle come from inside the black hood. When she thought she couldn't get any more confused, Mr. Robey Deep Voice, continued. " I only ask that you come with me, hear what I have to say and then you can return here."

"You make it sound like I have a choice," Kate said.

"You do have a choice, Katya."

"So, you are telling me that if I don't want to talk to you I can turn around right now and return to the Inn. And you won't kill me or attack me if I try to go?" Kate clarified. This was too easy.

"Yes," it said again. It held out its arms to the side as if to let her know that it would not stop her.

"I don't believe you," Kate said. " Why would you ever think that I would come with you willingly?"

"Because, Katya, I have no doubt that you will come with me." It replied. The easy way he spoke was beginning to infuriate her. It didn't seem bothered with her one way or another.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked. She regretted asking the question the moment it left her mouth.

"Curiosity," it replied. " You know what they say about curiosity don't you?"

"Yeah, it killed the cat," Kate replied.

"Oh…well, that is a poor analogy then isn't it?" It said, chuckling.

Kate's eyes widened in surprise. It was joking with her now? What the hell was going on? The strangest thing is that it was something she would have said her self. It talked to her with a familiarity that was unnerving.

"You said that you knew me in Ireland," Kate said. " I have never been to Ireland."

"Yes, you have," it replied.

"If you trust me so much to follow you, then why do you have me paralyzed?"

The robed thing waved a hand in front of it as if erasing a mistake and the paralysis was gone. Kate moved her limbs to test that it had worked completely. Even though, if she attempted to run, it would probably just put the whammy on her now.

Kate took in a shaky breath, her lips starting to tremble. "Did…did I die?"

The robed thing didn't say anything for a moment. Then it nodded once and it sent Kate's heart hammering in her chest.

Kate squeezed her eyes shut as the blood starting to pump loudly in her ears. There were so many questions and she had no idea where to start. And if she did have questions, how could she possibly know that this thing was telling her the truth?

"You said that I couldn't remember because I hadn't accepted something right?" She asked. She waited for the robed thing to give her any sort of agreement. It nodded. "So if I accepted you then I would be able to remember. What do I have to accept?"

The robed thing seemed to stare at her for a moment. For a second, Kate thought it might turn and leave. Had she upset it somehow? Did she care?

Finally It began to move. Slowly, as though capitalizing on the drama of the moment, it began to reach for its hood. Kate's breath caught in her throat. She was about to see its face, and she had no idea what she was in for. But she was missing a huge piece of her life's puzzle and she was getting to the desperate point where she wanted to figure it out. So badly, in fact, that she didn't care where the information came from anymore. She was so tired of the confusion and all the questions; she wanted facts for once.

Closing her eyes, she drew in a shaky breath. The chill of the night air entered her nose and froze its way down her throat. Trying to remain as calm as possible, she opened her eyes. In a few seconds she would see what she faced.

"Are you sure?" It asked as its hands stilled.

Kate chewed her lower lip, considering this. She stood a little straighter and stared at it head on. She nodded once.

It removed its hood.

* * *

"What the hell…." Dawn gasped.

Jess lifted his head, staring at the black room around him. " Power outage?"

Dawn's heart began to thud against her ribcage. "Then why the mini earthquake that followed?"

"Construction?" Jess offered. It sounded lame even as he said it, but the girl in his arms was clearly freaked.

"I don't think so," Dawn muttered.

"Maybe…"

"Shhh…" Dawn pushed herself upright, straightening her dress. The hairs on the back of her neck rose as an ominous feeling settled over them. In her life things like this weren't a symptom of normal occurrences. Something was happening. Something bad.

"Dawn, don't worry about it," Jess whispered. He was so close, that she felt his warm breathe tickle her earlobe.

Dawn put a hand on his chest, holding him back. "Something isn't right. We should go check it out."

"It's a power outage. It's perfect, actually." Jess said suggestively, trying to pull her back down onto the bed.

Dawn pushed him aside, getting to her feet. She heard Jess mutter something under his breath.

"Dawn, stop worrying."

Just then a noise caught Dawn's attention. " I think someone's coming."

Jess got off the bed and stood beside her. Clearly he had heard the noise too. He put a reassuring hand on the small of her back. " Probably just coming to see if we are ok."

Even Jess sounded freaked, Dawn thought. This wasn't helping the panic. Suddenly the door to the room burst inward. Wasn't that locked? Dawn thought as the panic seized her. Only one thing had that strength.

"Hey, what's your problem?" Jess said, as he walked towards the figure in the doorway.

Dawn reached out for Jess. " Jess!" But her fingers caught air.

Dawn took a step forward, just as the figure lunged at Jess and threw him across the room. Jess made a grunt of surprise as he sailed across the room and hit the wall with such force, that he crumbled to the ground. Dawn's heart jumped up into her throat.

The figure leaped at her. Dawn managed a single scream before she was hit with a force that knocked her flying.

* * *

There was chaos on the main floor. Somehow most of the people had fled out onto the lawns in a panic from the power outage and mini earthquake. Buffy tried the door shortly afterwards and found themselves locked in.

"They put up a wall," Giles muttered in her ear.

"Well, thankfully some got out," Buffy said, as she huddled with Giles behind the large sofa in the reception room.

"Can you see anything?'

"No," Buffy whispered. " There's no one in here."

Just then Buffy heard a loud scream come from upstairs and her blood ran cold in her veins. Dawn!

"Was that?" Giles began.

"Dawn!" Buffy screamed, as she jumped from her hiding place. The moment she was in the opening, something hit her upside the face. Buffy reeled backwards, but Giles was there and caught her before she hit the ground.

Xander came flying from the other side of the room and jumped in front of Buffy. Always the protector. The figure laughed, as it tossed Xander aside as though he were nothing.

"Hey, you can't go throwing people around all willy nilly!" She said, aiming a punch at its head.

The vampire ducked and came up with a punch aimed at her ribcage. Buffy exhaled loudly as she was thrown backwards. As the vampire hovered over her, Buffy feigned unconsciousness. And as the vampire came closer, Buffy brought up a piece of debris from the broken table and plunged it into its undead heart.

Giles pulled Buffy to her feet. "Where did they go?" Buffy asked.

Giles looked around. " They are after someone in particular?"

"Dawn!" Buffy said, heading for the stairs.

"Buffy…."Giles said, quietly. Buffy turned and found Giles looking to the left of him. Buffy followed his glance and found Rory lying on the ground with about 7 vampires standing around her.

"What the…" Buffy began.

As Buffy took a step towards them, she felt another rumble below her feet. Buffy stumbled, but remained upright.

The vampires had begun to lift Rory, when the shifting ground caused them to pause a moment.

"Let her go!" Giles yelled. As though that would stop them.

The vampires smiled wickedly at him, as they stepped aside to reveal to figures just behind them. As a gust of wind began flowed through the dining room, papers were flung into the air and a bright gold light illuminated them.

As Buffy stared, the two figures emerged from the light. The whites of their eyes had taken over the pupil and the magic seemed to be flowing from them, as they stood over Rory. With a sudden horrifying clarity, Buffy found herself looking at Ashley and Brooke.

* * *

Kate's eyes widened in a mixture of fear and confusion as she stared at it. This couldn't be possible. She was seeing things.

"You look stunned," the figure said, amused.

"I….but how?"

"Don't you recognize me Kate?" It asked. " This is what you need to accept."

Kate shook her head in disbelief. "No, I…you can't."

Kate stared back at its face. She recognized the face immediately, how could she not? After all the years, the confusion and the worry; the face she stared into….was her own.

"This is what I need to accept?" Kate asked in disbelief. "A demon that looks like me."

"A demon who is you," it replied. " What you have to accept…is yourself. Who you really are. Will you come with me?"

Kate looked fleetingly back at Spike's unconscious form on the porch. Turning back to the demon, she nodded. "I will come with you."

* * *


	22. The Humanity Within

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

**Chapter 21**: The Humanity Within

**Disclaimer**: I don't own characters from Buffy or Gilmore Girls. I make no money for these stories. I write purely for your entertainment and my enjoyment.

A/N: For anyone that cares, I listened to Pink's newest cd "Nobody Knows" And Runaway" During this chapter. I listened to more upbeat songs at the beginning before those songs for anyone that wants to read along with the music.

* * *

He opened his eyes carefully. Each shard of light from the moon, felt like a thousand pins sticking into his eyes. With a groan, he began the task of testing each limb to see if anything had been broken. Whatever vampire had attacked him was unaware that he was a vampire too, or else he'd be dust.

If a human had taken the beating he had, they would be dead. Spike got to his feet slowly, leaning against the railing for support. The lights from the Inn were completely gone and the whole place was quiet.

He tried the door, but it was locked. He tried to summon all the strength he had, as he threw himself against the door over and over again. Spike crumbled to the ground, leaning against the door for support. Once again, he was unable to help. A shield that kept throwing him back every time he tried to get in surrounded the Inn.

Then he heard something off to the side of him. Peering into the darkness, he saw a slender silhouette moving towards him.

"Kate?!" He called, walking slowly towards it.

Kate stepped into the light, her face emotionless. Spike hurried over to her side. " Are you alright?" Spike asked.

Kate's face remained blank. " Yes. I am fine." She was aware of his voice, and yet it seemed so far away.

One moment she had faced herself and the next she was standing alone, as if it had never happened. It had been so like her. Every detail was there; from the black hair, green eyes, to the small freckle on her chin. Only there was something in the eyes. Hatred like none she'd ever seen before. How was she to accept that evil side of herself?

Spike studied her expression, but there was nothing there. " What happened Kate?"

"Nothing," she said. Then there seemed to be a spark of something, as she studied his face. His face looked swollen, even in the tiniest bit of light. " Are you alright?"

Spike smiled. " A little thrashed, but ok."

"What's happening?" she asked quietly. She said this more to herself than anything. She felt foggy, like she was watching herself from far away.

"The Inn seems to be surrounded by a magical shield. I don't know how many are inside. I heard some commotion earlier, but it seems quiet now. I figure we go through Red's stuff and try to find a spell or something to get inside."

"Ok."

"Luv, are you alright? Did something happen? I thought I saw someone with you earlier just before I passed out."

Kate shook her head. " No. I'm fine. We should go now." Somehow she would get the answers she so desperately craved. As if a whisper was carried to her in the wind, she felt as if the robed figure was watching her, promising to find her soon.

Spike wasn't convinced at all. Kate was a vehicle with no driver. It was as if there was nothing going on inside her at all. Her eyes looked completely blank and there was nothing in her expression. However, he wasn't going to get anything out of her right now, and Buffy and the scoobies could be in serious trouble. He had to get to Red's stash and find something to help them get inside.

* * *

" I knew it! I knew it was too good to be true!" Xander shouted at Brooke, as he half hid behind a large sofa. He pointed an accusing finger at her, as his voice took on a high-pitched shriek. " You better give me back that CD I loaned you!"

"Xander!" Buffy said in a loud whisper.

"What?! The girl I was seeing is a demon! Excuse me, if I am a little bit annoyed here." He shouted hysterically in Buffy's direction.

Just a Xander was about to say something else; a piece of table came flying towards his head. Without even breaking his speech, he ducked out of the way and the table hit the opposite end of the wall and broke into pieces.

"Well, isn't that fan-freakin'-tastic!!!" Xander yelled at Brooke. " I did my snoopy dance for you and you're throwing tables at me!!!"

He ducked again, as one sailed over his head, crashing into the wall a few inches from his head.

"Xander, shut up!" Buffy hissed, as she hid behind the sofa. " You are going to get yourself dead if you don't calm down."

"Why should I calm down?" Xander said, quieter now. " I am so going to become gay."

"Like men are so much better," Buffy muttered.

"Children, please," Giles said in a loud whisper. He leaned back against the sofa and rubbed his aching temples.

"What is going on?" came a voice.

Buffy looked up just in time to see Lorelai walk into the living room. Her face registered shock as she saw the scene in front of her. Her eyes scanned the room, trying to take in the wreckage.

"Lorelai, move!" Buffy shouted, even as she started to lunge towards her.

It was too late. A piece of debris aimed for Xander, hit Lorelai and knocked her flying into the opposite room. Buffy winced at the sound she made as she hit the floor. The anger began to boil inside of Buffy. This was crazy. She couldn't hide behind a sofa forever.

"We have to get Lorelai," Buffy whispered to Giles. "The vampires seem interested in her too."

On the count of three Giles and Buffy ran towards Lorelai, dodging the flying pieces of debris. Buffy grabbed one of Lorelai's hands and Giles grabbed the other as they dragged her towards the door, never breaking stride.

"Xander, get Dawn!" Buffy yelled.

Xander gave her a nod, before he ran for the stairwell. As Buffy and Giles half carried Lorelai, Brooke stood in front of them. Buffy stopped dead. "You don't want to do this."

For a moment, Brooke looked remorseful as she said. " I have to."

With a flick of her wrist, Buffy, Giles and Lorelai went flying into one of the pantry behind them. Buffy hit the wall hard, and crumpled to a heap on the floor. She took a knock to the back of her head and saw tiny stars in front of her eyes.

Brooke stood in the doorway. As Buffy met her eyes, Brooke smiled and then shut the door, locking them inside.

* * *

Spike and Kate stood in front of Willow's closet. Spike ran his fingers through his hair, exhaling an un-needed breath. "Who knew Red had so much magical gadgets?"

Kate nodded in silence. " She has a store in here. " The entire closet held several boxes of all shapes and colors, as well as a full sized dresser that held only a few articles of clothing. The rest appeared to a shrine to her practice.

With a sigh, she reached for something in one of the drawers. She pulled out something made a weird substance and pink in color. " I have seen a lot of magical tools, but this all looks so different. I mean, what's this for?"

Spike opened his mouth to say something and then stopped. Kate waved it around in front of his face. Spike tried to keep from laughing, as he jumped away from her wielding hand.

"Ah luv…that's not a magical tool…." Spike said, carefully.

"What is it then?" Kate asked, peering at it for a closer inspection. "Some kind of tool?"

"Ah…" Spike choked on a laugh. " It's a ……replacement tool. A pleasure tool, if you will."

"A pleasure…what?" Kate said with a frown. Then her thumb brushed a button and it began to vibrate along her palm. She gasped in surprise and giggled. Then she realized what he meant. " How do you get pleasure from… OH!" She practically threw the thing across the room. " Ewww…"

"Stop laughing!" Kate insisted, as she began to rummage, carefully, through Willow's closet. " You could have told me before I started waving it around."

"Guess you aren't as up to date yet, eh pet?" Spike chuckled. "Some things got lost in translation?"

Kate forcefully handed him a bag. " Here, hold this." She began to grab some charms, stones and books and tossed them into the bag.

"Do you know how to work this spell?" Spike asked, as he watched one item after the other get pitched into the bag.

"Only one way to find out," Kate muttered.

* * *

Buffy inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying desperately to calm herself. Lorelai was still unconscious and lying across Buffy and Giles' laps. At least with Lorelai down for the count, she didn't need to explain what was going on.

Buffy had tried to get them out for the last ten minutes, and the door still wouldn't budge. Brooke must have put a shield over the door as well.

"Do you think Xander got to Dawn?' Buffy whispered. She hadn't heard anything since Dawn's scream. That could mean a number of things. Hopefully Xander had reached her and moved her to safety.

"I think so," Giles said.

"That doesn't sound convincing," Buffy muttered. " What if they got her too? I'll never forgive myself if she's hurt."

"She's fought by your side before Buffy," Giles said. " She's good at taking care of herself. I'm sure she will be fine."

"You don't know that though," Buffy said. "I heard her scream Giles. I should have run up those stairs, killing everything in my way. But I saw Rory and the vampires and I stalled. And now, Dawn could be dead."

"Buffy…"

"No," Buffy whispered, interrupting him. " Don't try to make me feel better. You told me this would happen if I weren't prepared. You've told me before. But this time was different."

"Why was that Buffy?" Giles asked. His voice took on a soothing quality, which made Buffy feel like she could say anything.

Buffy felt the hot, salty sting of threatening tears, burn her eyes. With a quiet sniffle, she looked away, unable to meet his eyes even in the darkness. "Because…because if let myself believe you then it meant that it was real. When you sent us here, I just thought maybe it would be a couple of vampires, or something small. But if I let myself believe that it was worse…" Buffy broke off, feeling the pain beginning to consume her. She felt the rise and swell of emotion inside her and tried to calm it.

"If I let myself believe it was worse, then it would really mean that I wasn't done. It means that I will never be able to stop fighting. I will always have to fight. It isn't my calling anymore Giles, it's my destiny." She broke off then, searching for his eyes in the darkness. She found them in a small gleam of light and found that they were teary like her own.

" I have dreams too. I want things, just like everybody does. I want to be loved and feel loved. I don't want to live in the shadows watching others walk in the sun. I feel like I've become the thing I hunt. Angel once said to me that he can't take me into the light, and that I deserve to. So why am I still in the dark?"

With a heavy heart she pleaded, unable to stop the hot tears that coursed down her cheeks. "How is this all I am, Giles? How is this all I'll ever be? " Her heart felt like it was being squeezed until her chest physically hurt. And like so many times before, the moment she felt like she was about to fall, Giles pulled her into his arms.

"You have a strength that I have never seen in another person before, Buffy. You just need to find that again," Giles whispered against her hair. " I know you feel lost and afraid and I am truly sorry that this is the life you were given. I wish that I had the power to let you rest finally, to let you live the life you want. We have to work with what we were given. If you had your choice Buffy, I believe –no, I know—that you would fight, because you always choose the helpless over yourself. That doesn't make you a slayer, Buffy, that makes you one hell of a human. You talk of yourself as a killer. It's your humanity that fights Buffy, not a killer. I believe in you, I always have and I always will."

Buffy laid her head against the rough fabric of his coat. Giles wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as she cried her broken sobs.

* * *

Kate and Spike stood outside the Independence Inn, their bags at their sides. The Inn seemed larger than life, and deathly quiet. The forests around the Inn pretty much blocked out any light from the neighbouring town, and the moon had disappeared behind the clouds moments before. If it weren't for the smell of smoke, Kate wouldn't have even known if Spike was standing beside her anymore.

"Well, if that isn't ominous, I don't know what is," Kate muttered.

Spike inhaled deeply, sucking in the strong taste of nicotine. He held it in for a minute and then exhaled slowly, letting the smoke furl around his head.

"Must you?" Kate snapped, waving the smoke away from her face.

"I remember a time when we shared one of these after a good shag," Spike said, with a cocky smile on his face.

Kate rolled her eyes. " I remember a time when I got hung for 'said good shag'," she retorted bitterly.

"Point taken," Spike answered, as he tossed his smoke to the ground. He really must think his comments out before saying them, since she always seemed to have a negative response.

Kate set her bag down and started to pull out ingredients. Spike stood by, helping her when he could and staying away when she asked.

Kate set the candles in a circle and lit them one by one. Spike stood by and watched her ceremoniously speak a chant as she lit each one, before sitting in the center. Closing her eyes, she began a chant in Latin. Energy began to flow around the small circle, and Spike felt himself being pushed backwards.

The wind began to blow. Each flame seemed to be pulled by it's current, but refused to burn out. Kate kept her eyes shut and kept chanting. As the wind died down, so did the flames of the candles. Within seconds, it was all over.

Kate uncrossed her legs and let Spike pull her to her feet. " I think it worked."

"Yeah?" Spike asked. He walked up the porch steps and reached for the doorknob. The moment he tried to turn the knob, he was thrown threw the air. He flew a few feet before crashing into the snow at Kate's feet.

Kate looked down, amusement written all over her face. " I thought you said it worked luv?" Spike asked, as he stared up at her from the ground.

"Oh that? That was all for show," she said, with a chuckle.

Spike muttered something under his breath as he got to his feet. "Bloody hell," he muttered, as he wiped wet snow of his duster jacket. "No way I'm I going to get my deposit back for this bloody monkey suit now."

Kate smiled, giggling under her breath. She took a couple of steps forward, raised her right hand and waved it slowly in front of her. She held a green charm in her hand, and it lit up inside her palm. She said a couple of words, lowered her arm and turned to Spike.

Spike was bent over with his hands on his knees, glancing up at her. " That was it then?"

"Yep."

"You wave your hand in front of your bloody face, and the wall that has the ability to throw people like they were nothing, is gone?"

"Yes," Kate clarified with a simple nod of her head. She made a sweeping gesture with her arms as if to invite him to advance.

" Right then," Spike said simply. He headed for the front door.

"Spike?" Kate said, suddenly, a hint of worry in her voice.

Spike turned. " You should go through the window," Kate said, pointing upwards. " That one. I think Dawn's in trouble."

Spike's brow furrowed. He opened his mouth to ask how she would know, but the look on her face was all he needed. With a nod of his head, he grabbed onto the roof and pulled himself up.

With an, almost elegant grace, he made his way over the roof to the window that Kate had pointed too.

Spike peered into the window, but everything was so dark. Fortunately, his vampiric vision made it possible to pick out the form of someone lying on the floor. With a horrifying realization, Spike realized he was looking at Dawn.

"There's definitely something in there with them!" Spike shouted down to Kate. " You go in the front." Spike turned for confirmation, but found that Kate had disappeared. Again.

Pushing that from his mind, Spike managed to open the window with a limited amount of strength. He heard the frame groan in protest, but managed to pop it right out of the frame. Spike stepped inside the room, scanning it for vampires. Whatever had been here had already left.

The metallic, sweet smell of blood wafted through the air, and Spike felt his stomach groaned in hunger. He hadn't had anything to eat in so long, the smell was overwhelming. However, the sight of Dawn seemed to make that go away.

He dropped to his knees beside her, and felt around for a pulse. It was faint, but it was there. Spike pulled her into his arms and lifted her. "Come on nibblet. Open your eyes." Spike whispered.

He sat on the edge of the bed, cradling her in his arms. Dawn's head lulled back, a low groan coming from the back of her throat. Her eyelids flickered and then opened. Her face scrunched up in pain, as her eyes began to scan the room.

"Get away from me!" She croaked, struggling against his hold on her.

Spike held on tighter. " Dawn, it's Spike," he reassured her. At the sound of his voice, he felt Dawn relax.

"Jess?" She whispered.

"No, Spike," he repeated.

Dawn raised her head slowly. " I know that. I'm concussed, not deaf," she groaned. " Is Jess ok?"

Spike looked around the room for someone else. Sure enough, there was an unconscious guy in the corner. " You mean James Dean over there?" Spike whispered.

A flicker of a smile crossed Dawn's lips. " Is he…ok?" she asked.

Spike saw Jess's chest rise and fall with each breath. "Yeah. Fat lot of good that did you nibblet," Spike said, as he looked over the deep cuts on her face.

"He tried to stop him," Dawn groaned. " Give him a break. It's not like he has super powers like you."

"Well isn't he all manly," Spike joked. " I'm not even going to ask what you two were doing in a room alone together."

"Much appreciated," Dawn moaned. " I think I am going to be sick."

"I have to go downstairs Dawn, I'm just going to set you on the bed ok?"

Dawn clutched onto him tighter. " Don't leave me along again. What if he comes back?"

"Hey, I won't let that happen," Spike insisted. " I have to go help the slayer. I will come back."

Dawn had already passed out again, when Spike laid her on the bed. He was just about to leave, when he caught sight of Jess again. With a sigh, Spike picked Jess up and set him on the bed too. He looked scornfully at the young boy, not even letting himself think what that boy had been doing to his nibblet. Then he caught himself. When had he become that guy?

As he stepped into the darkened hall, his foot brushed against a prone figure on the floor. Peering closer, he saw Xander laying face down with his arm outstretched, as if could unaware as he reached the door handle.

"Well done, Harris," Spike muttered under his breath, as he pulled him into the room with Dawn and Jess.

* * *

Buffy sat with her head buried in her knees. She hugged her legs to her chest. She and Giles hadn't talked in a few minutes. After she calmed herself, she had pulled herself up in a ball and tried to quiet the voice in her head. There were too many things going through her head. What Giles had said, calmed her for a while. He'd given her strength and conviction of self. And with that blessing, she wanted to kick some vampire ass.

She had to get out of here. She couldn't sit here a minute more. People could be dying on the other side of this door and she was sitting in the dark, thinking about her problems.

Just then the door swung open. Buffy squinted as light came flooding in. _When had the Inn's lights turned back on,_ she wondered?

"What are you doing in a closet, Slayer?" Spike asked, with an amused expression on his face.

Buffy frowned. " How did you get in?"

"Kate lifted the spell." Spike explained.

At the mention of Kate's name, Giles and Buffy got to their feet and stumbled from the confines of the pantry.

"Where is she?" Giles demanded.

"She's ….somewhere around here," Spike said. Giles glared at him. " I don't know where she went Rupert. She lifted the spell and then vanished."

Giles swore under his breath. "We will find her Giles, " Buffy said quickly. "What about Dawn?"

"She got knocked around a bit," Spike said. At the look of pain on Buffy's face, Spike placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. " She's alright though. She's laying down upstairs. Tall, dark and Cyclops is resting in the room as well."

There didn't seem to be anybody left in the Inn. It looked like the aftermaths of a huge storm. She couldn't imagine any amount of magic being able to fix this place up. Huge chunks were missing from the pillars, every piece of furniture was in pieces and there was debris everywhere.

The strings of Christmas lights were busted and broken over the floor; the Christmas tree had seen better days and the wreaths were in pieces on the floor.

Buffy heard a groan off to the side. Xander came stumbling down the stairs holding his hand over the lump on her forehead. " Bloody women," he muttered.

"What's with him?" Spike asked.

"His girlfriend appears to be evil," Buffy explained with a sigh.

"Again?" Spike asked. He tried to look sympathetic, but truthfully it just struck him as funny.

"Shut it fang boy," Xander muttered. " What happened in here?"

"Your girlfriend happened. And Willow's. Where is Willow?" Buffy asked. She hadn't seen Willow since this all happened.

"Willow's in here!" came a muffled reply from behind another door.

Buffy pulled the door opened and stared into the tear stained face of her best friend. " Will, are you ok?"

"Yeah, aside from the fact my friggin' evil girlfriend went all Carrie and locked me in a closet!" Willow exclaimed. " We are so breaking up."

"I'm sorry Will," Buffy said. Her friend was joking through the pain, but Buffy was her best friend, and she knew that Willow was deeply hurt.

Willow straightened her clothing, wiping off bits of dust off her dress. " She locked me in a closet?" She said again, more in disbelief. " I spent a long time trying to get out of it."

Xander snorted. Willow shot him a withering look. " Nothing out of you Xand."

Buffy looked around her in disbelief. " We planned this so hard. And now vampires have attacked, two of your girlfriends and freaking' evil, my sister is unconscious and my boss is lying in a closet. This wasn't even on our worse case scenario list," Buffy added, glibly.

"Buffy…" Giles said, a hint of warning edging on his voice.

"What, I can't pun now? Punning gets me through this," Buffy said. "Now where is Rory?"

A loud scream answered the last question. The group took off towards the scream. The ended up standing in the back gardens, under the moonlight. A group of vampires were attempting to take Rory somewhere.

"There's the vampires," Buffy whispered. " So where are….."

"Right behind you," came the reply.

The group turned collectively and found Ashley and Brooke standing behind them. The group had unknowingly positioned themselves between them and the vampires.

Before any of them could say a thing, Ashley and Brooke joined hands. Just as their hands joined, a crack of thunder exploded through the air. The hands that weren't joined, shot out and a ray of white light shot from their open palms. The group dove for the ground as the white light shot over their hands.

Buffy covered her hand, as she squinted to see what was happening. The whole sky seemed to light up as if it were daytime. Ashley and Brooke's eyes were completely white and their hair flew behind them as if they were in a windstorm.

Only Ashley and Brooke weren't focusing their attention on her or her friends. Buffy glanced over her shoulder towards Rory. Buffy heard the screams before she saw the source. And then she watched in disbelief, as the vampires began to explode into dust, one by one.

When every last vampire was gone, Rory lay unconscious on the grass. Buffy hurried to her side and felt for a pulse. It was there. She was alive.

The group turned and stared at the two women in front of them, unable to understand what had just happened.

"One question," Xander said to Brooke. " Where you always an evil being, or did something in me bring it out?" He added sarcastically.

"Xander," Buffy hissed, smacking him upside the head.

"Owww…bumps on head Buffy!" He groaned.

"So you weren't going to kill us?" Buffy asked.

Brooke and Ashley looked at each other. " Hey, there's no use keeping the secret now," Buffy said. " We aren't blind. We saw what you just did."

"I knew no human could bend like that," Xander muttered under his breath.

"We aren't here to kill," Ashley said. " You know, besides the vampires."

Brooke smiled. " We're here to protect."

"Us?" Buffy asked. " Cause locking us in a closet and throwing us around the room doesn't scream protection."

"We had to keep you away. The vampires were given powers that could kill you quicker than any vampire you've faced yet." Brooke explained.

"So you are here to protect all of us?" Xander asked.

"No. Just one." Brooke answered.

"And that would be?" Kate asked.

Brooke looked at Ashley. Ashley nodded. "Her." Brooke said, pointing.

They turned to follow where she was pointing. There was a collective silence of surprise as they realized Brooke had been pointing at Rory.

* * *


	23. Checkmate

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow 

**Chapter 22**: Checkmate

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters or rights to Gilmore Girls or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I make no money for these stories. I write them for you enjoyment and mine.

* * *

"Order, Order! Please, will every body just settle down? Ladies and gentleman, I know that you are worried over the events of last night's incident at the Independence Inn, but I can assure you that everything will be all right."

And so, began Taylor's desperate plea to call order to the crowd that gathered at Miss Patty's dance hall. It was far from a typical Stars Hollow meeting, given the events of the previous night.

The police had been called, but considering that the police consisted of one man and his bicycle, most of the burglars (this is the story they were running with) had fled. Police from the nearest town were dispatched as well, but the only thing they found was a couple employees and their friends, stumbling from the wreckage in party attire.

In a small town, word usually spread quickly. When two of those residents happen to be Miss Patty and Babette, word spread at the speed of light.

"I bet it was those Emerson boys," Gypsy shouted, shaking her fist. " I caught them sneaking equipment from my garage just the other day."

"Hey, those are my children you're blaming," Mrs. Emerson, piped up. " My children would never break into the Inn!"

"They broke my window," Luke answered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"They were at their grandmother's that night," Mrs. Emerson spat back, shooting a dirty look at Luke.

"They stole Mrs. Kim's jesus mailbox," someone shouted from the back of the room.

"They broke Luke's window," Kirk shouted.

"Yeah, I covered that Kirk," Luke muttered.

Kirk patted Luke's shoulder reassuringly. " I got you covered Luke."

"You're touching me, Kirk. Don't touch me." Luke added.

"People please!" Taylor said, banging his gavel against the podium in some attempt to restore order.

"What if they come back?" Babette asked.

This started a fresh mummer throughout the crowd. The voices rose in panic and worry as they tried to place the blame on something tangible. A faceless threat was much worse than something they could put a face to.

Taylor continued to bang his gavel, trying to calm everyone, but this only made people talk louder above the noise. Luke shook his head, as he slid down in his chair, pulling his baseball cap down over his eyes.

Everyone was shouting so loud that no one noticed the person who had just stepped through the door. The person wore a baseball cap low over their face, and wore a black parka to hide better in the shadows.

Reaching into the large pockets, the figure produced a small charm. Speaking quietly, a small incantation was muttered. A hum of energy flowed through the room. No one would notice with all the commotion going on.

Next, the figure reached into the other pocket and pulled out a small velvet bag. They scooped a handful of the sand like substance inside, and carefully withdrew their hand. The figure bent forward, blowing the sand softly from their palm. The sand billowed out in the cloud, coating the crowd quickly.

The mummer died down. Everyone took their seat and faced the front. Taylor paused, just before bringing the gavel down again. He blinked rapidly, as though his vision were just clearing. Taking a deep breath, he tried to re-focus himself.

"Uh, yes. I call the meeting to order. First piece of business is the hanging of mistletoe around the town square," Taylor began. " Kirk has brought it to my attention, that he has written down every location of the mistletoe, but some townspeople have decided to move them to some inconvenient places. The hanging of mistletoe shouldn't be done in the middle of an intersection people!! This could cause serious accidents…"

* * *

" Honeys I'm home," Willow called, as she shut the door behind her. She pushed the baseball cap off and shook out her curls. Tossing the keys in the dish, she turned the corner and found the scoobies sitting together in the living room.

"How did everything go?" Buffy asked, sliding over so that Willow could take a seat between her and Dawn.

"Most of Stars Hollow is clueless once again," Willow answered. "We are going to have to somehow be more discreet or tell them, because this amount of memory tampering is going to lead to some serious damage."

"As long as you stick to small increments of time, everything should be fine," Giles answered, as he cleaned his glasses.

"True," Willow agreed, nodding her head. " But still. We don't even really know what the side effects are. "

"Well, we will try and keep the memory tampering to a minimum," Buffy said.

"So what is the story with what happened at the Inn?" Dawn asked. " I mean the Inn was pretty seriously demolished. What is the cover story for that?"

"Well, Willow's done the memory spell on everyone that was there," Buffy explained. " And another spell to return the Inn to its original state. The only one injured was Lorelai, and I just told her that she got drunk and fell."

"And she believed that?" Dawn asked.

"I can be very convincing," Buffy said, with a secretive smile.

"What about Kate?" Giles asked. " Has anyone heard from her since last night?"

Everyone looked down guiltily. Twice they had left her slip through their fingers, and who knew if she was going to come back this time. Giles seemed too exhausted to work himself into a rage over the whole thing, and Buffy couldn't be more appreciative of that.

Spike crossed his legs, sifting uncomfortably in his chair. On impulse he went to reach for his pack of cigarettes, but Buffy shook her head, and he let his hand fall back onto his lap.

"The silence speaks volume in this case," Giles sighed, as he resumed his pose, leaning against the mantel.

"I have a more interesting question in mind," Xander said, staring down at his hands. "What the hell is up with Brooke and Ashley? How do they play into this?"

Willow shook her head, shrugging her shoulders.

"Did anyone hear from them?" Dawn asked. She realized this was an incredibly touchy subject, but she was as curious as everyone to figure this one out.

"Brooke has called a couple of time, but I haven't answered," Xander said quietly.

Willow's head snapped up. " Brooke called you?" she exclaimed.

Xander saw the look of pain on his best friend's face, and nodded slowly. It was too late to take it back now.

"Maybe she just thinks you're mad," Dawn offered.

"I am mad!" Willow said. " She lied to me. She used me. I…I don't even know what that was, but it doesn't look like she's in a hurry to explain it to me."

"On the bright side Xand, at least Brooke isn't a demon," Dawn said, patting Xander on the back.

"Thanks Dawnie," Xander said, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"We need to find Kate," Giles said; in hopes to bring the conversation back around.

" What about the diner?" Buffy asked.

"She's not there. Hasn't been there all night," Spike said.

"Anyone check Luke's place?" Dawn asked.

"What are you getting at nibblet?" Spike asked, trying to remain cool in light of that suggestive comment.

Dawn blushed. Shrugging, she stammered her explanation. " I…It's..Sorry Spike, I just mean that Kate and Luke looked pretty close at the party last night and she was his date. Maybe, they….you know, went back to his place."

Spike shook his head, and looked down at the floor. Dawn went to say something comforting, but couldn't find the words. It was a real possibility, of course, but that didn't' mean it didn't hurt Spike's feelings.

"Maybe we should check Luke's," Willow said. "Buffy, do you have his number?"

"No, I'll look it up."

Buffy reached for the side table, but a voice stopped her. "Wow, all this trouble just for me?"

Everyone turned and found Kate standing in the doorway. She was still wearing her dress from the party, which meant that Dawn's suggestion was a real possibility after all. Kate looked around the room nervously, obviously wishing she were anywhere but here.

Everyone sort of looked at one another as if daring the other to speak first. Even Spike, who in the past would have started something, remained silent and brooding. If fact, Kate realized with surprise, Spike hadn't even looked up when she had come in.

"Umm.." Kate began, gesturing behind her. " The door was open. I didn't think anyone heard me."

Finally, Buffy had the courage to say something. " Hey Kate," she said, cheerfully. " We were just talking about you."

Willow shot her a look, but Buffy just shrugged. Well, they were, Buffy thought. It wasn't like Kate didn't hear them.

"I figured," Kate said, smiling nervously as she twisted her hands together.

" Are you going to come in? Or become a hallway fixture?" Buffy said, with an easy smile.

Kate attempted a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Actually I wanted to talk to you," she said, looking past Buffy to Giles, who was still leaning against the mantel.

Buffy followed her glance, and her eyes widened in surprise. " Giles?"

Kate nodded. Giles pulled himself from the mantel, making a gesture to for her to follow him. Kate cast another glance around the group and then followed Giles.

Once they left the room, everyone sat in a stunned silence. " And the plot thickens," Xander muttered.

* * *

Kate stepped onto the back porch, and wrapped her jacket around herself to keep out the cold. Giles seemed unfazed by the cold, as he pulled out a seat for her. Kate smiled as she sat down and waited for him to sit, before speaking.

"You are Mr. Giles right?" she said.

"Yes," he said, shaking her extended hand. " Everyone just calls me Giles."

"Ok. Giles." Kate stared down at her folded hands.

"Is there something you want to tell me? Ask me?" Giles asked. Clearly, he wanted to ask her something. However, he asked her in such a calm way, that she wondered if he cared to know anything at all.

Kate nodded her head. " From the little bit I know, I figure you are the leader of things."

Giles smiled. " Well, I am the watcher. Buffy's guide. Buffy is pretty much the leader these days. Not that the girl doesn't need guidance still." Giles added the last part under his breath.

"So you pretty much know what's going on?" Kate asked. " I mean you know that there is a threat? That something bad is coming?"

"Yes." Giles answered, just as calmly as before.

"Ok. Good. Because I have been walking around since the party, I didn't know where to go or what to do. Or what was looking for me. I walked past this house a dozen times tonight, unsure if I was welcome. But I saw you at the party and….you, you have kind eyes. I know that sounds so stupid, listen to me. I am babbling. I guess I just felt like, maybe, I could tell you things."

Kate took a breath, trying to formulate the ramblings in her head into coherent thought. After several minutes of silence, Giles reached across and lay his hand over hers.

"You can tell me," he said warmly.

The feeling of a reassuring hand on hers made tears well up in her eyes. Everything was just so messed up. And all she kept asking herself was how could things have gotten so bad?

"I think…" Kate began. She sniffled. Giles squeezed her hand.

"Kate, things are really hard right now. I don't know you very well, and from what I can gather about your past, you've had a hard time of things. If you want me to, I will keep this between you and I."

Kate nodded, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "Ok." She lifted her tear streaked face and with a breath, she tried to remain as calm as possible.

Staring directly into his eyes, she said. " I think I've done something really bad."

* * *

Willow set down the tray and began to pass out the coffee mugs. Buffy sighed loudly as she kicked her legs up on the coffee table. " Where the hell is Giles? He's been out there for, like, half an hour now!?"

Willow shrugged. " Maybe it's a secret meeting."

Buffy slapped her shoulder. " Funny Will."

Willow rested her chin on her open palm, as she began to dump spoonful after spoonful of sugar into her mug.

"Ah, Will?" Xander said. "Do you want a little coffee with your sugar?"

Willow looked up, realizing what she had been doing. With a loud sigh, she pushed her mug away with the tips of her fingers. " I wasn't thinking," she said. " I am a little distracted."

"Yeah, I hear you."

Just then they heard the back door slide open, and then close. "Giles?" Buffy called out.

"Yes," he answered, as he entered the living room.

"Where's Kate?" Dawn asked.

"She went home," Giles said.

"Sure, it's fine when he let's her out of his sights. When we do, we don't hear the bloody end of it." Spike mumbled.

"As much as I hate to say it, I agree with Spike," Buffy said. "What happened to keeping her in our sights the whole time."

" I dealt with it," Giles said sternly. The tone in his voice stopped any protests from the group.

"Ok." Buffy said. He dealt with it? What was that supposed to mean? He had been out there with Kate for over half an hour and he wasn't going to say anything to them?

Giles grabbed a folder from the table, and went to join the group. He took a seat in the armchair, so that he could face everyone.

"In light of recent events, we know that things are getting worse. It's not staying in the dark waiting for an opening, it's acting now. Some things are already been put into play," Giles began. " Obviously, that is why you were sent here."

Giles looked back at his folder, and then back up to the undivided attention of the group.

"Buffy, when we fought The First, and you retrieved the scythe you met a Guardian," Giles said.

"Yes," Buffy said, remembering back. " There was the slayer, and the watchers who came before them. And before the watchers there were the Guardians. The oldest of the old. If I remember right."

"Quite right," Giles said, wit ha nod. "They are the guardians of all things. There are few who exist now."

"But, the women I met said she was the last," Buffy said.

"When the Guardians were attacked, the Powers That Be stepped in and hid a few Guardians away. They didn't tell anyone that they had, so that it would remain a secret. She said she was the last Buffy, because she believed she was. They have been saved for the prophecy."

"Oh good, another prophecy," Spike mumbled.

Giles shot him a look, warning him to keep quiet. " There are three stages before this final prophecy. Think of it as a giant chessboard. Instead of coming right out with a battle, they wage one battle to gain something useful, so that even if they lose the battle, they could win the war."

He continued. " Battle one was with the First. It was after the Slayer and the scythe. But when Buffy retrieved the scythe for herself and used it to make all the potential slayers—slayers, it defeated the purpose of killing the one chosen one. Battle Two was using Wolfram and Hart to try and turn Angel evil. If he had joined together with the Beast then together they would have been powerful assets. But when Angel killed the Beast and fought against Wolfram and Hart—it lost again."

Everyone sat in silence. Buffy tried to think back on everything that happened. " So it wasn't just a big bad, it was all leading up to something. It is still leading up to something."

Giles nodded. Buffy shook her head in disbelief. " Why didn't I see this?"

"Because each battle has been inclusive, individual, each one stood alone and was there for one thing. But this has been set in motion from the very beginning Buffy. Everything in between was just one trial after the other. All the slayers, the vampires and demons; It all lead to this time. To this year. To this Slayer."

"So what is happening here is battle number 3?" Willow asked. "Sunnydale, L.A. And now Stars Hollow."

Giles nodded.

"And even if we won the first two, they could still win the war?" Buffy asked.

Giles nodded again.

"So that means that if they get what they want now, then…" Buffy trailed off, unable to say it.

"Checkmate," Xander offered.

"That about sums it up," Giles said, rubbing his brow with the pad of his thumb. A headache was beginning all over again. "This battle means a lot. You must understand this. If they win this one, they will win the war without even trying. If they lose, they will still fight the war, but at least we have a fighting chance. We have been tested, we have been tried and we haven't even begun."

"When does the prophecy say this Great War is going to happen?" Buffy asked, although she didn't really want to know the answer.

"A year, two years," Giles said.

"All battles will have taken place within seven years," Buffy said. "There's that number again."

"It's a magical number," Willow said offhandedly

"So, do you have any good news for us, oh wise one?" Xander said with mock enthusiasm.

"Yeah Giles," Buffy added with a pout," Can you shine some ray of hope on this?"

Giles smiled. "They have set this in motion from the beginning as I've said. But so have we."

Xander threw his arms up in the air. " Thank god! Ok, so give us the inside scoop."

"You are such a ponce," Spike said.

Giles chose to ignore the bickering and continued. " We have been setting things in motion since the beginning as well, to try and stop them from getting what they need. One thing was the hiding the remaining Guardians."

"Well bring on the Guardians!" Buffy said. " Come on, give us some more good guys."

Giles couldn't help but suppress a smile that time. " Well, I am glad to here that." He reached into his pocket and pulled out, what seemed to be, a pocket watch.

"Hey this is 2007, haven't you gone digital yet?" Buffy quipped.

Giles frowned. "I'm ignoring that." He flipped the watch open and hit the dial on the side. Suddenly the room seemed to be filled with thousands of fireflies. Tiny gold and silver lights drifted throughout the room before floating towards the doorway. They swirled rapidly around and around as they began to take form.

Everyone watched as the forms began to shape and elongate until the lights disappeared and two women appeared.

"You have got to be kidding me!?" Xander blurted out before he could stop himself.

One of the women smiled sheepishly at him. "Well I had to get your attention somehow, you didn't answer my calls."

"Ashley and Brooke, if those are your real names, are the Guardians?" Buffy said, her eyes darting between them and Giles.

Ashley nodded. " Guilty as charged."

Xander shook his head. " So…not a demon. But a supreme being of good." He said this more to himself, than anyone else in the room. "Well that has to be some kind of improvement right?"

Dawn nodded supportively.

"What a second," Buffy said, deep in thought. " You opened your watch thingy, and these two girls orbed into the room. Which, color me confused, only leaves one conclusion." She turned then and looked accusingly at Giles. " You knew who they were the whole time."

Willow paled. " Our first date. The person on the phone. The call that you had to take, that was Giles wasn't it?"

Ashley nodded.

Buffy shook her head. " So much for your philosophy on being honest. You knew who they were."

"I was the one who sent them here," Giles said. He took off his glasses and cleaned them with the handkerchief from his pocket.

"Where's Kate then?" Spike asked.

"I can't tell you right now," Giles answered.

Spike jumped off the couch, and in one quick movement he lunged for Giles. Buffy got to Spike before he could raise an arm, and tackled him to the ground.

"Where is she?!?!" Spike shouted. " What did you do to her?"

Giles seemed unfazed by Spike's display. "She came to me for help Spike. I've given it to her. She doesn't want you to know right now. She wanted to keep it between the two of us, and for now, I will do that."

Buffy let Spike back up. "Giles, what's going on? I feel like we're coming in at the end of the story here. In Rome you were nowhere close to figuring this stuff all out. How do you suddenly know so much? What else haven't you been telling us?"

"I will explain everything Buffy, I promise. There were things I couldn't tell you, no matter how I wish I could have. Some things had to stay quiet, just in case. I have something to do right now. But I will return later tonight."

"Let me guess," Buffy said, her hand on her hips. " You can't tell us where you are going."

"I'm sorry," Giles said sincerely. " I will explain when I get back. Until then, please make sure Ashley and Brooke feel welcome here. They can help clarify matters while I am gone."

Giles grabbed his coat, grabbed Buffy's car keys and headed out. Everyone stood quietly by, feeling as awkward as they looked.

Brooke looked at Ashley, who just shrugged. Brooke turned to the group and smiled. "So, where should we start?"

* * *

Giles stepped out onto the porch and breathed in the cool night air. He stood there for a minute and then a smile spread over his face. " You can come out now, they won't see you."

A figure to the right of him stepped out from the shadows where she stood. Kate stood awkwardly. " I just couldn't deal with them right now."

Giles gestured for her to follow him. His shoes crunched over the freshly fallen snow, with Kate following behind. He unlocked the car and held the door for her. Giles got into the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition.

As the car roared to life, Giles cranked the heat as he waited for the car to heat up. Giles turned the radio down as he shifted in his seat to look at Kate.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked.

"You ask as if I have a choice," Kate said, with a sad smile.

"It's the only way to know Kate," Giles assured her. " You don't want to live in the dark forever."

Kate choked on a laugh. " I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm just scared. I'm scared that I have done something horrible. I feel it Giles. It's like this bug that's crawling just under my skin."

"I don't know what to say," Giles said honestly.

"You could say that I have nothing to be scared of," Kate said, hopefully.

Giles opened his mouth to say something, but that better of it. As he threw the jeep into drive, he turned onto the main road. Kate wrapped her arms around herself. "That's what I thought," she said under her breath.

Within minutes they turned onto the highway. Just ahead of them, lit with torches, was the sign. " Thanks for Visiting Stars Hollow. Please come again."

Hopefully, Kate could return back here as the sign urged her, but the question was. What would she be returning as?


	24. The Vow

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 23: The Vow**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters from Gilmore Girls or BTVS. I make no money from these stories. I write purely for you enjoyment and mine.

**A/N**: There is a couple of flashback scenes. Flashbacks are in italics. Also when you see the name Kate in the flashback I am talking about the current Kate. When you read Katya, it is that past Katya and her thoughts. This makes no sense now, but will when you read the flashbacks.

* * *

Once Giles had left, Buffy had returned to her room long enough to change into her p.j.'s and wash up. She was tired and sore, and didn't really feel like having a long discussion tonight. However time seemed to be, as always, running out. So she would sit patiently by as she listened to how Giles had kept her in the dark and she would ask all the appropriate questions.

Downstairs, Willow and Dawn made coffees or teas for everyone and they prepared to have a sit down with Brooke and Ashley. Brooke had attempted to sit next to Xander, but he seated himself between Willow and Dawn, before she had that chance. Clearly, he wasn't too thrilled about being lied to.

Ashley, seeing this display, took a seat in a vacant armchair, and didn't attempt to sit next to Willow at all. To say that tensions were running high would be an understatement. Giles had let a big secret out and then disappeared before they even had time to react. And now they were sitting with each other, waiting for the other to start.

Buffy entered the living room and felt the tension wash over her immediately. With nowhere else to sit, she grabbed a mug of coffee off the table, and slid in beside Spike. Spike was sitting in an oversized armchair, but Buffy decided that there was enough room to squeeze beside him. Spike made a noise, as he attempted to shift to allow her room.

" Oh, did you want to sit here?" Spike said sarcastically.

Buffy wiggled her hips to make more room, pushing Spike into the side of the armchair, with a smile on her lips. She threw her legs over Spike's and pulled a blanket over her lap.

"Comfy?" Spike said sarcastically.

"Very much, thanks," Buffy said, with a big grin on her face. The childish grin was too much, and Spike found himself grinning back. No matter what happened, Buffy always had such a pull on his emotions. No matter how stern he tried to be, sometimes in smiled in spite of himself, when she'd look at him like that. They would have a connection forever, and that was oddly comforting.

Buffy didn't care if snuggling up to Spike was a little odd. She didn't care if people were staring at her wondering what she was doing. Hell, she didn't even care if Spike was wondering what she was doing. Though, knowing Spike, any excuse to have a girl pressed up against him wasn't something he'd question.

The thing was, crap had happened. Unadulterated crap. And in moments of absolute, unadulterated crap a women needed comfort. Once before had she asked Spike to comfort her in the non-horizontal sense of the word. And she had felt so comforted in that moment, and she hoped to recreate it now.

"So," Buffy began, after a large gulp of coffee. " There are so many things going on. So let's just start with this. What does Rory Gilmore have to do with anything?"

Brooke looked relieved that someone else started the conversation. "Rory is a very important person."

"Der," Dawn muttered under her breath.

"Dawn," Buffy said, with a warning tone. Dawn looked away but kept her mouth shut. This family was the only one she had. Spike, Giles, Willow, Buffy and Xander were the most important people in her life, and she didn't like people who hurt them. Brooke and Ashley had hurt Willow and Xander, and because of that; they weren't her favorite people in the world right now.

It was too bad, up until now she'd really liked Brooke. Ashley, she didn't really know that well.

"How is she so important?" Buffy asked Brooke.

"She is a chosen one of a different kind," Brooke explained. " Before you turned all potentials into slayers, she was to be the next in line if Faith died. However, she was a different kind of slayer. Because of the prophecy, she would be endowed with stronger powers, including magic."

"An uber slayer?" Xander asked.

Brooke nodded. " Yes. But she would also be given the powers that came with being a Guardian."

"So Rory was not only to be the next slayer, but a need breed of Guardians?" Willow said.

Both Brooke and Ashley nodded this time. " We are the only Guardians left, we had to make sure our line would go on," Ashley explained. "A girl would be chosen to be the next Guardian, when the key would appear."

"The Key?" Buffy asked.

Dawn paled. " A key? Another Key? I'm not that Key am I? Cause I have been there, done that and it wasn't so much fun the first time around."

Ashley smiled. "No Dawn, you're not the key. You wouldn't know the Key if you saw it."

"Do you know who the key is?" Buffy asked.

Brooke clarified. "It's why Giles sent us here."

Buffy sighed. Giles. Of course Giles knew. Giles seemed to know a lot these days, she thought to herself. And he didn't seem to be big with sharing these days either.

"So that means," Buffy said after a moment. " That the key is in Stars Hollow?"

"Kate's the key!" Dawn said, beaming at her conclusion.

"No, she's not." Brooke answered. " But good guess."

"Then who?" Buffy wondered out loud.

* * *

Kate had been staring out the window for over an hour now. She had watched the landscape rush by, and the joy of driving in a car had disappeared about 50 minutes ago. She hadn't had anything to eat and her stomach was starting to churn.

She wondered if she was the type to get carsick. She almost laughed to herself with that thought. It was weird to wonder what kind of person you were. Having no memory of the last one hundred years was a strange concept to grasp. What kind of person was she? Was she the type to get carsick? Did you prefer dogs to cats? Was she good or evil? You know, all the normal things one would think about.

Near the beginning she had told Giles her story about her first meeting with Spike that eventually lead to her "death", that had only lasted a couple of minutes and then the silence began.

It was the kind of silence, where both people are aware of the fact they aren't talking. Yet, so much time had gone by, neither was sure of what to say or how to start. So the quiet drifted longer.

Kate rubbed her stomach, hoping to ease the nausea that rose in waves. Giles looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Just a little car sick," Kate said. " All the pot holes aren't helping."

Giles smiled. " I am trying to stay clear of them, but this is a really rough road."

Kate cracked a window and lay back against her seat, as she closed her eyes. It wasn't until she closed her eyes that she realized just how tired she was. She couldn't remember the last time she had a decent nights sleep.

Another thirty minutes past, before Giles pulled the car over on the side of the road and turned off the ignition.

Kate opened her eyes and looked around her. She couldn't see much. There was a lamppost a couple feet ahead and that was the only light she could see. Beside her was a thicket of forest. The whole thing had an ominous feel to it. Being brought to a dark forest was one thing, but being brought here by someone she barely knew, was a worse feeling.

Kate laughed nervously. " You aren't bringing me out here to kill me are you?"

Giles smiled. " No. The Guide is a recluse. Her place is secluded and cloaked."

Kate nodded, taking a deep breath. " I'm taking a lot on faith here."

Giles nodded. " We all are, Kate."

Giles retrieved a duffel bag (which only added to the ominous feeling) and two flashlights from the back of the car. Kate waited by the side of the car, shuffling from one foot to the other as she tried to keep out of the wind. It was colder here, if that was possible, and her teeth were chattering.

Giles put a hand on the small of her back as he led her into the small opening in the trees. Kate held the flashlight in her shaky grip, as she pushed branches out of the way with her other hand. The trees had prevented a large amount of snow from settling on the ground, which made it a lot easier to walk through.

They walked with only the sounds of cracking branches and the distant sound of running water to break the silence. For several minutes they walked, weaving through the trees as they headed deeper into the forest.

Kate assumed that Giles knew where he was going, because there didn't seem to be a path anywhere in site. There were no noticeable landmarks or anything around them.

"Here we are," Giles said finally, as he stopped quickly. " Do you feel that?"

Kate was silent as she tried to feel whatever Giles was talking about. Reaching out her hand, she felt like she was pushing against a vent. It was as if she could feel a small pocket of air moving against the palm of her hand.

"Yes," she whispered.

Giles reached out his hand without a word. Kate didn't need to ask, as she slipped her hand into his. With a nod of his head he stopped forward, tugging gently on her hand for her to follow.

In a fraction of a second, they seemed to step out of the frigid night air and into a home. Kate was dumbstruck as she found herself standing in a small little living room. Actually, it looked like a little cottage from the inside. All the furniture looked decades old and comfortable, a small fire was burning in the fireplace, and the walls were wood. There was a faint smell of vanilla incense in the air and…cookies?

From what she saw, there didn't appear to be anyone home. Just then, a woman strolled into the living room carrying a tray of cookie. That explained the cookie smell, anyway.

The most surprising thing was that the women didn't seem at all surprised to see two people standing in her living room.

"Hello Ayla," Giles said, as he took the tray of cookie off her.

Ayla, the wise Guide was named Ayla? Kate thought. She was picturing some wise old women who walked with a slight hunch and was missing most of her teeth. This woman looked to be in her mid thirties, about five feet tall and seemed to have all her teeth intact.

"Hello," Ayla said warmly, as she turned to face Kate. "And you must be Kate."

Kate nodded as she shook the hand that was offered to her. " I would say nice to meet you, but I don't know what you are about to tell me."

Ayla laughed loudly and it caused Kate to jump. It was a huge, warm laugh for such a tiny women.

Ayla took off her apron and threw it over the back of the old brown sofa. "Please, sit down. I have tea and cookies ready."

She took Giles and Kate's coats and threw them over the sofa as well, before they took all their seats.

"Ok. Well Giles has already filled me in on a lot that is going on," Ayla began, as she passed Giles and Kate a mug each. " So what I think I will do is perform a trance, sort of a past life regression."

Kate felt herself tense. " I am going to go back and relive what happened?"

"More like watch," Ayla clarified. " But things like this are never predictable. You will be watching, or re-living part of it. I can't be sure. But you will be safe Kate that I promise. You will remain here in body, and we can protect you. I am afraid that this is the only way to help you. I tried to find out for myself, but something is cloaking the past. A spell, maybe? I can't be sure."

"Well, I guess there's no time like the present," Kate said, as she set her mug down on the table.

Ayla smiled. " Alright then. I'll just get a few things. If you want to lie down on the couch and get comfortable, we can begin."

Moments later, Ayla had collected all of her things and Kate had made herself comfortable on the couch. Kate was given a bluish liquid to drink, which did nothing for her empty stomach and then she was told to close her eyes. Ayla began to talk to her in a soothing voice, as Kate's eyelids grew heavier.

Within minutes, Ayla's voice seemed to get farther and farther away as Kate drifted into sleep. Kate felt the noise and unease fade away. The only sound she could hear was the steady beat of her heart as sleep found her.

The air felt warmer than it had been earlier. Katya opened her eyes slowly, feeling like she was exuded effort just to open them. The first thing she was aware of was the tight feeling around her neck.

_

* * *

_

_"Don't move too much," came a voice._

_Kate felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She recognized that voice. Katya turned her head slowly and was about to shout for it to get away from her, but words were already flowing out of her mouth. " Who are you?" she asked._

_Kate realized then, that she was watching what happened to her, but that she had to watch through her past self's eyes. She couldn't control what she said, but simply go around as a prisoner in her own body._

_"I will explain later," the figure answered. It was standing there; in a black robe it's face unseen. Not that she had to see its face, to know what lay under the hood. " We have to get you out of here."_

_Katya looked around her. The sight to the right of her was something she couldn't comprehend. "W…What happened here?" she asked._

_" Don't worry about them now," it said._

_Katya stared wide eyes, shaking her head from side to side. " What did this?"_

_The sight in front of her was horrifying. There were bodies everywhere. Every member of her clan, that had been there to watch her die, lay dead or dying on the grass. She could hear the soft cries all around her._

_The figure chuckled. " You Katya, you did this. You're last thoughts were ones of the purest evil. You hold more magic than you know. Your powers are attached to your emotions. Your last thoughts caused a plague to spread through your clan. They will all be dead before sunrise."_

_"But…I…I never meant for," Katya stammered._

_"Come now Katya, of course you did. Thinking it and seeing it are very different things aren't they?"_

_"How am I still alive?" Katya asked as her fingertips found the rope still tied around her neck._

_"Because I wished it," the figure replied. " But you too will be dead before sunrise if you do not come with me now."_

_Katya stared at the figure. " Why would I come with you? How do you know me?"_

_"Because I can give you what you so desperately seek," it answered._

_" My family is dead, I have no where to go. What could you possibly offer me?" Kate asked._

_"Revenge."_

* * *

"We don't actually know," Brooke admitted sheepishly. " We have an idea. We know that they are in Stars Hollow. All will be revealed soon."

"Soon?" Buffy sighed. "Always soon with you people. Well I live in the now. And people in the now need to know. Say that three times fast and it's fun for the tongue." She laughed at her last remark.

"So where is Giles?" Dawn asked. " Do you know that much?"

"Just a minute," Ashley said. She sat very still and suddenly her eyes went completely white just like before. A moment later, her eyes returned to normal. "He is with Kate. They have gone to see the Guide."

"The Guide?" Dawn asked.

"She lives in the woods a couple of hours from here," Ashley explained. " The place is cloaked, but Giles knows how to find it. He's been communicating with the Guide ever since this all began. He took Kate to see the guide to help fill her in on what is in her past."

"So Kate is going to be able to find out what happened to her after that night?" Buffy asked. "Did Giles have to hop in and out of a circle and shake his stick? Turn around and do the hokey pokey, this time?"

Ashley looked confused. " No."

"Uh, ok," Buffy, said, smiling at her own memories. " Awkward." She added under her breath.

"So if you can do that funky eye thing to see Giles, can you do that to find out what Kate is learning?" Xander asked.

Ashley paused. " I don't know. Maybe." She tried it again, remaining silent and white eyed for several minutes this time.

"She was met by the cloaked figure. It took her to its place. It offered her a chance for revenge." Ashley said in short sentences as she saw brief flashes of Kate's memory.

"Revenge?" Xander asked.

Spike made a sound that resembled a grunt of disdain.

Ashley paused. "They are discussing the plan."

"The plan?" Buffy said wondered out loud. "Listen guys, this is all very suspenseful and intriguing and everything, but you aren't fooling me."

Brooke's eyes widened. " What?"

"You are guardians. Hidden away for all this time, and then you are sent back to this time to stop this big bad evil, and you have no idea what's up with Kate?" Buffy said. "And if that's really true then I don't believe that you don't know. I mean Giles needed help to find this guide, or whatever. But please, I am so on to you guys. So just get over the whole eye flipy thing, and just tell us the facts."

Ashley looked like she was about to defend her original statement, but finally let out a sigh of defeat. " Fine. You're right. We know what happened to Kate, but we really don't know until tonight for sure."

"Buffy, how did you know that? Was I the only one who didn't think that way?" Xander asked.

Buffy shrugged. " I wasn't sure. I took a guess."

"Well played," Xander said. He frowned at Brooke. " Gotcha!"

Brooke rolled her eyes. " Fine Xander, you got us."

"So," Buffy said. " Continue."

_

* * *

_

_The figure walked forward and offered her something to drink. Katya took the cup, but glanced at it suspiciously. "It's just wine, I assure you. You're throat must be dry."_

_Katya hesitated but then took a tentative sip. It was very cold and felt good against her parched throat. After a few sips, she set the glass down and turned towards the robed figure. " Why am I here?"_

_"You have a choice Katya. To live or to die. I offer you a chance not many would ever get. You were wronged in your death. Your love, a vampire, stood by and watched you die. Your family did nothing to help you; it was on their hands that you died. Your last thoughts were of evil, and that evil called to me. That is why I came here this night. I tied the rope around you neck as well as around your stomach. Your family were too busy screaming for your death, that they did not notice this. You didn't die Katya. I gave you a second chance. It took only a moment to save your life, and it can take only a moment to end it."_

_"Revenge against William?' Kate said her voice came out in a shaky whisper._

_"Forget the sadness Katya, what do you feel, deep inside?" It asked._

_Kate felt the anger begin to bottle inside her, despite what she knew now. She was trying to send a message to her old self, but she was simply standing by. She had to watch helplessly as her past self was baited by the robed things' voice._

_"It hurts," Katya said, weakly. "But I don't think…I just don't know if I could kill him. I try to be angry, but it just hurts too much. It hurts too much to even wish him dead."_

_The robed thing gripped her by the arms, pulling her close. " You don't wish him dead, even when he stood by you and let you die? You thought he loved you! Surely a vampire with that amount of strength could have saved you. And what about your sister? Katya? What about me?"_

_The robed thing pushed back it's hood to reveal a likeness so close to her sister's that Katya fell to the floor in a near faint. Her sister looked down at her with sorrowful brown eyes, and full ruby lips as tears streaked down her alabaster skin._

_"They killed me Katya. They sucked my blood until my heart stopped. He bought me as a treat for his lady and they tortured me until I begged for my death."_

_Kate stared at her sister's face, even after all this time it felt like yesterday. Her sister was so close. But then she had to remember that this thing wasn't her sister. But her past self fell for it so easily._

_"Sarah?" Katya whispered, as she reached out for her sister. Sarah fell to her knees and embraced Katya, hugging her as tightly as possible._

_"Katya, don't let him get away with it, please. For me." Sarah begged. " Let him give you the power to stop them from hurting anyone else again. You must kill him Katya. Please." Sarah begged again and again, her tears running down her cheeks._

_The hot tears welled up in Katya's eyes and then spilled over as she hugged her sister. " I'm so sorry Sarah. It should have been me."_

_"See what they did to me Katya?" Sarah whispered as she sat back on her heels. _

_She held her hand in front of Katya's eyes and whispered under her breath. Katya gasped in surprise, as Sarah's death flashed before her eyes. She watched as Angelus kidnapped her, tied her up, tortured her with Darla and then how he fed off her slowly, prolonging her life for the pleasure of watching her suffer._

_By the time the flashes were over, Katya was sobbing uncontrollably. It was as if she'd felt her sister's pain and fear and the feeling of her heart as it slowed moment by moment until she breathed her last breathe. It wasn't fair. No person deserved to feel that much pain._

_Would William have done that to her? Katya wiped her eyes with the back of her fist, as she shook her head from side to side, hoping to somehow clear the images from her mind._

_Sarah's face looked back at hers. There was a look there, behind her eyes, was it hope? _

_"How can I change anything?" Katya asked. " Killing William won't bring you back will it?"_

_Sarah's eyes were cast downward, as a single tear cascaded down her cheek. She looked up then, making a point to stare her sister directly in the eye. " No, it won't. But it will give me peace. It will mean, that no one else has to suffer at their hands like I have."_

_Katya nodded her head. " Yes."_

_"And if I were to offer you that opportunity?" Sarah asked._

_"What do you want me to do?" Katya replied._

_Sarah smiled, as she got to her feet. She crossed the room and picked up a chalice, a small knife, a piece of parchment and an amulet suspended from a chain. Katya wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. Sarah pulled Katya gently to her feet and led her to a small table by the window._

_"What is this?" Katya asked._

_"To gain the powers you will need to kill him, you will have to sign your name and vow to keep your promise."_

_"You won't be helping me?" Katya asked. " Where would I look? Where would I go? I have no money, no home, no way of finding him now."_

_Sarah smiled, placing a reassuring hand over her sister's. "I can only come to this place, this dimension for only so long. There are other's that try and bound my powers. They are searching for me now. They don't want you to kill the vampire Katya, and they will do everything to stop me from giving you my powers. When you have my powers, I will be weaker and cannot exist on this dimension safely. I will be trusting you to keep this vow to me Katya. When I return and William is dead; then I will take back my powers and be even stronger than before. With this strength and power, I will be able to let you see your sister again. I can bring her back to you, as if she'd never died."_

_"You promise me this?" Katya asked insistently. _

_"It is my vow to you," Sarah replied. "Soon, this won't just be an image of your sister. But you will be able to see her, and talk to her and live the life you never got a chance to see. This is my promise."_

_Katya nodded, feeling the tremors of fear and hope rush through her body like a tidal wave._

_Sarah picked up the knife and made a small cut in the shape of a crescent moon on her palm. She then did the same to Katya. Katya bit her lip as the sharp sting bit into her flesh and the metallic smell of blood filled her senses._

_Sarah picked up the amulet and placed it between their palms and then pressed her hand against Katya's, interlacing their fingers. As she squeezed the blood dripped between their palms and onto the parchment below. _

_Katya cried out as she felt a weird sensation start to build inside her. Sarah dipped towards her as if she was going to pass out. A rush of adrenaline raced through Katya, and a power surge raced inside her. She had never felt anything like it. She felt invincible. _

_Sarah held onto the table to keep herself from falling as the energy was sucked out of her. "There isn't much time now," Sarah said weakly. " Sign your name in the blood and the transaction with be complete."_

_Katya took the pen and wrote her name across the parchment as another energy surge hit her, nearly knocking her to the floor. Weaker than before, Sarah managed to thread the amulet onto a piece of lace and handed it to Kate. "This is for you, keep it close at all times. You must keep this promise or else your sister will suffer for all eternity and you along with her."_

_Katya felt a chill of fear at those last words. Suddenly Sarah's image faded and she found herself looking at a decrypted old women. Katya gasped in horror as she shrank back from it._

_"You promised Katya," the image said. " It is done."_

_With a gust of wind, the parchment and the old women were gone, and Katya found herself alone, once again._

* * *

Kate set straight up as if awakening from a horrible dream. And that's exactly how it felt. She had, had no control over anything. She had been simply a voyeur, forced to watch herself fall for something resembling her sister. She had been a mute, unable to send her past self any semblance of a warning.

Kate raised her head and felt that, despite the cold outside, that sweat had beaded on her brow.

Giles was sitting on the table next to her, and his face was full of concern. Ayla stood by, having watched the whole thing unfold, without any sign of judgment.

"Did it work?" Giles asked.

Kate hesitated, unsure of how to form it into words yet, so she nodded.

"Then we have what we need to know?" Giles asked.

Kate paused and then shook her head, something just occurring to her now. "I what happened after my death. I made a promise to kill him, to kill Spike so that my sister could live again, but…" she paused, trying to clear her head. Had she forgot something important? " But that doesn't explain why I am here now. Obviously I didn't kill him, because he's still here. So why am I still here? It said that if I failed it would kill me."

Ayla stepped from the shadows, her cheery face now solemn. "I think I can tell you why."

* * *

"There are some things that we can't tell you right now," Ashley said, " Not because you aren't trusted, but because we won't know for sure until Kate returns from her journey."

"Any idea when that might be luv?" Spike asked.

"It shouldn't be long," Ashley said. " Once she's spoken to the Guide, she will return with Giles and they should be able to fill us in. It isn't for us to say, and for that I am sorry. We are merely Guardians. But believe me when I tell you that you will know in time."

"So we know about Rory," Buffy said, "And you are both here to protect her."

"Yes," Ashley replied. " Though Brooke is here to protect the key."

"Here we go with the key again," Dawn, sighed.

"I agree, this conversation is starting to feel like a carrousel," Willow said. " We go around and around but don't get anywhere new."

"Alright," Brooke said. " Rory is the one who was meant to watch the key. But until she is given her powers, that job falls to me. Ashley and I have to protect the both of them because the prophecy is coming and they aren't ready yet. The key will be in the form of a human."

"Is the human in stars Hollow?" Buffy asked.

"Yes," Brooke replied. "But.."

"No buts," Buffy said insistently. " Just say it."

"However," Brooke began again.

"Nah uh," Dawn protested. " However is just a fancy but."

Brooke sighed loudly. "Could I? The human is in Stars Hollow, HOWEVER, the human isn't born yet."

"Isn't born yet?!?!" Came a chorus.

"So when is this prophecy? In like 16 years?" Buffy asked.

"More like a year or two," Brooke said.

"So, the world will be left in the hands of a baby? I mean terrible twos are one thing, but this is ridiculous."

"The baby won't be fighting. It just has to be born." Ashley said.

"So we make sure the baby is born," Buffy asked. " That's it?"

"If that were it, we wouldn't need the slayer," Brooke said defensively.

"The baby can be swayed just as the mother could be. Towards good or evil. It is supposed to be the purest form of good, but it could be swayed. If it is born in evil, then here is no hope for any of us."

"So where's this mother?" Buffy asked.

Ashley opened her mouth to answer, but another voice filled the room.

"That would be me," came the tired reply.

Everyone turned and found themselves staring at a weary Kate. Kate walked into the room with Giles following behind. Both of them looked to be in disbelief.

"You are going to be the mother?" Dawn asked.

"No," Kate replied. " I am currently the mother." She stressed the word currently.

Spike couldn't look more furious. " You mean that bloody Diner owner who had his mitts all over you?!" The disgust was evident.

"Luke? Wow, that's going to be one cute kid," Willow said, thinking out loud. " So how do you know this already? I mean, how far along are you…like, a day?"

Kate smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. " I am in the first trimester," she agreed. Then she sighed loudly, still in shock from finding out from another person that she was pregnant

"And I have been for a hundred years," she said, cocking her head to the side as she looked at Spike. "Daddy…"

* * *


	25. Freedom Trapped

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 24: Freedom Trapped**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own, or claim to own any characters from Gilmore Girls or BTVS. I make no money from these stories. I write for your enjoyment and mine.

* * *

Everyone sat in a stunned silence for several moments as each one tried to process the huge elephant that had just entered the room. They had dealt with strange things for most of their teenage and adult lives, and yet they were surprised when they still had the ability to be shocked by something.

Buffy, naturally, was the first to break the ice. " Ok. Please tell me this is a 'in the old days I was the naughty girl that called him daddy for kinks' kinda phrase."

"I really wish I could," Kate said honestly.

Buffy shook her head from side to side, trying to shake those thoughts out of her head. She got to her feet, unable to be close to Spike the father. "This can't be right! I mean, who is pregnant for a hundred years?!? There's got to be something else. What about Luke? It's got to be Luke's!"

"I never slept with Luke," Kate said remaining calm.

"You didn't?" Spike asked sounding relieved.

Buffy shot him a withering look. " Shush you! You just couldn't leave well enough alone could you?"

"What are you on about pet?" Spike asked.

"You! You and Angel!" Buffy said. " And this sick need to be better than the other one. You're both morons sometimes!"

"I am nothing like that nancy boy, hair gelled, lift wearing, captain forehead …ponce," Spike said, feeling justifiable offended.

"You always have to do him one better," Buffy said, getting more worked up by the second. " He is cursed with a soul, you go get one yourself! He has a kid; you have a kid over a hundred years ago that still isn't born! A kid that could tip the scales of good and evil as we know it!"

"Angel bags the slayer, so does …." Xander began.

Buffy spun around. " Finish that sentence and so help me god Xander, you will be walking funny tomorrow."

Xander's eyes widened as he began to edge away from the irate slayer. "Sorry Buff."

"Buffy, you have to calm down," Giles said.

"Slayer, it's not like I meant to," Spike insisted. " Vampires aren't supposed to be able to father children."

"They aren't supposed to have soul either, but that doesn't seem to stop you two!" Buffy shouted, her voice reaching a pitch that had people wincing. And then as if she'd just stepped out of her body and watched herself, Buffy's eyes widened. She covered her mouth with her hand, perhaps in hope that she wouldn't say anymore.

"Excuse me," Buffy said. "It's been a long night."

"We can continue this tomorrow morning," Giles suggested.

Buffy glanced at the clock. It was already 3 am. Everyone was looking to her to make the call. Buffy ran her fingers through her hair, wincing as she struck one knot after the other. "Well, we might as well get this over with. We are running out of time, after all." She directed this last comment at Giles, with a bemused grin.

Buffy took the blanket from Spike and settled down on the floor at his feet, refusing to crawl back into her old spot. In a second, the thought of that no longer held comfort to her anymore. That part of Spike that was all hers had slipped out of her fingers a little bit more.

Once Kate and Giles were seated, Giles turned to Ashley and Brooke. With a nod of his head, they had their permission to finally share all that they knew.

Ashley took the floor. "As you know, we were hidden away by the powers that be when the Guardians were threatened by the First. Our essences were bottled so that we didn't appear in human form, until the time we were needed. Then we were given bodies so that we could come to this time and place to protect the unborn child and the Guardian Slayer that would protect her."

"My child is going to be a girl then?" Kate asked, suddenly feeling more emotional than before. She had only had a couple of hours to get used to the idea of being pregnant, but knowing the gender of the child just made it feel more real.

Ashley nodded with a smile on her face.

"Naturally," Buffy muttered under her breath. "I can just see it now. The men that are evil and the women chosen to kill them, on the next Oprah."

"I'm going to continue," Ashley said.

Giles began to clean his glasses again. " Please do."

Buffy took that as a hint to be quiet and she chose not to say anything else.

"Alright," Ashley said. " There was a prophecy over a hundred years ago about a women who would become pregnant from a vampire. The baby was to be a being of supreme good."

"I hate to interrupt," Willow said, But how was the baby supposed to be supreme good if it was fathered by a vampire wouldn't it be a toss up? Sorry Spike."

"Because," Ashley continued. " Spike was indeed a vampire with no soul. But he genuinely fell in love despite that fact. To love without a soul is a rare thing; it breaks all barriers. It's against the laws of human behavior. To sum up, it is the purest and truest form of love that there is."

Kate peeked at Spike from the corner of her eye, as she remembered something she had thought about so long. " Which is more pure; to hate with a soul or to love without."

It wasn't until she saw several pairs of eyes fixated on her, that Kate realized she had spoken her thought aloud. "I'm sorry," Kate said. " Please continue."

"Just like there is the First," Ashley said. " There is almost the Coven, the oldest and wisest wizards and witches since the beginning of time. There foresaw that this pregnancy would take place, but what they didn't foresee was that the First had also seen this. The Coven was ready to wait for this child to be born, but the First was already taking actions to make sure that didn't happen."

"Ok, interrupting again," Dawn apologized. " We are talking about Spike and Kate and how their baby could be a being of supreme good right? But here is my question…how is there a baby at all? I mean he's a vampire. How did that even happen?"

"Everything was planned," Ashley explained. " There was a prophecy. When there is prophecy magic is easier to manipulate. The fact that Spike loved her was not our doing. We can't mess with free will; we can manipulate the direction but not the actual outcome. However, when he did fall in love with her, we were able to manipulate it so that she would get pregnant. The magic was already working with them. It was destiny. Fate. Whatever you want to call it."

"A cosmic joke?" Buffy volunteered bitterly.

"We manipulated certain things," Ashley said. " Spike and Kate would have met eventually because of fate, but it had to happen within this time period for the prophecy to come true. Sarah was going to die at the hands of an Angelus that was fate. But Spike being with them at that time, was manipulated. Drusilla was the one that sired Spike. And with her head permanently in the clouds, she was easy to manipulate. It wasn't hard to put the voices in her head, that made her turn William, instead of another mortal."

"Wow, you guys really were in this from the beginning, weren't you?" Dawn said.

Ashley nodded. "Not us personally, but the Coven—yes."

"We are getting a little off track here," Giles said, as he stood to stretch his legs.

"Sorry," Ashley said. " Anyway they sent a powerful warlock to make sure that Katya and William were separated. It failed in preventing the conception," Ashley continued. "So it cast a spell upon her clan that turned them against her, which would lead to her death. Watching William stand by, not realizing he was a hostage not a bystander, made her angry. The warlock counted on that and heightened her anger so that her last moments were of purest evil."

"My family wasn't against me?" Kate whispered. She didn't know how much she could take tonight. Nothing was, as it seemed then or now.

Ashley shook her head. " I am so sorry to tell you that Kate, but it was all orchestrated to bring out some evil in you. You were so new at your powers that they were so closely tied to your emotions. You were angry and so your powers acted out of that anger and pain. You didn't deliberately try to hurt them we know that. Had you wanted to hurt them, then you wouldn't be here now with us. You would have turned immediately and the First wouldn't be trying to find you still, it would already have you. No memory spell can erase the evil inside Kate, I promise you that."

"The First just needed a way in, no matter how small that was," Brooke explained. "After your death the First took you away to Ireland to get you to make that promise. By killing Spike, the person you loved the most, you would have turned completely evil. Killing the one thing that kept you human would have destroyed all our efforts to bring this child to the world."

"However, the warlock wasn't as powerful when it was in this dimension for long. It was telling the truth about that. The longer it stayed on this dimension the more energy it had to exude and the easier it was for us to find it. So it took a great risk and passed that power to you."

"I remember seeing that," Kate said. " I was promised that my sister would get to live again. Having to watch it, I wished I could have let my past self in on the lie. But I had wanted to be with Sarah again, more than anything."

"I know," Brooke said.

"So how does that get Kate from vowing to kill Spike, to today?" Xander asked.

"Well, with the warlock unable to protect, we stepped in. We tracked her down and kidnapped her while she was out one day. From then on we knew that she would not be able to have this baby anytime soon. She had blood of the warlock in her system, a vow of revenge, and a child that would be due within nine months. If we let her have the baby then, we would have lost everything."

"But then how is that robed thing….so like me? I mean, why does it look like me?" Kate asked.

Everyone turned to stare at her again. " What was that now?" Buffy said.

"Is it a doppelganger? Those never work out well," Willow said.

"At least your doppelganger wasn't cooler than you?" Xander muttered, thinking of his leather-clad vampire self of the past.

"The robed thing came to me last night at the dance," Kate explained. " After Spike was knocked out."

"You didn't tell me that," Spike said. That explained why she looked so out of it last night. He should have known.

"I didn't know what to think of it," Kate explained. "It told me that I should come with it and it would explain everything to me. And I'm sorry, but part of me wanted to go. I just wanted to know who I was. I've been walking around in a cloud for almost two year. Most of that time traveling from city to city trying to figure out where I belonged. I didn't care what source it came from in the end, I just had to know something."

"We understand Kate," Giles said.

"But you should have told us," Buffy said.

"She told me Buffy," Giles said.

Buffy frowned. That was what the secret meeting was about then? Great, now Kate was taking her Watcher too.

"Then it took off its hood and it was like looking at myself," Kate said. "Of all the things I was preparing myself to see—that wasn't one of them. It was me right down to the last detail. She appeared a little meaner, like her eyes were cold, but that was it."

"I can explain that," Ashley said, looking sheepish. "When we got a hold of you we had to do something about the evil energy that the warlock had passed to you."

"We couldn't take it out, because then it would return to the Warlock and make him even stronger," Brooke explained. " When the energy mixed with yours the power began to grow, that's why the Warlock told you that when he returned, he would take the powers back and be strong enough to bring your sister back."

"And we couldn't continue with our plan when you had all that negative energy inside you." Ashley said.

"What was your plan?" Kate asked.

"Think of it as freezing you," Ashley said. " We would freeze you in time, until a date in the future when we could unfreeze you. You were already pregnant, so that part was done. It should have been your ancestor here at this time, but using you wouldn't destroy the integrity of the prophecy. In fact, it was actually better plan in the end."

"So then why is the robed thing look like me?" Kate asked.

"To separate you from your evil magic we had to literally, for lack of a better work, split you in two. One side possessed the true nature of your character. Katya. The second possessed the anger, hurt and evil that was instilled in you at the moment of your death." Ashley explained.

"So that thing, is me?" Kate said. " It's just the evil me."

"Can we kill it?" Buffy asked. She felt several pair of eyes glare at her. " What?!?! Come on, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that if this thing is her, does killing it--which, if I remember right, is what we do—does it kill her?"

Ashley nodded her head slowly. " You're right Buffy. You can't kill it. If it dies, so does Kate, and the baby with her."

"Ok, so we pretty much know everything now," Dawn said. " But one last thing, why did Kate have no memory?"

"That's simple," Ashley said. " We couldn't have her remembering any of what happened. If she remembered it then it would all be for nothing. The warlock could only find her through thought. If Kate knew who she was the Warlock would be able to find her. We also had to make sure it worked. We took the amulet and everything else that connected her, and let her free so that she could find you. In a way, the last couple of years were a redemption period for you Kate. When you saw Spike that night and called him William, it just proved that your love for him was stronger that your hate. I mean, that's why the part of your relationship with him came back to you with no help from us."

Buffy glanced at the clock; she was terrible for that. Normally she didn't care what time of day it was, but whenever they were having one of their fact sharing meetings, she couldn't help but gage how long she'd sat by. The sun would be rising soon. It had now officially been the longest day in history.

The information shared tonight still rattled around in her head, and she felt the onset of a migraine. She couldn't even think straight anymore. There were just too many things going on and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

"I have a question," Spike said. " If you seem to know so much, then how come I am back? I died in that battle."

"No you didn't Spike," Brooke, said. " We pulled you out before that could happen. The only time you ever died was in Sunnydale. And even then, we couldn't let you go." Brooke and Ashley smiled at each other, as if they were sharing their own private joke.

"But I was brought back by the amulet that Lindsey had sent to Wolfram and Hart," Spike said. " The same thing I wore when I helped suck Sunnydale into the ground."

"This amulet," Ashley said, as an amulet appeared in her hand. Spike's mouth opened in surprise as he stared in disbelief at the small amulet.

"Hey, that's my amulet!" Kate said.

"That's my amulet," Spike said back.

"That's the amulet that the Warlock used in the ceremony Spike! That was the one I wore." Kate insisted.

"You're both right," Ashley said. " Spike tried to tell you Kate, that you were connected. You are. The same amulet that held your emery was the one that fought beside him in Sunnydale. The one that brought him back to L.A. And the one that brought you both here to Stars Hollow. Three cities forming a triangle."

"Checkmate," Xander muttered under his breath, just like he had only hours ago.

"Wow. I did not see that coming," Willow said.

"This is our last shot," Ashley said. "We have to win this one, or the prophecy will end on the side of evil."

"This is mind blowing," Dawn said, burying her head in her hands. " My head feels like it's going to explode."

"Me too," Buffy said, feeling the acid rise in her throat. "Excuse me."

She began to get to her feet, despite protests from the group. She slid on her running shoes, grabbed her coat and keys and was out the door before anyone could stop her.

* * *

The blast of cold air hit her hard and she felt her breath sucked from her body. The acid rising in her throat wasn't helping at all. Buffy ran to a nearby tree and doubled over, feeling like she was going to throw up. There was nothing in her stomach and she felt the emptiness spread all over her.

The lights from the house fell over her and it all felt too bright. Everything seemed to be spinning and she felt trapped. Trapped and completely empty. Things didn't make sense anymore. Spike was a father? He was going to have a platinum little baby that he created. With a devastatingly realization, Buffy realized that it wasn't the fact that he was going to be a father. But a father with another women.

She had to get away from here. Before she could think of a plan, she began to stumble forward. She began to walk towards town and then she began to jog. Soon, her feet were pounding the pavement as her surroundings went flying by her.

She ran as fast as she could, until she felt like her lungs might explode in her chest. The cold stung her face as the wind whipped by her. Up ahead she saw the park and headed towards it. Her legs sank into the mounds of snow, freshly piled from the bulldozer, and felt the cold spread through her thin pajama pants.

As she reached the gazebo, her legs finally gave out and she fell onto the stairs. Her breath came out in ragged gasps as she clutched her chest, as her heart hammered against her ribs. And then, from deep inside her, the sobs began.

Soon she was doubled over as her body shook with uncontrollable sobs. Each cry seemed to rip from somewhere deep inside her and she feared she might break apart right here. What was holding her together anymore? She was so lost.

"Buffy?"

Buffy's head came up quickly at the sound of her name. Spike was standing a few feet away, looking down at her with a look of disbelief.

"Go away," Buffy said, between sobs.

"What's wrong?" Spike asked, knowing full well what was wrong with her.

"What's wrong?! What's wrong?!" Buffy said in disbelief. " Everything is wrong! You're going to be a father, Spike. A father! You and Kate are the ultimate love story for crying out loud! Your love defied the laws of humans. It brought you both back to life and gave you a baby. That's what's wrong Spike."

Spike stepped closer, but Buffy flinched away. "That's what's bothering you? That I am going to be a father, or that I loved someone else?"

"Don't patronize me Spike," Buffy said bitterly. "We all have pasts. But it is one thing to know that and another to be told that your past love will save the friggin world. It's not fair Spike. None, of this is any fair."

"I know pet," Spike said.

Buffy shook her head, " You don't know Spike. You have no idea."

"Buffy, please just talk to me," Spike said, as he inched closer.

"Go away Spike. Go back to Kate," Buffy cried. " I don't think Luke is standing in your way anymore."

"You mean you, don't you pet? You aren't standing in my way anymore. Is that what you're really trying to say? That I think you're in my way."

Buffy jumped up from the steps. " Fine, I'll go," she whispered, as she turned to head in the opposite direction.

"Not yet luv," Spike said, grabbing a hold of her arm.

Buffy wrenched her arm free, shoving him as hard as she could. Spike stumbled backwards, and with a grunt of frustration he lunged at her again. Buffy cried out, as he grabbed onto her upper arms, wrenching her forward.

"Get it out luv," Spike said, his face unreadable.

Buffy cried out, struggling to break free of his vice grip. She tried beating her hands against his arms and chest, but she couldn't reach enough to put strength behind it. She had no strength left as it was. She was drained and exhausted.

As Buffy's cries of anger, mixed with sobs, she felt the struggle subside. " It's not fair! It's not fair!" she cried into the air.

"What's not fair ?" Spike said, baiting her.

"Everything," she cried, struggling to get loose. " It was supposed to be us!"

Spike's eyes widened, and in his moment of surprise he let his hold go a little. Buffy wrenched free, pushing away from him. Spike stood, stunned, unable to move. "Buffy, what are you --?"

"It was supposed to be!" Buffy said. Pointing at herself, her tone turning to anger. " I said I loved you. I tried to make it go away but I still love you. Part of me always will. And everyone always leaves me anyway. You were supposed to be different. You were supposed to try and find me, but you never did! It was supposed to be my turn to be happy Spike. But you got to forget. They made you forget us, but…" Buffy felt the sobs come on again, and she couldn't even see through the tears.

"What I am so mad about," Buffy said. " What I can't understand is why they couldn't let me forget. Why did they let you, and not me? I need to forget, I need to forget." She kept repeated this line through her tear filled voice. Her chest was aching so badly, she thought the pain would never end.

"I'm just so confused and so alone in this," she said, trying to make him understand. " But I walk around, knowing that I will always remember us. And that's all I'm allowed to have. You're free, and I'm trapped."

"Buffy, I…" Spike reached out for her, his own eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Please don't," she whispered. She looked him in the eyes, and it felt like it was just the two of them, and nothing existed around them, just like the last time they'd been together. " I can't bare you to touch me and it not mean the same to you, that it does to me. When I look at you, looking at me…it's gone Spike. I can't even see it there anymore, and it kills me a little more each time."

Spike stood there, unable to help her. Buffy turned and began to walk into the night, her vision blurry. She tried to hold herself together as she walked away from him….again.

* * *

Ashley slid into a pair of silky pajamas, turned off the bathroom light and headed into the living room. She had left Buffy's house only an hour ago. The sun was starting to rise and then it would be Christmas Eve. It had started raining and she stood looking out her window at it.

It was fitting that it should be raining after their conversation. A clean slate. Time to start over. She rested her head against the cool plane of the glass, as her eyes drifted shut. She felt emotionally exhausted and couldn't wait to crawl into bed.

Just then she heard a knock at the door. Glancing at the clock, she wondered who would be here this early. As she opened the door, she was shocked to see a very wet Buffy in front of her. Buffy's hair was stuck to her head and she was dripping onto the floor. Ashley stared at her in shock, unable to think of anything to say. There was something in Buffy's eyes. No, there was nothing in Buffy's eyes. She looked completely void of any emotion at all. The only sign she was alive, was the fact she was shaking from the cold.

"I know what you did," Buffy said. " I know if was you that erased Spike's feelings for me. I figure it was because I couldn't be a factor. I couldn't be in your way. You had to have Spike concentrating on Kate so that she wouldn't get all mad and evil on him or whatever. I get it. I mean, I understand why. It's important to save the world, and that's supposed to be my job. So I understand. But I can't do what I have to do, with these feelings. I can't be the slayer, hell, I can't even breathe so good right now."

"What are you asking me Buffy?" Ashley asked.

Buffy took a shaky breath, but said with conviction. " I need you to make me forget too."


	26. The Best Part of Waking Up

**Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow**

**Chapter 25 The Best Part of Waking Up**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters from Buffy or Gilmore Girls. I make no money from these stories, and write purely for your enjoyment.

* * *

The sun woke Rory before her alarm clock even had a chance. Her clock was always set for school and even on the holidays, she kept it on. It was her way of making sure she didn't get used to sleeping in when school began again. Her mom always made fun of her for it, but she had done this for as long as she could remember. And to stop that one part of her routine was like asking her to give up her pro and con lists—a thought which chilled her to her core.

It wasn't only the sun, beating against her window that woke her—but also the weight pressing over her stomach. Careful not to move too much, Rory cast her eyes to the side and looked at Dean's face. The slow, even sounds of his breath let her know that he was still sleeping. In his sleep, his hair had fallen over his eyes, and it made Rory want to reach out and brush his hair away from his face.

Only that might wake him, and for now she wanted to just lie here like this. His arm was pressed solidly against her, and he hugged her against his chest. His face was close enough that she could feel the warm flutter of his breathe along the curve of her neck.

Rory rested her hand over his and gently brushed her fingertips up and down each one of his fingers, as though committing them to memory. Moments like this were what made her happiest. Even though a little tug of worry kept creeping in. She was, after all, lying in bed with a guy. If her mother were to see her she would flip—no matter how unconventional she may be.

But Lorelai had spent the night at Sookie's, when Sookie was having problems with the Christmas Eve dinner menu. Lorelai had gone over there to help last night, and then called home to inform her daughter that Sookie was in the throes of a freak out, and probably would stay the night with her. Sookie called later to apologize for stealing her mother, at least that is what Rory thought she said, as Sookie had obviously been in the cooking sherry again. It was the only way Lorelai seemed to calm her down when it came to cooking problems.

Rory carefully raised Dean's hand and, as quietly as she could, she slid off the bed and headed to the bathroom. Sure, she loved lying in Dean's arms, but after sleeping there with him, she could only imagine what her breath must be like.

As she loaded her toothbrush with toothpaste, she stared critically at herself in the mirror. Bed head was also an issue it would appear. As she brushed her teeth with one hand, she tried brushing out her knots with the other hand. As content as she was to just lie there in her boyfriend's arms, she was growing restless.

She had always been a little restless before, but lately, the restlessness had been growing rapidly. In the past, she had thrown herself into her books and schoolwork, striving for the best marks that she could get. She craved the education and knowledge like one would crave air. In the past this had satisfied her. But lately, it didn't quench her thirst. She felt a little lost, like she was supposed to be somewhere or doing something, but she couldn't think what. It was as if she were walking around, unable to remember what she was supposed to do.

She had checked her assignments and planners the night before, to make sure that she hadn't missed something. Everything was perfect. She couldn't figure out what it was.

After rinsing her mouth out with water, and pulling her hair into her standard ponytail, she headed back to her bedroom. Dean was still asleep. She stood in the doorway for a minute to gawk at her gorgeous boyfriend. There he was, lying in her bed and he was all hers. He loved her. She still couldn't believe that she, Rory Gilmore, had a boyfriend.

Rory crawled into bed and snuggled up next to him, laying her head on his chest. She listened to the steady beats of his heart and she felt herself begin to drift off again. Today was Christmas Eve. She loved Christmas, and even the weirdness at the Inn the other night didn't stop her from feeling the excitement. The other night had been weird though, even though the actual events were very foggy. Supposedly there had been a power outage and in the commotion, things had been broken and people left in a hurry.

Although Rory seemed to remember being surrounded by men and there were two women surrounded in a white light. She had tried to tell Dean about it, but he didn't remember much of the night either.

Buffy had said that someone had spiked the punch, and that's why people didn't remember much. Maybe, Rory thought. Dean had laughed when Rory had told about what she remembered, and chalked it up to a dream she'd had. That was the last time Rory mentioned it.

Dean stirred in his sleep, and automatically wrapped his arms around Rory, hugging her tightly to him. The corners of Rory's lips lifted in a smile—even in his sleep he reached for her. And that was oddly comforting.

"Mmmm…mornin'" Dean muttered. Rory smiled.

Then Dean sat bolt upright, causing Rory to jump backwards. She gasped in surprise as she felt herself going backwards off the bed, flailing her arms wildly in the air in hopes to propel her forwards again. Dean recovered just in time and reached out to pull her back.

"Sorry," he muttered, running a hand through his matted hair. " We fell asleep!"

"Yes, we did," Rory, agreed, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Dean was completely freaked out, trying to straighten his clothes and searching the room for, a disapproving, Lorelai. "Where….where, is your mom?!?!"

"At Sookie's," Rory said, calmly.

"Oh," Dean muttered, completely calming down. He laughed nervously, as he put his arm around Rory and pulled her close to him. " Then why am I freaking out?"

"I was just wondering the same thing myself," Rory said with a smile.

Dean kissed the top of her head. Rory tilted her head back so that the second kiss would be planted on her lips. Dean smiled as he lowered his head as she commanded. Just before his lips touched hers, he paused.

"You brushed your teeth!" He said in disbelief.

Rory smiled. " Yeah…"

"That's not fair," Dean said. " You can't sneak out of bed and brush your teeth when I have total morning breath."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know the rules," Rory laughed. " Kiss?"

"Toothbrush," Dean replied.

"Come on," Rory said, tugging at his shirt insistently. " Just one?"

"I will in just a minute," Dean said.

"I don't care," Rory said, tilting her head back with her eyes closed.

Dean covered her mouth with his fingers. " Not until I am minty fresh." Before she could protest again, Dean jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. " I'll be right back Colgate breath."

Rory smiled as she hugged the pillow to her chest and waited for Dean to come back. Several minutes later, Dean stood in the doorway with a boyish grin on his face. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then dove unto the bed, grabbing onto Rory as he rolled over. Rory giggled, as Dean rolled them once before pinning her underneath him.

Dean supported himself on his elbow as he stared down at his beautiful girlfriend. He traced the line of her cheekbone with the tips of his fingers, before planting a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"When is your mom coming home?" he whispered, suggestively.

Rory raised an eyebrow as she blushed under the heat of his gaze. "Ummm…I don't know."

"Any idea?" Dean asked again, planting a second kiss at the corner of her lips.

Rory drew in a shaky breath. " I have no idea," she repeated.

Dean sighed as he planted another kiss on the other side of her lips at the corner. "Too bad," he said under his breath.

His fingers found the small area of midriff and ran the tips of his fingers over her silky flesh. Rory almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden feeling of warm fingers trailing lines along the sensitive flesh of her tummy. He bent his head and kissed along her neck, until he reached the super sensitive location behind her ear.

Rory's eyelids fluttered closed, as every muscle in her body seemed to melt. Dean hesitated.

"What? What's wrong?" Rory said, suddenly feeling insecure.

"Nothing, but I don't want to get too carried away in case your mom comes home," Dean said regretfully.

"I don't think she'll be home for a bit," Rory said.

"You said you didn't know," Dean said, with a sly smile.

"I lied," Rory said, with a sheepish smile, as she pursed her lips for a kiss.

Dean kissed her briefly, but remained unmoving. " I don't think so Rory. I just don't want your mom to catch us."

"But….but you don't seem to mind making out when my mom's in the house, let alone outside of it!!" Rory said, flashing back to the many awkward moments she'd had to explain to her mom why her shirt was all messed up and/or buttoned up wrong.

"I don't need to give your mom and the townspeople, for that matter, another excuse to hate my guts," Dean said resentfully.

"They don't hate you," Rory insisted. " They just worry about me I guess. They like you. Just the other day Miss Patty was asking me when you would sign up for her dance class….though, in retrospect, I think it was to get you in tights more than the actual dancing." Rory tried to suppress a giggle at the last image.

Dean rolled his eyes. " Yeah, right."

Rory ran her fingers through his hair, pushing it off his face. " Don't worry so much. You just have to give it more time."

"More time? You wouldn't be saying that if the threat of townspeople showing up at your door with torches and pitchforks if you hurt the youngest Gilmore Girl, hung over your head."

Rory smiled. " Kiss me," she said simply.

"No pitchforks?" Dean said with an easy smile.

"Why Dean, I didn't know you were into that stuff," Rory said, before Dean's mouth silenced any more words.

* * *

Dawn carried two mugs to the island in the kitchen, each step thought out to keep her from falling asleep on the floor. They had been up so late last night, and with everything that was said, Dawn hadn't been able to fall asleep easily.

The millionth yawn of the day came, and she was unable to politely cover her mouth with the mugs in her hand. Spike sat by, reading the newspaper and without even glancing up--he held his hand over her mouth to stifle the yawn for her.

"Thanks," Dawn mumbled, as she set his morning blood breakfast, in front of him.

" S'alright," he mumbled back, wrapping his fingers around the offered mug.

Everyone seemed to be operating on autopilot this morning. Xander and Willow sat at the island as well, spooning cereal into their mouths without even tasting what they were eating. The sounds of breakfast filled the air, as everyone went about their routine, still digesting the events of last night.

Dawn took her seat and wrapped both hands around her steaming mug of coffee. Her eyes darted every once in awhile to the vampire beside her. Even after all this time, he managed to surprise her. It was a sad realization to know that she would never really know Spike.

"What's up nibblet?" Spike asked, without glancing away from the newspaper.

Dawn jumped visibly, as she tried to remain clueless. " What?"

"You're eyes are drilling holes into the back of my neck," Spike said, finally abandoning his newspaper as he turned to look at her.

Willow and Xander looked up then, thankful that the silence had finally been broken. Dawn shrugged, wondering if she should say the things she'd been thinking all night.

"It's just that," Dawn began, staring down at her coffee, " I just can't believe that you are going to be a father."

Spike made a sound in the back of his throat, which resembled a sarcastic snort. " It's not something I thought I would ever hear myself luv," he said.

"It is kind of mind blowing," Willow agreed, as she stirred her cereal around the bowl.

"It's kinda cool," Dawn admitted with a shy laugh, " having a baby in the scoobies."

"Oh yeah, I can see it now," Xander began sounding overly cheerful. " Spike and baby."

Spike shot Xander a look, but that didn't stop Xander from playing out his little skit. " One bite for baby," Xander began, mimicking the act of feeding a baby. " One bite for daddy," Xander continued, as he mimicked picking up the baby and attacking it with bared teeth.

"Wahh…help me mommy, why is daddy biting me?!" Xander continued, in a high pitched wail as he shook his fists in the air. He managed to keep this up for several seconds before collapsing into giggles. Clearly, he had amused himself.

Willow and Dawn stared in disbelief at Xander, as Xander grinned at his own joke. " That was…surreal," Dawn finished, shaking her head.

Spike pushed back from the counter and got to his feet. For a brief and horrific moment, Dawn thought that Spike was going to attack Xander. Only Spike didn't even give Xander a second glance. Instead, he gulped down the rest of his breakfast, rinsed his mug and then turned and walked out of the kitchen.

"Was that really necessary?" Dawn asked Xander, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Even Xander had the decency to look guilty about what he had said. Dawn turned and headed after Spike.

Willow shook her head from side to side slowly, as she let out a low whistle. " You really did it now Harris," she added, straight faced.

Xander pouted as he shoved another spoonful of cheerios into his mouth. With his mouth full of cereal, he looked at Willow out of the corner of his eye. " I know you thought it was funny."

* * *

Dawn found Spike sitting in his room. She stopped in the doorway, unsure of whether to follow him in or not. Despite the fact that it was beautifully sunny outside, Spike's room was cast in shadows. Dawn had remembered to hang some curtains over the windows after a near dusting accident.

He sat on the edge of his bed, his back to her, with his head bowed. Dawn meant to back away, but there was something so sad and compelling about the scene in front of her, she was unable to back away.

It didn't matter, because Spike had already sensed her there. " There's no need to follow me nibblet. I'm alright," came his quiet greeting.

"No you're not," Dawn said, without thinking. " Xander was just being…."

"He was right," Spike said, and then laughed sarcastically. " For once, the dough boy was right. I can't be a father. Not that Kate would even allow me around her anyway."

"Whether you want to or not, you are a father now," Dawn said. " And soon you'll have a baby girl."

"That's worse than a sodding boy," Spike muttered under his breath. " I don't know how to take care of a girl."

Dawn smiled, even though Spike couldn't see her. " You took care of me."

Spike's shoulders tensed for a moment, " That's different nibblet."

"Not really," Dawn said, with a shrug of her shoulders. " I'm not your daughter, and I am older…but you protected me with your life. You kept me safe. You stayed with me night and day when Buffy (she paused as the memory of it was still unbearable)….when everything happened."

Spike turned his head to the side, so that Dawn could make out his profile in the dark. " How are you so sure nibblet?" Spike said quietly.

"Well, cause I am still alive," Dawn said with a laugh. " And because, despite the past, you are a good man."

"You're offly confident about this pet," Spike said with a laugh. " I wish I were."

Dawn crossed the room and crawled across the bed behind him. The bed dipped a little under her weight as she crawled towards him. With his back still turned, she threw her arms around his shoulders and laid her head against his back. Spike reached up and took one of her hands in his and planted a kiss on the back of her hand.

"It's weird," Dawn began thoughtfully.

"Everything about this is weird luv," Spike said.

"No," Dawn began again, " It's just that, if this were to ever happen I always figured it would be with Buffy or something."

Spike tensed at the mention of Buffy. " You thought about this happening?"

"Well, not this exact situation," Dawn said. " But the whole family situation. I always figured if you were to have some huge love slash destiny thing with anyone, it would be Buffy."

"I don't think Buffy and I were ever headed for picket fences and 2.2 children," Spike said.

"Yeah," Dawn said thoughtfully. " A girl can hope can't she?"

"Just because Buffy and I aren't headed down that road, doesn't mean I'm going anywhere Dawn," Spike said.

Dawn pressed her cheek against his shoulder. " Promise?" she whispered. " Promise even with a little baby, I'll always be your nibblet?"

Spike laughed. " I thought you hated that nickname?"

Dawn smiled and Spike felt it against his back. " It's growing on me."

"I promise, no matter what, you will always be my nibblet," Spike said. " I wouldn't have it any other way," Spike said as an after thought.

* * *

Willow pushed aside the wool blankets and reached for the phone. She had finally fallen asleep on the couch, when the shrill sound of the phone disrupted her. She grabbed it roughly and held it to her ear. " Hello?" she mumbled.

"Willow?" came the reply.

"Ashley/" Willow asked, as her heart jumped up into her throat.

" Yeah," Ashley responded. " How are you?'

"How am I?" Willow repeated. " Just peachy. Peachy freakin' keen." Willow responded sarcastically, as she rolled her eyes.

"So you're still mad then?" Ashley asked lightly.

"Mad is an understatement," Willow muttered. " You completely lied to me. Not once, but repeatedly. I still don't know the whole story. I mean, why did you even ask me out? Was it to keep tabs on me or something? Was it easier to gain access to the group by…you know, gaining access to me." Willow finished lamely.

"Do you think we could get together and talk about this?" Ashley asked.

" Why?" Willow asked. " You got into the group, no need to tag me along anymore. The jig is up, you don't have to act interested anymore."

"I wasn't acting," Ashley answered. " At least about the liking you part. But I would like to see you face to face."

"I don't think so," Willow said. " At least not now. There's too much going on right now. I should be focusing on this prophecy as is."

"Oh, right," Ashley, said sullenly. The line went really quiet and Willow thought she might have hung up.

"Anyway," Ashley said, after a moment. " I told Buffy to give Giles a message for me. Have you seen him yet?"

Willow paused. " No. Giles is sleeping upstairs. He hasn't come down yet. You…you saw Buffy? When?"

Ashley went quiet again. " Ummm….she came by at around 5 am. She isn't home?'

Willow threw the blanket aside as she ran for the stairs. " I just thought she went for a walk, I just assumed she came home and was sleeping."

"Maybe she is," Ashley said, trying to calm Willow down.

Willow pushed open Buffy's door and with her heart in her throat, she saw the Buffy's bed was empty and hadn't been slept in. " She's not here," Willow said, more to herself than to Ashley.

"Maybe she went back out?" Ashley suggested.

"No, I've been awake, I would have seen her come in. Oh god, what if something got her," Willow said.

"Willow? Willow? Are you alright/"?

Buffy had been so upset last night, that Willow thought it best to leave her alone. And now her best friend had been gone all night. It was past noon, Buffy should have been back by now. What had happened to her best friend? She had barely got out alive from the vampire attack a couple of days ago, what if more had come looking for her? Buffy was out there somewhere, and she could be in serious trouble.

In a daze, Willow turned from the room and headed towards her own room. She would have to try a locater spell. In her concentration she didn't even hear Ashley's voice calling out to her from the phone. Willow held the phone back to her ear. " I have to go. Bye." She said quietly, as she hung up before Ashley could say anything else.

* * *

The locater spell was a bust. Willow packed up her things and shoved them back in her closet with a sigh of defeat. It didn't mean anything, except that Willow was too zapped to concentrate enough. When all else failed she would have to turn to the next best thing. Spike. With his senses, he would be sure to sniff her out.

Willow hurried up to Spike's room, coming to a halt when she got to his doorway. As she entered his room, she couldn't help but pause at the image in front of her. Spike was lying on his side, his eyes closed in sleep. Dawn was lying on her side facing him; one hand curled under her chin and the other was wrapped in Spike's hand and held against his chest. Her forehead was pressed against his chin and her chest rose and fell softly as she slept.

Willow crept towards the bed, trying to calm the urgency she felt. Spike's eyelids flickered and then opened, as he sensed her. He made a motion for her to stay silent, as he gently unwrapped Dawn's grip of his hand. Gently he got to his feet and gestured for Willow to follow him.

Once in the hall, Spike closed the door softly behind them. " Poor nibblet is tuckered out," he explained.

" I hate to interrupt nap time," Willow said. " But Buffy didn't come home last night."

"Are you sure?" Spike asked, concern showing in his face.

"Yes I'm sure!" Willow whispered loudly," Ashley just called and said that she saw her at 5am, and that she should have been on her way home. Her bed hasn't been slept in."

Willow buried her face in her hands, rubbing her tired eyes. " If something happened to her, I'll never forgive myself."

Spike rested his hands on either side of her shoulders. " Don't worry Red, Buffy is the slayer, she'll be ok. Why don't you call the Inn, maybe she went into work. I can check the sewers, but until night I can't be roaming around town looking for her."

"The Inn?!" Willow said with relief, " I didn't think to even call there yet. I mean, it's her day off after all."

"Well, Buffy and I had an argument last night," Spike said, rubbing his hand over his disheveled hair, " she probably didn't want to come back home until she cooled off."

"What did you fight about?" Willow asked.

"Don't really want to get into it now luv," Spike said. " I'm still trying to figure out a couple of other things right now."

Willow nodded. " Ok, I'll call around and try to find her."

"I will check out the sewers," Spike said. " See if there's any beasties creeping around."

Willow and Spike turned and went their separate ways.

* * *

Buffy wasn't in any danger. Though she had been dangerously close to dehydration a couple of hours ago. Once the sobbing had stopped, she had gone into a semi-catatonic state and just stared into nothingness. She felt numb now, and it wasn't from the cold.

The numbness was oddly comforting. Numb meant that the intense pain of feeling like her heart was literally breaking had passed. Numb meant that maybe she had a shot of putting herself back together again. She felt disoriented as well, and she didn't know if that was from lack of sleep, or her visit to Ashley's.

After leaving Ashley's she'd had every intention of heading home, only as she drew closer to her home, she felt need to turn and run as fast and far as she could in the other direction. She had gone to a small café in town and drank coffee after coffee, hoping to wake up and get warm.

She kept replaying the scene with Spike and her in the park and then the visit with Ashley. She faintly remembered begging Ashley to help her forget. That seemed like a lifetime ago. Soon, her intense feelings for Spike would be gone. And right now, she didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse. As much as she wanted the pain to end, the good part of wanting him—the memories—would be gone.

She would be able to look at him, and even though she would remember all their times together, she wouldn't feel the pain. She would get to have what he had—a clean slate. Maybe then, she would be able to function properly and do what had to be done.

She had a choice though. The moment she awoke from sleeping, she would have a clean slate—until then, she was a walking exposed nerve.

As she sipped, what had to be, her 20th cup of coffee she noticed that the sun was beginning to set. She had been out all night and a better part of the day. She knew she should call home and let them know that she was ok, and yet she couldn't seem to bring herself to do it. So much time had gone by now that they would surely question her about what had happened and where she had been. She couldn't handle that—not yet.

And so she left the warmth of the café and headed towards town. She didn't know what to do or where to go, but if her legs were moving she was doing something. She concentrated on the scenery around her so that she didn't think about Spike. Any thought of him brought a fresh assault of tears.

And she was sick and tired of crying. She was sick and tired of feeling lost and unsure of herself. Without thinking, she found herself on the porch steps. How had she steered herself this way?

Taking a breath, she reached out and knocked on the door. She heard footsteps and then the light spilled over her as the door opened. " What, did you forget your key…?"

"Hey," Buffy said, feeling lame but it was the only thing that came out of her mouth.

"Buffy? What's wrong?"

Buffy ran her hands over her matted hair, trying to smile. " Could I come in?"

"Sure, of course."

Buffy stepped inside, feeling the warmth start to erase the cold from her bones.

"Thanks Lorelai."

"Not a problem," Lorelai said, as she closed the door quickly, shivering from the cold air that came in with Buffy. " Would you like a coffee?'

'Sure," Buffy said, and then her stomach churned. " Actually, I've consumed my weight in coffee today. Would you mind if I just sat down?"

"Did you have a fight with your friend?" Lorelai asked.

The surprise in Buffy's face gave her away, and Lorelai laughed softly. " Your friend Willow called the Inn today. She was asking if I'd seen you."

Buffy blushed. " Yeah, I should call her. I just…."

"Don't feel like going home?" Lorelai asked.

"Exactly," Buffy said, with a grateful smile.

"Well you're welcome to stay here," Lorelai said.

Buffy smiled. " Thank you. That would be great."

"Alright then," Lorelai said. " Let's get you something to eat and maybe you'd like something a little stronger to drink."

"Alright," Buffy said, as she followed Lorelai into the kitchen. " If we're drinking something stronger, there may be a point in the evening where you have to reassure me that this isn't a karaoke bar."

Lorelai raised her eyebrows in confusion. Buffy waved her hand in dismissal. " Don't even ask."

Lorelai laughed. " Alright."

Lorelai set down a couple of glasses and pulled a bottle of vodka from the freezer. " Man problems?" Lorelai asked.

"Something like that," Buffy muttered. " Nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't cure."

"If only if were that easy," Lorelai said, as she poured the drinks.

Buffy nodded, as she took the drink gratefully. The first sip burned a trail down her throat and hit her empty stomach hard. Hopefully, Buffy thought, it would be that easy. Tomorrow morning, she would be back to normal. She would be normal Buffy—whoever the hell that was.

* * *

Author's Note: I have had some people writing to me and asking "why the delay?" Well this chapter was finished about two weeks ago, just a day after the last chapter….

but before I could upload it, my beloved dog of 16 years passed away (had her since I was seven!) Though she was old, it was sudden and devastating.She was my baby and my best friend. In fact the last line I wrote was Buffy's " I need you to make me forget" (edited it, before updating). Which was sorta the way I was thinking at the time. Some people said the last chapter made them tear up, now you know why. Cause I was one big exposed nerve.

I have done some editing recently, but haven't been able to write much. I am trying again, but all I ask is that you respect any delays for what they are—grief.

Thank you so much for your continued support….


	27. Forgetting

Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow

Chapter 26: Forgetting

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Gilmore Girls or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don't make any money from these stories, and write purely for your enjoyment and mine.

* * *

When Buffy woke up the next morning, she was acutely aware of the fact that she wasn't in her own bed. For a few, mind numbing moments, she stared around at her surroundings and tried to piece the events of last night together, in an attempt to come up with a timeline.

It felt like someone had taken a jackhammer to her head, and she was concerned that her head might actually split open at any moment. Why, oh why, did she drink so much? Drinking must be like pregnancy, she thought, if you remembered clearly what a hangover felt like (like childbirth) you would never do it again. Somehow the body made you forget the pain, so that you lived to get shit faced another day.

And drinking was stupid. It was meant to help one bare the pain of something, and yet drinking too much made you forget that for a few blissful hours you weren't in pain. It was an endless merry-go-round of cause and effect.

Buffy buried her head under the nearest pillow, wishing it were a rock she was crawling under. As she lay there with her eyes squeezed shut, she began to take deep breaths. She concentrated on each breath as she drew it in, held it, and then slowly let it out. And as she continued this exercise, her senses caught something she had missed before. Inhaling deeply, Buffy smelled the scent of lavender. It was faint, but it was there, in the sheets.

The smell was oddly familiar. And then, with striking clarity, she realized that the scent belonged to one Lorelai Gilmore. Buffy raised her head from beneath the pillow and pushed the mop of bangs off her face. She peeked over her shoulder to the spot beside her. With a laugh of relief, she realized she was alone. If her head weren't killing her, she would have laughed at those silly thoughts that went through her head. Of all houses to worry waking up to someone in, Lorelai's shouldn't be included in that.

With a groan, Buffy pushed her blankets aside and stumbled, somewhat ungracefully, out of the bed. In fact, if it weren't for the bedside table, she would have done a face plant into the ground. Buffy gripped the table's edge until her knuckles turned white. The room was spinning around her and she couldn't get her eyes to focus on any single object.

With a deep breath she attempted to move her feet in the direction of the bathroom. She put one foot in front of the other and swayed to the side. The room was shaking so much. Buffy covered her face with her hands, as her body began to tremble.

Something wasn't right. She had been drunk and hung-over many times before, and she had never felt like this. She didn't even drink that much to warrant so much as a headache. And yet, the room shook with a violence that took her breath away. She felt like she was sinking and being pulled up at the same time; being pulled left and right at the same time.

Buffy's legs gave out and she landed on all fours on the floor. " Buffy?" Said a far away voice. Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but found that she couldn't form any words.

She could hear the faint sound of the door being opened and then a concerned voice from the left of her. Buffy was trying to say she was ok, but the only sound that came out was a low groan.

"Buffy?! Buffy, are you all right? What's wrong?" came Lorelai's voice.

Buffy felt Lorelai's hands on her shoulders as she tried to pull her to her feet. "I'm ok," Buffy said weakly. "I….I just need to splash some water on my face."

"What happened? You look as white as a ghost Buffy," Lorelai asked. " Are you going to be sick?"

"I couldn't tell ya," Buffy said, with a weak laugh. Buffy leaned her weight against Lorelai as she pulled herself up onto her feet. Lorelai put one arm around Buffy's waist and helped her walk to the bathroom.

"I have to go pick Rory up at Chilton," Lorelai said, " She went there this morning to get something for her assignment. Are you going to be alright here?"

"This morning?" Buffy said, rubbing her temples. " What time is it?"

"It's about 1 in the afternoon," Lorelai told her. " I thought I would let you sleep."

"Oh god, I didn't call home," Buffy said. " I haven't been home in a whole day. "

"Don't worry, I called Willow this morning," Lorelai told her. " They know that you are here."

Buffy smiled gratefully as she reached the bathroom. " Thanks Lorelai. I am just going to have a shower, if that's alright, and then I'll go."

"You can stay as long as you want. Have a shower and if you are here when I get back maybe we'll get some coffee or something. That's the great thing about having a scrooge like Luke in Stars Hollow—he is open on Christmas Eve." Lorelai laughed.

Buffy smiled and then a look of surprise flickered over her features. "It's Christmas Eve?! Oh my god, you must have plans. In fact, I think I have plans. Dawn is going to be so pissed."

Lorelai smoothed the hair off Buffy's face as she wet a face cloth and handed it to her. Buffy accepted gratefully and held the cold cloth against her clammy skin. The coolness was an instant relief. "Just take it easy. Christmas Eve spans the whole day, don't worry, you'll be home in time to celebrate."

Buffy managed to nod her head, and when Lorelai was convinced Buffy would survive, she said her goodbyes. Buffy heard the jeep roar to life and listened to the snow crunch under the tires as Lorelai drove away.

Buffy raised her head and looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. The moment she saw herself, she wished she hadn't looked. Her eyes were rimmed with red, her skin was as white as a sheet and her bangs were matted to her forehead.

The spins began to build again and she gripped the counter to keep upright. Her legs seemed to turn to jelly and she remembered the feeling of falling, feeling the ground come up fast beneath her. She felt pain spread throughout her body as she made contact with the floor, and then everything went black.

* * *

The town of Stars Hollow was a permanent picture opportunity. The town couldn't be more picturesque if it tried. It was hard to decide when it was most beautiful. Was it in the fall when the leaves had turned red, yellow or orange; in the summer when the fireflies lit up the sky; spring when the flowers bloomed or winter, when the snow covered the ground?

This was something Dawn was thinking about as she walked along the winding pathway through the park. She hadn't lived here long enough to compare the seasons, but wondered if it could be more beautiful than this. It took a while to adjust to the fact that snow was falling daily. Snow was still a luxury for her.

The town looked pristine, perfect and flawless. Dawn, however, knew the secret…appearances were deceiving. It wasn't that there weren't any problems; it's just that they were hidden under the snow. There were there, waiting for their moment to pop up and ruin everything.

Moving to Stars Hollow felt like a new life. She would get to go to a high school that was possessed with evil spirits that tried to kill her daily. For a brief moment, she had been naïve to think that she could attempt a normal life. She wasn't as against slaying as her sister was. For most of her life, she had tried to help slay with her sister. Dawn truly believed that they were doing good everyday, but that didn't stop her from hoping.

When Spike had come back, it had felt like a missing piece of the puzzle had come back. She felt like her family had come together. It was a crazy mixture, but it was the only family she had ever known. She loved Spike with every part of her being. A long time ago she had even had a crush on him, but now it was more of a brother/ sister relationship. It had been hard when everyone had been so against him. He had done horrible things, but no matter what, Dawn had always seen the good in him.

Lately she seemed to be 'Dawn be-friender of lost causes'. First Spike and now Jess. Jess was the ultimate outcast. All you had to do was mention his name in town and watch the responses you got. There was a symphony of eye rolling, snorts, whispers and phrases like "good for nothing" would come up.

And yet, Jess thrilled her in a way that she had only heard about from other people. One moment he would say something so sweet and the next he would be kissing her like someone who had just been released from jail. Dawn wished she had someone to talk to about it.

One of the best things about having a boyfriend (though she was unclear on whether they were boyfriend and girlfriend yet) was being all girly about it. She wanted to giggle about him with a friend and joke around about everything. She thought, maybe, that she and Buffy could do that. But Buffy was emotionally and physically distant lately.

Her friend Jenn was out of town for Christmas, on a holiday somewhere with her parents. If Jenn were here she would be giggling with her about it. Just then, Dawn felt her pants begin to vibrate. Digging into her jacket pocket she retrieved her phone and flipped it open.

The caller I.D. lit up with Jess' name and Dawn felt a smile spread across her face. "Hey!" she said brightly, trying to make sure she didn't sound like she had been dying for him to call her. Which, let's face it—she had.

"Hey," Jess replied, in his usual monosyllable way.

"So…what's up?' Dawn asked, lamely. She hated it when people called her and then made her do all the work.

"Nothing much, what about you?" Jess asked.

"Out for a walk," Dawn said. " Enjoying the snow."

"Snow," Jess repeated.

"Yeah, that white stuff that falls from the sky?" Dawn said, sarcastically.

"You're a funny girl," Jess replied evenly.

"So what's up Jess?" Dawn asked. " I feel like I am pulling teeth here." She was starting to get annoyed now. She really liked the guy, but this was ridiculous. This was why she never knew where she stood with him. One moment he really seemed to want her and in the next moment she seemed to be a chore.

"I miss you," he replied easily. Dawn felt her cheeks go hot despite the cold, as she bit her lips to keep the girlish giggle away. All the confusion always seemed to melt away when he said things like that.

"I miss you too," Dawn, said. The warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, agreed with that sentiment. Dawn wrapped her free arm around herself to keep warm.

"So how important is this lone walk to you?" Jess asked. From the tone of his voice, Dawn could just picture the lazy, cocky grin that was on his face right now.

"What are you proposing?" Dawn asked

"That you turn around," Jess said. And this time his voice was coming from right behind her.

Dawn spun around and there he was. His phone was still pressed to his ear, his hand in his pocket and that cocky smile on his face. Dawn couldn't help but grin like an idiot as the butterflies in her stomach started a wild dance.

"That's pretty creepy," Dawn, informed him, as she playfully slapped his shoulder. " But I'll let it go considering you braved the snow and all."

"That's very big of you," Jess said. He flipped his phone shut and returned it to his pocket as Dawn did the same. Without speaking, Jess reached out and put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her forward. Dawn barely had a moment to say anything, before Jess' lips crushed against hers.

Even after a few make out sessions, Dawn still had to remind herself to kiss him back. As badly as she wanted to be kissing him all the time, the act of it still caused her to spaz out and loose all ability to make her lips move. Fortunately, in these circumstances, her body seemed to understand what to do. Her body gravitated towards him naturally, and she pressed herself against him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Jess' hands went around her waist and held her tightly against him. He playfully bit her lips and nibbled along her jaw until she was giggling. Jess pulled away with a grin on his face. "Well, now that I got what I came for," he said, as he feigned turning away.

"Hey!" Dawn said, grabbing onto his arm. Jess laughed as he swung around and grabbed her around the waist, pulling them into a walk. Dawn wrapped her arm around his waist and laid her head against his shoulder as they began a leisurely walk through the trees.

Dawn drew in a breath and let it out slowly; delighted at the way their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly as they walked.

Winter, she decided, was definitely the best.

* * *

"And he was standing right behind you!?! Besides the fact that's a little creepy….awwwwww."

Dawn giggled, as she leant back against the sofa. She had the phone tucked against her shoulder and a bowl of popcorn rested in her lap. "Yeah, but so sweet. "

"You are so lucky Dawn," Jenn said, sighing in to the receiver.

"So I am guessing that there are no hotties in aspen?' Dawn said.

"No, my parents seem to have picked the one time of year where the hotties have flown south for the winter," Jenn said wistfully.

"Awww…muffin," Dawn said, trying to be as sympathetic for her friend.

"Awwww…cupcake," Jenn mimicked. " Nice try, but it would sound more convincing if you weren't all giggly with teenage lust and all."

Dawn collapsed into giggles. " Sorry. I do wish that you were with someone too!"

"I know you do, but it seems like I'm the girl that Santa Claus forgot this year," Jenn replied.

"You've only been there a couple of days," Dawn, said. " And the fact that you haven't left the hotel suite might be a problem."

"Dude, they have a mini bar that has better food than my fridge at home!" Jenn laughed.

"Well ok, but you are going to have to venture out there sometimes. Be a ski bunny, hit the slopes…and all that skiing lingo."

"Alright. Hang ten!" Jenn said.

" I think that's surfing," Dawn replied.

"Right," Jenn said slowly. " Well, then….I don't know. Bye."

Dawn left. " I will see you in a couple of days. Have fun!"

Dawn replaced the receiver. "Look at the nibblet," came Spike's voice.

Dawn looked up and found Spike standing in the doorway of the living room. "What?" Dawn asked innocently.

"You're all a fluster with the whole puppy love," Spike said with a wicked grin.

"Am not," Dawn insisted. She wished people would stop pointing out the fact that she was smiling. No one seemed so concerned when she smiled before.

Spike crossed the room and took a seat on the armchair across from her. " You hear from Buffy yet?"

Dawn's face became solemn. " No. Willow talked to Lorelai earlier, and supposedly she spent the night there. I don't know when she's coming home. It's Christmas Eve, it just doesn't feel the same without her here."

"I'm sure Buffy will be along shortly. She wouldn't miss this," Spike said, though he didn't sound so sure.

Dawn looked over at the bare Christmas tree in the corner. Earlier, she and Xander had bought some decorations for it but they were waiting to decorate until they were all together. The way it was going, the tree would remain bare until New Years.

Xander entered the room with a third box of decorations and set them down with the others. He stood back and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. " Well, we're halfway there. Why don't you say we deck the halls with crap loads of tacky decorations?" He asked Dawn.

Dawn put her bowl of popcorn on the table and pulled the blanket over her. " Buffy isn't here yet."

"She will be here soon Dawnie, why don't we start?" Xander asked.

"Why don't we just wait?" Dawn asked. " It's tradition to decorate it when we're all together."

Giles entered the room then, carrying a mug of tea with him. "You haven't decorated yet?" He asked, as he caught the sight of the bare tree.

"Lil' Bit wants to wait for her big sis," Spike said.

Giles nodded his understanding, and didn't press the issue further. Dawn pulled aside the curtains and looked out to the street in hopes to see the figure of her sister walking up the front steps. There was nobody out there.

Dawn pulled the blanket over her shoulders and plumped up the pillow under her head.

"She will show," Xander repeated, not sure of what else to say to reassure her.

"Yeah, yeah," Dawn said, rolling her eyes, " because Buffy's timing is impeccable."

Just then the front door opened. Everyone waited as the sounds of shoes being kicked off and keys jingling filled the air. Then Buffy appeared in the doorway looking like death.

Xander shook his finger at her, " Lucy, you have some 'splainin' to do!"

"Cool it Ricky Ricardo," Buffy muttered, as she shrugged out of her coat.

"What the hell happened to you?" Dawn said, jumping to her feet.

"I spent the night at Lorelai's," Buffy explained. " I needed some time to myself."

"Buffy, could I have a minute?" Giles said. It was in the form of a question, but Buffy didn't miss the undertone that made it a demand.

"Not now Giles," Buffy said, running her fingers through her matted hair. " I'm feeling like crap and would very much like to sleep now."

"But it's Christmas!" Dawn protested. " We have to decorate the tree!"

"Can't we do that later?" Buffy asked.

"Later when?" Dawn said. " Boxing day? We're sorta hit the end of the line on laters."

"Dawn…" Buffy began.

"Look I know things are crappy for you with all this Kate and Spike stuff," Dawn spat out. Everyone looked down at the ground at that statement, except for Buffy who glared at her younger sister even as her cheeks flushed red.

"But you can't just pull away every time something goes wrong!" Dawn pointed out. " It's Christmas! We should be decorating the tree, eating too much food and singing stupid Christmas carols! Does everything always have to be put on hold for you and your breakdowns!!!"

Dawn's voice cracked as she neared the end of her outburst, and in her embarrassment, she fled the room before anyone could stop her. Buffy hung her head as Dawn's words circled around her head. Buffy lifted her head and found that everyone was staring at her. Great, she thought bitterly, everyone seemed to agree with Dawn.

Giles cleared his throat, and then gestured for Buffy to follow him. The fight had gone out of her and so she followed without question.

Xander looked to Spike. " I'll go on Dawn patrol, you start dinner."

"I don't bloody cook," Spike said.

"Come on Spike," Xander said. " Think of it as helping out. It's something that considerate people do."

"I am considerate," Spike replied. " Considerate enough tell you that you are a ponce. I will go on Dawn patrol and you can be Martha bloody Stewart."

"I've got Dawn patrol," Xander protested.

Spike got to his feet and as he passed Xander, he patted him on the shoulder. "I like my meat rare Martha," Spike said with a grin.

"Dawn likes me better," Xander said.

"Too right she does," Spike said sarcastically. " She's my nibblet."

"She's my Dawnster," Xander protested. The two of them were now standing inches apart, sizing the other one up.

"Spike?!" Willow called from the kitchen. " Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Too bad," Xander said in mock sympathy as he turned and bounded up the stairs.

* * *

Xander knocked on Dawn's bedroom door and waited until he heard the soft reply of 'yes?' before he entered. Dawn was curled up on her bed, facing the window. She didn't even stir when Xander sat down on the side and stroked her hair from her face.

"What's up Dawnster?" Xander asked affectionately.

Dawn shrugged her shoulders and remained silent.

"Buffy's having a rough go," Xander explained. " You just have to be patient with her."

Dawn flipped onto her back and looked up at Xander with an indignant look of her face. " We're all going through something Xand! But we're still here, some of us are still trying to be normal."

"I know," Xander agreed as he rubbed her back soothingly. " But Buffy's the slayer who had a chance to be done. And now she is pulled back in. Not only that, but her ex beastie is having a magical baby with his centuries old true love. Let's face it—Spike is more on his way to a normal life than any of us are." Xander frowned, suddenly looking very depressed at that thought.

Dawn remained quiet for a moment, trying to see it from Buffy's point of view. " I know that Buffy is having a tough time and I feel really bad for her. She's my sister and I love her…but it's Christmas, Xander. At Christmas we should be happy and be together."

"I know," Xander agreed," Why don't we just give her a second to get her self together and then she'll be ok to help us decorate that mammoth tree downstairs." He chuckled at the last bit, trying to make her smile.

Dawn nodded. She didn't really think that Buffy would be up to decorating, no matter how long she waited, but she agreed anyway. It wasn't Xander's fault that Buffy was once again pulling away from them, and Dawn appreciated that he was trying to make her feel better.

Xander planted a kiss on the top of her head before heading back downstairs.

* * *

Once alone, Dawn grabbed the picture from her beside table. The picture was taken in Rome at on of the many parks near their apartment. It had been a beautiful sunny day. She and Buffy had gone for a picnic by themselves.

It had been such a great day. In the picture Buffy and Dawn had their arms around each other and their faces were pressed together with big grins on their faces. They were genuine smile too, which had been so rare.

When they had gone to Rome after the defeat of the First, Giles had begun to set up a new council. And Buffy, who was never big on being structured, threw herself into helping Giles. She helped train and house potentials, took care of the Rome based station while he was away and learned to be happy again. Genuinely happy. Because, for once, she had a choice in what she did.

Dawn knew her sister had her sad moments when she thought of Spike, but in general she was content. Their relationship strengthened and Dawn had grown into her own.

And now Buffy seemed broken again. It was as though the last year didn't happen. Dawn understood Buffy better than Buffy would believe and she knew her big sister was in pain. The selfish need in Dawn just wished Buffy could pull herself together enough to enjoy a normal Christmas.

Dawn closed her eyes, opting for sleep as n escape, when she heard something at the window. Her eyes snapped open and her heart dropped into her stomach.

Dawn sat upright and stared—unblinking—at her window. Several terrifying moments went by before another shape hit against the window and exploded.

Confused, Dawn walked over to the window and peered below. There, with an amused grin on his face, Jess stood below, waving his gloved hand. Dawn was torn between bursting into giggles of relief and tearing him a new one for scaring her.

But then he started doing a crude mime of what she could only assume, was what he had planned for her.

Dawn grabbed her coat and headed downstairs. She yelled out that she was going out for a bit and was out the door before anyone could answer.

Jess was waiting on the sidewalk, his arms tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket. Dawn walked over to him and slugged him in the shoulder. " You can't knock like a normal person? You scared the crap out of me!!!"

Jess smiled as Dawn's face turned red. " You're cute when you're mad," Jess said.

Dawn was silent for a moment, trying very hard not to smile. " So what do you want?"

"To see you," Jess said easily.

"Well that's not fair," Dawn, said with a playful pout.

"I brought you something," Jess said, as he pulled a small black box from his pocket. " I was going to give it to you tomorrow, but I'm supposed to go see my mom tomorrow."

"You brought me a present?" Dawn asked, as she stared at the box. Then that last part of his sentence hit home. " You are going out of town?"

"Liz wants to see me," Jess said. " I think its part of her guilt trip. She figures seeing me at Christmas will make up for her being an absent parent. Luke is taking me out there, so I said I would go. Might as well get it over with."

"Well, this is a good start in making it up to me," Dawn smiled, as she took the box in her hands. She unlaced the ribbon and pulled off the lid. Inside was sterling silver ID bracelet. It had the initials JM + DS and the year. Dawn stared at the bracelet, running her fingers over the initials with a look of disbelief on her face.

"Do you like it?" Jess asked. " You don't like it. I can take it back."

He reached for the box, but Dawn held it out of his reach. Before Jess could say anything else, Dawn threw her arms around him and hugged him to her. Jess smiled against her hair, as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing them tightly together.

"I love it! You have no idea how much I needed something like that right now," Dawn whispered. She buried her head in his neck and closed her eyes. Jess ran his hands up and down her back as they began to gently sway in each other's arms.

"So does that mean we are doing the whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing?" Dawn asked timidly.

"And what do you mean by "doing"," Jess asked suggestively.

Dawn giggled. " You know what I mean."

"I know what I want you to mean," Jess replied as he hugged her a little tighter.

"Are we official and all title having?" Dawn said.

"You funny speak," Jess replied, even though his voice was thick with sarcasm.

"Fine," Dawn said, pulling out of his arms gently. " Don't answer me Dodgey McDodgerson."

"Yes, we are boyfriend and girlfriend," Jess said painfully. " You know how much I hate titles."

"I do," Dawn, agreed with a smile, " but thanks for saying so."

Dawn stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips firmly against his. His lips were chilled from the air and she felt tiny electric shocks run through her body. Just minutes into their kiss Dawn couldn't remember, for the life of her, what she had been so upset about moments before.

* * *

Buffy stood under the hot spray of the shower and she wished that she could stay in there forever. Just her and the—almost uncomfortably—hot water that cascaded down her tired limbs. She felt as though she had fought a battle in her sleep.

Giles had given her—yet another—of his speeches, which Buffy just nodded along too. She knew that she had a job to do, a world to save, problems to push deep inside while she pretended that she was fine. And after this shower, she planned to do just that. The spell must have worked. When she thought of Spike, she couldn't feel that intensity she had just the other night. Only, it hadn't been the big relief she thought it was going to be. Ashley had warned her about the emptiness that might follow. The emptiness felt like it was crashing her. It was getting better though, and soon she would be able to function normally.

Buffy lathered her hair with the tantalizing scent of vanilla and had a brief moment of peace. She would hold onto that moment and try to keep it with her as long as possible.

Buffy wrapped herself in a big fluffy terrycloth robe, and headed into her bedroom. Only the little bedside table lit her room as she entered. Her mouth opened in an 'O' of surprise when she found Dawn sitting cross-legged on her bed.

Buffy stopped and shot Dawn a guilty smile. " Hey Dawnie," Buffy said quietly. She hoped that Dawn didn't have a go at her. She deserved to be yelled at after what she did, but the fight had gone out of her.

Dawn looked just as tired as she looked down at her lap as she replied. " Hey."

"Did you come to yell?" Buffy asked, as she towel dried her hair.

"That depends," Dawn, said, picking at the imaginary lint on her jeans. " Would you yell back?"

"The way I'm feeling? Probably not," Buffy answered.

"Then it's no fun," Dawn said with a tiny smile. " So no, I'm not going to yell."

"Thanks," Buffy replied, as she began to pull the brush through her hair.

Dawn watched the pain pass over Buffy's face as she hit tangle after tangle. Even the act of brushing her hair seemed to tire her out. "Here," Dawn said, reaching for the brush."

Buffy looked up in surprise, but handed Dawn the brush. Dawn patted the space on the bed next to her and waited expectantly for Buffy to sit. Buffy did and closed her eyes as Dawn began to gently brush her hair.

"Usually this is the other way around," Buffy said quietly.

"You just looked tired," Dawn, answered.

"Thanks," Buffy replied sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," Dawn said. "So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"What do you…" Buffy began, before Dawn cut her off.

"Don't even try that," Dawn interrupted. " So tell me what's wrong?"

Buffy sighed. " I'm just tired Dawn. Tired and still a little shocked with a dash of confusion thrown in there somewhere."

"I understand," Dawn, said. " Believe it or not I understand the exhaustion, and shock and confusion. Not to the same extent, but I get it. It must be hard for you to have Spike here. I guess I never realized how much you actually cared about him."

Buffy nodded. " Well, I guess I just miss having someone care about me, and with Spike I was so close to feeling that…you know, before he upped and died saving the world—which by the way—is clearly my thing."

Dawn chuckled quietly. " But how are you feeling now?"

Buffy shrugged. She didn't want to explain to Dawn what she had done. That was another story for another time. It would just worry Dawn and start another discussion on why Buffy did the things she did.

"I am feeling better," Buffy said. " I mean it was what it was. It's hard, but I have a job to do and a life to get back to. I'm tired of feeling lost and everything Dawn. It's time to jump back on the path."

"The sounds very Deepak Chopra of you sis," Dawn said.

Buffy nudged her. " Hey, I'm trying here."

"Sorry," Dawn said non-committing. " You know, you can talk to me about things Buffy. That's what sisters are for. I checked it's in the contract."

"I know you are," Buffy said. " It's just hard sometimes to share, share, share. I am a bottle it up inside and kick ass, kinda girl."

"I know. And as healthy as THAT is," Dawn laughed," Just because I am your little sister, doesn't mean I'm little anymore. I understand these things."

"Now that you are all kissy face with that Jess guy," Buffy said.

"Hey, I asked you to stop calling him ' that Jess guy' remember?" Dawn sighed. "And I've always understood things. I've seen the Real World."

"If you are getting your sex Ed from that show, then you have GOT to stop seeing this—Jess, now," Buffy said.

"Ok, ok. I was kidding, calm down," Dawn said.

"Are you happy Dawnie?" Buffy said, her voice taking on a serious note.

"Yeah," Dawn answered.

"With Jess and everything? Any questions?" Buffy asked, trying to keep her voice even without letting the awkwardness come in.

"Well….there is one thing," Dawn answered, as she paused in her brushing.

"Yeah?" Buffy asked, turning to face her.

"Well," Dawn said, staring down at the comforter, before looking back at her sister. " Is it really true that a massage always has to lead to sex? Cause Jess said …."

The look of horror on Buffy's face did it. Dawn burst into giggles, grabbing onto her stomach. "That was horrible," Buffy said, as she swatted Dawn's arm.

"The look on your face…."Dawn said between giggles as she gasped for breath.

"So much for you being adult enough to have serious conversations eh?" Buffy said, as she took the brush off Dawn, and got to her feet.

"Sorry," Dawn said, as her giggles subsided.

Buffy smiled at her sister over her shoulder, as she searched the drawer for her PJ's. "So what are you doing now?" Dawn asked. " Going to bed?"

Buffy tossed her PJ's on the end of the bed. " I was thinking some hot chocolate and marshmallows as we decorate the tree."

A huge smile spread across Dawn's face, as she jumped off the bed. In a matter of seconds she had crossed the room and thrown herself into her sister's arms. " Oh Buffy, thank you!" she said, feeling the happiness bubble up inside of her.

Buffy found herself smiling too as she hugged her sister. And for the first time in a couple of days, the smile wasn't forced.

* * *

Author's Note: I was recently nominated at the SunnyD awards for this story!! Which thrilled me more than I thought it would have. haha I was so surprised and completely shocked. Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews. If you didn't, I wouldn't have written for so long.

So check out the SunnyD awards website and please vote between July 25th and August!!!!!!!!!! 


	28. You Can't Lose What You Don't Have

27

Can't Lose, What You Don't Have

Buffy pulled the blanket further over her knees and curled up into the crevice of the couch, with her head rested on a pillow. The room was dark except for the glow of hundreds of twinkling white lights coming from the Christmas tree.

Even after dragging herself down the stairs (if only for Dawn's benefit), she couldn't help but feel uplifted by the sight of the Christmas tree. She watched her friends stand around the tree—decorations hanging from their hands as they searched for an open space. Each of them had a smile on their face as they burst into spontaneous Christmas carols, which were sung loudly, and somewhat off key.

Spike—for reasons Buffy could only conclude had something to do with her—had stayed away from the festivities. When she'd come downstairs she had heard Willow tell Dawn that Spike had gone out for a walk.

Still, Buffy felt somewhat peaceful. She watched her friends through heavy lidded eyes, as she balanced her mug of hot chocolate on her knee.

"Hey, stop bogarting the tree, Will!" Xander exclaimed, as he tried to squeeze himself closer to the tree.

Willow laughed as she elbowed him back as they wrestled for the same spot. "I have Santa! We all know Santa should be above the reindeer," she giggled.

"There are no rules when it comes to the decorating Christmas trees!!! It's every man for himself."

"Or women," Willow added, with an indignant look on her face.

"Yeah. A JEWISH women," Xander said, stressing the word 'Jewish'. " You can't have Hanukkah and Christmas!"

"I don't want to be all left out!" Willow said.

"Then start playing nicely with the Christians," Xander said.

"That's not very P.C. of you," Willow pointed out, as she hung her decoration when Xander was distracted.

"Ah, go play with your dredel," Xander said under his breath.

"That is the last…." Willow began, muttering under her breath.

"Would the two of you cut it out?" Dawn asked, though she smiled as she said it, secretly loving the mock fight going on between them.

Xander reached out to hang the decoration, but drew his hand back almost immediately. " Ah Will…."

"Yes?" Willow said lightly, as she bent to pick up another decoration.

"Would you mind telling me what's going on here?" Xander asked, as he held out his hand.

Dawn paused in her decorating to look over. " It appears to be a decoration in your hand," Willow answered easily.

"No. No. " Xander said. " No. It's not in my hand. It's ATTACHED to my hand!" And he demonstrated this, by shaking his hand vigorously as the decoration bobbed up and down on his hand.

Dawn covered her mouth as a laugh escaped. Willow beamed. " Well, next time you won't make fun of my religion."

"I am very, very sorry," Xander said, " Now get it off."

Willow shrugged as she waved her hand over Xander's. There was a ripping sound and a grunt of pain as the decoration fell to the floor. Even Willow winced. " Oops, sorry."

"Damn it. That's my tree decorating hand, Will!" Xander said, as he hugged his hand to his chest. "You put it on there magically, why not remove it magically?"

"Because it doesn't give me that deep seated gratification feeling I love….that, and the ripping sound was kinda nifty," Willow added, a guilty smile on her face.

Xander muttered something under his breath, and then quickly headed to the kitchen before something else magically appeared glued to his body.

Buffy stared at the lights on the tree, until they started to blur and streak her sight with colors of white and gold. She used to stare at the past Christmas trees the same way, allowing her eyes to become lazy, creating a beautiful blur of colors.

"What do you think?" Dawn asked her sister. She peeked up at Buffy, worried that her sister hadn't enjoyed their time together as much as she had.

Buffy gave her sister's shoulder a squeeze and smiled. " I had a great time, Dawnie."

Later that night, after everyone went to bed, Buffy lay on the couch in the living room. She was curled up on the sofa with her favorite blanket pulled up to her chin as she stared at the Christmas tree. After a late dinner, Buffy had fallen asleep on the sofa. She didn't remember being, or feeling tired…and yet, it was as though sleep had claimed her without her permission. Dawn had shaken her awake an hour later, so that they could play the traditional game of charades.

Dawn couldn't believe the change in her sister. Buffy was just as goofy as the rest of them. She laughed loudly at Xander's wild interpretation and sometimes-crude mime of Gone with the Wind. It was like having the sister she did in Rome.

And after the night she had, Buffy lay there, feeling pleasantly blissful as she stared at the creation in front of her. She felt like there was warmth radiating out of her and she wanted to hold this moment tight and never let it go. The sound of the clock ticking by the minutes, made her start to lull off to sleep. And then she heard a noise outside the house.

Buffy sat upright, alert to her surroundings. She concentrated, as the sound seemed to move towards the front door. Buffy leant over and reached under the couch, never taking her eyes from the door. Her fingers traced the soft fabric of the carpet, until her fingers brushed something hard. Wrapping her fingers around it, she pulled a stake up into her lap.

Slowly she swung her legs onto the ground, holding the stake to the side of her. Creeping, silently, she moved towards the door. She heard a deep voice outside, and a scratching sound on the door. Positioning herself between the hallway and the living room, she hid.

Finally the front door swung open, and without hesitation, Buffy threw herself at the figure. Both of them fell against the opposite wall. She held her forearm against their throat and positioned her stake over the heart.

"Bloody hell!" came a reply.

The light flooded in from the porch light, over the startled vampire's face.

"Mind letting me go luv, I'm already going to have a headache tomorrow," he groaned.

Buffy could smell the alcohol wafting off him in waves. She wrinkled her nose in disgust, but didn't let up her grip on him.

Spike reached out," What's with the stake? What if it was some Stepford town person coming to borrow a cup of sugar?" He joked, trying to push the stake away from its position over his dead heart.

Buffy remained still. Spike's brow furrowed in a mix of confusion and annoyance. In the small amount of light allotted, Spike realized something he didn't notice before. The petite vampire slayer showed absolutely no sign of recognition.

"Buffy, are you alright?"

"How do you know my name?" She asked, between clenched teeth. " How do you have a key to my house?"

"You ….er…gave it to me," he said, his eyes darting from the stake to her, to the stake, to her. " Would you mind moving that away?"

Buffy applied a little pressure to the stake, pushing its tip into the muscle beneath. Spike grunted in pain. "Go wake up Red or the nibblet or the poofter, and they will tell you. You must be under a spell or something?"

"Red, nibblet and poofter?" Buffy said, her voice oozing sarcasm. " Who are they? A demented version of the seven dwarfs for vampires.?"

"Go get Willow," Spike said, keeping his voice calm. He could most likely get away from her. But in the second it took him to make a move, that stake would be embedded in his heart. For now, she was interested in him coming into her house. She might have a spell on her, but she seemed to hesitate enough, that he might be able to talk her around. _Now, if only I was good at the talking thing_, he thought.

The mention of Willow's name caused a reaction. " How do you know Willow?"

"Buffy, someone has put a spell on you or something. I live here. Just go get Willow and she will tell you the truth."

" I think I know the truth when I see it," Buffy said.

Spike rolled his eyes. " Well, you'd think…"

Buffy tightened her grip once more, but then took a step back. " Fine, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and get Willow."

Spike rubbed his raw throat. " Great…."

"Good," Buffy added. "But first…" She pulled back her hand and punched him hard enough to knock him unconscious.

Moments later Willow, Dawn and Xander stumbled sleepily down the stairs. Buffy waited in the entranceway with her arms folded over her chest.

"What is going on?" Dawn yawned, her eyes barely open.

"Yeah, did Santa come already?" Xander muttered.

Willow entered the living room first, and stopped immediately. " What the hell?"

Xander and Dawn joined her in looking confused and shocked. "Is this like some new Christmas game?" Xander asked, unable to take his eyes off the unconscious form of Spike tied to a chair in the middle of the living room.

Xander began to walk slowly around the chair, his finger pressed against his mouth, looking deep in thought. " It's a little crude, a tad confusing….but it has potential."

Dawn walked up to Spike, placed her fingers along his jaw line and gently turned his head to the side. Blood had already dried on the side of his head from the long cut along his temple. She turned to Buffy, her eyes narrowed in accusation. " Did you beat him up?"

Buffy straightened. She looked between her sister and Spike. " Do you know him? He is a vampire Dawn."

"Yes," Dawn began slowly. Now it was her turn to look confused. " Has been for over a hundred years now. What is going on?"

"I know you're upset Buffy, but beating the guy into unconsciousness is a little much," Willow added.

"And not nearly as funny as I thought it would be," Xander answered.

"I don't understand you guys! He is a vampire and you are acting like we're friends or something."

"That's too far," Xander said.

"Well how do you expect me to react?" Buffy said, the anger growing.

"No, I meant the friends part," Xander corrected.

Dawn nudged Xander with her elbow. "It's Spike. The same Spike that has lived here for a couple of weeks. The same Spike that was with us in Sunnydale….what are you doing?"

" I think you are the ones that are doing something," Buffy said lamely. " He got into our house! In the middle of the night."

"With his key!" Dawn retorted. " He lives here!"

Everyone went quiet as they heard a whisper in the center of the room. Spike's head jerked up, pain etched on his face.

Dawn returned to his side. "Spike? Are you ok?"

"Dawn, get away from him," Buffy shouted, as she pulled Dawn away.

Dawn shook her off. " What is your deal?"

"She's…..u…under a spell," Spike muttered, between swollen lips.

Everyone turned to look at Buffy, as if they might be able to see the spell on her somehow. Buffy put her hands on her hips and attempted to look as confident as possible. But it was started to disappear quickly. She looked between her friends and Spike. If they all seemed to know who he was, and he knew who she was…it was a sure bet, that she was the one under a spell after all.

The vampire in question could probably have attacked her if he wanted too. " A spell? But how? You guys were with me all night."

Dawn looked at Willow. Willow frowned. " Hey! It's not always me you know. If I remember right you cast a spell gone wrong a couple of times yourself their miss."

Xander chuckled.

Dawn looked at Xander, " So have you!"

"Hey!" Xander exclaimed. " Once! Or….well, twice. And no one here is homicidally attracted to me or serenading me, so it's safe to say, it ain't me!"

"Do you remember anything?" Dawn said. " I mean you remember us. And Rome….and Sunnydale right?"

Now Buffy looked frustrated. " Yes, Dawn, I remember all that. I just don't know who this is."

"Have you gone to see anyone lately?' Willow asked.

"Or made a wish?" Xander said.

"Vengeance demon?" Dawn suggested.

"No, no." Buffy said, shaking her head. " I…. it's a little blurry. "

"Where were you today?" Willow asked. " Or earlier this morning when you left the house?"

"Ummmm…I remember walking. I…I went to see Lorelai and slept there."

"Anywhere in between?" Willow asked.

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to retrace her steps. Then her eyes snapped open. " Ashley," she said suddenly. " I went to see Ashley."

Willow frowned, clearly upset about hearing the name. " What did you guys talk about?"

Buffy shook her head. " I don't remember."

" Well, I guess we need to call Ashley," Willow said.

"I'm making coffee," Xander said, heading towards the kitchen. " Looks like another long night."

Less than an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Willow was relieved for the interruption, which gave her some time away from the tension in the room. Spike, now untied, was sitting the armchair still angry from the beating. Dawn held a bag of frozen peas to the bump on his head, even though he protested.

Buffy sat curled in the armchair, with a fleece blanket pulled over her lap. She was beginning to look a little mollified in having beat up a potential friend. Every once in awhile, she would glance over at him, as if each time she saw his face would bring some semblance of a memory back to her.

Willow pulled her robe tighter around herself, as she pulled open the front door. Ashley stood on the porch, her face looking flushed from the cold. She was breathtaking. Willow took a quick intake of breath, despite the fact she tried to remain cool. Would she always have this reaction around Ashley, despite everything?

Ashley's face broke into a nervous smile. "Willow. Hey, I'm so glad that you called."

Willow's brow furrowed. " I really wanted to talk to you about everything," Ashley continued.

Willow shook her head, and Ashley's sentence faded to a stop. " I…I didn't call you here to talk about us Ashley. I am not ready to talk about that now. I called you here because of Buffy."

Ashley's smile faltered. " Buffy?"

Willow rolled her eyes. " She's been affected by magic, Ashley. And yes, I know there is a big bad out there, but Buffy had an upsetting night and remembers going to your place during that time. Now, why would she go to a witch she barely knows when she's in turmoil, considering she has a witch right here….unless, of course, it's something she wants to keep hidden."

"I guess you got me," Ashley said, smiling coyly. " Can I come in? Or would you rather I become a frozen fixture on your porch?"

Willow stood back to allow her entry, and gestured for her to step inside the room. Ashley stepped inside, bringing with her the sweet smell of her sweet perfume. Willow shut the door behind her and followed her into the living room.

"Hey everyone," Ashley said cheerfully as she slipped out of her coat.

"Hey Ash," Dawn said, trying to sound just as cheerful. Only the presence of Ashley back in their living room just brought back the fact that they had all been kept in the dark for so long. Especially from Giles, who was supposed to be their go to guy. And he was supposed to be keeping them safe, not Brooke and Ashley.

Ashley took a seat next to Buffy. " Hey Buffy," Ashley said.

"What did you do to me?" Buffy asked.

" Nothing you didn't ask for chicky," Ashley said.

"She doesn't remember Spike," Dawn said.

Ashley looked a little sheepish. " Doesn't remember him at all?"

"Not a lick. And I have the bruises to prove it," Spike said.

"Oh…" Ashley trailed off, glancing down at her hands. " It was just supposed to be a masking spell. It was a little more proof than that, I guess."

"You guess?!?!?!? You just erased a person from her memory!" Willow said, raising her voice to an almost uncomfortable level.

Ashley winced, but threw her hands up in the air in defeat. " My emotions were all out of wack Will! I probably shouldn't have, but…"

"But what?" Buffy asked quietly.

"But you were in so much pain Buffy. You begged me, and I knew I probably shouldn't have done it with the way I was feeling. And my emotions mixed with it and it went too far. I'm sorry."

"What was the masking spell?" Dawn asked.

"Used to mask the pain associated with someone, make it bearable to function I guess. Buffy has an important job to do. She can't be nursing a heartache with what's coming."

"Her emotions have always been assets," Willow said. " Buffy has admitted this in the past."

"Probably still are," Ashley answered. " But….not that much pain. That much pain clouds the mind Willow. Surely you know that feeling?"

Willow felt her blood boil in her veins. Using her past pain back on herself was a low blow, no matter how true the sentiment was.

Ashley looked away quickly and turned back to Buffy. " I am really sorry for this Buffy. I will reverse it. I just need to get a couple of things and you should be back to normal in no time."

Buffy nodded. Her mind seemed to be somewhere completely elsewhere as she slowly got to her feet. Ashley followed suite and followed Buffy to the door. " I guess we are doing this now," Ashley said lightly as she reached for her coat.

"No time like the present," Willow said. She was leaning against the doorway, and said it over her shoulder to Ashley as she past by.

Ashley stopped in her tracks, and said quietly so that only Willow could hear. " One of these days, I will get to explain it to you. We tend to think we're ready for anything that comes." At this point Willow turned her head so that their faces were inches apart. Their eyes were staring into one another's. Ashley leaned a little closer, as though she were about to kiss her. " Believe me when I tell you Willow, this—you are not ready to hear."

Willow opened her mouth to respond, but the seriousness and weight behind Ashley's words seemed to still any words.

Ashley was gone before Willow could even try.

Buffy and Ashley didn't speak the entire way to her house. Ashley kept glancing over at her, but clearly Buffy's mind was elsewhere and so she remained quiet the entire way to her house. Once inside Ashley's apartment, Buffy began to pace around the room.

" So when did this happen?" Ashley asked. " I cast the spell over 24 hours ago and you guys are just calling me now?"

"I was fine tonight," Buffy said. " I mean I was having fun with my family and everything. And then I sorta fell asleep and when I woke up…I guess I didn't remember."

"Hmmmm….well, maybe the overdose took affect late, I can't be sure." Ashley said, hanging her coat on the hook. " Ok, let me just get some ingredients and we can start."

Ashley reached for a small wooden box on the dining room table, but Buffy walked up behind her and placed her hand over Ashley's. Ashley looked up in surprise. " Buffy?"

"Was I really in pain?" Buffy asked hesitantly.

Ashley hesitated. " From what you said, and the way you looked when you turned up here that night—yeah. A lot. You were confused, and exhausted and frustrated. I'm really sorry it worked out this way Buffy, but I felt for you. And to be honest, I was wishing I could forget my feelings for a certain redhead "

" I understand, or at least I'm sure I did," Buffy said. " If it's compared to anything I've felt in the past—then I don't want it back."

"What?" Ashley said.

"I don't want the memory of him back," Buffy said, her voice growing in confidence.

"Buffy, that's easy to say right now. I mean, there is no risk losing the memory of someone you don't know. But you did know him at one point. You did love him and he meant a lot. Losing that…."

"If he's an asset to the team, then I will get to know him all over again," Buffy said. " But this, I don't need unrequited love crap."

"So you are asking me to do nothing," Ashley said.

"Yes," Buffy said, slipping back into her jacket. " But my friends don't find out."

"Buffy, they are going to suspect something if you start blanking out on stuff. Why don't I reverse it and just try masking again."

"No, there's a chance it won't work," Buffy said. " Just leave it. As for my friends, I will tell them I just don't want to talk about it."

"Maybe you should talk to your friends," Ashley suggested.

"Ashley, please," Buffy said. " I have enough stuff to deal with."

"You can't cut a person out of your life," Ashley insisted.

"From the sounds of it, he cut me out of his," Buffy said. " This is what I want."

"This spell, this thing that happened to you," Ashley said. " Well, I don't know if it's permanent. It might not last."

Buffy paused. " I'll worry about that when it happens."


	29. POWER

28

POWER

* * *

Dawn stood back and crossed her arms over her stomach. Her smile was genuine and spread ear-to-ear, as she looked up at the Christmas tree for the millionth time that morning.

Buffy handed her a glass of eggnog as she came to stand beside her. Dawn raised the glass and took a sip, making the standard "MMMM…." Sound. "Perfect milk to eggnog ratio," Dawn replied, as she raised the glass to her lips again.

"It's an art," Buffy said with a simple shrug of her shoulders.

"I can't believe you mix your eggnog with milk," Xander said, with a quick shake of his head.

"Without it, it's too eggnog-gy," Dawn replied, with a wrinkle of her nose.

"No such thing!" Xander said, as he returned with his own glass. " Don't bastardize the eggnog tradition."

Dawn stuck out her tongue in her second grade, response. Xander came to stand beside Dawn and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Are we doing the group hug thing?" Willow asked, as she stared at the three of them, stood tightly together.

"Sure, why not?" Dawn said, and Xander hugged her closer with one arm and reached for Willow with the other.

The four of them stood closely together, their arms wrapped around one another as the soft sounds of Christmas carols filled the fire lit room.

"Well, well, seems I've walked into an after school special," came a voice from the hall.

The foursome broke apart, the spell broken as Spike entered the room. "Don't let me stop the group hug."

"Is captain peroxide jealous?" Xander asked, with a mock pout.

Spike made an offensive gesture before sinking into his usual armchair.

"Merry Christmas Spike," Dawn said, as she recovered a small box from under the tree.

A moment of surprise flitted over Spike's face. If he had the ability, he might have flushed pink. Spike reached out for the box and Dawn placed it in his palm, before standing back to watch.

Spike ripped off the tacky Christmas paper, and uncovered a small black box. He opened up the lid and found, nestled in black velvet, a sterling silver Zippo lighter.

He turned it over in his hand and found an engraving. " Spike, love your nibblet."

He looked up at Dawn, his mouth open to respond, but no sound came out. Dawn laughed awkwardly, " You should have seen the ladies face when I told her what to engrave."

Spike had remained quiet, his eyes flitting between Dawn and the lighter. Without a word, he was off the couch and had enfolded Dawn in a hug in moments. Dawn laughed as she returned the hug. The gesture snapped the rest of the scoobies out of their daze, and scattered them.

"Your welcome," Dawn said, after a moment.

"I feel like a right git," Spike muttered, " I didn't…."

"It doesn't matter," Dawn said, honestly.

"No…wait," Spike said, as he stepped back and began patting his pockets, as though a Christmas gift would appear there. He paused as he looked down at his hands. Without hesitation, he pulled his skull ring off his finger and handed it to her.

"This is your favorite," Dawn said, waving off the gift.

"So are you," Spike said, feeling lame.

"Now, you sound like an after school special," Dawn said lightly.

"I was just thinking that myself," Spike laughed.

"And considering how you feel about the majority of the scoobies, I don't know if it's a compliment," Dawn teased. " But I will take it. Thank you."

"Thank you," Spike repeated. "Let's test this shall we?"

He pulled a pack of Morley's out of his pocket and put a cigarette between his lips.

"Not in here," Willow protested, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth as she walked by.

Spike shrugged and pulled out another cigarette, as he headed to the backyard. Dawn heard the beep of her cell phone and went to retrieve it. It was a text message. From Jess. He was going to be back in town tomorrow, returning early from his trip, and he wanted to meet her.

* * *

"Good morning, Michel," Lorelai said, as she joined him at the reception desk.

Michel grunted and handed her the mail. " What is so good about it?" he muttered.

"Uh oh, looks like someone is the little man that Santa Claus forgot," Lorelai said in mock sympathy.

"You are a riot!" Michel added sarcastically, before heading to the kitchen.

Lorelai smiled as she shifted through the mail.

"Morning!" came a voice.

Lorelai looked up quickly, the mail falling through her fingers onto the floor. "Buffy! Hi. How are you?" she asked.

Buffy slipped off her jacket. " You mean after the –oh so embarrassing—drunken episode a couple of days ago? Just peachy and you?" She added a smile as she walked over to Lorelai.

Lorelai laughed. " We've all had our moments. That's the benefit of selective memory."

Buffy almost choked, before realizing that Lorelai couldn't know about what had happened. "For me," Buffy replied, " but what about you? How can I erase your memory of drunken Buffy?"

"You weren't that bad," Lorelai insisted. " Is everything ok with you and your friends?"

"I got the lecture, a hand slap, a little light flogging and we've decided to put it behind us."

"That's very mature of you guys—flogging aside," Lorelai added.

Buffy smiled. " So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well," Lorelai began, " It looks like we'll be planning a New Year's Eve party."

"More party? More planning? Did the humiliation of Christmas Eve, fade too early for you?" Buffy asked.

Lorelai laughed. " Yes, but after that little power outage that happened, it helped smooth things over with the guests."

"Right. Power outage," Buffy repeated verbatim. " Ok, so where do we start?"

"With a hearty breakfast," Lorelai said. She picked up her agenda book and gestured for Buffy to follow her.

Buffy could smell breakfast before she saw it. She found Sookie and Michel sitting around the island in the kitchen, surrounded by a feast.

"Sookie, this looks amazing!" Buffy said, even as her stomach grumbled unforgiving. When was the last time she had a good meal?

"Thank you, thank you," Sookie said, with a small bow. She handed Buffy a plate. " Eat up."

Buffy took a seat next to Lorelai, who was smiling at her. Buffy smiled back. It was, funny enough, the most normal she had felt in days. At least as far as she could remember.

* * *

Kate stood in front of the large full-length mirror. She turned to the side so she could see her profile.

Running her hands down her stomach, she pulled the fabric taunt over her stomach.

"Nothing showing yet?" Came a voice from behind her.

Kate gasped in surprise when she saw Brooke in the reflected image. Kate dropped her hands, flushing red.

"It's only been a month, technically, give it time and you'll soon be wishing for your body back," Brooke said.

"According to you guys, it's been a hundred years," Kate retorted. " It hasn't been only my body for a long time. Do you want something to drink?"

"Water would be great," Brooke replied.

Kate returned with two bottles of water. " Hey, I have a question for you?" Kate said, as she sank into the oversized armchair that Luke had brought her. She gestured for Brooke to take a seat.

"Just one question?" Brooke asked. " I was sure there would be more."

"One for now," Kate replied. " I understand the whole pregnancy on pause thing, but in this role I'm in now—as far as I know—I'm 24 years old, so how is it I'm a month pregnant?"

"When you arrived in Stars Hollow, about a month ago, technically, that was when you were "born" into this life. Those memories were planted. You've only been off pause—whole again—for that time. Letting you wander around for 24 years would have been reckless."

Kate digested this. " So before Stars Hollow, I was nothing. Asleep all this time?"

"Hey, we saved you from being in the first trimester for a hundred years."

"No wander I feel like shit most of the time," Kate replied.

"You have no idea," Brooke replied. " But it's also going to be such a great time—you know, except for the demons trying to constantly make you kill daddy."

"Except for that," Kate answered offhandedly. Then surprise flickered across her face. " You sound like you were talking from experience. Are you a mother?"

"I had a child, yes, " Brooke replied sadly.

"But is that even possible? How old are you?" Kate asked.

"Not possible? You, or all people, should know anything is possible. I am 25 years old in mortal years. These are just faces we wear Kate, not who we are. Faces change, not our souls."

Kate nodded slowly. " What happened? To your child, I mean."

Brooke cleared her throat loudly, looking pained as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. " She was taken away from me the moment she was born. I only held her briefly, before she was yanked from my arms."

"I'm so sorry," Kate responded, as her hands covered her belly on instinct.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't allowed a child. But I was in love."

"When was this?" Kate asked.

Brooke shook her head. " You said one question." She smiled sadly. " You should get some sleep, no point saving your life if that baby isn't healthy."

Kate got to her feet as Brooke did the same. " I'm sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't have pried."

"It's alright," Brooke assured her. " It's still painful to speak of—even after all these years. You get some sleep."

"Thanks for coming by," Kate said.

"Not a problem," Brooke answered. " Good bye."

Kate stood—silent in the empty loft—feeling like a complete and utter tool.

* * *

Dawn tugged the corner of her mitten back so that she could see her watch. 11:45. Jess was supposed to meet her almost an hour ago. And as pissed off as she felt, she still sat and waited. So who was the bigger idiot? Jess for making her wait, or her for waiting?

Dawn pulled her wool cap down on her head. He was definitely the idiot. She looked around her once more, giving him one last chance to show. The park was empty. Just her. With a sigh, she got to her feet and headed towards town.

" Dawn! Dawn!! Hey, wait up!!!!"

Dawn turned, stone-faced. She would not give in. She would not give in. But it wasn't her late boyfriend running towards her. Jenn came to a stop a few feet away.

"Wow, if looks could kill," Jenn said cautiously.

"Sorry," Dawn said. " I'm a little upset."

"Upset?" Jenn repeated, with a hint of sarcasm. " You look more like someone who just found out the world is going to end."

Dawn arched her eyebrow as she mumbled. " Not this week."

"Huh?" Jenn asked. Dawn shrugged and mumbled an excuse.

"I'm going to proceed with caution here," Jenn began," so don't bite my head off or anything—but could this possibly have something to do with tall, dark and James Dean?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. " That transparent, huh? I thought I was hiding it better."

"It wasn't you—just the huge storm cloud over top of your head that caused concern."

"He blew me off," Dawn muttered. " But I'm more mad at myself for being surprised. This is classic Jess! And I sat for almost an hour freezing my ass off….actually, on second thought—I am mad at Jess."

"He's probably playing hard to get," Jenn suggested. " He seems to love playing the mystery card, or the brooding car, or the rebel card.

"Well, if he keeps this up he will be playing solitaire with his cards." Dawn muttered. " Let's see how he likes being played with."

"That a girl!" Jenn chimed in as she linked arms with Dawn.

Dawn found herself smiling, despite her anger. Jenn chuckled under her breath.

"What?" Dawn asked.

"That solitaire analogy was horrible, Dawn."

"Hey, it's hard to think up witty comebacks!" Dawn giggled as she swatted Jenn playfully.

"I believe you, because that was painful," Jenn said. " It was hard to DEAL with."

"Ha, ha." Dawn replied. " You done?"

"No," Jenn laughed. " He should be DEALT with."

"Got it."

"What a Joker."

"Getting old."

"Sorry…Jack."

* * *

The Stars Hollow High campus was quiet as ever. With the Christmas holidays, even the teachers had finally finished all their work and remained at home, instead of making the journey to finish up loose ends.

One teacher, however, remained dutiful to the work. Or, she was trying to dodge visits from the potential ex. The heat had been turned off for the holidays and Willow had to wrap herself in a long cardigan to keep the chill away.

The snow was falling softly outside, and if it weren't for the inner turmoil she would find it all picture perfect. She crossed the classroom; the dull clicking of her boots on the floor filled the silent room. She held a hot cup of tea in one hand and a green folder, filled with lesson plans, in her other.

Willow needed to get out of the house and relax with something that would take her mind off of Ashley. Lesson plans she could handle, the latter, she could not.

She settled into the window seat and leant her back against the cool glass. She juggled her coffee as she adjusted into a comfortable position.

She took a sip of tea, holding it a moment in her mouth before letting the sweet taste of it ease her scorched throat. She set her mug down on the windowpane and opened her folder—spreading it over her jean-clad lap.

Everything about this afternoon was so normal, so tedious and yet she craved it. Her mind was always racing lately. And the added upset of Ashley's omissions didn't help ease her tension.

In theory, Willow understood perfectly. She understood why Ashley couldn't tell her. After all, it wasn't as though Willow had guarded secrets in the past before. But knowing that didn't help ease the ache in her gut every time she thought about it.

Willow rubbed her temples as the thoughts began to get fuzzy. A slight movement to her side caught her attention. Her heart leaped into her throat at the sight of Ashley standing there.

Ashley looked, as ever, breathtaking—even in an old ripped pair of jeans and a worn out hoodey. However, the confidence Ashley wore like a second skin seemed to be replaced by nervousness. Her hand was balled into a fist, in an interrupted knock.

"Hey," Ashley said, sheepishly. She lowered her hand and buried both of them into her front pocket.

Willow opened and closed her mouth several times before she could get any words out. It didn't come off very indifferent when the sight of Ashley still made her go all schoolgirl again.

Willow regained her sense of calm—or at least a fake version of the real thing, and broke eye contact first. " What are you doing here?" Willow asked.

She heard Ashley shuffle forwards a few steps before speaking. "Buffy said you would be here."

"Remind me to thank her," Willow muttered. Even to her own ears, Willow sounded cold. She tried to keep her voice indifferent, but found no matter what she said—it came out cold.

"So, we're still doing the indifferent act? The mature shrug off?" Ashley said, as she crossed the classroom and came towards the desk.

Willow got to her feet, allowing the folder and all it's papers to fall to the floor. Cursing under her breath, Willow dropped to her knees and began grabbing for her papers. "I can't keep shrugging you off when I've already shrugged you off permanently," Willow responded.

Ashley came forward to help her, but Willow stopped her. " Don't bother."

"What?" Ashley asked confusion splashed across her face.

Willow looked up, hearing the surprise in Ashley's voice. " I don't need you to help me, I've got it." Willow got to her feet, holding the folder in her arms.

"No," Ashley said. " I mean, what do you mean by permanently shrugged off?"

"I mean that we're over," Willow said. " It's not as though we're fighting Ash. If that's what you think this is…it's…it's not. It's over. Sorry if I didn't make that clear before. You have an effect on me, I can't deny that—but…but it changes nothing…. seriously."

Ashley walked forward—slowly—her eyes smoldering. The energy radiating off of her hit Willow like a rolling wave of heat. Instantly Willow felt flushed, and even in the chilly classroom, she began to feel the first beads of sweat.

"So, I still affect you?" Ashley asked. Though it came across as more of a statement than a question. Ashley walked a little closer and with each step forward, Willow found herself moving backwards. Her breathing was becoming labored and there was something in Ashley's eyes that thrilled and terrified her at the same time.

"Stop it," Willow muttered, tearing her eyes away from Ashley. Willow moved back further, trying to act casual about it. Even though they were in a large empty room and roughly the same height—Ashley seemed larger than life right now.

"Yeah, so?" Willow asked. " That will fade in time. Everything fades in time."

"You still affect me too, Will," Ashley whispered, with a suggestive undertone.

"Not enough, obviously," Willow said, as she tossed her file onto her desk. She had barely had time to add a wicked glare to her statement, before she was hit from the side.

Willow let out a gasp of surprise as she stumbled into the blackboard. Instinctively, she brought her hands up and Ashley was thrown backwards from the energy wave it created.

Ashley cried out in a mixture of pain and something else? Satisfaction? Gloating? As if proud of herself for making Willow use her powers.

Ashley got to her feet, her fingers pressed against her bloody temple. A look of pain and grief crossed Willow's face.

"See?" Ashley began," you didn't exactly tell me the whole truth either, did you? That you were a witch who fought alongside a slayer."

"You already knew that," Willow spat.

"True. But you didn't know that, did you? Before, when you thought I was normal. But you had a secret to keep too, no matter what, no matter who you cared about."

Ashley edged closer to Willow, until Willow was backed up against the blackboard. Both of them were breathing pretty heavily by now, emotions, energy and magic running high.

"W…What are you doing?" Willow stammered, as Ashley was growing uncomfortably close.

"What are we doing?" Ashley asked instead. " What we have is too damn great to throw away. We both had secrets; they are out in the open now. So come on. We both feel it—why not just give in Willow?"

Ashley's voice washed over her, sending goose bumps up and down her arms. Her breathing was becoming slow and uneven as Ashley pressed her body against Willow's.

Willow's eyes drifted closed briefly as she swallowed hard. Ashley's breath was warm against Willow's neck, as Ashley began to nibble along her jaw line.

Willow's heart felt like it was going to explode through her rib cage, as Ashley nipped gently at her ear.

"Don't you feel the heat?" Ashley whispered, suggestively. "Because I do." And to emphasize this point, Ashley pressed her hand over Willow's heart.

Willow's breathe caught in her throat, as her eyes closed again and her hands (that had been attempting to push Ashley away) fell from her shoulders.

"You can't tell me that you don't still want me," Ashley insisted.

Ashley's lips caressed Willow's cheek before finding her lips in a desperate need to prove it to her. Her tongue pushed past the slight resistance of Willow's mouth, and plunged inside her mouth.

Willow felt the barrier break and a surge of sexual thirst flooded over her. But it was still within Ashley's power. Ashley had this hold on her that Willow couldn't deny, but for once she wanted the power. She wanted to be the one to make Ashley crazy.

Grabbing Ashley, roughly, by the hair she pulled her back. Ashley cried out in pain and disappointment. Willow flung her arms to the side and the door slammed shut and locked and the blinds fell closed.

Ashley's chest heaved as Willow's eyes smoldered into hers.

Willow shoved her against the edge of the desk, spilling half the contents to the floor. She dug her hands into Ashley's hair and pulled her head back painfully. Willow's hand came down on her neck and began to caress the tender skin there, with the tips of her fingers.

"It's not about wanting you," Willow whispered in Ashley's ear. " I never denied wanting you, Ashley. It's this thing you have over me, whatever it is, and I can't think straight—pardon the pun."

Ashley's eye squeezed shut. She turned her head, as much as she could, and eyed Willow with heavy lidded eyes. "W…What do y…you mean?" Ashley gasped.

"I can't figure it out," Willow said. " But I don't trust it either." With that, Willow took her hold off Ashley and stepped back.

" We have to work together. Let's keep it that way." Willow said.

"Willow…" Ashley began, sliding off the desk, as she fumbled to straighten her clothing.

Willow back up more, holding up her hand to stop Ashley from moving closer. "That wasn't making up, Ash. That was goodbye."

Ashley stood, speechless, as Willow collected her things and left.

* * *

Buffy carried her plate to the sink and placed it inside. Lorelai joined her at the sink, pouring two coffees. Buffy took her mug and followed Lorelai into the dining room with an armful of files for the party.

"Hopefully with the Christmas plans still fresh in out heads, we'll have a head start for this one," Lorelai said.

"My brain feels partied out, personally. But I am here and ready to assist you." Buffy said jovially, as she sipped at her coffee.

"Well I am debating on inviting my parents or not," Lorelai said. " Well, that's a lie. The answer is always stay as far away from Emily and Richard Gilmore as I can, the only debate is to plead complete ignorance or come clean after the fact."

"I find complete ignorance is usual the best way to go in all cases," Buffy offered. She paused. " Especially since it seems that's what we've both done."

Lorelai's eyes rose to meet Buffy's as the pen fell out of her hand. " Yeah, we've really gotten good at that huh?"

Buffy shrugged. " It was unusual. The unusual usually makes one do the wacky."

"I think the wacky was the act itself, not the aftermath," Lorelai said with a smile. " We've clearly been staying clear of each other. The funny thing is that I can't imagine why. I mean, yes, I remember the kiss and why that would bring on this silent avoidance, but it happened. Before that we liked each other, does that have to change?"

" I don't mean to be avoidy," Buffy insisted. " But I can't stand those conversations where you say anything so that you aren't saying the things you should be saying."

"You lost me, but strangely I think I understand," Lorelai said.

"It's good one of us do," Buffy said with a laugh.

"So how about this," Lorelai said, leaning forward as though she was going to share a secret. "Why don't we go to dinner tonight. Call it whatever you want. A date. Two friends getting together for a meal, or a business meeting—it doesn't matter."

"I think that sounds great," Buffy said, feeling the relief wash over her again. "It's weird, I always worry about what I am going to say to you, or how we are going to react around one another—and yet when we actually talk about it, I couldn't be more comfortably freaked out." She laughed at the end.

Lorelai laughed too. " I completely understand."

* * *

Buffy tossed her keys onto the table as she closed the front door behind her. " Dawn…Will, anyone home?" She unwrapped the scarf from her neck and hung it with her coat in the closet.

"In here," came Willow's voice.

Buffy shook the light layer of snow from her hair as she stepped into the living room. " I don't care how long we're here for, I don't think I'll ever get used to this much snow."

Buffy slowed. Willow was sitting on the couch with her knees drawn up to her chest. Clearly she had just gotten out of the shower, because her hair was soaking wet and she wore her flannel pajamas.

That wasn't the only thing that was obvious. Willow's eyes were red and puffy and the faint hint of tears still stained her cheeks. "Will? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, as she sat beside her best friend.

Willow turned her face towards Buffy, as though seeing her there for the first time. " I don't know," Willow whispered, and then she laughed bitterly at that thought. " Well, no—I know what is wrong. Me. I'm wrong."

"Will, what happened today?" Buffy asked.

"Ashley came to see me at the school. And…I…I was cruel and cold. I…did things that I'm not proud of. She came to apologize again, to work things out. She said that I still wanted her. And I do Buffy, I want her all the time."

Buffy nodded. " I know you do Will, and I know she hurt you. And we do stupid things when we're hurt."

"Not like this," Willow said. " I was sick and tired of always feeling like this weak little school girl every time she was around. It was high school all over again. She has this thing over me, and I felt weak and small. I wanted her to feel that loss of control. I wanted to have the power. And I am so ashamed; I don't know what came over me. It was like I was watching myself…do these things. But I liked it. The power."

"What did you do Will?" Buffy asked, growing alarmed at the grief on Willow's face.

"I just …I lost control a bit. She's fine. I mean I didn't hurt her or anything. But that's not what worries me Buffy. Ever since I went all veiny and black haired I have always been aware of everything I do. I am always careful not to do too much or go too dark. And I've been fine. But there's something going on lately and…and I feel like it's building again. The need for more."

Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it. How could she answer that? Finally, after a long silence, Buffy spoke. " But you conquered that Will. Not just in England, but in Sunnydale as well. You had so much access of power and you used it for good. You were a goddess."

" I know," Willow said. " I am not saying that I want to end the word or anything. I don't feel that rage again. I just feel like I am losing it a little. I feel lost and I don't know how to get back. I don't want to be her again."

"Her?" Buffy said. " Veiny her?"

"High school her," Willow admitted.

"There was nothing wrong with you in high school Will," Buffy insisted. " Yeah, you were shy and quiet—but you were also the sweetest and best person I had ever met. You still are. In fact, you are even greater because you have faced the things you have faced and remain the sweetest and most generous person ever. You wouldn't try to hurt people on purpose, Will. Love makes us act a little crazy. Maybe that's all this is."

"That Willow was easily hurt," Willow said. " Not matter how great or sweet I was—all I got was hurt all the time. With Oz…and Tara. When Kennedy finally left, I should have been devastated. But I wasn't Buffy. I…I felt nothing. If anything, I felt relieved if nothing else. That's not normal is it?"

"You didn't care about Kennedy the way you did Oz and Tara. Sometimes our body shuts off those feelings, as though to protect us. Sometimes it's the only thing that gets us through. Maybe it's just festered and you are feeling this pain again, because Ashley means something to you. She could be something great for you Willow, and maybe you are pushing her away because you are afraid."

Willow lowered her head, as a fresh batch of tears ran down her cheeks. She rested her head against her knees. " That might be part of it Buffy. But there is definitely something else there. And it scares me."

"We will fight this Will," Buffy assured her, wrapping her arms around her friend. " Please don't worry. You are so strong. You can fight it. This new big bad has set up shop here in this town, and I think its negative energy is influencing us. This is a hell mouth, Will. It affects people, especially when people aren't feeling 100."

Willow looked, momentarily, relieved by this thought. " I hope so," she said, softly. "Ah, Buffy?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your pocket is vibrating," Willow answered.

"What? Oh!" Buffy reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. "Hello? Oh hey, ummm…actually there is something going on right now. No. No, I'm not being avoidy. Can I call you back in a couple of minutes? Ok. Bye."

Willow cocked an eyebrow. " Hot date?"

"Not sure," Buffy sighed. "I did have plans, but I am going to call back and cancel. There is nowhere I would rather be than here with my best friend. We'll pop some corn, watch some cheesey movies and gab like old days."

"We never really got to do much of that…you know, demon fighting and all that."

"True. All right. Well, we'll start a new tradition." Buffy said.

"No."

"No?"

"I appreciate it. But I think you should do what you had planned and I think I will try to get some sleep. Things always look better after a good nights sleep right?"

"That's what they say," Buffy said, stoking Willow's hair.

"Ok. Well, goodnight." Willow said. " Have fun."

"Are you sure you are going to be ok? Do you want me to call someone?"

Willow got to her feet. " No, I'm fine. Really."

Buffy hugged her tightly. " Please call me if you need me. No matter what. I don't want you to have to feel alone and lost again Will."

"Neither do I. But I will call you if I need you."

Buffy nodded and watched her friend shuffle up the stairs. " And I thought I had problems," she muttered under her breathe.

* * *

Buffy smoothed back her hair and took a deep breath. It had taken her forever to decide what to wear. Especially, considering, that she didn't know exactly what she was dressing for. She had selected her short black skirt; black knee high books and a fitted black shirt. Buffy stared at the door of the restaurant, watching the diners inside.

She could see Lorelai, sitting alone near the back. Her eyes were reading over the menu as her right hand gently ran cupped her wine glass. She was a little more dressed up as Buffy, in a light gray sweater dress.

This could be the official start of something and that made Buffy incredibly nervous. Buffy took another breath, held it for a second and then slowly let it out as she took a step forward and grabbed onto the handle. Here goes, she thought.

* * *


	30. Adjustments and Compromise

**Merry Christmas everyone! Finally an update after a long absence. Sorry!**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

**Adjustments and Compromise**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Gilmore Girls or Buffy and make no money from these stories.**

* * *

Buffy entered the candlelit restaurant, catching Lorelai's eyes almost instantly.

"Hello," came a voice off to her side. His voice was very uninterested sounded and his look matched his voice.

Buffy smiled. " Hello to you too, I am meeting someone."

His look changed—clearly he saw her as a potential tipper and not much else—as he waved her through.

Buffy walked towards the table. " Friendly service," she said sarcastically, as she shrugged out of her coat.

"I find the animosity in the place gives it that certain something," Lorelai answered with a straight face.

Buffy smiled, as she took her seat, thanking the waiter that offered to hold her chair for her. " You look terrific," Buffy said. " I wanted to get that same outfit when we were shopping for our Christmas dresses."

"That's when I bought it," Lorelai said.

"Great minds think alike, I guess," Buffy said.

"You look great too," Lorelai said as an afterthought.

They both smiled and then looked elsewhere. Now that the pleasantries were over, it was time to be normal. But what was normal to them?

"So…" Lorelai said.

"So…" Buffy responded.

* * *

There was a loud knocking sound at the Summer's door. Xander raised his head, and met with the metal pipe under the sink. He cursed loudly as he crawled out from underneath the holding his head with one hand.

He wiped his hands with an old rag and tossed his wrench back into his toolbox.

The knocking persisted.

"Yeah, coming," Xander called. " Keep your pants on."

He opened the door, leaning against it. " Guess it's too late for that advice," he said sarcastically.

Brooke smiled. " Hey. Can I come in?"

"Why? Have another tale to tell? Maybe we're really lovers from the past. No, wait—we already have one of those."

Brooke frowned. " Very funny Xander."

"Of all the words I could use to describe this situation, funny wouldn't be at the top—but alright."

Brooke was silent. Xander opened the door a little wider, and gestured for her to come in with the wave of his hand. Brooke squeezed by him and headed for the living room.

As if running out of time, she spun around on her heel and began. "Ok, look. I kept something from you. I had to. I can't apologize for that, but I am sorry if it hurts you. I really am Xander. And I know I had to keep close to you, but what happened between us wasn't part of that plan. I really like you. A lot, actually. I don't want you to think that I was conning you or something. That was me." Brooke twisted her hands together, nervously as she began to pace.

"Well, that doesn't exactly instill the warm fuzzies, but it does feel a little better to know that you liked me instead of using me."

"Good," Brooke said with a sigh of relief as she sunk down into the nearest armchair.

"I know that you had a secret to keep and I respect that. I'm not mad at you Brooke, if that's what you think. Maybe, for a second, sure—but not now."

"Oh, well…wow, ok. The hours of going over and over this in my head are nothing compared to this. I had charts and everything ready," Brooke said.

Xander flashed her his goofy grin and she felt herself smiling back. His smile faded as he walked towards her. He sat on the edge of the coffee table so that he could face her.

"But that doesn't change how I feel," Xander said.

"But…"Brooke stammered. " Do you need to see that charts?"

Xander shook his head. "No charts necessary. Please don't think this is coming from anger, because it's not. It's just that—well, its no surprise that I have been known as a sort of a demon magnet when it comes to women. And whereas you aren't a demon, you aren't human either. I don't think that I can handle all that comes with that right now. I have enough trouble just dating in general. It's hard. I can't add this crazy life to that as well. Not right now."

"But Xander, I…" Brooke paused, trying to find the words. " I've been hurt too. And I have lost people as well. And I don't want to be hurt either. No to the hurt. But that doesn't mean we won't work. And I really think what we have is something good."

"Brooke, we barely know each other," Xander said. " It would just be easy to walk away right now."

Brooke shook her head. " Not for me."

Xander slowly got to his feet. "Then I am the one who is sorry," he said.

Brooke slowly got to her feet. " Fine. I guess I was wrong."

* * *

"Wow, what's this?" Dean asked. " Are we doing the Donna Reed thing again?"

Rory smiled over her shoulder at him, as she stirred the rice. "No, but I thought it would be nice to have a dinner together. I know that I've been busy with school work and you've been very patient."

"Yes I have," Dean, said, as he walked up behind her, sliding his arms around her waist. " What are you making and where's your mom?"

"Chicken and business meeting. Hey—no distracting me while I am stirring. There could potentially be issues if I am not watching"

"No more distractions, I promise," Dean said, backing away with his hands raised in defeat. " Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Ummm…" Rory looked around the kitchen; " you could open that jar of sauce over there."

"Now, we've landed in the middle of a cliché," Dean laughed, as he picked up the jar. " Not that I …ummm…mind being …the…er…strong…ah…boyfriend—what, is this thing wielded on!? We don't really need this do we? Cause I'm feeling non sauce-y right now."

Rory wiped her hands on the dishtowel and absentmindedly reached for the jar.

"That thing isn't coming off with anything less than a--."

There was a loud pop. Rory handed him back the opened jar. "Whoa, superwomen where's your cape?" Dean muttered.

Rory seemed to realize and flushed red. " You loosened it—definitely."

"Yeah…sure," Dean said, still looking confused.

Rory switched on the oven timer. " Dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes."

"What do we do for 10 minutes?" Dean wondered a loud.

Rory wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest. " Hmmm…let me think for a minute." Rory tipped her head back to look at Dean, so that he could kiss her. Dean obliged.

After 10 minutes of some serious making out, the table was set and the blow to Dean's ego was smoothed over. Dinner consisted of conversation about school and family and mandatory "yummy" noise from Dean.

Rory looked across the small table at her boyfriend and wondered how he might react to her news. She didn't understand most of it herself, but penting it up left her completely alone in her confusion.

"Rory?"

Rory snapped back to reality. " Hmmm? What?"

"You were staring," Dean said. " Not that I mind, but usually you look at me with a sort of shy, lusty gaze—not a blank, confused look."

"I do not look all lusty," Rory said, choosing to remain indignant.

"A guy can hope," Dean added, with a charming half smile.

Rory pushed back her chair and got to her feet. She wasn't even going to attempt to be sexy, because that would look weird on her. She took his hand and gently tugged, coaxing him out of the chair.

Dean, being easily coaxed, followed willingly. Rory pulled him into the living room, turning in the middle, to kiss him.

Dean hugged her tightly, running his hands up and down her back. Rory stretched up onto her tiptoes and pressed herself against him. He had a way of kissing her that made her head spin and her legs turn to Jell-O.

Every time they made out, Rory found it harder and harder to stop. She wanted to go to the next level with him and everything in the moment—but she was smart enough to realize those were her hormones talking. After all—she was the result of crazy lusty hormones.

And going through with it held an element of fear for her. She didn't dare tell Dean, that she had done a pro/con list about this…he already made fun of her for her lists as is. It didn't help that she worried about what he though. Was he growing impatient? Would he leave her if she didn't? And if she did go through with it, would it be for that reason?

Dean pulled back, looking intently into her eyes. " You with me?"

Rory smiled. His words hit her on a deeper level. It was as though he knew exactly what she was thinking and made it sound so simple. "Yes," she responded, just as simply. She was with him. She didn't want to ever be with anyone else.

Dean smiled and kissed her again. Rory smiled against his lips, her insecurities falling away. This was Dean—her Dean—he loved her.

Feeling a surge of confidence, Rory began kissing him back with an intensity that had been missing from their previous make out sessions. Dean made a sound of surprise, but adjusted quickly and returned the same fervor.

Dean broke apart breathlessly. " Wow, you should do the Suzy home maker thing more often."

Rory smiled—almost wickedly. " Are you complaining?"

"Absolutely not," Dean said.

Rory playfully shoved him. Dean back stepped—a look of surprise coming over his face, as his hand flew to his shoulder. " Wow, someone had their spinach today!"

Rory smiled again, walking forward, playfully pushing him towards the couch. She felt good, confident—ready.

Dean laughed as Rory came towards him. Rory shoved him again. A little too hard. Dean flew backwards, crashing into the window with a cry of shock and the sound of breaking glass.

"Oops," Rory said, timidly.

* * *

Buffy set down her drink and smiled at Lorelai. " So are you buying a dress for the New Year's party?"

"Well, considering my last dress didn't survive the Christmas party—I guess so," Lorelai answered. " You?"

"I'd love to, but I'm not rolling in the fund age these days," Buffy said with a pout.

"Well, I could always make you one," Lorelai suggested. " I can make on from scratch or alter a dress you already have."

"Really? A Lorelai original?" Buffy said.

"Yeah—I have cards and everything," Lorelai joked.

"Well, what do you charge?" Buffy asked.

"Nah, think of it as a belated Christmas gift. Besides I'm not a professional or anything and I would feel bad charging someone. We'll go look at some fabric stores together or something tomorrow."

"Maybe get some lunch?" Buffy added.

"Whoa, slow down." Lorelai laughed. " What if dinner doesn't go well? Though anything involving food is usually a good time. I am a pro when it comes to food."

"Dinner is going great," Buffy said. " No pretense—we just have to be us."

"Dinner with no pretension? Be ourselves? Well, ok. Here we go," Lorelai laughed.

* * *

"Dean, are you ok?" Rory shouted, shaking him as her voice raised an octave in panic.

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, holding his head.

"You tripped," Rory said lamely—praying he could believe that. "Are you alright?"

"I think I hurt my hand," Dean said, cupping it gingerly with his other hand.

"Come on, we should go to the hospital," Rory said, pulling him to his feet.

Dean shrugged her hold off him. " I think that's a good idea."

* * *

The snow had started falling again by the time Buffy and Lorelai had left the restaurant. Both of them were feeling a little tipsy on the amount of tequila sunrise's they had consumed.

"That was a good night," Lorelai said, as she looked up to feel the snow falling on her face.

"Fun was definitely had," Buffy agreed. " And look, I got this nifty doggie swan bag." She held up the swan foil, proudly.

"My favorite part was when you asked the waiter why they made it look like a swan if it's supposed to be a doggie bad," Lorelai laughed.

"Well, it just doesn't make sense," Buffy insisted.

"But, did you have to insist on making it look like an actual doggie? I think the waiter turned several shades of red," Lorelai said.

"Yeah—there went his tip," Buffy said.

"Remember, the good ol' days when the waiter had all the skills of a good balloon artist?"

"With longing…" Buffy answer wistfully.

Lorelai laughed as she linked arms with Buffy. They turned and headed thorough the park towards town.

"So do you want to grab lunch tomorrow?" Buffy asked. " Did we pass the dinner test?"

"With flying colors!" Lorelai answered. " What does that mean anyway? With flying colors? Why do colors mean passing something—and why do they have to fly? Why not, I passed with ease, or with great marks. Maybe even, I passed with flying marks—if anything. Who comes up with these sayings?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes in confusion as the liquor made her head swim. " I think I am going to wait for that thought to come around again, before I jump on."

"I'm just saying is all," Lorelai muttered.

Buffy gently squeezed her arm. " I bet it's the same people that came up with the swan shaped doggie bag."

Lorelai nodded eagerly. " I bet you're right!"

"Those sneaky bastards!" Buffy said.

"So what were we talking about?" Lorelai asked.

"Lunch? I think we were talking about lunch."

"Well, I am going to call Emily and try to push dinner back a bit—to which she will not be pleased."

"Can't you just say no to her?" Buffy asked.

"And live to tell the tale?" Lorelai asked in disbelief. " Not likely."

"This is so weird," Lorelai said after a moment.

"Yeah, sometimes my humor can be strange and off-putting," Buffy, replied dryly.

Lorelai laughed. " Not that. I mean it's weird that I'm doing the whole romantic walk through the park—doing the whole ' will they kiss me butterflies.' And the person is not only a female, but—nope, I think that sums up the weirdness."

"Maybe, it's a phase." Buffy replied, shrugging.

"We did both miss the college experimenting phase," Lorelai added.

"Due to the lack of the actual college," Buffy said with a wry smile.

"So it's a phase?" Lorelai said.

"Could be," Buffy said again, keeping the conversation light.

"Makes sense," Lorelai said lightly.

"I thought so."

"Now, about those butterflies," Lorelai said, hesitantly.

Lorelai slowed to a stop. Buffy turned to face her. " I don't know—there's no rain," Buffy said, teasingly.

"There's snow," Lorelai offered. " Like rain—only softer."

"The official motto for winter, I believe."

"Is humor your defense against the butterflies?" Lorelai asked.

"Hey, I say stick with what works!" Buffy answered, starting to sober at the seriousness of the conversation.

Buffy inched closer. Lorelai dipped her head slightly, touching her lips against Buffy's.

It lasted a moment, before Lorelai pulled back tentavely. Suddenly feeling like she was being watched.

As they pulled further back, a brief flash of something could be seen out of the corner of their eyes. A vampire appeared beside them, yellow eyed and snarling. In a flash—the near perfect moment was destroyed.

"Girl on girl, eh?" The vampire snorted. " God, I love this town."

Lorelai screamed—frozen to the spot. The vampire backhanded her across the face. Lorelai let out a gasp of pain as she was thrown a couple of feet through the air before crashing into a tree. She hit it hard and slumped the ground unconscious.

"As if the night weren't awkward already, and you have to go around hitting people!!!" Buffy shouted, as she swung for the grinning vamp.

The vamp took the punch, and came up laughing. " Hated to ruin the moment—I was enjoying the show."

"Are all you vamps such pervs," Buffy muttered, as they began to circle each other.

"Just doing what comes naturally baby," the vampire hissed, as he aimed for Buffy again.

Buffy ducked, planting an upper cut to his jaw. The vamp's jaw crunched as his head was thrown back. He hit the ground, bouncing off it. Buffy stood over him, her foot planted on his neck. She reached into her jacket and pulled out a stake.

"I'm about to do the same," Buffy said, as she plunged the stake into his dead heart.

Buffy turned towards Lorelai's unconscious form, sighing loudly. "Great, how am I going to explain this one? Sorry Lorelai, I fight demons and beasties nightly that is the bonus of dating me."

Buffy kneeled beside Lorelai and double-checked that her breathing was even. Lorelai's eyes narrowed in pain as she began to come too. She moaned, bringing her hand up to her head, where a lump was already beginning to form.

"What happened?" Lorelai said. " Where did he go?"

Buffy grabbed her arms and gently pulled her up to her feet. "Mugger," Buffy muttered, as she steadied Lorelai. "Here, lean against me."

Buffy put her arm around Lorelai's waist and helped support her weight, as they started off in the direction of Lorelai's house.

"Where did he go?" Lorelai groaned. " And what was wrong with his face?"

"Face?" Buffy repeated. " I didn't notice anything with his face."

Lorelai turned her head and looked at Buffy in disbelief, " You ARE kidding right? His eyes were yellow and his face looked like he'd run into a parked car."

Buffy hesitated. " Probably some colored contacts or something. I didn't really get a good look at him. Maybe his face was in the shadows or something."

"I don't know," Lorelai said in defeat. " Maybe. Wait a minute…how are you ok?"

"Oh due to my super strength and catlike agility," Buffy said, deciding to go towards the truth.

"You are a mystery Buffy," Lorelai said, laughing weakly at what she thought was a joke.

"We're almost there," Buffy said. Hoping that was the end of twenty questions.

Buffy helped Lorelai into her house. Lorelai flipped on the lights—able to stand on her feet un-supported. She looked around the living room, noticing the broken lamp and the mussed couch.

"Not big on Martha Stewart?" Buffy teased, as she followed Lorelai into the living room.

"People who decoupage too much freak me out," Lorelai said off-handily as she picked up a piece of paper laying on the coffee table. "Supposedly Dean, Rory's boyfriend, fell and hurt himself. She's taken him to the doctor. Great—now my daughter is involved in violent make out sessions. Makes a mother proud."

"I'm sure they weren't making out," Buffy said, trying to cheer Lorelai up. " Hey—maybe they were just fighting."

"Oh yes, much better," Lorelai said. " Do you want coffee?"

"Love some," Buffy said. " Let me make it. I'll bring you some aspirin or something. Maybe an ice pack."

"I think the buzz from wine is lessening the pain," Lorelai said. "Tomorrow I'll be dealing with the pain."

Lorelai sank back onto the couch as Buffy went to make coffee in the kitchen. Lorelai reached over and turned off the un-broken lamp. " At least he didn't break the monkey lamp," she said quietly. "There would have been hell to pay."

Buffy returned with two cups of coffee and a bag of frozen peas under her arm. She set the coffee cups down and held the frozen bag of peas to Lorelai.

"What is that?" Lorelai said, looking horrified.

"To put against your head," Buffy said—was that not obvious?

"No, I mean, when the hell did I buy peas?" Lorelai added, making Buffy laugh.

Buffy sat next to her. " So much for a perfect night."

"This isn't so bad," Lorelai said. " Except for the concussion."

Buffy smiled, as stillness settled over the room. Buffy stared into Lorelai's eyes, trying to think of what to say next—but words wouldn't come. It seemed like the need for words had just vanished.

Buffy leaned forward, hesitantly. She looked once more into Lorelai's eyes and then kissed her. Their lips met softly, tentavily, before coming apart. The second time their lips met it felt more confident, like they'd found their fit.

Buffy slid her fingers into Lorelai's hair, careful to stay away from the lump. Buffy parted her lips, caressing Lorelai's lower lip with the tip of her tongue, before pushing Lorelai's lips apart. Lorelai leaned into the kiss, using her upper body to push Buffy back onto the pillows.

Lorelai's upper half laid across Buffy's, her hands running up the length of Buffy's arms. They entwined their fingers, as Lorelai lifted her arms over Buffy's head. This action caused Buffy to have to arch her back, as Lorelai's lips began to nibble the line of her jaw.

Arousal grew, as Buffy's hardened nipples seemed to strain against the thin fabric of her shirt. Until now they had only kissed. it should have been weird—touching another women this way. However, when the flow of hormones began the need to explore and touch and be touched in return—it didn't seem to matter if they were male or female.

Buffy's hands were down by her side as Lorelai's hands began to slide up inside Buffy's shirt. Buffy reached down, finding the hem of Lorelai's dress. Her fingers played with the soft fabric for a moment, before she ran the tips of her fingers against the soft flesh of Lorelai's thigh.

It wasn't until Lorelai stiffened, that Buffy realized that the phone was ringing beside them. With a groan and slightly embarrassed realization that they had just made out, Lorelai raised herself off the couch.

She disappeared for a moment, as Buffy tried to straighten herself out. Her breathing was still heavy and she felt the tension growing in the pit of her stomach. Lorelai re-entered the room, holding the phone at her side.

"It's Rory. Dean is in a cast and can't drive. I have to go pick her up."

Buffy nodded, getting to her feet. " I should probably get back anyway."

She headed towards the door, unable to meet Lorelai's gaze. " Hey Buffy?" Lorelai said.

Buffy turned slowly, as she slipped into her coat. " We did nothing wrong here."

"I know," Buffy said, in surprise. " It's just…an adjustment. I'm adjusting."

Lorelai smiled. "I know what you mean."

Buffy walked forward, her hands resting on Lorelai's hips as she kissed her once more. Buffy broke away—unwillingly. "I will see you tomorrow."

* * *

The door to Jenn's bedroom flung open and Jenn came bursting through it. In what seemed like a speed of light Jenn shut the door behind her and leaned against it, looking flushed.

Dawn looked up calmly from an article on How to make your man happy. " Have you been in the chocolate chip cookies again, Jenn. You know you can't handle the sugar rush."

"True, but this is a different rush. It's sorta of a guilty-crap-I-screwed-up kinda rush."

Dawn closed the magazine. "What did you do?"

"Hey, don't kill me—but Jess is in the living room," Jenn said, as she shut the bedroom door behind her.

Dawn looked up from the magazine she was reading. "What?! Tell him I am not here."

"Well, see that would have been a good plan if it weren't for the fact Xander told him you were here."

"Tell him I left."

"Well I confirmed it," Jenn said sheepishly. " Accidentally, mind you."

"Jenn!!!" Dawn whined—burying her head in her hands.

"Sorry," Jenn said sincerely. "He pulled his James Dean charm and broodiness on me."

"Oh Jenn…"Dawn sighed.

"Hey, I may be all up with the girl power—but, I'm still a girl," Jenn explained.

"Now you see my problem," Dawn said.

"Do you just want me to tell him to buzz off?" Jenn asked, reaching for the doorknob. " I am pretty sure if I don't look directly at him, I can get the words out. Sorta like an eclipse."

"No, no—I'll go and see what he wants," Dawn said, as she crawled off the bed. " I will come and see you later. Movie later tonight?"

"I actually have something I have to do tonight. It's getting later anyway. By the time Broody McBrooderson is done with you, it'll be really late. But call me. Good luck with everything." Jenn said, as she handed Dawn her coat.

"Thanks," Dawn said. She gave Jenn a quick hug before leaving.

Jenn closed the bedroom door behind her. She stood for a minute and then reached into her pocket for her cell phone. Taking a breath, she hit a speed dial number and waited.

"It's me," Jenn said, as she watched Dawn and Jess head off towards the park. " She's just left. She's heading into the park from the west side. The boy is with her."

* * *

"I didn't think you were going to come out," Jess said.

Dawn shrugged. " I wasn't planning on it. But I wasn't counting on you following me."

"Look, I already told you about the traffic. It's Christmas holidays! Geez Dawn, can't you at least believe that?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, I already heard that part," Dawn said. " But where is the part that explains that the traffic jam was this morning and you've just come to see me now."

"Well, yeah—I guess I lose points there," Jess said, easily.

Dawn stopped just inside the entrance of the park and turned to face Jess. She pointed to her left. " See that bench? I sat there like an idiot for almost an hour! And you make it seem like on big joke to you."

"I don't think of it as a joke," Jess said. " Or at least not funny—ha ha."

"What is this?" Dawn said, gesturing between the two of them. How could someone she liked so much, make her violently angry?

"I thought we already had this talk," Jess said, growing annoyed.

"We did," Dawn, said. " We did the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing—but talking about it isn't where it ends Jess. You actually have to act your role!"

"My role?" Jess said incredously. " Like all flowers and pretty little sonnets—that's not me. I have never pretended that, that was me either Dawn. You knew straight off that I didn't like titles."

"How about showing up?" Dawn fired back. " It's a start. And you don't have to like titles. This is all new to me too. But I just wish like you would act like you liked me."

"I'm sorry," Jess muttered under his breath.

"What?" Dawn said, even though she had heard him. But a little humility on his end would suit her just fine right now.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, " Look if you want out—just say so. Let's not do the long drawn out fight. I'm not good at this whole relationship thing—I never said I was."

"I don't want to break up Jess. I'm just tired of being so upset with you all the time."

"Hey, it's not my idea of a good time either. There are other things we could be doing," Jess said, adding the last part with a suggestive undertone.

"Wow, maybe breaking up does sound good," Dawn, said, with mock enthusiasm.

"Look, how about you relax a bit and stop taking everything like a personal attack, and I'll try to be a better boyfriend, so I don't make you do that huffy face."

"I don't have a huffy face," Dawn exclaimed, slapping his arm. She was horrified—was her face always huffy looking? That was a scary thought.

"Oh, you do," Jess said, with a cocky grin, as he rested his hands on her hips.

"Do not," Dawn pouted, even as she let Jess draw her forward.

"Do we have a deal?" Jess asked.

"I guess," Dawn, said, with an exaggerated sigh," but you'll have to stop pissing me off."

"I will try," Jess said, as he tipped her head back so that he could press his lips against hers.

Dawn smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. They broke apart and Jess put his arm around her shoulders and led them down the park path.

A pair of eyes watched the happy twosome as they head down the park path. The figure of a women stepped out from the grove of trees. She stood so silently, that she just seemed to be a whisper in the wind.

"I thought I would find you here," came a disproving voice from behind her.

She spun around, not surprised that she'd been watched herself. "I didn't do anything. I am only watching—just as I have always done, Ash."

"Brooke, I understand. Really, I do. But now isn't the time. You'll just drive yourself crazy," Ashley said. " Now come on, let's go get something to drink."

"It's not safe for her to be out at night," Brooke said, watching Dawn's retreating form.

"What about Rory and Kate? We're supposed to be watching them," Ashley answered. Then she sighed in defeat. " Fine, we'll follow until she gets inside."

"Thank you," Brooke answered. They began to walk a safe distance behind. " You can't blame me for wanting to be around my daughter."

* * *


	31. The Bitter Parade

**30**

**The Bitter Parade**

* * *

Xander placed his dishes in the sink before turning on the faucet. With a sigh he leaned against the sink and watched the flow of water. For a house so full of people it was deathly quiet. Every fiber of his being wanted to sleep and escape the constant stream of thoughts. His mind, however, was stubbornly alert. It conflicted with what his body was trying to tell him and that left him feeling like a zombie.

All he wanted was a blissful eight-hour escape from the thoughts that plagued him. These thoughts centered around one person. Brooke. Her face was implanted in his brain, never giving him a moment's peace. Her voice still sounded in his head as she'd expressed her feelings for him. The memory of her touch or how she had felt under his fingers made him want to throw his pride aside and go to her.

The truth of the matter was that he barely knew her and yet it was the first time he'd felt alive since Anya's death. And maybe, that held an element of guilt and fear. He just wanted to lose himself in Brooke, spill his guilt, pain and fear into her. But once again he would do battle again and maybe caring about someone was too dangerous.

Xander gripped the side of the sink until his knuckles turned white. Why did everything have to be so damn hard all the time? He turned to go upstairs, leaving the dishes for another day. It seemed that he was leaving a lot of things unfinished these days.

As he walked towards his room, he noticed the light under Willow's door. When had she come home? He knocked softly, waiting for her soft reply before pushing the door open. He found Willow in her pajamas, curled up on her bed and hugging a stuffed bear to her chest.

"Hey Will," Xander said softly. Something in her physical presence spoke to how he felt internally.

She gave him a nod, unable to speak as though that would open a dam. But this was Willow, his Willow, and words were never needed.

Instead, he closed the door behind him and walked to the opposite side of the bed. He crawled across and sat behind her. He raised his right arm and without a word, Willow leaned against him, laying her head against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, before resting his head against her own.

* * *

Dawn sighed feeling the tingle of pleasure all the way down to her toes. She wrapped her arms around Jess' waist and breathed in deeply the scent of him. The mixture of his leather jacket he always wore; a slight mechanical smell from working on his car and the earthy cologne he swore that he didn't wear.

She tipped her head back so that he could kiss her again. As Jess' lips met hers she felt the familiar hammering of her heart against her ribcage. Being in this moment pushed all other thoughts from her mind. All she wanted was to be here in this moment.

"Am I interrupting something?" Came a voice.

Dawn sprang back from Jess, her face flushing red immediately at the familiar voice. Buffy stood at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed over her chest. Her look spoke volumes, none of which, Dawn wanted to hear.

"It's alright," Jess said to Buffy, remaining completely calm.

"Oh, I wasn't apologizing," Buffy, corrected him, as she began to walk up the steps.

Jess turned to Dawn. "I'll talk to you later," he insisted, finally taking the hint.

"Sounds like a good idea," Buffy said.

Once inside, Dawn turned to Buffy. " Could you be anymore of an embarrassment."

"Absolutely," Buffy said. " There could have been shouting or props."

"You're hilarious," Dawn said dryly. " I'm all grown up Buffy. I'm allowed to kiss boys and go on dates now. Without you over reacting."

"And I'm allowed to embarrass you," Buffy added. " It doesn't matter how old you get. I still worry. And with the big bad around it's not safe for you to be out there."

"The big bad hasn't even made a move since Christmas," Dawn said.

"That's usually the time to worry. It still doesn't mean the vamps are lying low too. Just tonight Lorelai and I were attacked."

"Are you ok?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah. It was just one," Buffy said. " Anyway I'm going to bed, you should too."

Dawn nodded and then gave Buffy a hug. " I know you're worried, but I really like him."

Buffy smiled as she stroked Dawn's hair out of her eyes. " I know. That's where the worry stems from."

Dawn headed upstairs. " At least he's not a vampire," she said as a parting shot.

* * *

Buffy shuffled towards Willow's room. She was still in her fuzzy purple robe and carried two mugs of coffee. Balancing the cups in one hand she knocked gently before opening the door.

"Good morning sleepy—what the…?!" She began, before coming to a complete stop.

Willow and Xander were still fast asleep, their arms around each other and their legs entwined. At least they were dressed, Buffy figured. They both stirred, sitting upright when they saw the surprised look on Buffy's face.

"I'm sorry," Buffy, said, trying to keep a straight face, " I've opened the door to seven years ago. Did we stumble into 11th grade again? Cause if so I've decided to apply myself this time around. Be a more academically inclined Buffy."

"You're a riot Buffy," Xander said, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Is that caffeine? And more importantly, is it for me?" Willow mumbled, still in a fog of sleep.

"Yep," Buffy said, as though just realizing why she had come in here in the first place.

Willow took the mug gratefully. " I'm just going to leave you guys alone," Buffy teased.

"Getting funnier all the time," Xander said, as he pushed himself into a less post coital position.

"Uh huh," Buffy said with a suggestive undertone. She shut the door lightly behind her as she left.

Once the door was closed, Willow set her mug down and laid back against the pillows. "This is going to entertain her for awhile," Willow said. " There could be skits in our future."

"Are you worried?" Xander asked his eyebrow cocked in mock alarm.

Willow smiled. " I think my virtue is still in tacked. Or what's left of it, rather."

"Love sucks huh?" Xander said.

Willow passed him her mug of coffee. "I think if it sucked we wouldn't care so much."

"I was going for bitter Will, not profound," Xander said.

"Sorry, didn't mean to stomp on your bitter parade," Willow said, with a smile as she retrieved her coffee.

"Not a problem," Xander said, " But in the future…"

"In the future," Will repeated softly.

"So how do you feel about Ashley?" Xander said.

"Too much. Too much to even put into words," Willow said with a deep breath. " But the whole power surge is what concerns me. I just think that this hell mouth is giving off more power than last time and I think it's messing up my magic."

"Makes sense," Xander said. " But Willow I remember you worrying about this last time the world was going to end and you became all big with the Goddess mojo, not all black eyed and veiny."

"True," Willow said. " But the power was coming from feelings of wanting to do good. Of wanting to help. The way I feel around Ashley can sometimes be so angry. So angry that I don't even know where it's coming from or who I am. And considering this evil is rooted in the darkest magic doesn't seem to be helping me control that."

"Makes sense," Xander agreed after a moment. " Considering this isn't the run of the mill bad. Just look how the First affected you in the beginning."

"Yes, but I was fresh from my veiny badness. I was still raw," Willow explained. "Something is different this time and it seems to get worse around Ashley."

"So I guess this means you won't be seeing a white picked fence in your future with Ashley?" Xander asked.

"I don't see how," Willow, said sadly, " What about you and Brooke?"

"Yeah, well, see—I understand the whole secret keeping thing—that's not it. But it just seems easier to get out now before serious feelings develop."

"You mean, before you fall in love with her?" Willow said.

"Yeah something like that," Xander said softly.

Willow chuckled, shaking her head from side to side. " You are such a male."

"Hey, you said basically the same thing in between the magic talk," Xander shot back defensively.

"Yeah, but you're staying away because you're afraid of being hurt and I'm staying away because I'm afraid of hurting the entire world as we know it," Willow shot back.

"Sure, sure, same difference," Xander said sullenly.

Willow rolled her eyes. "Sorry. I'm just all bad moody. Go on."

"It's just that I love you guys," Xander began, remorse thick in his voice. "The thought of any one of you getting hurt makes way for pulse pounding terror. I don't want to bring someone else into that."

"So you'll never fall in love and be truly happy for the rest of your life?" Willow said sarcastically.

"Hey, bitter parade still in motion Will. No room for the logic and rational float here."

"Sorry," Willow said again, this time with a hint of a smile.

* * *

Rory glanced at her watch for the umpteenth time that morning. She sighed loudly as she fidgeted in her seat in the hopes of finding a comfortable position. Five minutes had passed since she'd last looked. Five minutes?! How could that possibly be?

She had already read every magazine on the side tables, even resorting to tabloids after hours of waiting. At least her mother had been here and then she had had someone to talk to, but she'd left hours ago to shower and change for work.

But reading crappy journalism, uncomfortable chairs and an ominous hospital smells were not what set her mind to racing. Dean had been thrown across the room. And she had done the throwing. A million times she had just told herself that he tripped but she knew the truth. Something really weird was happening to her. And after hours of going over and over it she had come up with some pretty strange ideas.

Part of her felt like Dawn's family and friends had something to do with it. But then again these feelings had started before their arrival. And yet, when she really thought about their whole situation was odd.

Her sister and her living with friends in that old Victorian had seemed to fit into their town over night. And Kate appearing only days before them was already connected to them somehow. Rory was oblivious to the stares and supposed secret whispers she'd seen between them all. They were quiet and kept to themselves and yet seemed everywhere at the same time. Weird stuff happened when they were around. Power outages, thieves (in a town that hadn't had to lock their doors ever), and strange attacks.

Rory rubbed her temples, she felt like she was losing it. Maybe she was the freak. And a failure at the art of seduction, come to that. She was pretty sure it didn't list breaking your boyfriend's wrist in the process. At that thought, she moaned in embarrassment and buried her head in her hands.

"Rory?!" Came a surprised, yet, tired voice.

Rory's head snapped up. " Dean!" She sprang to her feet, tripping over her coat. " How are you?" She asked hesitantly, as she righted herself and began to slowly walk towards him.

Dean held up his left arm in response to her question. His arm was encased in a blue cast. He gingerly tucked his arm back in the shoulder harness and walked towards her.

"Dean, I'm so—"

"Just leave it Rory," Dean muttered tiredly. He brushed past her on his way to the exit doors. "I just want to go to bed and forget about this freak show."

His words couldn't have hurt more than if he'd hit her. He had muttered the last part under his breath, but Rory had heard as if he'd screamed it across the waiting room. She felt as though a vice grip had ensnared her heart and squeezed. A hot rush of embarrassed tears sprang to her eyes, which she wiped away quickly with the end of her sleeve.

Rory remained silent as they crossed the wet parking lot, towards her mom's jeep. The air hit her like a slap as she pulled her collar around her face. The whole way home she kept glancing out of the corner of her eyes to see if Dean would glance back, maybe to see if his words had hurt her. He never did.

* * *

Rory handed her keys to her mother and sat down heavily on the large armchair in the lobby. Lorelai tucked the keys into her planner, eyeing her sullen daughter critically.

"So are you going to tell me what happened or do we have to do some mother/daughter channeling thing. Cause let me tell you, my third eye had been on the blitz lately."

"Can't you ever just ask a normal question?" Rory muttered. She realized her words had come out harshly and she watched her mother flinch. She knew she should apologize right away to take the sting out, but she was too angry and upset to think on it.

"What's up kid?" Lorelai asked after a moment.

Rory hesitated. How was she supposed to tell her mom that she threw a guy, not only almost twice her weight but also twice her height, into a wall causing him to actually break his wrist?

"Nothing. Just tired," Rory said. She would go for the standby excuse this time. She couldn't explain something to her mom that she didn't even understand herself.

Her mom opened her mouth, no doubt to push the subject when Dawn and Jess walked in holding hands. Dawn's face seemed to be lit up with genuine happiness. Rory remembered feeling that before the secrets and lies had ruined all that.

"Hey Rory!" Dawn called, heading towards her.

"Hey!" Rory replied.

"So she speaks all civil to her friends but not to her mother," Lorelai said, more to herself than to anyone. " Nice."

"I think that's how it works," Dawn said with a grin. " Parental units get all the bitterness and none of the sweetness."

"Seems right," Lorelai said, thinking of her parents. Man, did she just compare herself to Emily Gilmore? That was depressing. "Well, I'm going back to the kitchen to cry a little about the fact that I've now become a parent to my daughter and not the hip older sister I tried to be. You guys have fun."

"I'm going to find your sister," Jess said, kissing Dawn's cheek. " Don't want to be late not that I'm on the payroll."

"Awww…cheer up," Dawn said lightly, patting his chest. " Think of all the pretty things you'll be able to buy me."

"Gee, the support," Jess said sarcastically as he turned and headed towards the kitchens.

"When did Jess start working here?" Rory asked and then shook her head. " Let me rephrase that, when did Jess START working?"

Dawn grinned, the way she seemed to whenever Jess entered the room or was brought up in conversation. She would eventually have to start doing facial exercises with this amount of grinning. " I think Buffy is trying to get to know him better or something weird like that. She, sorta, caught us making out last night and now she wants to be "involved"."

"Yikes," Rory said sympathetically as she remembered back to an awkward Willy Wonka themed first date with Dean. Wow, that seemed like years ago now, she thought.

"So Buffy spoke to your mom this morning and offered him a temp job helping with manual labor for the New Years party," Dawn explained. " Nice, for him but no less awkward for me."

"So everything seems to be going great with you both?" Rory asked, unable to think up anything to say.

"Well, we're still working out the kinks," Dawn said, " but it's a lot better than it was. Though the feeling of being completely speechless and heart racing crazy whenever he walks into the room is still there. I'm talking school girl grade giddy."

Rory felt her smile falter. There were only so many remainders she could take before she began to feel like pieces of her were being chipped away.

"Wow, I'm going on and on here aren't I?" Dawn said, flushing red as she tucked her hair behind her ear with an embarrassed shrug. " When clearly something is bothering you."

Now it was Rory's turn to flush with embarrassment. Her cover was blown. "Just, not having the school girl grade giddy thing right now. Or rather he's not having that for me right now."

Dawn rested her hand in a comforting gesture on Rory's shoulder. Her hand rested there hesitantly as she wondered if they knew each other well enough for her to do this. Maybe, Rory just wanted to be alone. Maybe, Dawn was over stepping her bounds in thinking that Rory wanted to open up to her.

Rory didn't flinch or move away, so Dawn gave her shoulder a little squeeze before letting go.

"Do you want to go to Luke's or something and get some coffee?" Dawn asked.

Rory was torn. Coffee always-sounded great, but only hours ago she had blamed her recent freak of naturism on Dawn's family. It almost made her laugh out loud at the craziness of it all.

"Sure, coffee sounds great," Rory decided.

* * *

After possibly the longest shower in history, Willow was beginning to feel relatively normal. The power surge from yesterday had faded to a dull body ache and a headache that a few Advil would cure.

She turned off the blow dryer and combed through her red hair before pulling it up in a no fuss ponytail. With her hand she wiped a streak of condensation from the mirror and critically regarded her reflection.

Her eyes were still slightly darkened from going black eyed. The darkness under her eyes was only made worse by the paleness of her skin. All in all, she looked like a victim of insomnia.

With a sigh, she wrapped up her blow dryer and put it away and then turned from her reflection. And even as she reached for the doorknob she heard a faint sigh. The hairs on the back of Willow's neck stood up as her fingers fell from the door. For a moment she thought she'd heard her name. But that was impossible, she thought, because the voice came from inside the room.

* * *

"So are you and Dean fighting or something?" Dawn asked, moments after Luke had taken their orders, begging them not to follow after Lorelai by consuming vats of coffee first.

"No," Rory said quickly. She frowned. " Or…possibly yes."

"Is it personal?" Dawn asked. " Or do you want to talk about it?"

"A little from column A, and little from column B." Rory answered.

Luke brought two coffees over putting them down with a clunk. " Do you want some bacon to clog up the arteries with that coffee or how about lots of eggs or fries? Might as well start young with that congestive heart failure you're heading towards."

He finished his rant, with his hands on his hips.

Dawn and Rory looked at one another and shrugged. Dawn smiled up at Luke, "Sounds great. Thanks."

Luke rolled his eyes, muttered something about how their generation might as well eat from garbage bins and went back to the kitchen.

"Look, you don't really know me that well," Dawn began.

"No, I don't," Rory, said, after a moment's pause.

Dawn frowned, but continued. " So it might feel weird talking about it, but if you ever want to. I'm here." Dawn finished, and then added. " I feel like an after school special don't I?"

"A little," Rory admitted," but I appreciate it."

* * *

Willow squeezed her eyes shut and let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Willow," came the voice again. Willow spun around but there was no one there.

"Who's there?" Willow said, her voice betraying her fear. " This isn't funny."

There was a low chuckle then. " Depends on your idea of fun."

Willow shook her head as if that would clear the voice. The voice was low, but she'd recognize it anywhere. It was her voice. Only she wasn't speaking.

Something moved out of the corner of her eyes and Willow, hesitantly, turned her head to look. Her mouth opened as if to scream, but no sound came out. She was staring into the mirror; only the mirror didn't reflect the same girl who'd been staring back only moments ago.

This reflection bore the same black eyes and black hair from a couple years ago. It was Dark Willow.

Willow reached up to touch her hair, wanting to check if hers had changed color. The reflection remained still. Dark Willow stared back at her with a menacing expression.

"W…What do you want?" Willow asked, her voice betraying the terror that was racing through her veins. This couldn't be happening. She was dreaming she had to be dreaming.

"You already know the answer to that. I want what everyone wants. What you want most," Dark Willow replied. " Freedom."

"I have freedom," Willow said.

"Right, because fearing every time you use magic you'll turn back is a great way to live. And you look so happy. You turn people away from you. You're a caged animal Willow, your cage just happens to be bigger than most."

"It's not true," Willow said, shaking her head.

"Oh, let's ask Ashley. I know what you did, what you wanted and it felt good didn't it? That power that flowed through you, I bet you can still taste it can't you?"

Willow swallowed but it was hard, as her throat had gone dry. " No. Go away."

"No. Go away," Dark Willow mimicked. Her mouth curled as she smiled. " You feel it coming more than anyone Willow. I'm always here—waiting. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm stronger than you," Willow said, her voice trembling.

"Convincing," Dark Willow replied. " Come on Willow, let me free. Let yourself free. Why are you wasting your time when you are so much more than this? You talk as though I am a separate entity, when I am in you Willow, all the time here."

"Never!" Willow shouted. Her knuckles went white as she grabbed the edge of the sink tightly.

The smile faded from Dark Willow's face and the black in her eyes got bigger until no white was visible. "Soon you won't have a choice," Dark Willow rasped. "You think this is scary, you think you've been here before? This hasn't even begun! What happened to your friends is nothing compared to what we can do. Evil lives inside every man, women and child. And now, evil is calling us home." Dark Willow said, without taking a breath—her voice growing lower and lower, as her image seemed to grow bigger until it was filling the frame.

The voice seemed to fill the room as well, the evil laughter rippled throughout the room, as it created a wave of energy in its wake. Goosebumps raised on Willow's arms as her hair blew back from the energy blast. She struggled to hold onto something to keep from blowing away too.

She bit her lips to keep from crying out as long scratches ripped down her arms. The blood rose from the deep scratches and poured onto the white linoleum. Willow cried out as her hands slipped from the sink and she flew backwards into the opposite wall. She hit it hard, knocking the air from her lungs as she slid to the ground.

"What's so wonderful that you need to hold on? I'm promising more power than you can even imagine."

"NO!!!!" Willow cried, as she cowered on the ground. She felt invisible nails rake down her back as she screamed again.

"Let go Willow," came the voice, daring her to refuse.

Faintly Willow made out the sound of someone banging on the bathroom door. She heard Spike's voice as he yelled for her to tell him what was wrong. "Help me," she rasped.

She felt some hope as Spike began to push against the door. Hurry, she thought. Dark Willow chuckled. "No one can help you now. Your friends will never know that magic inside you. They know you will turn. They don't trust you. They will never trust you."

Willow felt numb as the air turned cold. She felt pulled in all directions. Her knees felt like rubber as she struggled to her feet. The fear was quickly being replaced by anger as she reached for a solid object to hold onto.

The anger and frustration of being treated like a weak being began to bubble up inside of her. She would not be evil's bitch again; she wouldn't let an image of her dark self taunt her. She let herself feel all the pain inflicted upon her and held it close. She would use the anger and the pain and she would hold onto it like she would a solid object in a spinning room. She might die, but she would die fighting. She would not give in. She was not going to let it take her. Not again. And with every fiber of her being she turned—and faced it.

Willow gripped onto the metal garbage bin, feeling as though fingers might snap with the force, but she kept holding tighter. She balanced her weight on her left foot and with a cry of pain she lunged to the right, pulling up the garbage bin over her head like a catapult—she released the can with a scream of—"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The garbage can shattered the mirror into pieces that went flying everywhere. Willow felt the shards rip through her clothing and against her skin. All she could feel was the energy in the room and all she remembered seeing was the image of her dark self-just before it shattered.

The door blew open as Spike kicked it down. Willow took a trembling step towards him, as his eyes swept the destruction inside. He opened his mouth to question her, but she stumbled and fell. Spike caught her before she hit the ground, picking her up, as he smelled the fresh blood that covered the majority of her body.

As Spike turned to leave, Willow looked back towards the bathroom at the broken mirror on the floor. Of all the things that had happened she felt a deeper level of fear as she realized the strange look on her dark self's face before it shattered.

For the briefest of moments, Willow could have sworn that she had looked—satisfied.

* * *

"I'm so full that I need a new word for it," Dawn moaned as she clutched her stomach.

"Dessert was not our friend," Rory agreed.

The two girls stepped out into the crisp night air. Their bodies had warmed from sitting for a couple of hours inside Luke's. They had spent the whole day together and the sun had already set.

"I hate how night comes earlier in the winter," Dawn said as she looked up at the star filled sky. " Makes the day seem so short."

"Or the night too long," Rory pointed out.

"You know, we are entirely too bitter for our age." Dawn said.

"As soon as man problems come up it's as though our life stops," Rory said.

"Well, I'm new to the whole boyfriend thing," Dawn said. " So I'm still trying to figure stuff out. Trying to figure out what things are problems and what things I should just learn to let go."

"It all matters," Rory, said. " The little things become big things. They just fester until it just screws up your whole sense of self and …." Rory stopped when Dawn's mouth fell open at her rant.

"Wow…that's intense," Dawn, said, shaking her head. " You're really upset about this Dean thing aren't you? What happened?"

Rory felt her face grow hot under Dawn's questioning eyes. It was embarrassing and no doubt Dawn would think she was nuts. And yet, somehow, Rory felt the need to just spill everything to Dawn.

The silence grew heavy between them until it became more and more awkward. Dawn felt that Rory wanted to talk. Even now, Rory's mouth would open only to snap shut again a couple of moments later, having decided not to spill her guts.

"Rory, you don't have to say anything if it makes you uncomfortable, but sometimes it helps to talk to someone who isn't judging you."

Rory nodded slowly, tugging at the scarf around her neck. " Well, see, the thing is…"

Rory's voice stopped and she made a funny sound as the air was knocked out of her lungs. Dawn turned in alarm, but a dark figure stepped in front of her blocking Rory from her sight.

"Rory!" Dawn yelled, her voice giving away her fear.

"Don't worry about her now," the vampire snarled, " her pain will be over in moments. But yours…well (he chuckled), let's just say soon you'll wish you were her."

Dawn began to back away, her heart lodged in her throat. She could faintly hear Rory over the blood rushing in her ears. The vampire lunged as Dawn turned to run, and caught her easily, pinning her against a nearby tree. A scream ripped out of Dawn's throat. She was going to die, and all that she could think about was if it was going to hurt.

His body pressed against hers, his face close. " I like it when you wiggle," he whispered suggestively in her ear.

Dawn tried to wrench her head away from his foul breath. His tone made her stomach turn. Dawn suppressed her need to throw up. His hands ran up and down her arms, as Dawn began to cry.

She squeezed her eyes shut, praying that it would be quick. And then, in a split second from his body pressed against hers, the weight was gone. The breeze blew, unhindered, against her face as she stumbled forward.

She hit the ground hard on all fours, pains shooting up her legs and arms. She heard a struggle and turned to face it. The moonlight lit up the park only a little. Her heart lurched when she saw two figures struggling. Shocked, Dawn realized the one figure was Rory.

After several punches to the head, Rory grasped the semi-conscious vampire by the collar. With her face twisted in rage, she let out a yell and began to fun forward. The vampire struggled, his feet barely on the ground.

Rory smashed him into the tree. Surprise flickered over his face as a thick branch punctured his ribcage into his heart.

Dawn staggered to her feet, shock making her numb. The moonlight shone across Rory's face, she looked triumphant, scared and surprised all at the same time. Turning she walked over to Dawn. " You ok?"

Dawn nodded. " You?"

It was then that Rory began to shake, faltering slightly. " Did that just happen?"

Dawn nodded again, searching her brain for something to say. Finally the word came to her and it came out in a whisper. " You're a slayer."

Rory started. " A what now?"

* * *

To be continued. 


	32. The Manic State of Sane

**31**

The Manic State of Sane

* * *

Buffy and Giles were sitting at the island in the kitchen, silently eating breakfast when Willow came in waving a piece of paper.

Giles looked up from his newspaper, pushing aside his plate. " You found it?"

Willow nodded as she handed him the paper. Buffy noticed the white bandages on Willow's arm as her sleeve rode up. Buffy winced; even now, as she remembered the ugly scratches on Willow's arms and back. She had found Spike tending to her wounds (looking uncomfortable around so much blood), and Willow mumbling incoherently about evil mirrors.

After several hours and some drinks later, Willow was able to tell them about what had happened in the bathroom. Buffy had stayed up all night sitting with Willow as she slept, worried that whatever had come to her, wouldn't try something again.

"Only after several spells and one messy locater spell, which by the way, I will totally pay for the damage to the carpet," she said the last part to Buffy. " They must be some powerful witches to have cloaked it so well."

"You…um…did a spell?" Buffy asked. " I mean, is that a good idea, considering?"

"She didn't come to me because of a spell," Willow said, her voice becoming strained at the mention of what had happened yesterday. " And I did those spells before that happened."

Buffy nodded, reaching for another cup of coffee. Giles looked at the sheet of paper. " Well done," he finally said, as he handed it over to Buffy. " Do you know this address?"

Buffy's eyes widened in surprise as she recognized the name and address. " Well in hindsight, it makes a lot of sense."

"Well, let's go then," Giles said.

Buffy pushed her plate aside with a groan. " Right, because breakfast isn't the most important meal of the day," she said sarcastically.

Giles shot her a look of exasperation.

"Fine, fine," Buffy said, holding her hands up in defeat. " But if I get killed by a vamp due to no strength I am coming back to seriously haunt you."

Giles handed her, her coat as he rolled his eyes. " I'll take the chance," he answered glibly.

"Just so we're clear," Buffy answered, as she took her coat.

* * *

Stars Hollow was idyllic today. A fresh blanket of snow covered the ground. The only fresh imprints were from the three of them as they crossed the road. There were no cars on the road yet, and Buffy doubted that she would see many today. Days like these the town seemed to retire into their Victorian homes for the day in front of the fire sipping hot chocolate. If Buffy had a choice on where to live, she thought she would like the slow moving town in which to spend her days.

Luke waved to them as he put out his standing billboard sign. Buffy waved back, groaning inwardly, as she realized she was up at the same time as Luke's Diner opening. That man woke with the sun and here was beating him to the punch.

The only sound was the crunching of their footsteps as they made their way to their destination. It was obvious from their silence that things were strained. Buffy was quick to chalk it up to dealing with the newest big bad, but she knew that each of them had more pressing personal issues going on.

For Buffy all the stolen moments with Lorelai were just getting more and more confusing, instead of better. Away from Lorelai, Buffy didn't understand what the hell she was doing; thinking she must be going through a mental breakdown. But when she was with her, her brain seemed fuzzy and clearer at the same time. It just felt like she was going through something and would get it out of her system. And Lorelai understood that too. It felt like her breakdown with Spike—only way less violent.

Buffy slowed when she realized that her friends had stopped and were looking at her for answers. "What?" Buffy asked.

Giles motioned to the door, looking at her as though she'd gone crazy. " Is this the address?" he said, repeating his earlier question.

"Oh right…yes," Buffy said. She knocked once and then pulled open the door.

The face that greeted them let them know that she'd been found out. The surprise mixed with understanding was evident. " I've been expecting you. I guess it was your spell that broke through my clock?"

Willow nodded. " Well come in then."

Willow and Giles stepped inside. Buffy stood a moment—still in disbelief that this woman wasn't who she'd thought. " Come in Buffy," she said with a welcoming smile.

Buffy found herself smiling back. " Thanks, Miss Patty."

* * *

"We shouldn't be doing this," Dawn whispered, her eyes closed and lips parted.

Jess paused in his kisses, to chuckle softly. " That's what makes it fun."

"Buffy could be home any time," Dawn pointed out. She tried to sound authoritative but his lips pushed all things from her mind.

"That's what makes it risky," Jess muttered, against her neck.

"No, that's what makes you dead," Dawn, laughed.

Jess moaned in protest, as he rubbed himself against her thigh. Dawn moaned low in her throat, as she clutched at his arms. Jess smiled as he felt her body soften against his. He'd wanted to sleep with her since he'd first seen her and every time he'd been turned down. The funny things was in the past he would have been long gone by now, but he actually cared about her..

It was moments like these that dawn felt very ready to just give herself over to what her body clearly wanted. That was the consequence of playing this dangerous game. Every time she let jess touch her she began the game of head vs. body. She knew this would happen and yet she couldn't help but roll the dice and play the game.

She was old enough now that she was fully expected to go all the way—hell—most would be surprised if she didn't. And yet, she could feel that boundary—that invisible line that she feared crossing.

Jess' hands moved over her with practiced skill and she was more than willing to let him continue. It was still exciting to her—all those thoughts and feelings that he could invoke in her—how she could feel so relaxed and so aware of everything at the same time.

"Dawn…don't you like me?"

The sentence seemed so random that Dawn felt her body tense. The quiet had been so violated by words that she couldn't comprehend the words for a moment.

"What//" Dawn asked in stunned disbelief.

"Don't you like me?"

If it wasn't the voice that was familiar enough, the words spoken had hit a mark within her. Dawn's eyes snapped open as they searched for Jess' face. Jess lifted his head, only the face looking back at her wasn't Jess'. Dawn's heart jumped into her throat, as her jaw dropped.

The person staring back at her wasn't a person at all. It belonged to a vampire. A vampire that she had shared her first kisses with on Halloween night, years ago, no less. He smiled at her the same way he had back then. Finally, her voice came to her and she let out a blood-curdling scream. Her hand shot up automatically and connected with the side of his face so hard, that it stung her hand, and shot pain down her arm.

It was enough to force him back, giving Dawn room to roll onto the floor, landing on all fours. Dawn ignored the jolt, and retrieved a stake that had been hidden under the floor for such emergencies. By the time she jumped to her feet, clutching the stake, she found Jess' horrified face looking back at her.

If she weren't still trembling in shock, she would have laughed at the ridiculous situation. " What the hell…was that about?" Jess stammered, rubbing his face.

Dawn choked on a reply. It was one of those times, she had wished the earth would open and swallow her—metaphorically speaking, since that was physically possible these days.

Dawn dropped the stake, trying to somehow remain subtle while doing so. Jess' eyes followed the motion, his face now red from the hit. "I…ah…there, there was a s…spider. I…" Dawn stammered. " I really freak out around spiders."

"I'll say," Jess said, shaking his head. " What's with the stake? Something from wood shop?" He added sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'm building a really little fence," Dawn replied, matching his sarcasm with her own brand.

Jess got to his feet, grabbing his coat in one fluid movement. Dawn crossed her arms trying to look sure of her lie instead of the embarrassment she was sure she would die of.

"I'm sorry. It just took me by surprise. I just reacted without thinking," Dawn said. It was true, she was sorry. But anyone who'd been in her place would have done the same—or worse.

Jess raked hi fingers through his hair. Clearly, he was stalling as though trying to make up his mind about something. He didn't believe her spider story for a moment. Moments before she'd slapped him, he'd seen the terror in her eyes. Terror like that didn't come from seeing a spider. His first thought was that he'd gone too far—but he hadn't gone any farther than he had before.

Besides, she knew he'd never hurt her, so he didn't understand the terror. Still, something scared her and that touched a huge part of him. He found himself wanting to take away that fear—to protect her.

Dawn felt her lower lip begin to tremble, though she tried to fight it. It had all seemed so real! The voice, the face and those eyes. The scary robey guy was playing with her and she had fallen for it.

"I'm sorry," Dawn, muttered again, because she knew she should break up the silence, but wasn't sure how. She couldn't even bring herself to look him in the eye.

Jess stepped forward. He would be perfectly justified in walking out that door. For dramatics sake, he wanted to. And yet, the vulnerability in her, made him feel compelled to do so instead of staring at her like this.

The next thing she knew, Jess had crossed the space between them and wrapped her in his arms. Dawn wasn't used to spontaneous acts of affection from jess, let alone after she'd just attacked him. Sure he had the moves when it came to getting her into bed, but this was different. This was comfort right now, with no pushing towards more. With a startling realization—Dawn felt that Jess really cared about her—and that information was new.

Dawn relaxed (as much as she could under these new circumstances) in his arms and let herself be held. She would have to find Buffy and tell her what had happened. The big bad was stepping up the game—much in the style of the First.

* * *

Buffy accepted the mug of coffee that Miss Patty offered and she waited for the meeting to start. As suspected, Miss Patty wasn't surprised at their arrival at all. But she'd waited due to everything going on to approach them.

"You must be very powerful to have broken through our cloaking spell," Miss Patty said as she handed a plate of chocolate chip cookies to Willow.

"It wasn't easy," Willow said. " The mixing of herbs and crystals to mask the exact energy wave of the cloaking spell."

Miss Patty beamed. Giles passed the plate of cookies to Buffy, wishing it were oatmeal. "How did you manage to find that particular brand of spell, if you don't mind me asking."

Miss Patty smiled, adding a suggestive wink when she replied. " Oh, I don't mind sharing my secrets with you, Rupert is it?"

"Rupert Giles, yes," he replied—a little too formally.

"We just call him Giles," Willow said.

"I could think of a few names myself," Miss Patty replied, brushing Giles' knee with her fingertips.

Giles cleared his throat, fidgeting uncomfortably in his chair. Willow and Buffy leaned forward to look at one another, each trying hard not to laugh at Giles' discomfort. Miss Patty didn't act as though she noticed if she did. " I've been around honey, I've learned many…many things," Miss Patty said, dissolving into chuckles at her own humor.

There was something off about this, is what Buffy was thinking, as she listened to all the magic talk. It wasn't Miss Patty's shameless flirting—that she expected from her. No, it was something that had been said.

And then it hit her. " Wait a minute," Buffy interrupted. Giles seemed grateful by the interruption and seemed to turn his whole body to look at her. " You said 'our cloaking spell' who else is there?" Buffy asked.

Miss Patty turned the topic back to Giles. Buffy was tired of patience—she didn't have that kind of time. Buffy cleared her throat loudly, which proved fruitless, as Miss Patty was all but sitting in Giles' lap by now.

Giles managed to shoot Buffy a pleading look. Buffy stifled a smile. " From what Willow told me," Buffy interrupted loudly, " there was no way that one person worked that cloak spell. So who else helped you?"

Miss Patty shifted nervously in her seat, fidgeting with her hair. " What do you mean, dear? There's just me."

Buffy cocked an eyebrow. " Miss Patty?" she said, her tone warning.

"There were at least two elements coming through," Willow said. " Two elements working together. So unless you're into cloning or some serious split personality exercises, you have one or two other people helping you. You weren't surprised at our arriving, and yet, you won't be completely honest with us. You know that something bad is coming, that something bad is already in progress—and yet, you prevent us from being able to figure this out because you don't want to admit that you aren't alone in this."

Giles looked remarkably impressed at willow as she finished her calm and yet, forceful speech. Buffy had to smile too. Even after all this time, Willow managed to surprise her.

"Well, you really are a clever witch aren't you?" Miss Patty said. Her tone was light, but Buffy caught a hint of annoyance.

"Oh, all right. Don't cover for me," came a voice from the small office behind Miss Patty.

"Babette?!" Buffy said in surprise. "Though I shouldn't really be surprised—you two are as thick as thieves."

"No one knows that much town gossip without a little witchcraft." Babette said with a throaty laugh. She stopped mid sentence when she noticed Giles. " This must be the mean you were going on about Patty. Hey, sugar."

Giles fidgeted once again. " What about Morty?" Buffy teased.

Babette laughed again, before taking a seat next to Miss Patty. " Hey, I am allowed to look at the menu, just not order anything."

Buffy and Willow laughed along. Miss Patty and Babette were always good for a laugh and god knows Buffy hadn't really been able to socialize in this town.

"Well, I haven't been taking orders of any kind lately," Buffy laughed. " So, I'll take your word for it."

"Such a beautiful girl!" Miss Patty tsked. "You should be beating the guys away with sticks!"

"Well instead of guys it's vampires and instead of sticks it's stakes. And that job never leads to romance," Buffy said. Then she paused. " Well, maybe once….twice. Just twice."

"I still can't believe that you're the slayer," Miss Patty said. " You're just a slip of a thing."

"She's like that might women or wonder mouse or something," Babette laughed.

"Might Mouse and Wonder Woman," Willow corrected.

"This is all very informative," Giles said, his voice growing weary. " But could we please get to the task at hand."

"He's very commanding, isn't he?" Miss Patty giggled as Babette joined her. Giles rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that afternoon.

"Giles is right," Willow said. " The other side is definitely upping its game. It's starting to get really bad and it won't be long before it spreads through out this town. We've seen it before. The people around us are the first to suffer."

Babette and Miss Patty instantly sobered. " Sugar, why do you think this town hasn't had any problems in its history aside for Taylor's hair brained schemes? We've been here to stop it every time this time is no different! Who do you think sent for you?" Babette asked.

Buffy looked between Babette and Giles, her confusion growing. " I thought the Guardians sent for us?"

Giles began to nod, but Miss Patty jumped in. " They did dear, but we tipped them off. Guardians are very busy, they can't be everywhere, and sometimes they need spies."

"Did you know about this Giles?" Willow asked.

Giles shook his head. He turned towards Babette and Miss Patty; ignoring the coy smiles that Miss Patty kept shooting him. " This is what confuses me, if you knew something was starting and informed the highest power that could only mean that you knew this evil was bigger than you. In doing so, they contacted us to come here and help. Why then, is there all this secrecy? Why have you never contacted us if it was you who asked for us in the first place?"

Miss Patty and Babette looked at one another, looking a little ashamed. " We were a little embarrassed," Miss Patty said. " For years we've protected this town, it was one thing to ask for help but another to admit our failures. We know what you did in Sunnydale and countless other times you have saved the world. We knew you could do it without us."

Buffy laid her hands over Miss Patty's. " You're not a failure. A failure wouldn't have asked for help. You obviously love this town very much. You did the right thing."

Miss Patty patted Buffy's arm gratefully at the same time she drew in a shaky breath. For all her strength, humor and light heartedness, she was definitely feeling a lot of pain not being able to solve the town's problems herself. She was a proud women, who did not like admitting defeat."

"So, what are we going to do now?" Willow asked.

"Whatever, you need sugar," Babette said, handing over the reins.

"Contrary to belief," Giles began. " We've never done this alone. We need all the help we can get and that includes the both of you."

It was almost comedic as both Babette and Miss Patty simultaneously reached for handkerchiefs and dabbed their eyes at the same time. " Such a gentleman, such a gentlemen," Miss Patty muttered. " You are so like my third husband." Babette sniffed loudly as she whispered an agreement.

"Well, enough of this," Miss Patty said, returning to the 'stiff upper lip' approach she lived 24/7. " Let's discuss your ideas. Fill us in and we'll go from there."

Giles nodded gratefully, happy to come back to a subject that suited him better than answering questions about his work out regime.

* * *

"Have a good night, Mrs. Mueller," Kate said politely, clenching her teeth against the chill of the night air. Kate flipped the dead bolt and hung her head in exhaustion. Every muscle in her neck felt tensed beyond repair.

" I swear if I had to hear one more conversation about how her leg was bothering her—I was going to cut the damn thing off myself."

Luke's husky laugh filled the space behind her. Even if he'd remained silent, she would have been able to feel him; she could practically feel the heat. She had been trying to avoid him all day, which made her realize just how small the café was. And all day long, Kate had worried about this moment, knowing that no matter how long she stayed away, she'd been alone with him at the end of the night.

Facing the inevitable, Kate turned to face him. Luke reached past her, brushing her arm as he flipped off the lights. Long shadows stretched across the café, casting them into darkness. Luke ran his hands up the sides of her arms, stepping in closer. He reached past her to draw the blinds, his five o'clock shadow grazing her soft cheek. The sensation caused chills up and down her spine.

Kate didn't realize she'd been holding her breathe and she seemed to let it out in a long sigh as he stroked the line of her jaw with his fingertips. " Luke?" she sighed, somehow finding a voice. It was amazing to her that she could have all this stuff going on and have moments of overconfidence and strength and then in one moment—one touch—and she felt just like a lust sick schoolgirl.

"Hmmm?" Luke leaned in closer, his breathe warm against her face. Kate felt her eyelids droop close as her head came back to rest on the door. There was no way she was going to have a serious conversation if her body kept rebelling against her.

His lips moved over her jaw, down her neck before moving over hr chin. She knew the moment his lips touched hers that she would be a goner. She just had to make sure that didn't happen. No matter what happened. She mustn't…let…him—damn!"

The moment his mouth covered hers she was gone. Her body was completely rebelling against her, even as her mind screamed at her to stop this. It wasn't fair to him. Luke seemed like a relationship guy, not a fling guy. This wasn't fair. But, in her defense, it had been so long. Like over a 100 years! Surely a girl couldn't be expected to react rationally when she'd already had the taste of it and wanted more?

Luke pulled away, sensing her resistance. " Are you ok?"

His concern made her want to love him. She could be happy with him—in another lifetime she thought she could have.

Kate cupped his cheek, tracing her thumb over his lower lip. " Take me upstairs."

Luke took her hand and led her from the café. Tonight wasn't going to be about regret or revenge or raging hormones. It was about comfort, about feeling more than indecision or pain. Tonight was about solace, in the arms of a man she deeply cared about.

* * *

Rory had stared at the same page for nearly half an hour and she still had no idea what she was reading. She wasn't even sure what book she was reading come to think of it.

With a sigh, she tossed her book to the side, and lay back against the couch. How was she supposed to study with all this new information floating around in her head?

Slayers. Vampires. Hellmouths. Oh my! It was insane. Completely and utterly insane. And yet, the crazier part was that it made a weird kind of sense. Compared to all the strange dreams, occurrences and frequent black outs where she couldn't remember several hours of an evening, this explained a lot. But stories like these excited in books and movies, they weren't reality.

Dawn had taken her to a friend. Her name was Ashley and Rory had recognized her as Dean's gym teacher at Stars Hollow High. Was everyone in on this, she had wondered over and over again?

Ashley had sat her down and explained everything in detail. Rory had sat and listened and all the time wondered if Ashley was about to start laughing and reveal that it was all part of a joke. But she didn't. Rory had fought vampires tonight, she'd inadvertently throw her boyfriend across the room with her super strength, and she was a slayer. If the whole concept of monsters weren't so terrifying she would laugh at the absurdity of it all. And to top it all off she was supposed to protect another human being. A human that hadn't been born yet. She was a guardian. In time she would become one of the most powerful. A guardian endowed with slayer skills and strength. She couldn't even begin to comprehend. How was she supposed to care for another human, when she could barely make out with her boyfriend without causing bodily harm?

For some reason she was accepting it more than she would have though. Sure, she still had questions but deep down, she felt like shed accepted it. Maybe she knew something all along, or she was just in shock. There was no way to tell for sure right now. The hardest problem was going to be telling her mom. Somehow, she didn't see that going to well.

A knock on the door interrupted her train of though, which was probably a good thing, considering that a large part of her brain now felt like mush.

She had had a lifetime worth of surprises in the last couple of days, and yet she was surprised yet again, when she opened the front door and found Dean filling the doorway.

"Hey Rory," he said, looking as uncomfortable as she felt.

Just seeing him again brought back the flood of shame and embarrassment that she'd tried to bury under lots of triple fudge ice cream and questionable Chinese from Al's.

"Hey Dean," she replied with a degree of lameness she didn't think possible.

"Could I come in for a minute?" he asked.

Rory stared at him for a full minute before his question sunk in. " Oh yeah. Sure." She moved to the side to allow him access.

Dean moved into the living room, stopping to stare at the broken table he'd smashed into. Rory tucked a piece of hair behind her ear nervously as her eyes followed to where his landed.

"Mom was just looking for an excuse to replace that table that grandma gave us. She was very grateful and promised you a free slice of Sookie's pumpkin pie at the Inn," Rory said, trying to keep her voice light.

Dean grimaced as he remembered the feeling of his body smacking into it. He turned to Rory. " So I've been going over and over it in my head and I still don't understand what happened."

"Y…You fell," Rory stammered. Well now, that had sounded a lot more convincing in her head.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair. " That makes the most sense," he agreed, "only I remember flying more than falling. You barely touched me and I'm across the room in seconds."

"But that's…" Rory began.

"Crazy," Dean stated, cutting her off completely.

A look passed between them. Rory took a seat. " I don't know what to tell you."

"All I know is something weird is going on in this town. Weirder than normal anyway."

"Look Dean, I'm really tired and it's been a very, very long day. I've apologized so much that my tongue feels fuzzy. I don't know what else to say."

Dean actually blushed red as he came to sit beside her. He lifted his good arm and put it around her shoulders. " That's why I came over here—to make you feel worse," Dean teased. " Listen, I came over here to apologize for being such a jerk about everything. I know that you didn't men to hurt me."

"I didn't," Rory said. " I am so…"

She found herself about to apologize for the millionth time. Dean guessed that and cut her off with a kiss. Somehow, the rudeness of the interruption didn't seem to bother her so much.

* * *

Buffy, Giles and Willow gathered up their coats and said their goodbyes. They had planned and discussed for the better part of the day, and had already come up with a plan.

Buffy felt satisfied that all things connected with Operation Stars Hollow was finally coming together. They had a plan—a good plan. Willow looked like a kid at Christmas, carrying an armload of magical ingredients to occupy her time.

Buffy accepted a hug from Miss Patty and Babette and then headed back into the dark snow filled streets. Willow fell into step beside her, linking their arms together.

"That was very informative, wasn't it?" Willow asked, sounding more cheerful than she had all day.

"Very, seems like we're getting some answers for once. A plan. I'm a man with a plan, er—a woman with a plan."

A light went on in the building to the right and drew their attention away. A brief glimpse of Kate and Luke in an embrace caught their eyes before the blinds were drawn.

Willow smiled. " So it's not so much Kate playing hard to get with Spike, as it is her moving on completely."

Buffy smiled, but her smile faltered as she caught the look of horror on Willow's face. " What?" Buffy asked, startled.

"Oh Buffy—I'm so sorry! I'm…I….total verbal vomit attack. You know how my foot loves to live in my mouth most of the time," Willow stammered.

" What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.

"You know, going on about Spike and Kate. I am so sorry," Willow said again, squeezing Buffy's arm.

Buffy laughed. " Why would I care that a vampire loves…" she paused as she caught Willow's bewildered expression. That name—Spike. Shit. It was supposed to mean something to her. Way to go Buffy. " Cause I do care," she continued, " I care…. it's upsetting…you know. With…with the, the feelings of—of pain and everything," Buffy finished lamely. And the Oscar for worst actress ever goes to…

Willow eyed her best friend critically. " Have you been smoking the magic weed again Buffy?" Willow asked dryly.

Buffy laughed nervously, going to a pitch that sounded more manic than sane. "No, I'm…I'm just using humor as a self defense mechanism, you know? Trying to laugh through the…the."

"Pain?" Willow asked, repeating Buffy's earlier words. " Yeah, I think you mentioned something about that."

Buffy smiled, trying to fade into the darkness. " Well, you know what they say, a tired slayer is a less than sane slayer."

"Are you really sure you are ok?" Willow asked.

" Yes," Buffy said, a little too forcefully. Thankfully they were back at the house and she could be alone.

They found Dawn waiting for them. "Dawn? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, stepping towards her sister.

Dawn's face remained sullen. " No, I think we've got a problem."

* * *

To be Continued… 


	33. Old Aquaintances Be Forgot

**32**

Old Acquaintances Be Forgot

* * *

Dawn yawned as she rolled over onto her back. The fog of sleep was still heavy and the blankets still held the heat of her body. It was days like these where she could lie in bed all day long, drifting in and out of sleep.

Other people, however, tried to wreck that for everyone else. Dawn heard an overly cheery " Smile!" before she heard the faint click and saw a brief flash of light against her closed eyelids.

Dawn groaned, peeking out beneath her lashes. " You do realize how incredibly creepy that is don't you?"

"Maybe a little—for you. But for me, it's purely entertainment."

"Yeah, that's where the creep factor comes in," Dawn grumbled as she pulled herself into a sitting position.

"You wanna know what's creepy, check out that animal that died on your head."

Dawn stuck her tongue out at her best friend. " Jenn, you better have a good reason for waking me up at such an ungodly hour."

Jenn smiled as she sunk down onto her bed. "First of all, it's 10 am—far from ungodly; secondly it's my house—my rules; and thirdly—yes I do," she reached down to the floor and pulled up a huge Starbucks cup and handed it to Dawn. " One eggnog latte!"

Dawn grinned in delight as she took the cup and sighed as she inhaled deeply.

"You are a god!" Dawn sighed, as she closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet scent of eggnog.

"Not quite. Close, but no quite," Jenn grinned, as she retrieved her own drink for the tray. " So you're probably wondering why I got them."

"Actually, I was wondering when Starbucks opened in Stars Hollow."

"Oh, it didn't. I drove to Hartford," Jenn said.

"Are you nuts of just a junkie?" Dawn laughed.

" A little from column A, a little from column B. But seriously, two words, Eggnog Latte! It's New Years Eve, the season of Christmas is almost officially over, and we have to stock up. Get our fill!"

Dawn laughed. " If it were possible, I think you'd get it injected straight into you veins."

"You can mock me all you want. But I believe I was the one who offered you a hide out and bought you coffee in bed."

"You're right," Dawn said, grinning," I apologize. Thank you."

Jenn picked at the lint on the blanket, deep in thought. " Not that you aren't always welcome here, but why the sudden need to run away from home for the night?"

"I'm not running. I just needed to get out of the house for a night. Have a girl's night and relax. You know?"

"I hear ya," Jenn said. " No problems with Jess?"

Not unless you count him turning into a vampire I kissed, Dawn though. " Nope. I do actually like to spend time with you, you know?"

"Who wouldn't," Jenn laughed. " Full house again?"

"Isn't it always?" Dawn asked. " Not that you'd know considering you've never come over. Why is that again?"

Jenn hesitated. "Well…like you said, full house and all that. I like my quiet."

"Right, cause you're so shy," Dawn added sarcastically.

"You know it," Jenn laughed, hoping the subject would change.

"I'd really like you to meet some people." Dawn said. " I think they are wondering if I've made you up. You should meet Buffy, Willow, Xander and Kate—you'd really like her."

Jenn looked down at her hands. " I will. Soon. But come on, what's on the docket for today?"

"I have to get back to the house. Scoo..Ah, family meeting," Dawn, said, quickly. Sometimes she got so comfortable with Jenn, she kept forgetting to watch what she said in fear she would betray her confidences.

Jenn wrinkled her nose. " Sounds very Brady Bunch."

"Yeah, I guess it does," Dawn said.

"So what's this Scoo—family meeting about?' Jenn asked.

Dawn laughed at the comment. " Just stuff. You know we're having a New Year's Party at the Inn. Just going over some last minute details," Dawn said, impressed at her own cover. " You coming tonight?"

Jenn shook her head. " I don't think so, not my scene."

"Let me guess, too many people?" Dawn asked, as Jenn flushed red. " To each there own I guess."

"Well, do you want some breakfast before you go?" Jenn asked.

"Love some!" Dawn pushed back the covers; a she stumbled to her feet. " First things first—gotta comb this nest on my head."

"Good idea!"

Dawn headed for the bathroom; she slowed as she caught the sound of a distant rumble. She paused, turning back to Jenn, who had stopped midway through making the bed and was now staring out the window with an intense expression on her face.

The rumble got louder and louder, sounding as if a train was barreling down Main Street. Suddenly, the ground jerked violently beneath them, pitching Dawn down onto her knees. A loud crack sounded overhead. Dawn caught sight of plaster about to make mush of her head, when a force pulled her backwards.

Dawn saw the plaster hit the ground where she had been only seconds ago. The shaking lasted only a couple of moments. Dawn realized that she was tearing against Jenn in the doorway of the bathroom. Together, they got to their feet, shaking plaster off of their clothes.

"How? Why…what," Dawn stammered, gesturing to the doorway.

Jenn patted the doorframe. " Well, you know what they say, a doorway is one of the safest places to be in an earthquake."

"No…you, but…you pulled me," Dawn stammered. " How did you get behind me when you were over there a second ago?"

Jenn frowned. " What are you saying? I ran over here. I think you must have hit your head."

"But, I thought," Dawn shook her head in disbelief. " That was an earthquake."

"Now you're catching on," Jenn said. " Was it your first?"

"Sadly, no," Dawn answered. " Thanks for…saving me. I still don't get how you got behind me so fast. I guess things move slower when you're about to be smooshed under plaster or something…but…"

"Not a problem," Jenn answered, quickly.

"Look, I better skip breakfast, I gotta get home," Dawn said in a hurry, grabbing her things. "Thanks for everything. Sorry to rush off. See you later, ok?"

Dawn waved a goodbye, closing the door behind her. Jenn's smile faltered. " Bet on it."

* * *

"You know it's the end of the world as we know it when we're getting bad vibrations," Dawn called, as she walked in the front door, tossing her jacket and keys onto the side table.

Buffy came running around the corner looking panicked. " Dawn! Where the hell have you been?" Buffy said, practically shouting as she threw her arms around Dawn. "And what the hell is up with your hair? Was there a tropical windstorm on the way over?"

Buffy and Dawn walked into the living room. " What happened to you nibblet?" Spike asked, his eyes focused on her head.

"Enough, I get it—the hair is not good!" Dawn stated. " I guess in all the destructions I lost the ability to hold a brush."

" Or a weedwacker," Xander muttered, with a sly smile. Dawn playfully punched him in the shoulder as she passed by.

"But no worries, I am unharmed in case you were distracted by the hair long enough to realize there was an EARTHQUAKE!" Dawn said indignantly.

"So back to where the hell you were?" Buffy said, with her hands on her hips.

"Buffy, I told you last night that I was going over to Jenn's for the night. Are you losing your mind or what?"

Buffy caught another concerned look from Willow, and cursed herself for adding to more Buffy critism. " Right, of course. Sorry, I'm a little sleep deprived. I forgot."

Dawn left to go clean herself up, while Buffy and Willow made coffee for the meeting. Xander was already fixing the front window—the only amount of damage from the small earthquake.

Xander stood back to admire his handiwork " It's been a long time since I've replaced a window. It's just like riding a bike."

"Your time is a little slower," Willow teased, as she carried in a tray.

"But good work!" Buffy said. " It doesn't feel like home until you've had to do some damage control."

"As much as I enjoy a good banter pet, would you mind drawing the blinds?" Spike called from the darkened hallway.

Xander sighed as he drew the blinds. Spike entered in a puff of smoke. " Hey, you're filter tip little buddy has to stay outside!" Willow said. " Or in the basement."

Spike retreated to put out his cigarette before joining them. Moments later, Giles and Kate joined them.

"Where were you guys? I didn't even see you arrive Kate," Willow said, as she handed Giles a mug of coffee.

"Outside, taking a walk," Kate answered. If Willow wasn't mistaken, Kate looked paler than normal.

"Do you want some coffee?" Willow asked her. " Or is that bad for the baby?"

Kate laughed. " If a 100 year time jump didn't hurt the baby, I'm sure a little caffeine wouldn't hurt, but I am just leaving. I'm not really feeling that great."

"Morning sickness, eh?" Buffy asked.

"Something like that," Kate answered, her voice dropping to a whisper when she saw Spike re-enter the room. Spike's eyes immediately dropped to her stomach as if trying to see the lump that hadn't begun to grow yet.

"You feeling alright luv?" Spiked asked, his face full of genuine concern.

"Just fine, thanks," Kate answered, as she slipped into her coat. " Listen, I'll see you guys tonight. Happy New Year!"

"See ya," came a chorus of voices.

"See you tonight?" Buffy repeated looking at Giles. " You actually mean to tell me that you aren't going to go on a tirade of how going to a party is irresponsible and we have to keep our eye on the prize?" She added a mock English accent to empathize.

" Well done," Giles answered dryly, cleaning his glasses for the umpteenth time since the earthquake. " In the past I've tried to dissuade you from going to this sort of thing, however, the evil seems to strike out at this town through these functions at the Inn. It would probably be the best place to be."

"He looks like Giles," Xander said, " and walks like Giles, but the sound he makes is funny."

Giles rolled his eyes and made that clucking sound with his tongue that he did when he was annoyed. Xander grinned at his own joke, but dropped it.

"So we go with the pretense of having fun, but have expectations of having to fight," Buffy said. " Sounds like a Tuesday in Stars Hollow."

"How far are we coming with this spell?" Giles asked.

"A couple of days left," Willow answered. " It's slow going but we're coming along pretty well."

"Yeah, what's this plan you keep talking about? And why is no one sharing?" Xander asked.

"We'll talk about it soon, everyone will have a part to play," Giles answered as he stirred his tea. " Even you," he said, looking between Xander and Spike.

"Oh goodie," Spike muttered, under his breathe.

"So everything goes on like normal," Buffy said. " Alright then, I'm going to go help kill that thing on Dawn's head and then get ready for tonight."

Giles pulled Xander aside. " There have been attacks in the past, I don't think tonight will be any different. The big bad is already here and it now appears to be able to appear as the dead, only remain in corporeal form as it does so. It is stepping up its game and tonight will just be another move in his game."

"Well, count me in," Xander said. " Give me something sharp and point me at the bad guy."

"I need you to get something for me Xander. And you are going to have to go out of town to do so," Giles said.

"No party?" Xander asked.

"No party," Giles clarified.

"Are you guys putting me out to pasture again?" Xander asked. " Cause I've proven I can fight, you don't have to keep sending me away."

"I don't believe that tonight is the final fight. I need to you bring something back, something very important."

"Well, ok then," Xander said. " Just so we're clear. Cause I can fight you know—just as long as he stays to my right."

"I know you can," Giles responded.

Xander seemed to consider the truth behind Giles' statement, eyeing him critically. " Ok the, so it's not about that."

"Correct," Giles responded, checking over his shoulder to make sure that they were still alone.

"Well good," Xander said, with a quick nod of his head.

"Now that you're mollified, may I continue?" Giles asked, wearily.

"Not sure what that word means, but go ahead," Xander said, growing concerned.

"I need you to go and pick it up tonight," Giles repeated. " I'd prefer if you kept it quiet."

"Are you sure about that Giles? I mean, you've been really secretive lately. Didn't tell us about Ashley or Brooke….or the Guardians—or the key and mystical vampire baby! You seem to know all the players but are keeping them away from each other, leaving us completely in the dark. Are you playing with me too? Or is there a special reason I can't let anyone know?"

"There is a lot going on Xander," Giles said. " I have been very outright, because there are so many card up in the air, explaining it all at once before it had even come to pass would have been reckless. Strength comes from experience. You and I both know that. They will all know about this tomorrow, and you will understand shortly, the reason I just don't want to mention this now."

Xander took that all in. " Right, I'm all ears. Well, more than eyes anyway." Xander laughed.

Giles rolled his eyes. Xander calmed. " Ok, so tell me. What am I going for?"

* * *

Deep below the ground preparations were also being made for tonight. But it wasn't about dresses, hair of who to kiss at the strike of midnight. It was planning for something else at the strike of midnight—destruction.

As he tipped the herbs into the large iron pot, his large—razor teeth—clicked together as he hummed a third incantation.

"Master," came a timid voice from the doorway. " I have brought the last ingredient as instructed." With that he pulled a severed head from the sac he was carrying over his shoulder.

"Well done Talon," the master said, as he took the head. He held it up so he could see the head better in the candle light. He smiled, his razor sharp smile as he held the head high. The head had belonged to a priest; his last expression had been of horror, which was still frozen on his face.

"A priest," he laughed—which was a horrifying sound in itself. " Not a necessity, but I can't pass on a good cliché."

Talon laughed along with his master, looking at him in awe. " What are you planning to do master?" Talon asked.

"Zyra wants Kate, the gypsy. Kate has been stubborn up until no. She has no ties and yet she clings to these humans like a lifeline. Zyra has tried to wait, but the end is coming and we need to hurry. Fortunately Zyra sees an accomplice in me and we shall prove ourselves once and for all Talon." He paused as he lowered the head into the thick blue liquid.

The liguid bubbled as blue and gold sparks flew into the air. He then turned back to Talon. " Did you know they call her dark robey guy?"

"Disrespectful Sir," Talon said with disgust.

He looked over his shoulder at Talon. " Well, at least not terribly clever anyway."

* * *

Dawn shook her damp hair out and hung her wet towel over the railing. She had, had to use a good amount of conditioner on her hair. She stood in front of her mirror and looked at her reflection. Her dark brown hair hung down to her shoulders and while in Rome, she had of couple of blond streaks put in. And even though it had been more than a month ago, every now and then she still surprised herself by how much older it made her look.

She turned now and looked at her dress hanging on the back of the door. She'd almost maxed out her card on that dress, and she'd have to work a lot of shifts at the Inn too pay it off. Or the world might end and then she wouldn't have to worry about it.

She knew that the odds of something going wrong tonight were high and yet she couldn't deny the excitement she was feeling. A high part of her was excited for Jess to see her in her dress.

"Dawn? You in here?" came Willow's voice.

"In here!" Dawn called.

Willow appeared in the doorway. " You're not even close to getting ready," Dawn, remarked.

"Right and you're going in a bathrobe and wet hair," Willow said sarcastically.

"Hey, I showered and we all know that takes the longest amount of time," Dawn said.

"In your case, sure," Willow agreed.

Dawn picked up a can of mousse as well as he heated rollers, she peeked at Willow out of the corner of her eye. Willow looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't seem to find the words.

"What's up Will? You have pensive face," Dawn said.

"This is probably going to sound strange, but I think there is something wrong with Buffy."

"You mean besides the obvious?" Dawn asked with a smile.

"You have been hanging out with Spike and Xander too long," Willow said. "Seriously Dawnie, maybe it is just me, but she seems different. This Kate and Spike thing—she just acts so weird about it."

"Of course she does," Dawn said. " It's a weird situation. I mean think about it—the two loves of her life were vampires who had children—the one thing they weren't supposed to be able to offer her—with other women. It'd be enough to make you act a little strange."

"Yeah, I know you're right," Willow said. " I guess it was just the way she was handling it. It was—strange."

"Sometimes we don't grieve the way others expect," Dawn, said, " Doesn't mean we don't feel the pain."

Willow reached out and tucked strand of Dawn's hair behind her ear, the way you would a child. " When did you get so smart?"

"Right around the time I grew boobs," Dawn replied, with a deadpan expression.

Willow rolled her eyes. " And just like that, you're back!"

"Well now that you're dong making fun of me, I better get read. You should go get ready too. Isn't Ashley going to be there?"

Willow paled. " I'm not sure."

"You still mad at her?" Dawn asked. " Because she was doing what we all have?"

"It's not about that Dawnie, I'm not mad. It's complicated." Willow said.

"The word complicated covers a variety of sins, doesn't it?' Dawn suggested knowingly.

"Stop being so intuitive, it creeps me out!" Willow said. " I'm going to go get ready now."

"See you later," Dawn said.

Willow laughed and headed back to her room. Dawn turned and looked at her dress again. She had selected a light pink satin dress. It was strapless, floor length with a form fitted bodice beaded with glass beads. There was also a large slit up the side that would show off a large amount of thigh, should she dance. A smile of excitement spread across her face once more.

* * *

Kate was standing in front of a full-length mirror as well. She was wearing a fitted, floor length, off the shoulder emerald dress that hugged her curves. Her black hair hung down her back in loose curls, almost looking blue in the light. No matter how she cut her hair, the moment her memory came back, so had her long hair.

She reached for the emerald green on her table and slid it into her thick curls, lifting it up on the side.

"I hate New Year's," Luke grumbled behind her. " It's another excuse to throw a party, make resolutions that are unrealistic and impossible to keep and is a buffet of disease the way everyone kisses everyone."

Luke stopped another rant, when he saw the image of Kate reflected back at him in the mirror. " Wow, you look stunning," He said as he came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist, planting a kiss on her bare shoulder.

"I'm surprised," Kate said.

"That you look good?" Luke asked.

"No that Luke Danes uses words like stunning," she laughed.

"You warrant it," he said, planting another kiss on her shoulder.

Kate turned in his arms to face him. She reached up and began to fidget with his tie. " You look pretty stunning yourself Mr. Danes."

"I feel like an idiot," he confessed looking uncomfortable in his suit.

"Well, you don't look like on if that's any consolation." Kate informed him.

Luke leaned in and kissed her. " When do we have to go?" Luke mumbled.

"I don't know if I like what you're suggesting," Kate teased.

"That's not what you were saying last night," Luke whispered. Kate felt the blood rush to her face. " It's so cute when you blush," he said, cupping her face in his hands.

Kate tipped her head up so that he could kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him back. " I suppose we could be a little late," Kate sighed, as she leaned against him.

Luke smiled, kissing her again. " I love New Year's."

* * *

Dawn ran her fingers through her hair and twisted it up into a mass of curls at the back of her head, pulling down several tendrils to frame her face.

She had to admit that she thought she looked pretty good.

"Lil' bit is all grown up," came Spike's voice from the hall.

Dawn turned to face him. " What do you think?"

Spike gave her a once over. " I think you look beautiful. Jess is a very lucky guy to have a girl like you on his arm."

"Thank you," she said, running her hands down the side of the silky fabric.

"You just make sure you stay on his arm and nowhere else," Spike warned her.

Dawn rolled her eyes. " Yes dad."

Spike smirked. " Are you going?" Dawn asked him.

"Someone has to look out for you nibblet," Spike said. " Plus I'm getting restless sitting her day after day. This big bad is the laziest yet. Any chance to get a little action and I'm there."

"And the fact that Kate is going to be there has no influence over you at all?" Dawn asked.

"That was a long time ago pet. It's different time, we're two different people." Spike said.

"Two people whose destinies are so entwined that you're having a miracle baby that could save the world of destroy it. Rights, it's just casual," Dawn, said, with a shrug of her shoulders.

Spike tented his fingers under his chin, with a cocky smile on his face. He pointed gestured towards Dawn as he said; " You know you were a lot easier to talk to when you had a thing for me. Then at least you just agreed with me or stared at me in awe."

Dawn's face went red instantly. " I…did not! Am not!" she stammered nervously as the heat spread across her face.

Spike chuckled under his breath, giving her his best piercing stare. " Right. Of course not pet. Cause most teenage girls want to hang out in a crypt and hear stories of murder."

Dawn couldn't be any more embarrassed. She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders sagging in defeat. " Oh god, this is so embarrassing."

"I thought it was sweet," Spike said.

"Sure," Dawn muttered. " That's what they always says to the scary girls that stalk them. Well, now that my face matches my dress I think it's time to go."

"We have some time," came Buffy's voice as she slid past Spike into Dawn's room.

Dawn's jaw dropped. " Buffy you look amazing."

Buffy seemed so startled by the affirmation, but recovered quickly. " Thanks Dawnie, so do you. You better watch that Jess keeps his hands to himself –er, in the non-self pleasuring sense of the word."

"Yeah, yeah—I got the parental lecture already from Spike," Dawn informed her.

Buffy turned to Spike as though just realizing he was there. " Oh, well—good."

By the look on Spike's face, he had clearly noticed Buffy. His eyes roamed over her in such a way, Buffy was wondering if her dress was see through. Buffy was wearing a strapless bodice in a shimmery gold color—with matching skirt that blended to make it all look like one piece. The skirt ended just an inch above her knees with a 3-inch slit on either side. The beauty was in the details—with a darker gold thread embroidered in a spiral design over the sides of the bodice and along the hem of the skirt. She wore gold stilettos with laces that wrapped around her calves.

Buffy caught Spike's look and was so startled by it that she gave him a double take, checking that she was the target his aim was directed at. She took in the bleached blond vampire who wore dress pants, a black tailored shirt and a black blazer. He may have been a vampire, but she had eyes and he looked gorgeous.

Dawn looked between the two of them, as a smile stretched across her face. " Ah, would you two like a minute. Possibly an hour?"

"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed, snapping out of it. Buffy shot her a dirty look before turning and exiting the bedroom. " Be ready to go in 20 minutes," Buffy called, halfway down the hall.

* * *

Below the ground the demon master stirred the ingredients one last time. Silently he picked up the urn that Talon offered and used forceps to lower it into the pot. The liquid steamed and bubbled as the urn disappeared below the surface.

"What are we doing?" Talon asked, his curiously was getting the best of him even though he knew that asking would sound as if he were questioning his master—this was a servant no-no.

"Ah, here's where the genius comes in, Zyra needs Kate to embrace the evil within. What stop them from embracing evil, Talon?"

"Ah…well, master…it's…" Talon stammered, unsure of what he should say.

"Morality my dear friend, the belief and sense of right and wrong. Every human has it and most live by it. Now what if we take away that morality?"

"Chaos master?" Talon offered.

He demon master laughed. " I couldn't have said it any better myself." Talon looked pleased with himself.

"We take that away and there inhibitions are gone as well as their sense of right and wrong. Then actions become selfishly motivated with no thought of consequence. You take a young girl with the huge responsibility of a baby—a baby she wants to protect more than anything. Then if someone close to her were to offer her power to protect that baby, then her lack of morality wouldn't keep her from accepting, now would it?"

"It's brilliant master!" Talon said eagerly.

"Yes, it's one of my better spells," the demon master said proudly.

"Who will offer her the power master?" Talon asked.

"Zyra, of course," he answered. " Only she'll be wearing the face of a beloved sister."

Talon clapped his hands together. " And you will infect all of them at the Inn."

"It's easier than trying to get on individual, besides it cause the perfect distraction. Everyone running around living for themselves isn't going to care what Kate is up to."

"You are so wise master," Talon said, bowing his head.

"Yes, yes." The demon master drew a knife across his own palm, allowing the blood to drip into the pot. He laughed loudly as the liquid turned black. Talon jumped around excitably, laughing in earnest along with his master.

The demon master turned, wiping his hands on his robe. He lifted a wooden spoon, skimmed the surface, and sipped it carefully. Concentration furrowed his brow, as he considered. " I think we should let this simmer for another ten minutes or so."

* * *

Once everyone was gathered in the living room, Willow reached into her bad and pulled out 5 rings. She handed them out and then waited until they were all looking at her again, before she began.

"Wow, I thought we already got our Christmas presents Will," Buffy said, as she looked at the sterling silver band lying on the palm of her hand.

"They aren't presents—well not really. They are magically imbued with our essences. See there are markings—six of them, and they each correspond to one of us. If something is wrong the ring will light up letting us know who is in trouble, say their name, and the magic will act as a locater spell so that you can find it. It acts like the spell Tara did in the woods that time," She said to Xander. " A light will lead you to the trouble. If you find yourself in trouble, just slip the ring off your finger, if the ring is off your finger for longer than 30 seconds then it triggers the other rings. Everyone clear on that?" Willow asked.

"That's ingenious," Buffy said, as she looked over the band.

"Well done Willow," Giles said.

"It only lasts 24 hours," Willow said. " Remember once it goes on, don't remove it unless you're in trouble."

"Right, ok." Buffy said. " So everyone have fun then!"

Everyone grabbed their coats and headed out. Willow took Spike aside, handing him a sixth ring. " I need you to give this to Kate. It's important that we keep an eye on her too, even if she needs her space."

Spikes looked from the ring and then back to Willow. Anyone of them could have given the ring to Kate, but Spike had a feeling that Willow was giving Spike a reason to get Kate alone.

Willow nodded to him, knowingly, patted his arm and smiled. " Let's go have fun."

The demon master lifted the urn from the pot and fried it on his robe. There was nothing special about it, no markings that would draw one's eye—just like it should be.

He handled it carefully, handing it to Talon. " You know what to do. I'm trusting you Talon, get it in there without anyone seeing you."

"I will serve you well my master," Talon said, bowing low as he back away, holding the urn close to his heart.

Midnight was still a couple of hours away, but he didn't waste any time. His mission was important, he served only his master and this job was left to only h him. He was the chosen one. He would make his master proud.

The Inn looked like something out of a movie. Rich green boughs of evergreen hung from the ceilings and framed each room were decorated with white Christmas lights and red bows. A huge Christmas tree was placed off to the right and was decorated in red and silver. There were old fashioned, wrought iron lampposts adorned with boughs and lights. In fact the entire place was lit with either the romantic glow of white candles or with the fire fly inspired white lights.

It felt like you were walking into a Winter Wonderland. It was a place where you got to dress up and dance, sing and talk with people you knew. Everything just seemed heightened by being in the presence of magic.

The Inn was crowded with townspeople so elegantly dressed that they looked out of place. Waiters and waitresses were dressed in suits and made their way through the crowd, carrying silvers trays full of food. Buffy's group came through coat check and entered the crowd of townspeople.

"Ok, ok—why am I suddenly incredibly nervous?" Willow asked, her voice shaking a little.

"Because a majority of us could be massacred at any moment," Buffy said, in an over exaggerated upbeat tone. Willow shot her a look that gave away the fact that she probably had been thinking that very thing.

Buffy smiled. " Don't worry about it, everything will…" Buffy faded off as she spotted Lorelai entering the room from the kitchens. She was wearing a simple strapless black cocktail dress, which looked anything but simple on her. It fit her like a second skin, seeming to leave nothing and everything to the imagination at the same time.

"Buffy?" Willow asked.

"Ok!" Buffy said, tearing her eyes from Lorelai. " Everything will be ok. Let's just try to have as much fun as possible—you know—before the fighting and terror starts."

"You know," Dawn, said. " Everything could be just fine."

"Oh please!" Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "Cause parties in which I attend are always so boring. You should never gamble."

Dawn spotted Jess off to the side of the room and she felt the nerves bundle up inside her again. "Well, as fun as this is—bye!"

"Absolutely not a loyal bone in her body," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Not when a James Dean look-a-like is after you," Willow said.

An hour later, Buffy and Willow were still standing in pretty much the same spot as they had been after arriving. Drinks had come and gone, and yet they stood, watching the people around them, and listening to the sound of Christmas carols,

"Why are we always the loners at parties?' Buffy asked. " I mean we're young, we're hot, we're fun…"

"We make good statues," Willow continued.

"For example," Buffy agreed.

"Willow?"

Buffy and Willow turned towards the speaker. Ashley smiled nervously. " Hey guys," she said.

Willow appeared speechless, so Buffy took the lead. " Hey Ash, Happy New Years!"

"Happy New Years," Ashley said, her gaze returning back to Willow's. " Do you think I could talk to you for a minute?"

"I…well," Willow looked to Buffy. " Do you mind?"

"No, go—couldn't very well be a loner with you standing here anyway," Buffy said, lightly.

Willow turned and headed off with Ashley. Buffy picked up a glass from a passing tray and downed it in one gulp. She replaced the glass and grabbed another.

"You might want to pace yourself," Lorelai said, coming to stand beside Buffy. " Or else you'll end up on my bathroom floor again."

Buffy jumped, startled, her drink going down the wrong pipe causing her to choke and sputter. Buffy coughed, wiping her chin with the back of her hand. " Well now, that was attractive," Buffy, joked.

"Sorry to startle you," Lorelai said. " I just saw you standing by yourself."

"Yeah, I do that a lot," Buffy, laughed. " But I don't mind the company." They looked at each other sharing a smile.

"Lorelai? Lorelai!" came a familiar voice.

Lorelai groaned. " I'm so sorry."

"About what?" Buffy asked.

"You'll see," Lorelai said as she turned. " Mom! Dad! Hi!"

"Your incompetent waiters are carrying around trays that are half empty—you are aware of that aren't you?" Emily Gilmore asked.

"Well mom, optimists would say the trays are half full!" Lorelai said, trying to keep her voice light.

"Lorelai, you are the manager as such you should be aware of your staff."

"I am aware mother I'm sure they were on their way to the kitchen to refill their trays."

"Somehow I highly doubt that," Emily said, indignantly.

"Now Emily, I'm sure with everything going on, Lorelai was just about to get there. Please excuse our manners young lady, this is my wife Emily and my name is Richard," he said to Buffy, offering his hand.

Buffy shook his hand. " Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore, I'm Buffy Summers."

Buffy shook Emily's hand as well, amazed at how quickly Emily's demeanor changed as she smiled and made with the pleasantries. Suddenly, Buffy was able to understand what Lorelai hadn't been talking about all this time.

* * *

"Did you realize that ever guy in the place is staring at you?" Luke asked.

"First of all I'm sure that's an exaggeration and second of all, thank you. Are you a little jealous, maybe?' Kate asked.

"I might be if it was anyone but me dancing with you," Luke said.

"You're still upset about having to dance aren't you?" Kate asked.

"It's not so bad," Luke said. " As long as it's slow."

Kate laughed, resting her head against his shoulder. A motion caught her attention and Kate found herself looking into Spike's eyes. Spike's expression was unreadable, but Kate must have tensed because Luke pulled back to look at her.

"Are you alright?" Luke asked.

"Yes fine," she whispered—her eyes never leaving Spike.

Luke turned them so he could see what had captured Kate's attention. The line of his jaw hardened as he clenched his teeth. He didn't really know who this guy was, but he didn't like the way he stared at Kate all the time.

"Kate," Spike said, without even glancing at Luke. " I need to speak to you—it's important."

His tone spoke volumes. Kate nodded before turning back to Luke. " I'll be right back."

Kate followed, as Spike led her to a less crowded area. Someone in a hurry hit Kate on the shoulder. She gasped as she caught sight of a short man in a black robe, clutching something to his chest. Kate caught the look of fear in his eyes before the crowd swallowed him up.

Before Kate had a second to think on it, Spike had pulled her into his arms. Kate tensed as his arm encircled her waist as his other hand held hers against his chest.

"What are you doing?" Kate hissed. " I thought you said you wanted to talk."

"I did and I do," Spike said with a smile. " Doesn't mean we can't dance while we talk."

"And you are holding onto me tightly because you don't want me running away, I suppose," Kate whispered.

"Is it really so bad," Spike whispered in her ear. His lips were so close that she felt them lightly touch her ear as he spoke.

"No," Kate admitted, because he sounded so hurt. "But if you are purposely making a big deal of this because you want to bug Luke, then I have no interest in playing this role. This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with your ego."

"Calm down, people might stare," Spike said. " Not that you've had problems with that tonight. You look happy with the lumberjack; nice to see you've moved on with your life so easily. Come back from the dead, get pregnant and have a boyfriend that could double as the Bounty paper towel bloke."

Kate stared at him for a full minute before she could think of an answer. " First of all, don't think or suggest for a minute that the baby and time jump was my choice. Prophecies are funny things. And secondly, my relationship with Luke is known of your business."

"It bloody well is my business when the child growing inside you is mine." Spike whispered. " Does tall, dark and plaid even know?"

"No, he doesn't," Kate, whispered. " And I'll tell him in my own time, thanks. How dare you assume my life is perfect? I don't even know who I am most of the time and I'm pregnant Spike. Pregnant. And I don't have normal worries like all first time mothers, but instead I worry about the fact that my child could be good or evil with one bad choice from me. I worry about the fact the someone will always be after me! And I like a guy who cares about someone that isn't me—and he's great Spike. He's a very wonderful guy. And if that's bothering or hurting you—that wasn't my intention. Luke is great Spike, but I don't love him—how can I when he doesn't know who I really am. So please stop looking at me like I have it all figured out when I'm just trying to play a part."

Spike nodded, his expression serious. " I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was that bad. I'm a bit of a sod, aren't I?"

Kate smiled. " A little. What were you going to tell me?"

"Oh right," Spike released her so that he could reach into his pocket. He explained the nature of the ring before reaching for her hand and slipping in onto her finger.

"Thank you," Kate said, as she looked down at the small silver band.

Spike looked over her shoulder quickly, before pulling her behind a pillar. " Spike, what are you…?"

"Just let me do something before you start shouting."

He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers. He was soft at first, in case she was about to pull away. She didn't move, and so he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around her to draw her against him. He nipped her lower lip sharply and playfully as he pulled away, causing her to gasp in surprise. Kate's eyes slowly opened, her lips still parted.

Spike smiled, running his thumb over her lower lip. His eyes bore deep into hers as though he was telling her something private.

"Just in case I don't see you at midnight," Spike whispered.

And then he was gone. Once second she was staring into his eyes and the next she was looking at a large fichus tree with the feeling of his mouth on hers, still fresh in her mind.

* * *

"All the signs point to something happening tonight Will, you have to get everyone out of here," Ashley insisted, trying to speak in hushed tones so that no one would over here.

"We are well aware of the possibility," Willow said. " But if it goes down, it's going to happen here. We'll get everyone else out in time. Don't worry."

"I have a bad feeling about this Willow. You have to get out of here," Ashley insisted.

"We have it under control," Willow insisted. " This is what we do. We don't run, we fight."

"I'm well aware of your fighting abilities," Ashley said, her eyes dropping to the floor.

Willow crossed her arms. " So is that what this is about? I'm truly sorry about what happened Ash, I really am. But I don't think that I should be around you, it's not good for either of us."

Ashley sighed. " As much as I'd love to talk about us, I'm seriously trying to help here Willow, but you refuse to listen to me under misconceptions of why I'm here."

Willow shrugged. "We'll be fine. I think you should go."

Ashley took a last look around the room and then back at Willow. " I'll prove it to you, Will."

Willow nodded. " I have to go." And then she turned and walked away. Again.

* * *

"What was that about?" Luke asked, as he handed Kate a drink. Kate took a sip, letting the cold liquid run down the back of her parched throat. Luke had cast her a strange look when she had refused champagne and asked for water, but she had made an excuse about taking medication just before hand.

"Oh nothing really, just family stuff," Kate said.

"You're related to him?" Luke asked.

Kate almost choked on her water. " No! No, no…we aren't related. We've just known each other for a long time. A really, really long time."

"That long eh?" Luke said with a smile.

Kate nodded, sipping her water again. "Listen, I don't really want to talk about that right now. It's almost midnight, and I just want to enjoy the New Year."

"Ok everyone!" Came Lorelai's voice from the small podium. " Time for the countdown…ready?"

Everyone began to countdown from ten.

"Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one—Happy New Year!!!!" Everyone chorused.

Ol' Langsyne began to play and the sounds of kissing and laughter filled the air. Luke turned to Kate, wrapping his arms around her. Kate caught the sight of Spike watching her and she found herself watching him, even while Luke's mouth came down upon hers.

While everyone was distracted, the small urn hidden behind the Christmas tree began to spin in circles, emitting a low hum. Soon sparks of red, gold and blue began to shoot out of it and a stream of light flowed throughout the room, spinning a circle around the guests. The spell was cast.

Kate pulled away from Luke, her mind spinning. "Are you ok?" Luke asked.

"Fine, just fine. Did you feel that? It felt like the room just dipped or something," Kate said, holding her head in her hands.

"I didn't know I was that great of a kisser," Luke said.

Kate laughed. " Calm down there Romeo…I just got a little dizzy spell. I think I need to get out for some fresh air."

"Do you want me to come with you/?" Luke asked, taking her arm.

"No, no. I'm fine. I'll be right back."

Kate hurried away, before Luke could insist on following her. She smiled at everyone, but hurried through the crowd before they could insist on talking to her. She pulled open the door and practically fell onto the porch. The blast of cold air hit her, chilling her instantly. She gulped in the fresh air as quickly as she could, holding on to one of the pillars for support

"Katie?" came a voice from the lawn.

Kate's eyes shot open as she looked around the darkened lawn. It couldn't be. She was hearing things. " Who's there?"

"Katie, come here," came the voice again.

"Sarah?' Kate whispered. It was impossible, it couldn't be.

Kate let go of the pillar, stumbling down the stairs onto the grass. She saw a figure of a woman standing on the grass only a few feet away. Light from the Inn shone across the grass lighting up her face. Kate's heart slammed against her ribcage as she looked upon the face of her sister. Her dead sister.

"Sarah? Is that really you?"

Sarah walked forward, holding her hands out to Kate. Kate stared for a minute, unsure of what to do. Her mind still felt like mush and her body felt like a bag of bones. What was happening to her? Kate fell into her sister's arms, feeling happier than she had felt in a long time.

"Katie, I missed you," Sarah whispered against Kate's hair.

"Oh Sarah, you have no idea," Kate cried, holding her sister tightly.

"Katie I don't have long. I have something to tell you. A warning." Sarah said, tilting Kate's face up so that they could see each other.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Kate asked.

"You are pregnant with a very special baby Katie. A baby that needs your protection more than anything. But there are others who will want to hurt you and your unborn baby."

"I know," Kate said. " I'm doing the best I can."

"And with all that going on," Sarah continued. " It's hard to know who to trust. Those people that you hang around with. How do you know you can trust them? Maybe they want the baby for themselves, maybe they don't. It's hard to know Katie. But you need to be independent. You need magic of your own so that no matter what happens, you will be able to hold your own."

"How?' Kate asked. " I have no special powers."

"I can give you power Katie. Yours to do with whatever you want. You can use them if you need to. It's up to you. You can take your life in your own hands. Protect yourself. Protect that baby."

"How?" Kate asked again.

"All you have to do is accept, my darling," Sarah said, stroking her sister's cheek with the tips of her fingers. " All I want is for you to be safe."

"I will protect this child," Kate insisted. She felt a nagging little voice in the back of her head, telling her to think about this. To question what was happening. And yet, when she tried to listen to that voice, it started to get fuzzier and further away. And at the same time, it was as though her thought process was becoming clearer. She wanted to protect her baby and was being offered power to do so. So she would take it. It was that simple.

Sarah pulled out a small vial out of her coat and handed it to Kate. " Just take this. It's a concoction of magic. Enough to last until the child is born."

Kate took the vial, unscrewed the top and then drank it as if it were a shot. Sarah pulled out a knife and ran the edge of the blade along her open palm. " Now I will share some of my power with yours. You are a gypsy darling, you have the power if you need it. My blood will just help you bring it out a little before you can find your own ways. Hold out your hand."

Kate held out her hand, palm up. Sarah drew a line along Kate's hand. Kate sucked in her breathe sharply at the stinging sensation in her hand. Kate watched blood rise to the surface. Sarah grabbed Kate's hand in her own, squeezing their hands together tightly.

Suddenly Sarah's eyes went black, her face disappearing and the face of Kate's stared back at her. Kate opened her mouth and a scream ripped out of her throat as both of them shot apart with such force that Kate bounced as she hit the ground. Pain seared throughout her body, as if something had crawled inside her and was burying deep inside her. She clutched her hand over her necklace, the jewel embedding itself into the palm of her hand.

Kate's back arched off the ground as it ripped its way through her in a ripple effect. Zyra seemed to dissolve into a stream of light that flew towards Kate entering her through her eyes, nose and mouth—fully possessing her.

Finally, she lay still. Kate's eyes were wide and unblinking, and she lay very still. Just then, Kate made a movement—a small one, but it was there. And then her eyes drifted close as if she was just falling asleep.

The cool wind blew through the grass, lifting Kate's hair into the air and tossing it around her face. The faint sound of music and laughter could be heard outside as the party continued inside, no one realizing that one of their guests lay on the grass outside.

Suddenly Kate's eyes snapped open, revealing black eyes. It seemed like she was floating, as she bolted upright without the aid of having to move her limbs. She held out her hands in front of her flexing her hands. The cut on her palm disappeared before her eyes. She cupped her hand and suddenly a bolt of fire rose from her palm, forming into a ball in her cupped palm.

She closed her fist again and the fire extinguished. Her lips curled into a wicked smile as she looked back at the Inn. "Well," she said, huskily. " A girl could get used to this."

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	34. Losing Our Inhibitions

33

LOSING OUR INHIBITIONS

* * *

Dawn stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was still pale, even her lips drained of their color. She ran a cloth under the faucet again, letting the cold water run over the inside of her wrists. It felt better. She squeezed out the cloth and held it against her forehead.

Either she was coming down with hot flashes at a very early age, or she was coming down with a flu that had hit all of a sudden. The latter made more sense, but it was still too strange. One minute she was counting down to midnight and kissing her boyfriend (reeling in the fact it was her first ever New Year's kiss) and the next thing she knew, the room was spinning and she felt the contents in her stomach roll uneasily.

"Dawn, you blowing chunks, or what?" Jess called through the door.

It was funny to hear the words ' blow chunks' said with such concern, that she almost laughed. She rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's sympathetic phrasing.

"No chunk blowing. I'm fine," she called, her voice sounding weak even to her own ears.

The next thing she saw was Jess standing behind her, his face looking a little pale as well, but full of concern. Dawn smiled back at his reflection. " I don't think you're actually supposed to be in here."

Jess shrugged his shoulders. " What are they going to do? "

Dawn smiled, turning to face him. " You're awfully cocky aren't you?"

Jess stepped closer, resting his hands on either side of her hips, leaning in a little closer. " Maybe I just missed you." He leaned in the rest of the way and kissed her softly. " Do you wanna get out of here?"

Dawn tossed the cloth over her shoulder and it made a loud, wet, thwack sound as it bounced off the mirror and into the sink. " You know," she said with a half smile," I am feeling better."

She rested her arms around his shoulders, minimizing the space between them. " Where do you wanna go?"

He shot her his best half smile that made the butterflies spin in her stomach. She smiled back. " No, not really."

Jess put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled his lips against his. Dawn surprised herself by kissing back with equal enthusiasm. She pressed herself as close as possible to him. Normally, she wouldn't be able to be so brazen with him, always allowing him to take the lead and she would follow. It suited her, this way she didn't come off in any way that could make her look stupid. Besides, she could never really think straight when he was kissing her. But something about this just seemed so right. There was no fear, no worrying about what he might think. She felt uninhibited and that felt good.

* * *

"That was bizarre," Lorelai said, as she gulped down the rest of her wine.

Buffy nodded in agreement, as she took in her surroundings. Everyone seemed to be having a great time—some a little too much. The old couple—the Thompsons—were going at it like no one's business. Only, they problem was, they were making it everyone's business. Buffy looked away as fast as possible, but it would take a large amount of therapy to wipe away that image. She was considering another forgetting spell.

"What is going on?" Lorelai asked, as she caught the Thompsons as well. " I think I need another drink." She added as the image of two old people making out was emblazoned in her mind.

Buffy didn't hesitate to hand her, her own glass. " Make that two."

Lorelai took the glasses and headed for the kitchen. A commotion to her right caught her attention so suddenly that she almost dropped her glasses in shock. There was a woman, yelling loudly about etiquette, as she hit a waiter over the head repeatedly with a French baguette loaf.

Lorelai had to squint her eyes to make out what and whom she was seeing. But it wasn't possible; she had to be seeing things. "Mom? Mom!!" Lorelai set down the glasses and hurried to her mother's side.

Emily Gilmore looked so infuriated that it was almost comedic. And there was Richard Gilmore urging her on. Lorelai half expected her father to pick up a dinner roll and join his wife.

"I told you that you have to keep the tray full," Emily Gilmore screeched. Thump. Thump. Thump. The waiter covered his head, his suit now covered in crumbs. " You might as well carry an empty tray. Any imbecile could do it. It's not as though it's a hard thing to do. Are you an imbecile? Is that why you're a waiter?"

"Get off me you crazy witch," the waiter yelled.

Lorelai pushed through the crowd and wrapped her arms around her mother's waist. " Mom, you're starting to come off a tad crazy here," she said, her voice, hilariously, composed for the situation. She tried to pull her mother off the waiter.

"A tad crazy?" Richard questioned. " She's absolutely feral!"

Lorelai caught the amorous look in her father's eye and rolled her own. "You've got to be kidding me?!"

Emily blushed. " You think I'm feral Richard?"

"Like a modern day Annette Taylor," Richard cooed, taking his wife's hand.

A nearby women whispered in Lorelai's' ear. " Who is Annette Taylor?"

Lorelai shrugged. " I don't know, a women with a strong affinity for loafs?"

"Let's go home Emily," Richard said, ignoring his daughter's sarcasm.

"Yes, by all means, please go!" Lorelai said, waving them towards the door.

"Oh, I've always wanted to try it in the backseat of a car!" Emily giggled as Richard urged her towards the door.

"Well, we've got the new Bentley model, Emily with a large backseat, I don't see why not!"

"Please stop," Lorelai muttered.

"Have you got my heart medication?" Richard teased, smacking her wife's bottom.

"Right here!" Emily laughed, holding up the pill case as they crossed the threshold.

Everyone was very quiet. Too quiet. Lorelai stared at the door in shock. " I…I think I just threw up in my mouth a little," Lorelai muttered under her breath.

"You know your mom is kinda hot," the waiter guy said, after a moment.

"Oooh shut up you!" Lorelai pressed her lips tightly together as she picked up a dinner roll from the basket and threw it at the poor—crumb strew—waiter. It made a satisfying thump as it hit him between the eyes. Grinning, Lorelai headed to the kitchen for her—much deserved—drink.

* * *

Talon hurried into his master's chamber. Talon's usually pale face was now flushed with the rosy hue of an adrenaline rush. He paused at the doorway so that he could catch his breath before greeting his master.

"You're late," came the booming voice of the master demon.

Talon fell to his knees and bowed his head to his master; his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation for his punishment. If his mater wasn't please, then Talon was no long for this world.

"I'm sorry master, I'm afraid I couldn't help but see for myself, your magic at work," Talon replied humbly, keeping his head bent low.

"Well I guess I can't blame you for that." The demon master replied, as he lifted Talon to his feet by grabbing a hold of Talon's robe. " What did you see?"

"Well sir, some chaos was taking place. I do apologize for my ignorance, but I thought there would be more chaos."

The demon master laughed loudly, creating a booming echo throughout the tiny cavern. Poor Talon jumped in surprise, his heart racing. " Talon, my dear servant, that is true. My spell taps into the victim's subconscious, the inhibitions that they bury deep inside, for some it will take but a moment to shake the foundation they have built and for others it will take longer. Those who let their feelings out without conscious will react to my spell quickly, those who bury them under the level of right and wrong will take much longer—but not too long," he chuckled at this. " Once the infection gets in, it will grow and grow until no thought of morality exists. It will be nothing, but selfish acts. They will only be out for themselves."

"Sure," Talon began, trying in vain to keep the doubt out of his voice, " I must admit that, from what I saw….what I mean is…"

"Oh Talon," the demon master sighed. "Please spit it out! I have demons to see, people to kill, entrails to mix and dry cleaning to retrieve."

"Oh, I picked that up already," Talon, said.

"Already? Wow, they do excellent time," the demon master said, consulting his watch. " And the blood stains?"

"Gone sir," Talon assured him.

"Excellent! Excellent, well, that pleases me greatly. Have him brought with us. You can never get good service in the underworld."

"Done sir."

"Now what were you going on about?" The demon master asked.

"Oh, I just thought that some of the Inn's guests seemed to realize they were acting strangely."

"Wouldn't you, if you were acting selfishly and without thought? My spell was not made to mask that—it's human nature to question oneself. But that's why this spell is perfect. They may find it odd, but they will not question their newfound freedom."

"Excellent sir!" Talon said, finally satisfied with the explanation.

"Yes, yes, you keep saying that. I suppose I can't hear it enough."

"Yes sir," Talon responded.

The demon master cleared his throat loudly. " I said I can't hear it enough…"

"Oh yes sir," Talon said. " You're so wise and this spell is absolutely flawless, brilliant and evil."

"Oh, please." The demon master laughed humbly. "How you go on."

* * *

Luke closed the cash register and handed Kirk his change. Kirk stared down at his open palm, his lips moving as he silently counted his change. Luke counted to ten in his head, resisting the urge to slap Kirk upside the head. He could have been at the Inn right now—not his favorite place to be—but shortly after midnight Kate had complained of a headache and they had returned here. Cesar had volunteered to stay the night, allowing Luke to keep the Diner open extra late for some extra business.

However, once they had returned back, Luke had sent Cesar home and said that he would clean up and close up himself. Luke had regretted that offer as soon as he saw Kirk.

"Why do you do that?" Luke asked, even though he knew getting Kirk to participate in a conversation was never a good idea. Nothing Kirk said made sense to Luke anyway.

"Do what?" Kirk asked.

Luke gestured towards Kirk's hand. " That. Count your change."

"To make sure I've received the correct amount," Kirk answered. Wasn't that obvious?

"Why?" Luke asked again. "In all the years of eating here I've always given you the correct amount and yet every day you stand there and count your change."

"Well it's my right as a patron to make sure I've been given the right amount of change," Kirk began, " You see Luke, I…"

"Oh shut up," Luke sighed. "Just count your damn change and go." Luke grabbed the dishtowel from his shoulder and began to wipe off the counter.

"Ah, Luke, you've given me the wrong amount," Kirk said, moments later.

"What?!?! Oh come on, you're making that up. There's n way I--."

"You gave me 0.25₡ too much," Kirk interrupted.

"Oh my god!" exclaimed a patron.

At first Luke thought a customer was agreeing with Kirk's irksome ways, but when he looked up he noticed the customer's stare was not reserved for him or Kirk. Luke followed the customer's stare and felt his own jaw drop.

The few people who had come out on the cold New Year's Even (having no place else to go) were all very shocked at what they were seeing. The males were also thrilled that they had showed up. The diner was eerily silent as they stared towards the rear of the diner.

Kate was the cause of the distraction. She had managed to capture everyone's attention. But anyone standing in nothing but a black silk robe and nothing else, might draw the same attention.

Luke had promised her that he would be up soon; he supposed that this meant his time was up. Luke threw the dishtowel down and headed to the front door. " Ok! Time to go! Happy New Years and all that other crap." He started grabbing the customer's plates and handing it to them. " Bring the plate back tomorrow."

"You're closed tomorrow," a customer grumbled, trying to sneak a last peek at Kate over Luke's shoulder.

"Well, bring it back on Wednesday then," Luke said. " Let's go!"

Kirk was the last one. " But you gave me too much."

"Keep it! Merry Christmas," Luke said, as he pushed Kirk out the door.

Luke locked the door and drew all the blinds before turning towards Kate. Kate didn't even seem to be embarrassed by half a dozen people seeing her in almost nothing.

"Didn't you know we were still open?" Luke practically yelled.

"Oh, I knew," Kate, said, walking towards him. Though the word sauntering would be more appropriate. Though she'd undressed down to a silk robe, she still wore her stilettos; which only accentuated that amount of leg she was showing.

She ran her hands up Luke's chest, leaning against him. She gripped his hair in one hand, pulling his head to one side. She caught his earlobe between her teeth, knowing gently. Then she released it to whisper seductively in his ear. " I just wanted to get your undivided attention."

At tat, she pressed against him in such a way that she was molded perfectly to his body. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt the heat of her body against his. "I thought you had a headache."

"Headache's gone, baby," Kate said, a wicked smile on her face.

* * *

"What do you want to do now?" Jess asked. His arm was wrapped around Dawn's shoulder as they walked down the main street of Stars Hollow.

"I don't know," Dawn, said, holding up a lawn gnome. " Why did we steal this again?"

"Because Mrs. Ferguson is annoying and it was funny."

"Oh, I get that, but why do we still have it? It's a little creepy," Dawn, said.

"A few minutes ago you thought it was cute," Jess reminded her.

Dawn shrugged. " Woman's prerogative—now it's creepy."

"Woman's prerogative, what does that even mean? Seems like an excuse you use to explain everything."

"We have the right to change our minds at any time without notice. It's just the way of the world, jump aboard bucko."

"Bucko?" Jess asked.

"That's right. Bucko. I like it. Women's prerogative."

Jess sighed. There was no way he could win against this. Dawn elbowed him in the side. " What?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Dawn asked. Clearly, she had been talking while he was busy thinking.

"No, I was ignoring your insane women logic—male prerogative." Jess added with a sly smile.

"You are making a kind of sense, that's not," Dawn said. She stopped short suddenly as she caught sight of something. " Hey, wait up a minute."

She shrugged off Jess' arm and stepped forward. Lifting the gnome by its ceramic feet she began to turn in circles.

"Now, we're dancing with the creepy gnome?" Jess asked sarcastically.

"You'll see," Dawn, muttered. With a grunt she let go of the gnome and stopped to watch as it flew through the air and crashed through the picture window of the house in front of them.

"Good arm," Jess said. " What was that about?"

The lights in the house flicked on. Dawn cursed under her breath and grabbed onto Jess' arm. "Come on, let's go!"

They turned and ran back towards the town's square, slipping and sliding over the icy ground.

When they reached the gazebo, they collapsed in a fit of laughter. " So what was that about?" Jess asked, when the laughter subsided.

Dawn answered with the shrug of her shoulders. " It was Mr. Smitts house, he's my French teacher and he gave me a C on my last test."

"Did you deserve it?" Jess asked.

"Hey, I just threw a gnome through a window. Do you think logic is riding shotgun in this rant?"

"Sacre Blu," Jess muttered and then they both started to laugh again.

"Wow, you're a bad ass," he added sarcastically.

"Am too!" Dawn said defensively. " I steal all the time—err—stole."

"Too many groundings and time outs?" Jess joked.

Dawn frowned. "Ate you mocking my bad ass past?"

This made Jess laugh harder. Dawn crossed her arms, staring at him with a frown on her face. She was not amused.

"Maybe a little," Jess answered once the laughter had subsided.

"You think you're so bad, broody boy?" Dawn shot back.

"Broody boy? I do not brood!" Jess said defensively.

"You do too brood. " Dawn thought about that for a moment. " Crap! My sister and I do have the same taste in men. " Dawn slapped her forehead with an open palm. " Next I'll be dating G.I. Joe and a follically friend English vamp."

"What are you talking about? What's a vamp?"

Dawn's eyes widened. " English term."

"What are you talking about?" Jess repeated.

"You're just like Angel!"

"Hey! I'm no Angel," Jess said, horrified.

"Not 'an angel' like 'Angel' Just Angel. Her ex," Dawn explained.

"What kind of guy is named Angel?"

"It's a nickname—kinda," Dawn, said.

"Yet, I ask again."

"Oh never mind. What were we talking about? Oh yeah—you—Mr. Poser broody guy!"

"Now I'm a poser!?" Jess asked in disbelief.

"Hey, you said it," Dawn replied, her tone casual.

"I'm not a poser!" Jess said.

"Now are you actually pissed or just acting, poser boy!"

"Are you seriously saying these words?" Jess asked.

"Ya talk big Poser McBrood, but I am so on to you!" Dawn said.

"And you can be such an immature bitch!" Jess said. " And manipulative. And weird! You and your weird ass little fence stakes."

"I don't have a manipulative bone in my body!" Dawn said horrified.

"Oh yeah—speaking of bone," Jess began, before trailing off on purpose.

Dawn was confused. But she took the bait. " What?"

"Bone—as in you not jumping mine!"

"That was so lame," Dawn said, her arms crossed over her chest. " I'm a bitch because I haven't had sex with you?"

"Hey—you said it!" Jess retorted.

Dawn pulled her hand back and slapped him. The force of the hit knocked him off balance and he fell over the railing into a snow pile below.

"Owww!" Dawn held her throbbing hand against hr chest. " That's for being an ass!"

She turned and walked towards the town, wrapping hr coat tighter around herself. She didn't need to take that shit from anyone, least of all Jess. She was young, hot and could have anyone she wanted; besides the night was still young.

* * *

"Buffy! Hey!" Willow called out as she made her way over to Buffy's side.

"Hey Will, drunk are ya?" Buffy laughed.

"Oh, absolutely!" Willow laughed. " And I totally just made out with that girl over there!"

Buffy laughed. " Guess you're over Ashley huh?"

"No, no—but hey—I'm young and single and it's New Years!!! Too bad Xander couldn't be here."

"Why, would you make out with him too?"

Willow shrugged. "Maybe—if I felt like it."

"Interesting," Buffy trailed off. " Have you seen Giles?"

"I would NOT make out with him. Sure, I thought about it in 10th grade, but not now," Willow said, shaking her head back and forth for emphasis.

Buffy was silent. " That was…surreal," Buffy said. Talk about misunderstanding. "Anyway, I said 'see Giles' Will."

"Oh, wow…oops," Willow giggled.

"Don't worry, I just karate chopped a server because he looked at me funny," Buffy told her. She didn't sound particularly concerned about that. " I think there's something in the drinks."

"It's great isn't it?" Willow said.

"I'm not complaining."

There was a loud squeal as a microphone was turned on Buffy and Willow winced. " Ok, now I'm complaining."

"Is that Mr. Giles?" Lorelai asked as she came towards them.

Willow and Buffy just nodded their heads as their eyes were glued on the stage. Giles had put aside his jacket; rolled up his sleeves; undid the top buttons and messed up his hair so it stood up. He had procured a guitar from somewhere and was now holding it as he sat on a stool.

He reminded Buffy of Ripper, who had made an appearance years ago during the band candy escapade. But the mellow tune of ' You look wonderful tonight' by Eric Clapton was what Giles had decided to sing.

"Wow," Lorelai sighed. " I think I just creamed in my pants a little."

"Uh huh," Willow and Buffy said in unison, their voices dreamy.

"Hey Buffy, can I talk to you for a second?" Lorelai asked, without taking her eyes off Giles.

Buffy nodded, her eyes still fixated on Giles as well. " Sure, I'll meet you in you upstairs in a minute."

"Sure," Lorelai said. " Happy New Years Willow."

"Happy New Years," Willow answered.

They were silent for a moment before Buffy blurted out very calmly and matter of fact. " I think Lorelai and I are about to have sex."

"Cool."

"I guess."

"You nervous?" willow asked.

"No. I should be though."

"That's a quandary," Willow said, sounding unconcerned even as she said it.

"Definitely not of the norm," Buffy agreed.

Pause.

"We're under a spell aren't we?"

"Oh yeah."

"Explains a lot."

"Yep."

""Potentially dangerous?"

"I can't see how it can't be."

"It's kinda cool."

"Yep."

"Well…." Willow began.

"See ya," they both said in unison before turning and heading in separate directions.

* * *

"Hey! Willow, wait up!"

Willow turned towards the familiar voice. Ashley ran up to her, her long hair falling around her flushed face. She looked stunning—completely out of breath—but stunning.

"Hey Ash," Willow said, embracing a startled Ashley.

"Well, that was unexpected," Ashley, said. " Weren't you the one who—oh, crap. I'm too late aren't I?" She put her hands on her hips and hung her head, slowly shaking it back and forth. This could mean any number of things.

Willow ran her hands down Ashley's arms, pulling her forward. " Why don't we go talk in private?"

Ashley nodded and followed Willow outside to the porch, where Willow promptly threw himself at Ashley. Ashley pushed Willow off gently. " Well, that answers the question of it being quarantined to just inside the Inn. Smart…I guess."

"What?" Willow asked, trying to reach for Ashley again.

Ashley sighed. " It's what I was trying to tell you before, there's a spell—I'm not sure what it is, but--."

"Judging on myself and some of the others I've seen, I'm guessing it's part Excresia—lowering of inhibitions," Willow stated matter of fact.

Ashley looked taken aback. " You…you are aware of it?"

"Yeah." Willow shrugged. " It's kinda noticeable."

"Well, ok this was easier than I thought," Ashley said, relief evident in her voice. "So let's go back to your place."

"Alright!" Willow agreed, wrapping her arms around Ashley again.

"And get some stuff together and try to reverse this spell," Ashley finished, before Willow could cut her off again.

"Oh." Willow said sounding disappointed. She folded her arms over her chest. She seemed to snap out of it and went towards Ashley again, resting her hands on the curve of Ashley's hips. "I could think of a few more productive things we can do with our time."

Ashley pushed Willow back, using a little more force this time. Willow's eyes narrowed in frustration, a brief flash of rage flickered over her face. Unless Ashley was seeing things, she could have sworn she saw Willow's roots darken to black and her eyes dilate.

"There are better things we can do, Will," Ashley said uneasily. " We can fix this spell—reverse it—before things get completely out of hand."

Willow took a step back, crossing her arms under her chest. " That's going to be a problem, you see, because I like it. It's freedom. I'm free of the pull of right and wrong. Free of judgments and free of acting like I care."

"There's another word for the Will," Ashley warned. " Evil."

Willow laughed. " Don't worry babe, I'm no more evil than the next person. I just want to have fun. I think I've deserved it."

"We don't belong to ourselves," Ashley said. " We fight evil, we help people. We put others before ourselves because we make a difference. We don't belong to ourselves Willow, but that doesn't mean we don't count. You can have fun; you can be free—but not this way. You know this is wrong….I know you Willow."

"You don't know me," Willow said, looking slighted. " You come into my life for couple of weeks and you think you know me? You haven't been there through everything. You know nothing!"

"Ok, look. I'm sorry," Ashley said quickly. "I'll just do it myself. Enjoy your party."

Ashley gave Willow one last glance, playing that somehow the real Willow would snap to the surface. The more terrifying thought was that Willow had really become this person. This angry and bitter person she just hid with a mask. Maybe, Ashley didn't know her at all.

Ashley turned and began down the front steps. Willow took a step forward, shadows falling away from her face. The moonlight caught her face, lighting up her raven hair and black eyes.

Ashley felt the energy wave and began to turn—slowly—as if it were slow motion. She caught the hate in Willow's eyes tinged with desperation to remain the way she was. A wicked smile curled her lips and the next thing Ashley saw was the star filled sky as she flew backwards through the air.

The breath left her body with a loud gasp as her body collided with the ground with such a force that she felt her bones shake. The panic that one experiences when the wind get knocked out of them, began to grow. Ashley closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing.

"Ashley? Ashley!"

Ashley blinked. Once. Twice. As her vision cleared she saw Brooke standing over her. She smiled when she saw that Ashley was still alive.

"Willow?" Ashley croaked.

"Long gone," Brooke said. " She looked pretty freaked out by what she did—which I guess, means she isn't too far gone."

"Not yet anyway," Ashley answered. She hadn't missed the look in Willow's eyes and it still chilled her to think on it.

"Well, I have worse news," Brooke began. Then she paused, a grimace passing over her face. "But first—did you know your left is twisted at an odd angle?"

"Oh really," Ashley replied sarcastically. "That's where the mind numbing pain was coming from!!!! Could you?"

"Oh right! Sorry." Brooke dropped to her knees. " Take a deep breath. 1…2…" There was a loud crack. Ashley gritted her teeth as a scream ripped out of her throat. "I knew you were going to do that!"

"Element of surprise!" Brooke answered—a little too cheerfully for Ashley's liking. She held her hands over Ashley's leg, chanting softly under her breath. A soft white light materialized over Ashley's leg and soon the pain began to leave Ashley's face as her leg began to heal.

When it was over, Brooke helped Ashley to her feet. " Thanks."

"Timing was good," Brooke said, looking nervous. "Another minute or two and I probably wouldn't have stopped to help."

Ashley's face showed her confusion. " What?"

"I was in the Inn when the spell took affect. I was hoping Xander would be here," Brooke said guiltily. " It's taking awhile, but I can feel it coming."

"I'm working on a spell to find out which demon did this so I can correct this. I already have a good idea based on the effects. So come on let's go," Ashley said.

Brooke shook her head. " I …I can't. When this thing hits you know I'll try and stop you. And you know I can do worse than Willow even on her worse, black haired days. Even when it hits, I'll probably come looking for you and you should be as far away from me as possible."

"You're really scary you know that," Ashley said. " But you're right. Try not to do anything apocalyptically stupid, k?"

"Will do my best," Brooke said, with a confident nod.

Ashley began to leave, but turned. " Brooke—I…"

Brooke smiled (there was something wrong about that smile) and then Ashley saw sky again. Luckily, Brooke wasn't as far gone so the impact wasn't as hard. Ashley lay there for a moment. " I really wish people would stop doing that," she muttered to herself.

Buffy checked her cell phone for the second time, just to make sure she was reading it right. The message had come from Lorelai. It was a one-word text. UPSTAIRS. Followed by a room number.

Buffy shot back the rest of her drink and then filled two more. Maybe, this spell wasn't such a gad thing, she thought as she walked upstairs towards Lorelai.

She paused outside the door, waiting to see if those voices would come back urging her not to do this, that it was nothing but a momentary glitch. But the spell had rid her of the voices and the gut instinct that told her that she didn't want it to go this far. She was free. Free to do whatever the hell she wanted as long as it made her feel good.

The door opened and she found herself looking at Lorelai. Lorelai leaned against the door, looking at Buffy expectantly. " You coming in?"

Buffy handed her a glass, before stepping over the threshold—shutting the door behind her.

* * *

Xander pulled into the only available parking spot and turned off the engine. He sat there for a minute, staring straight ahead. He really didn't want to be here. Giles promised him he wasn't being put out to pasture, but Xander had still felt like he was purposely being put out of harm's way. That was, until now, when he looked at the address. He rechecked the paper Giles had given him—yep, this was it.

This building was beyond the definition of shifty. Clearly, no one lived here and he prayed that no one was lurking inside either. If this thing was important as Giles said, he doubted it would be empty. He reached into the glove box and grabbed his stash.

"Stakes," he grumbled. " Cross…holy water…knife…ooh—Twinkies!" When had he left those here? He put the Twinkies back—a treat, if he survived. He got out of the car, hit the car alarm and headed inside.

He went around to the back of the building, finding the door hanging off its hinges. He stepped over the broken wood and found himself in a small lobby. From the looks of it the building seemed to be a factory, turned apartments turned abandoned. And from the look of the place, it had been abandoned for a few years now.

Most of the doors were broken, or splintered. The paint was peeling right off the walls and there were stains all over the place—he'd rather not think on what those stains were—the smell was proof enough. He heard a rustling and looked down just in time to see a large rat ran over his foot.

"Great oogly—moogely!" Xander exclaimed, jumping back. He shivered—repulsed by the biggest rat he had ever seen in his life. He hoped he would find this thing soon, and that only the rat was his company.

He slid the knife from its sheath and held it at his side and he turned into the nearest hallway. Giles hadn't been too specific on what it was; just that he would know when he saw it. It was a weapon.

* * *

The room was lit with white candles of all shapes and sizes placed all around the room. It looked like a scene right out of a movie—Buffy always wondered where they always seemed to find so many candles all of a sudden. Lorelai walked over to a small stereo and hit play. Music filled the air, breaking the silence. " Music, candles—all you need are flowers and you're set," Buffy teased.

Lorelai smiled, pointing over her shoulder to the vase of red long stemmed roses on the bedside table. Buffy walked over to the vase, running her fingers over the soft petals. " Nice touch," she whispered, more to herself than Lorelai.

Lorelai walked up behind her and rested her hands on Buffy's waist, sliding them around and over Buffy's flat belly. Lorelai leaned in, pressing her lips against Buffy's shoulder blade, flicking her tongue over the curve of Buffy's shoulder then gently blowing, creating a multitude of chills to run down Buffy's spine. Buffy's eyelids fluttered closed and her head tipped back as she let the sensations run through her.

Lorelai's hands slid up Buffy's bare arms, applying very little pressure, so that the chills and shivers that ran through Buffy were the only evidence that she was being touched at all. Lorelai's fingers found the zipper on the skirt and pulled it down. She worked the skirt off Buffy's hips and let the garment fall to the ground.

Buffy's eyes met Lorelai's. " I'll pay for this later." She whispered, with a trace of an apology.

"Pay for what?" Lorelai asked in confusion.

Buffy took a breath, gripping the fabric in her hands and with a grunt ripped it open right down the middle. Lorelai gasped at the intensity in Buffy's face and felt the butterflies spiral and coil in the pit of her stomach.

"You're too good for zippers?" Lorelai teased.

"Patience has never been one of my virtues," Buffy replied, placing her hand behind Lorelai's neck to pull her forward.

* * *

As Xander carefully made his way through the garbage-strewn hallway, breathing through his mouth, instead of his nose, he couldn't help but think of Brooke. He blamed his lapse in judgment on the fact that tonight was New Year's Eve and everyone he knew was right now at a party celebrating that fact. Sure, they were most likely in the middle of chaos right now, but they probably still had some fun, danced, sang and had their New Year kiss. He couldn't help but wonder if Brooke had, had a New Years kiss.

He pushed the thought out of his head as he climbed the stairs to the seventh floor. He could hear the movement above him and paused to listen. His heart was racing a mile of minute, as it seemed to jump up into his throat. Suddenly every noise seemed amplified. This was it. He could die here--hell--he probably would die here.

It sounded like a women. He heard a scream that shattered the silence. Without thinking, he felt himself move forward as if on autopilot. He ran the last flight of stairs and ran towards the sound, his heart hammering in his chest as he readied the knife.

He paused just outside the door, where he thought the scream had come from. There was no sound now. Dead silence. He took a step back and with as much force as he could muster, kicked the door in. Well, not in exactly. The door didn't even budge.

"Well, that was anticlimactic," he muttered. The door had barely moved, and his leg felt broken for nothing. It would figure that the only working door was guarding the room that he needed to be in.

"Real manly," Xander muttered, rolling his eyes. "I'll save you! If I can get the damn door open." He gritted his teeth against the pain he knew would come, and kicked again. This time the door splintered enough for him to squeeze through—a good thing he'd been working out.

The room was dimly lit and as he turned the corner he stopped dead in his tracks in surprise. " Well, this was not what I was expecting."

The guy staring back look equally shocked, with a mixture of fear. He was completely naked with only a sheet covering his lower portion.

Xander looked down at the floor, shaking his head. Of all the things he thought he might come up against, this was not one of them. Who the hell got turned on in this dump? The guy was huge and could probably kick Xander's ass—so Xander wasn't about to start threatening the guy. He could be the one guarding this elusive weapon. However, the guy had his defenses down and didn't seem to be armed.

"So the screaming was completely consensual. Right?" Xander asked awkwardly.

"Consensual and a little forced…." Came a female voice just to the left of him, she seemed surprised by the intrusion, but not fearful of the knife that Xander was holding.

"You trying to play hero '00?" she said.

Xander shook his head at the absurdness of it all. He finally turned back to her, a smile spreading across his face. " Just saving damsels in distress—you apparently weren't distressed though were you? You're ok?"

She smiled. " Five by five."

* * *

To Be Continued…. 


	35. Slipping Away

**34**

SLIPPING AWAY

* * *

"You're looking good Xand," Faith said graciously, as she walked around him taking in an eyeful. " Been working out?"

This was Faith, and as sincere as she sounded, he didn't know if he was being set up—if she were silently laughing at him. So he went with a safe modest answer. " Yeah, some." He replied, adding a casual shrug for good measure.

The truth was that once they'd arrived in Europe he had become very dedicated to working out now that people already thought less of his fighting abilities with his disability. It was one thing when they just thought he was "goofy" Xander, because he could try to hide that or prove them wrong. His disability was out there for everyone to see—pardon the pun. So he spent time working out, practicing his skill and was silently thrilled that Faith had noticed.

He eyed her up and down as she had done him and with a smile said. "That's not a bad look for you either."

Faith smiled. She was dressed only in pair of boy shorts that clung to all the right places (a look he found sexier than anything else—those cute little made to look like briefs—underwear) and a bra. She clearly hadn't had much time to dress once Xander had burst in. However, the way she walked around showed she wasn't shy. Besides, both men had seen her in less.

"Ah…I'm guessing you two know each other," naked guy said, having watched their exchange in silence up until now.

"Way to figure it out," Faith muttered. Xander almost laughed out loud at the surprise on Faith's face, as if just remembering her sex partner was still in the room. Xander actually felt bad for the guy—not too long ago, he wore that same expression of confusion. Where was the tough, hot girl that seemed to want him and have him so badly and then seemed to look at him like discarded trash once she'd had hers?

Faith grabbed her jeans and tee from the bed and slid in to them as she grabbed her pack of cigarettes. She threw naked guy's pants towards him. " Thanks, but I'll be leaving town. See ya, Tom."

The guy looked from his pants back to Faith. " My name is Tim."

"Yeah, whatever," Faith said, with a wave of her hand. Xander turned away as the guy got dressed, all the time muttering about what a cold-hearted bitch she was. Which was kind of bizarre, because he most likely brought her here to pull the same stunt. It wasn't like people came to places like this to develop a more meaningful relationship, Xander thought. He was just pissed that Faith had beat him to it.

Though, with all the guys' mutterings of what a bitch she was, Xander had to admire her growth. A couple of years ago Faith would have thrown him out without any explanations or a chance to grab his clothes.

Just then he heard a crash and spun around to see Faith crossing the room, having just thrown the guy out into the hallway. She looked at Xander and shrugged. " He hurt my feelings."

Xander laughed. " Still the same Faith."

"You know me Xand," Faith began, taking a seat on the windowsill. " I'm five by five."

"Right. So I'm guessing you were in on this with Giles?" Xander asked.

Faith flicked an ash onto the floor. " I knew eventually 'the gang' would need reinforcements, Giles just asked me to wait, hold tight and soon someone would come to get me. Can't say I like the whole waiting thing. Never been one to sit by and wait. Gets boring."

Xander looked towards the door. " I can see you find ways to cure the boredom."

"Jealous?" Faith teased.

"Oh the first part was fun," Xander agreed. " Somehow the being pushed aside stays with a guy."

"Not one for goodbyes. I get mine and get gone," Faith said simply. " Guys do it all the time and they're Don Juan, girls do it and they're whores. I like getting wriggly with a guy without the post coital cuddling—what's wrong with that? I'm sick of explaining myself."

Xander grinned, leaning forward as if to tell her a secret. " Then why are you?"

Faith tossed her cigarette out the window. " Not sure," she grinned back. " Let's go."

Faith set the chair back, pulling her feet up to rest on the dashboard as she shifted to find a more comfortable position. As promised she kept her right hand dangled out the window, so her filter tipped friend was outside.

"So it sounds like you guys have already had quite a time. Spike a father; though—wow—what's with all the mystical births, soon stakes won't even kill them. Vampires are starting to change all the rules. Whatever happened to killing them? Now we just end up sleeping with them and having a child that may or may not destroy the world."

"You're preaching to the choir here," Xander said.

"And what about you?" Faith asked.

Xander glanced over at her. "I'm currently not sleeping with the vampires," he answered sarcastically. Faith smiled at the attempt of a subject changed but remained quiet. He didn't know how or what he was supposed to answer. " What do you mean?" He finally asked.

Faith smiled. " Come on, I'm not stupid Xander. These guardian chicks, Ashley and Brooke---there is something going on there. The way your voice went all high when you talked about Brooke."

"My voice did not go high," he said defensively. Of course at that opportune moment his voice cracked as if he were just going through puberty again.

"Ok, fine—there's nothing going on," Faith repeated, mimicking the cracking of the voice for effect.

Xander rolled his eyes, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel. He didn't want to tell her anything. After all, they weren't exactly friends, but he hadn't really had anyone to talk to. He would have to change the subject. " What about Wood?"

"You offering?" Faith teased. " It's been awhile since I back-seated it, but I'm sure I can still bend that way."

Xander felt his face grow hot under Faith's stare and his throat grew dry. He began to stammer. _Real cool, Xander, so much with all that practice he'd done with honing his cool aloof demeanor,_ he thought. "No….I…that's not what." He took a breath. "Robin Wood." He clarified.

Faith laughed, adding to his humiliation. Any trace of cool he had, or thought he had was officially gone…and part of him resented her for making him feel like the 'Old Xander'. "I know what you meant," Faith said reassuringly. " Robin's fine. He went to Cleveland."

"He didn't surprise you?" Xander asked, repeating the promise Robin had made to Faith upon defeating the hell mouth.

It was the first time that Xander made Faith hesitant before issuing one of her standard snap responses. Xander kept glancing over at her, wondering if he should move on, worried that he might have hurt her and surprised that he cared—considering the number of times she'd hurt him. Faith stared straight ahead, but answered. " He surprised me," Faith admitted. " The problem was I didn't surprise myself. I don't think I'm built for all that relationship stuff."

Xander felt touched and slight bemused that Faith had actually opened up, if only for a brief moment to him. "Oh, I don't know," Xander, said, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. " It's not all that bad."

"Right, you seem to be having a world of fun with it," Faith said sarcastically, breaking the amicable level they had seemed to finally reach.

However, sarcastic and flip the remark, it was true Xander though. "You know, I think I liked you better when you were evil and killing people."

* * *

Ashley was neck high in skirts—and not in the wholesome 'I'm a lesbian' way, either. She may have been mega-magically endowed but when it came down to stealth, she was as klutzy as they came. If she was on her higher plane she had all the skill to solve this problem, but in this body she still had to gather all the ingredients and go through all the tedious crap.

And because her stuff was limited after doing the spell for Buffy, she needed Willow's supplies. And since Willow wasn't going to be of any help with her self-obsessed black eyed self—it was up to Ashley to save the day.

Back to the skirts. Somehow, in her supreme klutziness, she had knocked down half of Willow's wardrobe. She cursed loudly as she started pitching skirts over her head. Making a mess was the least of her worries at the moment. Besides, if willow complained (If Ashley could ever reverse the spell) then Ashley would just point out that Willow got grass stains over her favorite shirt—that and the whole breaking her leg in the process, thing. _Sure I could easily put myself together again with magic_, Ashley thought, _but you still don't go around breaking people's limbs all willy nilly_.

"Yat-zee!" Ashley exclaimed to an empty room as her fingertips brushed the stack of books Willow kept there. Willow was okay to do magic, everyone said so and yet she still hid her books as though trying to prove that she wasn't still an invested as before. As if somehow hiding them away would prove to everyone that she wasn't going to lose herself in it again. It made Ashley sad that willow feared it, even after all the good she'd done and the good she was still going to do. Of course explaining that to her in this state probably wasn't going to do any good.

* * *

"So why aren't you at some big Stepford-esque party waiting to bump uglies with your honey?" Faith asked.

Xander rolled his eyes. " Hello to the imagery." Faith had a way of making a space even smaller with only a look.

"So why?" Faith asked again.

"Because I wanted to come get 20 questioned by you," Xander offered sarcastically. He hoped this would put an end to it.

"Yeah right." Faith exhaled slowly, a stream of smoke curling around her lips. She peeked at him out of the corner of her eyes, her mouth curling into a secret smile. " You haven't talked to me since Rome. I doubt you wanted to be stuck in a car with me. You looked surprised to see me in there. I bet you five to one Giles didn't even tell you what you were coming for."

Xander flexed his fingers on the steering wheel again, checking the review and side view mirrors to stall. The mention of Rome had made his mind go back to the time and he found himself trying very hard not to smile. She was right about that of course.

"A weapon." He finally admitted.

"What?"

"He said I was looking for a weapon."

"Well," Faith said, her voice thick with amusement. " I guess that applies."

Xander heard a sound that cut through the silence. It was the sound of jean on leather as Faith moved towards him. His eyes darted to the side to see what she was doing. His throat went dry and he swallowed with difficulty as she turned to face him. She was now an uncomfortably close distance away. Only Faith could make the already small confines of a two door, even smaller. She must have noticed his 'not so subtle' checking and rechecking of the mirrors because she moved up close so her face was just inches from his. " There's no one on the road but us."

"Well, I know that and how do I know? Because I checked my mirrors. I have to be extra careful now that I'm a handicapped driver." He added the last part with a tone of bitterness that had seeped in.

"Hey, it's not like I'm going to jump you right here," Faith said. With a sigh she moved back to her corner of the car and rested her forehead against the icy cool window. " Just calm down, ok? I'm not looking for a repeat. I just got a little bent over your recent forgetting of what happened. But hey, that's cool with me. You wanna forget what happened in Rome, just say the word."

Xander gave her a curt nod, his eyes never leaving the road in front of him. "That's what I want."

* * *

Ashley pulled the pile of books from the closet and sat down in the pile of skirts she had created. She had left every light in the house off as she was in too much of a hurry to get to the book and now everything seemed to cast shadows creating an ominous feel in the silence.

Every once in awhile she would hear people in the street yelling and carrying on—no doubt ones affected by the spell. With a sigh, Ashley returned to the books and began to flip through the pages. She gestured over her shoulder, with a flick of her wrist and the small lamp on the dresser lit, casting a small amount of light over the pages she was trying to read. _Ah, much better_.

After almost an hour of searching she was sure she had found what she was looking for and was so immersed in the reading that she didn't hear anyone moving downstairs. That was until she heard a loud crash followed by some loud cursing and even more crashing. Ashley dropped the book and jumped to her feet. _Great, now there were looters._

Ashley leaned against the doorframe, hiding herself from sight as she peeked into the darkened hallway. They hadn't moved upstairs yet, but she figured it wouldn't be long. She held up her right hand palm up, with her fingers slightly curled as though cupping something. She wiggled her fingers and a crackling sound filled the air as streaks of blue and white electricity filled her palm. _Nothing like a little shock to send looters on their way._

Taking a breath, she scanned the hallway once more, before rounding the corner and stepping out into it. Her heart was racing, not so much from fear, but from discovery. There was no way of knowing if those affected by the spell would remember everything, and if she showed her powers they would know. She could adjust their memory, but who knows how fast word would spread before that happened. That, and she really didn't want to hurt anyone.

She crept down the stairs, treading as softly as possible. It was an old house and it had its creaks. She crept further and further down the stairs, scanning the darkness for a shape or shadow. When she hit the last stair, she felt like a brick wall had come up too fast and knocked the breath out of her for the third time that night.

She hit the ground hard, pain shooting up her elbow and the base of her skull where she'd hit it on the wall.

The electric ball went flying and must have hit its target as she heard a surprised scream of a woman, before another crush. Whatever giant had hit her, was still straddling her, holding her arms by her side.

"You try that again and I'll break your arms. First the left, then the right and then I'll carry onto your legs." The giant said. Ashley's eyes widened in surprise as she realized her giant was a woman…not much bigger than her.

"Gotcha. Want to keep my arms," Ashley said, in an almost comically casual voice.

"Faith back down," came Xander's voice from behind her.

"She just electrocuted you," Faith reminded him.

Xander was still rubbing his arm, clearly the pain on his face showed that he still remembered that fact. " That's Ashley."

Faith looked back down, shrugged and then got to her feet pulling Ashley up with her. Ashley rubbed the sore spot on the back of her head. " I hit you?" she asked Xander.

"Yeah, no worries, comes with the territory."

"I thought I hit a women," Ashley continued.

Faith laughed. " You do kinda scream like a girl Harris."

"Great, let's make fun of the third degree burn patient here," Xander replied sarcastically.

Ashley walked forward reaching for Xander's arm; she looked him in the eye as though asking permission. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, allowing Ashley to help him without touching the burn. He gritted his teeth as the fabric brushed the mark causing a surprising amount of pain.

"Wow, you have been working out!" Faith exclaimed, looking over Xander's bare chest.

Xander blushed, but luckily it was too dark to notice. Ashley peeked up at him from under her eyelashes and felt a smile tug at her lips.

She could smell burning flesh and felt her stomach do a little roll. She held up her hand like it hover an inch over his injury. She closed her eyes and pictured the white healing light floating through and out of her. She didn't need to open her eyes to know that the light was flooding out of her hand and over his burnt flesh. She could see the orange radiating against her eyelids and feel the soothing warmth against her skin.

She and Brooke were both blessed with healing powers, which allowed them to heal fast. In the instance with her broken leg earlier, she had need Brooke's extra strength to speed the process along.

Opening this healing connection allowed the other to feel the extent of their pain so they knew how much healing had to be done. And that worked with all things, how Ashley knew Buffy's pain and her thoughts as well as Willow's. There was a little bit of empathy demon in them,

Ashley felt the pain subside and opened her eyes to examine her work. The injury was completely gone. Ashley waited a couple of extra seconds to finish ridding him of the pain, before lifting her hand away. Xander looked down at his arm, which was as good as normal. " Wow. Thanks."

"Very handy light show," Faith muttered. " Could we?"

Xander and Ashley gave each other a look, and followed Faith into the living room. " So why are all the lights off?" Xander asked as he flipped on the lights.

"And if you don't live here, why are you snooping around in said dark?" Faith asked.

"Well…I…"

"Oh," Xander began. " Is Willow up there? Were you?"

"You and Willow huh?" Faith said giving her a once over. " Way to go Red."

Ashley blushed turning back to Xander, where she didn't feel like she was being mentally undressed by the forward chick in the leather. " Willow isn't here. None of them are here. It's just me. I came by to look in Willow's books. There's been a problem."

"I know this kind of moment seems to warrant a "Da da dum.." kinda moment, but I just don't have the energy," Xander said. " And way too much experience."

""In translation we're not surprised." Faith replied.

_Now, it's 'we'_, Ashley thought. She smiled sardonically at Faith. " I haven't been around the mortal coil for awhile, being a Guardian and all…but I'm not an idiot."

Instead of looking pissed, Faith only seemed impressed by her quip and smiled. "There was a spell at the Inn. From what I can tell only those in the Inn at the time were affected. It is an Expresia oriented spell, which funny enough Willow helped me with, and it's a lowering of inhibitions. So pretty much whatever they feel like doing, they do—which really runs the gamut of things. Some, not so pretty. Some, downright scary." Ashley explained.

"So I am guessing all the gang are reeling from the effects?" Xander asked.

"Yeah. Sorry. I tried to warn Willow before it happened. I felt the energy in the air, that something was coming fast, but she wouldn't listen to me. "

"You said Willow helped you though?" Faith said. " Just now you said she told you about this laxative thing."

"Excresia." Ashley pointed out.

"Sounds like a form of laxative to me," Faith said airily, falling back into the old armchair.

"Well in a way if you think about it. It is a form of laxative. I mean all that shi--." Xander laughed and then paused quickly, thinking it over. " On second thought let's not think of it."

Faith and Ashley both nodded their heads in agreement. " She did help me. After the spell had been cast." Ashley was met with confused looks and explained. "That's the thing—actual it's genius in a way—because the 'gang' are aware that there is a spell. And the others that don't know about spells and magic, still seem to know that something is off."

"So why can't we, I don't know, reason with them," Faith said. " Didn't do me any good but I hear it works."

"That's the thing," Ashley continued. " When they don't have to worry about right and wrong, judgment or their conscience they have the ultimate high. Complete freedom. Even knowing it's a spell that could harm people doesn't matter to them. It's power. It's intoxicating and they don't want it to end. And they'll go to any measure to keep it. The other thing is that it's getting worse as time goes on. Soon it will be chaos."

"That's quite a pickle," Xander said, sinking down into the armchair, holding his head in his hands.

"There is good news," Ashley said.

"You know, you should really put that part at the beginning," Faith said.

Ashley shrugged. " I like drama, what can I say? Anyway I've been looking in these books and the most likely demon is a Tyhgon demon. He preys on the conciseness of his victims and the pain they inflict. He gains powers as they lose their souls. He's not usually a power player so he must be working for whatever this big evil is. He is also big into vessels and old school magic. So there is most likely a talisman type thing attached to the magic."

"There's always a talisman," Xander muttered.

"This time it comes in the form of urn. An Excresia Urn. It will have had to be placed at the scene just before the spell could take effect. Knowing his dramatic irony, he probably used the stroke of midnight to set it off. New Years is the time for a fresh start. It's just like him."

"What will this Urn look like?' Xander asked.

"Probably unremarkable as to not draw attention to it," Ashley supplied. "It shouldn't be hard. But as they loose their inhibitions, they lose their souls. When this happens he will be able to control them. It won't even be about their needs anymore. And he will use them to stop you."

"So we might end up hurting people," Xander said. " Or die trying."

"So come on, let's get some weapons," Faith said, jumping to her feet.

Xander gave her a look and Faith rolled her eyes. " Not to hurt people, to end the spell Harris. Give me some credit here."

Ashley frowned. " Listen, Willow is already pretty far gone."

Xander paled. " She isn't by any chance feeling veiny is she?"

Ashley nodded sadly. " That was evil before Xander, it won't get as bad as that, but--."

"I can help her," Xander said with conviction. " Don't worry about her."

"From what I heard Xander, you can't do this alone," Faith said.

"I can handle Willow. I just need to talk her down."

He grabbed some weapons as Ashley called out for him to break the Urn as she ran to catch up. " I don't think words will do it," Faith said as she grabbed a crossbow.

Xander threw open the door and stepped into the street. " Clearly you haven't heard the crayon story."

* * *

"Hey Dawn!" Jenn called, waving her hand over her head as she jogged to catch up with her quick moving friend.

Dawn barely paused as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and cast a look behind her. " Oh hey."

" 'Oh hey?'" Jenn repeated, her eyebrow arched. " What's going on, and where are you going all dressed up?"

Dawn shrugged. " Who knows? Anywhere I want, I guess. I'm free to do whatever, whoever."

"Whatever, whoever? When did you start using the trampy syllables?" Jenn laughed. She was practically jogging to keep up.

"I broke up with Jess," Dawn said as casually as if she were explaining the weather. " Or at least I punched him out…either way, I think he'll get the hint."

_Dawn had broken up with Jess. That was surprising. Dawn was practically a giggling bundle of nerves when it came to Jess, Jenn had had to hid the rolling eyes millions of times while Dawn went on and on about how perfect Jess was. And now they were broken up and Dawn was fine with it? _Something about this just wasn't right.

"Hey, do you need to grab a coffee or something?" Jenn said, trying again. " I got the car we could take a drive down to Starbucks. It's a long drive for coffee, but that's never stopped us before, right?"

Dawn shook her head. " Not right now. I have things to do."

"Like what?" Jenn asked. When Dawn didn't answer, Jenn reached out and grabbed her arm pulling her to a stop. " Dawn, please! What's up? Whatever you want to do just let me tag along ok? You're in like, shock or something."

Dawn finally came to a stop and turned to face Jenn. She smiled, brushing her hair out of her face. " It's not shock Jenn. It's a spell or something. I can feel it. It's kinda tingly."

Jenn's eyes widened in surprise. " A spell? Did you just say a spell? Did the boogey man get you too? What is this all about?"

Dawn frowned. " It's a spell. Listen, you don't have to believe me, that's fine. Ignorance is bliss right? I'm going to find some guys, have some fun. You in or out?"

"Find some guys?" Jenn said suspiciously. " Too bad we don't have any docks, it would make it much simpler for you."

Dawn just shrugged and continued on, walking faster than before. Jenn sighed and then ran after Dawn. " Fine ok! We'll find some guys and party or something."

Something ahead of her caught Dawn's attention and she smiled. "Bull's-eye."

Dean closed the door of Dosey's market behind him, his arms full of candy, drinks and other things he'd managed to grab. The alarm had already been triggered and in moments the poor excuse for police would show up along with a frantic Taylor. Part of Dean wanted to be around just to see the show, but that would be inconvenient, so he started towards the gazebo.

Rory had decided to return back to her house, rather than come for a late night snack with him and he would be lying if he said it didn't piss him off. It was just like her to take off with her secrecy, like how she had thrown him clear across a room. He wasn't an idiot, he'd fallen before—many times—and that wasn't a simple fall.

_Who cares_, he thought, _I can find something better to do. It would serve her right if he hooked up with someone else—make her crazy for awhile seeing what she had to lose._

He turned right, heading up the street when he saw Dawn coming towards him in a hurry. He smiled to himself, as he walked towards her. _Want to make a girl jealous, _he thought, _start with her best friend._

Jenn caught the look on Dawn's face and followed her gaze, the smile freezing on her face. "Oh no, no, no, no Dawn, no way!"

Dawn shook off Jenn's grasp and walked forward. "That is your friend's boyfriend. I don't know what you're trying to prove to yourself or Jess, but this is just heading into dangerous territory."

"Danger," Dawn repeated without pausing. " Oh no." She said keeping her voice calm and emotion free.

"Rory would be devastated." Jenn said, trying to appeal to her good-natured side—wherever that had disappeared to.

"Rory's not here," Dawn replied.

Dean was growing closer. Forgoing any amount of small talk or any talk whatsoever, Dawn pushed the bag from Dean's hands, threw her arms around his neck, raised herself up on the tip of her toes and planted a kiss on his lips. Even on her tiptoes, Dean was surprisingly tall, and she still would have missed. But realizing that a kiss was coming, Dean had wrapped her arms around her waist and lifted her slightly so that their lips meant.

Dawn heard Jenn gasp behind her, but then the sound of the blood rushing through her head drowned out all other sounds. Dean lifted Dawn and she wrapped her legs around his waist as though they were two lovers who had just been reunited after years apart.

Dean backpedaled them, until Dawn felt the brick wall against her back trapping her between that and the solid wall of his chest. Dawn gasped as she hit the wall but it only spurred her on and she kissed him in a way that would have embarrassed her on a normal day. But today had hardly been a normal day.

Dean ran his hands up her sides, burying them in her hair, tugging slightly just to hear the small sighs that came from low in her throat when he did so.

Jenn crossed her arms over her chest and looked around the darkened street. They were about to cross the boundary of decency any moment, and Jenn knew they were about to make her blush.

"Uh, guys?" Jenn pleaded. _This was insane_.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Jenn's head snapped up and her face froze in horror at who had just arrived. Rory Gilmore.

The pair broke apart breathless. This was the perfect moment to look embarrassed and yet they didn't. Dawn even look surprisingly thrilled but disappointed that they had been stopped. Rory's face was red in anger.

"Oh, hey," Dean said, his arm still wrapped protectively around Dawn's waist.

_Good one-man,_ Jenn thought, shaking her head.

"Oh hey?" Rory repeated. " What the hell were you doing?"

"Was that not obvious?" Dean asked, gesturing at Dawn, who was looking down at her nails, making a show of examining them.

"You were making out with someone else?" Rory said, still in disbelief. "And not only with someone else but with my friend!"

"Looks like," Dean said. " Jealous?"

"More like pissed off," Rory answered.

Dean shrugged. " Hey, you were the one who made me a gimp," he said holding up his arm. " I should be pissed off."

"So what, that was payback?" Rory asked.

"No," Dean said with a smile. " That was fun. This is pay back." He let go of Dawn, pushing her slightly backwards.

Before Jenn could say a word, Dean had grabbed her and bent her backwards, planting a kiss on her mouth. Jenn tried to say something, but his mouth, which was surprisingly soft, muffled her words. Jenn felt her heart race in her chest as his lips moved over hers, while she could barely function enough to stop him or kiss him back.

Before she could think, Dean had pulled her upright and stood back to face Rory. Jenn swayed, reaching out for the wall to steady herself as she touched her lips with the tips of her fingers.

Rory was looking even angrier instead of hurt. Except, Jenn realized with surprise, her angry eyes were focused on her not Dean.

"You bitch!" Rory screamed, coming at Jenn with her fist raised.

"What? Me?" Jenn said, walking backwards quickly. " She kissed him first and way more sluttier than me! I mean, really, you saw it!"

"Hey!" Dawn stated.

"Sorry." Jenn said, before turning her gaze back to Rory. " Look, you really don't want to fight me. It's never a good idea to back me into a corner."

"You kissed my boyfriend." Rory stated, ignoring the warning completely.

"I would need a step ladder to kiss him on my own!" Jenn said defensively. " Besides I don't want to go all school yard on you, but he kissed me first!"

Rory was still coming closer and Jenn knew that she was going to have to do something. Rory was acting irrationally and with the unmistakable look of rage in her eyes, Jenn knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

"You asked for it," Jenn muttered under her breath. She held her hands down by her sides, palms facing towards Rory. She looked down and then when she looked up her eyes had gone completely white, as though the color had been erased from her eyes. Her hair began to fly around her face, her lips moving a mile a minute as she silently spoke.

A fierce wind built up, seeming to come from Jenn, tossing the three of them to the ground. Rory screamed as she flew backwards smashing into a bench about 20 feet behind her with a loud crack. She fell onto the ground and rolled onto her back, her head lolling to the side.

Dean and Dawn (Rory having got the brunt of it) were simply lying on the ground, their expressions shocked. Jenn's eyes returned to normal as she surveyed the damage around her. She didn't want it to come to that, but she wouldn't have some crazy chick coming at her like that.

Turning she started back towards her home. Dawn brushed the debris off her dress and looked around for Jenn. Dean had crawled over to Rory and was now cradling her in his lap, repeating how sorry he was over and over again.

Dawn ran after Jenn, grabbing onto her shoulder to stop her. "Did you do that?"

Dawn's face was flushed and her eyes were questioning as she stared back at Jenn, looking at her as if she didn't even know who Jenn was. Which, Jenn thought, was pretty much the case. " I would just forget what you saw Dawn. Go home. Get into bed. And wait, for whatever this is, to disappear."

Jenn tried to turn to leave, but Dawn hold tight wanting answers to her questions and she wasn't afraid to push if it came to that. " Jenn! What the hell are you?"

Jenn was hurt. "I'm Jenn," she said stating the obvious. "Your friend. Now go home."

"Jenn, I'm sorry. Just wait," Dawn said, running to stand in front of her so that she couldn't move.

Jenn rolled her eyes. " Go home Dawn." With that, Jenn snapped her fingers and disappeared. Dawn's mouth dropped over as she stared at the spot Jenn had been standing seconds ago.

"Dawn?" came a voice.

Dawn spun around and found Dean running up behind her, holding the left side of his face. "What the hell happened to you?" Dawn asked.

Dean took his head away and Dawn spotted the large lump that was already beginning to swell on his temple. " Rory hit me and ran off. She said she was going to slay vampires. I think she's concussed or something."

Dawn rolled her eyes. " She's not nuts, she's under a spell. So are you, so am I."

"A spell?" Dean asked. " Did you hit your head too?"

Dawn sighed. This was a lot harder than she thought. And she knew that she wasn't supposed to have said as much as she had. But again, the voices that told her to keep the secret were gone and she didn't care enough to keep it to herself. Everyone had been able to live in ignorance for too long while she had to deal with evil and monsters.

" Never mind. If she's gone after vampires she's going to get herself killed."

That thought hung between them in the silence of the night. Dawn bit her bottom lip in thought and she shifted from one foot to the other. Dean looked out of place too, running his hands through his hair as he smiled at her each time she peeked up at him.

"So... ?" Dean began.

"You wanna go make out or something?" Dawn asked, shrugging her shoulders when no other plan came to mind.

"Yeah, ok." Dean replied.

* * *

Kate slipped from the bed and walked barefoot over to the dresser. She pulled her robe off the top shelf and slipped it around her naked body. Luke groaned in his sleep and flipped onto his back. Kate surveyed the damage done to her bedroom. After their tryst in the diner, they had finally managed to stumble over to her loft for several more trysts that had left them both numb and too tired to even participate in their post coital cuddle.

Not that cuddling was exactly what she had had in mind anyway. She had wanted to distance herself from all that and she had succeeded.

"Where are you going?" came a tired voice from the bed.

Kate turned and smiled at her lover. " Nowhere. I live here, remember?"

Luke smiled. " I see you got the feeling back in your legs."

Kate smiled. " Yes, surprise, surprise."

Luke patted the space next to him and smiled at her seductively. "Want to see if we can't undo all that?"

"Well," Kate began as her tone became serious. She slowly started back towards the foot of the bed feigning shyness. " That would sort of get in the way of you leaving wouldn't it?"

Luke's smile stayed frozen on his face, even as his eyes narrowed in confusion. Her tone had been so secretive, so sweet that he had to repeat her words in his head until he realized their meaning. Keeping it light, figuring he'd heard wrong, he responded. " You want me to leave?"

Kate nodded, her smile fading away until a stony expression remained. " That's what I said."

"I'm confused," Luke said.

"Really, and I thought I had made it so simple," Kate replied. "I'll try again. Go away. Get lost. Bugger off."

Luke sat up, reaching for his pants. " You're seriously doing this aren't you?"

" I asked nicely the first time," Kate said in her defense. " I don't see the problem, I mean you got what you wanted didn't you? I'm simply letting you off easy."

Luke slipped his pants on. She thought he wanted out of this? Now it made sense. He walked over to her, taking her hands in his own. " I don't want out of this Kate."

Kate smiled and Luke felt himself smiling back. Then Kate stared him straight in the eyes and kept her tone cool. " I do."

She stepped back, slipping her hands out of his and turned for the door. She opened it and held it for him. " Please leave."

"Kate. I t..t..thought you..."

Kate laughed. She laughed until her voice hit an almost manic pitch as she took pleasure in his discomfort. " Y..y..you thought what?" she asked, mimicking him. " That this was love? That I loved you? Been there, done that Luke. It never works out well. Especially now with everything."

"What happened to you?" Luke asked. " You've never been so cruel."

"Cruel?" Kate repeated. " You don't even know me. You don't even know how cruel I can be. The old Kate's gone, this is a brand new me. I've been going through some changes. Changes that don't include you."

Luke grabbed his shirt, slipping his arms into the sleeves, each motion more violent than the next. "Fine, you want to be alone, be alone!"

Kate smiled. She ran her hands over her belly and smiled up at him. "Oh, I'm not alone."

Luke looked down at her stomach and then back up to her. " But we only...once...before...I..."

"I never said it was yours," Kate answered.

Luke shook his head in confusion. How had things gone so wrong, so fast? He grabbed his coat and without looking back walked through the door.

Kate shut the door behind him. She stretched her arms over her head, stretching her muscles—arching her back like a cat. "Well that was fun," she said out loud as she walked over to her dresser. She parted her robe and sprayed herself with perfume, shivering as the cold mist hit her heated skin. "Time to go see daddy."

* * *

Rory turned into the park, stepping through the trees and into the clearing just beyond it. She hadn't met any vampires yet and was starting to feel hopeless. She had this anger in her and she wanted to unleash it on something. She wanted to kill something with her bare hands—a feeling so completely surreal to her that it scared her and yet felt so right. She didn't quite understand what was happening to her, but she couldn't deny the feeling it gave her. The feeling of power.

After changing out of her heels and into a pair of running shoes she'd set out on her mission. The little meeting with Dean, Jenn and Dawn had distracted her, but only momentarily, and now she was back on track. And the meeting had created even more anger. How dare Dean kiss other girls? It wasn't fair, it wasn't right.

Rory heard the snap of a twig behind her and felt every muscle in her body tense as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She felt the energy of someone behind her before she heard a voice; her entire body was on alert.

"What's a little girl doing out at night by herself?" came the voice from behind her.

Rory turned. " Do you guys really say those corny lines? Wouldn't attacking me and killing me by surprise be more efficient?"

The vampire actually seemed to pause and consider this. "Do I criticize your job?"

Rory smiled. " So let's get to this," she said. " Shouldn't take long." She rolled her neck, snapped her fingers and got into a fighter's stance, which was slightly comedic looking.

"With the slayer in town you think I came alone?" the vampire laughed. With that, four more vampires came out from the trees and stood side by side.

Rory's eyes widened in surprise. " Well this can't be good."

The first vampire charged at her, but she ducked, bringing her fist up under his chin knocking his head back with a loud crack. She sprang to her feet and ran for one of the nearby trees. She grabbed onto a large branch and pulled hard, breaking it off.

The first vampire came towards her again, having given the others orders to hold off. Apparently he wanted her for himself. Rory did a somersault as he lunged at her, and came up behind him pushing the limb straight through his back and into his heart. He exploded into dust with a soft popping sound.

Rory turned back to the others, her heart racing with adrenaline. God, this felt good. " You might want to rethink this boys."

The vampires had other feelings and came at her, deciding that the one on one approach may be more fair but wasn't very convenient. Rory dodged the first attack, throwing him into the next vampire and then staking the one creeping up from behind her.

She had dusted two of them now, but they were starting to guess her next moves and deflected them easily, throwing her off balance. The fear that she had kept at bay was starting to overwhelm her and she found herself full of doubt.

She managed to stake one more, amazingly by accident, before a blow to the head knocked her down onto the ground. Pain coursed through her body as her head came in contact with the ground for the second time that night.

Her vision was blurred around the edges as she fought the bile that rose in the back of her throat. She saw the fuzzy outlines of the remaining vamps, standing around her. She gripped the damp ground in her head and tried to pull herself forward but that just made her stomach roll with nausea again and she lay still, hoping that it would be quick. If she was going to die she didn't want to feel pain, or suffering...she had never prayed before, but she prayed now, that it would just be quick.

Thoughts of Dean, her mother, Lane, Sookie and everyone else she'd come to love started floating through her mind's eye like cruel taughts of what she'd leave behind.

The power she had felt was ebbing out of her now as the cold snow began to seep through her clothing bringing her back to her tragic reality. She was going to die and she would never see these people again. The panic began to rise in her as tears formed behind her closed lids—all she wanted was her mother. Curling into a fetal position, she prayed for life.

She heard a loud snap and then some grunts and groans but was unable to make out what was happening. She felt like she was hanging onto the edge of consciousness.

Just when she thought she was going to succumb to the darkness, she felt her body tip and watched the ground getting farther and farther away as she seemed to float off the ground.

Just when she thought she had died and truly gone to heaven, her vision began to clear and she found herself looking into the lightest eyes she had ever seen. On first glance they looked blue but as she looked into them they appeared to be grey. His chest felt like a solid wall as he held her close, carrying her away from the piles of dust that had surrounded her body.

He didn't speak, or look at her as he walked. She couldn't feel the bumps as he walked the rocky terrain as though he was floating slightly above it. Her arms had gone around her neck and she was afraid to speak or move in case it broke the silence and made him disappear.

She peeked up him though, catching the features that the light of the moon had lit up. His slightly tanned face looked like it had been gently chiseled out of marble; his eyes were light and rimmed with long, thick eyelashes; his lips were full (but not too full); his hair was slightly longer at the temples giving him a slightly disheveled, bed-head look and was raven colored. The contrast between the dark hair and light eyes were startling almost feminine. The chiseled cheekbones and strong jaw line erased any trace of that feminity however. His shoulders were wide and his arms strong as he held her tightly.

From the distance to the ground she would guess his height at over 6 feet. He was simply too good looking to be true, and yet she had never felt so safe and terrified at the same time. The way he had saved her life made her feel safe, and yet there was something about the indifferent look on his face that worried her. For all she knew he had saved her only to kill her himself.

She began to stir then, driven by something inside of her that realized she had almost died back there. She swung her fists at his chest and it felt like hitting rock. She cried out in pain but to her surprise he set her down.

"Who the hell are you?" she demanded. The ground felt unsteady under her feet and she silently wished she'd remained off them and in his arms.

He remained silent, but looked around them. Clearly he didn't want to be seen. He turned to look at her then and the look he gave her sent chills down her back. "I'm sorry."

She paused. Did he just apologize? He didn't even sound sincere it was as though he just put a couple of words together to form a sentence with absolutely no meaning behind them at all.

She crossed her arm defensively trying to appear confident when really it was to stop her hands from shaking. " For what?"

He looked around them once more and then back at her. " For this."

Rory saw a brief flash of his fist coming towards her head and then everything went dark.

The stranger swept her back up in his arms before her body even had a chance to hit the ground. He knew she would have a hell of a headache tomorrow after the knocks she had taken tonight.

He shifted her weight, carrying her easily as if she weighed nothing, and headed towards her house.

* * *

To Be Continued… 


	36. Damage

**35**

DAMAGE

* * *

Spike was dreaming.

He was laying in bed his eyes watching the dark figure that had just crept into his room. As the figure stepped closer and into the light he realized that he was staring at Kate.

She smiled at him, playing with the tie of her black robe. He was unable to say anything or move as the fog of sleep wrapped him in its warmth. He was afraid that movement or talking of any kind would wake him and he highly doubted this was a dream he wanted to wake from.

The smile remained on her face and she put her knee on the end of the bed, a full glimpse of thigh visible to his eye. She put her palms on the bed and began to crawl towards him until she was hovering right above him.

Still he remained unmoving as she dipped her head and caught his bottom lips between her teeth. Spike sucked in unnecessary breath as she tugged playfully but with a little more force than he was expecting. That sharp pain, made him realize that he wasn't dreaming after all. He was wide-awake.

And Kate was in his bed.

"You left the party early," he said quietly. Now that he was sure he was awake he figured he might say something.

"I wanted my New Years kiss," she answered simply.

"What about that prancing Nancy?" Spike asked bitterly. " He didn't give you a proper snog."

"He's a nice guy," Kate said, dipping her head again to press her lips against his. She let out her breath softly tickling his lips as her warm, strawberry scented, breath filled his senses. "But he's never given me a proper anything. I like a little danger in my man."

Spike closed his eyes, feeling himself grow hard at her words and the sensations she was creating as she ran her fingertips over his shoulders and up his neck.

"What changed your mind luv?" He silently kicked himself for questioning her. Part of him wanted answers and the other part just wanted to have his way with her right here, no questions asked.

"A girl is allowed isn't she?" Kate asked again, planting several soft kisses along the line of his jaw.

Spike let his head fall to the side as she kissed her way along his jaw line and down his neck. She sat back and took the tie of the robe between her hands and pulled it free. She had Spike's full attention as she took his hand and held it up against her chest.

Spike took over and pushed his hands inside her robe, and then slid it down the sides of her arms revealing a very naked Kate underneath. Spike took his time taking in the sight of her. She looked barely unchanged from the last time he saw her. Her hips looked a little curvier and her once flat stomach was slightly rounder now only adding to her curves. Spike rested his hands on her hips as he pulled himself up.

Their lips met in a kiss.

His lips hardened under hers, using his tongue to part her lips as he delved inside, tasting every part of her. Kate sighed as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing against him and whispered. "Now give me some of that vampire stamina I remember."

Spike smiled and then flipped her onto her back causing her to giggle as she fell back into the pillows. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her. She was going to take what she wanted; it would be such a waste to kill him beforehand.

* * *

Jess pulled his jacket tighter around him as he dug his hands into his pocket, trying to shield himself from the cold. He had woken up about fifteen minutes ago, unsure of how long he had been out. He remembered that Dawn had hit him and at the time he had been so angry he wouldn't have been surprised if he hit her back, but the longer he walked the more her actions caused a thrill.

She was crazy and angry and she was his. He had said some harsh things, but so had she. The make up sex would be the best ever—if they actually had sex.

The street was pretty much cleared by now, except for the pair making out in the corner of the buildings. Just looking at the pair made Jess walk a little faster. He wanted to find Dawn and make up.

As he drew closer, the light from the lamppost allowed him to see the pair a little better, and with a surprise he realized that the girl was Dawn.

"Hey!" He shouted, as he grabbed the guy by the collar and pulled him off. The guy cried out in surprise as he fell backwards onto the pavement.

"Brian Gallagher?" Jess shouted at Dawn. " The guy is an ape."

Dawn smiled. " But a surprisingly good kisser."

"What the hell are you doing?" Jess asked.

"Ah, I was making out with Brian," Dawn said. " Was that not clear?"

"Why?"

"Cause I felt like it," Dawn said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Why are you jealous, it's not like we're together anymore."

"What? Why? Cause you hit me?" Jess said. " Cause I should be the one breaking up with you."

Dawn shrugged again. " Fine. Break up with me then."

"What so you can go around kissing any guy that walks your way?"

"Hey I'm having fun. Being a teenager and all that! I'm sick and tired of being the good girl. This is what I feel like, so that's what I am going to do, and you can't tell me to stop!"

"You're not being a teenager you're being a whore."

Dawn moved to slap him, but Jess was guessing that was where she was going and grabbed her arm mid slap. He stared at her for a moment and then holding onto her arm he pulled her forward and wrapped his free arm around her waist.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded.

"Being a teenager," he said. And then he kissed her.

Dawn struggled against him, trying to push him off her, but her struggles got weaker and weaker until she wrapped her arms around him and held onto him tightly.

Jess smiled as she became complacent against him and held her tighter.

"Dawn!"

Dawn broke away from Jess breathless and turned towards the voice that had rudely interrupted her.

Dawn couldn't have been more surprised to find Brooke standing a few feet away, a look of apprehension on her face.

"Brooke? What do you want?" Dawn asked.

"I need to tell you something," Brooke answered.

Jess put his arm around Dawn's shoulder. "Could this possibly wait?"

Brooke waved her arm and Jess went flying into the opposite wall, hitting it with a loud thump as he slid down onto the pavement. Dawn's mouth dropped open in surprise. " You just knocked out my boyfriend! We just made up, now he's going to be all pissed again," Dawn complained, rushing over to Jess' side.

Brooke signed impatiently as she walked over to Dawn and pulled her to her feet, leading her to a bench a few feet away. Dawn struggled in protest, but Brooke had an iron grip on her and it felt like she could pull Dawn's arm out of the socket if she resisted.

"Sit." Brooke commanded, pushing Dawn into a sitting position before Dawn could oblige.

"Fine, I'm sitting!" Dawn said. " What is your problem?"

"I need to talk to you, and it's not easy and I don't have a lot of time. So just shut up and listen. Please."

Dawn remained silent but just nodded her head, staring at Brooke with wide eyes.

"Ok, there's something you should know and it's going to be really confusing at first, but you just have to trust me. I know you barely know me...I," Brooke paused. She wasn't supposed to tell Dawn that she was her mother. It was against the plan, it would only hurt, but this spell was taking away her inhibitions and all she wanted was to call her daughter, her daughter.

Why should she have to live the lie herself? It wasn't fair. All she wanted to do was just share this with someone.

"What is it?" Dawn asked, now curious.

"You're—"

"Brooke no!" came a voice.

Brooke and Dawn looked to the right and saw Ashley, Faith and Xander hurrying towards them.

"OH great," Brooke sighed. She waved her hand again and all three of them went flying in separate directions. She turned back to Dawn. "We should go somewhere and then I can tell you."

Dawn looked over at Xander laying a few feet from her and then at Jess. " I don't think that's a good idea." She got up and began to walk towards Jess, but Brooke put up a wall and Dawn was trapped.

Faith groaned as she slowly got to her feet, helping Xander to his. "So that's the ex huh? Nice girl," she said sarcastically as she brushed the snow off her pants.

"She's a keeper," Xander grunted.

"Brooke, stop! You know this isn't right," Ashley said, moving towards her.

Brooke raised her arm again. Ashley cursed under her breath but raised her arms and sent Brooke flying through the air and straight into the lamppost that dented under the weight.

Brooke fell to a heap on the ground, unconscious. "Oopsie," Ashley grinned sheepishly.

Ashley rushed over to her side and checked her pulse. She hadn't meant to hit her that hard. Her pulse was steady.

Xander came up behind Ashley and looked down at the unconscious form of his ex and then bent down to scoop her into his arms. " We have to get her somewhere safe and then head for the Inn."

Faith put her hands on her hips as she surveyed the two unconscious people. " As much as I've seen—this town is going to pot. I don't know if the damage can even be undone at this point."

"We have to try," Xander said. " People are in serious danger here."

Faith rolled her eyes as she took in Dawn's appearance. "Hey chicky. You look all grown up."

"And you look less psychotic this time around," Dawn answered back calmly.

"You have a bad year and you don't hear the end of it," Faith shot back.

Dawn had a retort for that but decided to leave it alone. "What are you going to the Inn for?"

Xander went to tell her, but Ashley put a hand on his arm, warning him to stop. Telling someone under the spell that they were going to reverse it hadn't worked out well, and even though Dawn had no powers to speak of, it still wasn't a good idea.

"I want to say hi to Buffy," Faith said.

Dawn looked at her, suspicion in her eyes. "You? Want to say hi to Buffy?"

Faith shrugged. " Sure. Wouldn't mind seeing how B is doing."

Dawn frowned. " I don't believe you—"

Dawn turned to question Xander, but Faith had brought her hand up and with a karate chop style hit Dawn with enough force on a pressure point to make her knees buckle under. Faith caught her before she hit the ground and gently laid her down.

"Faith!?!?!" Xander shouted.

"Hey! Little sis was about to start figuring things out. Now we don't have to worry about it. All she will have is a little headache tomorrow no big deal."

"No, except that we now have three unconscious people to somehow get home."

Faith frowned. " Thinking ahead isn't exactly one of my virtues." She looked around the street and found something that would be sufficient enough. " No problem!" she called out.

She walked over to the entrance of Dosey's market and returned with a wheelbarrow.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Xander said, as Faith began to load Dawn into it and not too gently.

"You have a better idea?" Faith asked.

* * *

Buffy wrapped the sheets around her as she lay back against the pillows. Lorelai ran the tip of her finger down Buffy's arm, her mind lost in thought.

"What are you thinking of?" Buffy asked.

"I just keep going over it again and again in my head. I just can't believe this happened. I mean I thought about it many times, but I just figured it was a fantasy. Something taboo to keep myself distracted. Keep myself distracted from the dreams I've been having."

"What kind of dreams?" Buffy asked.

"Nightmares actually," Lorelai admitted. " It's been happening for a month now. I'm lost in the forest and I'm running away from something. I never see what it is, but I know I'm terrified. And then I stumble and fall and it comes for me."

"But you never see who it is?" Buffy asked.

"That's the thing, it's not a person. It's nothing. It's shapeless but terrifying and when it comes over me there's a feeling of nothingness. No hope, no faith—nothing. Just nothing."

"I understand nightmares," Buffy said, chewing on her lower lip as she began to think over some of the nightmares she'd been having. The memory spell seemed to be seeping into other parts of her life and it was scaring her. Would she wake up one day and remember anything? And if she didn't remember, who would she be?

Lorelai sighed and she hugged Buffy close to her. " This is the first night I haven't had the nightmares."

"In all fairness we haven't slept that much tonight," Buffy chuckled.

Lorelai smiled. " True. I still can't believe it."

"Neither can I," Buffy agreed. " No matter how much my mind dwelled on it, I knew I would never go through with it. But the spell, it just makes you forget all that, or at least not make it so important. I—"

Lorelai raised herself up on one elbow and looked into Buffy's face. "Did you just say spell?"

Buffy paused. Had she? Surely she wouldn't have done something so careless. " The spell of...alcohol," Buffy improvised.

Lorelai frowned. " No, You said spell. You meant spell. I know you did."

Buffy sighed. " Fine, it's a spell. We have been put under a spell—everyone in the Inn I would think. Something to free our inhibitions."

"Are you looking for excuses to what happened?" Lorelai asked. " Are you ashamed?"

"What? No!" Buffy said defensively. " I...you don't believe me. There is magic Lorelai, and demons and evil. All over the place and I'm not supposed to be telling you this, but again, the—"

"The spell is making you say them," Lorelai said. She rolled over, pulling her sheets around herself as she got to her feet. " I think maybe you should just go."

"What? Why?" Buffy asked. How had this gone so wrong? " I can't believe you think I'm lying."

"What happened here was shocking Buffy, but there's no need to lie to me," Lorelai said. " It was a mistake. And I think you should go."

Buffy got to her feet and began to try and retrieve her clothes. Buffy wasn't surprised. She had to live with these secrets everyday and it only reminded her that no matter how close she would get to someone it would end up like this. With the person looking at her the way Lorelai was looking at her now.

Like she was crazy.

* * *

Spike held Kate close as he stroked the hair away from her temples. He couldn't help the smile that had remained on his face, but hid it from her. He wasn't exactly sure what had just happened to make her change his mind about him, but he wasn't about to start acting like a lovesick git. A couple of hours ago she had been very clear on her choice. The dancing nancy lumberjack.

Kate ran her hand over his bare chest as a wicked smile curled her lips at the thought of what was going to happen next. She was going to kill him. She was going to see his face twist with shock and pain before he died. It was turning out to be the best night ever, he thought as he find himself being pulled into the warmth of sleep.

She reached beneath her pillow to the knife she had concealed before and wrapped her fingers around the engraved ivory. She slowly began to pull the knife out as she rose herself up on her elbow.

Spike's eyes were closed in sleep.

She licked her lips and she pulled the knife clear from the pillow and raised it above his chest.

Spike's eyes snapped open just as the knife came down. At the last possible second, Kate hesitated. A look of fear passed over her face as she jumped backwards—practically falling off the bed. She threw the knife, wanting it as far away from her as possible as she backed away from it.

The knife hit the floor and slid under the bed as she grabbed her robe. "Bloody Hell!" Spike yelled, as he sat up looking at Kate in confusion.

"I'm…" Kate sputtered. " I have to go. I have to….stop your whining….I can't….do it…"

Spike watched in disbelief at what was happening in front of him. It was as thought she was having a conversation with herself. Her voice had changed between her own and a deeper, huskier voice.

Finally with a last bit of desperation, Kate turned and threw herself out the window, the sound of glass breaking all around her. Spike was on his feet and standing at the window within a matter of seconds. There was broken glass all over the pavement but no trace of Kate anywhere.

Spike leaned against the window frame as he pulled a cigarette from the pack he kept on the windowsill. " Well," he said, as he drew in the nicotine, " I'll be buggered."

* * *

Buffy walked through the dark streets of Stars Hollow with her jacket wrapped tightly around her. She had managed to salvage most of her dress, though the corset had been slightly torn and was threatening to reveal her cleavage to the world. She had managed to secure a jacket from downstairs before fleeing the Inn.

It had taken her several minutes to actually leave. She kept hesitating, turning and heading for the stairs and then just sitting there waiting for Lorelai. But Lorelai never made an appearance. Buffy went through all the emotions in those minutes, anger, sadness, disbelief, frustration and acceptance.

As she walked she figured it had happened for the best. It was clear that she and Lorelai were never meant to be a long time thing—but she hadn't figured on this short. She had tried to share something and had been shot down. Considering what she had been trying to share, she couldn't blame Lorelai for thinking she was nuts. Demons and monsters weren't things you easily accepted the moment you heard it. If she had, Buffy might be the one thinking Lorelai was crazy.

Yet, it still hurt.

And so here she was, walking through snow covered streets in a pair of stilettos that were just about to cripple her for life. Yet, the appearance of her house was like an answer to a prayer. This no inhibition thing had seemed to worn her out and all she wanted was to fall into a peaceful sleep.

Buffy called out, but no one answered. She shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it over the railing as she sat down to remove her killer shoes. She heard a noise upstairs and paused. Waiting. Listening. She heard another sound and began to run up the stairs, her feet pounding as the stilettos still remained on her feet.

In her haste she hadn't managed to grab her jacket, and ran half dressed towards the noise. As she passed Willow's room she paused, noticing the disarray the room was in. Someone had broken into the house.

Buffy turned into Spike's room and realized with a little bit of embarrassment that it was most likely spike that had made the noise. Just to be safe she kept her guard up as she moved towards the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar and there was light coming from inside.

Buffy used the toe of her shoe to gently push the door open. The bathroom was hot and foggy as she stepped inside. The water was still running but she couldn't see anyone inside.

The door slammed shut behind her, and before she could react, she felt someone grab her and hurl her against the wall. Something hard pressed against her larynx cutting off her breath. She blinked her eyes in rapid succession trying to clear the stars out of her eyes.

"Bloody hell," came a deep voice. The pressure on her throat lessened as he stepped back. " Sorry Buffy. You shouldn't come sneaking in on a guy."

Buffy rubbed her throat, realizing with a shock that Spike was still completely naked, having interrupted his shower. "I thought someone had broken in," she replied, her voice weak.

Spike ran his fingers through his hair as he paced in front of her. He realized his nakedness then and grabbed a towel from the rack and quickly wrapped it around his lower half.

"What are you doing back from the party?" he asked.

"Didn't enjoy it as much as I'd thought," Buffy answered, giving him a simple answer. "You left too, why?"

"Not much of a crowd guy," Spike said. He placed his hand on the wall a couple of inches above her head. " But then again, you should know that about me."

"Right," Buffy said. " I was just wondering if it was one specific thing in general that—you know—made you leave."

"You've always been a bad liar Buffy," Spike said.

"If you have a point, I'd wish you'd reach it. You're dripping on me." Buffy said, trying to keep her tone cool under the intensity of his eyes.

Spike looked down and sure enough there were now drops of water all over her very exposed chest. Buffy shifted uncomfortably under his stare. _He knew. He knows that I don't remember him_, she thought.

"You didn't leave because it wasn't fun," he said.

Buffy mentally gave a sigh of relief. He didn't know. But the way he was smiling at her definitely meant he knew something and she wasn't in the mood.

"You know—besides the fact that you have no idea who I am," he whispered with a cocky half grin on his face.

"You're Spike," Buffy muttered lamely.

"You know the name, I'll give you that," Spike continued. " Just not the man."

"You aren't a man," Buffy muttered, meeting his eyes in a silent dare to press her on the issue.

"Fair enough," Spike answered simply. "That's not the reason you left. I think you had too much fun," Spike said, his voice taking on a tone that was becoming intrusive and seductive at the same time.

Buffy couldn't believe it, but under the husky tone of his voice she found herself, moving towards him even though she had no idea why. Whatever he had to say wasn't going to be good and yet she found herself thinking that if he kept talking to her and looking at her the way he was, she wanted to hear anything he had to say.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked again, only speaking cause she felt like it was her turn in their flirty banter.

She had to tip her head to look up at him, bringing her face only closer to his. He smiled, his eyes flicking over her parted lips. " You had sex."

"What!?" Buffy said being shocked out of the fog she was in.

"I can smell it on you, remember?" He said. " Didn't realize you were playing for Red's team now."

"It…it was the spell," she said quickly. Then wondered why she was explaining herself.

"Spell?" Spike asked.

"It's a spell that lowers inhibitions, at least I think," Buffy explained. " I don't know if us realizing it is part of the spell but there it is. And I'm slipping. It's getting stronger and stronger all the time."

Spike's eyes widened as he thought back to the encounter with Kate. This was explaining the weird thing that had happened—and why she was brandishing a seriously wicked knife only moments after their tryst. However, none of this seemed to surprise him as much as the way Buffy was looking at him now.

"And I have all these urges," Buffy further explained, feeling herself moving even closer. " And I don't seem to care about right or wrong. I don't seem to care about anything…but the urge."

Spike began to move backwards a little. " Buffy…I believe you ok? You're under a spell. We should find the rest of the scoobies and try to fix this. Get you neutered or something."

Buffy smiled. This new idea was suddenly making so much sense as the urge began to pull her in again. " Why?"

She pushed him backwards at the same time he grabbed onto her and they tumbled into the shower, falling against the wall as the hot spray cascaded over them. " Are you saying you don't want to? Cause," she peered down. " It doesn't seem like you're not interested."

* * *

Faith, Ashley and Xander stood in the foyer of the Inn and looked around at the guests that remained. The Inn looked like a tornado had gone through it and things were going on that you wouldn't expect to see outside of a brothel.

Faith smiled. " Looks like my idea of a party. Remind me why we are stopping this again?"

"Cause it's wrong," Xander answered.

"Right," Faith said. "I know I should remember that, but damn it if I don't forget that every time." She added a snap of her fingers to her sarcastic retort.

Ashley looked around unable to see Willow or anyone else from the rest of the gang. " Ok, so let's spread out and look for the Urn."

"And then we…?" Faith began.

"Smashing it to smithereens should do it," Ashley answered. " It's not as mystical but there's no need to pretty things up."

"I think the guests are taking care of the not prettying it up," Faith said with a wince.

The three of them separated and began to search the Inn. Ashley headed upstairs and Xander and Faith went into the main room. As though an invisible button had been flipped, the guests turned at the same time and fixed their looks on the intruders.

Faith and Xander paused. Xander looked around at all the faces staring at him and smiled. " Hey guys! Fun party. Just here to make out!"

With that he grabbed onto Faith's arm, dipped her backwards and planted a kiss on her lips. He righted her and then turned back to the crowd. "See!"

Faith tugged at her shirt leaning in close to whisper to him. " That was about 50 saving your ass and 50 copping a feel, wasn't it?"

"More 30/70," Xander replied, never taking his gaze off the crowd.

"Which is which?" Faith asked.

"I'll tell you later, you know—when we're not walking into a murderous crowd."

Faith, never one to wait, walked forward. She knocked three people to the ground without even slowing as she looked around the room. The crowd was on their feet and attacking with only one thing on their minds—to remain the way they were—doing what they wanted.

Xander and Faith fought as hard as they could without actually hurting beyond repair, which was difficult when the crowd didn't have that same consideration.

As Xander was thrown to the ground, he rolled behind the couch and out of the corner of his eye he saw the ugliest urn he had ever seen in his life. It had to be the one. It was hidden behind a plant and had he not been given this vantage point, he would never have seen it.

Just then a middle aged blonde women who smelled of an overdose of floral perfume and alcohol had thrown herself over Xander's legs and was now trying to punch him in the face. Xander grabbed her arms and gritted his teeth as he tried to keep her meaty arms from pummeling his face.

"Faith!" He yelled out.

Seconds later she appeared from behind the women, looking like she'd taken quite a beating. She went to pull the women from Xander but he stopped her. " I've got this," he grunted. " Fireplace!"

She looked over, catching sight of the Urn and gave him a nod before she took off for the fireplace.

"I'm really sorry about this," Xander said to the women, as he brought his head up and head butted her as hard as he could.

Pain shot through his head and stars danced in front of his eyes as the women fell to a heap beside him. He clutched his head, groaning loudly. They had always made it look so easy in movies. It was a move he was never going to try again.

He rolled to his stomach and got to his feet slowly, using the couch as a crutch to help him remain standing. Faith had got stopped on her way to the fireplace and was now trying to fight off three men who were obviously enjoying themselves a little too much.

Xander hurried over to them, yanking one guy off before starting on the second. Faith had enough fighting room now to take care of herself as she inched her way closer and closer towards the Urn.

Faith fell onto the ground as someone grabbed her legs out from underneath her. With a grunt she kicked her legs as hard as she could and he went flying back into the crowd. Faith and Xander stumbled to their feet only a couple of feet from the Urn behind them. Slowly they began to back up while keeping their eyes on the crowd in front of them.

"How you wanna play this?" Faith said.

"How about we just smash the Urn," Xander said. " It's right there I mean how much damage could they do in a couple of seconds."

"Oh, I really wish you hadn't said that," Faith said, as she touched her hand to Xander's arm, motioning for him to look.

Xander turned and sure enough "damage" came in the form of a guy with a gun.

"Feeling faster than a speeding bullet Harris?" Faith whispered.

"Feeling like a shield, Lahane?" he whispered back.

The guy with the gun stepped forward holding the guy out in front of him. "I'm going for it," Xander whispered.

"Are you nuts?" Faith asked.

Before Faith could stop him Xander turned for the Urn. Everything seemed to move in slow motion; Xander diving for the urn, Faith rooted to the spot and the guy with the gun moving forward, his gun pointed at Xander.

Faith moved quickly, wrapping her arms around Xander's waist and using all her weight to push him to the floor. The gun went off and the sound echoed through the room.

Faith was lying on top of him, as Xander struggled to see what was going on. The urn was right at his feet and as the gunman came towards him again, Xander lifted his leg and kicked as hard as he could. His foot came into contact with the Urn and it went flying across the room, smashed into the wall and fell to pieces on the floor.

Everyone seemed to pause and then crumple to the ground, as white flashes seemed to float out of their bodies and disappear into the night. Xander put his hands on Faith's shoulders. " I wasn't serious about the shield remark Faith," Xander laughed. His laughter stopped when he realized that Faith wasn't answering back with her usual snappy wit. In fact she wasn't moving at all.

Xander rolled her over onto her back and watched in horror as her head lolled to the side. He looked down, pulling her jacket back and watched the red blossoming over her side and pooling onto the carpet beneath her.

"Faith? Faith!" Xander shouted, shaking her. " Oh god. Ashley!"

Xander laid his head over Faith's chest and checked her pulse. It was growing weaker with each second as her blood flowed out of her. She'd taken a bullet for him. And if he didn't get help she would have given her life for it. Where the hell was Ashley?

* * *

With a loud curse, the demon master pushed his cauldron to the ground and watched as the liquid spilled onto the ground. Steam rose from the hot liquid and Talon moved back quickly as to not be burned.

"I'm so sorry master," Talon muttered; as he bent his head low. His head snapped back up, his face showed confusement at what he heard next. The demon master wasn't yelling, he was laughing. And every moment that passed his laugh got louder and louder.

"Master?" Talon questioned. " The spell, it was ruined."

The demon master nodded. " Yes, they broke it. But it doesn't matter Talon. It would have happened eventually. All those inhibitions, all those secrets are out there now. There will be no forgetting what they have done or said. The journey was the spell Talon. The damage has already been done."

Once Talon was dismissed he headed towards the entrance of the underground cave in which he'd spent weeks of his life. He walked up the tunnel towards the park where the cave opened.

He was on an errand for his master, and he hurried along the dark and stale tunnel towards the fresh air he had craved for weeks. As he reached the entrance he pulled the shabby blue robe off and tossed it into the bushes. And as he walked he transformed.

His body stretched from 4 feet to 6 feet; his long dark hair shortened turning to it's normal dirty blonde; his shoulders widened and muscles rippled down his arms; his clothes fell from his body as he literally outgrew them. He went over to a rock nearby and pulled out a pair of jeans and a white tee that he threw on quickly. It felt good to be in his own skin again and not trapped in that prison he'd created.

"Now that's a much better look to that pimply leprosy candidate look you had going. This is much more winter than spring," came an amused voice.

Talon turned around, a smile on his face. "Hey Pur. What's it been? 5 years?"

She smiled, folding her arms over her chest. "More like ten, but who's counting? And it's Jenn now, or at least for right now."

"Jenn," he said with a nod. " How very normal of you."

"Right. Talon," she mocked.

"So no hug?" he asked, holding out his arms for the hug he knew he'd never receive.

"It's never a hug with you Talon," Jenn said, arching her eyebrow upward. " I should have figured you'd be behind this."

Talon smiled. " Who knew no inhibitions would lead to so much sex," he laughed. " Does seem like my work, but alas I was merely the assistant."

"Why?" Jenn asked.

"Why not? Cause there's chaos, danger, temptation all those things that make life interesting."

His voice had taken a suggestive undertone as he walked towards her. Jenn wasn't amused and she definitely wasn't taking the bait. " Don't try that bad boy stuff with me," she said. " Only Ace ever fell for that."

"You got me there," he said with a grin as he clasped his hand over his heart with a chuckle and shake of his head.

"So where's Lynx?" Jenn asked casually.

"Who?" Talon said feigning innocence. _Something he was never very good at, _Jenn thought.

"Come on. Tall, dark, handsome and completely out to annoy me anyway possible. Wherever you are, he's not far behind."

Talon grinned. " He's around." He walked closer to her. He pressed his hand just over her heart, any lower and she would have hit him. "Why? Have you been itching for him?"

Jenn rolled her eyes. "Right cause I love complicated."

"That's funny," Talon said, leaning in to whisper into her ear. " Cause from what Lynx says, that's exactly what you craved."

Jenn felt her entire body tense and she knew that Talon had felt it too and he chuckled low under his breath. He pulled back, a cocky half smile on his face. The same smile Ace used to complain about all the time, the smile that would make you do almost anything. Damn him, damn both of them.

Talon grabbed a jacket and began to walk away. Jenn spun around refusing that he has the last word. "You do know the spell didn't work. It's over! You failed."

Talon turned around mid step, backing away with that same smile on his face, as he shrugged in his innocent boy act. " I told you it wasn't my spell. Besides, the damage is done."

* * *

The damage had been done.

The residents of Stars Hollow were all aware that something strange had taken place. The moment the Urn was broken the memories of what had happened over a couple of hours were going to stay with them for a long time.

For Buffy, she came to and found herself tangled with Spike in a make out session that would have made her ears burn red. She had jumped backwards as if caught by a parent and fled as quickly as possible.

Dawn and Jess found themselves standing in a mess of glass and broken furniture of a house that they had broken into. They had been moments away from sex, and Dawn realized in horror, what she had just been about to do. Dawn pulled her shirt back into place, her eyes tearing up with the look of disappointment in Jess' face as he walked away from her.

Brooke walked the streets of the town, tears streaming down her face. Even with no inhibitions she hadn't been able to tell Dawn her secret. A secret that she thought she might never get to share.

And Willow.

Willow was sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at her hands. Her whole body was trembling and the bile rose in her throat. The blood covered vase fell from her hands and smashed onto the floor at her feet.

All the blood. There was so much blood.

"Willow? Willow what did you do?"

Xander stared at her bloodstained hands in shock.

"I didn't mean to," Willow sobbed.

Xander's eyes skimmed the room. Lorelai was lying unconscious on the bed, her chest rising and falling softly. But lying at Willow's feet on the floor was Ashley. There was blood over her face and pooling on the carpet beside her. That wasn't what was going to haunt Xander. It was her eyes.

Her light blue eyes were frozen in horror, wide and staring at the ceiling.

Lifeless.

* * *

To be Continued…. 


	37. Kate Doesn't Live Here Anymore

36

**Kate Doesn't Live Here Anymore**

* * *

_It was a nightmare._

_Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. One minute she was standing in the room with Ashley and the next Ashley was lying on the floor. She didn't even know how she had ended up there. One minute she was somewhere else and the next she was standing in a bedroom with Ashley's horrified face looking back at her._

_Something inside of her had snapped, and she hadn't been able to control it. Part of her screamed to control it, but something had taken over and that something had a mind of its own._

_Blood._

_There was so much blood. Willow stared down at her hands as the blood dripped onto the carpet. When was she going to wake up? Now Xander was shaking her by the shoulders, yelling words that she couldn't comprehend. She was in a fog. When was she going to wake up?_

_Ashley. Ashley was dead. And she had killed her._

_And now there were more people. Faith was shot and there was even more blood. Willow watched in horror as Faith began to turn white, her lips looking blue and swollen. This wasn't real. It wasn't happening._

_Brooke was hovering over Ashley and there was light. It was too bright. More yelling. More people. More blood. At least they weren't yelling at her anymore. Faith was dying, that much she understood amongst the yelling. It was too late for Ashley they kept urging Brooke, who clung to her friend like a life preserver._

_Brooke broke away from Ashley with a sob and turned to Faith. And there was light again. Faith was slipping. That's what Brooke was saying over and over again. It was too late._

_She covered her ears with her hands. The sounds of death were pulling her further and further into the fog. She was a killer…again. She had killed Ashley. She looked into Ashley's lifeless eyes….so frightened, so accusing._

_It was all over._

* * *

" Ashes to ashes," began the solemn tone of the minister.

Buffy began to pull apart the tissue she held between her hands. Not knowing what to do, but knowing that she had to do something. There were sounds of people crying all around her and she felt bad that she couldn't join them. Even though she knew that crying would be some kind of release, she just felt too empty. Too removed.

Xander stood by her side, his head bowed so low that his chin rested against his chest. Buffy looked over from at him and saw a tear slide down his cheek and felt her heart expand in her chest. The misery was choking her and yet there was no release.

She transferred the torn tissue into her right hand and with the left she reached out and took Xander's hand in hers. He smiled as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and squeezed her hand gently in silent thanks.

The sun chose to shine on this solemn occasion as if the world hadn't caught up with the events of New Year's. It refused to be as miserable as the townspeople—instead it shone bright and warm creating a glistening effect on the freshly fallen snow.

Buffy looked around at the people standing around the coffin. Black against the white of the snow was such a startling contrast, that if felt almost symbolic. Would there have been a funeral if they hadn't come? No, of course not, because they brought it with them. She wouldn't have died if they had just stayed away.

As the coffin began its descent into the ground, the mourners moved away slowly. Xander turned to Buffy and without a word between them; they turned and headed away from the site towards the car.

"How is Willow?" Buffy asked after several minutes of silence. She felt bad that she hadn't really been around Willow in the past couple of days. It was too painful.

Xander opened his mouth to answer, thought better of it and remained quiet. It took him several more minutes before he could think of an answer fitting enough for such big a question. " She's devastated," he finally answered. Even to him that sounded so simple, but how else could he describe it?

"Miss Patty was at the house the other day I noticed," Buffy said.

Xander nodded. " Giles sent for her. She gave something to Willow. A kind of …sedative." He paused again, reaching for his car keys. Suddenly he banged his fists against the roof of his car, swearing under his breath. Buffy jumped at the sudden burst of violence. "I can't believe I am even talking like this," he whispered. " A sedative? I mean this is Willow. She's made mistakes before, but this is too much, Buffy. It's like she's not even Willow anymore! She's practically catatonic and I don't even know…I don't even know who she is anymore. She made a mistake, she was under a spell…it's not fair."

His voice trailed off as the grief threatened to make him break down. Buffy reached out and rested her hand on his shoulder. "I know she did Xander. We all did with that spell."

"Not like her," Xander answered, shaking his head. " Not like that."

Buffy didn't know how to answer that. No matter what had happened none of them had gone as far as Willow. Willow had warned them that she felt the darkness again, trying to get her. They had all told her that she was perfectly fine and it was all behind her. Buffy was starting to think they had been trying to convince themselves of that instead of her. All of them had thought about this day. Worried that the darkness might find her again.

"We can help her Xander," Buffy insisted.

Xander shook his head. He turned then and wrapped his arms around Buffy, hugging her tightly. Resting his head against hers, he closed his eyes and whispered. " I used to think so too."

* * *

Willow pulled the blankets tighter around her body as she felt the last shivers of the cold leave her body. The bluish concoction that Miss Patty had made her drink sat on her bedside table. She had been sipping it slowly as directed, but the chemical taste had left her with a headache and a metallic taste in her mouth. It was one of the only things she could actually have a physical reaction to—the only thing she felt or tasted.

There was a knock on the door that brought her out of her thoughts and made her tense all at the same time. She had asked to be left alone, not wanting to see the looks of worry or pity in everyone's eyes. And she didn't think she was paranoid in thinking that she saw traces of fear there too, but could she blame them?

There was a second knock.

Willow knew she should say something, but couldn't bring herself to say the words. She didn't even want to hear the sound of her own words. There was a third knock before the door opened without the invitation.

Willow's eyes widened as her heart began to race in her chest. She shook her head back and forth, slowly at first and then quicker and quicker as she squeezed her eyes shut as though trying to erase them image.

She opened her eyes, her heart in her throat. " B…But you're dead."

* * *

Dawn rolled over and pulled her blankets up to her chin. The curtains were still open and now the sunlight was streaming into her room waking her out of her peaceful sleep. She had spent a lot of time in her room since New Years, either awake or going crazy with thought or asleep.

Jess still hadn't called her since then and part of her was happy for it. How was she ever supposed to explain her behavior? Sure he had acted just as crazy, but because she knew about magic and everything she somehow felt guilty, as though he had an excuse to act the way he did. Even thinking about what had happened made her want to lock the door and throw away the key spending the rest of her life locked away from the public.

The worse part knew that she was moments away from sleeping with him. It wasn't a horrible thought, and it wasn't like she hadn't thought of it countless times before. But sleeping with someone for the first time was not something you wanted to do while under a spell—though it would have helped with the nerves.

The worst part was the look on Jess' face when the spell had ended and she had pushed him away from her. He had looked rejected and hurt and she had felt so guilty. She knew she shouldn't, but after everything she just figured he would think her a tease. A little teasing was fine, but she knew lots of guys who just got fed up and walked away. And Jess had walked away. He had left her sitting there in that living room all by herself and it had been days now of no communication.

And to add to her guilt, she knew that she should be thinking about other things too. She should be thinking about Willow. Or Faith. Or Ashley. Instead her mind refused to let go of Jess. Dawn couldn't help but check her cell phone for the millionth time that morning. The only text messages she had received were from Jenn.

That was another person she had to apologize too. But Jenn was another person she couldn't bring herself to talk to. Jenn had performed magic right in front of Dawn, and Dawn knew that if they spoke then she would have to ask Jenn about it. And even though she hadn't hurt Dawn, she couldn't help but wonder what side of the team she was playing for. And if she were evil, Dawn could wait to know that. For now she wanted to be in blissful ignorance, because that was the place where Jenn was still her friend and she couldn't afford to lose the one friend she had.

The house was quiet still. Buffy and Xander had gone to the funeral this morning, another even Dawn felt she should have attended. She should have been there but she couldn't face all those people, not after what she had done.

* * *

Willow shook her head to clear her vision. On top of everything she was seeing things now.

She opened her eyes and found that she wasn't seeing things. She was standing right there.

Ashley.

"Hey, I'm not looking my best, true. But I am very much alive."

"I'm so sorry I killed you," Willow said, before bursting into sobs. Ashley walked over to Willow and sat down on the edge of the bed, holding Willow's hands in her own.

"Willow you aren't imagining this," Ashley said softly. " I'm ok."

Willow looked back up at her, wiping her face with the back of her hand. " But I remember everything. I hit you and you were lying there on the floor. A…And you were dead. We…we checked. Xander carried you out."

"Brooke and I are healers," Ashley explained. " Brooke came as soon as she felt me slipping away. It was blocked for a minute with the spell, but the moment the spell was lifted she found me. It was close, but she saved me. Besides, it takes more than a head wound to kill me."

Willow sucked in deep breaths, trying to calm down. " I am so sorry. I…I "

"It was the spell Willow," Ashley said. " The longer the spell went on the more everyone started to lose their souls. The demon controlled them to stop anyone from lifting the spell. You were being controlled, that's all."

"What about Lorelai?" Willow asked.

"She's fine," Ashley reassured her. " She has a little bit of a lump on her head but I modified her memory enough that she doesn't know that you did it. She just thinks that she fell. As for everything else, people seem to remember everything they did and we can't modify everyone's memory."

Willow nodded slowly, staring hard at Ashley as if expecting her to disappear between blinks. "I can't just blame it on the spell," Willow said softly. " Because I have felt for a long time that there was darkness inside me still. I saw it in the mirror that day and I felt it inside me during the spell."

Ashley put her arms around Willow and hugged her tightly. "Willow please don't do this to yourself." She held Willow at arm's length and looked her straight in the eye. "We all have darkness inside of us, you just happen to worry more because you're a witch. And because you are, you can also do so much good in this world. Yes, once you tried to end it, but you always saved it countless times. You also became a goddess. But you aren't acting like a goddess because you are afraid to give in. And until you give into that with your whole heart that you will never be able to reach that place where the fear doesn't eat at you. You have to understand that Willow. I have seen it, you just need to let yourself see it too."

Willow sat in silence. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and still her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Ashley got up from the bed and turned from the door.

"W…Where are you going?!" Willow called out, breaking the silence.

Ashley turned, her smile fading. " I don't think my being here is helping you right now. Something about me brings up things that you aren't ready to face, and you should be concentrating on yourself right now Willow. There is a big fight coming up and we all need you with us. I have things to do and I have to go."

"Where? When will you be back?" Willow asked. Her mind raced, trying to think of something to say to make Ashley stay.

"There's just some things I need to do," Ashley repeated. " Brooke will stay here to help. I love you Willow."

"You're coming back right?" Willow asked, feeling her heart break all over again.

Ashley felt tears form in her own eyes at the sad look on Willow's face as the tears streamed down her face. "I….I don't know Willow." Ashley answered. " Please be strong for me. Forgive yourself. Accept who you really are."

* * *

Buffy tossed the keys on the table as she slipped out of her coat. Xander closed the door behind them. Buffy looked around the empty living room. " For a house full of people it's so eerie how silent it is, isn't it?"

Xander looked up the stairs in the direction of Willow's room. " It's a lot to recover from. I don't think there are going to be happy scoobies around here for awhile."

"Speak for yourself Harris." Faith walked towards them balancing a pint of ice cream and a spoon dangling out of her mouth. Faith sucked the ice cream off the spoon and scooped another spoonful as she leant against the doorframe. " How was the funeral?"

"What a bizarre question." Buffy muttered.

"It was sad," Xander answered not knowing what else to say. " A lot of her students showed up. Another victim of too much fun. Heart attack related, not mystical, but we figured we should show up. Show some support."

"Well that's nice," Faith said, distractedly as she rooted back into the ice cream.

Buffy sighed loudly. " We don't eat out of bowls anymore?"

Faith shrugged. " I'll get you more. You'd think you'd take it easy on me B. Gunshot wound and all. Lots of ice cream is the solution."

"That's for tonsils," Xander pointed out.

"So I would assume a gun shot wound would deserve the entire carton," Faith pointed out as she carried her ice cream into the living room.

Buffy rolled her eyes. " I'm going to check on Willow." She turned and headed upstairs.

Xander headed into the living room and took a seat on the couch across from Faith. " So how are you feeling?"

"Great," Faith said. " That ex of yours sure is good with the healing voo doo. Though I think she has something against me cause she left a scar and everything." To prove this she arched her back and lifted her shirt up revealing a pinkish scar.

Xander's eyes widened at the sudden reveal of flesh and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He couldn't help but let his eyes rest on her skin, knowing that he should look away. Any moment now he would look away. Any moment now…

A throat being cleared brought him back to attention as he whipped his head around and found Dawn looking between the two of them.

"Hey Dawnie," Xander said, his voice going a pitch or two higher than normal. " What's up?"

Dawn frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. " Nothing. I am going out for awhile."

"Where?" Xander asked.

"For a walk," Dawn improvised.

"Ok," Xander answered, even though she didn't exactly need his permission to go anywhere. " Just don't stay out too long, Giles wants to have a meeting."

Dawn rolled her eyes. " Great, so we can all sit around and reminisce how completely stupid we all were."

"Something to that effect." Xander smiled.

Dawn didn't return the smile but she threw on her coat and marched into the kitchen

Faith shook her head. " Well she'd definitely got the broody thing down pat."

Xander was still staring at the spot where Dawn had been standing. " I think we all have a touch of that considering everything."

"At least she didn't get shot," Faith said.

"Why did you get shot anyway?" Xander asked, turning his full attention back to Faith.

"Your mother never explained to you how guns work?" Faith teased.

" The gun was pointing at me Faith," Xander said, refusing to be thrown off tracks.

"So? You got lucky," Faith said. " What's the big deal?"

"You jumped in front of me. You saved my life."

"Well you're welcome."

"Why?"

"Oh come on Harris. I saved your life. I didn't hit on you. Calm down."

Xander opened his mouth to say something but by then the rest of the scoobies were beginning to join them.

Needless to say, when everyone showed up in the living room for the meeting, tensions were high. Everyone looked around at everyone else as they silently wondered what each other had been up to that night.

Although a big block of time was missing from Willow's night, she refused to comment or join the meeting. Ashley and Brooke sat together on the loveseat keeping to themselves.

Ashley had been very quiet since this morning. Her whole body felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to her limbs and the slightest movement would send spasms of pain throughout her body. She had dark circles around her eyes and her skin was still slightly blue—she felt like the walking dead. Only, she wasn't dead and for that she knew that she should be grateful. And she would be once the pain subsided.

She had just come from Willow's room after trying to convince her that everything was OK, when in reality it was far from. The image of Willow coming at her would forever be emblazoned on her mind. The look of fury and rage in Willow's eyes was permanently imprinted on the insides of her eyelids whenever she closed them. Ashley had on felt a quick stab of pain before everything had gone black.

Spell or not the end result had been the same Willow had killed her. Considering she was powerful Guardian, Willow would have had to take a pretty serious dose of magic to kill her.

Perhaps the biggest concern was how Willow had killed her. A powerful dose of black magic would have killed Ashley—dead as in the kind that doesn't come back. Willow had tapped into her goddess power. On one hand the fact that she didn't tap into dark magic was good, on the other the fact that she'd used good magic was scary as hell.

Brooke wasn't up to par either. After bringing two people back from the dead she was ready for a long vacation. Or anyplace that wasn't currently, here. These people were too busy with their indiscretions, love lives or spells to focus on the bigger picture. Soon there would be a battle and she felt like she was watching chickens run around without their heads.

Xander and Dawn had been the only things that kept her to this place. Xander no longer looked at her, let along spoke to her. And Dawn was still in the dark about the fact she had a mother who was very much alive.

Giles entered the living room with Dawn right behind him carrying a tray full of drinks and snacks.

"Ok, we're going to keep this short," Giles began. At the word 'short' there was a collective sigh of relief. " Everyone is tired, I know. As we all know and have realized is that we all seem to—unfortunately—remember the past 24 hours as does the town. We are going to let sleeping dogs lie and just try to continue as we were. I don't think this latest demon is a big player, but merely a distraction."

"Well that's all peachy keen Giles, but I got shot and almost died," Faith said. " And I hate to interrupt this bygones be bygones speech but it's sorta an issue with me. Getting all dead and everything."

Buffy rolled her eyes. " Like we haven't all been there and done that by now. You died. Big deal. You're not dead now."

Giles slipped his glasses off his nose and continued to clean them. " And you were healed completely Faith."

Faith pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. " Still—not cool."

"Hey, not to change the subject here but where's Kate? Shouldn't she be here," Xander asked.

"Yeah, considering this is supposed to be a meeting," Dawn said. " And Willow, Kate and Spike aren't even here!"

At the mention of Spike and Willow, both Buffy and Ashley physically winced, shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Dawn understood Ashley's actions but watched Buffy with interest. What had happened between them?

Buffy caught here sister's eye and smiled uneasily. Dawn had been watching her too closely lately and it was very unsettling.

Giles sighed, replacing his glasses. "Maybe we should go find Kate, see if she's ok?" Buffy asked.

"I don't think she's in any trouble," Giles began.

"In this town?" Buffy asked. " Yeah right. It doesn't hurt to check." That and she wanted to be as far away from the watchful eye of her sister and friends.

"Well if Buffy's leaving, I'm going too," Dawn said, as she got to her feet.

"Fine, fine—pay no attention," Giles said absently. " It's not like I'm trying to talk about important issues here."

"Well, good then." Buffy said cheerfully. She slipped on her coat as Giles went on about attention span of children under his breath. Dawn had already dressed and was out the door with Buffy having to run to catch up with her.

* * *

Lorelai pushed her fries around her plate, her thoughts running a mile a minute.

"You ok?"

Lorelai looked up and smiled at Luke as she shrugged her shoulders in response. "Fine."

"You sure?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I brought you out that plate of fries about five minutes ago and you haven't hoover-ed them back yet," Luke answered.

Lorelai frowned. " I don't hoover. I savoir."

"You do know the definition of savoir, right?" Luke asked.

"What is this—Webster's dictionary with every potato delivery of something?" Lorelai snapped, regretting it the moment it came out of her mouth.

Luke's smile faltered. "Is there something in the water to cause women to go bizarre-o?"

"Oh my god," Lorelai said dramatically as her jaw dropped open. " Did you just use a pop culture reference?"

Luke shrugged. " It's superman or something." He muttered it under his breath as though he had just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Lorelai smiled. " I always pegged you for the kinda guy who likes his superheroes in tights."

"It's aerodynamic," Luke responded with a cocky half smile as he continued wiping down the counter.

"You aren't like other men my friend," Lorelai smiled.

"So I've heard. Now stop changing the subject. What's wrong with you?"

"According to the mother of the mass population?" Lorelai asked.

"According to you."

"Ah, well that's a sore subject," Lorelai answered as the cause for her upset chose that moment to walk through the door. Lorelai stopped talking and turned her back towards them, hoping that somehow she had blended well enough they wouldn't see her. Considering she chose today of all days to wear her bright lime jacket—she didn't see that happening.

"Hey Luke!" Dawn said, walking quickly to the counter. " Where's Jess?"

"He's upstairs. Supposedly studying, but you can go up if you want." Luke answered.

Dawn smiled. " Thanks."

Dawn didn't bother to question Buffy and Lorelai on the reason they were so obviously ignoring each other. Dawn began up the stairs, a smile already forming as she thought of seeing Jess. And then the nerves kicked in. Last time they had been together they had been very close to sliding into home plate. He had walked away looking rejected and they hadn't spoken since. The butterflies began to do their crazy dance in the pit of her stomach.

Just then there was a loud crash from the upstairs apartment. Dawn paused mid slap and then began to run quickly, bursting through the door with her heart lodged in her throat.

What she found made her wish she were till at home listening to Giles going on about beasties and game plans. Jess was sprawled out on the floor with his shirt thrown open. That wasn't the surprise. The surprise was the women straddling his waist.

The women turned her head towards Dawn. Dawn didn't think the shock could be any bigger until the women smiled at her and she found herself staring at a familiar face. Kate's face.

The blood rushing in Dawn's ears made it very hard to hear everything that was going on, but she faintly heard the sound of footsteps racing up the stairs to inspect the cause of the noise. She heard Luke swear and felt Buffy put her arm around Dawn's shoulders as if to comfort her.

Dawn shrugged her off and turned and ran down the stairs so fast she was amazed she didn't fall. Her chest was aching so bad she felt like it might explode and she didn't want anyone to watch her break down.

Heads turned as Dawn ran past them and out to the road. She ran across the street and into the privacy of the gazebo, making it there before the ache in her chest caused her to start sobbing. She sank down onto the ground pulling her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her hands.

All she could think was "why?" Why was love so hard, so unbearable, and so hurtful? Love was supposed to be this amazing thing and it was few and far between the painful times. Her sobs began to calm themselves as she fought for control. She didn't want to be this girl. The girl's whose life came crashing down by a guy. But if felt like she was falling and the pain was pulling her in.

The sound of footsteps made her head snap up in response. Jess.

"Dawn," Jess said, so quietly it sounded like a breath. " It isn't what you think."

Dawn choked on a bitter laugh. " After everything and you use that clichéd movie ling. I don't even think it dignifies an answer. Give me credit, I'm not an idiot."

Slowly she got to her feet, as if by standing she wouldn't fell so small.

"I don't even know how to explain," Jess began. " I don't even know what happen—"

"Well that works out well," Dawn said. " Because I don't want to hear it. "

Dawn stepped out of the shadows willing herself to look him in the eye, so that he understood. Her heart felt like it was going to burst through her chest and she fought to take even breaths so that she didn't sob again.

"I know what I saw," Dawn said. " More importantly, I know what I felt. Did you know that I was coming to see if you were ok? After the other night I actually thought you might be mad at me and I was so scared that I had ruined everything. Ruined everything by not being ready to go to that place with you—how stupid does that sound? "

Her voice broke then and she swallowed the large lump in her throat as she fought for composure.

"Please don't cry Dawn," Jess said, as he made a move to reach for her.

Dawn stepped back, feeling the hot rush of tears cascade down her cheek. Even now she wanted him to hold her and tell her everything would be ok. It was then she realized what was happening. The one person in the world that could comfort her right now was the person who just broke her heart.

"I can't help it," she whispered. " It's what happens when you realize that the person you love—w..When the person you love more than anything doesn't love you back. And worst of all, when the person you love finds you—replaceable. I couldn't give you what you wanted and instead of loving me enough to wait you went for your uncle's girlfriend."

Saying the words out loud brought a new batch of tears. She fought to get the words out, but it hurt too much. " I love you Jess, but I don't trust you. I'm done."

"Dawn wait, please!" Jess said, grabbing onto the sleeve of her jacket. " You can't do this."

"I didn't," Dawn said, choking on the sobs that she couldn't repress any longer. " You did."

With that she turned and ran towards the park or anywhere she could be alone. It was weird, she remembered thinking, and how you could actually feel a heart breaking.

* * *

Teenage girl found dead from massive head explosion. News at 11.

That's what the papers would read when they found her body the next day. Rory moaned as she held her head in her hands. One too many knocks to the head and she was sure this would go in the medical dictionaries for sure. Any minute now there would be brain matter spread all over her Harvard posters and precious leather bound books.

Rory popped a couple more pills and swallowed half a bottle of water before she felt well enough to attempt a shower. She had been awake for a couple of hours now, and from the sight outside it was well into the afternoon. Though being unconscious didn't count much for rest in her opinion. She though that being a slayer would somehow give her magic healing powers or something. And maybe it did. Maybe without them, she'd be dead. Ah dead, that dirt nap actually sounded pretty good right now.

Light eyes. Dark hair. Chiseled face. There it was again. Larger than life every time she closed her eyes. The beautiful man who had added to her concussion. What a story she would have to tell her grandchildren.

Rory shuffled for the shower. She couldn't deny that even after a painful knock to the head courtesy or her "savior" she had every intention to find him. Once she'd showered of course.

Just being back in this park made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. The fact that it was still daylight didn't make her feel any better—oddly. She carried a stake in her back pocket just in case. Once you'd almost died you tend to not worry about how silly you might look.

Admittedly she just wanted to see him again. To make sure he wasn't a dream. If he was it was the most vivid dream by far. As she neared a clump of trees she shivered as she stepped into the shade to the other side. The park was pretty empty today, and she had to admit that it looked beautiful with all the snow untouched on the ground.

She stepped around a deep pit as she worked her way across the clearing. Just then she heard a yell behind her as a figure burst from the trees in her direction. She turned quickly.

"Son of a—"

She felt the impact against the side of her body as her body went airborne. She felt herself falling and waited for the impact.

The impact came fast and she crashed in a bone-jarring heap at the bottom. "Bitch," she moaned, before everything went black.

Buffy rounded the corner just in time to see Rory go flying through the air. She came to a sudden stop, skidding slightly on the snow covered ground. " What the hell did you do?"

The hooded figure lifted its head and smiled maliciously. Buffy's jaw dropped in surprise. " Kate?"

Kate turned and disappeared in a flash of green light. Buffy stood, rooted to the spot in shock before she remembered Rory. She found Rory lying at the bottom of the pit unconscious. Reaching into her cell phone she dialed.

"Houston, we have a problem."

* * *

"Make room, girl with a head injury coming through."

Buffy re-arranged the pillows on the couch so that Xander could lay Rory down. Buffy moved out of the way as Brooke came to the aid. Buffy stood back with her hands on her hips. "Lorelai is going to be pi—ssed." Buffy said under her breath, exaggerating her words in a low whistle.

"I don't think Rory's going to be so happy about it either," Brooke muttered. " She's already got some lumps back here. Looks like she's been in a fight recently."

"Those new slayers these days," Xander said. " Always in a hurry to beat the mamma slayer."

"You did not just refer to me as a mom," Buffy said, touching her hair with the tips of her fingers. " It's the hair isn't it? You guys don't be careful and I'm going to be developing a complex."

Within moments, Rory was sitting up and drinking a mug of coffee feeling better than she had in days.

Spike entered the room then. " What's with Lil' bit?"

"She got attacked," Buffy, answered, unable to actually turn and meet his eyes. The memory of what could have been still lingered. At least she remembered that—though she wished she didn't.

"By what?" Spike asked.

Buffy sighed. This was the part that was going to suck. " Well, I just caught the tail end of it. But it was Kate."

Spike's eyes widened with surprise. " Kate? It couldn't be. She wouldn't go around attacking teenagers."

"Those pregnancy hormones can be a bitch," Buffy said, trying to keep it light.

"She almost killed you blondie," Faith said, as she leaned against the door jam.

"What?" Buffy asked. In the surprise she had turned and was now looking him right in the eye.

Spike rolled his eyes. " She almost stabbed me last night," Spike said, as though it was a daily occurrence. " She looked pretty freaked out about it, but she stopped herself and then jumped out the window."

"The affect you have on women is inspiring," Xander said.

"At least I have women," Spike shot back.

Xander's eyes fell over Brooke at the opportune moment before looking at the floor.

"I have to go after her." Buffy said.

She had already grabbed her bag when Spike reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop. Instead it bought them in close contact and Buffy found her face growing hot as he stared at her intensely. "To talk to her right?" Spike asked. However the way he phrased the question came across more as a demand than a question.

"Yes, let's talk to the girl whose trying to kill people," Buffy added sarcastically.

"I now understand how I ended up in a coma," Faith said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked as she pulled her arm out of Spike's vice like grip.

"I'm just saying B, that she had a chance to kill blondie here and didn't. And she didn't kill Rory, she pushed her. Like you would in second grade. You don't kill someone for rough housing."

"Rough housing?" Buffy asked. What was going on here?

"Well, you get my drift. At least talk to her." Faith said.

"Before you start ganging up," Buffy said. " I wasn't going to kill her. I was just going to try to get her back here."

"I'll go," Spike said. " She knows me better than you and if she has gone off the handle then I can deal with it."

Buffy's jaw was set in defiance, but she nodded her head. " Fine. Call us if you need anything."

"Should we be telling Giles?" Xander asked.

"Leave the old and feeble out of it," Spike said. " I'll go see what's going on and we can fill in the English biscuit later."

Spike grabbed his leather coat and slipped it on. " Alright? Good. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Ah Spike?" Xander said.

"What is it now vision impaired?" Spike asked headedly. " You offering to go?"

Xander was going to enjoy this now. " No of course not. By all means, walk out into all that sunlight."

Spike paused. He hung his head. Then he turned to face them, puffing out his chest in a sign of being undefeated. " I'll go later. She'll still be questionably evil by then."

* * *

Once the sun went down, Spike left the house walking quickly in the direction of Kate's loft. He took a couple of steps before coming to a halt. He hung his head for the second time that night. " I'm really not in the mood for games, so why don't you just come out now before I have to come looking for you."

"I wasn't hiding."

Spike turned and watched as a blonde stepped from behind the large Elm tree. " Hi," she said.

"What do you want Ashley?"

"I'm leaving for awhile, maybe longer."

"You want to hug it out?" Spike asked sarcastically.

"Ah, I'll miss this," Ashley replied—equally as sarcastic. " Listen, I've done some things I'm proud of and some things I'm not. But I've done all these things for the greater good. The things that had to be done. But I've also been unattached from his world. Living in it, even for a short time, I realize there's a whole gray area that tugs at the consciousness."

"This is all very poetic, which on any other day I tend to appreciate. But I have a job to do, yeah? So could you get to your point, luv?"

"My point is. I don't agree with something I did. I removed some memories of yours because I thought it would give you focus—cause I was told to. But temptation and indecision are there for a reason."

Ashley took a step closer to Spike. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Spike asked in surprise. " Look luv, it's fine. I get it. I don't know why I'm back. I don't understand a lot of things. But I have more important things to worry about. Was that it?"

"No." Ashley shook her head. " I need to right a few things. "

"Like what?"

Ashley reached into her pocket and pulled out a small vial with bluish liquid. She took his hand, turned it palm up, and placed it delicately there before folding his fingers over it. She smiled up at him. "Make Buffy drink this," she caught the look on his face, and frowned. "She didn't get it reversed. She doesn't know you at all. She made me promise not to tell, but it's not right. I need to fix this. "

"That helps explain some things," Spike muttered. " Alright I will once I get back."

"One more thing."

"Like what?"

"Like," Ashley said, stepping closer. " I'm going to give you your memory back."

Spike saw a bright flash and then she was gone. Spike fell to the ground, his head spinning as though a hole had been opened and someone was pouring memory after memory into his head.

"Buffy," he gasped and then everything went black.

* * *

When Spike came too, his mind was still reeling. He began to walk without thinking. He knew he couldn't go back into that house and yet he felt like he needed to see Buffy. To see if all the things he was feeling were real. And then there was Kate. Kate. He needed to get to Kate.

He began to run. His feet pounded on the pavement as he ran towards the apartment. If he could breathe, he would be gasping for breathe around now as he charged up to the apartment. He didn't bother to knock as he crashed through the door, splintering it down the middle.

Kate turned from her vanity, looking more amused than surprised. She was sitting, wearing a long white dressing gown as she brushed out her hair. She looked right out of the past. If she had been on a killing spree she certainly looked calm about it.

"Hello Spike," she said, as she rose from her seat.

"Just taking a little inventory, you aren't by any chance killing or hoping to kill anyone are you?" Spike asked as he leaned against the doorway.

Kate smiled. " You aren't going to kiss the mother of your unborn child hello?"

"Not when that mother recently tried to scratch my back through the front with a pointy knife last night…no."

"Fine then." Kate said. " What was your question?"

"What's happened to you luv?" Spike asked, as he walked closer to her. He looked over her carefully as though there would be physical evidence of change on her.

"I had an epiphany," she said airily. She walked over to him placing a hand on the side of his face, stoking gently with the tips of her fingers. " Seems like you got something too. There was a black hole there before, that isn't there now."

"Have you been talking to Dru? Cause you're starting to talk a lot like her."

Kate removed her hand and took a step back. " You got your memory back. Congrats."

"What about this epiphany?"

"Everyone kept telling me that this baby was special and everyone was eager to protect it. Hell, even people were chosen to protect this unborn child. Then I decided that the best person to protect an unborn child was the mother. So I am. Protecting it."

"Where did you get the power?" Spike asked.

"I always believed in the kindness of strangers," Kate said with a laugh. " Although she wasn't a stranger, but it has a better ring."

Spike grabbed her roughly by the upper arms, shaking her. " You took dark magic?"

Kate's eyes went black and Spike felt himself thrown across the room. " I don't need any of you!" Kate shouted. " I don't need anyone. And I swear I will kill anything that comes near me. "

Spike stumbled to his feet. Grabbing a piece of broken wood from the door. Kate smiled, tilting her head to the side as she looked at his weapon of choice. " I believe that's your poison," Kate laughed.

"Still not gonna tickle," Spike said under his breath.

"So now you're going to kill me?" Kate asked. " But what about the prophecy of the baby being the savoir of this world." She laughed sarcastically.

"Better than being evil," Spike muttered, as his eye flitted unwillingly to the small lump that was his child.

Kate shrugged. " Well so much for trying to bring me around. I guess we go right for the fighting."

Spike charged at her, but Kate brought up her arm and knocked him into the opposite wall, cracking the foundation under his weight. Spike rolled up and got to his feet, wiping the blood from his face with the back of his hand.

Kate raised her hand again. This time Spike ducked and brought the piece of wood up and flung it as hard as he could. Kate cried out in pain as the wood lodged deep in her hand. Kate winced as she pulled it out, dropping it to the floor. She cradled her injured hand against her chest as the blood seeped through her white gown.

"We can help you Kate," Spike said. " Just come back with me. Please."

Kate's eyes went black as she walked towards him. " Don't you understand!?" She advanced on him quickly.

She threw a punch to his head and knocked him to the floor. Spike kicked out his leg and knocked her legs out from under her. She fell to the floor with a cry of surprise. Spike quickly rolled over her, pinning her down to the ground. He pulled a knife out of the band on his leg, holding it in front of her face. It was the same knife she'd nearly killed him with last night. " I believe this is your poison."

* * *

Buffy glanced at the clock for the millionth time that night, as her foot tapped impatiently on the floor.

"No more coffee for the Buffster," Xander said as he reached over and carefully took her coffee mug away from her.

"He should be back now," Buffy muttered. Xander gave her a questioning look. " Where's Dawn?"

"She's upstairs Buffy," Xander replied. " Stop worrying. Spike can take care of himself."

"Right, sure." Buffy said.

"Are you ok?" Xander asked.

"No Xander. Kate is out there either killing people or not killing people. And if it's the first than we're all in big trouble. They should be back by now."

"Maybe they're talking," Faith said. Xander and Buffy shot her a look. Faith smiled shrugging her shoulders. " Yeah, it felt weird even as I was saying it."

Buffy jumped to her feet. " Oh my god, Dawn! Where is she?"

Faith and Xander looked at each other and then looked back at Buffy. " She's upstairs B, Xander just told you that." Faith said.

"Right. Sorry. I'm just a little out of it," Buffy said, running her fingers through her hair as she started pacing. She looked between the two of them. " Would you stop looking at me like I'm insane!"

"Buffy, just sit down and try and relax," Xander said.

"I can't relax!!" Buffy shouted. " I'm going after them."

Before they could say anything, Buffy was gone.

* * *

He brought the knife down, the point over her heart. He applied a little pressure and the delicious smell of blood filled the air as a trickle ran down her chest. Kate gave a quick intake of breath as he eyes flew open. "William," she whispered, her eyes locking on his. Spike paused as a shock ran through him. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears as she looked at him holding his gaze before closing her eyes.

Spike raised the knife and lifted off her. " Come with me Kate, it'll be ok."

Kate slowly got to her feet, wrapping her hand in a towel. " You don't understand," she said quietly.

"You keep saying that," Spike said. " We'll figure everything out."

"No," Kate said, raising her head. A wicked half smile spread across her face. " You fool!" She raised her uninjured hand and Spike went flying across the room once more. She stood over him as his head lulled to the side, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to clear his vision. Kate smiled maliciously back at him.

" Kate doesn't live here anymore!"

* * *

Buffy wrapped her coat around her as the cold began to seep into her bones. She felt the hot flush of tears rise in her eyes and she wasn't sure if the wind was to blame or all the thoughts going on in her head.

She was losing it. She was officially losing it.

She began to walk quicker. Her head felt like it was going to implode with all the pressure and she saw bright flashes in front of her eyes like someone was flashing a flashlight in front of her eyes. She stumbled on the ice and reached out for a bench to hold onto.

She was drowning. Everything was spinning around her and she stumbled again, falling to the wet ground on all fours. She felt like she was going to throw up, but her stomach twisted painfully and nothing was coming up.

"Buffy? Buffy!"

She heard noise coming from somewhere but she couldn't make it out from the blood rushing in her ears. And just as quickly as it hit her, she felt a calm rush over her and she could hear and see again.

What was happening?

"Buffy?" came the voice again.

Lorelai hurried over to Buffy who was sprawled on the ground. She took Buffy's elbow and helped her to her feet. " Are you alright?"

"I don't know," Buffy said.

"Your friend Xander called and said Rory was at your house," Lorelai said. " Is she alright?"

"Who?"

"Rory."

Buffy shook her head. It was starting to throb again. " I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

Lorelai sighed. " Is Rory at your house?"

"I don't know," Buffy said. " Whose Rory? Do I know you?"

Lorelai frowned. " Ah, you don't remember me. Right. And you don't remember the other night. Convenient. Granted it was odd Buffy, but this is really immature. But fine, I'll play along if that's what you want. It didn't happen. You don't know me."

Buffy frowned. " I don't understand."

"Right," Lorelai said, rolling her eyes. " Gotcha. Bye."

Lorelai pushed past her and headed down the street. Buffy turned, leaning against the wall for support. Who was Xander? Who was Rory? Where the hell was she?

And more importantly, who was Buffy?

* * *

To be Continued…


	38. Revelations

**37**

Revelations

* * *

The town clock chimed 12 times. Midnight. The streets of Stars Hollow were like walking through a ghost town. The streets were covered with snow, untouched by the town's people. The clouds had hidden the moon from sigh casting the town into near darkness except for the soft orange glow of the street lamps.

It was the essence of comforting, homey even picturesque, that is if you knew where or who you were. That was not the case for Buffy who wondered the town feeling more alone that she'd ever felt—she guessed. For all she knew she was a serial killer out for her next victim.

Without thinking, Buffy turned into the park, instantly regretting it the moment the darkness closed around her. She had completely hidden herself away from the view of safety.

"Great," she muttered under her breath as she began to push the branches out of her way. And despite her feelings she pressed further into the park instead of running in the opposite direction.

Suddenly she wasn't as alone as she thought. Three men stepped out from the surrounding trees—and there was something seriously messed up with their faces.

"Slayer," one said in a low hiss. He was gigantic and most likely the leader judging by the way the other two seemed to fall in behind him.

Slayer? Buffy? Odd names. Maybe she was in a gang, she thought. Maybe this was her gang? However this weird feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that wasn't the case.

"Do…I …ah, know you?" Buffy asked.

The gigantic one smiled, revealing equally messed up teeth. " Probably not. But I know you."

"Well that makes one of us," Buffy grunted. The leader began to work slowly towards her as she began to slowly back away. She rested lightly on each foot, ready to turn and run when needed.

The leader charged at her.

On instinct, Buffy dropped down, side-swiping his legs out from under him. Adrenaline rushed through her as she rolled onto her back and sprang to her feet. Somehow her body was taking over, moving in ways she'd only seen in action movies.

She had the upper hand until on the vamps hit her from the side and she went flying into a tree. Pain shot through her body and she felt a couple of her ribs break—knocking the wind out of her.

The vamp hovered over her for a moment before kicking her hard in the ribs. Buffy cried out in pain as she fell onto her back clutching her side.

The vamps crowded around her kicking and punching her, their laughter filling the night air. Mustering all the strength she ignored the pain, pushed it aside and flicked out her legs knocking two of them into the trees.

The third grabbed her by the collar and lifted her to her feet. Buffy kicked his shin hard enough for him to drop her. Curling her fingers into a fist she punched him as hard as she could in the face. He groaned in pain as flesh met flesh, and fell to the ground. Buff lifted up her foot and stomped on his face, breaking his nose. A gush of blood spurted from his nose as his eyes rolled back.

Not caring to see if he was out, Buffy turned and ran, half running half limping she headed towards town. The two vamps came out from the trees and helped their leader to his feet. " That was the slayer?" one asked.

The leader nodded, trying to slow the gush of blood from his nose with the back of his hand. " Yeah," he grunted.

"Not very… I mean she didn't even try and kill us," the third one said disappointedly.

"Maybe she's off her game," the second one suggested.

All three of them stared in the direction where Buffy had run off, in silence. The second vamp cleared his throat. " So I saw a bunch of teenagers over by Miller's Pond."

"Really?" The leader asked. The vampire nodded. " Well, let's go then, we're burning moonlight."

Turning, the three vampires walked off towards Miller's Pond hoping to salvage this disappointing night.

* * *

Knock. Knock.

Dawn reached over and turned up the volume on her stereo to drown out the knocking. She'd made it clear she didn't want to be disturbed, so whoever was out there could knock as loud or as long as they wanted—she could care less.

The door opened.

However, locking the door might have been a more productive way in keeping people out. Dawn looked up from her journal, hoping that her look was a warning.

Xander stepped into the room closing the door softly behind him. " Hey Dawnie," Xander said, speaking so softly Dawn could barely hear him.

"I want to be alone," Dawn, said.

"And I want a million bucks—doesn't mean it will be good for me," Xander said seriously.

"How would a million dollars be bad for you?" Dawn asked.

Xander hesitated. " Well…because…it's," he laughed, holding up his hands in defeat. " I got nothing. Bad analogy."

Dawn turned her focus back on her journal, hoping he would get the hint and leave. She understood he wanted to talk to her and see if she was ok but that's why she'd asked to be left alone—so she didn't have to get all bitchy on them when they came to her.

If they couldn't respect her wishes she wasn't going to be able to hold her tongue. Xander walked over to her stereo and turned it down.

"Country music huh?" Xander asked.

Dawn shrugged, not bothering to meet his eyes. " It's the music of pain."

Xander smiled at her down turned face. " Yea, I remember saying something like that myself once."

"I know," Dawn, said quietly. " I got the idea from you."

Xander felt a tug at his heart when he heard the pain in her voice. The pain, the sadness and the look on her face just reminded him of how she was growing up. She wasn't little Dawnie anymore, the girl whose biggest worry was where to move the slumber party, school or the crush she used to have on him.

She was grown up and he'd missed so much of it. Somewhere in the span of less than a year the change had happened. Ever since the battle in Sunnydale everyone had drifted. In Rome they had all been too busy finding and training all the potentials turned slayers.

The first time they'd all been together for more than a day since Sunnydale had been when they arrived in Stars Hollow. Maybe by then they had all become used to being apart. It was almost as through they had forgotten how to live together, to just exist in each other's space anymore.

The saddest thing was that it was so subtle he was only noticing now. But Dawn was still only 18; she shouldn't have had to be alone so soon. Soon she would graduate and probably go off to some college and the space between them would only widen.

He sat on the edge of her bed gesturing to her journal. " Whatcha doin'''?" He knew it sounded lame the moment he said it, but now that he was aware of the space between them he was grasping at straws.

Dawn closed the journal with a smack and pushed herself up a sitting position. "What can I say? Your boyfriend cheating on you and breaking your heart felt like a dear diary moment," she looked down at her leather bound journal and tossed it to the side. " Can't focus enough anyway. Putting it into words just….it--."

"Makes it real," Xander said, finishing her thought with a complete understanding.

"Yea," Dawn said, her voice almost a whisper as she nodded her head.

There was a moment of silence where each didn't know what to say. Dawn picked at imaginary lint of her comforter while Xander looked around her room. There was a framed picture of Dawn and Jess on the floor, the glass cracked up the middle, which distorted the image beneath it.

"Dawn," Xander began. " Spike came back from his visit with Kate."

Xander saw Dawn flinch at the mention of Kate's name but continued on. " It looks like Kate's not playing for the good guys anymore. We're not sure exactly how. Spike's pretty beat up which might make you feel better just to look at him (Dawn frowned) anyway—Kate said something about getting some dark magic to help her protect her own baby. Which seems to have made her go, well, evil."

"Great," Dawn muttered. " Maybe Willow and her can get together and form a club."

The moment she said it, she felt an inward shutter. " I'm sorry," she said quietly," I didn't mean that. I wouldn't lump Willow in with that home wrecker."

"I don't think you're getting the bigger picture here," Xander said.

Dawn looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. " Like what?"

"Kate's evil," Xander repeated with a little more emphasis on the word 'evil'. " Not only is she evil but she seems to be sexually charged if you consider Spike and Luke and she's into messing with people. Then all of a sudden she happens to be caught with Jess who she's never so much as talked to before?"

"Are you kidding me?" Dawn exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "You're on his side?!"

"Hey, I'm backing up, hands in the air, applying the breaks. I'm not 'on his side' Dawn, I'm just pointing out another option and I'm asking if you really saw what you think you saw."

"I know what I saw," Dawn insisted. " There was a crash and she was straddling him."

"And what did he say?" Xander asked.

"The part where I let him explain?" Dawn asked. " I didn't exactly stick around to hear that part."

Suddenly the anger ebbed away and she just looked defeated.

She ran her hands over her face and through her hair. "I don't know Xander. Maybe it's not what I thought. But if I was convinced that he did it, what does that say about us?"

"That you're 18 years old and both in a new relationship? Actually, the 18-year-old part doesn't even matter—the new relationship part covers a number of irrational thoughts. But maybe you want it to go wrong subconsciously to prove to yourself that it was too good to be true."

"Like it's easier to believe in the bad than it is in the good?" Dawn asked.

"Something like that."

Dawn paused. " That's ridiculous!"

Xander shrugged. " It's a theory."

Dawn sighed. " It's just too hard Xander. I can't stand this feeling of knowing that it could happen again and again and each time a little bit worse than the last."

"Sometimes you have to take that risk when you love someone."

"I don't wanna," Dawn, said in a little girl voice so full of vulnerability it almost broke his heart.

Xander went to give her a hug but Dawn shrank away. " If you hug me, I might start to cry."

Thinking of what he'd just said, he folded her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin as he rubbed her back. "I'll take that risk."

Dawn closed her eyes, feeling the walls start to come down in the comfort he offered her.

"You're a beautiful girl Dawn. You're sweet and loving and I hate to see you in this much pain. I just want you to be happy."

His words flowed over her until she felt that familiar stinging behind her eyes. She bit her lip and tried to take deep, controlled breaths as not to cry. She didn't want to breakdown again, but every time she thought about Jess she felt like her world had crashed down around her feet.

"You'll be okay Dawn. Each day it gets a little better until it won't hurt so badly. You'll be ok."

And just like that, she let go, and cried.

* * *

Buffy stared at her reflection in the cracked and rusted mirror she'd found in an abandoned building at the edge of town. It was weird to look at your reflection and be seeing what you look like for the first time. Or a glimpse, since she was currently covered in bruises and blood. Her hair was matted to her forehead with dried blood.

She coughed—choked more or less—into her sleeve. She knew the metallic taste of blood before she found the evidence on her sleeve.

For some reason she was still able to remain conscious, even after a beating that should have killed her. Her instincts were telling her to keep going, but her body had a mind of it's own.

She knew she must have some serious internal injuries and every step hurt too much to go on. Sliding down the wall, she laid down on some tarp. The tears she'd kept at bay, started to run down her face. She was hurt, alone, lost and had no memory of who she was. What if her family never found her? What if she had no family?

She didn't want to die alone here in an abandoned building where no one would find her. Squeezing her eyes shut she prayed for help. Breathing was becoming an issue as she lungs filled with blood. Her vision was becoming blurred around the edges and peace was just beyond her, pulling her into it.

She knew that peace meant death that letting go of the pain meant letting go of life. It was hard but she had to feel the pain to know she was alive. It was getting harder, she was getting weaker and the blackness was beckoning her on.

Her eyes fluttered closed, as her breathing became ragged. The pain was ebbing away and she felt like she was floating just away from her body. She had no doubts—whoever she was, whatever she'd been—she was dying.

* * *

Faith knocked on Dawn's bedroom door but didn't wait to be invited before going inside. She found Xander staring back at her, with his finger pressed against his lips in the universal gesture for silence. Faith just rolled her eyes as she came towards the bed. Dawn had cried herself asleep on Xander's shoulder and he didn't want to wake her.

"Sorry to interrupt the comfort-a-thon," Faith said, her voice oozing sarcasm. " But we have a problem."

"Awww….you jealous Faith. You want a little comfort" Xander joked as he held his free arm out.

Faith swatted his hand away. " That's not my idea of comfort Harris, but then again, you know that."

"Could you guys at least wait till I'm out of the bed before you start the sex games?" Dawn muttered, sleepily as she pushed herself up into the sitting position.

"We weren't….we aren't going to…she's joking," Xander stammered.

Dawn didn't notice his discomfort as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and stretched her tired muscles. Sleep was a nice reprieve from thinking of Jess, but the moment she woke up it all came flooding back—the knowledge that Jess was no longer her boyfriend.

"What's the problem?" Xander asked Faith.

"Buffy didn't come back," Faith replied.

"That's not usually a problem," Xander said. " She doesn't know about Spike's run in with Kate. She probably found Kate's place empty, trashed and went looking for her."

"If she even remembers who Kate is!" Faith responded. Dawn and Xander game her looks of confusion. "That's what I'm trying to tell you—Lorelai ran into B and said that she was acting strange, saying she didn't remember who she was. Lorelai thought she was faking it, but we all know B hadn't been working with a full load lately."

"So this memory thing has finally spread. " Xander said. " She has no idea who she is and she's out there alone."

"Lorelai saw her head towards the park," Faith added.

"The park?" Dawn said. " In the dark. With the vampires."

Xander gave a low whistle. " K, now I'm freaked."

"Which begs the question," Faith said. " If a slayers lost in the forest and has no memory, does she still know how to fight?"

* * *

Willow was standing in a large white room in front of a woman who was also dressed completely in white. Having locked herself in her room for the past couple of days, the bright lights hurt her eyes.

"Why have you called on me?" Willow asked. She had a fear that she was about to be punished for her conduct on the near killing on New Years.

"You don't know?" The woman asked.

Willow shook her head. She knew with no uncertainty what this was about, but feared saying so in case it gave the woman a better idea.

"You know who I am?" The woman asked.

"I have an idea," Willow said. " I thought I saw you once before."

The woman nodded. " You did. Do you remember the time?"

Willow nodded. " When I became a goddess—when, I mean when I thought I had become one. When all the potentials became slayers."

"That was I," she said. " However, it was you that made yourself a goddess Willow, by showing great power. You used good magic to create great change."

"B…but I…I failed," Willow said.

"You failed yourself Willow, that is true," the woman agreed. " When you took the life of a Guardian, that was not your failure."

Willow was confused. " It wasn't--."

"No. You failed when you locked yourself away. You failed when you said your power was evil, when you doubted who you are. You were under a spell that sucked your soul away, and you killed Ashley with goddess power, not evil. Had you done so, Ashley would be dead."

"But I saw myself. I had the black hair, I…I looked like I did before."

"You saw what you wanted to see Willow," the woman said, her voice softer now. " Sadly, it's easier for you to believe the worst in yourself than the best."

Willow stared at the floor—what was the point of this punishment? Or tell her the things she already knew?

"What is my punishment?" Willow asked.

"I'm not here to punish you," she replied. " You are doing a nice job of that yourself. But I'm not here to coddle you either. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself."

Willow's head instantly shot up, ready to defend herself. " Feeling sorry for myself? I killed my girlfriend without a thought—my ex-girlfriend actually—either way I killed her!"

"You did and yet she's alive to tell the tale," the woman said. " She forgave you completely and tried to get you to accept the fact of who you are—a goddess. And yet you hide away while the threat grows closer and your friends in danger. If you were truly evil you wouldn't carry guilt for your actions, would you? If you really wanted to atone for your mistake you would be trying to help do good anyway you could, and yet…" she let the thought trail off. She knew Willow had already got the point.

Willow let that information sink it. " I understand," she said quietly.

" Making a mistake makes you human Willow. What you do afterwards defines who you are. You have great power and with that come great responsibility. You are a goddess Willow so start acting like one. If you are afraid to lose control Willow then don't. Have faith."

"I'll try," Willow said. " I am trying."

"You'll never be a goddess, a true goddess until you embrace it. So stop feeling sorry for yourself, get up and get in this fight. And—shower. Showering would be beneficial."

"Alright," Willow said, with a roll of her eyes. She supposed showering would be a good idea.

" Any pointers on how to fight this big bad?"

The woman smiled. "That's the girl I remember."

Silence.

"No seriously—do you have any pointers?" Willow asked. She shrugged her shoulders. " We've got nada."

* * *

After a long and hot shower, Dawn dressed and pulled her hair into a messy bun and decided to forego the make-up. With periods of intense crying she was wasting her hard earned money on mascara.

After the conversation with Faith and Xander, all her attention was now on Buffy, which was much needed relief for the brain. Unless, of course, Buffy was in trouble. Which based on past experience was highly likely. Once dressed and ready, she headed to the one person who could help.

She knocked and waited for the reply. She knocked again before cracking the door open. " Spike?"

The room was pitch black, but the light from the hallway cast enough of a glow for her to spot the figure lying on the bed. Dawn crept closer. Spike appeared to be asleep. As Dawn stepped forward she saw the bruises over her face. There was dried blood over his face and large swollen areas that made him almost unrecognizable. The hair alone was always a sure sign it was Spike.

"I don't think I invited you nibblet," Spike muttered between swollen lips.

Just looking at him made Dawn wince. " I'm just wacky that way I guess," she joked. Spike sat up on his bed giving Dawn a complete view of the damage. " Oh god Spike—she…. she was seriously trying to kill you."

"If she wanted me dead, she'd have done it. This will heal in no time, yah? Don't worry about it."

"Spike," Dawn began, wondering if she should just leave him out of it. Be he deserved to know. "Buffy hasn't come back yet and we're pretty sure she has lost her memory completely."

Spike, somehow, managed to open his eyes even wider and then swore using some kind of English phrasing Dawn didn't understand. Instinctively he reached for his leather coat and felt the small vial deep in one of the pockets—unbroken—thankfully.

He had completely forgot about giving the potion to Buffy. He moaned as he pushed himself up into the sitting position.

"Don't worry nibblet, I'll go find her," Spike said, gripping her shoulder for support as he got to his feet.

"The sun's going to be up soon," Dawn reminded him.

"I'll stay close to the tunnels," Spike assured her. Dawn followed behind him as he limped out of the room. Even with his romantic feelings for Buffy wiped clean, Spike was still ready to rescue her if she needed it.

As messed up as the Summer's relationships were, Dawn had hope that Buffy would find someone who made her happy. With Angel's unknown whereabouts—was he alive, was he dead?—Dawn knew Buffy mourned him. Dawn used to think her sister's relationship with both vampires had been so intense with its forbidden love and yet it had always ended in pain. And here was Dawn who had had a normal boyfriend and still got burned. When it came to love she was starting to think they were both doomed.

Spike threw his coat on and headed downstairs where Xander, Faith and Giles were sitting about the table, which was piled high with volumes and volumes of old books. Giles looked up from the thickest book Dawn had ever seen and regarded them with interest. It must have looked suspicious; one badly beaten vampire and Dawn armed with a big blanket.

Xander looked up from his book and saw the blanket. " You planning on a picnic?"

"Spike's going to look for Buffy," Dawn said.

"You do realize the sun will be up any minute," Faith said.

Dawn held up the blanket. "He can use this to get from the sewers to any buildings."

"Is that really a good idea?" Faith asked.

"It's better than sitting on your asses, reading musty old books that won't tell you diddly," Spike said in his—oh so eloquent way.

"We're looking for a counter spell to return Buffy's memory," Xander said.

"We must try and figure out what caused the loss of memory," Giles said. " We have to figure out how the demon did it and with what."

"Well, you can stop looking," Spike said. " It wasn't a demon. It was Ashley. Buffy never got the spell reversed and Ashley warned her that it could have side effects."

"How do you--." Giles began.

Spike cut him off. " Ashley told me herself. Last night. Buffy went with her to get it reversed but changed her mind. Figured it was easier to deal without thoughts of me dancing in her head."

"I can understand that," Xander mumbled.

Spike shot him a withering look.

"So we're looking for a typical memory spell," Giles said. " Well, that is encouraging to say the least."

"Got it," Spike said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a vial of the potion Ashley had given him. " She gave it to me last night but with me being unconscious and all."

"So, no more reading?" Faith said with relief.

Xander rolled his eyes. " You weren't even researching!"

"Was—so!" Faith said.

Xander pushed her book out of her hands, which knocked the magazine Faith had been hiding out of her hands. Dawn bent over and retrieved the fallen magazine. " Guns N' Ammo?"

Faith shrugged, grabbing the magazine out of her hands. " I like to be up to date geez."

"You're scary on so many levels," Xander said in his complete dead pan way.

"As fun as this isn't," Spike said, taking the blanket from Dawn. " I'm going to find Buffy."

"We'll help!" Xander said, getting to his feet.

"I suggest you help me with more researching," Giles said. " Call here if you find her." He spoke the last part to Spike.

"But B is in trouble," Faith said in an overly dramatic breathy voice. " We have to go find her! She could be—in trouble."

"Very realistic," Xander muttered under his breathe.

"By all means go," Giles said. " Spike could find her in no time, but let's send everyone out so that Buffy can return home to absolutely no information about this evil guy who you only describe as (he looked down at a sheet of paper) robey deep voice guy. While he comes and kills us all, destroys the world, all because you don't feel like reading!"

Everyone went silent for several seconds. " Now that was realistic," Xander whispered.

"Not at all scary," Faith whispered back, as they both slowly moved to sit in their seats, while keeping their eyes on Giles the whole time, half expecting him to blow up again.

"Stay out of the sun," Dawn said to Spike. " Please just stay where you are once the sun comes up. Take my cell." She handed him the cell phone.

"The blanket will do me fine nibblet," Spike said, squeezing her shoulder.

"It's not safe," Dawn, insisted.

"Neither is Buffy being out there." Which, to Dawn, meant he was promising to bring her sister home even if he didn't make it.

"I can help."

The 5 of them looked up to see Willow standing in the doorway. She was clean, showered and looking better than she had in days.

"How are you feeling?" Giles asked her.

"Better," Willow replied. " I'm going to see Ms. Patty. I've already called her. I thought we'd go over a plan for the town when this fight comes to a head."

"Sounds wise," Giles said with a reassuring smile. He was inwardly doing a happy dance, as he crossed that off his list. As important as it was he didn't feel like being around that woman anymore than he had to be.

"Watcher's pet," Xander muttered under his breathe.

Willow smiled and then turned to Spike as she held out her hand. " Take my hand."

Spike opened his mouth to give a typical sarcastic comment, but the serious look in her eyes stopped him and he did as she asked, slipping his hand into hers. Willow took a breath and began to speak softly as she faced him, pressing her open hand over his heart. There was small sliver of light between her palm and his chest, and a weird tingly feeling that seemed to vibrate just under the surface of his skin.

Moments later she opened her eyes and took a step back. " All done."

Spike raised his eyebrow in suspicion. " You wanted a good feel, all you had to do was ask Red."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Willow said. " Now go."

Spike went to grab the blanket. " You won't need that." Willow said. " You'll be fine for 12 hours."

"I…I can go into the sunlight?" Spike asked.

"Think of it as really good sunscreen for the undead," Willow said. " For 12 hours and no bursting into flames, I promise."

That thought to a vampire was like giving a kid an endless supply of candy, and it was evident to all around him that he was completely stunned and thrilled at the same time.

"I never thought I would be happy for the sun to rise," Spike said. Dawn laughed, she'd never seen Spike so close to giddy before.

And the biggest surprise was when Spike threw his arms around Willow and hugged her tightly.

Willow laughed for the first time in days and it felt good. " It's just for 12 hours."

"Doesn't matter," Spike muttered against her hair.

Willow hugged him back. " Ah…oxygen becoming an issue."

"Right, sorry," Spike muttered, as he let her go. He looked around at the rest of them, tossed the blanket, and then was out the door before anyone could say anything.

Faith turned to Xander. " You know if she got picked up or on a bus she could be anywhere," Faith said. She shrugged when she saw the look of doubt on his face. " Worse case scenario."

"Worse case scenario is if she ran into some undead Americans," Xander said. " But sure, yeah, mass transportation--scary."

* * *

When Giles wasn't looking, Dawn crept out of the house. She knew Giles would be furious if he realized Dawn had gone out with all the threats out there. But the sun would be up soon enough, and she couldn't sit around waiting. If the shoe were on the other foot, Buffy would come looking for her.

She grabbed a stake and then strapped a dagger to her calf (something she had 'borrowed' from Faith) just to be safe. That and it looked cool. Instinctively, she headed towards the park. Rory had been attacked there the other day and supposedly that is where the vampires hid—not that she wanted to meet any vamps—but Buffy might have gone in there. She didn't want to think about Buffy meeting one of the vamps, but is she was in trouble Dawn had to find out.

Dawn took a deep breath, said a prayer and then entered the park holding the stake close to her chest. The only sound she heard was the crunching of snow and twigs under her feet. She tried to remember everything Buffy had taught her, everything she'd seen—and then prayed she didn't have to use any of it.

Every sound whether it was snapping twigs, the wind or melting snow falling from the branches spurred her imagination into over drive. Every sound made her heart feel like it was going to burst out of her chest and like someone had tossed icy water over her head. But on the positive side maybe if she saved Buffy's life, Buffy would finally let her have that tattoo she always wanted.

The moment she hit the clearing by Miller's pond she breathed a sigh of relief. At least she could see from all sides of her now. She took a couple of steps through the deep snow, her teeth chattering as the cold seeped through the denim.

There was a pronounced snap from behind her and she spun around so fast, she tripped and landed on her ass in the pile of snow. Her biggest concern were the group of vampires that had just stepped from the shadows of the trees.

"Well that can't be good," she muttered. She then realized she'd dropped her stake in the fall. She began to dig through the snow frantically trying to find it. It was then she remembered her dagger, she tried pulling her pant leg but it was so wet the fabric wouldn't move properly.

With a start she saw a foot come into view and her eyes traveled the leg to the face of the vampire staring down at her. He looked huge, even if she was on the ground, and his nose looked like it had been recently broken.

"Wouldn't happen to have a stake on you?" Dawn said, her voice trembling slightly. At least she'd remembered the jokes in the face of danger move Buffy had perfected.

The vampires smiled, but that faded as he grabbed a hold of Dawn's collar and yanked her to her feet. " No time to eat now," he said, " guess you'll be coming with us."

He pushed Dawn in front of him and told her to start walking. She took a couple of steps, her mind reeling as she tried to come up with a plan. She needed to get her hand on that dagger. She took a couple more steps and then stumbled and fell. The vampire grabbed her by the back of the neck and yanked her to her feet.

His fingers had dug in so deep she knew there would be finger sized bruises on the side of her neck. He let go and she spun around, slashing the knife through the air, catching him on the side of his face. He ended out in pain as he covered his face with his hand.

"Not the face!!" he screamed comically as he palmed his cheek with his hand. "You're going to pay for that!"

"Maybe," Dawn said as she held up the bloody knife. " But if I get a couple of you first I'll consider it a good day."

The three vamps moved in closer and Dawn felt her hand start to tremble.

"You think you're going to hurt us with that piece of metal?" one of the vamps asked before the three of them started laughing.

"We just fought the slayer and survived, I don't think you have a shot," the second vamp said.

Dawn felt the blood in her veins grow cold. Slayer? " You fought the slayer?"

The leader nodded.

"Did she get away?" Dawn asked. "Is…is she--?"

"Dead?" the vamp finished. "You think we'd let the slayer walk?"

Dawn started to shake, suddenly the cold was overpowering and she felt like she'd never be warm again. Buffy was dead.

"She'll be dead before long," the third vamp sniggered. The second vamp hit him upside the head, cursing under his breath. Clearly he had just damaged their reputation. But Dawn inwardly sighed with relief. Buffy wasn't dead. She was injured but still alive. Soon spike would find her and then everything would be ok. Or maybe that was the childish innocence coming out to play again.

Dawn's jaw set in defiance as, without a word, she pushed her thumb down and a six-inch stake shot out the top of the dagger. One of the vamps charged her. Dawn used his weight to propel them backwards as she dipped her knees and rolled with him. Kicking off the ground they did a 180, with Dawn landing on top of him, straddling his chest. She plunged the stake down, using her whole upper body to puncture the rib cage.

She raised her head slowly, fixing her eyes on them as she gave them her most menacing stare. It must have worked because they look frightened and practically stumbled over each other as they turned to run.

Dawn broke into a smile as she got to her feet. " Yes!" she shouted. " You better run!" She pumped her fist into the air, laughing loudly. " Whose the bad ass! Who's the--." She turned and bumped into what felt like a brick wall and landed once more on her ass.

She found herself looking at a marble statue, well not really, but he could have been. He was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen.

"Who are you?" she asked, when she really wanted to ask him if he wanted to make out. She knew she wasn't supposed to talk to strange guys who showed up in parks but she'd make an exception.

"Someone who just saved you it would seem," he said.

He held out his hand and Dawn slipped her hand inside. The moment their fingers touched an electric shock went through Dawn and her lips parted in surprise. His fingers closed over hers and pulled her to her feet. Dawn stumbled and he had to steady her. She looked down at her hand in his and felt the warmth spread through her body.

"You're pretty," she mumbled quietly and accidentally. " Sure of yourself there buddy," she finished lamely. He dropped her hand and gave her a lazy half smile that made her heart jump into her throat.

"Are you one of the good guys?" Dawn asked.

"Not exactly," he replied.

"Well the vampires were scared of you," Dawn said gesturing to where the vampires had stood.

"Most are,' he replied just as evenly. " Doesn't make me good."

Dawn tightened her grip on the dagger. He smiled as he leaned forward. " If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead before you took your next breath."

Dawn took a deep intake of breath, in case it was the last one she ever breathed. "That's intense," she said trying to see if the guy would crack a smile—some sign that he wasn't going to do just that.

"Is there a reason you're here?" Dawn asked, trying to get him talking. The sun was going to be up any minute. If he were a vampire he would take off any minute now.

"Chaos attracts me," he said with an easy shrug.

"Like a spectator sport?" Dawn asked. " Or as a player?"

"You have a lot of questions," he stated. His voice was light and she didn't hear irritation that might suggest he'd hurt her.

"It's a flaw," Dawn replied. " I'm looking for my sister, I really need to find her."

"Tiny, blond, long hair?" he asked. " Name of Buffy."

"How did you know that?" Dawn asked.

"Saw her last night, she fought some vamps then took off running," he replied. " Not very slayer like."

"She has…some issues," Dawn replied. "But she was ok, right? She got away?"

"She got away, but I wouldn't say she was ok."

"What did you do?" Dawn said, taking a step forward. She felt a blast of wind against her face so strong she closed her eyes as pellets of ice hit her face. A split second later and it was gone and so was he. So was the dagger.

"I warned you," came a voice from behind her.

Dawn spun around and found him standing there admiring the dagger. " B…but how?" she stammered. She had barely blinked.

"I told you," he said.

"What are you here for?" Dawn asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm here for you."

Dawn blinked. Her heart was in her throat as she replied. " Umm…what?"

"Are you going to do it or what?" came a voice from behind her.

Dawn turned, her eyes widening in surprise. " Jenn?"

Jenn walked towards them, a smile of her face. The moment the guy looked at her, her smile faded. "Long time no see Lynx."

Lynx smiled. " You could have called."

Jenn smiled. " You misunderstand. That wasn't a complaint."

"Ouch," he replied, even though he looked indifferent to her comment.

" I can see you guys have stuff to sort out," Dawn said. " So I'm just going to go." She began to back away from them slowly, laughing nervously.

"I can't let you Dawn," Jenn. " I'm sorry, but you're not going anywhere."

* * *

Even though Spike wanted to walk through the streets basked in sunlight, he had other things to do. The sun was almost up and he had been following Buffy's scent for about 20 minutes. It had taken him to the park where he'd seen blood on the snow. It had been hers. But he knew she got away alive cause the scent was taking him to the other side of town.

He neared the building where her scent was the strongest. Stepping over broken furniture he walked up the stairs. Minutes later the sun would rise and he found himself in a dark, dank building. Typical.

Once upstairs he began to walk softly as the wood under his feet felt like they were going to snap at any minute. As he turned the corner he stepped into a small dark room. There was paint peeling off the walls, broken overturned furniture and bits of debris everywhere.

He stepped through the debris to the far corner of the room. There he found Buffy. He fell to his knees beside her and carefully lifted her upper body and held her again his chest, almost cradling her. She moaned quietly as her eyelids began to flutter. " Am I dead?" she asked lazily, her eyes unfocused.

Spike chuckled. " Not this time."

His voice convinced her she was still alive and her eyes focused on his as her whole body tensed. She began to struggle, but he held on tightly.

"Who are you?!" Buffy shouted in a panic.

"It wouldn't matter if I told you Buffy, you wouldn't know me," he answered.

"Y…you know that I don't know?" Buffy asked, her words coming out in a ramble.

"Yea, but I can fix it," Spike said. He pulled out the vial and held it up for her.

"You want me to drink that?" Buffy asked skeptically.

"It'll bring your memory back," Spike assured her.

"Do I trust you? I…I mean, do I normally trust you?" she asked softly.

Spike smiled sardonically. " That was always the question."

Buffy frowned. " W…what?"

"What do you think?" Spike asked.

"Honestly?" Buffy asked.

Spike nodded.

"I think you look like a member of a Billy Idol tribute band," Buffy smiled. " But I think I trust you. Or I'm too confused to care at this point."

Spike smiled as he handed her the vial. She eyed it cautiously. Spike shrugged. " If I were going to hurt you would I give you the option to drink it?"

"No, unless you were smart and tried rationalizing with me first."

Spike shrugged again. " Fine, walk around with no memory."

"Is that like magic or something?" she asked. The liquid didn't look like anything she'd ever seen before.

"Something like that," Spike said.

"That…magic isn't real."

"Judging by those nasty bruises, I'd say you've seen a lot you can't explain tonight."

Her mind flashed back to those men in the park. This whole night was crazy. One minute she was pretty sure she was dying and then a couple of hours later she felt fine. It wasn't possible.

She lifted it. " Cheers." And then she shot it back. She sputtered as the liquid blazed a fiery trail down her throat. It felt like fireworks had lighted up the room as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Buffy? Buffy?" Spike said, but it sounded like it was coming from far away.

She felt like her skull was being split open while visions floated by her closed eyelids. And as quickly as it had all began, it was over.

Buffy's body went limp. " Buffy, did it work?"

"Spike?" She whispered.

"That's me." He said.

Buffy narrowed his eyes as she studied him and then they widened as she realized what she had done. " Oh god, I've been so stupid." She said, her voice cracking under all the emotion. Her eyes instantly filled with tears.

She pulled herself upright, taking herself out of Spike's arms. Spike put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. " We've all done stupid things."

"I just couldn't handle being the only one of us to carry our past anymore."

Spike leaned forward and tilted her head back to look at him. " You aren't the only one anymore."

Buffy looked him in the eye trying to see if he was telling the truth. " Prove it."

"I've seen the best and worst of you and I can see with absolute clarity exactly who you are. " Spike answered. As he finished he traced the pad of his thumb over the line of her jaw. " You're a hell of a woman."

Buffy smiled, her eyes watering. " You remember."

"And so do you,' he responded with a smile.

"I missed you," she said softly. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his softly.

Spike pressed her closer as he cupped the back of her head. He pushed her lips open with the tip of his tongue, deepening the kiss. Buffy sighed softly as she placed one hand against his chest and let herself enjoy the kiss, no matter how impossible this entire situation was. For now, it was just them.

When the kiss ended, Spike pulled back hesitantly. " We should get you home."

Buffy's smile faltered. Home. Home was where reality lived—where she'd have to face everyone. She didn't want to go home, not yet. She looked out the window, trying to think of an excuse that kept her here a little longer.

"The suns up," she said. " We can't go out there without you bursting into flames."

"Oh, I--."

"And honestly, I can't face that yet," Buffy said. "We'll wait."

Spike opened his mouth to tell her about the spell, but the look on her face made him stop. " You're right, we'll wait." She smiled as she laid her head against his chest, her arms around his waist. " Until the suns gone."

Buffy awoke a couple of hours later, still entwined together. Spike was still asleep but began to awaken when Buffy stirred.

"Hi," she said shyly as she sat up. She touched her hair lightly. " My hair must look horrible."

"You look great," Spike said. "Dried blood has always been a very fetching look on a woman."

Buffy punched his arm playfully. "Did you just say the word fetching?"

'I'm English, I'm allowed to say words like fetching and still sound charming."

Buffy smiled, which turned into a laugh. She touched the hair that was matted to her forehead with dried blood and winced. " Not good."

Buffy had snuck out earlier to get some water and she reached for a bottle now. She shrugged out of her shirt, still wearing a camisole beneath it, and dipped her shirt into the water. She dabbed at the closed wound, wincing slightly.

"Here," spike said, taking the shirt off her.

He leaned forward and gently began t o wipe the blood off of her forehead. Buffy looked up at him through her lashes, smiling, as his face became very serious as he worked. He ran the fabric down the side of her neck, ridding her of all the blood. He slid down the straps of her camisole and cleaned off her shoulders.

Buffy closed her eyes as he worked down the sides of her arms. The feeling of the small circular motions felt like a mini massage. The air felt crisp against the moist patches of skin left behind as he worked lower.

He lifted the hem of her shirt, gently rubbing across her stomach. After the beating she'd taken every soft touch felt soothing and refreshing. As she grew more aware of the intimacy between them, each soft touch became a caress. Heat began to spread though her body and she was so aware of it right through to the tips of her fingers and toes.

She couldn't help the soft sigh that came from her parted lips of see the reaction it caused in Spike. Their relationship had been intense for lack of a better world. Half the time they'd hated each other and then hated themselves for not hating each other.

And then when they seemed to be finding some kind of solace, he'd gone and saved the world killing himself in the process. Something she could identify with, sure, but it was hard. Losing him had been hard. And then he was back, just like that, no explanation. And they hadn't been able to have a joyous—or incredibly awkward reunion.

With his memory wiped of any fuzzy feelings he was like a stranger and she'd felt more alone than when he was dead. Then there was Kate. Kate and his baby. Buffy knew that outside these dank walls they would have to go back to complicated. Just for a couple of hours she wanted simple.

She placed her hand over his, stilling his movements. Spike's eyes burned into hers, she met them with her own. Maybe he had the same feelings, she couldn't be sure. But if he did, then he would stop her.

She cupped his face with the palm of her hand and drew him closer. Their lips met softly at first but it quickly grew deeper and more heated a they wrapped their arms around each other. Spike gently eased Buffy down onto the floor, lying across her. Each touch was a mixture of slow, deliberate movements and a clumsy desire to be touching each other once again.

Once stripped of their clothes, Spike cradled her head between his hands so that he could stare into her face before kissing her over and over as if they had all the time in the world.

The heat of him was something she couldn't believe she'd ever been able to forget—memory spell or not. She clung to him tightly as he moved in achingly slow movements. Their lips met and clung as her breathing quickened.

He buried his face in her hair, as their bodies moved together in perfect unison. Buffy felt the edge coming up fast as she felt the tension in the pit of her stomach furl and unfurl with each new wave. Their cries, moments later, shattered the silence.

* * *

"I thought you were my friend!" Dawn shouted.

"I am your friend," Jenn insisted.

"I shared my Starbucks card with you! I don't do that for anyone!" Dawn knew she sounded ridiculous, but she was pissed, terrified and feeling royally screwed over. " What is it with everyone? Is there a line somewhere, where people just get together to screw me over?"

"I'm sorry," Jenn said. " I was going to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Dawn demanded.

"Could we go somewhere?" Jenn asked. " It's freezing out here."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!"

Jenn looked over at Lynx and then back at Dawn. " Yeah, you are."

Jenn touched Dawn's shoulder and suddenly she felt like all the air was sucked out of her lungs. It felt like she was being pulled by her naval and the park went spinning away. The next thing she knew she was standing in Jenn's living room. Her knees buckled underneath her and she fell to the ground clutching her head in her hands—waiting for the room to stop spinning.

Lynx appeared moments later. Jenn crossed her arms and flared at him. " How did you know where I live?"

"I just closed my eyes and wished myself where you were," Lynx said, and then he smiled brushing his hand through his hair ruefully. " That and I staked out your house when I got into town. Ran into a friend of yours too. Pretty little brunette wanna--be slayer."

"Rory," Dawn muttered, slowly getting to her feet. " The same girl Jenn knocked down the same night."

"She was trying to attack me!" Jenn said, defensively.

"But you're a friggin' witch! You could have stopped her without bashing her head in—you could have killed her!" Dawn shouted.

"She's a slayer, she was fine," Jenn said in her defense.

"Yeah well—wait how'd you know she was a slayer?" Dawn asked.

"I know a lot," Jenn explained. " I've been watching you."

Dawn crossed her arms. " Well that's not at all creepy."

"Listen," Jenn started. " I'm here to explain something to you."

"Alright," Dawn said. She took a seat on the sofa and waited.

"Could you not be here?" Jenn said to Lynx. He smiled in return.

"I'm starting to feel I'm not wanted," he told her sarcastically.

"Starting?" Jenn shot back. She turned her head away and muttered just loud enough for him to hear. " You always were a little slow on the uptake."

Lynx stepped forward, all amusement gone from his features. He grabbed Jenn roughly by the arm and wheeled her around so fast that she ricocheted off his chest, before stumbling backwards a little.

His voice was low like a hiss as he spoke. " Listen, this pretending that there's no history between us was cute and all before but it's starting to wear a little thin. Either way, we need to talk."

Jenn pulled herself out of his grasp, rubbing her arm. " Fine. We'll talk, but later."

He gave a curt nod and then disappeared. Jenn turned back to Dawn, grinning a little sheepishly.

"That was intense," Dawn, said.

"Always was, kinda the problem."

"How so?"

"Intensity is like fire. Intense, dramatic, unpredictable and there's a lot of heat it's all great at first, you know—exciting. But it eventually does what fire does best—it consumes, until there's nothing left but destruction." Jenn explained as she took a seat beside Dawn.

"Then why is he still around?" Dawn asked.

A small smile spread across Jenn's face as though recalling forgotten secrets. " He's always liked to play with fire."

"That's hot," Dawn, said, her voice coming across in an exaggerated breath. " You know even though you're evil and the like."

"I'm not evil," Jenn said, affronted. " Not exactly all good either."

"So…you're what—indifferent?"

"Yeah, something like that. There are small groups all over the world Dawn of—well, we'll say witches and warlocks cause there's not really a word for us—but we balance good and evil. Until I got into trouble one day and was shown a side of good in people I'd never experienced. From then on I've always been on the side of good. Both my friend Ace and I left. Our counterparts were Lynx and Talon. They always loved chaos. They didn't do it themselves, but they like to watch, so to say."

"And that's all?" Dawn asked.

"My name's really Juniper," Jenn said with a sheepish smile. "Purr for short. But please don't call me either. "

"That doesn't explain how you know so much about me."

"I've studied, I've watched." Jenn explained. " But it's not really important. What is important is the good in this world you're going to do."

"Are we talking Good Samaritan good," Dawn asked hesitantly. "Or key good? Cause I've both been there and done that and it didn't end well,"

"There's 2 secrets you should know," Jenn explained. " The first one is that," Jenn took a breath. "You were, and are, still a key."

Dawn's jaw dropped. " Well this isn't good."

"There's another thing," Jenn said slowly.

"Of course there is," Dawn sighed quietly as he knees dipped and she seemed to fall in slow motion into the chair.

Jenn took a breath she still couldn't believe she was about to do what she was about to do. " Your mother—your real mother—is very much alive."

* * *

And like out of a cheesy movie—Dawn fainted.


	39. THe Cold Hard Truth

****

38

Buffy awoke to the sound of a snowplow on the street below. The blue light resonated throughout the room, casting a dancing glow across the room. It took a moment for her to remember where she was, but the weight of Spike's arm around her waist brought her back to reality. She traced her fingers over the soft, fair hairs on the back of Spike's arm, her mind still quiet in the fog of sleep.

As she began to wake up she became more aware of him. Her back was pressed against his chest as he'd curled around her in sleep. She could feel the soft touch of his lips pressed against her shoulder blade.

Both of them were still completely naked, covered only in their discarded jackets. She had to smile at the sight of it all. Even after all they'd been through, all the changes, growth, ups and downs, she still found that they were lying in an abandoned building, covered in bruises and cuts, with various pieces of debris poking into her body. At least they hadn't broken through the floor yet.

"You're awake," Spike spoke quietly.

"Yea," she whispered back. They both spoke so quietly as if speaking too loudly might break the invisible thread that kept them in the moment. "How'd you know?" she added it sarcastically, and yet she wondered how he always just knew.

"Your breathing changed."

Buffy smiled in the darkness. How long had he been awake just holding her? " Well now, that's not fair, you don't breathe for it to give you away."

"Right, 'cuz asking 'Spike are you awake?' wouldn't help," he pointed out.

"Ah, you are a wise one yoda," she said. She felt a soft flutter against her shoulder blade and she knew he was smiling.

"Well, we're still on the top floor, guess we're one up from last time, yea?"

"I was just thinking that," Buffy said.

"The suns gone down," Spike said, feeling a little twinge of regret at having missed his once in a lifetime opportunity, but considering their lives, this was as well.

Buffy sighed. " I know." She turned over onto her other side so that she was facing Spike. He readjusted his hold and rested his forearm on the curve of her hip. She ran the tip of her finger over his bottom lip. " I don't want to leave."

"Why?" Spike asked.

Buffy looked down at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. " Because then this is over."

Spike sighed and rolled onto his back, readjusting his free arm under his head. Buffy rested her chin on his chest, waiting for him to speak.

"Aren't you going to say something?" She asked after several minutes of silence.

Spike absent-mindedly stroked her back as he stared up at the ceiling. " I don't know what to say, luv."

"Today was great," Buffy said. " Really great."

"Too right," Spike said with a low chuckle as flashes of earlier floated through his memory.

"But outside these walls, it's impossible," she said. " You have a baby coming. And then there's Kate. And you just appeared when all this began and what if when it's over, you disappear?"

"Those are a lot of problems," Spike said.

"I'm just being realistic," Buffy said. She raised herself up onto her elbow and looked him the face. "You know it too."

Spike didn't look at her, but he nodded. Buffy bit the bottom of her lip, chewing it in thought. "I know you love me."

This made Spike look directly at her, surprise on his face. " I do."

"But I know you love Kate too," Buffy said, feeling tiny twinges of jealously. " Even if she's currently trying to kill you."

Spike smiled. " What can I say? I fall for the bad girls who like playing a round of kick the Spike."

"Who said passion was dead?" Buffy laughed.

"It is possible to love two people at once," Spike said.

"I know," Buffy said. " Believe me, I know."

Spike knew exactly what she was talking about and felt his own twinge of jealousy. "It doesn't make things easy," he said.

"No, it doesn't," Buffy, agreed. " But deep down you know the answer Spike, we both do."

Spike cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand staring her deep in the eyes so that she understood him. " You're a hell of a woman, Buffy."

Buffy smiled sadly. " So you've said," her voice became softer as she said. " You always seem to be giving me strength."

"Anytime," he said softly.

Buffy bent her head and kissed him. " Before we go back to that whole apocalypse thing, there's something I have to say."

"Ok," Spike said.

"No interrupting though," Buffy said. " Let me say it and just trust me ok?"

Spike nodded, staring at her intently.

Buffy took a breath. " That last day we were together in Sunnydale, I told you that I loved you and you didn't believe me. Our history has been full of ups and downs. I came to you in fear and desperation after coming back from heaven. I was sad, terrified and alone. I used you, you knew it and I knew it. We went through a rough time, but I watched you change. I watched how you cared, how you tried and who you became.

We had no reason to trust each other and so I don't blame you for no believing me that day. Please believe me when I tell you that every word I said was true. I love you and part of me always will. And even though this is incredibly embarrassing, I need you to know that."

Spike swallowed hard, his face showing so many emotions at once that he seemed stumped for words.

"Spike? You can talk now," Buffy laughed nervously.

Spike looked at her and answered simply, though his speech was thick with emotion. "Thank you."

And then, quite suddenly and not at all passive, he was kissing her.

* * *

Willow took a seat across from Miss Patty, after thanking her for all the help she'd been. Willow took a sip from the cup of tea, Miss Patty had prepared, relishing the warmth on this cold day.

"I'm happy to see you're up and about," Miss Patty said, warmly.

"Me too," Willow said. " Trouble is a brewin', and I figure I'm better served in the fight than lying in bed."

"Wise words," Miss Patty said, with a nod of her head. " Though I will miss the house visits with that handsome Mr. Giles."

Willow stifled a laugh. " I'm sure he's sorry too." Miss Patty smiled.

"Now, enough of that," Miss Patty said, with an almost girlish giggle. " I came up with a plan the other night. I talked with Mr. Giles about it and he agrees."

Willow nodded. " Alright. What are we thinking?"

"Well we have two problems. One, we don't know where Kate is hiding out and that doesn't help if we want to take the attack to her to avoid being surprised. Second, we have a whole town of people that will, no doubt, be harmed or killed as an outcome."

Miss Patty took a cloth bag and a book out of her desk and brought them over to Willow, laying them on the small table between them.

"As for Kate, she's been too powerful to pin down on only one location. When I try and do a locator spell the entire map of Stars Hollow lights us!"

"Just like when I tried to do a locator spell for the first," Willow explained. "After awhile the power is so big it's impossible to pinpoint it exactly."

"Ahh, but that was before you met me," Miss Patty said, dramatically as she reached into the cloth bag she had set down moments ago. " It's like a magical tracer, the only problem is we need to get someone close enough to her to get it on her without her noticing."

"I think we can handle that part," Willow said as she took the small orb that was no bigger than the size of a quarter. " This is a huge help Miss Patty."

"Well, it's my town too dear," she said. " I don't want this thing making it's home here."

"Neither do I," Willow said as she pocketed the orb. " What about the town? This thing will spread before long and possession is never a pretty thing."

"Mr. Giles told me about that. " Miss Patty said. It must have been a serious conversation because she didn't get the usual twinkle in her eye when she mentioned Giles' name.

"We'll do everything we can to make sure that doesn't happen," Willow said as she bent forward and gave Miss Patty's hand a quick squeeze.

"Well, I've been working on something all night, and I think I have a way to prevent that from happening. Now normally it would be a tall order but Mr. Giles told me that you are a goddess and with you, I'm sure it can be done."

Willow felt the nerves kick in but tried to speak as calmly as possible.

" What were you thinking of doing?"

"How do you feel about something of biblical proportions?"

Willow swallowed hard.

* * *

Giles threw the latest book to the side, cursing softly under his breath. He slipped off his glasses and dropped them unto the table so he could rub his tired eyes. He was starting to go cross eyed after reading through several hours worth of material and still felt no closer to the answers they were all looking for.

Faith had her feet kicked up on the table, reclining in the chair with a sucker in one hand and a book rested in her lap. The legs on the chair looked close to buckling over the strain she was putting on it, but Giles couldn't be bothered to mention anything about it. Part of him welcomed the comedic relief of a fall.

Xander had his chin rested in his hand and his good eye kept dropping closed, staying that way several seconds longer than the time previous.

Giles didn't doubt that the where abouts of Buffy and Spike were on everyone's mind. And yet, with the time running out, research was both a welcome distraction and a necessity.

It was painfully quiet until--

The sound of the front door burst open, slamming hard against the wall. Faith let out a small cry-so startled--that she pitched backwards on her chair, her feet going up in the air as she hit the ground. She did almost a perfect backwards somersault and jumped to her feet looking clearly shaken and definitely pissed off.

"Where are you?" Dawn screeched, having headed to the foot of the stairs instead of turning into the darkened living room.

"What the hell?! I thought you said she was upstairs?" Xander asked, turning to Giles.

Giles slipped his glasses back on, looking just as confused as Xander. " I...I thought she was."

Dawn finally entered the living room, peering into the darkness, finding them standing by the dining room table, by the small amount of light offered by the lamp. She stepped closer, her face looking flushed with rage. Her hands were curled into fists at her side and she looked like she was going to start hitting things at any second. Giles in particular.

"Did you know?!" She shouted hysterically a she pointed at Giles. She wasn't slowing down at all and just seemed to be getting angrier and angrier with each step.

Xander had the foresight to jump around the edge of the couch and grab Dawn around the waist, just as she'd pitched herself at Giles. Giles looked shocked as he backed away from the maniac girl that had once been sweet little Dawn.

Dawn kicked out her legs, kicking Xander's shins every once in awhile as she struggled to get away from him. " Let me go!" she yelled, c clawing at Xander's arms. Xander gritted his teeth but refused to let go.

He hauled her off the ground so she didn't have so much leverage. " Use your inside voice Dawnie," he said, between clenched teeth.

"I'm serious Xander, let me go!"

"If you don't calm down I'm going to put you on the naughty step." Xander shouted back.

"You knew, didn't you!" Dawn shouted at Giles. "You knew I was still a key didn't you!"

"Dawn if you calm down--." Giles began.

"You're a key-again?" Faith chimed in.

"She's not a key!" Xander protested.

"I am!" Dawn shouted.

"Or she is..." Xander said slowly, looking at Giles in confusion.

"You've been so secretive," Dawn, said. " With everything! You seem to be a step ahead the whole time while we walk around blind! How could you not tell me about her?!"

"Her?" Xander asked. "There's a her now?"

And just like that, it was like a spell was broken and all the fight went out of her. She leaned heavily against Xander's chest, using him for support. Xander was trying to see Dawn's face, look for some kind of reaction but he couldn't see. He felt her shoulders begin to shake with silent sobs. Xander looked to Giles for answers, but he was just staring at Dawn with an unreadable expression.

"Who is her?" Xander asked Dawn softly.

"M...my mother," Dawn said. " I have a mother."

"Who? What?" Xander stammered. Had her memory been wiped too?

Giles began to massage his temples, as a sudden headache seemed to appear.

"Who is it?" Xander asked Giles.

"Me." Came the response from the corner of the room.

A figure stepped out from the shadows. Everyone turned to look at her. Xander's mouth dropped open. " Brooke?"

* * *

Rory pushed her food around on her plate, feeling like she'd never have an appetite again.

"Something wrong with the tots?" Lorelai asked.

Rory looked up, startled out of her thoughts. " Hmmmm? Oh, no-just not hungry."

"Not hungry?" Lorelai repeated. " Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?"

Rory smiled, pushing her plate away from herself. " I'm fine. Just not hungry."

"You want some pop tarts?"

"No, it's not the tots, it's that I'm not hungry." Rory reiterated.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure that you're starting to annoy me."

"Don't start getting lippy with me missy," Lorelai said lightly, as she pulled the rest of Rory's dinner onto her own plate.

"Lippy?"

"I'm trying something new by going retro with the lingo? And apparently rhyming."

"Lingo?"

"For example." Lorelai smiled. " Just trying to keep it fresh."

"By going retro?" Rory questioned.

"Righto!"

"This could get old."

"But that's the beauty-it IS old."

"What must it be like to be you?" Rory asked.

"Somewhat tiring, but always interesting," Lorelai answered, after a moment of thought.

"I wonder if crazy skips a generation," Rory said out loud.

"Have you seen your grandmother?" Lorelai asked.

"So you're saying it does skip a generation and that grandma and I are the nutty ones? That YOU, Lorelai Gilmore ms. doesn't keep ice in the fridge, are not?"

"I said I don't like to cook."

"We've had this conversation before. Making ice isn't cooking, it's the opposite."

"There's the whole getting the tray and filling it up."

"Which must be tiring," Rory said sarcastically.

"And then it never stays in the cups as you make your way to the fridge, it always spills."

"Walk slower."

"And isn't the fridge supposed to keep the drinks cold, I'm just cutting out the middle man here."

"Yea, I'm the nutty one."

"And your point?" Lorelai asked with a grin on her face.

"You make my head hurt."

"Well then you know what you must do..." Lorelai began to sing.

"Mom...no more retro."

"Whip it!! Whip it good!" Lorelai finished.

"Besides if it's the other way around," Lorelai said. " That would mean that your daughter would be like me."

"Wow, if that's not a powerful prophylactic then I don't know what is," Rory said.

"Oh, you will have children kid, how can you not pass that face onto the next generation." Lorelai said. " And hey, if you don't be careful, I'm going to start taking these little jabs to heart."

"I'm sorry mom," Rory said. " I'm just in a bad mood."

"What's up kiddo?"

"Just tired," Rory said. That part was true. Why she was tired, was something she couldn't tell her mother. A fact that was more disheartening than the new facts she'd learned. Her life was no longer planned out for her. She couldn't make a pro/con list about this it was forced upon her.

"So basically, you are going through something?" Lorelai asked.

Rory nodded.

"Something you have to go through alone?"

Rory looked at her mom for a second, letting the weight of that question hang in the air. "That's what scares me."

* * *

Jenn stood at the kitchen sink, her fingers curved over the edge of the metal basin, eyes closed as she listened to the soft ' plink plink' sound of the leaky faucet.

No matter what she'd come here to do, hurting Dawn had not been something she'd been happy to do. She'd told her the truth and even though it hurt right now, she knew it was for Dawn's best interest. Only, Dawn had become a good friend and Jenn didn't exactly have a lot to spare.

Suddenly she felt warm, strong hands begin to massage the tired muscles in her shoulders. Most people would have flinched or cried out in surprise, but Jenn had been able to sense him. It came with a lifetime's worth of time together.

No matter how mad she was at him, no matter how annoyed-she always had a hard time telling him to go. That was her biggest problem. She hung her head and let him massage her shoulders, feeling ever muscle begin to relax even as her heart began to speed up.

"You're tense," he said softly.

Jenn smiled, even though he couldn't see it. " I'm always tense when you're here Lynx."

Lynx moved his hands down her arms and encircled her waist, pressing against her. He whispered softly in her ear. " But I used to always relieve that tension too."

Jenn flushed pink, as her skin grew hotter. She hated how he could make her body completely betray her at a moment's notice. He caught her ear lobe between his teeth, nipping playfully the way he used to. Jenn refused to let him have her way this time.

She let her head fall back onto his shoulder and turned her head slightly so their faces were cm's apart. "Yes, you did, but I don't need that kind of relief that involves you staying. The relief of you leaving would suffice. " Boy, was that a bold face lie!

"Besides," Jenn continued. " The tension always came back." She turned in the small place he had warranted her, and found herself between his arms, and flashed him an ironic smile. " Something you weren't great at."

She pushed past him, leaving the dangerous confines of his arms.

He sighed heavily, annoyed. " What's that supposed to mean?"

Jenn turned back towards him, standing a comfortable amount of feet away from him. He crossed his arms and fixed his best stare at her. " I thought I was clear. You didn't come back. You left-often."

"You never acted like you wanted me around," he said. " Had I known you missed me," he added suggestively under his breath.

"I'm amazed that you fit through the doorway with that huge ego of yours."

"Ah, well, I transported in," Lynx said with a half smile.

Damn him! Jenn found herself smiling despite trying not to. But then again, Jenn always found herself losing the battle when he was around.

"Did I see a smile," Lynx said. " You might want to watch that, or I might think you enjoy my company."

"Sometimes I did," Jenn admitted.

He took a few more steps towards her. Jenn noticed and tried to subtly back away, matching his steps forward. "Well then, why the freeze out?" Lynx said. " You admit we had good times."

"I admit it, sure. But we also had bad times. Lots and lots of bad times. Loads, you might say." Jenn said.

"Are you talking about that thing in '83?" Lynx said with an exaggerated sigh.

"That THING involved you leaving me in a burning building with a Trykin!!" Jenn shouted.

"You got out, didn't you?" Lynx asked.

"That's not the point!" Jenn said. " You left me in a burning building with a dangerous killing machine! He could have killed me, and would have if Ace hadn't found me and helped me kill it."

"Our job is to balance the good with the bad. It was your choice to take on the job of saving people all of a sudden. It was you who changed your job description, not me! You're a fighter, I knew you'd be ok."

"But what if I hadn't?" Jenn asked.

"You want to be one of those girls that needs her strong boyfriend to save her?" Lynx asked. " You aren't that girl, and have never been that girl."

Well, that part was true Jenn thought. " I know that part. But..."

"But what?"

"But the thought of me dying should have made you react somehow," Jenn said softly.

"I knew you'd be fine," he said again, stressing the word 'fine'. " So is that why you've been avoiding me for the past twenty odd years?"

"Yes," Jenn said. " Because that night was the night...when I knew..."

Lynx walked forward and tilted her head back to meet his eyes. " Knew what?" he asked softly.

"That you didn't care about me the way I thought you did...or the way I felt about you."

"Because I thought you would be ok?"

"Because you didn't save me."

* * *

The spell of the evening (pardon the pun) had drifted away with the cool breeze. Buffy walked down the pathway towards the house, with Spike walking silently behind her. They had been silent for hours now, enjoying the last time, most likely, that they would ever be that close again. Buffy felt the need for closure and tonight she received that. Tonight was an ending to a chapter that had been open for so long. She was grateful for her time with Spike, even if pain had brought her there.

The house was mostly dark as she unlocked the door and stepped into the hallway. " Hello?" she called.

Buffy tossed her keys onto the table and shrugged out of her coat. " Anyone here?"

"In here, Buffy," came Giles' voice.

Her spider sense started tingling at the tone of his voice. She stepped into the dark living room. " What's wrong? Is it Dawn?"

Just as she asked, she spotted Dawn sitting on the sofa beside Xander, with her head buried in her hands. Buffy tossed her coat over the back of the armchair and she slowly sank into it. " Dawnie? What's wrong?"

Brooke stepped forward, looking just as miserable as everyone else. " We've had a rough night."

"Right," Buffy said. " There's no shortage of those around here."

"I trust you have your memory back?" Giles asked.

"Yes," Buffy said. " No black holes in this head. What's up? What happened? Why does everyone look like they have cancer of the puppy?"

"I gotta copyright that line," Xander said with a sigh.

Giles cleared his throat. "Well, we've had some information come to light."

"Information you already knew," Dawn muttered.

"Ok, as fun as this exposition is," Buffy said. " Could we get to the moral of the story?"

"I'm Dawn's mother," Brooke said simply.

Buffy's mouth dropped. " Ok...maybe a little more exposition is needed."

"Brooke is my mom," Dawn said. " I have a mother."

"Yes, I know you do," Buffy said. " She died a couple years back. That was your mother."

"Dawn has a biological mother," Giles explained.

"But the monk told me she was energy molded into human form," Buffy said. " She wasn't...born."

"She was born," Brooke said. " To me. A long time ago."

"I think I need to sit down," Buffy said.

"You are sitting down," Xander said.

"Oh...good." Buffy said. " Ok, so what is going on?"

"I fell in love with a mortal," Brooke said. " That was against the rules for a Guardian. We fell in love and I got pregnant. We tried to hide it as long as possible, but before long I was exposed. The baby was half mortal and half Guardian, because of that they knew that it would be a girl. And girls born to Guardians became the next generation of Guardians. But because she would have mortal blood she would be very special.

At that time the Guardians were watched very carefully. We had no control over anything, we had no free will. It's very different now, since the Revolution, but at that time I would not be allowed to keep her. I worked with the monks who would take her and keep her safe until I could get away from the Masters.

Unfortunately, I did not foresee that one of the Masters would guess my intentions and infiltrate the monks, posing as one of them. I didn't not realize that her blood contained a key that was powerful enough to open dimensions-to me she was just my daughter. The Masters took her and hid her away from me. I was sent away, held captive until the revolution. After that, I searched everywhere for her. The monks searched for her too, trying to keep their promise to keep her safe. They found her eventually, a couple of years ago, wiped her memory and filled it with the memories of a teenage girl and sent her to you to keep safe. It wasn't until we were chosen to protect the child that I found out that my daughter was here."

"If she was born that long ago, wouldn't she be much older? And how are you still 25?" Xander asked.

"I am the same age I was when I became pregnant. We possess strong magic and can freeze our age at whatever age we choose. I choose the age I was when I had Dawn, hoping in some small way that if I stayed the same she would be able to know me. Though she was small when she was taken away. And Dawn was aged to a teenager for the monks' purposes. She grows older now, because she wishes it. She wishes to be human and the magic in her is allowing her to age like a mortal."

"I can't believe this," Buffy said. " The monks said she was made from me. Our blood is the same."

"They did," Brooke assured Buffy. " She is your sister Buffy. I promise you that nothing can take that away from you. They mixed your blood with hers and the same blood flows in both your veins."

Buffy rubbed her head, feeling a headache coming on. "What did Dawn mean by you knowing?" she asked Giles. "You knew this?"

"Yes," Giles said. " I haven't always known, mind you. I found out a couple of months ago when I was researching the Guardians. I had my suspicions and Brooke confirmed them. Brooke wanted to tell you, she did from day one. Ashley and I thought it would be best to tell you after all these. I felt it would be a distraction, as I can see, I thought right."

"I still had a right to know," Dawn said. She lifted her head and Buffy noticed that her eyes were red and puffy. Obviously she had been crying, for hours from the looks of it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you," Brooke said to Dawn. " I wanted to so much! I have searched for over a hundred years looking for you, and then I find you and see you and know that telling you could be a distraction for you. If it got you hurt I would never be able to forgive myself."

"I just can't deal with this right now," Dawn said.

"You don't have to," Buffy said. " You should get to bed."

Just then, Willow came through the front door, looking out of breath. " Hey guys! Wait to you hear what Miss Patty has thought of! Just when you think you've heard of crazy you'll...wow, something happen?"

"Brooke is Dawn's mum," Spike said. " It's all very dramatic."

"Oh. Well. You win," Willow said.

"What were you going to tell us/?" Giles asked Willow.

"Miss Patty has come up with a way to clear the townspeople," Willow said.

"Clear the town?!" Faith asked.

"It would be a good idea," Willow said. " This thing could get ugly."

"This thing is already ugly," Xander said, rubbing his still sore shins, " and very, very violent."

"What is the plan?" Giles asked.

"Well," Willow said. " How does everyone feel about an earthquake?"

"An earthquake?" Buffy asked.

"Yes."

"You're going to cause an earthquake?" Xander asked.

"Yes. Followed by a flash flood," Willow said.

"Right, cause an earthquake just isn't enough," Xander said.

"All the best natural disasters have them," Faith said with a shrug.

"Can you do this?" Giles asked.

"Won't an earthquake and flood kill the townspeople? I think they have a better chance against Kate previously known as robey thing."

"There will be warnings,' Willow said. " The earthquake will be the warning and then we'll warn against a flood and the town will have to be evacuated."

"Can you do this?" Giles asked.

Willow immediately went to doubt, but remembered her mentor's words. " Yes, I can."

"Five by five," Faith muttered.

"More like two by two," Xander said.

"What?"

"Two by two. As in ark." Xander explained.

"I know," Faith said. " It's still not funny."

"Oh come on," Xander said. " Two by two, ark...flood. It's biblical humor. It's..."

"So, when is this earthquake?" Faith asked, ignoring Xander.

Just then there was a knock on the door. Buffy got out of her chair and answered the door. " Rory?"

"Hey," Rory said, looking nervous. " I'm sorry it's so late."

"What's wrong? Is Lorelai ok?" Buffy asked.

"She's fine," Rory said. " Well, right now she is."

"It's a little late for cryptic."

"Sorry. I need you to come with me,"

"Why?"

Rory paused for a minute, reconsidering. "I...I need to you to come to my house, because I'm going to tell my mom. And I need your help. She might believe me if you come and explain it to her."

"Oh."

"Buffy?" Rory asked. Buffy was staring at nothing, looking incredibly pensive. "Buffy, will you come?"

* * *

Author's Note:

Hello Everyone!

I have been writing this story for over a year now-wow! What started as an afternoon looking through fan fiction sites turned into a year long story that all started with a challenge to combine Gilmore Girls with Buffy.

Like all stories, this must come to a close. With this said, Buffy Goes to Stars Hollow will come to a conclusion at chapter 40. That leaves two chapters (after this one) left.

I am considering writing a second series to take place a couple months after the 'finale' but that depends on your feelings!

I am going to write the finale in 2 parts and try to post them within days of each other.

Thank you so much for the reviews. I'd love for all of you to take some time and review for the last 2 chapters.

All of those that want to see some images I've done, please email me and I'll send them to you!


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